Word for fear of fighting

Do you have a fear of fighting? The truth of the matter is that you may not know the answer. This is a complex condition. There are a number of things associated with a fear of fighting that you are going to want to keep in mind.

What Is A Fear Of Fighting

Before you even go the task of defining fear of fighting, there are a couple of things that you should note. The first thing you should note is the fact that a fear of fighting is not a disorder. The second thing that you are going to want to keep in mind is the fact that a fear of fighting is also not a personal problem.

Therefore, it is important to understand what a fear of fighting actually is: A fear of fighting can be an extremely intensive, overwhelming emotional state. This state can be so powerful, it can actually compel you to give up personal rights, personal property, and much more. The desire to avoid a fight is a natural one. However, there are some who have a fear of fighting that is far more significant and dominating than the normal desire. You may notice that someone who has a fear of fighting has a fear of physical activity of all types. With someone like this, it makes sense that they would also have a fear of fighting.

If you happen to be someone who fears fighting more than others, there are a number of reasons as to why this might be the case. For example, you might be someone who is overly sensitive. You may also be someone whose life choices are often dictated by fear. You may also lack fighting experience, in addition to having a lack of confidence in your fighting abilities. With many of the individuals who have a fear of fighting, it is also possible that this fear comes from a bad life experience.

Again, it is important to remember that fighting is bad. At the same time, there are going to be situations in one’s life, in which the need to defend oneself is absolutely vital. To someone who has a fear of fighting, even these crucial situations are going to be avoided at all costs. This can come with a variety of consequences. It can even put the life of the individual at risk.

Dealing with this fear of fighting can be challenging. Confidence-boosting activities might be the best solution.

Feb 3, 2016

Martial Arts, Self Defense and a Whole Lot More.

Ross posted this video of Chael Sonnon on his blog recently. I liked it a lot. Chael talks about something that is still taboo for most fighters: how to conquer your fear of fighting. Given his usual loudmouth antics, this is pretty surprising coming from Chael and I have nothing but respect for him for stating this publicly. It takes a lot of maturity for a fighter to admit to being afraid; not everybody gets there eventually.

I’m going to approach this article with the viewpoint of MMA and other combat sports but there is overlap for self-defense too. The differences are important though, so please keep that in mind as you read on.

Before I go on, here’s the video:

I can imagine a young fighter like Uriah Hall looking at Chael Sonnen and thinking he’s fearless. I’m pretty sure most MMA enthusiasts who want to compete professionally would think the same thing:

This guy is utterly ferocious in the Octagon. He can’t possibly be afraid.

And then Chael just flat out admits to being afraid, filled with self-doubt and negative voices. Even more, he mentions being in the same spot as Uriah and talking to perhaps the biggest legend in MMA, Randy Couture, about being afraid. Guess what, Randy says he struggles with it constantly and it never goes away.

For the vast majority of people, that’s simply how it is.

I know for a fact that’s how it has always been for me. I’ve never had a fight, inside or outside of the ring, that I didn’t feel fear.

When I was younger and just starting out, I was very much ashamed of this. I thought I was a coward. It took a long time and many fights to eventually understand I wasn’t. It also took a lot of training and studying to figure out how I could conquer my fear of fighting. A huge part of it was realizing there was absolutely nothing wrong with that fear of fighting. It’s nothing but a natural reaction of your body and mind to the potential harm that may come your way once the punches start flying.

Fighting is scary.

It can end with you getting seriously injured, crippled or even a trip to the morgue. That’s just the reality of violence. It’s only normal to understand and recognize that an activity is inherently dangerous. It’s shying away from it when it is necessary that makes you a coward.

The fear, in and of itself, is neutral. It’s what you do with it that makes it positive or negative.

Which is fine and dandy to say but it doesn’t help you one bit right now. So let’s look at how we can go out and conquer it.

How to conquer your fear of fighting

How to conquer your fear of fighting

First things first

There are different levels of violence, for lack of a better word, and they are not equal. The biggest lesson here is that you can’t make assumptions about what goes on on the other levels. What you experience in the one doesn’t automatically prepare you for the other levels.  Each level can have a totally different kind of fear, a different intensity if you will. This isn’t written in stone or anything, it’s just my take on it from having experienced a bunch of those levels personally so feel free to disagree with me on this.

I’ll put them in escalating order of intensity to make it easier but that doesn’t mean one level is easier or more difficult to handle than the others; they’re just different. Here’s the list:

  • First time you spar in the gym.
  • You get tagged good during sparring in the gym.
  • You spar in the gym and your opponent doesn’t stop after he tags you good.
  • First time you compete.
  • You compete and get tagged good.
  • You compete and he injures you.
  • You are injured before you start competing.
  • You compete and you get tired but your opponent does not.
  • You compete and can’t land any shots because the guy is too good.
  • You compete and your best shots don’t seem to have an effect.
  • You compete and are doing great when he suddenly hurts you with a (lucky?) good shot.
  • You compete and after a few exchanges, you realize you can’t beat this guy. He’s better than you and will knock you out.

