Word for the ability to say no

When speaking English, many non-native speakers feel insecure about saying no to people. After all, you don’t want to sound rude. Fortunately, there are polite ways to say no and impolite ways to say no (we will focus on the former). In this guide, we are going to show you how to say no politely with more than 50 different examples!

Why is it so difficult to say no?

The inability to say no is more common than you may realize. Whether you want to keep your boss happy or avoid hurting a friend’s feelings, it can be hard to say no. However, saying no isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, many Yes/No Questions simply require information. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Have you ever been to France? Answer: No, I’ve never been to France.
• Question: Do you have to work tomorrow? Answer: No, I don’t have to work tomorrow.
• Question: Were you born in September? Answer: No, I was not born in September.

In all of these situations, it’s pretty easy to say no! However, it becomes difficult to say no when people make requests or ask for your personal opinion. Let’s look at a few difficult examples:

• Question: Do you want to go on a date with me? Answer: No, I don’t want to go on a date with you.
• Question: Can you do me a favor? Answer: No, I can’t do you a favor.
• Question: Do you like my cooking? Answer: No, I don’t like your cooking.

As you can see, answering honestly and directly can sound rude. This is why it is so difficult to say no at times! You don’t want to sound mean or hurt the other person’s feelings. As a result, you may feel like you need to lie just to be polite.

Fortunately, you don’t necessarily have to lie. There are plenty of polite ways to say no without sounding like a jerk. In fact, we have more than 50 polite ways to say no in English!

In part one of this guide, we will offer 10 tips for how to say no politely. In part two, we will provide you with an additional 50 examples of polite ways to say no in English. So, let’s get started!

1. Add Thank You To Your Answer

One of the easiest ways to say no politely is to add thank you. However, you have to keep in mind that this won’t work in every situation. It only works when someone offers you something that you can either accept or refuse. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Do you want my help? Answer: No, thank you.
• Question: Do you want a slice of cake? Answer: No, thank you.
• Question: Can I give you a ride? Answer: No, thank you.

Adding thank you to your answer shows that you appreciate the offer, allowing you to say no without sounding rude.

2. Say No Without Saying No

Oftentimes, the best way to refuse an offer is to find another word to say no. This works especially well if you’re trying to figure out how to say no in business settings. Thankfully, saying no without saying no is easier than it sounds. How you word your answer will depend on the context and the question, so let’s look at a few examples:

• Question: Can you help me write this report? Answer: Unfortunately, I can’t at the moment.
• Question: Did my presentation go well? Answer: I think there was room for improvement in some areas.
• Question: Do you want to have lunch with me? Answer: Sadly, I can’t right now.

As you can see, the word “no” doesn’t appear in any of the answers. However, it is implied and softened. Using words like sadly, unfortunately, and regrettably can also help you sound more polite.

3. Say Sorry

Apologizing is a great way to show that you feel bad for saying no. Additionally, it can function as another word to say no, which automatically softens your answer. However, like thank you, saying sorry only works when someone makes an offer that you can either accept or refuse. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Can we talk? Answer: Sorry, I can’t right now.
• Question: Do you want to see a movie? Answer: I’m sorry, but I can’t today.
• Question: Do you have time to review my notes? Answer: Sorry, but I don’t.

So, if you’re worried about refusing someone’s offer, apologize first to avoid hurting their feelings!

4. Provide a Reason for Saying No

It’s easy to say “no, I can’t” or “No, thank you,” but doing this may lead to follow-up questions. People will often want to know why you’re refusing their offer. So, provide a reason for saying no. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Can you watch my dog tomorrow? Answer: Actually, no. I have to work tomorrow.
• Question: Do you have time to help me with something? Answer: Sorry, but I don’t. I’ve got a million errands to run today.
• Question: Would you mind washing the dishes? Answer: I can’t. I have a huge project due tomorrow.

Providing a reason for saying no reduces the risk of follow-up questions. It also doesn’t make it seem like you’re saying no just to be mean. You actually have an excuse!

