-
logical1
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Jun 15, 2011
- Messages:
- 25,426
- Likes Received:
- 8,068
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
Im sure there is a word for people that dont or wont accept reality. The reality is Trump won and Hillary lost. We see those on the losing side just going nuts, marching in the streets carrying profane signs etc. It time they grow up. Since they didnt get their way they are acting like a 4 year old that didnt get a cookie just before dinner.
-
katzgar
Banned- Joined:
- Jan 12, 2013
- Messages:
- 9,361
- Likes Received:
- 1,033
- Trophy Points:
- 113
The word you’re looking for is Republican
-
Trumpees!
Not accepting your pig of a President is not denying reality. We acknowledge it but refuse to accept him as OUR President. That is called liberty.
Thinking the pig man is a straight shooter is denying reality.
Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
-
bx4
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Aug 29, 2016
- Messages:
- 12,916
- Likes Received:
- 10,410
- Trophy Points:
- 113
The word for people that don’t or won’t accept reality is «Trump».
He has demonstrated that he has no regard for facts. He says and tweets things without knowing or caring whether what he says is true or not.
-
And his supporters don’t care that he’s lying! It really is a cult.
Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
-
Sam Bellamy
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Jan 27, 2014
- Messages:
- 3,231
- Likes Received:
- 715
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Half of 18 to 30 year old’s don’t believe Trump is a legitimate President. Talk about brainwashed. I know let’s continue to fund ED. What a world.
-
logical1
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Jun 15, 2011
- Messages:
- 25,426
- Likes Received:
- 8,068
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
Trying to derail the thread by saying republicans or Trump is just plain stupid. It is not supporters of Trump marching in the streets, rioting, and burning businesses.
-
katzgar
Banned- Joined:
- Jan 12, 2013
- Messages:
- 9,361
- Likes Received:
- 1,033
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Calling people names is a great way to make your case good job
-
VietVet
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Feb 27, 2017
- Messages:
- 4,199
- Likes Received:
- 4,859
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
Of course not. They believe the huckster.
Can you really say the man is not a compulsive liar?
Where were businesses burned? See — you have lost reality.
How long are you going to cover for a con-man that is ignorant, immature, immoral, and corrupt???
Denying that he is a LOSER as a decent human being is really denying reality. -
It can reasonably be argued that the election was stolen. Had it not been for Comey’s little stunt she probably would have won.
I don’t see claims from the left of 3 million people voting illegally, or Obama tapping Trumps phones.
-
What riots? One small one at Berkeley? You don’t know what a real riot is then.
And those were anarchists, not liberals.
Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
-
Belch
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- May 4, 2015
- Messages:
- 16,275
- Likes Received:
- 4,479
- Trophy Points:
- 113
-
Quantum Nerd
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Nov 14, 2014
- Messages:
- 16,366
- Likes Received:
- 19,601
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Judging from your previous posts, I don’t think you accepted the reality of Obama having been president for 8 years. Or do I mis-remember your Obama outrage of the day posts? So what’s the word for you not accepting reality?
Speaking for myself: I accept that Trump has won and is president. That doesn’t mean I have to roll over and praise everything he is doing. It is a free country and I am free to criticize when criticism is due.
-
katzgar
Banned- Joined:
- Jan 12, 2013
- Messages:
- 9,361
- Likes Received:
- 1,033
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Careful with the facts they don’t go well around here
-
Frank
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Aug 2, 2016
- Messages:
- 7,393
- Likes Received:
- 1,348
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
I gotta go along with the people who said, «Republicans» or «Trumpers.»
«American conservatives» might be good also…although I recognize that suggestion contains two words.
Thanks for asking.
-
FreshAir
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Mar 2, 2012
- Messages:
- 139,726
- Likes Received:
- 55,472
- Trophy Points:
- 113
those that believe Trumps nonsense…. we could call them the Trumpeters
no democrat is saying Trump did not win the Presidency, but he did lose the popular vote, that is reality
as far as protesting, they have as much right as the tea party had when republicans lost the Presidency
Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
-
Papastox
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Jul 11, 2014
- Messages:
- 10,296
- Likes Received:
- 2,731
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Sorry, but that was the Obama zombies…..Libs are delusional. We had 8 excruciatingly long years of the liar Obama and now it’s your turn…
-
Lesh
Banned- Joined:
- Nov 21, 2015
- Messages:
- 42,206
- Likes Received:
- 14,115
- Trophy Points:
- 113
This is nothing but anther flame bait thread started by the OP
-
Stevew
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Nov 11, 2015
- Messages:
- 6,501
- Likes Received:
- 2,613
- Trophy Points:
- 113
That’s the word, DELUSIONAL.
Dems have been losing power since 2010 and they keep doing the same thing over and over thinking things will change for them.
.
I look forward to 2020 and yet another loss for dems.
Steve
-
navigator2
Banned- Joined:
- Nov 14, 2016
- Messages:
- 13,960
- Likes Received:
- 9,411
- Trophy Points:
- 113
Oh, we’ve accepted we’ve been victims of malware and viruses but it’s been fixed, we are rebooting.
-
katzgar
Banned- Joined:
- Jan 12, 2013
- Messages:
- 9,361
- Likes Received:
- 1,033
- Trophy Points:
- 113
your post is made up foolishness. must be in putins basement
-
What is the word for people that don’t or won’t accept reality?
