What is true love in one word

It’s not uncommon to find yourself wondering if you’ve found true love. After all, you may have intensely strong feelings of affection and adoration toward your partner, but how do you know if these sentiments actually qualify as true love? Fortunately, there are eight key indicators that can help you determine if what you’ve found is true love or if it’s too good to be true.

What does true love really mean? In order to figure out if you’ve found true love, it’s important to first understand what true love actually entails. Essentially, true love means that you have an unwavering, unbreakable and unparalleled fondness and devotion for your partner. It’s also defined by an emotional as well as physical connection with him or her that runs immeasurably deep, and life without your significant other would be practically unthinkable.

What are the signs of true love? If you’re unsure that what you’re experiencing is in fact true love, it’s important to look for these eight essential indicators.

1. You care about this person unconditionally. A tell-tale sign that you’ve found true love is that you absolutely and undeniably adore your partner with no strings attached. In other words, no matter what circumstances may befall you and through good times as well as bad, you support and deeply care for this person. Unconditional love is at the very heart of what true love means and entails. 

2. You fully accept your partner. An additional indicator of true love is that you understand and accept your partner for the person who he or she truly is. You’re not trying to change your mate, fix him or her and/or turn him or her into a different person. Rather, you fully accept, appreciate and adore your partner, flaws and all. 

3. You can talk about anything. When you’ve found true love, it means that you can candidly and honestly discuss anything with this person. True love implies that you’re completely truthful with your mate, aren’t holding back different aspects of your past and are able to fully open up to him or her. You share an intimacy that’s emotional as well as physical, and your loving connection is stronger because of your willingness and ability to be open and vulnerable around each other.

4. You’re completely yourself with this person. When you’ve found true love, you’re able to be totally authentic with your partner. You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not, feigning interests, passions or pastimes and/or acting in a way that doesn’t reflect the real you. Being yourself in your relationship is essential to experiencing true love. 

5. You respect each other. In order to experience true love, it also means that there’s a high level of respect, kindness and compassion between you and your partner. You can empathize with one another, see each other’s point of view and are able to resolve conflicts and squabbles in a way that’s constructive and respectful of each other’s well-being.

6. You have similar values. In order to experience true love, your morals and values have to be aligned with those of your partner. While you may have your differences, such as where you grew up, your religious background or simply your obsession with football, true love means that you’re on the same page when it comes to distinguishing right from wrong. In a word, having similar principles is a principle component of true love.

7. Your happiness levels feed off of each other. If you’re wondering if you’ve found true love, it’s important to pay close attention to your true feelings and emotions. Does making this person happy make you happy in return? Does surprising him or her or doing favors for your partner give you a rush of joy as well? When you and your partner both have a mutual desire to bring happiness and contentment to one another, you should be happy to know that you’re experiencing true love.

8. You’re a team. When you’ve found true love, it means that you’re fully committed, dedicated and devoted to each other. With true love, you and your partner work together as one unit to enrich each other’s lives for the better. And rather than behaving in a selfish or egotistical way, you think in terms of “we” instead of “me.” When it comes to true love, your mate is really your teammate. 

We all have a different idea of what true love entails. For some of us, our impression was formed from the examples we saw growing up. For others, it’s the six types of love that we saw on TV or in movies. Some of us don’t know where our idea of what true love is came from. But, unless you really know and understand what true love is, you may have a hard time knowing how to find true love and then you may even question is love enough?

Most everyone would prefer the idea of true love meaning you have a happily ever after. Once you find the right person, everything is just going to be perfect. But this is real life, and those endings are for fairy tales.

Love Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

What Is True Love And How Can I Find It?

There’s a quote by J.S. Park that says, «Real love doesn’t meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.»

This quote does a great job of summing up what true love is all about. True love is not having a perfect relationship. It’s not having a perfect person or being a perfect person either. Furthermore, it’s not about believing in clichés like “love means never having to say you’re sorry”. If you genuinely love someone, expressing sorry does not imply that you are arguing over who is right or wrong; instead, being sorry or saying sorry might mean mending a heart that longs for love and understanding. True love is not about always getting along, always having the best circumstances, or always having things easy with your partner.