The list goes on for a while longer but you can see the differences in each scenario. You might be totally comfortable at one level (hard sparring in the gym) and therefor think you can function on all levels. I believe this isn’t automatically true. It might be so for certain people, but more often than not, it isn’t. The real problem is that finding out you were wrong can come at a pretty high cost…

Again, don’t get hung up on the details, you can add a bunch more or different situations to this list. It primarily distinguishes between training at the gym and competing but as you see, there are different levels for both of these. I’ve seen people be totally at ease on one level and then fall apart on another. Hell, I was one of them. Here’s a story from my early years:

I was 15 or 16 and I’d already done lots of sparring with other students in class. We mainly used kicking techniques with moderate to full contact. One day, my teacher had me glove up against one of the instructors (who was 10 years my senior in both age and experience) for some serious sparring. The first move from that guy was a punch that knocked me down.  I counted a bunch of stars twirling around my head and got back up.

He knocked me down a bunch more times, adding kicks to the fun too.

I was scared. I was scared good because he hit me so much harder than all the other students ever had and I didn’t know what to do: he blasted through my defenses and seemed to see all of my attacks coming from a mile away. In a desperation move, I jumped up into the air and right at him, clobbering his face with a downward blow that landed on his brow.

It was a good shot. But it also drew blood.

He wiped his eye with his glove and saw the blood.

I saw the look on his face change: he was going to hurt me bad.

He lunged forward and threw a wild hook at my chin. I launched my head backwards and managed to get clear but just barely.

My teacher had apparently seen enough and stopped the sparring session before I got hurt.

What’s the point of this story? A couple things actually:

  • I thought I could handle myself. My experience consisted only of the sparring I had done with other students and the intensity of those bouts was something I was comfortable with. Facing somebody who cranked up that intensity proved how little prepared I was.
  • I didn’t fight the same way. When I faced that senior guy, I was way less aggressive than against the other students.  Immediately after he knocked me down the first time, I started playing defense and paid a lot more attention to getting out of the way. I also had trouble closing the gap because I was afraid of running into another punch like that.
  • I tried to cope. That first punch also instilled fear in me. I didn’t want to get hit like that again because it hurt. But I tried to up my game and did my utmost to hang in there.
  • It didn’t work. Everything I tried, it failed. Because of his strength, speed and experience, the guy hit me at will. This introduced me to an even deeper fear: the one you feel when you realize you’re at somebody’s mercy. He could have ended it whenever he wanted to; there was nothing I could to to stop him.
  • The worst was still to come. Just when I thought I couldn’t be more scared, I hit him with that jumping punch and he got murder in his eyes. The flash of fear I felt then was a multiple of what I had felt only seconds before. But it gave me wings: I dodged that blow faster than I ever had before.

This sparring session taught me a lot of things, too many to cover here. It also started my personal journey on how to conquer that fear. A fear I didn’t know I had before this session. For the most part, that journey is now over for me, though that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it anymore; I just found some ways to deal with it, ways that seem to work for me and the people I train.

Here are some of them, in the hope that they work for you too.

There are many things you can do to conquer your fear of fighting, too many to mention. Some will work for you, others not so much. Everybody is different so I can’t guarantee results here. But I’ll offer a buffet for you to choose from, techniques I’ve used successfully to some degree or other.

They can be grouped into three categories: Knowledge, Skill/Training and Experience. I believe these three need to be combined to get the best results.

Knowledge is easy to get, there’s an abundance of information on this topic and I’ll list some resources at the end of this post to help you get started. However, getting an in-depth understanding of what it all means takes quite a bit longer. You’ll get there quicker if you also focus on the other two categories.

Skill and Training are what most people focus on and rightfully so. If you don’t know how to fight, if you don’t train for it, you shouldn’t expect to be any good at it and whatever fear you feel then is justified. The more skillful and trained you become, the easier it will be to conquer your fear of fighting because you now have the tools to fight effectively, which improves your odds of coming out on top. This in turn helps you get the next ingredient for this mix: experience.

Experience is equally important as it is by actually fighting that you’ll be able to measure how well you have absorbed the knowledge and how skillful and trained you’ve become. If you fight and win, you’ll have learned something, which means increased knowledge. You’ll also change your training to improve what went wrong and exploit even more what went well. However, the most important part is that you now have irrefutable proof that you managed to conquer your fear of fighting. This will go a long way in helping you conquer it the next time and the cumulative effect is what can give you confidence despite the fear perhaps never going away completely.

If you lose, it can be a shattering experience. I’ve seen competitors retire after a first fight that went badly. Others keep going but they’re never the same again. Still others use it as motivation to train harder. They learn from their mistakes and try to move on. I believe this last one is the best way to approach such a loss. It may not be easy but it sure beats the alternatives.