The word is “tragedy.”
So many of these people who are freaking out over Trump — they make zero sense.
Nor do they know why they are even here on this planet. And that is a tragedy.But to think you can reason with them? — — — — Now that would be my fault, not theirs.
Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
-
Diablo
Well-Known Member- Joined:
- Oct 6, 2016
- Messages:
- 2,643
- Likes Received:
- 2,104
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
-
Greataxe
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Jan 20, 2011
- Messages:
- 9,400
- Likes Received:
- 1,347
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
Try:
«SnowFLAKE»«Social Justice Warrior Activist»
«Fake News Journalist»
or anyone who says things like «Not my President.»
-
Greataxe
Well-Known Member
Past Donor- Joined:
- Jan 20, 2011
- Messages:
- 9,400
- Likes Received:
- 1,347
- Trophy Points:
- 113
- Gender:
- Male
The moths are getting too close to the flames and are getting burned.
Won’t be long until the last branch of government with substantial Liberal power, the Judicial will be taken over.
Reality is, your people are losing. Your political base is shrinking and your pet demographics are not fleeing back over the border.
Share This Page
When something doesn’t go our way, it’s hard to accept. We don’t take life as it comes. We don’t accept the truth for life. But why? Why don’t we accept reality?
Whether it’s a failure in business, some criticism, or perhaps things we can’t change or control.
Maybe it’s a relationship that broke before getting started. Or it can be possible that your relationship is already broken, and you want to fix it.
There are billions of situations that make it hard to accept reality. And not for you, but for every human on this planet.
In this article, we will try to find out why it’s so hard for acceptance to take place in our life, whether it’s for personal or social reasons.
It’s a short read that means you’d get higher benefits by investing only a tiny fraction of your time. So, go till the end.
Why can’t we accept reality sometimes or every time?
Because it will change our reality.
It will change our values upon which most of our life had been relied on, until now.
It will hurt us and make us uncomfortable. Even though it is for a short period, but we can’t accept the hurting.
That’s the whole reason of ours not accepting reality or whatever is happening other than our beliefs.
People more often focus their minds and thoughts on short term experiences. And judge their long term experience, which they haven’t experienced yet, in a wrong manner.
They think that if this thing is hurting them right now, would keep hurting them forever, which is deceptive in many ways.
It further leads them to judge people, make wrong decisions, and sometimes even to suicide.
More importantly, why people don’t accept reality is because of their fear.
They think if they accept the situation, it will represent them as a fool.
Even though they know they’re wrong, their fear doesn’t let them accept it, which is more foolish than accepting reality and looking like a fool for some time.
What is acceptance, and how to bring it in our life?
Most people would say acceptance is something that allows you to accept the reality, whether it’s in your favour or not.
You have to take life as it comes. But is it really possible?
For example, a student prepared well for the exam. According to him, he performed well in the examination. But when the result came, it was not in his favour. Then how could he accept it?
I think it would be hard for him to accept it. And this is the same for everyone, everywhere.
Thus, it is not true in a complete sense that you must always accept the right of way in any given situation. But acceptance is something like that, right?
Yes, but it’s different from only accepting things you can change or you can’t.
The right or I’d day better meaning of acceptance would be no expectation. Yes, whatever happens in our life, and if we can’t accept it, it is because we expected something else.
We assume a different situation, and if it doesn’t happen, we can’t accept that.
For instance, I am going on a trip, and before even the journey has started, I have assumed many things. Like, when I reach there, I’ll do that. I’ll eat that, I’ll visit those places, and my trip would be fantastic.
But, when something different happens according to my assumption, I’ll definitely not accept that.
But, if I had expected nothing to happen on my trip in the first place, I had an empty mind that would like to fill everything that would come along.
If I had set my mind on experience, rather than expectation, I’d have enjoyed the trip no matter what it offers.
And that’s how we are going to accept reality in every situation of life.
If you’re going in a relationship and set your mind that you’re going to experience how it feels like to be in a relationship rather than seeking different expectations out of it.
You’re going to end up with a much nice experience and relationship.
Acceptance = Have No Expectation and Feel the Experience.
Acceptance only comes when we don’t set or assume any outcome before any situation has even happened. That’s the first and only reality of the power of acceptance that enables you to accept everything.
Why do we need acceptance?
To move forward in life.
If we can’t accept our present or the past, how will we survive in this world that keeps moving?
If we don’t accept our situation or mistakes, how will we learn from them and save us from future misfortune?
How we’re going to improve ourselves. Acceptance opens our eyes to see the world from a different perspective than we ever did.
How to face criticism?
The only thing you can do about criticism is not to care about them.
Don’t listen, see, or even react.
That’s how you’re going to face criticism in a much – much better way. Yet, if you do care about criticism, then keep in mind what kind of critique you’re facing.
There are two types of criticism: one is bad and another is good.
If you face a bad one, then what you need to do is, do nothing. Because if you do, then you’ll start a chain. You react, then they respond, then you react back, and it keeps going until you delete the post. If you’re talking in the sense of social media.
But when you face a good critique, that can help you improve your ability. All you have to do is, say Thank You and move forward. In this way, you’d become more generous and a better listener too.