But don’t get discouraged; true love is still an amazing thing. But, it’s not what it looks like in the media.

In Movies

In the movies, true love looks like a person finding their perfect match. Some may start out as childhood friends which made us question «is teen love real or not». They may have a complicated time getting to the right person. But, when they do succeed in finding your perfect match, everything is wonderful. It’s usually at the end of the movie when things wrap up so nicely and you just know it’s going to be smooth sailing from then on.

Yes, you may get a bunch of cute love quotes in movies, but be aware that true love doesn’t look like this. When you are constantly comparing true love in real life to how its depicted on TV or in the movies, you’re often setting your relationships up for failure. If you’re always waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet and never let you down, you’re likely to be disappointed. While there might be someone out there that’s a better fit for you than others, there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship.

In Real Life

In real life, true love is two people who are willing to put aside their personal desires for the other person. It means loving someone enough that you’re willing to look past their imperfections. This doesn’t mean that you don’t see your partner’s flaws, but that you choose them anyway. True love also means loyalty, and is not being in love with two people at the same time.

True love involves forgiving each other because no one is perfect. It means letting go of unrealistic expectations and knowing that there will be times when your partner fails you or lets you down. And you’re going to do the same thing to them. There will be times when you’ll need to apologize. True love is willing not to keep count and working to move past the difficulties.

People truly in love stick it out even when things get tough. When you truly love someone, you celebrate their successes, comfort them in their losses, laugh with them, cry with them, and experience life with them. If you listen to the words of typical marriage vows, they do a good job depicting what is required of true love: «For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.»

These are not easy words to live by. But this is what people truly in love do. They choose to be there and stick with it through it all.

True love is an acceptance of who you are as a person. Even when your partner doesn’t agree with you, they don’t try to change you. When you found true love, you often feel you can talk about anything with your partner. You can trust them with your deepest dreams, your hardest memories, and your biggest fears.

When two people are genuinely in love, they are a team. They’re two people that have come together and have decided to stand in unison. They don’t just look after their individual goals. Instead, they work together to better their lives together. It’s not only about one person; it’s about them together as a unit.

What Does True Love Feel Like?

Many people think that the feelings that they experience at the beginning of a relationship signal true love. It’s exciting when things are brand new: butterflies in your stomach, blushing, flirting. It’s an exciting time in a relationship and while these are great feelings, they don’t necessarily indicate true love.

True love is felt over time as two people get to know each other. It isn’t something that you can feel instantaneously for someone because you don’t understand who they are or their character yet.

But, true love can feel even better than those beginning phases of love. While electricity and chemistry might not always there, the relationship has the potential to grow into something that is so much deeper. It offers the comfort of being able to be completely you with no fear of judgment.

Overall, true love can bring up many emotions. There are days when you may feel like everything is right with the world, and then there will be days that challenge you more than you thought possible. But you love your partner, and you’re willing to stick it out with them even during the difficult times.

True love might not feel the same for everyone, and that’s all right. Each person is different, and each relationship is different. But, true love should never make you feel bad about yourself. If guilt, shame, and embarrassment are a constant part of your relationship, then it’s something that should be addressed. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and not one of true love.

How To Know That It’s Not True Love

Some people confuse true love with behaviors that are more related to codependency, low self-esteem, and people-pleasing. True love is not going to try to control you. Someone who loves you will want you to be your unique self. They’re not going to make unjust demands or expect you to always give in when a compromise needs to be made.

True love is not going to require unrealistic expectations from you. A partner who truly loves you will not threaten you or push you into doing things that make you uncomfortable.

If someone truly loves you, they will be committed to you. They’re not going to have another person on the side or do anything else that would break your trust. A people who truly loves you will not constantly compare you to others because they allow you to be yourself.

Love Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

True love does not include physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse. Instead, it should provide you with feelings of comfort and safety. This is not what true love looks like or how someone truly in love acts.

If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text «START» to 88788. You can also use the online chat.

True love is also not a feeling; it’s a choice. It’s something that you have to decide to actively do . When you truly love someone, you cannot let your feelings and emotions control your behavior toward them.

When You Need A Little Help With Love

What is love? Love is a complicated thing. There is no one-size-fits-all explanation of what love looks like or how to love someone properly. This can make it tricky to figure out on your own.