5. Lengthen Your Answer

Giving one-word answers is often seen as rude, regardless of what you say. It makes it seem like you’re disinterested in the other person or trying to cut the conversation short. So, if you need to say no, don’t just say no and move on. Try to lengthen your answer to sound friendlier. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Do you think I deserve a promotion? Answer: I’m not sure. You do an amazing job, but there are a lot of great people trying to get the same promotion.
• Question: Will you accompany me to the meeting? Answer: No, because I have to pick up a few things from my office first. But I’ll see you there!
• Question: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Answer: No, but not because you don’t deserve it. The company is not doing very well right now, so your boss will probably say no anyway. I would just wait and ask for one at your next performance evaluation!

In the examples above, you can see that lengthening your answer gives you the opportunity to provide more details and add a friendly ending!

6. Emphasize Your Honesty

In many cases, your efforts to avoid saying no can do more harm than good. People might know that you’re avoiding telling the truth to spare their feelings. As you can imagine, the other person might be more hurt that you’re lying to them. Instead, just tell the truth and emphasize that you’re being completely honest. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Do you like what I’m wearing? Answer: Honestly, I’m not a big fan of plaid.
• Question: Is my writing good enough to get published? Answer: I want to be honest with you. I think you need to practice your craft more before getting published.
• Question: Can I borrow your car? Answer: If I can be honest with you, I really don’t feel comfortable letting other people drive my car.

Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy!

7. Answer With a Question

When you need to say no, answering a question with a question can divert attention away from your answer. It may sound like you’re avoiding the question, but it’s simply one more way to say no implicitly. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Are you worried about your presentation? Answer: Should I be worried about my presentation?
• Question: Do you want to go see a movie? Answer: Do YOU want to go see a movie?
• Question: Can you help me finish this sandwich? Answer: Do you think I need the extra calories?

This forces the other person to answer the question while also implying that you’re not interested in their offer!

8. Set Your Own Terms

When someone asks you to do something, you may just want to delay accepting. You might want to fulfill their request at a later date or in a different way. So, rather than just saying no, you can set your own terms. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Do you want to go shopping tomorrow? Answer: Actually, I can’t tomorrow. Do you want to go this weekend instead?
• Question: Can you help me with this? Answer: Not right now, but I can in a few hours.
• Question: Would you help me review my application? Answer: I’ve got a headache. Let’s review it when I’m feeling better.

When someone is making a request or asking for a favor, it’s not impolite to make a counter-offer. This way you don’t have to say no at all!

9. Replace No With Maybe

Depending on the question, it may be hard to say no without sounding impolite. So, rather than giving a definitive answer to the question, soften your answer by leaving the door open to say yes. You’re not saying yes; you’re just saying that there’s a possibility that you could say yes. Here are a few examples:

• Question: Can you give me a ride to the airport? Answer: Possibly. What time is your flight?
• Question: Can you help me move into my new apartment? Answer: Maybe. When are you moving?
• Question: Do you want to have dinner together? Answer: I’m not sure. I’m feeling a little under the weather today.

When you replace no with maybe (or a similar phrase), you usually need to request more information or provide a reason for saying maybe.

10. Use a Polite Tone

At the end of the day, your tone is just as important as the words you say. Being polite requires a tone that shows that you want to be friendly, even when you have to say no. It’s difficult to understand tone in text, but here are a few examples that allow you to sound extra friendly:

• Question: Would you let me borrow your notes? Answer: No, but only because I didn’t take good notes! I’m a little embarrassed about it…
• Question: Can you help me talk to my boss? Answer: Sorry, but I don’t think so. I’m not good in high-pressure situations!
• Question: Should I wear this to my date? Answer: No! You should wear something that complements your eyes!

As you can see, even if you have to use the word “no,” you can do so with a friendly tone!

Книга Знаний — вторая книга после Библии

»

Статьи

»

Статьи 25

»

how to say no in different languages

How to Say ‘No’ in Different Languages

Saying ‘no’ is difficult most times, but sometimes the need of the hour. This Buzzle article is a guide for you to learn how to say ‘no’ in different languages.

N.O. No. Two simple letters. One simple word. 

But why is it sometimes so difficult to say no?