Knowledge

Let’s start with a couple of things you need to wrap your mind around. They aren’t techniques as such but they will help you reach the right mindset to use the techniques I explain below. Here goes:

  • Don’t take it personally. Don’t think there is something wrong with you because you feel afraid to fight or feel fear every time you do. Even though it might not feel that way to you, there’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed about it because it’s only natural. Only a very low percentage of all people feel no fear at all when fighting. But they usually have other psychological issues and you probably don’t want to trade with them. The others who don’t feel fear are the idiots who haven’t yet realized they aren’t immortal and that fighting is dangerous…
  • Learn about the psychological and physiological side of fear. Especially if you feel intense fear, learn about what goes on in your mind and body when it goes through an adrenal stress event. This has been studied extensively and reading up on this will help squash that nagging voice in your head that whispers you’re the only one who feels fear. By the way: your opponent feels the exact same thing as you…
  • Fear manifests itself in different ways to different people. Some people tremble. Others feel light-headed or feel their stomach turn. Or their minds go blank and they freeze. Still others don’t manifest a lot of symptoms and don’t even realize they’re afraid until afterward. Or they have negative, destructive thoughts undermining their fighting spirit. It’s different for everybody and it can also change from one fight to the other.
  • There is no one-size-fits-all solution, no matter what people try to sell you. People are all different. Situations and contexts too. What works for you might not work for somebody else and vice versa. Sure, certain things seem to work for a large portion of people but that doesn’t guarantee success for you personally. Keep trying until you find an approach that works.
  • Accept that you can’t win every fight. Very few fighters win every single match. Eventually, they lose some. The same will happen to you. If you can accept this will happen to you too, the fear of losing will no longer be an issue and you can focus on beating your opponent instead.
  • Accept that fights are unpredictable. You might dominate your opponent throughout the rounds when he suddenly hits you with a powerful shot out of nowhere and your lights go out. That’s just the nature of fighting; it’s a fickle thing and you can’t completely control it. If you can accept that on a fundamental level, you can focus on implementing your strategy and tactics.
  • Accept that fights can leave you injured, crippled or dead. This is a big one. Every year, fighters die in the ring and the cage. Every year, some get seriously injured, sometimes permanently. You shouldn’t be naive about this, it’s a valid concern that makes it perhaps the most powerful source of the fear you feel. If you can accept at a gut level that this might happen to you too, then you’re on your way to conquering your fear.
  • Do all you can. Don’t come to the ring or cage unprepared. Before the first punch is thrown, you have to be able to tell yourself you did your utmost to prepare for this fight. If you did, you can face whatever comes next with a calm derived from the knowledge that you couldn’t be prepared better. If you didn’t, then that nagging voice of doubt you hear all the time will get louder and louder. It’ll tell you you should have trained more, trained harder, started earlier, etc. And it will be right this time too. You’ll know deep down that you didn’t do everything you could have. As a result, you know that you should be afraid and the fear will become bigger because of it. Do all you can so you can start each fight with the knowledge that you’re as ready as you’ll ever going to be.
  • Know why you fight. This is the most important one: why do you fight? Strangely enough, many fighters are conflicted about their motives to step into the cage, even if they don’t always know this on a conscious level. This leads to doubts, followed by fear. If you know why you fight, you can be more focused on the task at hand: beating your opponent.

Some of these points took me a long time to get. Others came relatively quickly. I think these are some of the more important keys to overcoming your fear and recommend you spend some time considering them.

If you want to see this in action, take a look at this clip of a young Mike Tyson right before a fight:

Yes, that’s Iron Mike Tyson being stressed out of his mind, crying and very much afraid. But he uses it as a release for all the pre-fight stress and get into the right mindset. Watch how he flips the switch when he starts shadowboxing on the way back in.

Here’s the thing: if Tyson, who during his prime was feared by all heavyweights, can be scared before a fight, it’s OK for you to be so too. Take a hint from Mike and use it to get fired up and fight even harder.

Skill and Training

Charles Staley explains Tudor Bompa’s system of classifying different aspects of training in his excellent book, “The Science of Martial Arts Training.” This system helps you analyze your training methods but also creates a hierarchy for training in which each level of the pyramid supports and prepares the others. Here’s what it looks like:

how to conquer your fear of fighting
Bompa’s pyramid of training priorities

Here’s how you can interpret this hierarchy:

  • The base of the pyramid is training physical attributes: power, speed, endurance, etc. That’s what you spend the most time on. Especially in MMA, you need to be in peak physical condition when you step into the cage. Anything less and you aren’t as ready as you could be (see above.) However, if this level isn’t solid, you’ll quickly be too tired to do good techniques or lack the power or speed to land them effectively. This means you can’t implement the strategy you prepared, which causes you to doubt yourself, and voila: fear!
  • No matter how good a shape you’re in, you’ll eventually get tired. The better your techniques, the less of those physical resources you need to use: you won’t gas as quickly, simply because you don’t waste energy. You also hit harder with good technique, which makes it more difficult for your opponent to ignore your punches and kicks. This in turn makes implementing your strategy easier and that then strengthens your mindset. In other words, it keeps the fear at bay.
  • The first two levels revolve around resources and tools. The strategic and tactical level is about how and when to use them. Don’t assume your opponent will be an idiot. Expect him to be as good as you or better and you need a strategy to beat him with sound tactics. When you have both, it’s easier to land your techniques and pressure your opponent. There’s nothing more confidence-building and fear-squashing than completely dominating an opponent…
  • Finally, we get to the psychological part. No matter how good the previous levels are, if you lack the right mindset and fighting spirit, it’s all for nothing. A typical example of this is the guy who is terrifying in the gym and then loses all his skill when he steps into the cage. This is also the level most people want to “fix” first when they try to conquer their fear of fighting. But as you can see from the pyramid, it needs to be supported by all the other levels first. Only then will the work you do to harden your fighting spirit yield lasting results.

