Word of advice funny

It also includes thank you quotes for lawyers for those who have benefited from their services and wish to find the right words to show appreciation. The best lawyer quotes.

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Inherently funny is a free searchable database of inherently funny advice words sayings phrases people animals and other things.

Funny words of advice quotes. There is nothing like humor and laughter to take you right out of the mind. We ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. With so much humor in the world we ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond.

Quotes tagged as advice showing 1 30 of 2 691 what you re supposed to do when you don t like a thing is change it. Obedience loyalty and the importance of turning around three times before lying down robert benchley if you think you are too small to be effective you have never been in the dark with a mosquito betty reese life in lubbock texas taught me two things. Yes his phrase will make you chuckle but he dropped a serious piece of advice here.

See more ideas about words quotes words of wisdom. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. If you can t change it change the way you think about it.

All excellent words to live by. The people are fucked george carlin carlin was well known for his. Sadly that s the end of the good counsel on this page.

Not only does laughter reduce stress it lowers your blood pressure gives you an excellent ab workout and releases endorphins. This article contains the best lawyer quotes. Funny words of wisdom funny inspirational quotes about life funny words of wisdom and funny inspirational quotes about life spread a smile on our face while opening the doors straight to the heart.

One is that god loves you and you re. When you come to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on franklin roosevelt these funny words of wisdom from franklin roosevelt provide the perfect analogy for how to get through hard times. Funny inspirational and famous quotes about lawyers and their careers.

George carlin on planets and people the planet is fine. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Oct 11 2020 explore merridy reth s board words of wisdom clever funny quotes followed by 102 people on pinterest.

Transformative quotes of a humorous nature. What we present here is advice to avoid at all costs collected from our readers and elsewhere. A boy can learn a lot from a dog.

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As you grow up and meet different people, you are likely to get different pieces of advice, some of which are just random and downright funny. While these pieces of advice may leave you in stitches, they may also prove to be useful at some point in your life. So, you shouldn’t just dismiss them. This article outlines the 56 funny random pieces of advice that are also real.

56 Funny Random Pieces of Advice

Funny Random Pieces of Advice from Dads

1. “If you do something bad, make sure there’s someone else around to blame.”
2. “Only boring people say they’re bored.”
3. “Only chickens accomplish something by sitting on their asses.”
4. “If any guy tries to hurt you, tell him I have a gun, a shovel, and an alibi.”
5. “Don’t follow what you think is the right way; make your way to what you think is happiness.”
6. “Don’t have sex after chopping jalapenos.”
7. “If the monster comes out of the closet tonight, say hi for me then go back to sleep.”
8. “Never break two laws at the same time because that’s how you get caught.”
9. “Never date a girl who pays her rent in one’s.”
10. “Don’t buy a bikini. Instead, get a size XXXL men’s shirt. That way, men won’t notice you.”
11. “Healthy people ask for what they need and want.”
12. “Don’t talk to anybody on the train, except for your mom. Well, maybe it would be best to ignore her too.”
13. “If you can’t blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”
14. “Trust dogs. They always know who to stay away from.”
15. “Mount from both sides so the horse becomes used to change.”
16. “Treat your father-in-law like your own dad. You’ll miss him when he’s gone.”
17. “When in doubt, always ask your mother.”

Funny Random Pieces of Advice from Moms

18. “If you don’t know where your kids are in the house, turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.”
19. “If your kids suddenly start getting along and are nice to each other for no reason, be very suspicious.”
20. “Take your kids to a pumpkin patch and let them pick out any pumpkin. Then, make them carry it to the car. They’ll never want to go back there again.”
21. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious.”
22. “There will come a day when you get pooped on. Just know that it is going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
23. “Pro parenting tip: only have spaghetti on bath nights.”
24. “Avoid travel teams unless your child is a once-in-a-generation talent… and your child is not a once-in-a-generation talent.”
25. “The first time your toddler sneezes in your face, even if it is super funny when it happens, do not laugh. You will be sentencing yourself to years of purposeful in-your-face sneezes.”
26. “Never take a toddler’s word for it.”
27. “When your kids start crying, start bawling bigger and better. Soon, they will stop crying & turn their concerns to your welfare.”
28. “Is your sink full of dirty utensils? Put some clean dishes in the draining rack! Now it looks like you’re working on it.”

Funny Random Pieces of Advice from Peers

29. “Fed up with boiling water each evening? Heat 340 fl oz (10 liters), and freeze for future use.”
30. “If your tires are too old, refresh them with a marker.”
31. “No flashlight on your phone? Take a photo of the sun, and use it in the dark.”
32. “No ice for drinks? Use frozen vegetables.”
33. “If you’re too lazy to wash your cup, use a pepper.”
34. “There is never enough time in the morning. Try to combine brushing your teeth with your breakfast.”
35. “If you leave your wipers up, an officer won’t be able to leave a fine. Your money will be saved.”
36. “It’s very expensive to eat 3 times a day. Wake up later, miss breakfast, and save money.”
37. “Having a bad day? No worries! Wear sunglasses. Now you’re having a bad evening.”
38. “Eggs are good for your health. But sometimes we get fed up with them. Add some butter, chocolate, sugar, flour, and then bake. Now it’s not so boring to eat them every day.”
39. “If you can’t afford virtual reality headsets, you can close your eyes and imagine everything you want.”
40. “A 3-colored manicure isn’t so difficult if you have toothpaste.”
41. “No hair? Draw it! Or get a tattoo.”
42. “If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.”
43. “Never do a whole job when a half job will do.”
44. “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.”
45. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
46. “If it looks stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.”
47. “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘would an idiot do that?’ if they would, I do not do that thing.”
48. “If you stared at something you dropped on the ground, eventually someone will pick it up for you.”
49. “If it doesn’t have meat, it’s a snack.”
50. “Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he will believe you, but tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.”
51. “I don’t care how nice the hand soap smells, you should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your fingers.”
52. “If you ever get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise the head and say in Jesus name, Amen.”
53. “Put a teabag in your whiskey, so you can day drink without being judged.”
54. “You’ll be surprised how quickly employees at Lowe’s assist you after ignoring you for 20 minutes when you try and start a chainsaw.”
55. “Carry a fork with you. if someone tries to rob you, pull it out of your pocket and say, ‘thank you Lord for this meal I’m about to have’ and charge at them with the fork.”
56. “If you sleep until lunchtime, you can save your breakfast money.”

You will likely receive various advice as you grow older and meet new people, some of which may be very helpful and some, well, complete rubbish. There’s also another specter of advice, and that is funny advice. Call it absurd, hilarious, or a ton of bullcrap, but funny life advice is exactly what the doctor ordered. These words of wisdom could make you laugh, but they might also come in handy later on in life.

In fact, the web is full of pictures and memes with funny random advice that people simply run into going about their lives and decide that «aight, this is going on the internet.» It may be a spelling or punctuation mistake, a funny coincidence, a bit of advice that gains a whole new meaning when taken out of context, or perhaps a poster with funny advice about life or funny direction signs for the sole purpose of making those passing by have a chuckle. And well, follow the advice, obviously. Besides that, good funny advice is also a great marketing tool since people are more likely to remember and share something they found amusing!

Below, we’ve compiled a list of witty posts sharing the funniest life advice that, besides making you giggle, might come in handy at some point in your life. Liked any of these easter eggs spotted in real life? Then make sure to give them an upvote! What’s the best funny advice you have ever received? Any random life advice you heard that made you chuckle? Let us know in the comments!