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Asked by: Adrain Block
Score: 4.6/5
(12 votes)
Tips for preventing self neglect as you age.
- Stay in touch with others. …
- Get to know your neighbors.
- Make sure another person or two is aware of your health status on a regular basis.
- Schedule and go to regular medical and dental appointments.
Why do I keep neglecting myself?
Self-neglect can be a result of: a person’s brain injury, dementia or other mental disorder. obsessive compulsive disorder or hoarding disorder. physical illness which has an effect on abilities, energy levels, attention span, organisational skills or motivation.
How do you know if you are neglecting yourself?
The Problem with Neglecting Self-Care
- Low self-esteem.
- Difficulty with your relationships.
- Extreme fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Problems with personal hygiene.
- Addiction to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, or eating.
- Weight gain.
- Minor aches and pains.
What does it mean when you neglect yourself?
The term “self-neglect” covers a wide range of behaviour neglecting to care for one’s personal hygiene, health or surroundings. Examples of self-neglect include: A refusal or inability to cater for basic needs, including personal hygiene and appropriate clothing. Neglecting to seek assistance for medical issues.
Why am I finding it hard to take care of myself?
1. Negativity Bias. Knowing all that you should do to take care of yourself isn’t the same as being able to do it, and it can skew your perspective, making it hard to see what you actually are doing that’s healthy. What is called a negativity bias can be one of the most surprising potholes along the road to wellness.
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How do I start to put myself first?
Review: How to Put Yourself First
- Make a list of your priorities. Keep it short.
- Ask for help from your family and your community.
- Keep a balance between treating yourself and giving to others.
- Remember putting yourself first sometimes involves doing things that are difficult, but benefit you in the long run.
What happens if I don’t take care of myself?
The stressors of the experience may become absorbed, and we may feel overwhelmed, hopeless, and helpless. Without recognizing this impact and taking action, we risk shifts in worldview, difficulty managing emotions, decreases in cognitive ability, and developing sleep disturbances.
How do you cure self-neglect?
What families, friends, neighbors, and service providers can do to help.
- Learn what signs and symptoms to look for.
- Help the adult to reduce isolation as much as possible. …
- Stay in contact.
- Talk to the person. …
- Help the person accept help from others.
- Help the person get any services he or she may need.
How can I improve self-care?
Some tips for self-care include:
- Live Healthy, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and avoid drugs and alcohol. …
- Practice good hygiene. …
- See friends to build your sense of belonging. …
- Try to do something you enjoy every day.
How do I know if I need self-care?
You know the signs that you need to take better care of yourself when:
- You feel mentally or physically exhausted, overwhelmed or stretched too thin.
- Friends and family tell you you’re working too hard, or have to remind you to take a break.
- You’ve worked 70- or 80-hour weeks.
Do I self neglect?
Indicators of self neglect:
Unkempt appearance. Lack of essential food, clothing or shelter. Malnutrition and/or dehydration. Living in squalid or unsanitary conditions.
How can I mentally work on myself?
How to look after your mental health
- Talk about your feelings. Talking about your feelings can help you stay in good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled. …
- Keep active. …
- Eat well. …
- Drink sensibly. …
- Keep in touch. …
- Ask for help. …
- Take a break. …
- Do something you’re good at.
How do you do self care during Covid 19?
Exercise every day. Take deep breaths and stretch often. Avoid risky or destructive behaviors, such as abusing alcohol or drugs, excessive gambling or ignoring public health recommendations. Spend time outside, such as going for a walk in the park, but follow social distancing guidelines.
How can I practice self love?
13 Steps to Achieving Total Self-Love
- Stop comparing yourself to others. …
- Don’t worry about others’ opinions. …
- Allow yourself to make mistakes. …
- Remember your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks. …
- Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people. …
- Process your fears. …
- Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself.
What is a word for not caring about yourself?
Synonyms: egocentric, egoistic, egoistical, self-centered, self-centred. limited to or caring only about yourself and your own needs. inconsiderate. lacking regard for the rights or feelings of others. stingy, ungenerous.
Is it bad to not care about yourself?
Don’t neglect yourself and your health to avoid feeling selfish. Selfishness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be good to be a little selfish to take care of your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Many people who focus entirely on give, give, give end up overwhelmed, fatigued, and stressed.
How do I make myself not feel guilty first?
5 Ways to Drop the Guilt of Putting Yourself First
- Learn more about the importance of self-care. …
- Give yourself permission to focus on yourself. …
- Remind yourself that the people you love and care about the most love you, too. …
- Learn how to say “no” to demands on your time. …
- Brainstorm quick ways to take care of yourself.
How can I be selfish?
How to Be Selfish
- Recognize that you don’t give enough thought to yourself and your needs. …
- Clear a space in time just for you. …
- Assess your needs and desires right now. …
- Think about how you can fulfill those needs. …
- Don’t look for validation. …
- Don’t embrace the guilt. …
- Practice.
When is it OK to put yourself first?
It’s okay to put yourself first. And it’s not something you need to feel guilty about. Thinking about your own mental wellbeing before others is something a lot of people find hard to do. But living your life to please other people can have a major impact on your mental health.
What should I do during Covid?
Get moving with these low-risk outdoor activities during the COVID-19 pandemic:
- Walking, running and hiking.
- Rollerblading and biking.
- Fishing and hunting.
- Golfing.
- Rock or ice climbing.
- Kayaking, canoeing, diving, boating or sailing.
- Skiing, including cross-country and downhill skiing.
- Ice skating.
What do you do with free time on Covid?
30 Creative Ways to Spend Your Newfound Free Time:
- Write your best friend a postcard (people LOVE mail).
- Schedule a Skype or FaceTime session with your friends and family so you know when you’ll next “see” them.
- Have a movie marathon. …
- Do crafts — string beads into a bracelet, try knitting or try painting by numbers.
How do you relax with Covid?
A 2016 study found that walking can make you happier and reduce feelings of boredom and dread, even if you’re just walking indoors. (Walking outside and staying at least six feet from other people is safe during the COVID-19 pandemic, FYI.)
How can I train my mind to be strong?
5 Ways to Make Yourself Mentally Stronger This Year
- Practice labeling your emotions.
- Establish healthy ways to deal with uncomfortable emotions.
- Identify and replace unhealthy thought patterns.
- Take positive action.
- Give up the bad habits that rob you of mental muscle.
- Become Your Strongest Self.
What foods are good for mental health?
10 Foods that Boost Mental Health
- Salmon. While fish, in general, is a healthy choice, salmon is at the top of the list. …
- Chicken. Chicken, like turkey, is a delicious lean-protein choice containing the amino acid tryptophan. …
- Whole Grains. …
- Avocados. …
- Spinach. …
- Yogurt. …
- Nuts. …
- Olive Oil.
How can I improve physically and mentally?
- Being physically active. Exercise can reduce feelings of stress and depression and improve your mood.
- Getting enough sleep. Sleep affects your mood. …
- Healthy eating. Good nutrition will help you feel better physically but could also improve your mood and decrease anxiety and stress.
I was trying to convey my opinion about a person I knew, when I faced this question. I had to describe a person who cared only about himself: his personal well-being, wealth, luxury, happiness are his only priorities in life. He does not really care for his family members, or spare some time or thought to alleviate their problems.
What adjective is best suited to describe such a person? My instantaneous choice was along the lines of self-important or egotistic, but these adjectives intend “thinking highly of oneself ”, which is not what I meant.
Nouns describing such a person are also welcome. I am looking for a word as little disparaging as possible.
tchrist♦
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asked Apr 24, 2012 at 13:07
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How about «selfish» or «self-centered.»
