Imagine if you had to be with someone every single second, a person that you don’t accept, let alone love, it wouldn’t be so pleasant, right? Now imagine not accepting yourself.
One of the topics in my 21 Day Self Love Course is self-acceptance. As I took feedback from my students, they mentioned wanting to learn more about this topic, and coincidentally, I had planned to write it anyway! So, today let’s deep dive into self-acceptance and how to bring it into our lives.
So, what is self-acceptance? I guess you already know implicitly, but let me put it across in direct terms. Self-acceptance is embracing yourself just as you are. There are no conditions attached. You accept yourself fully.
It’s really important to bring in our lives because we are choosing to live. And, in every moment of life, we are with ourselves. Imagine if you had to be with someone every single second, a person that you don’t accept, let alone love, it wouldn’t be so pleasant, right?
Now imagine not accepting yourself. If self-acceptance isn’t there, the quality of our life diminishes. And, since you and I are here, we both want the best for ourselves.
We want to take care of ourselves. Otherwise, why would we be on a platform that helps people become better friends with themselves? Self-acceptance is a big part of this.
Now that we’ve understood its importance, let’s learn how to attain true self-acceptance.
- Understand that it accelerates self-improvement
- Use introspection to support you
- Be kind to yourself
3 Steps to True Self-Acceptance
1. Understand that it accelerates self-improvement
Self-improvement and acceptance go hand in hand. In fact, self-acceptance helps you become better.
Let me quote myself from my course — Acceptance should not be postponed to the point when we feel that we are as perfect as it’s possible for us to be. This doesn’t mean that we’re looking at our flaws as good things, we’re just accepting them as they are in us.
People can only work on themselves when they are aware of what is there, accept that it is a part of them that they should improve, and then work on making it better.
It’s a very simple concept, really. And, the simplest things are sometimes the hardest to practice. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to achieve, and whoever you want to become, the person that you are right now is the one who’s going to take you there.
Related: 5 Steps to Increase Your Self-Awareness
2. Use introspection to support you
As you choose to accept yourself, take your time to introspect on the part of yourself that you have not fully embraced. There might be a few things that you already know, but there might be more, and introspection is going to help you recognize them. It can be anything,
- Things about your past
- The way you speak
- How you deal with shock
- What you think of people you’ve lost contact with
Some questions that you can ask yourself are:
- What would you prefer to do less of?
- What would you like to do more of?
- What frustrates you the most?
- What are you holding onto that you need to forgive yourself for?
- What have you been holding on to that you need let go of?
- What do you not like about yourself?
- How can you be more accepting of yourself?
- What do you judge yourself for that you know is unfair?
- What do you like about yourself as a friend? How can you do more of that for yourself?
Use a journal to help with this. As answers turn up, you have to first accept all of it. Then, choose what you want to work on. Don’t start despising yourself for anything.
Create a judgment-free zone for yourself. Whatever is, is. Remember that self-acceptance is about embracing yourself just as you are, with no conditions attached.
Related: 70+ Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection
3. Be kind to yourself
It’s important for us to remember that all of this will take time, patience, and repeated efforts. We can’t force ourselves to feel something. Remember that it’s not going to happen right when you decide to.
But, step by step, as you keep compassionately reminding yourself, you’ll get there. Wholeheartedly accepting all that you are is not a quick win, but it definitely is something that will open the doorway leading you to form a beautiful relationship with yourself.
Positive affirmations can help you greatly here. Here are affirmations for self-acceptance from my self-love course:
- I am exactly who I need to be at this moment.
- I accept myself just as I am.
- I choose to love and accept myself.
- I bring consciousness instead of judgment to myself.
- I am willing to accept my wholeness.
- I choose wholeness.
- I celebrate all of who I am.
- My imperfections make me beautiful.
- I accept everything in my life.
- I am at peace with myself.
Keep affirming these affirmations to yourself. One day, these words will truly become your voice.
And, that’s it! I hope you found this helpful. I’m happy to see that you made it to the end of this post, and proud of you for making this effort. Do share it with someone who you think might need it. Take care 
👉 Continue reading:
Gratitude — The One Thing We All Need
How to Enjoy Life As It Is
6 Real Ways to be True to Yourself
Take the 15-day New Year Challenge
The writer and affirmations speaker at Gratitude, Aarushi believes that one of the most effective ways of feeling inner peace is by being grateful and having a loving self-relationship.
