Word problems about love

Problems of young people don’t seem very important for adults. The youth is a very difficult age especially because all feelings and emotions are very strong and there are a lot of them.  All the problems seem very important.

The most common problems of young people are:

1. Problem of misunderstanding (in a family, with classmates, teachers)
2. Problem of communication (problems with friends)
3. Problem of addiction (health problems)
4. Problem of love
5. Problem of choosing the future profession
6. Problem of pocket money
7. Bulling
8. Summing Up on the topic «Problems of the Young»

1. a rule — правило
2. strict / kind — строгий / добрый
3. fair / unfair — справедливый / несправедливый
4. rude / polite — грубый / строгий
5. agressive / violent — агрессивный
6. indulgent — потворствующий
7. to need in — нуждаться в
8. necessary for — необходимый
9. be responsible for — отвечать за что-то
10. private life — личная жизнь
11. own business — личное дело
12. attitude to — отношение к
13. to interfere — вмешиваться
14. a permission — разрешение
15. ask for permission — спрашивать разрешения
16. to allow — разрешать
17. I am allowed — Мне разрешают
18. to make smb do smth — заставлять (после глагола «make»  в значении «заставлять» частица to не ставится)
19. to influence smb — влиять
20. to depend on — зависеть от
21. to face problems — сталкиваться с проблемами
22. to cope with problems (= overcome problems)– справляться с проблемами (преодолевать)
23. to quarrel with  — ссориться с
24. to argue with — спорить с
25. to agree/ disagree with — (не) соглашаться с
26. to contradict — возражать
27. to answer back — огрызаться
28. to defend one’s opinion — отстаивать свое мнение
29. to be on good terms with (= get on well with) — быть в хороших отношениях
30. to punish (punishment) — наказывать (наказание)
31. reason / cause — причина
32. to cause — вызывать
33. to lead to — вести к
34. to understand — понимать
35. to misunderstand — понимать неправильно
36. misunderstanding — непонимание
37. to behave — вести себя
38. behavior — поведение
39. to follow parents’ advice — следовать совету родителей
40. to consult parents/ friends — советоваться с родителями
41. to insist on doing– настаивать на
42. to come across the same problem — встречаться с той же проблемой
43. to treat as a child — обращаться как с ребенком
44. to make fun of — высмеивать
45. to respect — уважать
46. to rely on — положиться на
47. have much in common — иметь много общего
48. to trust — доверять
49. to betray — предавать
50. to envy — завидовать

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Problems of Young People

Remember that there are synonyms for the word:
teenagers = young people = the young = the youngsters
parents = adults = grown-ups
youth (молодость) — the youth (молодежь)

1. The Problem of Misunderstanding with Parents or Teachers

Remember that the cause of misunderstanding in a family is generation gap. Generation gap is  difference in years.

Words to know: complain, accept, be questioned, generate, dissatisfy, warning, make up, encourage, express their identity — выражать свою индивидуальность

Problems with parents. Personal problems can look silly and unimportant to the eyes of grown-ups, who have already passed this period. These problems are caused by generation gap. Every generation is unique in its experience. It has its own ideals and a system of values. Adults always complain that the young are not always what they were. These words are repeated from generation to generation. That’s correct. In fact today the young are better educated. They grow up more quickly. They have more freedom. At present the young do not blindly accept the ideals of their parents.  They don’t believe that they are right only because they are older. But the adults don’t want their values to be questioned. All these differences generate a generation gap when the young and adults don’t understand one another.

As a rule, the adults dissatisfied with their own life, teach the young how to live. Unfortunately they apply old standards to the new way of life.  But the young people don’t want to live in the past. They have their own ideas. They want to make their own mistakes rather than to listen to the warnings of the adults and repeat the mistakes of the older generation. They want to overcome their own difficulties. But grown-ups try to keep teenagers away from all the “dangers”, which makes up life.

Problems with teachers. The same misunderstanding we face sometimes from the side of the teachers. They think that youth is given for studying.  However, school takes all teenagers’ time but the person who only studies is dull.

Another problem is bad marks. Bad marks don’t encourage weak students, they simply can’t do better. Also bad marks can cause problems with parents as they don’t want to understand that their child does his (her) best.

Young people need to be taken seriously. As long as parents and teachers can’t take teenagers seriously, they form their own social groups. So, many teens belong to different subcultures. The members of these youth groups express their own identity (themselves) through clothes, appearance, behavior and music they listen to. They have their own values and beliefs.

1.1. Express your opinion on the points. Give good reasons or examples from your life.

1. there is always some sense in parents words;
2. the best way to solve problems with parents is to talk peacefully;
3. that the best tactics is not to contradict the parents.

1.2. Answer the questions.

1. Do you often quarrel with your parents?
2. Do you have much in common with your parents?
3. Do you always understand your parents? Do they understand you? What are the reasons of misunderstanding?
4. Do your parents help you to solve your problems?

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2. The Problem of Communication / Problem with Friends

Words to know: to socialize, entertainment, opportunity, to bully, a bully, hurt, victim, pick on — приставать, avoid — избегать, stand up for — защищать, abuse – жестоко обращаться, threaten — угрожать, tease — дразнить, cause harm – причинять вред

Communication has always been an important part of young people’s life. It is very difficult to be on good terms (get on) with everybody as all people are different. Sometimes teenagers don’t feel comfortable in a group because they are too shy or not very strong. But every human needs to socialize and it is the reason why they prefer different ways of communication.

Today teenagers can choose between traditional and new ways of communication. Traditionally they meet after classes with their school friends, make parties, go to the cinema or disco clubs to have fun, relax and make new friends.

But if the young people do not like noisy clubs and other places of entertainment, they can find friends without leaving their homes – the Internet gives them such an opportunity. They can sit for twenty hours chatting with their friends.

2.1. Express your opinion on the points. Give good reasons or examples from your life.

1. It is a problem to choose good friends.
2. There can be only two or three real friends.
3. «Friends are thieves of time» (an English proverb).

2.2. Answer the questions.

1. What makes people friends?
2. Do you spend much time with your friends? What do you usually talk about?
3. Do you know about your friend’s problems? Do you try to help?
4. What do you value in your friends?

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3. The Problem of Addiction / Health Problems

Words to know: addiction, unability, properly, curiosity, sensations, on the contrary,  undermine, lively, listless, detached — отстраненный, dependence, injection — инъекция.

Every type of addiction is dangerous for a personality. For an addiction we mean the unability to stop doing actions that are harmful for health.

Let us take for example, computer games. Nowadays many young people are keen on computer games. Such young people don’t eat, sleep, work or learn properly. It’s a great problem and parents don’t know how to make them get interested in a real life.

The tragic effect of drug-addiction is experienced by millions of people. The use of drugs starts at school, at parties, in discotheques, etc, when youngsters are no more than 15 to 17 years old. Often they make their first “try” out of curiosity – or so as not to be “different” from their “mates”. They want to get new, unexpected sensations, they hope it will stimulate their imagination and creative abilities. But, on contrary, drugs actually undermine creativity.

As a result of regular use of drugs an active and lively personality turns into a listless person, lacking in energy and without any interests. Life becomes focused on the need to get and apply drugs. It means that the total personality becomes influenced by the regular use of drugs. The addict gradually loses his or her better moral characteristics, becomes detached from friends and family. Drugs don’t mean enjoyment, they mean dependence. And it is too late when all the victims realize it. It can take a year or six months for that “dependence” to develop – but more often, just a month or two. Sometimes a person can become addicted after just one injection.

Young people can have health problems caused by smoking or drinking beer. They do it to look older and more independent.

3.1. Comment on the following.

1. If you are keen on computer games, you have lost interest in a real life.
2. If you are keen on computer games, you don’t have any friends.
3. Only weak people can be addicted.

3.2. Составьте несколько предложений по проблеме наркомании, используя конструкцию Complex Subject.

ОБРАЗЕЦ Drug addiction is said to be experienced by 30 millions of Russia’s population.

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4. Problem of Love

Words to know: stable relations, inexperienced, pregnancy — беременность, a proposal — предложение руки, break down — распадаются.

The problem of love is very important for young people. They believe that love can last forever. They think that desire and passion in love are enough. Unfortunately, often their hearts are broken. Young people are not always ready to have stable relations. In many cases they are too young and inexperienced to begin a family life.