Laurel♦
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answered Apr 24, 2012 at 13:09
dj18dj18
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A narcissist:
A person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
The adjective would be narcissistic.
Laurel♦
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answered Apr 24, 2012 at 14:06
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Self-absorbed comes to mind. It is defined as: Excessively self-involved.
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 13:11
JLGJLG
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You can call such a person egocentric:
thinking only about yourself and not about what other people need or want
Laurel♦
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answered Apr 24, 2012 at 13:16
Self-serving is another word that roughly means «only caring about oneself,» as the formal definition for self-serving is «asborbed with oneself.»
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 15:05
Nick AndereggNick Anderegg
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There’s nothing wrong with egoist, or egoistic, for that matter. It fits just fine — yes, it implies that a person has a very high self-esteem, too, but primarily it denotes a person whose actions are governed by self-interest. Such a person doesn’t give much thought to others. EGOIST / EGOCENTRIC would be my choices, widely recognized by all speakers, since these words exist in most languages.
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 13:18
dreamlikedreamlike
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Self-absorbed: preoccupied with one’s self in some fashion.
Self-involved: Concerned or absorbed primarily or only in one’s own interests or activities.
These can have a very neutral connotation. While many of the responses suggest that a self-absorbed person is uncaring about others, it does not necessarily have to be in a negative sense. For example, that person may be asocial or non-social, rather than antisocial.
Here is an example: «There is a hermit living in that canyon, but he is harmless. He is self-absorbed and minds his own business. You can go there without being bothered.»
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 21:53
Canis LupusCanis Lupus
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Conceit or Egotist are the best I can think of.
NOAD defines conceit as excessive pride(1) in oneself.
OED defines egotist as a person who is excessively conceited or absorbed in themselves.
(1)PRIDE: a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely ammired. — NOAD
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 13:31
I am going to suggest «uncaring». You could also use «indifferent», and «apathetic», as in:
He is indifferent/apathetic to the concerns of others.
You could also use «unkind», though to some people that might imply actual malice, rather.
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 15:00
I’d suggest «shallow» as a nice way of saying that they are overly self-involved with superficial priorities.
To use Internet slang to describe this person, they could be described as a «Scumbag Steve» (from Reddit).
The other term that comes up when I think of an excessively selfish person would be douchebag (or douche). However, this is a VERY disparaging term.
answered Apr 24, 2012 at 16:46
ZootZoot
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My suggestion : Self-serving and Ego-maniacal.
Reason : I find this choice of the ‘self’ prefixed word most appropriate.
Self-absorbed can be defended as someone just plain oblivious to outer life ;
Self-centered doesn’t emphasize on behaviour or deeds, unlike self-serving, which immediately brings to mind the ‘him/her/my self above all’ .
As for ‘egomaniacal‘, I believe it to be a better fit as opposed to ‘narcissistic‘ because the latter doesn’t necessarily imply the drive for pursuits, only choosing oneself over others, if need be. Not to mention, some people prefer to use — and see the usage of, thereby — the word strictly in a clinical aspect.
answered Jun 17, 2017 at 18:14
A person who evidences these priorities to clearly could be described as self-interested.
From Oxford Dictionaries:
Motivated by one’s personal interest or advantage, especially without regard for others.
An example:
Years of observation and introspection have led many to the conclusion that people are self-interested creatures.
Laurel♦
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answered Jul 14, 2015 at 9:28
EleventhDoctorEleventhDoctor
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Self aware is non-negatively connotative; not all forms of caring for oneself need to be selfish.
simchona
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answered Apr 24, 2012 at 22:38
jimjimjimjim
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The Answer you are looking for is specifically called a sociopath.
answered Aug 12, 2013 at 13:47
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It’s almost funny, isn’t it? All the trite, superficial advice about self-love and self-esteem people dump on you when you don’t care about yourself.
And it’s even worse when people you barely know, or even people you do know, spoon on the superficial compliments.
“I’m sure you’re really a good person!” No. I’m not.
“You have worth. You have value.” Eh, maybe a few bucks on the black market for a kidney? I hear those sell pretty well.
“You just have to love yourself!” Ohhhh. Well, I never thought about that. How could I ever possibly have missed that tiny, detailed nuance about existence!? Just love myself. Phenomenal. Spectacular. Truly a groundbreaking epiphany. What? No, I’m not being sarcastic. I would never do that!
Listen, the reason all of that advice sounds so trite, superficial, and absolutely stupid is because that is stuff you do at the END of the journey. It’d be like if a friend says to you, “Hey, let’s go see the Taj Mahal this afternoon.” And you’re like, “Uh, we live in New York. What are you talking about?”
There are many more things to do between New York and seeing the Taj Mahal. You have to schedule some time for it, get the money for airplane tickets, drive to the airport, check-in, go through security, board your flight, fly to India, have a place to sleep lined up, find out where the Taj Mahal actually is, get a ride there, and voila; now you can actually care about and love yourself.
So, what we’re going to do is look at some things you can do on your journey to get from “I’m nothing” to “I’m worthy of loving and respecting myself.”
I want to preface this article by informing you that there are many paths that lead to the Taj Mahal, and everyone’s path is going to be slightly different. No article or information should be viewed as the answer to end all answers… because there isn’t one. Not caring about yourself is a problem you will undoubtedly need to take up with a therapist. It’s going to be a long, difficult journey to get from “I don’t care” to the Taj Mahal. It’s going to be easy to get lost. It’s going to be easy to get distracted or stumble.
Do yourself a tremendous favor and get professional help when you’re able to. If you do not have insurance or can’t afford it, call around to different places and ask if they provide services to uninsured or no-income folks. The government and charities give out a lot of grant money to assist people in those situations. Still, you have to go looking for it, you have to ask for it, you have to apply for it.
That being said, what can you do when you don’t care about yourself?
Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you begin to care abour yourself again. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.
1. Identify where that opinion came from.
Generally speaking, people aren’t born with a low opinion of themselves. That’s something that happens because of other people, life, and trauma. So before you do anything else, really give it some thought and consider where that opinion came from? Why don’t you care about yourself? Why do you feel less than?
Is it mental illness? A byproduct of depression that prevents you from caring about anything? Just the effect of trying to conduct a normal life with the constant curve balls that mental illness can throw at you?
Is it trauma? Did you have someone treat you unkindly who convinced you that you aren’t worth caring about? Was it a parent who wasn’t loving or kind? Was it an abusive partner who made you believe that you had no value, manipulating you into staying in a bad situation?
Is it because you’ve suffered many defeats in life? Nothing ever seems to go right? Nothing ever seems to hold together? It doesn’t matter what you do? There’s always something that goes wrong?
Was it something darker that robbed you of those feelings?
Identifying the reason is powerful because it helps to clarify the problem and figure out whether or not it’s actually your opinion or an opinion that was forced on you from an outside source. And then, you have to consider the validity of the source.
For example, let’s say that as a person is growing up, their parent regularly told them that they are a worthless piece of shit, that they should have had an abortion, that they’re a waste of space. That will definitely affect the way a person sees and cares about themselves as they grow up. That can easily become that child’s reality and inner monologue.
But at some point, they have to stop and ask, “Hey, what the hell’s wrong with a parent that would do that to their kid? Only an asshole would do that.” And they’d be right. Only an asshole would do that. So why let the opinion of an asshole, even if they are a supposed “loved one,” dictate how they feel about themselves?
They shouldn’t! “Well, they’re my parent.” Yeah, and they’re also an asshole. Both things can be true.
