You never listen to a word i say

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A CONVERSATION in which neither party is listening to the other was dubbed a “duologue” by Abraham Kaplan, a philosopher who died in 1993. A duologue, he suggested, is more than a monologue but less than a dialogue. (Multiply a duologue by a roomful of people, he cynically added, and you have a conference.) Two psychologists have now given his ideas some substance, by showing that people do indeed often fail to notice when the conversations they are engaged in descend temporarily into nonsense.

Bruno Galantucci of Yeshiva University in New York and Gareth Roberts of Haskins Laboratories in New Haven, Connecticut, are interested in how and why languages evolve. The intuitive (and mainstream) view of why people communicate is that they are trying to transmit information faithfully. The “information” may not be true, of course. But even lies, this view holds, are told with the hope they will be understood. Sometimes faithful transmission is indeed the intent, as when a pilot communicates, according to strict protocols, with a control tower. According to Dr Galantucci and Dr Roberts, however, transmitting information efficiently takes a lot of effort and is the exception rather than the rule. In spontaneous conversation, they report in a paper in PLOS ONE, people are surprisingly deaf to incoherence.

They demonstrated this by asking pairs of student volunteers to chat using an instant-messaging program. These volunteers, who had never met, did so sitting in separate rooms. They were given the task of identifying the differences in colour between two versions of a cartoon (each could see only one version). Unbeknown to them, though, another pair were performing the same task simultaneously, with a different cartoon. While the two conversations were going on, the researchers switched between them so that a student would suddenly and without warning find himself chatting to someone from the other pair. There were four such crossings during the 15-minute experimental period, each lasting 30 seconds. Afterwards the volunteers were debriefed, to establish if they had noticed anything strange about their conversation.

Having repeated the experiment with variations to allow for the fact that students who volunteer for psychology experiments tend to be wary of dirty tricks, Dr Galantucci and Dr Roberts reported that between 27% and 42% of participants did not notice that their conversations had been switched. Instead, those participants had simply burbled on regardless. Of course, exchanging instant messages is not quite the same as talking, so the two researchers have not definitively proved that many dialogues are actually duologues. But this research certainly adds to the suspicion that even supposedly purposeful communication often isn’t.

Слова

Always in a rush
Never stay on the phone long enough
Why am I so self-important?
Said I’d see you soon
But that was, oh, maybe a year ago
Didn’t know time was of the essence

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words
I never said

Always talking shit
Took your advice and did the opposite

Just being young and stupid
I haven’t been all that you could’ve hoped for
But if you’d held on a little longer
You’d have had more reasons to be proud

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words

The longer I stand here
The louder the silence
I know that you’re gone
But sometimes I swear I hear
Your voice when the wind blows
So I talk to the shadows
Hoping you might be listening
‘cos I want you to know

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Never said

Всегда спешу,
Всегда заканчиваю разговор по телефону раньше,
Почему я думаю только о себе?
Сказала, что скоро увидимся,
Но это было, ох, кажись, год назад.
Не знала, что время так много значит.

Так много вопросов,
Но я разговариваю сама с собой.
Я знаю, что ты больше не можешь меня услышать,
Больше не можешь…
Так много хочу тебе рассказать,
А больше всего — попрощаться,
Но я знаю, что ты больше не можешь меня услышать.

Слова, который я должна была сказать,
Кричат сейчас в моей голове.
И захлебываясь в раскаянии,
Я не могу вернуть назад слова,
Которые я так никогда и не произнесла.
Я не могу вернуть назад слова,
Которые я не произнесла.

Всегда несла пургу,
Послушала твой совет и сделала все наоборот.

Просто была молодой и глупой
И не оказалась такой, на какую ты рассчитывал.
Но если бы ты еще немного подождал,
У тебя было бы больше причин гордиться мной.

Так много вопросов,
Но я разговариваю сама с собой.
Я знаю, что ты больше не можешь меня услышать,
Больше не можешь…
Так много хочу тебе рассказать,
А больше всего — попрощаться,
Но я знаю, что ты больше не можешь меня услышать.

Слова, который я должна была сказать,
Кричат сейчас в моей голове.
И захлебываясь в раскаянии,
Я не могу вернуть назад эти слова.

Чем дольше я остаюсь здесь,
Тем громче становится тишина.
Я знаю, что ты ушел,
Но иногда, я клянусь, что слышу
Твой голос (когда дует ветер).
И я говорю с тенями
В надежде, что ты меня услышишь,
Потому что я хочу, чтобы ты знал,

Слова, который я должна была сказать,
Кричат сейчас в моей голове.
И захлебываясь в раскаянии,
Я не могу вернуть назад слова,
Которые я так никогда и не произнесла.
Я не могу вернуть назад слова,
Которые я не произнесла.

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