Sometimes their relationships lead to early marriages and teenage pregnancy. But young people do not realize responsibilities when make a proposal of marriage. Early marriage, pregnancy and upbringing a baby can destroy their career plans, prevent from fulfilling their dreams. Only few marriages in youth end up happily. The majority of them break down in a year or two.

4. Answer the questions:

1. Do you believe in «love with first sight»?
2. Do you think that love at this age can be true?
3. What should young people do if they love each other? Should they be together or wait until their coming of age (совершеннолетия)?

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5. Problem of Choosing Future Profession / Problem of Education

Words to know: educational institution — образовательное учреждение, graduate — выпускник, poor-paid position — плохо-оплачиваемая должность, good score — хороший балл, suitable — подходящий

Read more texts about choosing future profession

The problem of education is also very serious. There are educational institutions at present but the quality of education is different. Some of are state, some are private. Some are difficult to enter, others are easy to enter. Some of them prepare specialists who can easily find a prestigious and well-paid job, others offer their graduates only poor-paid positions.

The choice of the educational institutions depends on the school you study at, your parents, the financial conditions of the family, your likes and dislikes. But everbody has to study hard because to enter a good institute they must have good score on their exam test.

It is a great problem to find a suitable institute and a profession for the rest of your life. But it is very important as making the wrong choice will influence your future life.

5. Answer the questions:

1. Why is it important to make the right choice while choosing future profession?
2. Why is it difficult?
3. Would you like to get a good education? Why?
4. Is it necessary to study hard at school to make a successful career? Why or why not?

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6. Problem of Pocket Money

The problem of money is important as well. Young people need to have pocket money for buying things for themselves, for example discs, fashion clothes, etc.  As a rule, parents give their children money for food and clothes. However, in large families children have to work to pay for extra clothes, things necessary for hobbies, etc.

6. Answer the questions:

1. Do you have enough pocket money for your needs?
2. Is it your parents who give you pocket money?
3. What do you spend your pocket money on?
4. Have you ever tried to earn money? What did you do?

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7. Bulling

Words to know: to bully, a bully, hurt, victim, pick on — приставать, avoid — избегать, stand up for — защищать, abuse – жестоко обращаться, threaten — угрожать, tease — дразнить, cause harm – причинять вред

Bulling is a problem which is wide-spread at schools and in neighbourhoods.

A bully is anyone who feels powerful when they hurt or pick on someone else. They do not need a reason, just a victim to tease, threaten, cause harm or abuse. If you are a victim of a bully, there are a few things you can do:

• Avoid the bully whenever possible. Walk or run away from the bully.
• Ask your friends to stick close. It is harder to pick on someone when they have friends standing up for them.
• Ask an adult (parent, teacher or counselor) for help.
• Be brave and firm. Tell the bully to stop picking on you, that you do not like it and will report the abuse if it contin­ues.

If you see someone else being bullied, don’t get in the way; you could be hurt. Find an adult to help ASAP (As Soon As Possible).

7. Answer the questions:

1. Is there bullying in your school?
2. Have you ever been bullied?
3. Have you ever seen someone been bullied? What did you do?
4. What do you think is the best way to stop a bully? Give a talk on the problem.

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 8. «Problems of the Youth» (подведение итога)

1. Give a talk on the yough problems, using the table.

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2. Answer the questions:

1. What are the most common problems of young people?
2. Do you share the opinion that problems can make people stronger?
3. Do your friends have the same problems as you?
4. Is it possible to solve your problems by yourself?
5. What is the best way to solve the problems?

3. Повторите слова на тему «Laws of Co-existence»

1. respect each other, listen to each other, talk to each other, observe the laws of co-existence, deserve somebody’s love, get on well with, argue with ach other, quarrel each other, need badly, get rid of, do without;

2. fair — unfair, possible- impossible, dependent — independent, different — indifferent;

3. to argue — argument, to discuss – discussion, to resolve — resolution, to depend — dependence/ independence, a quarrel — to quarrel, to a value — to value, a cause — to cause;

4. lead to fights, bad relationship, violence, unfair punishments, be involved in conflict, cause the conflict, different values,  prevent conflicts, the right to disagree, the right to be different, be tolerant, resolve a conflict, conflict resolution, in a peaceful way, discuss the situation.

4. Презентация на тему «Conflicts»

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Relationships are often a mixed bag of ups and downs. If there are rosy spells, there are rough patches too. Knowing what the most common relationship problems are can help you brace yourself for weathering the storms, big and small. This, in turn, helps your relationship survive the tumultuous times without taking a major hit.

For instance, when you know that life can get overwhelming sometimes and that can make partners seem distant, you don’t worry about what a phase like this means for the future of your relationship. Instead, you give each other space, wait it out or make an effort to connect despite all the pre-occupations. Relationships take time to develop. You need to patiently gauge the signs of relationship problems and eliminate them with discretion. Early relationship problems are starkly different from the challenges of a relationship later in life. That’s why an understanding of relationship issues can prevent them from snowballing into irreconcilable differences.

No doubt there is a multitude of relationship challenges for couples, but the top relationship problems that couples face are somewhat similar to all. Knowing those would help you resolve the conflicts when you are fighting and arguing in the early stages of a relationship. With the help of dating coach Geetarsh Kaur, founder of The Skill School which specializes in building stronger relationships, let’s take a look at the problems in relationships most people are bound to come across.

When Do Relationship Problems Start To Surface?

Relationships do not come with an expiry date. However, every relationship does go through various phases. Although pinning down the beginning of relationship challenges for couples is only as easy as finding a needle in a haystack, a better understanding of the stages in a relationship can certainly help. 

Most relationships see through conflicts once the ‘honeymoon’ or the dating phase gets over. A couple starts dating after going through a serious bout of attraction. The laws of attraction often make one turn a blind eye to the other person’s flaws. As the lovestruck couple gets to know each other better after having spent considerable time together, the relationship problems start making their appearance felt. 

It is true that the hardest months in a relationship begin when the spark fizzles out. But truer is the fact that love is a journey and not a destination. Obstacles are bound to surface. Instead of succumbing to the impediments, look at the hurdles as a pit stop for refueling and rejuvenating for the rest of the journey.

Obstacles in relationships are inevitable. Work pressure taking a toll on intimacy. Spark fizzling out. Disrespectful In-laws getting on your nerves. Kids wreaking havoc on your sex life. Illness. Professional journeys taking you on different paths. Life can throw all kinds of twists and turns at you, taking you through some of the hardest months in a relationship.

When you’re together for the long haul, these life complications start impacting your relationship dynamics. That’s how some of the most common long-term relationship problems start off. What seemed like a happy-go-lucky relationship up until a day ago may look like broken furniture and blocked social media accounts the next day.  Endless conversations are replaced with communication problems in a relationship. Common relationship issues, while easily fixable, might just be enough to cause major rifts between lovers.

In the thick of things, the most minute problems may feel like the biggest relationship problems, that gradually start hinting at the signs a relationship won’t last. As though they completely warrant the raised voices and the verbal abuse thrown at each other. Once the dust settles, however, the partners might realize that the damage their harsh words caused was not a justified reaction.

Understanding the common relationship problems will help you navigate your way better. It is significant to your relationship because:

• Learning about the common relationship issues will make sure you’re both better equipped to deal with the lemons a topsy-turvy relationship throws your way, and come out the other end with a jug full of lemonade
• Granted, navigating the relationship challenges isn’t as easy as making lemonade, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker
• Having a deeper understanding of what causes the most problems in relationships will help you steer clear of most of them

Geetarsh sheds light on the common relationship problems and how you can find your way out of them. “No matter what you experience, be it trust issues, jealousy issues or monetary conflicts, you can pretty much find common ground and solve them through effective communication. Especially when you’re dealing with touchy subjects, make sure you talk about things calmly and are willing to make your partner feel heard. I always tell my clients to write down the things they want to talk about and consider the possible solutions.”

If you trying to understand how to work through your issues and restore your bond to its original strength, learning about these 25 most common relationship problems can help. Relationship challenges for couples can be nipped in bud if taken note of at the right time.

Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

1. Being overwhelmed by life

Yes, sometimes life itself becomes one of the most domineering obstacles in relationships.

• Maybe one of you is up for a promotion and all the energy is focused on sealing the deal
• You have an ailing parent to take care of and that responsibility becomes your priority
• Or a teenage child is acting out and that’s all you and your partner can talk about

There are many circumstances when your relationship takes a back seat without you even realizing it. Think about it, when you’re unable to find the motivation to aptly deal with your own issues, how will you be able to support your partner in their hour of need? Being overwhelmed by your own life may end up making your partner feel like you’re not present in the relationship, even if that’s the last thing you want.