2. Remove emotion from your life processes.
People generally do the things that they do because of the feelings that they have. And when a person doesn’t care about themselves, there are many things that they are just not going to do. There are also many things they may passively accept because they do not believe that they deserve to be treated any better.
Self-care can be impossible when you don’t care about yourself. Why bother showering or brushing my teeth? I’m not here to impress anyone. Why should I bother eating? I don’t deserve to eat. Who cares if I cut my hair or groom myself? I’m a worthless person, and I just want to be left alone.
I will stay in this abusive relationship where I’m not treated with love and respect because I don’t deserve love and respect.
I’m going to stay in this toxic job because I’m too incompetent to get hired somewhere else. I don’t have the skills to look for a better job.
The major problem with that mentality is that life keeps moving, even if you don’t. Now, if you’re a person who doesn’t care about themselves, you’re probably already well aware of that. You’ve probably seen opportunities float right on past you, accepted less than respectful behavior, or maybe even punished yourself for not being good enough.
But, if we want to be on a path of healing, we have to live our lives and improve our environment. You can accomplish that by removing emotions from your decision-making processes. We use unemotional pros and cons coupled with SMART goal setting.
The SMART system is a popular goal-setting and planning method because it works. SMART is an acronym for:
Specific: The goal must be specific. “I want to lose 50 pounds.” isn’t specific enough. Instead, you would set a goal of, “I’m going to only eat 1400 calories per day.” which will carry you to the larger goal of losing 50 pounds.
Measurable: The goal must have a state of failure or success. You either limit yourself to 1400 calories per day, or you do not. There’s no gray area.
Actionable: Actionable means that the goal is something you can reasonably do. You wouldn’t set a goal like, “I’m just not going to eat anything for three days to burn calories.” That’s not actionable because it’s not reasonable, and it’s a super unhealthy way to try to lose weight.
Relevant: The goal you’re setting should be relevant to your primary aim. Calorie restriction is a good, relevant way to lose weight.
Time-bound: Define when that goal should be accomplished. In this case, it’s no more than 1400 calories every day.
Now, if you really examine that information on SMART goals, you’ll see how emotions don’t factor into it at all. You don’t have to be worthy to set a goal and work toward it. “Well, I don’t deserve to lose weight.” The emotions are irrelevant. This is an investment in a healthier future.
The other tool you can use is a good, ol’-fashioned pros and cons list. Sit down with a piece of paper and sort out all of the factual pros and cons about the thing. When you’re done, double-check through your list to ensure that all of your points are not coming from an emotional place. “Well, I just don’t think I should.” or “I don’t deserve better.” are not fact-based pros or cons. They’re beliefs influenced by unhealthy emotions.
3. Separate your value from external circumstances.
Many people derive their personal value and self-worth from external sources. This is bad because you don’t have control over those external circumstances.
“I’m a valuable person because I make a lot of money.” What if you get fired? What if your employer goes out of business?
“I’m worthy because I’m loved by this amazing person!” What if they stop loving you? What if they die? What if you stop loving them?
“I rock because I won these awards!” Will you continue to win those awards? What about when you can no longer compete?
The truth of the matter is that all of these externals like accomplishment, wealth, relationships, being popular, being great at something are all things that can easily be taken away from you. Maybe you get injured. Maybe you get divorced. Maybe someone better comes along. And then what? Well, then you’re left standing there with a hole in your heart for your own self-worth that’s no longer being filled.
External things do not make us worthy. The problem with that line of thinking is the implication that a lack of achievement, wealth, or whatever makes a person unworthy. Socially, that’s just kind of the way the world works. It works that way because when you have something, other people want it. If you have wealth, other people are after it. If you have a great job, someone is gunning for it. If you have a loving relationship, some people will do their best to sabotage it because they want what you have.
A person is not unworthy because they do not have much or aren’t useful to other people. They’re worthy because they’re a human being and deserve to be treated humanely and respectfully. YOU are worthy because you are a human being who deserves to be treated humanely and respectfully.
4. Give yourself permission to be human.
Have you given yourself permission to be human? To accept your flaws and mistakes with grace and love? Probably not, or you wouldn’t be reading this article.
A byproduct of tying one’s self-worth to external circumstances is that a person may feel they deserve to be beaten down for not succeeding. Didn’t get that job? Well, it’s because I’m trash. Relationship blew up? It’s because I’m a dumpster fire. Lost everything because I made a bad decision? I’m the worst person in the world. Let someone I love down? I don’t deserve love or compassion.
All bullshit. That’s not a healthy or sustainable way to interact with the world. Guess what? Everyone loses jobs. Everyone loses relationships. Everyone makes bad decisions that cost them big time. Everyone disappoints someone they love. It does not mean you are a bad or unworthy person. It does not mean that you are not valuable.
These things are just mistakes, valuable life lessons that will give you wisdom from living and experiencing life. They don’t have to be tools you use to harm yourself.
“Well, I deserve to suffer.”
No. You don’t. You deserve to be treated humanely and respectfully, just like everyone else. That includes the way you treat yourself.
And I got a hot take for you. If you’re telling yourself you’re a terrible person, and you feel bad about some things you did or something not going well: you’re not a terrible person.
Terrible people don’t give a fuck how their actions affect other people.
Terrible people don’t feel empathy or remorse for the people they use, abuse, or take advantage of. Terrible people don’t care how their bad decisions hurt anyone else or affect anyone else. They only care about one thing: themselves. Their only concern is how their bad actions negatively affect their own life.
“Well, I feel bad that I did the bad thing!” Yeah, that’s your brain telling you that you made a mistake and that you shouldn’t do that again. It’s not an invitation to tear yourself to pieces.
You are allowed to be human. You are allowed to make mistakes. If you feel bad because you took the wrong action, apologize and try to fix it. Don’t just keep sticking your fingers into the wound to make yourself suffer. Learn, change, grow.
Everyone chooses wrong actions from time to time. It’s how you address them that matters most. That’s just a natural part of life.
Look, it’s probably going to be a long time before you can look at yourself in the mirror and see love and respect. It will be a journey to get to that point, as cliche as it sounds. So don’t let the stuff that sounds shallow or superficial put you off of taking your first steps.
It’s not bullshit. It will matter later once you get your immediate foundation built. And get therapy. You will need it.
Still not sure what to do when you don’t care about yourself? Talking to someone can really help you to handle whatever life throws at you. It’s a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.
A therapist is often the best person you can talk to. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can help you to build up your self-esteem and self-worth and address the core reasons why you could care less about yourself.
A good place to get professional help is the website BetterHelp.com – here, you’ll be able to connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.
While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.
Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.
Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.
You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to a therapist. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.
You may also like:
- How To Care Again When You Just Don’t Care About Anything Anymore
- What To Do When You Hate Yourself: No Bullsh*t Advice
- 11 Symptoms Of A Self-Loathing Mindset (+ How To Overcome It)
- How To Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Highly Effective Tips
- “I Don’t Deserve To Be Happy” – How To Overcome These Thoughts
- 13 Simple Yet Effective Ways To Feel Better About Yourself
- 10 Ways To Overcome “I Don’t Matter” Thoughts And Feelings
- 10 Things You Should Do When You’re Tired Of Life
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While it’s natural to be concerned about what others think of you, worrying about it too much can leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious, and make it hard for you to be yourself. If you find yourself frequently feeling upset or worried about what people around you are thinking, try focusing on loving yourself. Retrain your mind to hone in on what’s most important at the moment, rather than on what others might be thinking or saying. Finally, learn to use constructive criticism in a healthy way, and filter out criticism that’s unhelpful or overly harsh.