You may have questions about why finding true love seem to be difficult or why you seem to sabotage your relationships. If you are struggling in this area, counseling can help you make the progress that you need. You may consider speaking with a counselor alone or with your partner.

Research shows that online counseling can be just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and when it comes to couples, one study found that video-based counseling allowed many couples to feel a greater sense of control and comfort through the use of technology. 

If you are interested in having the support of a therapist, consider working with a BetterHelp counselor. An experienced BetterHelp therapist can help you work through things by asking the right questions to help you move forward. Counselors can offer an unbiased perspective in a setting that is safe and convenient. You can find comfort knowing that every BetterHelp provider is in good standing and has gone through an intensive review process conducted by another licensed clinician. Read these reviews of BetterHelp therapists who have helped people like you

“As someone who had sought counseling/therapy for the first time, I had serious doubts about the effectiveness of online therapy, but my first meeting with Susan erased those doubts immediately. Over the last six months, Susan has not only given me tools to help me establish boundaries but has given me a new perspective on relationships and life in general. After a few sessions, I was able to turn a corner and have a new outlook on my interactions with others. I wholeheartedly recommend Susan and hope to work with her again in the future.”

“I am so happy I got paired with Ruthie Brooks. My sessions with her have been a positive and insightful experience.  As a result, I can see my relationships improving and I have a better understanding of myself. She is very professional, kind, and great at what she does.”

Conclusion

True love is complicated, but it’s something that can be found and truly enjoyed. So, if you are struggling, reach out for help today.

Commonly Asked Questions

What is the real meaning of true love?
How do you know it is true love?
What true love feels like?
What is the difference between love and true love?
What is the purest form of love?
How do you know a man is your true love?
What are the key elements to true love?
What are the 4 types of love?
What is the highest form of love?
What makes a man feel connected to a woman?

What True Love means?

How do you know True Love?

Does True Love exist?

What are the 3 main qualities of love?

How long does true love last?

Can true love fade away?

How do you feel when in love?

Does true love have jealousy?

Why do we feel pain in love?

Is love from the heart or brain?

LOVE.  This four-letter word makes the whole world go round and round and round. Everyone is looking for true love at the moment. Isn’t it? So, what is true love? What is the meaning of true love?

Is it that heart-drubbing adrenaline blast you feel when you see him/her? Or is it that feeling that makes you plunge with pleasure? Is it that slight touch that has the power to make you dance through the clouds? Or is it the beauty of the world you see through the depth of your companion’s eyes?

I’ve heard more than a few beautiful melodies that state that love is something that flows like a river, something that burns like an everlasting flame, or something that drifts like a warm breeze.

[Read: What does love feel like? 15 Signs of love to answer “Am I in Love?”]

But then again, what is true love?

In reality, love is a reasonably powerful drug. Once you feel it, you feel it. It has the power to hang time up, making the entire world appear stagnant except for the two of you. Indeed, the meaning of true love knows no depth. It’s a never-ending channel that swings you up in the whirlwind, and you never become free from it. It stays and lives with you. It nourishes you more than any nourishment; love makes you feel full and contented. You can feel it when you hug your lover, or when you embrace their palms. You can hear it in the rush of the leaves, in the fresh waft of wind and in the words of that ‘someone special.’

So you understand the meaning of true love now?

No?

Well, that’s because true love is hard to define. Ironic, isn’t it?

So what is true love really?

A true love story never ends. And the definition of true love is far beyond what you feel or do. Love is a somewhat subjective term, unlike any other word in the world. It’s something like our thumbprints. No one knows what the meaning of true love is for the other person, nor can anybody ever imitate another person’s love.

True love is like a religious conviction that you truly begin to have faith in. It is something that just can’t be described in more than a few words, but it can convey tears of happiness in your eyes while reading a letter of few loving words from your dear. Strange, isn’t it?

In reality, love is merely a word we use to describe a feeling that just can’t be defined, a feeling that nobody can know but you. It is something more than science; it’s an object that makes us accept that there is something in this world that’s still beyond our control. True love is what your soul is, what your passion is, and a Heavenly spark within us.