The biggest problems in relationships don’t all revolve around how you two collectively operate, they may be the problems you individually face. Making a conscious effort to connect with each other, no matter what the situation, can help you beat this common relationship problem.

2. Lack of healthy communication

That wet towel on the bed has been driving you up the wall. Soon something so inconsequential becomes a reason for constant bickering between you and your partner. A fight ensues every morning. Such common relationship arguments can cause you to become withdrawn and distant. Fights, frustration and misunderstandings take hold, and sooner than you realize, you start dealing with communication problems in a relationship.

Geetarsh explains how a lack of healthy communication is a common relationship problem that affects almost every couple she comes across. “Though communicative partners exist, there also exist a lot of non-communicative partners. The conditioning in them to not talk about what’s been bothering them may have been fostering since they were children, and they’re just manifesting what they know communication to be.

“This can become a huge problem, since people don’t ever figure out how to express their displeasure to people in a healthy way.” To tackle the problem, Geetarsh suggests figuring out how you can amiably bring up the things that have silently been building up resentment inside you.

Not addressing the elephant in the room out of the fear of instigating a nasty fight is an all too common example of increasing communication problems in a relationship. According to a study, effective communication is imperative for a healthy relationship. The findings of the study show:

• Adequate and positive communication between couples enhances the quality of their relationship, while “accumulation of negative exchanges” depletes the couples’ satisfaction
• The study further illustrates how effective communication is directly related to increased intimacy and the feeling of being understood and validated by the partner

Almost all of the relationship challenges for couples can be swiftly solved, or at least ameliorated, by honest and judgment-free communication. Learning how to express your concerns openly and listening with an open mind can make a huge difference to your relationship dynamics.

3. Taking each other for granted

When you have a lot on your plate, it’s easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted. Before you even realize it, you only discuss the mundane essentials of everyday life or eat your meals staring at your phones. This is among the top signs of relationship problems that can make partners drift apart.

Getting caught up in your own life might affect the amount of time you’re able to spend with your partner, and sooner rather than later, those engaging conversations you had just before bedtime become a thing of the past. Couples can take each other for granted when they assume that the relationship will last regardless of the effort they put in, as though it doesn’t need rejuvenation from time to time.

What causes the most problems in relationships is when you just expect your partner is going to be there for you, even if you’re not pulling your own weight. In such situations, when couples talk about relationship problems they may be facing, they fail to see the lack of effort they’re putting in. You can counter it by making a sincere effort to set aside some quality time together every day. Schedule regular date nights. Text back and forth throughout the day. Or institute a no-gadgets rule before bedtime every day.

4. Money issues

If you and your partner do not practice sound financial planning right from the beginning, money can become one of the relationship challenges for couples. Whether you’re struggling with a shortage of money or disagree over spending style, issues related to money can escalate quickly.

Geetarsh talks about how you mustn’t let your infatuated brain fall prey to the “your money is my money” approach, and think about yourself above all else. “Money should always be the first thing that you have to consider when you decide to spend your life with someone. In situations when one partner is doing better financially than the other, they must realize that there will be a lot of compromises they’ll need to make.

“A lot of other factors depend on your financial independence. Just thinking about your own finances isn’t going to cut it either, you must now think about the collective funding and finances for the both of you. Not having a conversation about it before getting married is criminal, and bound to lead to a lot of misunderstandings. From all the common issues in relationships, this is a problem no one warns you about.”

It may not seem like it when everything is rainbows and butterflies, but one of the biggest problems in relationships often involves money, and it has the potential to ruin a good relationship. As per a study published by the National Library of Medicine:

• Financial problems were cited as being a major contributor to divorce by 36.7% of the participants of the study
• The participants further elaborated to indicate the evil nexus between financial difficulties and increased stress and tension within the relationship
• Other participants also revealed that monetary problems were linked to other signs a relationship won’t last

Setting short-term and long-term budgets, and discussing savings and investment plans can help you negate this problem. Besides helping you build a secure financial future together. Another survey, conducted by One Poll and commissioned by National Debt Relief, studied 2000 Americans and found that about 60% of them have been delaying their marriage to avoid inheriting the debt of their partners. Being financially stable is as much of every couple’s priority as saving up for the rainy days ahead.

Related Reading: How Money Issues Can Ruin Your Relationship

5. War of chores

What are the most common problems in a relationship? When looking for an answer to this question, you don’t really expect the pile of mounting dishes to be one of them. Turns out, dividing the chores you two need to get to might just help sustain harmony in your relationship.

Who will take the responsibility for doing the dishes? Who takes out the trash? How often will the lawn get mowed? And who will do it? As inconsequential as these may sound, disagreements over chores are among the most common long-term relationship problems. This has especially emerged as one of the biggest common relationship problems during lockdowns.

It’s critical to be able to have a mature conversation about who is supposed to do what early on. Making an agreement over the division of household responsibilities and honoring it is a smart and simple way to take constant bickering out of the equation. This is a good way to handle relationship issues in the beginning.

6. Mistrust

Not being able to trust each other is also one of the common relationship problems. Lack of trust isn’t always triggered by cheating or infidelity. Maybe either one or both of you have underlying trust issues. Perhaps, your partner has lied to you in the past and you find it hard to take their word at face value.

When trust is missing from a relationship, it becomes a breeding ground for a host of other problems. The “friends” your partner hangs out with now seem like a threat to your relationship, and the innocent colleague who calls at 9 PM doesn’t seem too innocent anymore. Not trusting your partner is one of the common signs a relationship won’t last.

Geetarsh explains how trust issues can effectively be avoided or curbed. “If there is healthy, open communication between the couple, such trust issues will not spring up. It’s possible to fight them and avoid this common early relationship problem by making sure there’s adequate reassurance and honesty.

“If the partners make each other feel secure, there’s a good chance trust issues are not going to spring up. However, if due to circumstances some trust issues do crop up, both partners must sit with each other and talk about what went wrong and what made them feel insecure. Establish healthy boundaries and assure each other that you’re going to follow them.”

The biggest relationship problems often threaten the very foundation of your equation.  Relationships take time to develop so, do your best to be transparent and trustworthy. From not lying about your whereabouts to showing up when you promised to, every small effort goes a long way in reinstating trust in a relationship.

7. A shift in life goals

Our life experiences change us. Let’s say you were both ambitious and driven as a young couple. Then, a difficult pregnancy caused one of the partners to prioritize motherhood over career. Or a near-death experience transformed the other partner into a more “live in the moment” person.

When a couple is not on the same page about their life goals, they can drift apart quickly. The disparity in your thought process, your aspirations, your goals, and your concomitant approach to life, can give you the hardest months in a relationship. If you’re going through such a transformative experience, make sure your partner is aware and in agreement with your changing priorities. Though people don’t really think about it, the relationship problems between couples can escalate when one half of the equation completely changes the way they look at problems and solutions.

If a person decides to quit their 9 to 5 in an attempt to pursue a more fulfilling life, their partner may be worried about the agreed-upon financial budget that’s now going to go down the drain. Granted, most changes in life might not be this severe, but a change in religious beliefs and values may well be enough to trigger compatibility issues.

A shift in life goals is one of the biggest issues in relationships, since your partner may find it hard to embrace this change. The onus of making them see things from your perspective is on you.

8. Lack of appreciation

When was the last time you complimented your partner? Or they thanked you for something? Can’t seem to recall? You’re not alone. Lack of appreciation is considered among the most normal relationship issues. “When people feel neglected and feel like they’re being taken for granted, it eventually makes them stop putting effort into the relationship,” Geetarsh explains.

“Though they might just be going through their chores dutifully, not being appreciated for them is one of the common relationship problems. Verbal appreciation is one of the most sought-after forms of appreciation that, frankly, any human needs and should be able to get. In fact, there was a study that claims that the hormonal rush a person gets from receiving compliments is similar to the rush they receive when they are handed cash,” she adds.

A simple, “Thank you so much for doing that, I appreciate it”, can do wonders for your bond. Who knows, perhaps those often fought over chores might also be done a lot quicker if a few words of encouragement were exchanged. Relationship challenges for couples can be overcome. The hardest months in a relationship get easier to sail through. Such is the power of acknowledging someone’s efforts.  A lot of the relationship challenges you face might be eradicated by simply offering validation through kind words.