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Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments. Realizing that your self-worth comes from within is an important part of learning not to care what others think. One way to boost your confidence and get a better sense of your self-worth is to list positive characteristics about yourself.[1]
- Your strengths could be personality traits (e.g., kindness and patience) or skills that you have (such as being a good cook or a careful driver). Accomplishments might include things like making good grades, finishing a project, or getting a promotion at work.
- If you’re having a hard time thinking of things to put on the list, ask a supportive friend or relative to help you. You could also take the VIA character strengths survey online to focus on what gives you good character.
Counselor Trudi Griffin urges caution: «When we care too much about what others think of us, we often change our behavior to please someone else. Additionally, we project a nonverbal need for approval that can lead to a distorted power dynamic in relationships.»
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Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones. If you’re used to dwelling on the negative or taking every harsh criticism to heart, it can be hard to retrain yourself to think positively. When you notice your inner voice getting negative, stop and assess those thoughts. Do they really make sense? If not, replace the negative thought with something more neutral and realistic.[2]
- For example, if you find yourself thinking, “Everyone is going to hate me at my new school,” instead tell yourself, “Probably not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. Nobody can please everyone. If I make an effort to be kind and friendly, I’ll likely find people I get along with.”
- Learn to accept the weaknesses you have so you can improve on them.
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Commit to improving on your weaknesses. All people have flaws, and that’s okay. Acknowledging your weak areas is an important part of personal growth. If you identify flaws in yourself, look upon them as an opportunity to better yourself, rather than dwelling on what’s “wrong” with you or what others will think. Taking action to improve will help you feel better about yourself and less worried about others’ perceptions of you.
- For example, if you are out of shape and this bothers you, set some attainable fitness goals, even if they’re small at first. You might start by planning to walk 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week.
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Practice kindness for its own sake. Focusing more on others—rather than yourself—can ultimately help you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to be kind and considerate to others every day, without worrying about pleasing people or being repaid for your kindness. You’ll feel good, and even if others don’t thank you or judge you unfairly, you’ll know that you did the right thing.[3]
- Try incorporating a few acts of kindness into your daily routine, even if they’re small things like holding a door open or complimenting someone on their outfit.
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Establish appropriate boundaries with others. While it’s important to be kind to others, that doesn’t mean you should allow them to take advantage of you or mistreat you. If you’re not used to setting boundaries, it can be difficult at first. Ultimately, however, you’ll feel much better about yourself and more secure in your relationships with others once you’ve set some firm limits.[4]
- Remember that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.
- Be clear and direct with others about what your boundaries are and let them know what the consequences will be if those boundaries are violated. For example, “Mom, I’ll have to stop inviting you over if you’re going to argue with me about how I’m raising my son every time you visit.”
- You may encounter disappointment, anger, or resistance at first, especially if other people in your life aren’t used to you enforcing boundaries. However, people who really care about you should respect your boundaries, even if they aren’t happy with them.
- If someone consistently refuses to respect your boundaries, you may need to limit contact with that person.
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Specify what you’re worried about. Fears about what other people think of you can feel unmanageable if they’re big and vague. Try to hone in on what it is that you’re really worried about. This will not only help your anxieties feel less overwhelming, but will also get you closer to developing a strategy for dealing with them.[5]
- For example, you may have a general fear of people judging you at work. Try to pinpoint your concerns more specifically. Are you afraid your boss doesn’t think you’re being productive enough? Are you worried that your coworker might be gossiping about you? Do you feel like you need more training or support at your job?
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Determine what’s behind your specific fears. Once you’ve narrowed down what’s bothering you, think about where that fear comes from. In some cases, you may find that your concerns are rational. It’s also possible, however, that you’re hung up on anxieties that you learned at some earlier point in your life. With a little reflection, you may decide those fears are unfounded.[6]
- For example, maybe you’re worried that people at your job will judge you because you have tattoos. If you’re in the kind of workplace where tattoos are considered inappropriate (such as a conservative law office), that might be a legitimate concern.
- If you have a job in an easy-going coffee shop where everyone wears body art, it’s probably okay if you have tattoos. Ask yourself if your anxiety comes from some other source, such as things you heard from your parents growing up (e.g., “If you get a tattoo, nobody will trust you!”).
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Practice mindfulness. Being mindful means being more aware of your surroundings, thoughts, and feelings at any given moment. Making an effort to be mindful can help you feel more grounded at the moment, rather than worrying about what might happen or what other people may be thinking.[7]
- If you find yourself worrying about what other people are thinking, gently steer your thoughts back to the here and now. Think about what you are doing, how you are feeling, and what you are trying to accomplish at that moment.
- Recognize your feelings and thoughts without judgment. Simply being more aware of what’s going on in your head can help you recognize and manage your anxiety more easily.
- Try doing mindful meditation to help you get used to being mindful all the time. Look for mindful meditation apps or find guided meditation exercises online.
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Develop a strategy for dealing with worst-case scenarios. A lot of anxiety about what others are thinking comes from getting hung up on what might happen. You can help relieve some of these fears by coming up with a solution or a plan of action in case the worst does come to pass.[8]
- For example, maybe you keep thinking, “I’m going to mess up my part of this group project, and then the other students in my group will hate me.” Ask yourself, “What would I do if I did mess up? What would help me feel better? How could I prevent it from happening again?”
- Even if the only solution you can think of is something simple, like “I would apologize for messing up,” that’s still a start. You will feel less helpless and anxious with even a basic plan in place.
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Distract yourself by taking action. One great way to take your mind off of what other people are thinking is to do something productive. Getting busy with an important task will keep you focused on what you are doing, rather than on how others are (or might be) judging you.[9]
For example, you might:- Finish a chore or project you’ve been putting off.
- Volunteer for a cause you support.
- Go out of your way to do something kind for someone (e.g., help a neighbor mow their lawn).
- Work on a hobby or creative project you enjoy.
- Spend some quality time with someone you care about.
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Listen to criticism with an open mind. Criticism is often painful, but you may find it easier to deal with if you think of it as an opportunity for growth and improvement rather than something hurtful or discouraging. If someone says something critical to you, listen actively before you get defensive. You may actually find what they have to say helpful. Before getting upset or rejecting the criticism, consider:[10]
- The source. Did the criticism come from someone generally supportive, whose opinions you respect?
- The content. Did the other person just say something vague or insulting (e.g., “You’re a jerk!”), or did they actually make a specific point about your behavior and how it affects them (e.g., “When you come in late, I feel distracted and it disrupts my work.”)?
- The delivery. Did the person attempt to be tactful and constructive with their criticism, or were they unnecessarily rude and harsh?
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Reject criticism and judgments you know are unfounded. Just because someone has something critical to say to or about you, that doesn’t mean they’re right. Weigh their words carefully, but remember that you don’t always have to take other people’s opinions to heart.[11]
- For example, if someone says that you’re lazy, but you know you have been working as hard as you can, remind yourself of that. You might say to yourself, “I’m not lazy. I may not be able to do everything that they can do, but that’s because everyone is different. I’m doing the best I can, and that’s okay.”
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Take the high road when others judge or criticize you. If someone says something harsh to or about you, you may be tempted to lash out or get even. This is unlikely to accomplish much, however. Even if you don’t feel good about what they have to say, you’ll feel better (and others will be impressed!) if you can turn the other cheek and react with kindness and civility.[12]
- Even if you don’t agree with what the other person said, you can still respond in a way that validates the person (if not their words). For example, you might say, “Thanks for the advice. I’ll think about that.”