So what is true love all about?

Oh! It’s not that strong flow of passionate and sexual feelings that overpower you, by all means.

Well, explaining the meaning of true love is like describing a specific color to a sightless person who cannot see the color. You need to experience and feel it to understand “what is true love.”

So let us understand the meaning of true love.

What is true love #1: Meaning of true love is “Falling in love.”

Yes! The English phrase, “Falling in love,” is worth mentioning here when you want to know ‘what is true love.’  Nobody ever rises or soars high in love. In fact, something of what you are has to leave you in the process of discovering love. If not completely, at least a slice of you has to collapse. That’s because the real meaning of true love is “Falling in love.” When it’s true love you resolute to do away with a bit of you for the sake of the other. In essence, that means somebody else has turned out to be far more important in your life than you.

[Read: Being Single Vs. Being In a Relationship, What’s Better?]

What is true love #2: Meaning of true love is saying goodbye to expectations.

Of course, each person wants his/her love to act the way they want them to. One and all want their partners to be more caring. Or warmer. Or more intelligent. Or more ambitious. Each of this hope is an expectation. Expectations are simply your desires for “acceptability” of loving somebody. But true love is free of any expectations and the reasons to love someone are measureless – no holds barred. Meaning of true love is to love “as is.”

[Read: How much do looks matter in a relationship? Science Has An Answer]

What is true love #3: Meaning of true love is letting go.

A true love story never ends, but the meaning of true love can never be ‘ownership.’ You must have heard the saying, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” There is a fact to this expression. Love allows people their free will with lack of restrictions. The meaning of true love is not to hold back and crush the wings of your lover to control them. True love doesn’t want to own. Instead, the meaning of true love is to set your love free if they want to be.

[Read: What to do After a Break-up: 16 Smart Ways To Help You Move On]

What is true love #4: Meaning of true love is not to stay in a relationship.

You may perhaps love somebody a lot, but still could not be compatible with them. Or they might drive you crazy with their endless indifference or disrespect for your feelings. Sure, you can always love them, but that doesn’t have to mean that you have to stay with them all the time. Meaning of true love is not that you have to stay, stay and stay. You can leave your partner, get rejected and yet love them anyhow.

[Read: How to Deal with Rejection and Ease off Like a Pro]

What is true love #5: Meaning of true love is not to force.

True love cannot be forced. It is experienced naturally, passionately, committedly and wholeheartedly. No matter how hard you try, you can never fake true love. If a couple is unsuccessful in passing the test of time and compatibility during their infatuation phase, it’s quite challenging for both of them to experience what is true love. Besides, if both the partners know and understand each other well, they’ll start to adore each other and would end up always staying together. In due course, this connection will turn into an unselfish and selfless love that refers to “what is true love.”

What is true love #6: Meaning of true love is not needing, but wanting.

Yes! There is an enormous difference between a ‘want’ and a ‘need.’ Needing somebody is a feeling that has its roots in fear. You may fear that you won’t be able to live without him/her, so you feel that you need them. But fear is contradictory to “what is true love.” In its place, wanting someone in your life offers them the choice to leave, yet demonstrates that you love them.

What is true love #7: Meaning of true love is to flow effortlessly.

True love is painless and flows with ease. It flows, and the whole thing comes naturally. When you truly love somebody, there is no need for control, no need for setting anybody, no need for blame, judgment, suspicion, responsibility or any other toxic attitude. The meaning of true love is to love. That’s all there to it; nothing more.

What is true love #8: Meaning of true love is to accept the inconvenience.

What is true love? Well, it can be everything but convenient. It takes your entire life to love somebody. Indeed, love is the worst thing you’d ever do, as it eats you up. If you want to fall in love, you should not. If you are ready to ‘fall’ though, only then it can take place. If you manage to keep your character and behavior strong during the process of ‘falling in love,’ it is just a ‘convenient state of affair’ for you; nothing much.

[Read: How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work]

What is true love #9: Meaning of true love is not a business deal.

There’s a vast yet imperceptible difference between love and a business deal. When you truly love somebody, you freely give in to the stuff you usually don’t compromise on. If you love somebody, you will shower them with compassion, care, and concern. Love causes you to be forgiving, understanding, and tolerant. If you think you love somebody, yet don’t feel like giving them your time, resources and assets, then you are just deceiving yourself.