It’s easy to start taking each other’s strengths and good qualities for granted when you’re in a long-term relationship. Be mindful of the fact that a compliment here and an appreciative gesture there can keep your relationship fresh and full of spark.

Related Reading: 10 Signs He Is Still In Love With His Ex

9. Mismatched sex drives

Yet another one of the most commonplace and normal relationship issues. As our bodies go through myriad changes, with all the stress, hormones, and age catching up, our libidos become unpredictable. In that case, sexual compatibility might become an issue. Lack of intimacy can make couples distant and discontent.

Modern lifestyle often leads to relationship challenges for couples. What causes the most problems in relationships is the contradictory sex drive between the partners. The problem of Sexual desire discrepancy (SDD) arises as the relationship registers a difference between the partners’ desired frequency of sexual intimacy and the actual occurrence of the sexual intercourse. 

As per a study conducted on 1054 married couples, an individual’s sexual desire discrepancy has a direct bearing on “relationship satisfaction, stability, communication, and conflict during the marriage.” The study found that the dynamics between sexual intercourse and relationship outcomes are undeniable. The higher an individual’s SDD, the more the relationship is undermined. 

To keep your love boat as steady as a rock, eliminate the chances of relationship problems emanating from conflicting sexual drives. Make an effort to carve out time to get intimate with your partner. Explore other forms of intimacy if your sex drive has taken a hit. Seek medical help, if the situation is taking a toll on your relationship. Geetarsh says, “Though it’s one of the most common relationship problems, it’s also one that couples tend to avoid talking about, fearing they’re going to come off as desperate or that they’re going to anger their partner.

“To address it, you must make sure you talk about it with your partner in a productive manner. Talk about your desires, your likes and dislikes, but make sure the other person feels heard and validated as well. Try to understand the reason behind their sex drive, and be a little empathetic in your approach.”

10. Approach toward parenting

Raising children together can be one of the biggest blessings as well as a litmus test for a relationship. First of all, these tiny humans can take up so much space in your life and mind that your bond with your SO takes a back seat. To top it off, if you disagree on parenting styles and what values to inculcate in your children, it can be a recipe for disaster.

You end up making parenting mistakes and blame each other for that. Discuss these things before you take the plunge into parenthood and you can dodge a major bullet. “I tell all my clients to sit down with their partners before they get married and ask them about how they’d like to approach parenting. How do they want to raise their children? Are they stern or do they have a more lenient mindset while you believe in a strict bed-time?

“At the end of the day, you are also bringing a human being into the world who is going to be a product of your parenting. You wouldn’t want anyone to enter into the world with baggage stemming from negative family dynamics. People assume that clashes over parenting decisions are among the common relationship problems after a baby is thrown into the mix, but it can be avoided if a couple has had a conversation about it beforehand,” says Geetarsh.

11. Jealousy is one of the common relationship problems

A fleeting pang of jealousy if your partner gives or gets too much attention from another person is acceptable. So is feeling a knot in your stomach if they succeed at something you haven’t been able to. But if jealousy establishes a stronghold, it can make your relationship toxic. Constantly checking on your partner’s whereabouts, stalking their social media, snooping around their phone and picking fights on every small issue are red flags that jealousy is getting out of hand.

Of all the problems in relationships, jealousy is one you can see in almost every dynamic. Learning how to effectively deal with it will save you from a lot of nasty arguments. Speaking of how to handle the issue of jealousy in a relationship, Geetarsh says, “You have to understand the pattern of your jealousy. A lot of the times I’ve seen that when someone is really unhappy with themselves, they feel really jealous of every person their partner talks to. In those situations, you must do something about yourself and you must work on it.

“When you think about relationship problems, you might assume that these problems are to be worked out by both the partners. However, especially in situations that are concerned with an unhealthy amount of jealousy, you must understand if the problem lies with you and make sure you work on it. Of course, if your partner consistently crosses boundaries to make you feel jealous, having a productive conversation about it with them is a must.”

12. Being a helicopter partner

You must have heard of helicopter parents. But did you know it is possible to be a helicopter partner too? The two aren’t very different from one another, except here you are overly attached and involved in a romantic partner’s life. Of all the common issues in relationships, being too clingy is one that can threaten the very foundation of your bond, even if things are otherwise going pretty smoothly.

While your heart may be in the right place, this can become one of the major obstacles in relationships. Stop hovering over your partner – and discourage them from doing the same – and behaving like you are Siamese twins. This is one of the top relationship problems people face. Practice valuing personal space, so that neither partner feels suffocated or becomes a control freak.

Related Reading: 13 Things To Do When Your Husband Ignores You

13. Differences in core values

While no two people can be absolutely alike, shared core family values and beliefs are integral to the success of a relationship. If your views on some of the most fundamental issues such as religion, politics, and life goals are poles apart, it can lead to early relationship problems.

Discuss these aspects before getting too emotionally invested in someone. If you don’t see eye-to-eye about most core values but still want to take the relationship forward, agree to disagree. And uphold that principle through the course of your relationship.

14. Unrealistic expectations

If you’re in a relationship, it is only natural to expect certain things from your partner. And vice versa. However, the minute you set the bar of your expectations unrealistically high, you turn a normal human tendency into one of the challenges of a relationship.

To avoid this, first and foremost, express your expectations explicitly. Don’t expect your partner to guess and deliver on your desires. Secondly, if they fail to live up to your expectations once in a while, don’t make it a bigger deal than it should be. They too are human and have their limitations, after all.

“When you get into a relationship, you must try to understand your partner’s strengths and weaknesses as well as the situations around you, and manage your expectations accordingly. Of course, it’s upsetting when your partner promises to have dinner with you on Friday night but never delivers. Make sure you take a look at their point of view as well, and not let your expectations get the better of you.

“It’s a common early relationship problem, so always make sure your expectations are realistic. Empathy will help you do just that. At the same time, it’s important to have a productive conversation and talk about the things that you can realistically expect from your partner. For example, you must talk about the chores you expect them to get to,” explains Geetarsh.

15. Addiction can be among the challenges of a relationship

Addiction to alcohol, drugs or other controlled substances is more rampant than most people think. Being in love with an addict is no walk in the park. When your partner’s entire life revolves around sourcing their next fix and getting high, it can be one of the most crippling challenges of a relationship.

Substance abuse can lead you to go through the hardest months in a relationship. The conflict between the couples can even escalate to separation on account of addiction and substance abuse. Based on the findings of research conducted by the National Library of Medicine:

• Substance abuse is one of the contributing factors to divorce, accounting for 34.6% of the total share
• In most cases, addiction (to alcohol or drugs) is often seen as the first step toward infidelity and communication problems in a relationship
• Negative behavior like resorting to domestic violence is another major concern caused by addiction

Learn about what you can do in such a situation. With help from the right resources, you and your partner can make a fresh start. Such serious relationship problems between couples must not be ignored, and need to be worked on if you wish to keep the foundation intact.

16. Being unsupportive of each other

This is one of the more normal relationship issues but one that can have a debilitating effect on your bond. When life throws you a curveball, you want and need your partner by your side. You expect them to be your biggest source of support through all the highs and lows. If that’s lacking, it can impact the entire foundation of your relationship.

Feelings of anxiety, loneliness, resentment can start budding in the absence of mutual support. In some cases, it may even seem like a common relationship problem after a baby, when one partner doesn’t pull their own weight and take responsibility for the added chores. The only way to tackle this hurdle is to have a productive conversation about it.

Related Reading: 10 Signs You Are In A Loveless Marriage

17. Drifting apart for no identifiable reason

One day, you’re a happy couple smitten with one another. Then, life happens and ten years go by in the blink of an eye. You look at each other and cannot even recognize the other person. Those much-in-love days seem like they were shared by different people in a different lifetime.

And you wonder, “How did we get here?” You can’t pin the reason but you know you have drifted apart. This is one of the common relationship problems triggered by all the other rampant issues like lack of communication, taking each other for granted, not being supportive and so on.

Geetarsh explains how people can drift apart without even realizing it. “After a point in time, people get so comfortable with each other and their routine of living together, they forget about discovering each other or adding excitement into the mix. It could be because of children, work, a lot of travel involved or other life stressors.