I hope this article is helpful and can definitely solve your problem of acceptance. If you think it can help you and others, please share it as much as you can.
And if you have any views about it or anything, please share them in the comment section. If there’s any topic you want me to write about or give my opinions on. Please feel free to write them down.
Moreover, if you want to receive the latest updates from me about life and how to deal with its situation, then do subscribe to my newsletter. I’ll only disturb you when a good article comes out.
Thank you
Nathawat Brothers
Putting thoughts for everyone.
Acceptance seems to be one of the most misunderstood concepts in the whole personal development field. Still, I’m convinced that acceptance is a fundamental prerequisite to grow as a human being.
Because without accepting your current reality and yourself, real growth is almost impossible. And the reason for that is that you wouldn’t be aligned with the truth and would operate on a inaccurate basis, which can only lead to inaccurate results.
So let’s see how you can accept your current reality and align yourself with the truth of what is…
What Does Acceptance Mean?
Acceptance of reality is really saying yes to what is. It is saying yes and becoming ok with the current situation. It doesn’t mean you have to like it as it is, but you have to accept it and recognize it as it is. Denial and ignorance is not helping and would keep you away from effective change. So it also means recognizing your reality correctly. And in its essence, acceptance is alignment with truth.
Now, why is that important?
As long as you are not aligned with truth you are operating on a wrong perception of reality. That means you are in denial of how your reality is, knowingly or unknowingly. It is like trying to find a house in a city while using a map of another city. You simply can’t get to where you want to be this way.
Why is it so Hard to Accept?
This can happen faster than you might think, because denial is a defense mechanism of your mind, trying to protect you from what could be an unpleasant realization.
The obvious reason is that by living in denial you can pretent that everything is ok, which will take you into dream world where you have to come back from anyway soon or later. So you avoid negative emotions by not facing your reality. It’s easier to look away and pretent everything is fine… for awhile.
The Truth Will Set You Free
Still, only when you tell yourself the truth you are ready to make progress in your life. Yes, it may feel a little uncomfortable, but it is still the only way to go. Or telling yourself the truth will instantly be a very liberating experience. However, after a first and short emotional reaction, a new door will be opened through which you can go only then.
Also, when you are not accepting your situation, you are somehow struggling with how the present moment looks like. This means that you are fighting a fight that you can’t win. The present moment is as it is. You can only change what lays ahead, but not what lead you to the current situation.
And there are always 3 ways to accept and then change your situation:
1. Reinterpret it in your mind
2. Do something to change it
3. Leave it
After accepting your current reality, you are powerfully aligned with the truth. So accept the situation now and from there move forward!
What Acceptance is Not
Accepting your reality in this sense does not mean that you can’t change your reality. It is not helplessness. On the contrary and as said before, only if you have accepted your situation you can move past it. Now a new way, new resources and opportunities are opening up, if you want to create a different reality.
Also and very important, by accepting a situation, do not create your identity (self-image) out of this situation. In other words: if you’re accepting a reality that is not what you want, do not say to yourself: „I accept myself, I am just so-and-so.“ This is wrong because all that would do is pull you down. Instead, just realize that the current situation is as it is and then define where you want to take it. There is never an identity involved.
How to Accept Your Current Reality
I use the following 4 step process to accept and connect myself with the truth and then to start change into the direction I want:
- Take the courage and start a process of self-reflection to come to the truth of your current situation.
- Accept the truth of the situation.
- Do not judge the situation or yourself. Instead know that although it may feel unpleasant for the moment, by accepting reality as it is you are doing the right thing.
- Then define where you want the situation to change to. Maybe set it as a goal. See it as a vision of your ideal life for yourself.
I would have settled on the first M-Class planet we came across.
я бы поселилась на первой планете М- класса, которая бы нам встретилась.
Expands scope of visibility,
and Slim will go down in World human consciousness as a scientific and accepted reality.
Расширится сфера видимости,
We understand that according to international law, we are therefore an accepted reality as a State in the United Nations system.
Насколько мы понимаем, согласно международному праву, мы тем самым становимся признанной реальностью в качестве государства системы Организации Объединенных Наций.
It was important to accept reality and to work for the greater good of the Sahrawi people.
But accepting reality leads to being free of judgment as, uh, what should be or shouldn’t be.
It is precisely in order to force all regional actors to accept reality as it is that he is moving the US embassy to Jerusalem.
Именно для того, чтобы все игроки принимали реальность такой, какой она есть, он решил перенести американское посольство в Иерусалим.
In this whole situation,
Ukraine resembles an abandoned mistress who does not understand and accept reality: she was used and abandoned,
she is no longer needed.
Во всей этой ситуации Украина напоминает брошенную любовницу,
которая не понимает и не принимает реальности: ее использовали и бросили, она больше не нужна.
It is not about the behavior of some of the bishops or perhaps some people’s aspirations—
Речь идет не о поведении некоторых архиереев или, возможно, о каких-то желаниях некоторых людей, это-
The solution to the Argentine problem concerning the Falkland Islands
did not lie in arguing about history, but in accepting reality and respecting the wishes of the people.