Once you accept you are being judged by people who have less knowledge than yourself, then what’s it worth?
It’s at the heart of everything we struggle with in life: longing to be valuable, to be accepted, to be prized, to be worth something to somebody, to have a life that matters, and God’s saying ‘You matter! I didn’t make anyone else like you. You’re not a reprint or a lithograph. You’re a one-of-a-kind, original creation of God.
Love yourself-accept yourself-forgive yourself-and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
When you complain, you make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it, all else is madness.
Health, wealth, beauty, and genius are not created;
they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind-that is, by your concept of yourself, and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true.
Above all trust in the slow work of God.
Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
You have to accept the fact that some people are never going to be for you.
Treat them with respect, but you don’t need their approval to fulfill your destiny.
It is impossible to call yourself a Christian and defend homosexuality.
There is no justification or acceptance of homosexuality… Homosexuality means the death of society because homosexuals can recruit, but they cannot reproduce.
Spare yourself from seeking love, approval, or appreciation-from anyone.
And watch what happens in reality, just for fun.
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are
Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.
The rose does best as a rose. Lilies make the best lilies. And look! You — the best you around!
Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.
Everything which you can conceive and accept is yours! Entertain no doubt.
Refuse to accept worry or hurry or fear. That which knows and does everything is inside you and harkens to the slightest whisper.
To be beautiful means to be yourself.
You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.
Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings, you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them.
It is easy enough to tell the poor to accept their poverty as Gods will when you yourself have warm clothes and plenty of food and medical care and a roof over your head and no worry about the rent. But if you want them to believe youtry to share some of their poverty and see if you can accept it as Gods will yourself!
The most important point is to accept yourself and stand on your two feet.
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.
We’re a new generation of people. We need to be happy. We need to love each other. We need to accept each other for who we are and stop judging each other. Live life and love. Stop judging just to keep yourself secure. Look deeper. There’s always something deeper than what it is.
Be yourself. The world worships the original.
You can never protect yourself 100%. What you do is protect your self as much as possible and mitigate risk to an acceptable degree. You can never remove all risk.
No one can love you until you love yourself, and you cannot love anyone else, until you love yourself.
Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too.
Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.
When you accept the fact that sometimes seasons are dry and times are hard and that God is in control of both, you will discover a sense of divine refuge, because the hope then is in God and not in yourself.
You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
Art can make a difference because it pulls people up short.
It says, don’t accept things for their face value; you don’t have to go along with any of this; you can think for yourself.
In the end when you accept yourself for who you are and you work with what you’ve got, you couldn’t be more beautiful because you’re confident and everyone notices.
To anyone out there especially young people feeling like they don’t fit in and will never be accepted, please know this, great things can happen when you have the courage to be yourself.
The trick is that as long as you know who you are and what makes you happy, it doesn’t matter how others see you.
By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.
Quotes tagged as «accepting-yourself»
Showing 1-30 of 44
“So you’re a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd!”
―
“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.”
―
Germany Kent
“Nora had always had a problem accepting herself. From as far back as she could remember, she’d had the sense that she wasn’t enough. Her parents who both had their own insecurities, had encouraged that idea.
She imagined, now, what it would be like to accept herself completely. Every mistake she had ever made. Every mark on her body. Every dream she had ever made. Every mark on her body. Every dream she hadn’t reached or pain she had felt. Every lust or longing she had suppressed.
She imagined accepting it all. The way she accepted nature. The way she accepted a glacier or a puffin or the breach of a whale.
She imagined seeing herself as just another brilliant freak of nature. Just another sentient animal, trying her best.
And in doing so, she imagined what it was like to be free.”
―
Matt Haig,
The Midnight Library
“Invisible
She scanned through the magazine
for girls who looked like her
with deeper hues,
flat nose, and thick hair.
The day she turned fifteen
she scrubbed herself with bleach
while screaming for God,
whispering over and over again
«the darker the skin,
the deeper the struggle»
releasing a sigh
that made her soul shake.”
―
Ijeoma Umebinyuo,
Questions for Ada
“If you can’t accept something, you need to change it.
If you can’t change it, you need to accept it.”
―
Molly Burke
“The true dwellers help you embrace
the darkness in yourself and wield it at will.
It is never belittling but empowering.”
―
Harshita Gottipati,
Born A Free Spirit
“The soul accepts the mystery within and all around, immersing itself in it, celebrating it.”