So how do you train that final psychological level to overcome your fear? Here are a couple things you can try:

  • Procedures. Implement procedures for everything you need to do when you compete: Have a list of items to pack, pack your bag or suitcase in the same way every single time so everything is always in place. Make sure you have your competition schedule, itinerary and flight tickets printed out and packed in the same place as always. If that doesn’t apply, make sure the car has a full tank of gas the day before. And so on. Knowing you have all those little details squared away avoids anxiety because you know you don’t have to handle any last-minute problems. It’s those little things added on top of your regular pre-fight stress than can push you over the top and create tremendous anxiety. So get rid of all doubt and make sure these are taken care of.
  • Positive self-talk. I don’t mean the phony new-age crap; I mean not chastising yourself all the time. Instead of thinking “Fuck! How the hell did I miss with that kick? I suck!” you should think “Fuck! I missed! How can I make sure that doesn’t happen again? I wanna be better than this!” By stating it in a positive manner, you make it easier to train hard enough to correct that mistake. If you only focus on negative thoughts, you’ll give up much quicker. Like Henry Ford said: whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right. So always think “Yes, I can!”
  • Confront that little voice. That little voice in your head, the one that whispers all those negative things in your ear, it has one big problem: it doesn’t have any other advice than telling you to give up. It doesn’t offer actual solutions, it doesn’t offer help. So whenever you hear that voice once again, ask it which solution it proposes other than quitting? You’ll hear nothing but silence then… Consider this: if it doesn’t offer any help anyway, why would you listen to it?
  • Practice combat breathing. There are many systems of breathing you could use but this one is both a good start and it has a great track record. It’s very simple: Breathe in through the nose for a four-count, count to four while you hold your breath, breathe out through the mouth for four counts, hold for another four-count and you’re done with one cycle. Repeat for four cycles in total. This breathing method can help you control the adrenaline dump you experience right before fighting. However, it works best if you already practiced it a lot. Don’t expect the fear to disappear suddenly but you should regain some control over it.
  • Practice relaxation techniques. A typical consequence of intense fear is tensing up your muscles. This causes both mental and physical fatigue and wears you out before your fight. But you can learn to control this by practicing a relaxation method that works for you. I personally use and teach progressive muscle relaxation to fighters and clients because it’s easy to practice and yields results fast. You can count out the cues yourself or use an MP3 course if you prefer. The key is to practice it long enough so you can relax specific muscles at will. Sounds difficult but it isn’t, you just need to put in the work. It helps for falling asleep too if you’re having problems with that the night before the fight.
  • Meditate. The same applies to breathing training: there are a gazillion methods of meditation so it might take some time before you find one that works best for you. That said, stay away from the mystical, woo-woo stuff;  you don’t need it. The reason you want to meditate is to discipline your mind, to get more control over it. This takes as much training as learning how to do a choke hold or any other technique correctly. I’ll add a book to help you get started in the resources section below.
  • Visualize. Scientific research has proven that watching a video of your last fight will stimulate your body in a similar way to when you are actually fighting. To a degree, your brain is fooled into thinking it’s the same thing. The problem with looking at the video is that you can’t fix what went wrong but when you visualize, you control the scenario that plays out in your mind’s eye. Focus on your techniques and strategies for your upcoming fight and visualize yourself performing everything perfectly. In essence, you’re self-hypnotizing or pre-programming the right responses into your mind. The key is again regular practice but also including lots of detail in your scenarios: make the movie you see in your mind’s eye vivid and clear but also include all your other senses to make it as realistic an experience as possible.
  • Implement mental triggers. This is the most powerful method of fear management I know. I used it extensively near the end of my competitive years and it worked exceptionally well. The downside is that it’s also dangerous; not everybody can handle this type of programming long-term. Or they end up programming the wrong responses. Or they end up becoming bullies, assholes, or much worse. Here’s how it works: In a way, you break off certain pieces of your mind and puzzle them back together. Then you lock them up in a box. Then you install a mental on/off switch, the trigger. A little before the referee says “Fight!” you flip the switch and basically turn into another person: a ferocious fighter with cat-like reflexes, perfect technique and an indomitable will to win. This is an advanced way of “psyching yourself up”, one that is much more effective than just shouting or puffing your chest like so many fighters do. I wrote a 14-page in-depth tutorial on this subject in Loren’s Solo Training 2 if you want more details. But be careful with this method and seek help from a therapist if you aren’t sure how to do this.

All these techniques can be used to control pre-fight anxiety (days/weeks leading up to the fight) and also on the day of the event itself when you have to wait for hours before you’re up. I’ve stated it several times already but I’ll repeat it again because it’s crucial: you need to practice these techniques just as much as your punches, kicks, throws, and ground game. If you don’t or you only put in a mediocre effort, don’t expect results.