“When this common relationship problem rears its ugly head, the couples must understand how to spend quality time with each other. They must figure out how to keep discovering new aspects of each other’s personality, to try and instill a sense of excitement,” she advises.

18. Viewing the relationship differently is a common issue in relationships

A mismatched view of the future of a relationship or moving forward at different speeds can be one of the early relationship problems. Let’s say you have been dating six months, while one partner is already thinking about moving in together, the other is still wondering if it’s too soon to say “I love you.” While you believe that relationships take time to develop, your SO can’t hold his/her horses.

Not being in sync about where you are in your relationship can lead to insecurity, commitment issues, and of course, arguments. Unless both partners patiently explain their respective take on the pace of the relationship to each other, this can become a sore point.

19. Being excessively controlling

Controlling behavior can be described as when one partner takes it upon themselves to decide how the other should behave in the relationship. Not just that, they consider their decisions to be binding on the other person. This is also one of the key signs of toxicity in a relationship. While it cannot be dubbed as one of the normal relationship issues, it is definitely commonplace.

Geetarsh explains how to navigate a controlling partner. “It’s a conditioned problem. It stems from how a person has seen examples of love around them, and thus they practice it in a similar way. To tackle it, boundaries have to be set from day one in the relationship.

“The relationship problems between couples can be settled with effective communication but you must also know when to hold your ground and not budge. Let your partner know what’s okay and what isn’t so they understand that their controlling behavior is only going to harm the relationship.”

Related Reading: 6 Harmless Mistakes In A Relationship That Are Actually Harmful

20. Lack of responsibility on part of one partner

Seen as one of the common relationship problems during the lockdown, a lack of responsibility can often lead to the relationship feeling lop-sided. From chores to finances to making an effort in the relationship, if the entire responsibility falls on one partner, that partner will grow tired of carrying the entire weight of a relationship on their shoulders. What causes the most problems in relationships is the partners’ reluctance to steer the relationship with responsibility. 

Even though it is among the common relationship problems, it can cause severe damage to a couple’s bond if left unchecked. Don’t keep doing more than your share out of love. There will come a point when you snap. If you feel your partner isn’t rising to the occasion in making the relationship functional and healthy, voice your concerns before they settle into the pattern of letting you pick up their slack.

21. Attraction outside the relationship

Committed monogamous relationships are harder to sustain than they’re made out to be. Meeting “the one” and living happily ever after is the ideal rendition of romance that belongs in romcoms and novels. In real life, romantic partners are often susceptible to getting attracted to other people.

The risk runs high especially when your relationship settles into a monotonous rhythm. Couples who talk about these fleeting crushes or moments of sexual attraction openly are more likely to survive this inevitable issue than those who keep it a secret. Though it may seem like a bad idea to talk about it, this common relationship problem must be addressed and not swept under the rug.

Attraction outside the relationship can take up various forms – infidelity, cheating, and extra-marital affairs, all of which lead to serious relationship challenges for couples.

• A study based on the data collected from a national panel between 1980 and 1997, found that when 208 divorced people were questioned about the reason for their divorce, the most cited reason was infidelity with a share of 21.6%
• Another study highlighted the outcomes of having attraction outside the relationship as thus – “rage, lost of trust, decreased personal and sexual confidence, damaged self-esteem, fear of abandonment and surge of justification to leave the spouse.” 

22. Having the same fights again and again

One of the hurdles in overcoming relationship problems is that most couples keep having the same fights over and over again. After a while, it can start to feel like they’re moving in circles, and their relationship has stagnated. This can lead to irritability and discontentment. The same argument becomes a little more volatile every time you fight about it. To break free from this pattern, try to steer arguments toward a solution. When you arrive at one, resolve to live by it.

“When there’s a recurring fight, it may stem from a very painful episode in a relationship that’s going to require a lot of courage for one person to get over. If there’s clearly one partner who constantly ignites the recurring fight, the other must be empathetic and offer them a lot of support to help them get over it.

“However, if there is a partner who is unrealistic about their argument, they must reconsider the way they’re approaching such situations. For instance, the kind of people who only have arguments to win, or the kind of person who has recurring arguments because they’re too scared of proclaiming that they want to separate,” says Geetarsh.

23. Boredom is also one of the top relationship problems

Sometimes your relationship can feel like a space you are caged in, even though everything seems perfect on a checklist of how life ought to be. In such cases, boredom is often to blame. You follow the same routine, day after day, week after week. As the spark of love fades away, the signs of relationship problems get fanned. 

Wake up, the morning rush to get to work, return home tired, eat your dinner, watch some TV, and call it a night. Taking time off your routine to mix this up a little by trying new activities like celebrating Spouses Day or revisiting your favorite things to do together from the honeymoon phase can help.

Related Reading: 7 Signs That Gadgets Ruin Relationships With Their “Technoference”

24. Keeping score is bad for a relationship

Scorecards are an ominous thing in relationships. If you’re keeping track of every mistake, slip-up or flaw of your partner and bringing it up in fights for sake of one-upmanship – or vice versa – your relationship may be riddled with serious issues.

This tendency points to two possibilities. Either you resent your partner for who they are or you want to establish dominance by denting their self-esteem. Neither is healthy. Deal with every issue, every mistake, every fight as a standalone event. Once you’ve resolved it, leave it in the past and move on.

“When you keep a scorecard, it signifies that you’re not in a relationship, you’ve assumed that you’re in a race you must win,” says Geetarsh, “In doing so, you’re trying to prove to your partner that you have the upper hand, that you’re always right and you must be respected more than they are. This common relationship problem only leads to toxicity and must be avoided.”

25. Infidelity is also common relationship problems

Coming to one of the most detrimental yet common relationship problems. Statistics suggest that at least one incident of infidelity in relationships is recorded in 40% of unmarried and 25% of married couples in the US. It is also the cause behind up to 40% of all divorces. Not only are most modern relationships susceptible to the risk of infidelity, but these transgressions can also cause irreparable harm.

Working on your relationship every single day, trying to keep that connection alive, is one way to negate this risk. If it does come to pass, you have to choose between leaving or forgiving. Neither is easy. But with the right guidance and effort, you can rebuild trust in the aftermath of cheating and salvage your relationship.

Now that you know what are the most common problems in a relationship, hopefully, you can try and navigate through some of them with a bit more finesse. Some of these common relationship problems are harmless, others far more dangerous. Take little steps every day to save your relationship from blowing up in your face. If you and your partner are dealing with any of these issues and unable to handle them on your own, know that couples’ counseling can be an effective solution.

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FAQs

11 Examples Of Self-Sabotaging Behaviours That Ruin Relationships

11 Lessons People Learnt From Failed Relationships

15 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

Even the best of relationships run into problems sometimes. You’re both tired from work, or the kids are in trouble at school, or your in-laws are getting on your last nerve…you know how it goes.

Life throws all kinds of challenges at a relationship, from relocation to redundancy to illness. No wonder problems arise in even the strongest relationships.

To keep a relationship running smoothly, it is important to solve marriage problems before they snowball into bigger relationship problems.

When do relationships start to have common relationship problems?

For some, however, that phase of love eventually fades. As time passes and both parties of the relationship make their fair share of mistakes, what was once intoxicating becomes intolerable.

Much of the common relationship issues that couples face are minor and can easily be avoided with mutual effort, understanding and respect. Although bumps along the path of marriage are unavoidable, if you are aware of them beforehand, you will be able to overcome them without leading your relationship to the verge of collapse.

None of us are perfect, nor will we exactly be the same on every level.

Some character flaws, on the other hand, will be natural and acceptable. But if there are behaviors, perhaps a little lie here or an indiscretion there, it’s essential to consider that on a grander scale as the relationship progresses.

Is that an ongoing problem you want to work through continually, or does that constitute a deal-breaker? Something to consider.

10 causes of common relationship issues

What can destroy a relationship? Many of the problems couples come to me for, seem to stem from issues that either cause or intensify their problems. But once couples learn how to address these two issues, everything else seems to start falling into place also.

Check out these causes of common relationship issues or issues behind relationship problems before understanding ways to solve common relationship problems:

• Expectations

One of the fastest ways to create unhappiness and instability in a relationship is through disappointment. And very few things create disappointment as quickly as unmet expectations.

But, there are typically two common relationship problems with expectations in a relationship:

1. unrealistic expectations
2. unclear expectations

Oftentimes, couples struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they are simply unrealistic. It’s important to understand that our expectations often derive from other people, past experiences, beliefs, or internal values. But, that doesn’t change the fact that they are sometimes very toxic to our relationship. 

