Word for my way or the highway

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my way or the highway

If you do not do things the way I want or require, then you can just leave or not participate. I’m here to create the best musicians in the world, so in this room, it’s my way or the highway!

Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2022 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

ˌmy way or the ˈhighway

(American English, informal) used to say that somebody else has either to agree with your opinion or to leave: Right now there is only one rule here. It’s my way or the highway.

Farlex Partner Idioms Dictionary © Farlex 2017

See also:

  • aint
  • ain’t
  • not for a instant
  • by no means
  • not by any means
  • hope not
  • (I) hope not
  • not exactly
  • be not much cop
  • be like ships in the night

References in periodicals archive
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It is the antithesis of the traditional «my way or the highway» model of higher ed.

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My way or the highway is an idiom that originated in the United States in the 1960s. We will examine the meaning of the idiom my way or the highway, where it came from, and some examples of its use in sentences.

My way or the highway is an admonishment to do things the way that I tell you to do them, or do not participate. My way or the highway is an ultimatum that means fulfill my requirements or do not participate. The image is of one either conforming to expectations or driving away down the highway. My way or the highway is an idiom that is used when the listener does not have any option or recourse. For instance, a boss who insists that a job must be executed in a certain manner might use the idiom my way or the highway. His employee know that this means either do the job in the manner that the boss expects him to, or quit. The earliest known users of the idiom my way or the highway are American football coaches, such as Vince Lombardi and Bill Parcells.

Examples

Keyes said she was concerned about the “my way or the highway approach” administration is taking while working with teachers and support staff. (The Beloit Daily News)

Revisiting them could lead us away from the current gridlock that comes from the prevalent “my way or the highway” approach to governing. (The La Porte County Herald-Argus)

“But you cannot come to a conclusion if the president of the United States says ‘My way or the highway, there’s nothing to negotiate and, by the way, I am willing to hold the American, our federal workers hostage to my view,’” she said. (The Washington Post)

Hi Rachel:

After a little research on the web, it looks like «My Way or the Highway» is either the title of or a lyric from a country music song, before it was ever in a rap song. I remember the expression was used a lot in management training in the mid-1990s.

In a 1994 Life Magazine interview with Johnny Cash, he talks about the arguments that went on about who would be on his TV show: «There was grumbling, there were heads huddled, and finally I had to say, ‘It’s either my way or the highway. I’m gone.’ So they went for it.» So the expression has been around at least since 1994.

I think it originally came from country music and then made its way into wider use. It especially became part of the business jargon of the 1990s — as an example of «how not to do things.»

The anti-Bush parody song using that phrase is actually a parody of the song «Rockin’ Down the Highway,» (there’s a website that lists all the anti-Bush songs and parodies) so I’m not sure you can say that the rap song was the source of the parody.

Barry

Barry Katzen

Meaning of Idiom ‘My Way or the Highway’

When someone says my way or the highway, they are giving an ultimatum that means you either have to do what they say or leave or be excluded; agree or leave.

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Usage

This idiom is often comparted to take it or leave it, which means to accept or reject an offer as it stands. There will be no negotiation. This idiom is similar except it means you must either do what someone says or agree with what they say or go away, with no possibility for discussion.

Examples Of Use

“If you want to live in this house, said dad, it’s my way or the highway. You’ll be home by 10:30.”

“If you want to be on this team there is one rule,” said the coach. “It’s my way or the highway.”

“Tom’s the boss. He’s not exactly a tyrant but it’s pretty much his way or the highway.”

Origin

This idiom has been used since the 1970s, chiefly in America.

In English, a highway is any major road such as one connecting big towns or cities or an expressway. Here, it is used to represent a journey or trip to another place.

More Idioms Starting with U

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  • #1

When do you usually use the expression «my way or the high way«?
Does it mean someone does what he/she wants as his/her way regardless of others opinions?

  • elroy

    elroy

    Moderator: EHL, Arabic, Hebrew, German(-Spanish)

    US English, Palestinian Arabic bilingual


    • #2

    Context is indispensable, but you’re on the right track. If I say «it’s my way or the highway,» it means «I’m/We’re/You’re gonna do it my way no matter what. If you have a problem with that, get lost.»

    jinti


    • #3

    I agree with Elroy 100%, but I would add that in this case, highway is one word, meaning a main road.

    So when you say my way or the highway, you’re saying that if you’re not going to do it my way, you better just take that road out of here.

    • #4

    Example: Manager: It’s his way or no way.

    Source: Kitchen Nightmares Season 6 Episode 7

    A restaurant manager complains behind the owner’s back about him running the restaurant like a dictatorship. He has a habit of putting his staff down and refuses to take criticism.

    Does «his way or no way» carry no implication of «get lost»? Or do they mean the same thing? I take it as a less harsh version of «my way or the high way«. (If you don’t agree with me, there’s nothing you can do about it, but I don’t make it clear whether you should get lost or not.)

    PaulQ


    • #5

    «his way or no way» = [you do it] His way or [you do] not [do it] at all. There is no implication that the person spoken to should leave, so it is a different phrase from «my way or the highway«. (NB it is one word -> «highway» (i.e. a road) not two words -> «high way.»)

    • #6

    It seems like you can create many variations based on «my way or XXX way». If the speaker is so sure that his way is the only right way, he can tell the doubters «My way or the wrong way».

    PaulQ


    • #7

    It seems like you can create many variations based on «my way or XXX way». If the speaker is so sure that his way is the only right way, he can tell the doubters «My way or the wrong way».

    :thumbsup:

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