Experience

Now we get to the final and perhaps most important tool to help you conquer your fear of fighting: the fighting itself. Like in every other sport, the more you compete, the more actual experience you get, the better you can do. The keyword is “can” because not everybody learns from their mistakes. Some fighters make the same ones over and over because they don’t analyze their fights.  Eventually, their opponents notice this and use it against them. This causes self-doubt and fear in those fighters because they keep on getting nailed when they use certain techniques and tactics. Then they don’t use these techniques as much anymore and end up becoming predictable, one-dimensional fighters who are even easier to beat than before. Hello, vicious circle…

Experience is only useful if you learn from it. Learning from you experiences requires analysis and methodology. In other words, you need to work at it. I’ll cover that some more here below but first some other things you can do to get more experience:

  • Avoid negative experiences early on. For many fighters, the root of their fear is the trauma of sparring or competing against a superior opponent too early in their career. Some gyms make this their hallmark: they put a new, untrained guy against an experienced fighter in a rough sparring session to test his mettle. The newbie gets banged up a bit so the coach can see if he has fighting spirit or not. If so, they take him on. If not, he is either asked to leave or is put in the general group of students who aren’t given as much attention because they aren’t good enough by the coach’s standards (they do pay the gym’s bills with their fees though…) I am very much against this, even though I can understand why certain coaches do this. I believe it is detrimental to a fighter in the long run. My approach is to have a beginner practice solo in front of the mirror and on the heavy bag for the first few weeks. Then they start working on techniques with a partner and after a few months (when I judge them ready) they can step into the group that does sparring. In my experience, this works better than beating the crap out of them on day one. If this happened to you, understand that it isn’t your fault you sucked during that first sparring session: the deck was stacked against you, and you couldn’t win. So your fear is based on a faulty premise: just because you got beat up by an experienced fighter, doesn’t mean you can never become good yourself.
  • Manage your career progressively. This is similar to the previous bullet but now concerns your competitive career: don’t just fight opponents at a whim but select them carefully. If you fight opponents you aren’t ready for, you’ll get beat up and feel more fear in the future. If you fight opponents that are tough but you can beat them if you fight hard (and are a little lucky), then you grow as a fighter and develop confidence in your abilities. This confidence is solid because it comes from your proven track record: every time you beat an opponent, you build up trust in your own capabilities on a deep emotional and psychological level. The more you do so, the less fear you will fear and/or the easier you will be able to manage it. So don’t go for the championship belt right away. Pick your opponents wisely to build up your skills and experience so you always benefit the most from each individual fight.
  • Increase sparring intensity progressively. Once you have the basic techniques for offense and defense ingrained, start with some relaxed sparring. Just wet your feet, no hard contact. When you’re comfortable with that, increase the speed of the techniques but not the contact. Next step, increase the contact level gradually until you can handle full-on sparring. This allows you to get used to the different levels of intensity. Whenever you go to the next level and start flailing, panicking or making lots of technical errors, you know you aren’t ready for it. Just dial it down a notch again and spend more time on that previous level before you try the rougher sparring again. Your goal is to keep your skills intact when you step up to the next level, not lose them.
  • Practice what you hate. Most fighters have techniques or ranges they aren’t comfortable with. When they are forced to use these or fight there, they panic. Personally, I had good kicking techniques early on but my boxing sucked. So I trained hard to trust my fists more by spending a lot of time practicing hand techniques and sparring at punching range. It wasn’t fun but I eventually became more skilled there. Instead of feeling fear when an opponent came in close where my kicks were useless, I didn’t feel afraid anymore because I no longer lacked the skill to fight there. The more experience I got at boxing range, the easier it became and the less fear I felt. Though I’ll probably never be a great boxer, I can hold my own now and don’t worry about it anymore like at first. Apply the same reasoning to your least preferred techniques/range and get rid of another source of fear for you.
  • Analyze your sparring sessions and fights. Buy a cheap tripod and camcorder, put it in the corner at the gym and record your sparring sessions and fights. You can also use a tablet or cellphone if you prefer (check out my how to use an Android tablet for martial arts training post for more on that.) It’s always better if your coach does the analysis with you but failing that, do it yourself. Try to take your ego out of the equation and make an honest assessment of how you performed. This means focusing on neither the good nor the bad alone, but listing them both along with the mediocre parts. Create a spreadsheet on your computer with three columns (good, bad and mediocre) and write down what you see in each round along with a time code for easy reference. What to look for? Footwork, technical errors, keeping your guard up, timing mistakes, strategy and tactics, adequate levels of physical attributes (speed, power, endurance), etc. When you finish, read through the list and think about it some more: is it true what you wrote or are you exaggerating in either direction? Watch the footage again and correct any notes that weren’t 100% accurate. The next step is to find solutions to all the problems you identified and plan your following training sessions accordingly. Simultaneously, analyze why the things you did great worked so well. Figure out variations for those, other set-ups, etc. so you can get even better at them. Then set out some training time for that too. Do all this for every fight and every two to three weeks for sparring sessions. This way you’ll not only have experience, but you’ll also actually improve your skills and work on your weaknesses. When you do this consistently, you will conquer your fear of fighting faster because you’ll know you are better than you were before. How do you know? Because you went back to your notes from earlier sessions or fights and notice you don’t make the same mistakes anymore. This kind of knowledge, rooted in actual experience, is one of the best antidotes to your fear of fighting.

Conclusion

For many people, it takes a long time to conquer their fear of fighting. It takes a lot of time, blood, sweat and tears. Don’t expect easy results right away. Others, they go through the process a lot faster. There’s no way to know how it’ll go for you so accept that you’ll just go at your own pace, however fast or slow that may be. Whatever the rate of progress, chances are you’ll never completely get rid of your fear of fighting.