- If the other person was trying to be rude or unkind, a kind response might unnerve them and make them think about how they are behaving. Even if it doesn’t, you’ll still come out of the encounter as the bigger person.
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Acknowledge that others’ perceptions of you come from them, not you. If someone says or thinks something unkind about you, that says more about them than it does about you. You cannot change what other people think of you—only they can do that. Remember that all you can do is work hard to be the best person you can be, and accept that you will never be able to please everyone.
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Spend time with supportive people. It’s hard for anyone to feel good about themselves if they’re surrounded by people who belittle them and bring them down all the time. If there is someone in your life who consistently puts you down, judges you, takes advantage of you, or violates your boundaries, you may need to cut ties with that person. Try to spend time with people who respect you and come from a place of love and support, even when they are being critical.
- If you’re getting a lot of negativity from someone you can’t avoid completely, like a coworker, try to minimize your time with that person as much as you can. Be civil or at least neutral when you have to be around them, but don’t seek them out.
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Identify any irrational beliefs you have that are illogical. They can prevent you from reaching your goals and lead to self-destructive behavior.[13]
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Try to focus on the good in others. If you don’t want other people judging you harshly, then do your best to offer them the same respect.
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Don’t become arrogant. Not caring and being arrogant are two different things.
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About This Article
Article SummaryX
Learning not to care what other people think about you isn’t easy, but there are small steps you can take to start building your confidence and focusing your energy on things that are more important to you. The more secure you are in yourself, the less you’ll worry about what other people think of you. To build your self-confidence and feel more secure, make a list of your strengths and accomplishments and add to it every day. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, try replacing those thoughts with more positive ones, like something you accomplished that you’re proud of. In addition to working on your self-esteem, try to be more present and mindful so you’re less caught up in what other people are thinking. Doing mindful meditation every day and keeping yourself busy with chores, hobbies, and activities you enjoy can help keep your mind off of what other people are thinking. For tips about how to establish appropriate boundaries with other people, keep reading.
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Table of Contents
- What is the word for not caring about something?
- What is a word for caring about something?
- What’s another word for neglecting?
- How do you describe someone who doesn’t care?
- What do you call someone who disregards your feelings?
- What is traumatic invalidation?
- What does emotional invalidation look like?
- How do you trick a gaslighter?
- What personality type is a gaslighter?
- What is a gaslighter parent?
- Can a gaslighter be cured?
- Is Gaslighting a mental illness?
- How do you know if someone is gaslighting you?
- Can a woman gaslight a man?
without interest or concern; not caring; apathetic: his indifferent attitude toward the suffering of others.
What is a word for caring about something?
Caring Synonyms – WordHippo Thesaurus….What is another word for caring?
kind | empathetic |
---|---|
gentle | sensitive |
sympathetic | thoughtful |
affectionate | altruistic |
beneficent | charitable |
What’s another word for neglecting?
Some common synonyms of neglect are disregard, forget, ignore, overlook, and slight. While all these words mean “to pass over without giving due attention,” neglect implies giving insufficient attention to something that merits one’s attention.
How do you describe someone who doesn’t care?
Synonyms for doesn’t care include disregards, is aloof, is apathetic towards, is blasé about, is dispassionate, is impassive, is indifferent to, is lukewarm about, is nonchalant about and is unconcerned about. dresser noun. unaffiliated. To describe someone’s appearance, you will often use adjectives.
What do you call someone who disregards your feelings?
By definition, invalidation is the process of denying, rejecting or dismissing someone’s feelings. Invalidation sends the message that a person’s subjective emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, and/or unacceptable.
What is traumatic invalidation?
Traumatic invalidation occurs when an individual’s environment repeatedly or intensely communicates that the individual’s experiences, characteristics, or emotional reactions are unreasonable and/or unacceptable.
What does emotional invalidation look like?
Emotional invalidation is when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged. Invalidation is emotionally upsetting for anyone, but particularly hurtful for someone who is emotionally sensitive. Invalidation disrupts relationships and creates emotional distance.
How do you trick a gaslighter?
Here’s what gaslighters do:
- Hide an evil intention behind a friendly gesture.
- Subtly undermine your confidence and self-esteem.
- Make you second-guess yourself.
- Devalue you as an individual.
- Trivialize your opinions and ideas (and experiences)
- Force you to justify yourself to everyone else.
What personality type is a gaslighter?
People who gaslight other people in their lives may have a psychological disorder called narcissistic personality disorder. People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they’re extremely important and that the world revolves around them.
What is a gaslighter parent?
Rather than being emotionally supportive, gaslighting parents will make their child feel worse about whatever difficult situation they’re in—whether it’s a mistake, a failure, or a day-to-day stressor. Spinelli says this behavior indicates gaslighting.
Can a gaslighter be cured?
In therapy, a person can rebuild their self-esteem and regain control of their lives. A therapist may also treat any mental health concerns caused by the abuse, such as PTSD. With time and support, a person can recover from gaslighting.
Is Gaslighting a mental illness?
Summary. Gaslighting is an abusive practice that causes someone to distrust themselves or to believe they have a mental illness. The long-term effects of gaslighting may include anxiety, depression, trauma, and low self-esteem. Gaslighting often appears in abusive relationships but also takes place in other contexts.
How do you know if someone is gaslighting you?
When someone is gaslighting you, you often second-guess yourself, your memories, and your perceptions. After communicating with the person gaslighting you, you are left feeling dazed and wondering what is wrong with you. 1 Tactics like these can confuse you and cause you to question your sanity.
Can a woman gaslight a man?
According to Healthy Place, “Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions.” In any of these situations, either a man or a woman can be the abuser and either a man or a woman can be the abused.
Caring too much about unimportant things is a waste of time and energy. Not only that, it’s often counterproductive. It can psyche you out. Like when you’re giving a presentation. You want to be prepared, but not obsessed with the outcome to the point where you’re sweating.
By not caring so much — about things you shouldn’t be caring about — you can actually be happier and more productive.
However, differentiating between what’s worth caring about and what’s not is challenging – and actually not caring is even harder.
In this article, I’ll share some of the things I don’t care about and some of the things I do care about. Then I’ll share how to not care about the former.
What Not to Care About
Sometimes people think I don’t care about anything. I do care. About some things anyways. I just don’t let the stupid things bother me. I care about the right things. Here are some of the wrong things…
Don’t care about what other people think.
No one cares about you either. Everyone’s stuck in their own head.
Or maybe everyone is judging you. All the time!
It doesn’t matter. You can’t please everyone anyways.
Don’t care about what’s out of your control.
Don’t care that life is hard. Don’t care that your boss is annoying.
Accept reality. Take action.
Don’t care about the outcome. You can’t control what your gatekeepers will decide or how your competitors will perform. You can only control how you perform.
While it may sound counterintuitive, focusing on how you perform, and not worrying about factors outside of your control, will probably improve your performance.
Don’t care about what won’t matter in the long run.
There are a million and one things that could be worried about on any given day. Most of them aren’t worth the time or energy.
Here’s a quick question to ask yourself to differentiate between what’s worth caring about and what’s not:
“Will this matter 10 years from now?”
Will the guy walking slowly on the sidewalk matter 10 years from now?
Will getting too many emails matter 10 years from now?
No. And no.
If the answer to the question above is “yes,” it will matter 10 years from now, use it as motivation.
Doing your job will matter 10 years from now. Loving your partner will matter 10 years from now. Waking up a little earlier to work on your writing or your business idea will matter.
Think about how you will feel 10 years from now if you take the right action today. I’ve found it helpful for beating procrastination.