[Read: What Does Friends with Benefits Mean]

What is true love #10: Meaning of true love is to love unconditionally.

Yes! The meaning of true love is to love unconditionally. True love has to be unconditional. There is indeed no such thing as conditional or unconditional love. Either there can be conditions, or there can be love. The moment you combine love with a condition, it just points to a contract. Perhaps a convenient business deal, perhaps a treaty – it could be possible that you made quite a lot of brilliant dealings in life – but that would not live up to you when it’s about love. This kind of love will not move you to another dimension. That is just a convenient agreement.

What is true love #11: Meaning of true love is to understand and accept the differences.

Let’s face it: every person is different. Each person has different experiences, thoughts, ideas, and point of views about the world. And the signs of true love from a man are different from that of a lady. But the meaning of true love is not to make other people feel wrong for being different. When you love somebody, you accept their differences as well.

[Read: Insanely Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend When You’re Bored]

What is true love #12: Meaning of true love is to be free from bondage.

What is true love? Well, the meaning of true love is to love and be loved. Love enforces no demands, stresses or hassles. The meaning of true love is to keep no interest in holding on to somebody or something. When there is love, there is no bondage, no slavery, and no suppression, and when there is suppression, there is no love.

Meaning of true love is pretty simple.

Love is not something you need to do with somebody else. Love doesn’t have to happen between two persons. It is something that happens to you. And what happens within you doesn’t have to be confined to somebody else.

Let me exemplify it to you. Consider sitting with somebody or something that means nothing to you – perhaps a tree, an animal, an insect or a bird – for 20 minutes every day.

After a while, you will discover that you would look at that thing with as much love as you do to your companion or your mom or your kid. Perhaps the ‘thing’ cannot see that. But when you love, that doesn’t matter. If you can look at the whole world affectionately, the world as a whole turns out to be lovely in your experience. Well along, you understand that love is not something that you do. Love is the way you feel or the way you are or perhaps the way you feel happy about things.

[Read: Top-Secret Guide on How to Be Happy In Life]

Have you ever fallen in love? Yes? No? Whatsoever. Tell me what is true love for you. Share your meaning of true love and let me know how you face the world, hand in hand, with your love. I’m dying to know your thoughts! 🙂 

What is True love and what does it feel like?

Image: Shutterstock

What is true love? Everyone wishes to experience love, but most will not answer it with conviction if you ask this question. Some say it doesn’t exist, while others say it is omnipresent. Its presence so engulfs the people who have fallen in love that they cannot see anything beyond it.

Love is the most beautiful experience in the world. If you find a person who loves you genuinely, it is a blessing in your life. Love gives happiness and strength. However, while some people find love easily, others struggle with it.

So, if you are wondering what this experience is, this post can guide you. Read on to know about true love, its signs, and how to make the experience last forever.

True love is a sense of absolute affection and warm feelings towards a person and does not get altered easily. You love a person truly when you are willing to give up your happiness for theirs, and love them for who they are, warts and all.

However, the idea of true love can vary for different people. For some, it could be loving without expectations, and for some others, it is a passionate bond that makes them care deeply for each other. When you truly love someone, you give them your all, without any limitations or exceptions.

What Does True Love Feel Like?

Apart from the ‘butterflies in the belly’ feeling and the happiness that seems to follow you everywhere, true love offers three important things that lay a solid foundation for your relationship. If you can relate to these three things, then you may be able to answer the question “what does true love feel like.”

  • Safety or security: Did you ever wonder why babies sleep better in their mothers’ arms? Because they know they are safe there. A relationship that can give you peace of mind and safety is based on true love. When you love a person with all your heart, you will never put them in a situation that compromises their safety. So, if you are in a relationship that makes you feel safe physically, emotionally, and mentally, then you already know how it feels to be truly loved.