That’s why this article is titled “How to conquer your fear of fighting” and not “How to stop being afraid of fighting.” It’s about finding a way to manage that fear, to use it in a constructive manner instead of letting it consume you.

Remember how Randy Couture said it: even after all his victories in the cage, after fighting huge battles in there, he still struggles with it. He still can’t get rid of the doubt and negative thoughts.

I found this to be consistently true for almost every single fighter I ever met: they can never completely get rid of the fear.

Some of them refuse to say this in public because they think it isn’t a manly thing to do. Others play it down or don’t admit just how much it really bothers them. Still others hide it behind their antics and chest-thumping bravado. Regardless, they all try to find ways to conquer their fear and fight to the best of their abilities.

With this article, I want to give you some tools to help you with your own quest for controlling your fear. The things I mentioned here have worked for me personally as well as for my students and clients. But I repeat, you have to find what works for you, usually by trial and error.  That alone takes a lot of work and once you figure out what you need, you have even more work to do.

I wish there were a shortcut but I don’t believe there is one. The only thing I can offer here is that the alternative to all that work is a lifetime of being dominated by your fear. That’s not going to help you as a fighter. On the contrary, it’ll make sure you never compete at 100% of your potential. It’s also a lousy way to live your life.

Instead, try out some of the ideas I mentioned here and keep going until you reach your goal of conquering your fear of fighting. Never give up.

My upcoming book on this topic

Since I announced the title of this article on my Facebook page yesterday, I was surprised to receive a ton of email from MMA fighters. Apparently, this topic struck a nerve and they all asked for in-depth information on this topic. For those of you who contacted me, I can’t answer all your questions in this article even though it’s already well over 6000 words long. So I decided to write a full-length book about it and am now in the process of creating the outline. The tentative title is:

How to conquer your fear of fighting.

Your guide to overcoming fear in the ring or Octagon

If you have specific questions you’d like me to answer in the book or a particular topic you’d like to see included, just post it in the comments section here below. I can’t promise I’ll include it but I’ll consider all requests.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this article and wish you lots of fun training and competing.

Resources

Here are links to the resources I mentioned in the article and some more too.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. A primer on fear. What causes it, what’s its function and how to use it. A good starting point to learn about fear.

On Killing and On Combat by Dave Grossman and Loren W. Christensen. These books offer a detailed insight in how the mind and body operates under the adrenal stress of combat. Must haves, both of them.

Warrior Mindset by Michael Asken, Dave Grossman and Loren W. Christensen. A practical guide to help you train your mind for combat.

Warriors: Updated & Expanded Edition. More On Living with Courage, Discipline, and Honor by Loren W. Christensen. I wrote a piece on fear when fighting in the ring for this book. It covers a few other aspects from those I mentioned here.

Periodization-5th Edition: Theory and Methodology of Training by Tudor Bompa. Any serious athlete needs to read this book. It explains step by step how to train and why you need to do things a certain way. There is not a single elite athlete that doesn’t use these principles.

The Science of Martial Arts Training by Charles I Staley. In many ways, this is an introductory version of “Periodization” by Bompa. It’s not as dry, not as in-depth and easier to apply. So if you don’t feel like getting Bompa’s huge book, try this one first.

Solo Training 2 by Loren W. Christensen. I wrote a chapter for Loren’s book called “8 ways to create and use mental triggers.” It’s an in-depth tutorial on how to do just that.

Progressive Relaxation & Autogenic Training by Carolyn McManus. Learn how to control your tension levels and relax muscles at will.

Meditation for Warriors: Practical Meditation for Cops, Soldiers and Martial Artists

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Sometimes, you need prayers to overcome fear, avoid regret, and claim victory. When you don’t know how to pray, one of these prayers can get you started.

Prayers for fear Pinterest image

Regret feels ugly.

Oily and insidious, it seeps into your life like a noxious gas. It doesn’t kill you but it leaves you feeling nauseous and sick.

Regret sneaks up on you so slowly that you don’t feel its threat until you’re choking on memories.

Missed opportunities.  Unchased dreams. Unrealized potential.

Lost time.

Regret smothers you when you think of all that could have been.  It brings you to your knees and strangles you with your own tears.

If only you hadn’t let fear stop you.

Fear Brings Regret

The bitterest regret comes when you look back at what your life could have been…if only you had made different choices.

Choices that weren’t driven by fear. Fear of not being liked.  Of going against the norm.  Of failing.

I don’t want regret for you. But if you keep making fear-based decisions, it will eventually find you.

Wait, though! You can stop choosing fear. You can fight fear and sidestep regret by choosing courage instead.

But let’s be realistic.  After all this time of choosing fear, it’s unlikely that you’ll suddenly and independently start choosing courage.

Others can say, “Just do it!  Just jump in and do it!” all they want.  But how? Something always stops you.

Ready for good news?  You have a powerful weapon at your disposal.  It’s called…prayer.

3 Prayers For Fear-Fighting

Sometimes praying against fear is as simple as whispering, “Lord, please give me the courage I need to do this!”

Woman praying in the dark

But at other times, it’s an all-out war.  For those times, choose one of these prayers for fighting fear, that will help you suit up and charge into battle.

Prayers For Fear: Remember Who You Serve

Regret uses your memories of wasted time and opportunities to try and kill your future. But you can use your memories of Who you serve to reclaim it.


