Working at the big word

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I am NOT OP, this is a repost.

Original: I [23f] get chastised at work for using «big words», posted on January 11th, 2022.

I work in the court system and most of my work consists of communicating with delinquent juveniles and their families. I’ve had instances where my supervisor or trainer observed a meeting I conducted with families where I supposedly used words that were too big. They’ve pulled me to the side to provide me with «constructive criticism» on how not to use big words when speaking with our juveniles and their families. I get that and have modified my ways. But they have also reminded me about using big words when I’m solely speaking with them…

Today I expressed a concern to my supervisor about something and I, very respectfully, said that I feel as though some of the expectations being placed on me were «arbitrary». Her facial expression became a bit dazed and she said «arbitrary?». And I said, «yeah, like-» and she immediately interrupted to very sternly say that I don’t need to give her definitions or explain words to her. We went back to discussing the issue and I guess I continued to use big words and she interrupted me again to say, «you don’t have to prove how smart you are to me»…I responded with, «that wasn’t my intent».

Honestly, I’m confused because I feel like I use words that anyone with at least a 12th grade education would know. But when I’m speaking with my juveniles, I always make sure to use «smaller» words but if I mess up and use a big word, I always follow it up with additional, smaller words to add context.

I don’t use those words because I want to come off as smart or pretentious. I use those words because it’s the only way I know how to speak without stuttering, saying «uhhh», or having to think of multiple words to express my sentiments as opposed to just saying one word that literally encompasses it all.

TLDR: I get in trouble at work for using big words to my supervisor. Today I was told that I don’t need to prove my intelligence when speaking to my supervisor.

EDIT: “Honestly, I’m confused because I feel like I use words that anyone with at least a 12th grade education would know with my colleagues”

EDIT: I wasn’t trying to explain to her what “arbitrary” meant but was preparing to give her an example of one of her arbitrary expectations

Everytime I post on this sub, I cry myself to sleep🥲. Night y’all

Relevant comment from a thread where OP is called a pretentious, condescending asshole, and where the same commenter tells OP what she should’ve done differently.

See, I did do those things though? That’s what is super frustrating.

1. I did change my vernacular with my juveniles and families. And at my last observation, the only thing my trainer could say was, “I was gonna say you talked too fast but it seemed like the family understood you so whatever”

2. I’m not sure what you mean by this one?

3. Me challenging my supervisor stemmed from weeks of her micromanagement managing style. I actually called a meeting with our chief about it and he was pissed off at me too until she started explaining some of the things I was pushing back on. Then he realized she was doing way too much and asked her to pull back.

4. I’m not arguing in the comments. Or at least I’m not trying to. I just want people to understand the situation clearly, and this comment alone proves that this whole situation was completely misunderstood. [link]

Update: UPDATE I [23f] get chastised at work for using «big words», posted on January 12th, 2022.

Last night I made a post on this sub about being ridiculed at work for my use of «big words». I say big words in quotations because I genuinely did not believe that I was using words that were not that common. Unfortunately for me, it happened again. My trainer was going over something with me while my supervisor observed from the corner of my office. I sat and listened quietly (as I always do). When she stopped talking, I hadn’t responded yet so she said, «you understand?». I responded with, «yeah, I’m just synthesizing my thoughts» because honestly, she had thrown a lot at me and I was mentally putting all the pieces together. And she snickered and mockingly repeated, «synthesizing».

Just to add some background on my professional relationship with them, my trainer has been on me about word pronunciation and grammar since as long as I can remember working here. And it’s never anything legit, but instead very minor things like if I mispronounce a city or slip up and say, «ain’t» in a sentence. This is in regular, everyday conversation. So she picks when I use big words and she picks when I speak ignorantly. One time she came into my office and gave me a mathematical problem (it was a legit one she needed an answer to), but she told me not to use my calculator after I had already went to grab it. I told her I wouldn’t be of much help without one. So she walked out and walked back in and said, «the answer is x» in a very dry tone and walked away.

My current supervisor was previously a coworker that worked very closely with my trainer as colleagues. I think they’re pretty close work friends. Out of all of the conversations that I’ve had with my supervisor as my co-worker, she never took issue with my speech or choice of words. Admittedly, though, we work much more closely now than we did previously. I highly suspect this is one of those things where somebody else is annoyed by something, so they complain about it to someone else and that person begins to subconsciously develop the same feelings because they are now aware of something they weren’t before. I thought my trainer may have been joking initially with all the picking, but realized very quickly that this was something much less innocent when my supervisor blurted out during that pretty intense discussion yesterday, «Stop with the big words. You don’t have to prove how smart you are to me!». I couldn’t help but feel like her last statement was something that had been discussed and said about me behind my back and she finally found the perfect opportunity to patronize me for it.

Anywho, I spoke with my boss’s boss about it and he asked my supervisor to chill out with the micromanaging (a very separate, yet debilitating issue) and affirmed the way I speak so I guess that worked out.

P.S. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read my post completely and provide relevant feedback to the issue. I also appreciate those who private messaged me! I’m definitely grateful because those messages are what helped me sleep after a depressing day at work and an even more depressing night on Reddit. u/Conspirador, you’re a real one, my guy.

TLDR: Update from my post last night. Told my boss’s boss about the issue and he told her to back off and found no issue with the way I speak.

Relevant comment in response to somone telling her she needs to learn to know her audience, even if her boss is an ass:

I totally get what you’re saying and I accept that. I don’t use words like this with juveniles I work with or with everyday people. The issue here isn’t lack of understanding because my colleagues would be like “what?” or pretend they know what it means. But instead they choose to actively pick on it. And then pick on me when I do say something wrong. I can’t win either way. Not with them and apparently not here on this sub either. [link]

Friendly reminder that I am not OP, this is a repost.

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