―
Jay Woodman
“The entire quest is for acceptance. You run from pillar to post for being accepted as you are. This quest ends only when you realize that the most important in life is to accept yourself totally, wholly and completely. Unfortunately, that is a long drawn process and it takes time to reach that level. However, once you reach that stage, you are at entire peace with yourself.”
―
Neelam Saxena Chandra
“No human being is ever going to love you more than you love yourself.”
―
Avis J. Williams
“Here is the voice of my main Character in my Talon book series, I’ll let her introduce herself to you:
My name is Matica and I am a special needs child with a growth disability. I am stuck in the body of a two year old, even though I am ten years old when my story begins in the first book of the Talon series, TALON, COME FLY WITH ME. Because of that disability, (I am saying ‘that’ disability, not ‘my’ disability because it’s a thing that happens to me, nothing more and because I am not accepting it as something bad. I can say that now after I learned to cope with it.) I was rejected by the local Indians as they couldn’t understand that that condition is not a sickness and so it can’t be really cured. It’s just a disorder of my body.
But I never gave up on life and so I had lots of adventures roaming around the plateau where we live in Peru, South America, with my mother’s blessings. But after I made friends with my condors I named Tamo and Tima, everything changed. It changed for the good. I was finally loved. And I am the hero and I embrace my problem. In better words: I had embraced my problem before I made friends with my condors Tamo and Tima. I held onto it and I felt sorry for myself and cried a lot, wanting to run away or something worse. But did it help me? Did it become better? Did I grow taller? No, nothing of that helped me.
I didn’t have those questions when I was still in my sorrow, but all these questions came to me later, after I was loved and was cherished. One day I looked up into the sky and saw the majestic condors flying in the air. Here and now, I made up my mind. I wanted to become friends with them. I believed if I could achieve that, all my sorrow and rejection would be over.
And true enough, it was over. I was loved. I even became famous. And so, if you are in a situation, with whatever your problem is, find something you could rely on and stick to it, love that and do with that what you were meant to do. And I never run from conflicts.”
―
Gigi Sedlmayer
“Hello? Testing? My name is Jonathan Collins. I am seventeen years old. Today is… some day in July 1993. And I am okay. Scratch that, I am more than okay. I am…
I am…
I AM.”
―
James Brandon,
Ziggy, Stardust and Me
“God is love. God wants us to accept and love ourselves for who we are. Not to feel in fear of who we are.”
―
Avis J. Williams
“If you are going to accept anything, accept who you are.”
―
J.R. Rim
“Sometimes people with the greatest depth, appear to be like fish out of water.”
―
Curtis Tyrone Jones
“I had spent all that time wishing I could magically get better, when I just had to make things better for myself. I had to stop trying to be something I wasn’t. I had to stop hating myself and thinking about all the ways I was wrong. I had to stop calling myself Psycho Sara.
My name was Sara Malvern, and I wasn’t very normal at all.”
―
Wesley King,
Sara and the Search for Normal
“We can not paint that in a more positive way if it is already negative, we have to take it that way and think of other means for reaching there.”
―
Auliq Ice
“When you TRULY accept yourself, everyone else will do the same. Relationships «mirror» what we believe about ourselves.”
―
Shannon Tanner,
Worthy: The POWER of Wholeness
“Free your mind and be in flow of life’s ups and downs. Be accepting of wherever you are on your journey”
―
Karon Waddell
“Let people feel the weight of who you really are, and let them fucking deal with it.»
The spot on my forehead where he touched me is tingling. I reach up and rub it. The weight of who I am. It isn’t my responsibility to deal with it. It is theirs. Muslim is right. I am, what I am, what I am. Stay or leave.”
―
Tarryn Fisher,
F*ck Love
“Be aware of your intrinsic energies — that is what you are made of! ”
―
Ramana Pemmaraju
“Acceptance is usually one of the most trying learning experiences. Some things may appear impossible to overlook or get past but therein lies the absolute peace of mind. The world won’t adjust by our pretty wishes or skillful hands. Gotta give up control sometimes.”
―
Chinonye J. Chidolue
“Real happiness comes into your life when you accept yourself as you are.”
―
Nitin Namdeo
We live in a fast-paced, intense world, there’s no denying it. Everywhere we look there seems to be something or someone trying to grab hold of our attention and move us away from the present moment.