Alternatively, couples sometimes struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they simply don’t know what the other one expects from them or in their relationship. 

Now, maybe you are pretty certain about what YOU expect from your relationship and your partner, but that doesn’t mean that your partner can read your mind, which means they most likely have no clue what you expect. 

If you want to avoid unhappiness in your relationship, it is your responsibility to be very clear about your expectations and share those with your partner. 

If in doing so, you come to realize that some of your expectations might be slightly unrealistic, or even impossible to meet, you might want to review where that expectation comes from and what is more important – being unrealistic or being happy.

2. Communication

One of the most common relationship issues that couples face is communication. There is often either a complete absence of communication, constant miscommunication, or very poor communication. The end result is almost always frustration, unhappiness, and unmet needs. Many times the root cause of the communication issue is in “interpretation.” 

You misunderstand what the other person is saying and spend too much time and energy arguing a point your partner never intended. It’s a futile exercise. It is, therefore, essential to take the time to fully comprehend what your partner is trying to say. 

Also, if you’re the one talking, it’s important to make sure you’re communicating clearly and exactly what you mean so that your partner can understand. You need to recognize the fact that their perspective is not the same as yours.

Their experiences, points of view, and even baggage are not the same as yours. But good communication demands empathy. It’s to see the world through their eyes as much as possible and then treat them the way that you would treat yourself.

3. Unsupportive partner

Another common relationship problem occurs when a partner is unsupportive of goals and interests. When you are in a relationship, you want to treat your partner like they can be whatever they want to be. 

You want them to follow their dreams and will do anything you can to help support them along the way – and you expect the same in return!

4. Finances

One of the most common relationship problems couples will admit to are troubles in the relationship with finances. Not having enough money or not knowing how to split your financial burdens, as well as loss of jobs, a lack of money, poor money management, debt, and overspending are all common issues that can put pressure on relationships.

Discuss your finances when your relationship gets serious, and be honest about any debt you may have. Rely on one another if money gets tight and never stop communicating.

5. Cheating and other forms of infidelity

Cheating is a huge issue in relationships today. The internet has made all forms of cheating as simple as downloading an app. Sexting, emotional affairs, porn, sneaking around, and physical relationships with someone other than your romantic partner are all huge issues that damage relationships, sometimes irreversibly.

Infidelity is a hard subject to broach with your romantic partner, but it is in the best interest of your relationship to let your partner know when you are emotionally or physically checking out. You owe it to yourself to give your relationship another shot. Get your issues out in the open either with date nights or regular honest communication or seek couples counseling to help mend your relationship.

6. Not enough time spent alone

Some of the common relationship problems involve not spending enough time alone together. This is especially true for couples who have children. Between work and family obligations, you sometimes feel more like roommates than romantic partners. This is because you have stopped ‘dating’ one another. Such circumstances can make a romantic partner feel unappreciated, unattractive, and emotionally frustrated.

Call up your favorite babysitter and establish a child-free date night once a week with your spouse. This allows you to reconnect as a couple instead of as parents. Go on dates and treat one another like you’re still trying to woo each other.

7. Boredom

Boredom is a common problem in long-term relationships. Being with the same person for many years can seem to take the ‘spark’ out of your union. You may also feel you have outgrown one another. Don’t despair or give up. 

You can reverse this feeling by looking for new ways to connect with your partner. Look for new things to do together such as travel or take up a hobby. This will help you bond over something fun and exciting.

8. Sexual intimacy

As the years go by and your relationship becomes seasoned, there will likely be a point where your sexual flame will dim. There could be a multitude of reasons as to why you or your partners in sex has dwindled, but no matter what the cause is, this decrease in sexual intimacy tends to cause common relationship issues.

In order to avoid such problems, there are a few important things that you should consider:

• As you spend more and more time with someone, the act of sex becomes predictable. In most cases, the more predictable the sex, the less fun it is to have. Think about your favorite movie for a second. When you first saw it, you were enthralled. You watched it over and over again, enjoying every viewing. 

But after 10, 20, or 30 times seeing the same plotline play out, you only pulled it out for special occasions. Your sex life is just like that favorite movie. So, spice things up. Your favorite movie’s plotline is set in stone. The plotline between you and your spouse’s sexual experience can be changed any time you want it to. 

Get creative, get ambitious, and understand that it’s not the other person’s fault. It’s just that, although you enjoy having sex, it’s just the same thing over and over again. Try something new today.

• Your expectations for your sex life may be a bit unrealistic. As your sex life loses steam, you likely are replacing more love and appreciation in the void left behind. Instead of harping on the lack of sex you’re having, take a moment and be grateful for the person you get to lay your head down next to.

9. The anger habit

The anger habit soon gets ingrained, and before you know it, you’re spending a large chunk of time fighting with your partner.

Think about it – if someone is angry and shouting at you, how likely are you to listen carefully and look for a solution?

Most people, understandably, react to anger with either anger or fear.

10. Not consulting each other

Let your partner know that they are a priority to you by consulting them before you make decisions.

Big decisions like whether to take a new job or move to a new city are obvious life choices that should be discussed with your spouse.

But don’t forget to include them in smaller decisions such as who picks up the kids tonight, making plans with friends for the weekend, or whether you eat dinner together or grab something for yourself.

10 signs of relationship problems that hurt the most

All relationships have their highs and lows, even the happiest of ones. There is no escaping them, and if not dealt with accurately, they can lead your relationships towards absolute chaos and destruction.

Here are 10 signs your relationship is having problems:

• You both spend less amount of time together
• There is minimal communication
• You both are critical of each other
• One partner indicates that the relationship is not going well
• Differences of opinions are criticized than worked upon
• You both are always defensive in front of each other
• You both have stopped discussing long-term plans
• You set other priorities over your relationship
• Maintaining the relationship feels like a duty
• You are happier when they are not around and vice versa

30 relationship problems and solutions

Now, how to solve relationship issues?  

Common relationship issues are not hard to solve; all you need for that is a strong will to work on your relationship issues, and love, of course.

Here are some common marriage problems and the solutions for how to resolve your relationship problems that you should know about.

When wondering about how to solve relationship problems, it can be useful to read first and then bring the conversation up about how to handle relationship problems with your partner.

1. Lack of trust

Lack of trust is a major problem in any relationship.

Lack of trust isn’t always related to infidelity – it can rear its head any time. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner or wondering if they’re truthful with you, it’s time to tackle your trust issues together.

Relationship problems will keep mushrooming when there is a dearth of trust in a relationship.

Solution: 

Be consistent and trustworthy. Each of you should make an effort to be where you say you’re going to be and do what you say you’re going to do. This is one of the best solutions to marriage problems.

Call when you say you’ll call. Never lie to your partner. Showing empathy and respect for your partner’s feelings also helps to build trust.

2. Overwhelm

When life gets too much, you get overwhelmed. Maybe you’re in the midst of going after a promotion at work. Maybe they’re dealing with a troubled teenage son or daughter.

Whatever the reason, your relationship soon takes a back seat. Then relationship problems keep building up.

Solution: 

Talk to each other about what’s happening, and about what kind of support each of you needs.  Lean on each other instead of getting so caught up in other issues that they drive a wedge between you. 

Figure out together a time that will be just for you two.

3. Poor communication

Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, fights, and frustration. It also leads to one or both of you feeling unheard and invalidated and can quickly build into resentment and other common relationship issues.

Solution:

Communication is a skill like any other, and learning it can make all the difference to your relationship. Learn how to listen without judging or interrupting, and how to get your point across without attacking.

Communicate with each other as friends, not combatants. Figure out what your communication style is and how compatible it is with your partner.

Work your way towards the solution by understanding what communication style would work better for both of you.

Also watch:

4. Not prioritizing each other

It’s so easy to take your partner for granted, especially when you have a lot of things going on. Before you know it, the only time you get together is over a hurried family dinner or while trying to get out the door in the morning.

Solution: 

Make time for each other every single day. No matter how busy you are, carve out fifteen or thirty minutes; that’s just for the two of you to talk and spend quiet time together.

Text regularly throughout the day. Add in a weekly date night to make sure your partner knows they’re your priority.

5. Money stress

Money is a leading cause of stress in relationships.  Maybe there’s not enough. Or maybe there is enough, but they spend it while you prefer to save. Perhaps you feel they’re too tight with the purse strings.