Решение аргентинской проблемы применительно к
The speaker suggested that Argentina accept reality and show proper respect for the Charter of the United Nations,
the activities of the Special Committee, and the wishes of the people of the Falkland Islands.
деятельности Специального комитета и чаяниям народа Фолклендских островов.
I would suggest that a failure to appreciate the linkage between the embargo as it is now in place and Cuba’s failure to meet its international obligations under the
Поэтому я хотел бы заметить, что неспособность осознать связь между блокадой в ее нынешнем виде и неспособностью Кубы выполнить свои международные обязательства по Конвенции о правах человека,
The States which favoured the inclusion of the proposed item
asked only that the General Assembly should accept reality and work tirelessly to achieve the goal of reunification,
which was the one point on which both sides agreed.
Государства, выступающие за включение предложенного пункта в повестку дня,
которой согласны как одна, так и другая сторона.
The proponents graciously and democratically accepted this reality and bowed to the decision of the people’s representatives and to the force of public opinion.
Руководствуясь демократическими принципами, сторонники этого предложения благосклонно приняли эту реальность и согласились с решением народных представителей, вняв гласу общественности.
The ritual is observed, the guidance is given and accepted, but what the reality will be is not known.
That results in the political field were limited was also due to the different positions of the Balkan States on the issue of national minorities, as well as to their unwillingness to abandon certain aspirations,
dogmas and double standards, and to accept reality and the accepted international standards and behaviour in the relations between States.
Неудовлетворительные результаты в политической области также объяснялись различием в позициях балканских государств по вопросу о национальных меньшинствах, их нежеланием отказаться от некоторых устремлений,
догм и двойных стандартов, согласиться с реальностью и принятыми международными нормами и правилами поведения, на основе которых должны строиться отношения между государствами.
What comes to mind when I mention the word “acceptance?” Let’s be honest, for most of us, our first reaction is an eye roll. When we are reminded to accept reality, it normally means it is something we are unhappy with or do not want to change, so we are, understandably, reluctant.
For you, accepting may feel like caving or putting down your sword and armor and ending the fight instead of continuing to forge strongly ahead. The truth of what reality acceptance is, from a therapeutic perspective, could not be more different.
In fact, acceptance might actually be the missing factor keeping you from taking a huge leap toward recovery today.
Acceptance
As we let go of our preconceived notions of what it means to “accept,” we need a new working definition to replace it with. Marsha Linehan, the founder of the evidence-based approach, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), believes in the power of acceptance so much that it is a major tenet of her treatment.
In her treatment manual, she defines acceptance as “complete and total acceptance, from deep within, of the facts of reality,” which “involves acknowledging facts that are true and letting go of a fight with reality [1].”
Acceptance is a skill that is especially helpful when we are living a life that is not the life we want [1].
Accepting Reality is Not Approval
Linehan asserts this almost immediately after defining acceptance because it is often the first assumption we have, “so I have to just be okay with this?”
No. You can accept things as they are and still not like them.
You may not like how your family refers to food or the body, that your current disorder requires you to be hospitalized, or that you are missing out on key life experiences because you are in treatment or recovery.
Accepting these things does not mean you think they are great. It means you acknowledge they are your present reality.
Placing Demands on Reality
When we fight acceptance, we are fighting reality. We say things such as “it shouldn’t be this way,” “this is unfair,” or, “I wish ____.” The truth is, saying these things will only increase our feelings of helplessness and despair because no matter how much we assert them, nothing changes.
We are placing demands on reality and, ultimately, it does nothing for us. Reality doesn’t care what you think is fair or wish for or how you believe things should be. Reality is.
Once we accept this, we can let go of the perceived control we have to demand what we want out of the universe and reality and, instead, focus our energy on getting to work.
Consider the previous examples.
If you have family members that refer to food and bodies in an unhelpful way, then you are probably correct that it should not be that way, especially if they know your struggle. However, just asserting that won’t magically make it change.
Once we acknowledge this is how your family is, we can ask ourselves questions such as “how do I set boundaries with them considering this fact?” or “how can my team or I educate them to teach them a different way?”
The same is true with the other two examples – once you accept that you are hospitalized because of your eating disorder and that you are missing out on some experiences, you can begin to ask yourself what you want to do about it.
The Freedom of Acceptance
Acknowledging that we cannot change reality and accepting it as it is does not mean we give up. The goal of acceptance is the opposite, to “reduce suffering and increase a sense of freedom through coming to terms with the facts of one’s life.”
Focusing on what we refuse to accept about reality is wasting energy on things we cannot control. The freedom of acceptance lies in acknowledging there are things we cannot control and then committing to working within that to improvise, modify, adapt, and overcome.
Resources:
[1] Linehan, M. M., (2015). DBT skills training manual – 2nd edition. The Guilford Press.
About the Author:
Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.
As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published June 18, 2020, on EatingDisorderHope.com
Reviewed & Approved on June 18, 2020, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC
Last updated on January 29th, 2022
Have you ever found yourself in a situation when something is disturbing your life, you need to seek advice to unburden your heart and you get to hear those cliche words instead ‘accept yourself and everything would fall into the place’? Isn’t it painful? Is self-acceptance as much easy as philosophers ask it to practice every time whenever you need life advice?