Advertising, social media and mainstream media are all laced with the energy of momentum. There is a sense of being constantly encouraged to BE more, DO more and CONSUME more. We have become so focused on where we are headed. Most of us forget to celebrate the present moment.
Is there a point in your life where you get to stop and allow yourself to reflect upon and celebrate all you have already achieved?
When is enough, enough?
In a world which pushes us to be constantly achieving. The importance of self-acceptance is huge. To embrace this mindset of self-acknowledgement is to practice self-love at a fundamental level. Ironically, it is through this process that we gain clarity over our lives that allows us to move forward in a healthy and functional way.
On the other hand, when we strive and push ourselves out of fear, panic or lack of awareness, we become dysfunctional and disconnected.
Once we truly accept who and where we are. We create a connection to ourselves. This means celebrating the good aspects of who we are and acknowledging the parts which we would perhaps like to improve.
So how do we learn to practice self-acceptance?
Write a list. | Accept Yourself
A great way to practice self-acceptance is by simply writing a list of 3 things you have achieved this year. They don’t need to be ‘big’ achievements either. Often we acknowledge the big achievements in life, like getting married or getting a promotion.
But it’s likely that you have had many little wins along your journey that you have overlooked. This could be something as simple as an act of kindness like helping someone carry their groceries or the time you spent last week reading your child a bedtime story.
Celebrate. | Accept Yourself
Once you have your list. Choose a simple way in which you can celebrate the ways in which you have created success for yourself. You could share the list with a friend or loved one, or you could even buy yourself a small gift. Do something that makes you feel acknowledged and happy.
Life is in a constant state of flux. Constantly evolving and changing. The goal posts are always moving. Learning to acknowledge, celebrate and embrace the space in-between where we are and where we want to be is a fantastic way to boost your self-esteem and create a new habit of self-awareness and self-love.
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Last updated on January 29th, 2022
Have you ever found yourself in a situation when something is disturbing your life, you need to seek advice to unburden your heart and you get to hear those cliche words instead ‘accept yourself and everything would fall into the place’? Isn’t it painful? Is self-acceptance as much easy as philosophers ask it to practice every time whenever you need life advice?
Meaning Of Self-Acceptance
In simple words, self-acceptance means to accept your life, reality, all of your attributes (both positive and negative), your skills and everything about you the way it is. It teaches you to accept yourself the way you are.
According to Wikipedia, self-acceptance in psychology means one’s happiness with oneself, self-awareness of strengths and weaknesses and self-understanding of accepting them the way they are. It is also considered a necessary practice for good mental health and well-being.
In Hindi, self-acceptance meaning is आत्म स्वीकृति which also explains how you should develop self-acceptance and accept yourself happily and unconditionally.
But it is a little different from self-esteem. Self-acceptance is being honest yourself, analyzing your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them without any grudges. It is developing an attitude and courage to see your imperfections without berating yourself. While self-esteem is the confidence you gain by self-acceptance. In short, self-esteem is more like an achievement and self-acceptance also involves the process of gaining self-confidence and accepting your reality the way it is.
Why Is It So Hard To Practice Self-Acceptance?
The words like ‘accept yourself’, ‘accept your reality’ and ‘let go of what you can not control’ sounds easy but the process of following them is much more difficult. Practising self-acceptance is difficult because your pain serves as a reminder of the struggle you have gone through to become what you are today. The pieces of your broken heart don’t let you find happiness in the present particularly when you are still in a fight.
I understand this because I have also witnessed heartbreaks, rejection, losses and a prolonged disease in the past recent years that suffered me like a hell. While I often remind others to stay calm and find peace and contentment within, I know it doesn’t soothe an aching heart to receive ‘finding happiness within and accepting your reality advice in challenging circumstances.
Importance & Benefits Of Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is the key to happiness and success. You can realize its importance once you have it and know its benefits.
- Self-love and acceptance teach you how to accept yourself the way you are. It makes you courageous. When you start to accept your imperfections, you develop a different attitude towards yourself. Your perception to see the world changes and everything changes with it. Self-confidence leads you to success and happiness.
- Accepting yourself can improve your self-esteem. The confidence you gain by improving self-acceptance also improves your self-esteem.
- You will be surprised to know how self-acceptance can improve your relationship with others. It’s quite simple actually. When you are happy, you make others happy. You become more focused to build relationships.
- Self-acceptance and mental health go together. Therefore, all the gurus around the world practice to gain self-acceptance for your good mental health and well-being.