True love makes you feel safe

Image: IStock

  • Recognition: When your partner’s love for you is true, you will know that they’re going to be there for you no matter what. You don’t have to work hard to get their attention. If you have something to say, they will sit with you and hear you out. At the same time, they would also recognize the small things you do for them, and either compliment or reciprocate them.
  • Stability: No matter how hard things may get, a person who truly loves you will not leave you alone. You can go through hell, but their presence will make it all worth it. Giving up is never an option when you love someone, and couples who stand by each other will fight through adversity and come out stronger than ever. Whether it is a tough financial situation or a family feud, there is nothing in the world that can change your love for one another. When it comes to true love, the thought of leaving never arises.

If this is true love, what is not?

What Isn’t True Love?

There is a faint line between true and unauthentic love. Many couples accept abuse and ill-treatment, mistaking them for care and love. So how do you differentiate? Here are a few pointers to help.

  • Abuse of any kind under the guise of care is not true love. If your partner is physically abusing you to get their way, it is not love.
  • Being possessive and controlling in the name of protection is not love. True love is built on trust, and if your partner is restricting you from going out or talking to friends, then it is possessiveness and jealousy, but not love.
  • A partner who is overly dependent on you, restricting your growth, may not really love you. True love helps both the partners grow while enabling them to love each other enough to spend their lives together.
  • If your partner gets angry at any negative feedback or shuts you out for sharing your feelings, then it may not be true love.

Partner getting angry is not true love

Image: Shutterstock

  • If both of you are keeping scores or having a tit-for-tat mentality, then you both need to stop and evaluate your love. True love doesn’t expect; it just offers unconditionally.

Are You Ready For True Love?

True love is indeed a precious feeling, and everyone longs to experience it. If cupid doesn’t magically bring true love into your life, how do you find it? While there is no sure shot formula to find true love, there are a few tips to increase your chances.

  1. Make yourself open for true love. Before you start your journey of finding true love, you need to prepare yourself for it. For starters, develop a positive attitude that can pave the way for happiness and joy in life. True love means to be able to accept a person as they are and also to forgive their mistakes and still love them. For you to be able to do that, you must first accept yourself.
  1. Have a clear idea of what you want. It is important to understand the qualities you want in your partner. Also, know that it may not be possible to find all those qualities in a person (and that is okay). But having a clear idea of what you expect and what you can offer to the relationship can make it easier to find love.
  1. To find true love, you must first love yourself. How can you love someone when you do not love yourself? Self-love is not being narcissistic. Loving yourself is about being comfortable in your own skin, enjoying solitude and being happy with how you look, talk or dress, and not needing another person to “feel complete.” Such self-confidence will not only make you attractive but also help you in understanding others.
  1. Stop looking for it and start being yourself. We understand if you feel that you cannot wait to find true love. But going on a quest or forcing yourself to find it will only leave you disappointed, or worse, with the wrong person. Instead, be yourself, do things that make you happy, and spend time with people who share similar interests. And when the time is right, you may bump into that person who could be your true love.

Be loving to others to find true loveBe loving to others to find true love

Image: Shutterstock

  1. Stop fearing the worst. Our past experiences and insecurities can prevent us from opening up. This could be a natural mechanism to protect ourselves from pain and hurt. But, if you always fear the worst and close yourself off, you are reducing your chances of finding true love. Confidence is the key to finding true love. So deal with your fear, and step out of your comfort zone.
  1. Good things come to those who wait. You cannot expect to find true love overnight. Even after you find someone compatible, it takes time to reach a state where you truly, unconditionally love each other. True love is not necessarily instant. So do not rush things and force yourself or that person into a relationship that neither of you is ready for.

Take things slowly, spend time with each other, and become best friends. But, if things don’t work out, do not give up. Learn from that experience and move on.

If you have found that someone special, then look for some of these signs to know if they are the one.

Signs Of True Love

True love can make a relationship strong and long-lasting. It can change you into a better person, and it could also be one of the best things to have happened in your life. But how do you know you really have it? Read more to find out..

1. You are transparent.

When two people love each other genuinely, they would want to be transparent with each other. No lies or hiding facts. Whether it is about a text from an old flame or a huge financial loss, nothing is hidden in the relationship. You would also want to share everything about your life: your past, present, as well as the plans for the future with your partner.