Don’t care when things go wrong.
If you don’t try, you can’t get anywhere.
Caring about failure will only keep you from succeeding.
Learn from your experiences. Then take best action.
With a mindset focused on the positive in any situation and what’s in your control in the present moment, you’ll be better equipped to overcome any setbacks.
Don’t care about crappy people.
When you care about crappy people, you let them win.
If someone wastes your time, don’t waste more of it by caring.
Nothing is more valuable than your mindset. Not even your time.
What to Care About
Caring about nothing is nihilism. Nihilism sounds like a bad word. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know. But despite all the things not worth caring about, there are a few that have helped me become happier and more successful. By caring about these things, the things I don’t care about just seem to fade away and good things seem to happen. I realize that might sound like a religion or something. Maybe it is – I can’t really explain it. All I know is that it’s working for me so maybe you’ll try some of it. I hope it works for you, too.
Care about what’s in your control.
Eating well. Exercising. Sleeping. Loving. Being grateful. Improving everyday.
I call these “inputs.” If I do these things, the things that are out of my control seem to go my way.
If I sleep well, I wake up energized. If I wake up energized, I write better. If I write better, I sell more books.
If I exercise, my mood is better. If my mood is better, clients like me better. If clients like me better, I sell more projects.
Care about what makes you happier and more productive.
Some people say affirmations are bogus. Other people say they help. I say if they work for you, do them.
Some people love politics. Other people find politics anxiety inducing and pathetic.
If politics stresses you out — then fuck politics.
If you find politics entertaining — then do your thing.
Sometimes it’s important to be pragmatic. More importantly, don’t be guilted into caring about something you shouldn’t care about.
Care about yourself.
Not in a selfish way. Actually, yes, in a selfish way.
Sometimes it’s good to be selfish. Not in a way that’s harmful to other people. But in a way that is fair to yourself. If someone’s trying to get you to not care about yourself – and to care for someone or something else – they’re probably trying to scam you.
Don’t just care for yourself – love yourself.
It’s impossible to care about stupid shit at the same time as loving yourself.
If you’re not caring about yourself you’re probably caring about something else instead.
When you care for yourself, everyone around you benefits. Your sense of control increases, you start taking actions that benefit you. But in order to benefit yourself you have to benefit other people. Starting a business can make you money but it also provides a product or service that helps other people. Writing is therapeutic, but it helps, or at least entertains, other people too (I hope). Exercising increases your mood and energy and makes you more pleasant to be around and gives you more power to help other people.
Care about what matters.
Does what restaurant you eat at this weekend matter? Does what you order matter?
No.
What matters is who you go with.
Based on your values, and the high leverage “inputs” in your life, figure out what matters to you. Take action on what’s in your control.
How to Stop Caring
Those are the categories of things that I care about and don’t care about. But I know that not caring is not so easy in practice, even when it “makes sense.” We’re guilted into believing that we need to care about everyone and everything. Often by people who stand to gain from our stress and division of attention.
So how do you break free?
Know your values.
Do you value money? Fame?
Or do you value your time? Your happiness? Your independence?
If you don’t choose your values, someone else will choose them for your.
I won’t judge you, whatever your values are. Money is great. Just choose. If you don’t know, that’s ok too. Just be aware of yourself.
Experience caring and failing.
Fail. Embarrass yourself.
Learn that it isn’t so bad.
It could be much worse.
Be grateful that it isn’t.
Then move on. Just keep taking the best action.
Experience not caring and winning.
One time I stopped caring about stupid things. I stopped trying to read people’s minds. I stopped caring about what’s gone wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future.
Instead, I cared about what was in my control and what mattered. Then I took best action.
I wrote a proposal and sent an email.
I made money.
Don’t feel guilty
There’s a fine line between not caring and being reckless. Mind it carefully.
But don’t feel guilty about not caring.
Anytime you hear something explained by “you just have to” — run. That’s not a reason. That’s a scam.
You’ll adapt to whatever situation you’re in. Be grateful for everything.
November 2016 Personal Development
На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать грубую лексику.
На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать разговорную лексику.
Clark, you may not care about yourself, but think about your parents.
You may not care about yourself, but you’ve got enough semtex duct-taped to you to spread a lot of misery around.
помни, что на тебе достаточно взрывчатки, чтобы принести много боли окружающим.
It is clear that you do not care about people, just yourself.
After all, buying organic cotton, you care not only about yourself but also about the environment.
Покупая органических хлопок, вы заботитесь не только о себе, но и о состоянии окружающей среды.
Результатов: 46176. Точных совпадений: 2. Затраченное время: 265 мс
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Do you ever lay awake at night worrying about what someone thinks of you? Do you have a brilliant idea you want to put out into the world, but stress about how it will be perceived and what everyone will think?
There can be a million different scenarios for how we care what other people think of us and how it can negatively affect our lives – if we let it.
Most of us are guilty at times of caring too much about what people think of us. We stress, we worry, we tie our stomach in knots and for what?
Caring what other people think can hold us back from achieving our dreams, goals or plans. It can stop us from ever pursuing them in the first place.
The sooner we stop caring about what other people think, the more content and peaceful our lives will be.
Before we get started on our list, I want to be very clear about something. This isn’t about not caring for or caring about other people.
This isn’t about trying to hurt someone or not caring about the repercussions of your actions.
This is more about your everyday interactions with people.
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I may receive does not affect the price you pay.
Let’s look at 20 ways to stop caring what other people think of you.
1. Understand not everything thinks the same way you do
There have been times when I’ve been upset at a friend and got myself into a spin about what she must be thinking about the situation.
I’d play scenarios over and over in my head about how I assumed my friend was feeling about a particular situation.
And you what……it was all a HUGE waste of my time and energy because the next time I would see her, I’d realize that she was totally oblivious to what I’d been thinking about. My thoughts and concerns hadn’t even been on her radar.
People’s brains think and work differently. Different situations trigger different thoughts, feelings, and reactions in different people. What you think is a problem or a concern might not even register with someone else.
Don’t assume that people think the same way you do.
By the way, this isn’t about someone being right and someone being wrong, it’s more about different opinions.
2. Understand you have different values from other people
Here is the truth of it, you are going to disappoint people.
And we are not talking about strangers here, we are talking about people who you love with all of your heart.
You are going to disappoint them and you know what….this is perfectly okay. It’s a normal part of life because people have different values and beliefs.
You might love your parents and respect them dearly but not want to live the same life they do, follow in their footsteps, like the things they do, or about a thousand other things.
This may disappoint them. Hopefully, their disappointment will be brief – but it may disappoint them.
The sooner we wrap our heads around the fact that we will disappoint people and that it’s okay (again this isn’t about trying to hurt people on purpose) the better our lives will be.
3. Make peace with the fact that people aren’t thinking about you anywhere near as much as you think they are
I don’t say this to upset anyone but people probably aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.
That doesn’t mean the people close to you don’t love and care about you. They do.
What it means is that people are generally caught up in their own lives, their own drama, and their own problems. They have their own needs and desires.
People don’t think about you as much as you think they do.
Instead of seeing this as a bad thing, look at it as a release valve taking some of the pressure off you.
4. Understand people will judge you
You might be thinking about the office gossip at work that never seems to stop whingeing or complaining about other people.
You might be asking – How am I supposed to not care what they say about me to other people?
We all know the constant complainers and work gossips. We’ve been at the team lunches and listened to them bagging people left, right, and center. We all secretly hope they won’t come after us next.