- It promotes a sense of freedom, positive mindset, self-help, self-actualization, forgiveness, self-esteem and self-worth.
Similiar articles,
- Value yourself: How I recognized my self-worth
- 40 positive things to say to yourself every day
- How to eliminate negative thoughts when it seems impossible
- Losing your peace of mind? Figure out why you are not happy
How To Practice Self-Acceptance
Undoubtedly, acceptance is necessary for happiness and bringing harmony in life. Although it’s a bitter truth, you have to learn life will impose itself upon you each time and you have to deal with its ordeals with patience. If you ever think to yourself, “I can’t tolerate this anymore,” you probably need to change the ways to deal with struggles so you can embrace your reality more easily and let go of what is outside your control.
In this article, I have compiled a list of 11 tips and ways to practice self-acceptance which I still find useful during my tough times. Practice one or more of them to change your outlook towards a situation, learn how to accept yourself unconditionally, accept your reality and find peace even at difficult times.
1. Accept Your Reality, Not The Wrong Things
This is very important. Because most people often confuse the acceptance of the current situation with the acceptance of everything bad happening to them. They just don’t fight for themselves for the sake of destiny. Because destiny is something for them that they can not change and have to accept at any cost.
If you are one of them, you have to learn when to resist and when to accept. Please note that you are not destined to accept toxic relationships, abuse, bullying, and other heinous acts. You must not accept domestic violence considering it as your reality. Address your situation “you have this war to fight against the violence” and accept this reality, not the “domestic violence”.
Also, the acceptance of your weaknesses hinders your progress. If you have certain weaknesses like low confidence or fear for something, you need to accept the fact instead, you have those weaknesses. Once you are aware of them, you can work towards turning them into your strengths.
Acceptance doesn’t mean to fall victim to a bad situation at all, rather it is the act of courage to fight for yourself, realize your weaknesses and remove them. You are a warrior and have certain wars to fight and it’s your reality. You have to stand up against the bad things happening to you, not the bad reality. Embrace the reality you are stuck in and find ways to get rid of it.
2. Begin By Developing A Positive Attitude
I am narrating two stories here to explain how a positive mind increases your power of acceptance.
Story 1: Only one month was left for Aditi’s marriage. She had planned big things for her marriage and scheduled the things accordingly. Here came a twist, just a month before her marriage, she met with an accident and was prescribed 15-days of bed rest due to her injuries. But her marriage took place on a fixed date because of a supportive family and fiance. Owing to a leg injury, she could not dance and had to cancel her other wedding plans too. On the wedding day, this was the only thing running on her mind:
“How unlucky I am, nothing ever happens as per my plans!”
Story 2: In the same accident, her office colleague, Anu, who had joined the office recently, was also injured more severely than Aditi. Anu hailed from a poor family so all the savings of her father were spent on her operation. She was also prescribed bed rest for six months. She also had nobody to take regular care of her, because she has only a father in the family who used to be ill.
But, during her bed rest, she thanked God and said,
“How lucky I am, God, Thanks for this new life! You saved me, I will start a new life now. I would apply for a new job if I couldn’t resume the old one!”
You have understood by now how a negative attitude stops you from accepting your reality. There is a famous quote, “Change your attitude, not aptitude that determines your altitude”. Therefore, develop a positive attitude, because a positive mind easily gets ready to find positive even out of a difficult situation.
3. Consider ‘Self-Acceptance’ As A Self-Development Tool
Accepting yourself is often considered a sign of weakness. Some people think self-acceptance is bad because it stops your growth. But going deeper into this, you would find, accepting any reality or situation is a matter of courage. Even if it’s a loss of your loved one, a rejection or a state of depression, the earlier you accept your situation, the sooner you can find the ways to reach a solution. You can use it as a tool for self-improvement and personal growth.
For example- if you have lost a loved one, accept your feelings. Don’t be cruel to yourself by burying down the volcano of those intense grief emotions inside your heart. Reach out to a friend, health professional or psychologist, if needed. Engage yourself in fulfilling what expectations they had from you like their dreams to see you as a more responsible or a successful person.
Similarly, if you are unhappy with your shape, channel your negative energy towards exercising rather than feeling miserable all the time. If you are being rude to yourself for the way how you look, accept your uniqueness. Always remember, you are the only one of your kind there.
4. Remember You Can Always Change Your Destiny
They say “You Become What You Believe”. If you can believe, changing destiny is at your hands, then you can change it as well.