Whatever the issue, money can quickly cause problems.

Solution:

One of the tips to fix old relationship issues regarding finances is to put those good communication skills to work here and have a serious talk about money. Figure out a budget that you both agree on and stick to it.

Work out a financial plan for your future and take steps towards it together. Make crystal clear agreements and keep them.

6. Changing priorities

We all change as we move through life. Maybe you were both ambitious once, but now you’d rather live a quiet life. Perhaps your partner is no longer enthusiastic about your shared dream of buying a house by the sea.

Changing priorities can cause a lot of conflicts.

Solution: 

Look for what you both still have in common while allowing your partner to change and grow. Embrace who they are now instead of pining for the past.

If you have different priorities about major lifestyle issues, look for common ground, and compromise that you are both happy with.

7. Chore wars

It’s easy to lose your temper when it feels like you’re the one taking out the trash for the hundredth time in a row, or you get home from overtime to find the house is a tip. Chore wars are a leading cause of conflict in relationships.

Solution: 

Agree together on who is responsible for what, and stick to it—factor in a little flexibility for when one of you is much busier than usual.

If you both have different ideas of what constitutes a neat home, it might be time for a little compromise.

8. Different intimacy needs

Problems with your sex life are stressful and can have a big impact on your relationship. If one of you isn’t happy or you’re finding you have widely different intimacy needs, it’s time for a serious talk.

Solution: 

Carve out time for intimacy. Arrange for someone else to take the kids once a week, or make the most of any time you have alone at home together.

Sex keeps you feeling physically and emotionally close, so make sure you are both happy with your sex life.

9. Lack of appreciation

It doesn’t come as a surprise to you that bad bosses compel good workers to quit? Up to 75% quit their job not because of the position itself, but because of their boss who never expressed appreciation.

Being taken for granted is one of the fundamental reasons for breakups.

Solution:

Appreciation is what keeps us motivated and committed, both in our work and our relationships.

Remembering to compliment or notice the things our partner shows, we are grateful and increases the overall satisfaction with the relationship. Saying thank you goes a long way.

10. Children

Having kids is a blessing, but it requires a lot of dedication and effort. This can cause a strain on the relationship when partners disagree on the way they want to raise children, address problems that occur, and spend family time.

Solution: 

Talk to your partner about why they think something should be done differently and share your reasoning. Often, we are repeating or trying to avoid patterns we were raised by.

Get together and spend some time understanding where the need to do things a certain way is coming from. When you understand, you can change and create a new way to parent that works for your family.

11. Overinvolvement

When we find the person, we love we want to share everything with them and to have them do the same. However, this can lead to feelings of losing one’s individuality, feeling of freedom, and a sense of accomplishment.

Solution: 

What does it take for you to be your own person while being their partner? Think of areas that you want to keep to yourself that give you a feeling of achievement and freedom.

It might be a hobby or doing sports. Talk to your partner so they don’t feel rejected by this new change and introduce it gradually.

12. Infidelity

What each of us defines as infidelity and where we draw the line can differ. Infidelity means various things to different people. Infidelity can encompass, besides the sexual act, flirting, sexting or kissing.

When infidelity has occurred, trust is broken, and a person can feel betrayed. This can snowball into many other issues and problems.

Solution: 

Talking about what infidelity is for you and your partner is important. They may hurt you inadvertently because, for example, they don’t find flirting a problem.

When something has already occurred, there is a choice to be made. A couple can try to regain trust and rebuild or end the relationship. In case the first one is chosen, seeking professional help can be a wise decision.

Figuring out marriage challenges and solutions and learning how to work out relationship problems is much more productive with counseling.

13. Significant differences

When there is a critical difference in core values, the way partners approach life, and challenges, issues are bound to happen.

For example, it might be that they are more spontaneous or hedonistic, while you plan more and save rather than spend. Nonetheless, if your views and expectations from life differ considerably, you are bound to argue.

Solution: 

When there are core dissimilarities between you, you might wonder if you are suited for each other. The answer is – it depends. What kind of change would you both need to undertake for this relationship to survive?

Are you willing you make that change, and how much will it “cost” you? If you decide you can and want to change, by all means, give it a go. This is the only way you will know if the change is enough for this relationship to succeed.

14. Jealousy

You might be in a happy relationship for a long time before noticing the first signs of jealousy. They might act fine at first but slowly change.

They start asking for your whereabouts, distrusting you, checking up on you, distancing or stifling you, and demonstrating concern about your affection towards them.

Often this behavior is a reflection of previous experiences that were triggered by something that happened in the current relationship.

Solution: 

Both partners need to make an effort. If your partner is jealous, try to be transparent, predictable, honest, and share. Give them time to get to know you and trust you.

However, for this to be solved, they need to make a separate effort to change their anticipations and work out their concerns. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy, and this line needs to be redrawn.

15. Unrealistic expectations

If you are human, you have unrealistic expectations; no one is free of them. Nowadays, we might expect our partner to play many major roles: the best friend, trusted companion, business partner, lover, etc.

We might expect our partner to know what we want without saying it, advocate fairness at all times, or strive to change the other into what you desire them to be.

This can lead to misunderstandings, repeated quarrels, and misfortune.

Solution: 

If you want to solve a problem, you need to comprehend it first. Ask yourself – what is it that you feel entitled to? If you could wave a magic wand and change things, how would the new, pink reality look like?

What are you doing at the moment that you feel could get you there?

When you grasp what you are expecting to happen, but reality and your partner are depriving you of it, you can start to look for ways to ask differently or ask for different wishes.

16. Growing apart

So many things on the task list, and there is only one of you. How long ago did you stop including things to do with your partner on that list? Drifting apart happens bit by bit, and we don’t notice.

You might wake up one morning and realize you can’t remember the last time you had sex, a date, or a conversation that is more than organizational.

Solution: 

A relationship is like a flower, and it can not blossom without nourishment. When you notice the signs, it is time to act. It will take time to cross the distance that has been created, but it is possible.

Prioritize your time together, bring back old habits and activities you did together, laugh, and take time to reconnect.

17. Lack of support

When life hits us hard, we cope with it the best we know. However, often our coping skills are not enough, and we need support. Lack of support from a partner can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed.

Long-lasting lack of support also affects the way we value the relationship we are in, and satisfaction drops significantly.

Solution: 

If you don’t ask, the answer is certainly “no.” Talking about what we need and what we can provide can clear the air of unrealistic expectations.

Unspoken and unfulfilled needs lead to negative beliefs about the relationship.

Understanding what our partner can provide helps adjust what we come to them for and look for alternative sources of support while our partner works on becoming one of the main pillars of encouragement and comfort again.

18. Addiction

Substance addiction can put a serious strain on a relationship.

Partner’s addiction can cause a significant effect on the family budget, cause many arguments, increase trust issues, cause ignorance and neglect of children and other family members, and impair overall relationship happiness.

Solution:

Couple problems can be worked out with couples therapy. Counseling can be enormously helpful as it helps both partners deal with the issues arising simultaneously.

Understanding what triggers prompt addiction and building new habits as a couple promotes healthier ways of addressing problems. Individual therapy is recommended as well for both partners.

It can help understand the roots and patterns leading to addiction, and provide support to the non-addicted partner.

19. Moving at different speeds

Do you find yourself in a current relationship uncomfortable with the speed the relationship is progressing?

You might find your new partner moving more rapidly, wanting to spend more time together, constantly calling or texting, wanting to go away together, or you meeting their family?

Alternatively, you could be in a relationship that is not progressing the way you hoped it would, and the milestones you desired are not being reached.

When you and your partner need different speeds and intensities of intimacy and commitment, you may argue.

This can lead to becoming terribly upset over seemingly little things, pulling away, and questioning whether this person is for you.

Solution:

Don’t sweep things under the rug rather address what is happening. Avoiding problems is not the best relationship solution.

What kind of reassurance or demonstration of love would bring you back on the same level? How are your needs different, and what can each of you do to find the middle ground?

20. Lack of responsibility

When one of the partners avoids taking responsibility, it can cause severe damage to the partnership. Money struggles, child neglect, fighting over chores, or playing the blame game can happen daily.

One of the most detrimental factors to the relationship is a significantly uneven distribution of responsibility amongst partners.

Solution:

When addressing this issue, the first thing to do is to stop the blaming game. If change is to occur, you need to look forward, not backward. If the change is to be long-lasting, it needs to happen gradually.