The constant complainers often have their own agenda. For starters, they might be feeling insecure about themselves and their position at work or they might be craving attention and validation. Talking about people makes them the center of attention and gets people listening to them. It might make them feel popular and important (and yes some do it just to stir up trouble because they like the drama).
It’s probably not a great idea to get too close to the people who whine and complain a lot because at some point you know that they are going to be talking behind your back.
Though it’s not a great comfort, it’s important to remember that people bitching and complaining is often more about them than about you.
Throughout your life, people are going to judge you. People will criticize you and say bad stuff about you (both true and untrue). Sometimes criticism is going to get to us and we have to deal with it and other times the best thing you can do is stay strong, ignore it, and power on.
Related post – How to Deal with Criticism
5. Accept that people you love will complain about you
I have a confession. I was complaining to my Mum about one of my close friends the other night.
I also know that my close friends complain about me to someone else every now and then and I am fine with it.
People do petty stuff that ticks us off and we might have the occasional grumble to someone about it. We do petty stuff that ticks people off and they have a whinge to someone else about us.
People often process their feelings by talking to other people.
Some personality types need to talk more than others. Some talk less and process internally.
It goes something like this – someone does something to hurt our feelings, we get it out of our system by talking to someone about it and then we forget about it and move on.
To clarify, I’m not talking about vicious backstabbing, spreading rumors about someone, or being nasty and trying to turn people against them.
A word of warming – be very careful about who you open up to. It needs to be someone you TRUST. The further removed they are from the person you are talking about the better.
For instance, don’t whine about family to other family members unless you trust them implicitly.
People will grumble about you every now and then when you annoy them or tick them off.
Don’t worry about it, just get on with your life.
6. Realize you might need to have a conversation with someone
Following up on the last point, if you have a problem that needs to be addressed with someone, you should talk to them directly instead of talking to other people about the issue.
This doesn’t mean that you have to confront people over every little slight.
It does mean you need to pick your battles.
Talk about the serious stuff.
Let the rest go.
Related post – How to Have Those Hard Conversations
7. Choose whose opinion you care about
Some people’s opinions are more important to us than others.
You need to decide for yourself whose opinion you care about.
Be discerning.
Bear in mind that sometimes the people closest to us can be the most judgmental and can also have their own agenda.
Don’t blindly follow other people’s advice or feedback, make up your own mind and always believe in yourself.
Related post – Stop Listening to Other People’s Opinions and Start Believing in Yourself
8. Accept that some people will like you and other people won’t (no matter what you do)
You know people who you don’t like…….right?
When it comes to people we know, most likely, the people you don’t like have probably hurt or wronged you or someone you care about in some way.
But have you ever met someone and just not felt great about them?
For some reason, you just didn’t like them. Or perhaps you felt a certain vibe about them? You can be civil to them and have a chat but you know deep down that you probably aren’t going to be best buds with them anytime soon.
I am sure we have all had moments like this and been quite okay with them.
We don’t have to like everyone. We won’t immediately bond with everyone.
Well, guess what….that works the other way around too.
People aren’t always going to like you and it might be for no particular reason, just a feeling or vibe they have or even the mood they are in at the time. It could be something as basic as you reminding them of someone they don’t like or your name may even trigger a bad memory from their past. All nothing to do with you personally!
Some people won’t like you and that is perfectly normal and okay.
Get on board with that and you will be a lot more content.
Jumping through hoops trying to get someone to like you is exhausting and a waste of your emotional energy.
Energy is a precious resource, don’t waste it on people who aren’t interested in you. Go find the ones who are interested.
9. Stop being a people-pleaser
While we are on the topic of trying to please people, you might need to stop being a people pleaser.
This one is a big topic as lots of blog posts and books have been written about it and needless to say I’m not going to do it justice in a couple of paragraphs.
If you need specific help in this area, these posts can help.
- 10 Things to Help Stop You Being a People Pleaser
- 21 Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser
If you are a people-pleaser reading this, I have a suggestion for you.
Be kind to yourself.
Get focused on your self-care and taking more time out for yourself.
Treat yourself for no reason at all (it doesn’t have to be something expensive, just something that makes you feel happy).
Develop a sense of joy by being kinder to yourself.
10. Work on the way you feel about yourself
A lot of our insecurities and self-doubt come from the way we think and feel about ourselves – not from what we think other people are talking about.
The more you work on yourself the more self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence you will have.
The result of a high sense of self-worth – caring a lot less about what other people think – because you have an unshakeable belief in yourself. You will still struggle with things now and then but your core will be strong.
Related posts that can help –
- Know Your Own Worth
- Know Your Own Worth Even When it Feels like the World Doesn’t Quite Agree With You
- Don’t Let Anyone Define Your Worth
- How to Believe in Yourself When People Don’t Support You
Your self-talk plays a role in how you feel about yourself, so it’s important to be aware of the way you talk to yourself.
- 3 Ways to Dramatically Improve Your Positive Self-Talk
- Pay Close Attention to Your Inner Dialogue
- Know Your Trigger Words and How to Deal with Them
I recently completed an online course that I got a lot out of and really enjoyed. The course is How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence.
This online course that you can take at your own pace is by the wonderful Mel Robbins over at CreativLive.
Mel teaches that self-doubt is a habit, which is actually great news because habits can be changed. Mel walks you through the steps and strategies for breaking the habit of self-doubt. She makes it fun and interesting and I highly recommend this course.
If you want to read my review to see if this course is something you would be interested in and something you will benefit from you can read it here.
11. Understand the importance of validating yourself from within
I can’t stress this one enough. You need to be able to validate yourself from within.
So what does that mean exactly? It means you need to love and accept yourself.
It means that you know your worth.
It means that you don’t constantly need people to tell you you’re smart/beautiful/lovable or whatever word or group of words you want to substitute there.
I know from experience that this one thing can be a massive turning point in your life because it was for me.
There was a time when I constantly sought outside validation from other people because I didn’t believe I was lovable.
I don’t believe that anymore.
The love you seek resides within you and that’s where you need to source it from.
Related post – Stop Waiting for Acceptance – Accept Yourself
12. Understand that you get to decide what you suffer for
After reading the amazing book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life” by Mark Manson last year, I did a lot of soul-searching.
I absolutely loved this book and in fact, bought 3 copies of it. I bought one for myself, one for my friend, then another one for myself (because I loaned the original to another friend).
We all know that life involves some suffering. The good news is you get to decide what you suffer for.
You get to decide what is important to you. You get to choose (because whether you realize it or not you are already choosing all the time).
This book will challenge you and make you think harder about what is and isn’t important to you. It’s a MUST READ and yes, if you can’t tell by the title there is some swearing involved.
13. Understand there is more important stuff to worry about
Let’s get real for a moment if you are going to worry you have more important stuff to worry about than what people are saying about you.
I remember being younger and worrying about every little thing! The stupid part was how much of it was external – as in what someone thought of me or what would happen if someone did a particular thing.
When my Dad got cancer and passed away, I fully understood that there are much more important things to worry about.
Generally speaking, getting older does change the things you worry about because your priorities change and shift. Death, illness, and loss can change your life perspective.
Life will give you enough serious things to worry about.
Don’t add to the pile by caring about what everyone you meet thinks of you.
14. Understand you have more important things to do
While you are worrying about what people think of you and stressing about what people are saying about you – guess
what you are not working on.
YOU.
Your life, your career, your family (whatever it is that is important to you).
Again this isn’t about being selfish and thinking the whole world revolves around you but hey your personal success and happiness do evolve around you, so you need to focus.