Father God, I lift my eyes, my heart, and my arms to you in praise.  Who is there like You? You made heaven and earth. In fact, You made everything!

You command the morning and knit together every living thing.  You position every star and constellation in the sky. Plus, You appoint a time for everything. Lord, You’re timeless and constant, never changing. You exist before, through and above all things.

I praise You, my God, for Your might and for Your wonderful works.  I stand in awe that You who created everything, my Lord God almighty, have given Your word to be my light and my defense.  And I know You will, because Your word is irrefutable and Your promises are sure. Not one word that You speak ever fails.

Forget about earthly armies; You are God of the armies of heaven!  Who can triumph over You, Lord? And why should I be afraid? My soul knows very well that no-one and nothing can stand against You.

So I bow now before You in awe.  As I surrender my fear to You, I know that You go ahead of me and that You send your angels to stand guard over me.

Receive my praise and gratitude, Lord, as I receive Your grace and encouragement.  Amen.


When fear makes you forget who is in charge of your life, stir up your memories of who God is and all He’s done.  Let them remind you that you don’t need to fear.

Prayers For Fear: Remember Who You Are

Regret will pin you down with memories of how you failed. But you can use your memories of who you are to rise above your failures.


Lord God, I come to You on my knees in surrender.  You see what I’m facing — this thing that’s scaring me out of my mind.  I feel frozen by fear and overcome by anxiety.

But even as I’m tempted to cower, I remember that Your word says You haven’t given me a spirit of fear.  Therefore, this feeling is not from You and it doesn’t honor you. This feeling is me surrendering territory to the enemy of my soul.

You remind me that You stand for me, that You care for me, and that You work out everything to my good because I love you.

You remind me that I’m Your child because I have received You and believed in Your name.  I’m Your child!  I’m family to You and You care for me through every circumstance in my life.

You’ve also promised that even as I walk through the darkest valley, You’re with me to guide and comfort me.

Knowing all this, I have to ask: what circumstance can be bigger than You?  What can anyone do to me that I can’t overcome with and through Your Holy Spirit?

So thank You, Lord, for reminding me that I have no reason to fear whatever surrounds me.  Because You are my unfailing God, Who has given me a spirit of power, love and sound judgment.  Amen.

When fear grips your heart and mind, and you forget who you are — and aren’t — beat it back with your memories of who God says you are.

Prayers For Fear: Remember What He’s Promised

Regret will stop you in your tracks with memories of times when you didn’t get what you yearned for.  No matter how hard you tried or prayed.

But you can use your sure knowledge of what God has promised you to stand firm in faith.


I turn to You now, oh God, in thanksgiving for every promise You’ve made to me. You promise:

  • to deliver me from all of my fears when I seek you, and that I don’t need to be afraid when I put my trust in You.
  • to never leave me nor forsake me and to come to my rescue.
  • that You’re with me and that You’ll help me and hold me up.
  • to sustain me and never let me fall because You’re my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer.
  • that You’re working all of this together for my good because I have been called according to Your purpose.
  • that You’re my ever-present help.
  • to deliver me from all my fears, if I pray.

I stand now on every promise that You’ve made to me, Lord, knowing that Your faithfulness is my strength and my shield.  Knowing that, no matter what my natural eyes see and what my earth-bound heart wants, You are undoubtedly at work in unseen ways.

On top of that, Your mercy and compassion towards me never fail.  They are new every morning.

So saturate me, Lord, with the courage I need to face my circumstances. Knowing that You are not a man so You do not lie, and that You never speak empty words.

With Your promises hidden in my heart, I receive Your peace that passes all understanding.  Amen.


When fear makes you doubt what God has in store for you, go back to His promises to you.

Courage Brings Victory

Sometimes, by worldly standards, victory looks like failure.

But victory by God’s standard is seizing courage and standing in faith against fear.

It’s refusing to add one more minute to time already wasted.  It’s ignoring naysayers. And it’s pivoting to pursue God’s way.

Victory, my darling, is kicking fear in the teeth and leaving no room for regret to poison your life.

So pray. Then take hold of courage and claim your victory over fear and regret. Right now.

Woman with arms raised to heaven

For he himself has said, I will never leave you or abandon you.  Therefore, we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?

Hebrews 13:5b-6 (CSB)

i spent years in traditional striking arts like Karate and taekwondo, and never really got over that fear of fighting, and when i did spar, sometimes i would have good days, and other times bad days, and i couldn’t really tell what i was doing differently, or what part of the decision making process was leading to success or failure.

Then i got involved in the grappling arts, submission fighting especially for me, allowed me to have full matches at pace, and every match reached a conclusion, submission, dominant position etc, and within a very short time, it became easy to analyze my performance and figure out what parts of my game were strong and led to success, and what parts where letting me down and being taken advantage of.

Going back to striking arts i found i was much better equipped to analyze my performance, break down my game, and was far less fearful of a face paced, possibly dangerous match, because grappling had given my body a robustness, that helped me to deal with the blows.

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Fear of fights is not a disorder

It’s very important to know that fear of fights is neither a disorder nor a personal problem.