Meaning Of Self-Acceptance
In simple words, self-acceptance means to accept your life, reality, all of your attributes (both positive and negative), your skills and everything about you the way it is. It teaches you to accept yourself the way you are.
According to Wikipedia, self-acceptance in psychology means one’s happiness with oneself, self-awareness of strengths and weaknesses and self-understanding of accepting them the way they are. It is also considered a necessary practice for good mental health and well-being.
In Hindi, self-acceptance meaning is आत्म स्वीकृति which also explains how you should develop self-acceptance and accept yourself happily and unconditionally.
But it is a little different from self-esteem. Self-acceptance is being honest yourself, analyzing your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them without any grudges. It is developing an attitude and courage to see your imperfections without berating yourself. While self-esteem is the confidence you gain by self-acceptance. In short, self-esteem is more like an achievement and self-acceptance also involves the process of gaining self-confidence and accepting your reality the way it is.
Why Is It So Hard To Practice Self-Acceptance?
The words like ‘accept yourself’, ‘accept your reality’ and ‘let go of what you can not control’ sounds easy but the process of following them is much more difficult. Practising self-acceptance is difficult because your pain serves as a reminder of the struggle you have gone through to become what you are today. The pieces of your broken heart don’t let you find happiness in the present particularly when you are still in a fight.
I understand this because I have also witnessed heartbreaks, rejection, losses and a prolonged disease in the past recent years that suffered me like a hell. While I often remind others to stay calm and find peace and contentment within, I know it doesn’t soothe an aching heart to receive ‘finding happiness within and accepting your reality advice in challenging circumstances.
Importance & Benefits Of Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is the key to happiness and success. You can realize its importance once you have it and know its benefits.
- Self-love and acceptance teach you how to accept yourself the way you are. It makes you courageous. When you start to accept your imperfections, you develop a different attitude towards yourself. Your perception to see the world changes and everything changes with it. Self-confidence leads you to success and happiness.
- Accepting yourself can improve your self-esteem. The confidence you gain by improving self-acceptance also improves your self-esteem.
- You will be surprised to know how self-acceptance can improve your relationship with others. It’s quite simple actually. When you are happy, you make others happy. You become more focused to build relationships.
- Self-acceptance and mental health go together. Therefore, all the gurus around the world practice to gain self-acceptance for your good mental health and well-being.
- It promotes a sense of freedom, positive mindset, self-help, self-actualization, forgiveness, self-esteem and self-worth.
Similiar articles,
- Value yourself: How I recognized my self-worth
- 40 positive things to say to yourself every day
- How to eliminate negative thoughts when it seems impossible
- Losing your peace of mind? Figure out why you are not happy
How To Practice Self-Acceptance
Undoubtedly, acceptance is necessary for happiness and bringing harmony in life. Although it’s a bitter truth, you have to learn life will impose itself upon you each time and you have to deal with its ordeals with patience. If you ever think to yourself, “I can’t tolerate this anymore,” you probably need to change the ways to deal with struggles so you can embrace your reality more easily and let go of what is outside your control.
In this article, I have compiled a list of 11 tips and ways to practice self-acceptance which I still find useful during my tough times. Practice one or more of them to change your outlook towards a situation, learn how to accept yourself unconditionally, accept your reality and find peace even at difficult times.
1. Accept Your Reality, Not The Wrong Things
This is very important. Because most people often confuse the acceptance of the current situation with the acceptance of everything bad happening to them. They just don’t fight for themselves for the sake of destiny. Because destiny is something for them that they can not change and have to accept at any cost.
If you are one of them, you have to learn when to resist and when to accept. Please note that you are not destined to accept toxic relationships, abuse, bullying, and other heinous acts. You must not accept domestic violence considering it as your reality. Address your situation “you have this war to fight against the violence” and accept this reality, not the “domestic violence”.
Also, the acceptance of your weaknesses hinders your progress. If you have certain weaknesses like low confidence or fear for something, you need to accept the fact instead, you have those weaknesses. Once you are aware of them, you can work towards turning them into your strengths.
Acceptance doesn’t mean to fall victim to a bad situation at all, rather it is the act of courage to fight for yourself, realize your weaknesses and remove them. You are a warrior and have certain wars to fight and it’s your reality. You have to stand up against the bad things happening to you, not the bad reality. Embrace the reality you are stuck in and find ways to get rid of it.
2. Begin By Developing A Positive Attitude
I am narrating two stories here to explain how a positive mind increases your power of acceptance.
Story 1: Only one month was left for Aditi’s marriage. She had planned big things for her marriage and scheduled the things accordingly. Here came a twist, just a month before her marriage, she met with an accident and was prescribed 15-days of bed rest due to her injuries. But her marriage took place on a fixed date because of a supportive family and fiance. Owing to a leg injury, she could not dance and had to cancel her other wedding plans too. On the wedding day, this was the only thing running on her mind:
“How unlucky I am, nothing ever happens as per my plans!”
Story 2: In the same accident, her office colleague, Anu, who had joined the office recently, was also injured more severely than Aditi. Anu hailed from a poor family so all the savings of her father were spent on her operation. She was also prescribed bed rest for six months. She also had nobody to take regular care of her, because she has only a father in the family who used to be ill.