For many people, saying no is packed with guilt. Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing someone. Maybe you’re anxious to turn down your boss. Or maybe you’re a people pleaser. 

No matter the reasons, learning how to say no is an important skill for your personal health and well-being. Our time and energy are precious resources that we should use wisely. And that means we can’t do everything.

Let’s explore how to say no in different situations and why declining certain requests is sometimes better than saying yes.

Why is it so hard to say no?

For some adults, the inability to say no stems from childhood. From an early age, children are taught to be polite and forthcoming. If a parent or teacher asked a child to do something, saying no was interpreted as a form of backtalk. In some cases, refusing an adult meant punishment or negative reinforcement. 

However, this can cause issues around communication and self-assertion. Being raised to believe that saying no is bad makes it difficult for children to communicate their preferences. For some people, this inability to speak up for themselves continues into adulthood.

Another reason you may find it difficult to say no is if you doubt yourself. With imposter syndrome, you feel like you are not good enough to do the role that you are in.

Because of these feelings, you avoid saying no to others. You are afraid they will think you are unable to perform your roles and responsibilities. It can also make it hard to say no to yourself. You constantly feel that you have to say yes to prove to yourself that you can actually do your job.

There is also empathy and human nature to consider. We are social creatures that rely on human connection. Because of our need to belong, we are afraid to disappoint others or create conflict.

In a study from the University of Waterloo, people were asked to carry out tasks that went against their ethics. Although they voiced their objections, half the subjects agreed to deface a library book. This was because saying no felt too difficult.

This kind of behavior shows our inherent desire to avoid conflict and keep the peace. But is it possible that our need to be liked can do us more harm than good? 

Let’s find out. 

When you should say no

If you struggle to say no, learning to identify signs of personal discomfort can help you know when to draw the line. 

These five signs indicate you need to say no for your own good.

1. If you feel uncomfortable

Nobody knows your limits better than you do. If you are asked to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be a sign that you need to say no. Take a moment to do some mindful breathing and listen to your intuition.

2. You feel guilty or obligated

In a work situation, it can be particularly difficult to say no. Your job may require you to oblige when superiors delegate tasks to you. But that doesn’t mean your time and energy are less valuable than theirs. 

Use your self-advocacy skills to step up and say no. Your decision should not be based on guilt or obligation. 

3. When you’re overloaded

If you are overloaded with work, say no to more tasks or projects. Wait until you’ve freed up some time and energy before you take on anything new.

If you are always working long hours, say no to working on the weekend. COVID-19 has drastically increased the number of employees working from home. Research shows that remote employees work longer hours and face a bigger workload than before the pandemic hit.

You may also feel especially overloaded around the holidays, as obligations from both family and work pile up. You likely need to wait until after the holiday season to take on anything new.

Keep in mind that saying no to yourself is just as important as saying no to others. Putting pressure on yourself only adds to your stress and anxiety. Make sure to prioritize your mental health and physical health to avoid burnout.

4. If the request crosses your personal boundaries

When someone asks you to do something that crosses your boundaries, it is important to stop the process in its tracks and say no. Your boundaries are worth standing up for. 

5. If you are only saying yes to please someone else

While pleasing others is a natural incentive for performing tasks, it shouldn’t be the only reason you work hard. If pleasing someone else comes at the cost of your own happiness and well-being, it isn’t worth it. 

Why it’s important to say no

Let’s go through a couple of reasons why it’s so important to say no. 

• Do less to deliver more. Focus on one thing at a time, and do it well. You can produce much higher quality work when your energy is directed into projects you enjoy.
• Saying no can benefit your performance and career. Being assertive pays off. It gives you the freedom to pursue projects that are in alignment with your professional goals. And it keeps you on track with your future career plans.
• It’s important for your mental well-being. Our mental fitness suffers when we bite off more than we can chew. To maintain mental clarity, you need to say no to tasks you know you can’t handle. 