However if this fear is so intense so that it forces you let go of your rights in order to avoid getting involved into a fight then you must take actions to get rid of such a fear.

normal people don’t like to fight

As normal people we should not be happy to find ourselves involved in a fight because we may hurt someone, hurt ourselves or even both. However some people tend to have less appetite for physical activities than other people.

They like to avoid physical effort of all kinds and of course this makes the idea of fighting terrifying to them.

why do I fear fights more than others?

The answer to this question lies within one of the following possibilities. One or more of them may be the cause of your fear. Read them all to know more about yourself and to get rid of the fear of fights:

  • oversensitivity and fear:are you an overly sensitive person? over sensitive people tend to hate physical activities much more than other people. If you are an over sensitive person then most probably one of your tasks in life will be trying to avoid fights or severe physical activities at any cost.
  • lack of fighting experience: do you remember the first time you started driving a car? Weren’t you a little afraid? Am sure you were more afraid than you are now after driving for years. Self confidence in doing a certain activity is built when an activity is done many times successfully. If you have never got involved into a fight before then most probably you will fear fights more than someone who gets involved into a new fight everyday.
  • Lack of confidence in your fighting abilities: The reason for fear of fights could be lack of confidence in your ability to win the fight. After all if you were sure one hundred percent that you could win the fight then you will never become afraid. Practicing any kind of martial arts training will reduce that fear gradually.
  • Bad previous experience: If you were beaten in fights many times before then you will certainly fear new fights. Your mind in such a case will be afraid that the past repeats itself

finally, fighting is bad

Fighting is a bad activity. you should not get involved into a fight unless you have no other choice. If you fight often then make sure you learn more about anger management.

Although fighting is bad, being not sure of your abilities to defend yourself is bad too. Its very helpful to start martial arts training. Aikido is the most recommended martial art because of many reasons. Its not a violent sport so in case you are sensitive you wont find training a bad experience.

Aikido is a one hundred percent defensive game where you can never start a move unless your opponent attacks first. Aikido techniques are very effective if mastered, however the only draw back to aikido is that it takes more time to be learned compared to other martial arts like boxing or kung fu.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

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Предложения:
fighting near


На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать грубую лексику.


На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать разговорную лексику.


«Fighting fear with fear».


Fighting fear with fear doesn’t work.



Любовь со страхом не живет


The good news is that fighting fear is actually not that difficult.



Хорошая новость состоит в том, что в действительности, победить неуверенность не так сложно.


You can start fighting fear by studying the water element.


We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression.



«Мы больше не боремся со страхами, злостью, чувствами вины, жалости к себе или депрессией».


Seriously, this is a BIG weapon in fighting fear.



Не говоря уже о том, что это эффективное оружие для борьбы со страхом.


As a consequence, instead of fighting fear and pain, the body can focus all its energy in recovering from the condition.



В результате, вместо того, чтобы бороться со страхом и болью, тело сможет направить всю свою энергию на выздоровление.


Fighting Fear of What Other People Think about You


But tourism is also creating bonds among people of all nations and backgrounds, bringing down stereotypes and fighting fear and distrust , said UNWTO Secretary-General, Taleb Rifai.



Туризм также создаёт связи между людьми всех наций и слоев, уничтожая стереотипы и борясь против страха и недоверия» — сказал Генеральный секретарь Всемирной организации по туризму Талеб Рифаи.


Girl Guides and Girl Scouts can earn the AIDS Badge by undertaking activities in three areas of the badge’s curriculum: fighting fear, shame and injustice; prevention through change in behaviour; and care and support for people living with HIV and AIDS.



Девушки-гиды и скауты могут получить значок борца со СПИДом, работая в трех областях деятельности: избавление от страха, стыда и несправедливости; профилактика через изменение поведения; и уход и поддержка людей, живущих с ВИЧ и СПИДом.


Fighting Fear with Frank Bruno

Другие результаты


Be friendly, good spirits help in fighting fears.



Будьте дружелюбны, хорошее расположении духа помогает в борьбе с боязнями.


However, for successful development of parkour, a person must also know himself, correctly assessing his capabilities, noticing shortcomings (in fact only in this case they can be successfully eradicated), fighting fears, striving to achieve harmony between body and spirit.



Однако для успешного освоения паркура человек должен также познать себя, правильно оценивая свои возможности, замечая недостатки (ведь лишь в этом случае их можно успешно искоренить), борясь со страхами, стремясь достичь гармонии между телом и духом.


Most of these involve fighting my fears.


Prayer: Father, I’m tired of fighting this fear.


Fighting with fear, a person weakens energetically, because a negative emotion sucks out all energy.



Сражаясь с боязнью, человек слабеет энергетически, поскольку отрицательная эмоция высасывает всю энергию.


Reversibility: I can learn ways of facing situations and fighting my fears.



Обратимость: Я могу научиться смотреть проблемам в лицо и бороться со своими страхами.


And most of all, SHE WAS FIGHTING WITH FEAR.


It is also a great way of fighting your fears and self-doubt.


Desperately fighting with fears, friendly offspring are trying to justify the trust of adoptive parents.



Отчаянно сражаясь со страхами, дружные отпрыски пытаются оправдать доверие приемных родителей.

Ничего не найдено для этого значения.

Результатов: 263. Точных совпадений: 11. Затраченное время: 262 мс

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