But, during her bed rest, she thanked God and said,
“How lucky I am, God, Thanks for this new life! You saved me, I will start a new life now. I would apply for a new job if I couldn’t resume the old one!”
You have understood by now how a negative attitude stops you from accepting your reality. There is a famous quote, “Change your attitude, not aptitude that determines your altitude”. Therefore, develop a positive attitude, because a positive mind easily gets ready to find positive even out of a difficult situation.
3. Consider ‘Self-Acceptance’ As A Self-Development Tool
Accepting yourself is often considered a sign of weakness. Some people think self-acceptance is bad because it stops your growth. But going deeper into this, you would find, accepting any reality or situation is a matter of courage. Even if it’s a loss of your loved one, a rejection or a state of depression, the earlier you accept your situation, the sooner you can find the ways to reach a solution. You can use it as a tool for self-improvement and personal growth.
For example- if you have lost a loved one, accept your feelings. Don’t be cruel to yourself by burying down the volcano of those intense grief emotions inside your heart. Reach out to a friend, health professional or psychologist, if needed. Engage yourself in fulfilling what expectations they had from you like their dreams to see you as a more responsible or a successful person.
Similarly, if you are unhappy with your shape, channel your negative energy towards exercising rather than feeling miserable all the time. If you are being rude to yourself for the way how you look, accept your uniqueness. Always remember, you are the only one of your kind there.
4. Remember You Can Always Change Your Destiny
They say “You Become What You Believe”. If you can believe, changing destiny is at your hands, then you can change it as well.
Look, no amount of resistance or anger can change your present situation. Your denial will only hurt you and turn you into a bitter person. What makes a difference is to take steps to change your current reality and keep a fighting spirit within you even through all the pain.
When you take responsibility to write your destiny by yourself, you will see there are a lot of opportunities waiting for you. The feeling of being the owner of your destiny fills you with new confidence which helps you accept your reality eventually.
5. Listen To Your Desires, Experiences
In this step, you have to know your inner experiences, as well as, your desires. Analyze carefully, what is troubling you the most, which unfulfilled dreams or bad experiences are holding you back to accept things and enjoy your current reality.
Once you figure out they are painful, you can then at least find ways to cope with them and comfort yourself as effectively as possible.
If you are unhappy with some aspect of yourself, you would benefit from finding the solution or planning for a goal to fulfil those desires.
When you set a goal, you start putting your efforts to accomplish them. Once those efforts give you the desired results, you accept and nurture your current self.
6. Find Your Motivation In A Negative Situation
It’s a real challenge to stay in the course when life is throwing a punch at you. It’s true, without turning your focus onto your goal, your dreams will only be dreams. For their execution, you somehow have to find the motivation which keeps you encouraged even in a bad situation.
In the digital world, motivation is everywhere around you, but I read somewhere real motivation comes from within. And it’s true. A motivating video can make you feel good for the time being, but you are likely to turn negative over and again. So, find your motivation. Set a principle, a mantra, an emotion or an experience that can make you work even in pain and kill the procrastination (see).
That motivation mantra will boost your self-confidence, and keep your mind occupied with the hope for a better future. This hope becomes the biggest motivating factor to dilute the bitterness buried deep down somewhere in your heart owing to your current situation. This hope helps you accept your reality.
The one mantra that I found the most useful is if you are demotivated and dissatisfied with your situation, work with double force without worrying much about the results. Because, your situation is bound to change if you work honestly, forgetting everything else.
7. Accept Your Fears To Accept Your Reality
One of the biggest challenges we face to accept our situation is our fear of failure. Fear of failure comes from a lack of patience. So, to overcome fear, we have to develop the patience to wait for the right time. Because it is patience that determines how we look at the situation.
If you don’t have patience, your mind is not composed and a disturbed mind sees only the negative out of every situation. It is very much prone to resistance and creating turbulence.
To develop patience, you have to remind yourself every day that things take time to show results after their execution. If you are working on a goal, you have to take risks, make mistakes and fail multiple times. A big goal always demands a lot of persistence, hard work, and strong willpower.
Therefore, accept your failures and accept your reality. Accept that there are hundreds of paths, out of them, there is only one right path that will lead you to your destiny. Now, to find that right path, you must have to travel those hundred paths leaving all your fear behind.
Since finding the right path is worth your patience, don’t let this delay make you restless, impatient and fearful. Develop the patience to wait for the right time, let go of your fears and get peace of mind.
8. Don’t Let Them Judge Your Situation
Even if you have made mistakes or even blunders, never let anyone judge your situation and make you live with the guilt. Because they are only humans, and humans are to make mistakes, and this is called human nature. Leave this act of judgment up to the Universe because the Universe has its ways to return things to you.
This thought sets you free. You don’t unnecessarily compare yourself to other people. You accept that everybody’s life is different. Even if the Universe takes something from you, it forgives too. Unlike humans, it gives other opportunities as well to change your destiny.
When you realize this, you are likely to accept your reality with a light heart. Remember, you are not in any race with anyone. If you are making efforts, you will get rewards as well but at the right time, neither sooner, nor later.
Don’t allow the remarks of people to develop hatred for yourself. Avoid self-criticism by appreciating yourself every morning. You have worked hard to come this far, which is the most important thing worth celebrating yourself.