Look, no amount of resistance or anger can change your present situation. Your denial will only hurt you and turn you into a bitter person. What makes a difference is to take steps to change your current reality and keep a fighting spirit within you even through all the pain.
When you take responsibility to write your destiny by yourself, you will see there are a lot of opportunities waiting for you. The feeling of being the owner of your destiny fills you with new confidence which helps you accept your reality eventually.
5. Listen To Your Desires, Experiences
In this step, you have to know your inner experiences, as well as, your desires. Analyze carefully, what is troubling you the most, which unfulfilled dreams or bad experiences are holding you back to accept things and enjoy your current reality.
Once you figure out they are painful, you can then at least find ways to cope with them and comfort yourself as effectively as possible.
If you are unhappy with some aspect of yourself, you would benefit from finding the solution or planning for a goal to fulfil those desires.
When you set a goal, you start putting your efforts to accomplish them. Once those efforts give you the desired results, you accept and nurture your current self.
6. Find Your Motivation In A Negative Situation
It’s a real challenge to stay in the course when life is throwing a punch at you. It’s true, without turning your focus onto your goal, your dreams will only be dreams. For their execution, you somehow have to find the motivation which keeps you encouraged even in a bad situation.
In the digital world, motivation is everywhere around you, but I read somewhere real motivation comes from within. And it’s true. A motivating video can make you feel good for the time being, but you are likely to turn negative over and again. So, find your motivation. Set a principle, a mantra, an emotion or an experience that can make you work even in pain and kill the procrastination (see).
That motivation mantra will boost your self-confidence, and keep your mind occupied with the hope for a better future. This hope becomes the biggest motivating factor to dilute the bitterness buried deep down somewhere in your heart owing to your current situation. This hope helps you accept your reality.
The one mantra that I found the most useful is if you are demotivated and dissatisfied with your situation, work with double force without worrying much about the results. Because, your situation is bound to change if you work honestly, forgetting everything else.
7. Accept Your Fears To Accept Your Reality
One of the biggest challenges we face to accept our situation is our fear of failure. Fear of failure comes from a lack of patience. So, to overcome fear, we have to develop the patience to wait for the right time. Because it is patience that determines how we look at the situation.
If you don’t have patience, your mind is not composed and a disturbed mind sees only the negative out of every situation. It is very much prone to resistance and creating turbulence.
To develop patience, you have to remind yourself every day that things take time to show results after their execution. If you are working on a goal, you have to take risks, make mistakes and fail multiple times. A big goal always demands a lot of persistence, hard work, and strong willpower.
Therefore, accept your failures and accept your reality. Accept that there are hundreds of paths, out of them, there is only one right path that will lead you to your destiny. Now, to find that right path, you must have to travel those hundred paths leaving all your fear behind.
Since finding the right path is worth your patience, don’t let this delay make you restless, impatient and fearful. Develop the patience to wait for the right time, let go of your fears and get peace of mind.
8. Don’t Let Them Judge Your Situation
Even if you have made mistakes or even blunders, never let anyone judge your situation and make you live with the guilt. Because they are only humans, and humans are to make mistakes, and this is called human nature. Leave this act of judgment up to the Universe because the Universe has its ways to return things to you.
This thought sets you free. You don’t unnecessarily compare yourself to other people. You accept that everybody’s life is different. Even if the Universe takes something from you, it forgives too. Unlike humans, it gives other opportunities as well to change your destiny.
When you realize this, you are likely to accept your reality with a light heart. Remember, you are not in any race with anyone. If you are making efforts, you will get rewards as well but at the right time, neither sooner, nor later.
Don’t allow the remarks of people to develop hatred for yourself. Avoid self-criticism by appreciating yourself every morning. You have worked hard to come this far, which is the most important thing worth celebrating yourself.
You might be interested in,
- Learn to ignore what troubles you
- No- A letter to myself
- Zip your lips to control your anger
9. Believe It’s Going To Hurt Less
When you are distressed, you don’t believe in the right things that may happen to you in your future. You perceive the world with your glasses of fear, sadness, and negativity. But here you forget a universal truth, “Change is the law of nature.”
Nothing is permanent. The situation, however worse it may look at this moment is going to change one day. It is not going to hurt you the same way as it is hurting today. Things may take time but they will change for sure. You are going to find peace, healing and everything you deserve. Just have faith.