To achieve your goals you need focus and clarity. You need consistency and perseverance and you won’t have all of these things if you are sitting around stressing that someone didn’t like your hair, clothes or something you said at the office morning tea.
Need help in defining and achieving your goals? This year I’m using the Slay Your Goals Planner. It’s a great planner to help you work out the why, what, where, when and how of your goals. It’s also now form-fillable (yeah!) which means no printing required (unless you want to print of course).
Download your Free Slay Your Goals Guide to get a feel for what you can expect with the planner.
15. Stop taking everything personally
If you tend to take everything personally, you will be invested more in what people think of you than you should be.
People do things all the time that have nothing to do with us (but we think they involve us in some way).
We might think someone is mad at us when in fact they are upset about a bill they received that they are worried about paying. There are about a million other examples I could have used here.
When people get stressed and anxious they can take their frustration out on other people. It’s not personal. It’s not about you, so don’t take that on board.
Bear in mind that you might be good at not taking things personally in one area of your life but not be good in other areas.
When I worked as a sales secretary I had to deal with some very demanding and often extremely vocal salespeople who would vent their frustrations. It wasn’t personal, it was just letting off steam during times of high stress. I handled it well, yet in my personal life, there were times I took things very personally when I shouldn’t have.
16. Adopt a ‘who cares’ attitude
I remember when I was a teenager, I was at a youth group dance and I heard a boy (Larry) who I had a massive crush on laugh at me with his friends about the way I danced.
I was crushed.
I held onto that memory for years and I often felt uncomfortable when I went dancing.
But I’m not an insecure 15-year-old girl anymore.
Now that I’m a grown-up who knows her worth, I understand a couple of things. Firstly, Larry was probably dealing with his own insecurities and issues. He was the popular, cool guy who wanted to stay cool and popular.
Secondly, Larry’s opinion doesn’t matter. Even if I am the worst dancer, his opinion doesn’t matter. It’s not about him being right or wrong about my dancing skills or lack thereof – it’s about me not caring what he thinks.
If that happened to me now, I’d be a bit upset for a few seconds (I’m only human) but then I’d keep dancing my ass off and not give a care what someone thought.
I’d be like “Who cares Larry. Not me, I’m too busy having fun.’
Criticism isn’t going to just come from the Larry’s in your life. It can come from people much closer, like your parents, partner, or siblings. Despite how much you love them, sometimes you need to keep your ‘who cares Larry ‘ attitude intact and do what is best for you.
It’s hard sometimes but essential.
17. Laugh it off
Yes, I am serious. For the small stuff that isn’t worth worrying about, if you feel it niggling at you, have a laugh about
it.
Make a joke out of it. Make fun of the small stupid stuff.
That is what your amazing best friend is for – to laugh about all the crappy small stuff.
Before you know it, you’ll be laughing so hard with someone you love and who loves you and none of it will matter.
Related post – How to Laugh More
18. Be in the moment
When you are stressing about what other people think of you, you aren’t enjoying the moment.
More to the point you could be turning a positive moment into a negative one (for no valid reason or for something insignificant).
Caring about what other people are thinking of you strips away your joy and happiness.
Don’t give people that sort of power over you.
19. Get help if you need it
If you suffer from severe social anxiety, seek help from a professional.
There is nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not something you have to deal with alone.
Seek out the help and assistance that you need.
20. Remember this is your life and you only get one
If you obsess about what other people think of you, it could stop you from living your life to your full potential.
It could make you miserable.
You have this one glorious, messy, beautiful life to live and that’s all you get.
Don’t waste it worrying about what other people think of you.
Help people, love people, and be kind to them but get on with your own life. You can’t make everyone happy all the time.
It’s time to stop caring what people think of you.
Be brave. Be courageous and most of all, be yourself – without caring what people think.
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Read Next – How to Live for Yourself and Not For Other People
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There are just two ways to live your life. First, on your own terms you set for yourself, like a free soul who is allowed to think, act and is least bothered by external influences. And Second, is to get influenced by the mindset and opinions set by other people. If you fall in the latter category, then am sure these quotes about not caring what others think will surely inspire you to take charge of your life and follow that path which you feel is right for you, no matter what happens.
There comes a time in life, where we just need to detox our mind from fears, insecurities and limited beliefs in order to reach our truest potential. We should put an end to our habit of getting influenced by others thinking. You need to realise and trust your own beliefs and pursue your life on your own terms, rather than getting hooked by others hollow thoughts.
If just few minds were enough to run this whole world then there would be no need of having billions of mind, isn’t it? People always stop you from doing what they couldn’t achieve themselves, and that’s true. But that doesn’t mean that all people will try to bring you down or feed you with bad thoughts, all i am saying is to differentiate between the melody and the noise.
Always be open to listen to everybody, but at last do what your heart says. That’s the only way to set your foot on the unexplored paths which will take you to your life calling.
All you need to make one decision; how you gonna live rest of your life? To be one of many mouses dancing on Pied piper’s flute, or to be the Pied Piper? Choice is yours…
Quotes About Not Caring What Others Think
1. “The minute you start caring about what other people think, is the minute you stop being yourself.” — Meryl Streep
2. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” — Ann Landers
3. “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” Laozi
4. “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” — C. JoyBell C.
5. “Never worry about what other people say or think. Do the right. Have a clear conscience and roam about happily.” — Sivananda
6. “We cannot live being obsessed with what other people think about us. It’s impossible to live like that. Not even God managed to please the entire world.” — Cristiano Ronaldo
7. “Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, stop caring about what others think.” — Roy T. Bennett
8. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
9. “So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself.” —Neale Donald Walsch
10. “The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.” — C. JoyBell C
11. “Know and believe in yourself and what others think won’t disturb you.” — William Feather
12. “Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ― Tyra Banks
13. “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” — John Wooden
14. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss
ALSO READ: 60 Kick-Ass Quotes About Changing And Improving Yourself For The Better
15. “Most people just want to see you fall, that’s more reason to stand tall.” ― Emma Michelle
16. “Don’t let what other people think decide who you are.” —Dennis Rodman
17. “You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” — Richard Feynman
18. “If you care too much about what others think then you ultimately become what you think they want you to be.” — Oliver Jeffers
19. “Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don’t let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.” — Roy T. Bennett
20. “Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” — Brigham Young
21. “Ignore what other people think. Most people aren’t even paying attention to you.” — Amy Poehler
22. “Caring what others think about us is normal. The desire to belong is basic to human nature. But in order to feel like you truly belong, you must accept yourself for who you are. This is critical to Fearless Living. “ —Rhonda Britten
23. “If you worry about what other people think of you, then you will have more confidence in their opinion than you have in your own.” — Andy Andrews
24. “Stop caring what other people think. How? Understand that this is your life, not theirs, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself if things don’t work out the way you’d hoped…their opinion shouldn’t matter more than your own.” — Stephanie Klein
25. “Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” — Claude Bissell
26. “The day you stop caring what other people think of you is the day your life begins.” — Aaron Eckhart
27. “As for worrying about what other people might think – forget it. They aren’t concerned about yours. They’re too busy worrying about what you and other people think of theirs.” — Michael LeBoeuf
28. “Stop worrying about what others think. At the end of the day, you have to live with you. Trust yourself. No one has to tell you when it’s right. Do what you need to do.” — Cheryl Richardson
29. “I think people should do whatever they want to do. That’s the point. Why should you care what other people think or say? You’re not living in their pocket.” — Francesca Annis
30. “Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.”— Angelina Jolie
We hope these quotes inspired you to stop caring what others think and focus on what matters the most. So, are you still going to bother about people or just going to follow your heart?