You might be interested in,
- Learn to ignore what troubles you
- No- A letter to myself
- Zip your lips to control your anger
9. Believe It’s Going To Hurt Less
When you are distressed, you don’t believe in the right things that may happen to you in your future. You perceive the world with your glasses of fear, sadness, and negativity. But here you forget a universal truth, “Change is the law of nature.”
Nothing is permanent. The situation, however worse it may look at this moment is going to change one day. It is not going to hurt you the same way as it is hurting today. Things may take time but they will change for sure. You are going to find peace, healing and everything you deserve. Just have faith.
Remember, the situation which is seeming negative today may dramatically take a positive turn tomorrow. Maybe a person to whom you had to say goodbye today, is destined to be with you after a few years, or maybe you collect the courage to let go of that person and find someone better in time to come.
If you fill your mind with this faith, it would help you find immense peace in the current reality and accept things the way they are.
10. Understand The Principle Of Karma
Try to understand the law of Karma which sets us free from any kind of worry and fear. “Karm Karo, Fal ki Chinta mat Karo” —is mentioned in Bhagavad Gita and still we forget to follow this golden principle.
This principle teaches us how we can control only our Karma, not its result. Taking steps is the most important thing and that’s the only thing in our hands. So, whatever you do, do it with utmost elegance. Leave the rest up to nature which is very efficient in doing its duty and giving you the result of your Karma.
No matter what has happened in your past, if you start adding efforts today, if you begin working for your goals today, they are going to give fruits tomorrow. That’s the definite law of the universe. And all the universal laws are eternal and true as there is no doubt that the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Following this principle of Karma soothes your anxiety and helps you accept your reality. And you can work for your future more efficiently with a conflict-free mind.
Related articles,
- Karma yoga: 5000 years old healing technique
- Daily Mantras To Keep You Happy
- X-ray of your thoughts
11. Take Self-Acceptance Test
Now, in this last step, you should take this test. It’s a self-acceptance questionnaire. It tells you how much you have become ready to accept yourself. Ask yourself these questions. Answers you already know if you have read this article carefully.
- Can I accept myself whether I win or lose?
- Do I need to prove myself to celebrate my original self?
- Are the failures going to make me lose my self-worth?
- Do my mistakes stop me from feeling good about myself?
- Am I letting them judge me because of my current situation?
- Do I seek approval to love myself?
- Am I happy with the way I look?
- Are my regrets ruining my present?
- Do my imperfections stop me love the way I look?
5 powerful Self-Acceptance Quotes
These are my favourite quotes on self-acceptance that help me to accept the reality of my life.
- “I have always been better at caring for and looking after others than I have been at caring for myself. But in these later years, I have made progress. – Carl Rogers
- “When you create yourself to make it you’re going to have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you are…or you’re gonna have to kill who you are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were.” – Jim Carrey
- “Self-Acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” – Nathaniel Branden
- “The thing that is hard, and amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen
- When we are anxious and fretting, we are less inclined to be loving or accepting of ourselves. Our inner critic or inner perfectionist demands that we get over it. Immediately. We stand in judgement of ourselves. Yet that is the very moment when we need self-acceptance the most. – Anonymous
11 Positive Affirmations For Self-Acceptance
- I’m not an evil soul when I refuse to forgive someone, this is just temporarily my way to release painful emotions.
- It’s okay to cry, it doesn’t show I am a weak person.
- I am not an astrologer who can see the future, so I won’t hate myself for making mistakes.
- Success is good but it doesn’t define my self-worth. I accept myself even if I fail.
- I can fail sometimes, my failure doesn’t make me a bad person.
- I don’t need to make excuses to accept my mistakes. I can learn from them and grow.
- It’s okay to not know everything, it’s okay to act like a fool sometimes. I am not superhuman.
- Anxiety can have gifts too. I don’t need to mask my feelings caused by anxiety.
- I may be dependent upon someone for practical things, but I don’t have to depend on others for emotional support.
- It’s okay to feel low when I am sad. I don’t have to get anxious about having anxiety episodes.
- I can blame myself for my carelessness, mistakes and silliness but without berating myself.
Books on Self-Acceptance
- What To Say When You Talk To Yourself- by Helmstetter
-
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha– by Tara Brach
Wrapping Up
Accepting yourself and your reality is indeed a daunting task in which many fail every day. But, your regrets and anger would not help you. You have to keep making efforts to find peace in your current reality.
Think about what you did to handle an unpleasant situation you went through last time. Write your thoughts on paper, listen to your experiences and learn when to resist and when to accept.
Acceptance is not something you can learn in the blink of an eye. It is a long-time effort that makes you stronger and a better person. In between, you realize how far you have come and things don’t hurt much now as they used to be. You find yourself mature enough to face any kind of situation.
I hope you found this list of ways useful to accept your reality the way it is. Do you have any different, unique, or new way that helped you accept your situation and find peace? Do share it in the comment below.
Must-read articles from TrendToFit:
- 43 Fun & Productive Things To Do At Home When Bored
- Self-care is not selfish: how to practice self-care
- Stress buster activities to reduce your stress instantly
- Meditation tips for good mental health
- 7 best Yoga poses for mental health
- How to improve yourself constantly and why you should
If you liked the article, share it with someone you care about and help them practice self-acceptance!