• Prevent burnout. Burnout is becoming an increasingly big problem for modern-day employees. Working too hard for too long can cause a backlog of fatigue. This jeopardizes both mental and physical health.
• Build and maintain strong and healthy relationships. Clear boundaries and mutual respect are both indicators of a healthy relationship. You can keep the relationships in your life strong by setting boundaries and respecting others.
• Always saying yes can prevent you from achieving your personal goals. Even the most successful people know where their limitations lie. You can’t achieve your goals with minimal energy. Keep your dreams intact by taking care of your body and mind.
• Be realistic about your capabilities. Sometimes, willingness is not the issue. You may not have the right skills and abilities for what is being asked of you at work. This alone is a valid reason to decline a request.
• It’s an important part of self-care. Taking time to yourself allows for higher energy levels, more focus, and an improved state of mental health. Saying no to extra work when you know you need a break is a courageous act of self-care. 

When it comes down to it, the reason saying no is so important is because it protects our best interests. 

Whether it’s your physical health, mental health, or psychological health, saying no preserves your inner strength. It paves the way for holistic wellness. 

10 different ways to say no

In theory, most of us can grasp the concept of why saying no is so important. However, actually forming the words in real life can be scary and overwhelming.

In moments like these, it can help to have some statements prepared that you can turn to for guidance. These 10 phrases can be used as substitutes for the simple “no” next time you find yourself backed into a corner. 

You do not necessarily owe someone an explanation about why you are saying no. In fact, sometimes, simply saying no and not going into further detail can help you to come across as calmer and more decisive.

Helpful tips on how to say no

Many of us could use a helping hand when it comes to being more assertive. Learning how to say no can be a lifelong journey, but everyone has to start somewhere. 

• Practice saying no. Knowing when to say no takes time and practice. The more often you say no, the easier it will become. Practice assertiveness in all areas of your life until the habit is built into your lifestyle.
• Communicate your decision clearly. The clearer you are about saying no to someone, the better they will respond. If you are notably unsure about your decision to decline, it could be harder for others to respect your decision. Aim for clarity and simplicity. 

• Express gratitude for being asked. If someone asks you to do something and you respond with a no, a little bit of gratitude might help soften the delivery. Expressing thanks for being offered a new task will show others you care about their position, too.
• Take your time to make an informed decision. If you’re uncertain about whether you want to accept a new task, that’s okay. Take your time to consider the pros and cons, and then you can re-enter the conversation with a clear head.
• Be assertive but respectful. Not everyone who asks you to do something is trying to take advantage of you. They may just be desperate for assistance. If you can’t accept their offer, be respectful in how you communicate with them.
• Don’t beat around the bush. Providing long-winded explanations about why you can’t do something rarely makes things easier. Instead, opt for a short, simple, and straightforward approach to saying no.
• Understand the power of influencing tactics. Influencing tactics are strategies used to engineer a specific outcome. By gaining a better understanding of how influence works (particularly in the workplace), you can become a stronger and more assertive employee.
• Seek advice from others. Almost everyone can relate to the dilemma of people-pleasing. Ask your friends and family members if they have any tips. For professional advice, seek help from a mental health professional. They can give you expert guidance on how to say no the next time you feel put on the spot.

How to decide when to say no

Struggling to know if you should say no? It can help to have a mental list of questions to ask yourself when the right choice isn’t yet clear. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to make the right decision.

The next time someone asks you to do something, and you’re not sure how to respond, use these questions as a template for gaining insight.

• Do I have the time and energy to do this?

• Will saying yes add value to my life?

• What makes saying “no” important to me?

• Is someone trying to bully or gaslight me?

• Am I doing this just to please someone else?

• Am I being used?

• Does saying no to this mean I can say yes to something else more important?

• Am I saying yes just because I am afraid of missing out?

• Does something more important require my attention right now?

• Do I need time to rest and recharge?

•  What would need to change about this opportunity to make it a “yes”?

Learn how to say no so that you can say yes to well-being

We all need a little support sometimes. Especially when it comes to managing communication with others. But to be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself, you need to lay down boundaries.

Whether you’re at home or at work, knowing how to say no is a skill you can benefit from for the rest of your life. Prioritizing your needs is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. 

If you need help learning how to say no, reach out to BetterUp. We help individuals realize their potential by building their skills, mindsets, and behaviors. Request a demo to learn more.

Published January 7, 2022