Overwhelming a partner to make up for all this time of dodging responsibilities will just prove they were right to steer clear of them.

Give forgiving a shot as it has been linked to relationship success. Also, agree on the pace of change and the first things to share accountability for.

21. Controlling behavior

Controlling behavior happens when one of the partners expects the other to behave in certain ways, even at the expense of the wellbeing of the other partner.

This kind of toxic behavior deprives the other partner’s freedom, confidence, and a sense of self-worth.

Solution:

Controlling behavior is a learned pattern of behavior from primary family or previous relationships.

At one point in life, this was beneficial for the controlling partner, and they need to learn to express affection differently. Speak up, set boundaries and adhere to them, and, if possible, try couples counseling.

22. Boredom

All relationships undergo periods of fun and boredom. However, when the feeling of monotony and apathy color, most of the days, it is time to react.

Allowing to fall into a daily routine and go with the flow can lead to decreased libido and overall satisfaction with the relationship.

Solution:

Think back to the honeymoon phase and recall the things you did as a newly formed couple. What is available from that list today, and what do you still feel you could enjoy?

Make a conscious decision to add spontaneity into the relationship to start the upward spiral to a more eventful relationship.

23. Outside Influences

All couples are exposed to outside influences and opinions on how things should be done.

Some influences are benign, like grandparents’ occasional babysitting, while others can be detrimental, like disapproval of one spouse by the family or friends of the other.

Solution:

Your relationship comes first, and everyone else’s opinion is secondary. Show each other support and that you are a united front against the world.

To resist the influence, you can limit the amount of time spent with or personal information you share with the family members or friends trying to impact you.

Marital problems and solutions may appear quite similar on the outside, but no one knows better than you what you need to make it work.

24. Ineffective argument

Arguments are a part of every relationship. However, the way fights are led, and what is their outcome can have a big impact on the relationship.

Disagreement can be helpful or destructive, depending on what you do with them. Having the same fight over and over, losing your temper, or saying things you regret later is bound to make you feel it’s not worth it.

Solution:

After an argument, you should feel you have made progress in understanding where your partner is coming from.

A good fight is one after which you have agreed on what can be the first step both will take to resolve the issue. Start by listening to hear the other side, not only by waiting for your turn.

Research together ways to fight better and only ever focus on the next step needed to take.

25. Keeping a scoreboard

When you keep blaming and recalling mistakes each of you has made, you are keeping a virtual scoreboard of each other’s faults. If being right is more important than being with the other person, the relationship is doomed.

This leads up to a build-up of guilt, anger, and bitterness and doesn’t solve any problems.

Solution: 

Deal with each problem separately unless they are legitimately connected. Focus on the problem at hand and speak your mind. Don’t let it build up and mention it months later.

Decide if you want to save the relationship and if you do, learn to accept the past as is and start focusing on where to go from here.

26. Life gets in the way

In a relationship, it’s usually the priority to nurture and develop the connection. When life is a persistent inconvenience, it means one or both of you were not necessarily ready to get involved, and that can happen. 

Solution:

Unexpected encounters with another person occur all the time. But when they do, it’s essential to allow it to flourish- placing it first over the chaos.

When the two of you notice you put the union on the back burner, it’s time to make a conscious effort with reprioritizing the other person regardless of your day-to-day situation to battle the new relationship struggles.

27. Trust is critical from the very beginning

Every relationship has problems, but when you first connect, you don’t want to go in with the idea that you can’t trust the other person. If this is baggage from a past relationship, that’s unfair and self-defeating for any new partnership. 

Solution:

If your new partner made a promise and then lied to get out of it, that will create mistrust early on. That’s tough to get back. In an effort to do so, one piece of advice on relationship problems is that there needs to be much transparency and commitment in keeping your word moving forward.

Related Reading: Breaking Promises in a Relationship – How to Deal With It

28. You can readjust goals at a moment’s notice

Perhaps in the first few weeks of dating, your life goals appear to be similar, but a profound life circumstance changes your perspective on where you see yourself in the future or maybe your mate’s.

Solution:

The change is not in keeping with what the two of you discussed. In this situation, you can find a way to get your partner to see things from your point of view, or the partnership won’t be possible.

These are the kinds of issues in relationships that are difficult to overcome. Often differences in life goals are deal-breakers.

29. A kind word here or there

New relationship problems can include a lack of manners in numerous ways. Pleasantries like telling someone they look nice or saying thank you, or expressing how much you appreciate something they’ve done wane after a few dates. 

Solution:

It shouldn’t—unfortunately, comfortability and taking a partner for granted set in quickly. If you notice this early on, say something, but also make sure to lead by example. Be the first to tell your mate these things often.

Related Reading: 20 Most Common Marriage Problems Faced by Married Couples

30. Notice continued bad behaviors with a new relationship

You’ll know you have early relationship problems if your mate is continuously on their phone when you’re together. That’s incredibly rude behavior for anyone when they’re with other people for any reason, let alone being on a date or in the early stages of a partnership. 

Solution:

The focus should be on time spent with each other since free time is precious with the world’s hectic pace. When this happens at the start of a partnership, it won’t get better with time. It needs to be addressed and stopped to strengthen your union ultimately.

Takeaway

Relationships are marathons

Most relationship problems and ways of fixing relationship problems would be something that you must have heard about or experienced; still, when it comes to utilizing this common knowledge, not everyone is thorough with the implementation.

It’s not difficult to answer “how to solve marriage problems,” and there is plenty of advice on relationship issues and solutions.

However, when it comes to solving marriage issues and relationship issues advice, everything boils down to effort and implementation.

These common problems in relationships are not completely avoidable, and every couple runs into some of them at one point.

The good news is, working on relationship problems can produce a considerable difference and get your relationship back on track, free from all relationship difficulties.

Be creative, don’t give up on each other, and you will reach the solution.

Love is a wonderful feeling that everyone must experience in life. Love gives a person happiness, freedom, harmony. The problem of love and relationships is relevant at all times, because lovers existed, exist and will exist until the end of centuries. The problem of love is well covered in the literature. Let’s recall Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin”.

We see how badly people sometimes make mistakes in the choice of life guides and values. Eugene Onegi – the protagonist of the novel, at first did not notice and did not want to notice the love of a village girl and preferred to pass by his happiness. After a few years, when he returns to the village, falls in love and realizes that here she is, his true love, the girl is already getting married. The happiness of the heroes, unfortunately is no longer possible. Also, in the novel by Mikhail Yurievich Lermontov “Hero of Our Time” we see how lightly Pechorin treats love,

how boldly and quickly he changes his beloved. As a result, he does not find his own happiness, due to a frivolous attitude towards him. In the novel IA Goncharov and Oblomov, the theme of love also has a place.

Oblomov Ilya Ilyich – the main character, lived a boring, monotonous life and did not strive for happiness and self-improvement. But the appearance in his life of Olga Ilyinskaya radically changed his worldview and desires. Olga was so energetic and strong a woman that she tried to “wrest” Oblomov from this dull and gloomy life with all her might. But, unfortunately, the essence of Oblomov prevailed and he, not wanting to change his boring lifestyle to a better one, loses both love and true happiness. Love can change a person at the root.

This is confirmed by the novel “Fathers and Sons” by IS Turgenev, namely the relationship between Anna Odintsova and Yevgeny Bazarov. Eugene is a nihilist, he denies everything: the beauty of nature, and art, and love. But the meeting with Anna Odintsova forced him to change his worldview. The hero realized that his beliefs were wrong,

that love is the most beautiful feeling. But, unfortunately, when the awareness came to Eugene, he was already dying.

We see that even a severe nihilist the beauty and love of a beautiful woman can change and transform into a loving person. Love is a great, strong and powerful feeling. In the novel-epic of Leo Tolstoy “War and Peace” we find this proof. This great feeling can change a person, make him think differently, believe in a better future. Let us recall Prince Bolkonsky, who, after the death of his wife, wounded and numerous discussions about the meaning of life, decided that he would never be happy again, because he did not have time to apologize to his wife. It would seem, it is, this person will not be really happy, but no. Meeting with Natasha Rostova – a sincere, clean and peaceful girl, made Andrei Bolkonsky look at the world differently.

Love is a great power, has given Bolkonsky confidence in the future, a state of happiness. Love pushes a person to brave deeds, it changes our life, our worldview, our soul. A lot of different works make us think about the importance of love and human life.