When you don’t like something, you have two options. One of them is to change it, the other is to accept it. However, sometimes, the second choice is the only one you have.
When you’re faced with something you don’t like, you can respond in different ways. You can complain about your bad luck, work to change it, or accept it and work with it so it isn’t always on your mind. Maybe you’ll talk about it or decide to ignore it. There’s the option to accept it into your thoughts or mentally cancel anyone who talks about it. However, at the end of the day, you need to accept reality. Thus, often, there’s no way around that.
In other words, some things in your life will continue to exist whether you like them or not. In order to keep them from negatively affecting your well-being, your only real choice is to learn to live with it. You probably have practice with this. Connecting with other human beings will always involve accepting eccentricities that you don’t necessarily enjoy.
Imperfection
On a good day, when you’re feeling generous and idealistic, you’ll consider yourself lucky for making mistakes. Without mistakes, you’ll never learn anything or move forward. You messed up yesterday, but you’ll shine today.
Sure, that sounds amazing. But how often has your forgetfulness made you angry? How many glasses end up broken on the floor due to your clumsiness? Or when you misjudge the distance and hit the car behind you. You didn’t realize that your doctor’s appointment wasn’t until next week… However, it doesn’t matter how angry this kind of situation makes you, or how much time and energy you invest in your frustration. You’ll continue to make dumb mistakes for the rest of your life. It isn’t about big life lessons learned. These are just things that happen, and you need to accept reality.
Expectations
Things rarely happen the way you imagine them in your head. No amount of preparation can make you ready for ANY unforeseen circumstances. If you made a list of all the things that could possibly happen, the last line would always be, “among others”.
It’s simply not worth it. Being overly cautious or contained in order to try and avoid a simple reality: most circumstances are unpredictable. Trying to always be prepared is an extremely heavy burden to carry. You’d be moving too slow and plodding where you’re supposed to be dynamic and changing. Human history has taught us the same thing: permanence is the exception and not the rule.
On the other hand, you can’t just throw out expectations all together, just like you can’t stop yourself from having first impressions and biases (such as the halo effect). Your expectations naturally condition different elements of your psyche, some as important as self-efficacy or your ability to control your attention.
Working with what you perceive instead of with reality
A statue isn’t ugly. A person isn’t honest or a liar. They might behave that way most of the time, but that doesn’t mean they’ll do it all the time, or that they won’t modify their behavior according to their social environment. In fact, we all do this sometimes, and that doesn’t mean we’re selfish or two-faced.
When you look at an image on the screen, two points can be closer or farther away from each other depending on how much you zoom in. You can make London and Cambridge look very close to each other, or very far away.
The advantage in terms of geography is that you and I can agree to use the same reference point, and give an absolute value, free of opinions. Transferring this method to the world of psychology has its problems. For example, imagine that London and Cambridge move constantly, so the distance between them always varies.
What would you use as a point of reference? In all likelihood, your only available point of reference would be what you see on the screen at that moment. Why? Because of how comfortable it is to work from your point of view alone, with only the information that you take in at any particular moment. In other words, you tend to work with still photos when what you’d like to have are videos with a 360-degree lens. However, this isn’t possible, and it’s just another example of the need to accept reality.
You’ll forget things, and you have to accept that
It’s on the tip of my tongue… The word I’m trying to remember is like an island. I know where it is, but I can’t find a bridge that will take me over to its beautiful beaches. The meaning, the last time I used it, the letter it starts with or ends with. I remember all of these details, but I can’t think of the word.
You recognize that face and went to school with that person waiting in line. But what was their name? They sat next to John and the math professor always called on them. Another reality you have to accept is the slightly anarchic way that your memory works.
We’ve only covered a few of the realities that you have to accept. When these things come up, they’re very frustrating. Which ones would you include in your list and why?
It might interest you…
this train of thought really helped me out in the past… i’ll tell you a little story also that i remember reading somewhere.. either in a zen teaching, or a buda teaching, im not sure where… but anyways hope it will help you (its not word for word as i dont remember specifics obviously)…
there was a horse farmer when one night, all his horses escaped cuz the wind blew the gate open.. in the morning his neighbour comes and says «you john have the WORST luck ever» and john answered «good luck, bad luck, i dont know».
the next night all the horses came back and brought with them this amazing wild horse. the next day the neighbour comes and says «you john have the BEST luck in the world» to which john answered «good luck, bad luck, i dont know»
the next day John’s son is trying to tame the wild horse, and he’s trying and he’s trying and the wild horse kicks him in the leg and breaks it.. the neighbour comes to john and says «john, you have the worst luck in the world» to which john answers «good luck, bad luck, i dont know»
the next day the army comes to town and is recruiting everybody to the army that is healthy and ofcourse dont take John’s son because of his broken leg.. etc etc etc etc…
the moral of the story is live your life because we dont know what is good luck, and what is bad… what we may want currently so badly, and think that this is your path to happiness, rethink that position because you dont know where life will take you.. if its a girl thats driving you crazy, take a step back and realize that 2 years down the line, when ur with somebody else and truely happy you will thank god that things didnt work out… fortune is a tricky thing, what is bad may be good, and what is good may be bad..
good luck and hope some of you enjoyed reading..