Remember, the situation which is seeming negative today may dramatically take a positive turn tomorrow. Maybe a person to whom you had to say goodbye today, is destined to be with you after a few years, or maybe you collect the courage to let go of that person and find someone better in time to come.
If you fill your mind with this faith, it would help you find immense peace in the current reality and accept things the way they are.
10. Understand The Principle Of Karma
Try to understand the law of Karma which sets us free from any kind of worry and fear. “Karm Karo, Fal ki Chinta mat Karo” —is mentioned in Bhagavad Gita and still we forget to follow this golden principle.
This principle teaches us how we can control only our Karma, not its result. Taking steps is the most important thing and that’s the only thing in our hands. So, whatever you do, do it with utmost elegance. Leave the rest up to nature which is very efficient in doing its duty and giving you the result of your Karma.
No matter what has happened in your past, if you start adding efforts today, if you begin working for your goals today, they are going to give fruits tomorrow. That’s the definite law of the universe. And all the universal laws are eternal and true as there is no doubt that the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Following this principle of Karma soothes your anxiety and helps you accept your reality. And you can work for your future more efficiently with a conflict-free mind.
Related articles,
- Karma yoga: 5000 years old healing technique
- Daily Mantras To Keep You Happy
- X-ray of your thoughts
11. Take Self-Acceptance Test
Now, in this last step, you should take this test. It’s a self-acceptance questionnaire. It tells you how much you have become ready to accept yourself. Ask yourself these questions. Answers you already know if you have read this article carefully.
- Can I accept myself whether I win or lose?
- Do I need to prove myself to celebrate my original self?
- Are the failures going to make me lose my self-worth?
- Do my mistakes stop me from feeling good about myself?
- Am I letting them judge me because of my current situation?
- Do I seek approval to love myself?
- Am I happy with the way I look?
- Are my regrets ruining my present?
- Do my imperfections stop me love the way I look?
5 powerful Self-Acceptance Quotes
These are my favourite quotes on self-acceptance that help me to accept the reality of my life.
- “I have always been better at caring for and looking after others than I have been at caring for myself. But in these later years, I have made progress. – Carl Rogers
- “When you create yourself to make it you’re going to have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you are…or you’re gonna have to kill who you are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were.” – Jim Carrey
- “Self-Acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” – Nathaniel Branden
- “The thing that is hard, and amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen
- When we are anxious and fretting, we are less inclined to be loving or accepting of ourselves. Our inner critic or inner perfectionist demands that we get over it. Immediately. We stand in judgement of ourselves. Yet that is the very moment when we need self-acceptance the most. – Anonymous
11 Positive Affirmations For Self-Acceptance
- I’m not an evil soul when I refuse to forgive someone, this is just temporarily my way to release painful emotions.
- It’s okay to cry, it doesn’t show I am a weak person.
- I am not an astrologer who can see the future, so I won’t hate myself for making mistakes.
- Success is good but it doesn’t define my self-worth. I accept myself even if I fail.
- I can fail sometimes, my failure doesn’t make me a bad person.
- I don’t need to make excuses to accept my mistakes. I can learn from them and grow.
- It’s okay to not know everything, it’s okay to act like a fool sometimes. I am not superhuman.
- Anxiety can have gifts too. I don’t need to mask my feelings caused by anxiety.
- I may be dependent upon someone for practical things, but I don’t have to depend on others for emotional support.
- It’s okay to feel low when I am sad. I don’t have to get anxious about having anxiety episodes.
- I can blame myself for my carelessness, mistakes and silliness but without berating myself.
Books on Self-Acceptance
- What To Say When You Talk To Yourself- by Helmstetter
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Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha– by Tara Brach
Wrapping Up
Accepting yourself and your reality is indeed a daunting task in which many fail every day. But, your regrets and anger would not help you. You have to keep making efforts to find peace in your current reality.
Think about what you did to handle an unpleasant situation you went through last time. Write your thoughts on paper, listen to your experiences and learn when to resist and when to accept.
Acceptance is not something you can learn in the blink of an eye. It is a long-time effort that makes you stronger and a better person. In between, you realize how far you have come and things don’t hurt much now as they used to be. You find yourself mature enough to face any kind of situation.
I hope you found this list of ways useful to accept your reality the way it is. Do you have any different, unique, or new way that helped you accept your situation and find peace? Do share it in the comment below.
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