2. You do not resort to petty games.

True love will never have any malicious intentions. You love them without any conditions attached. Someone with ulterior motives would play games to manipulate and get their way. For example, they’d use sex or expensive gifts to get the partner to do things for them. That is not real love.

protip_icon Point to consider

When you find that special someone, you wish to grow together in every aspect of your life. You start picturing your future with them and their presence seems to make everything better.

3. Your eyes and heart do not wander.

There will always be someone prettier or more successful than your partner, but you will not be interested if you truly love them. Your love would be so strong that no matter how good someone might seem, you will find qualities in your partner that are better. Even in those times when you find yourself in a compromising situation, you will say NO! And run back to your partner. Such is the power of true love.

4. You do not focus on their flaws.

When we say flaw, we mean trivial things like laziness to do the laundry, not being punctual, etc. Such things can be overlooked when you love someone, as no one is perfect. You have your flaws too!

But, this doesn’t mean you tolerate abuse, or infidelity, which are not mere flaws. If you don’t mind your partner being a little rough around the edges, then you are genuinely in love.

5. You are kind and generous to them.

True love makes you kind

Image: IStock

When you truly love someone, you will do anything to see a smile on their face. You would go out of your way to be kind and generous towards them. You cannot shout at or demean your partner and call it love! When you truly love someone, you treat them with kindness and are generous towards their mistakes.

6. You respect and treat them as your equal.

Respect is another form of true love. If you truly love your partner, you would respect their views, life choices, and opinions. You will treat them as your equal and trust their decisions. You will see good in them and believe that their exceptional qualities make your life better.

7. You share their sorrows and support them.

Love is not always about how happy you both are, and true love knows this. If you found true love, you can never leave them alone during tough times. You would not think twice about supporting them. Your first instinct would be to leave everything and comfort them when they need it.

8. You try to see things from their perspective.

True love only knows the difference between self-care and selfishness. So, when you are in a relationship with someone you love, you genuinely try to understand and see things from their perspective. During conflicts, you can see their true intentions and would not judge them for wanting something different.

If you could relate to these signs, then you are lucky to have found true love. But do not be disappointed if you couldn’t relate to it. If you are in a relationship where you and your partner love and value each other, then do not think less of it just because you are not feeling an out-of-the-world connection.

True love is something you develop over time, as you get to know each other better. All that is needed is patience and some effort from both the partners. But can true love last a lifetime? How do you ensure that?

How To Make True Love Last?

Being truly loved is a rare and special experience that not everyone gets to enjoy. If you have been lucky enough to have found it, it is good to know how to make it last.

  1. When you are fortunate enough to find true love, never take it for granted. If your partner is showering you with unconditional love, value it and try to reciprocate. If they love you enough to accept your weaknesses and let your mistakes slide, it is because they truly love you, and not because their life is dependent on you. So, to make your true love last, you need to work at it too.
  1. No matter how busy you are in life, or how old your relationship might be, never underestimate the importance of spending quality time together. This allows you both to talk to each other and share your feelings. So, pick up a hobby and use it to have fun and love each other a little more each day.

Spend quality time with partner

Image: Shutterstock

  1. Do the little things and random acts of kindness that can create magic in your relationship. It shows your partner that even after all these years, you still love them the same. Also, selflessness is a sign of true love.
  1. Let go of the past. If you loved your partner enough to forgive their mistakes, never bring them up in the future. Your love had the strength to move on from the murky past, so if you want to keep it, let go of it, and look toward the future.
  1. Be honest. The foundation to true love is honesty; if you have nothing to hide from each other, then you are already halfway through showing true love. Honesty builds trust, and with trust, your love comes out stronger than ever.
  1. Show genuine care. If you truly love your partner, then show it in your actions by caring for each other’s physical and emotional well being. Also, support each other and tackle any issue as a team.

1. What is the highest form of love?

Selfless love is the pinnacle of affection as it is unconditional, requiring no recompense, yet with utmost compassion for the other.

2. How do I know if it’s true love or infatuation?

Infatuation often starts with a strong physical attraction, and while it can be exciting, it’s important to look deeper for emotional depth. True love, on the other hand, is characterized by a deep understanding and compassion for the other person, and a genuine desire for their happiness. This type of love involves making sacrifices and is a lifelong commitment, with feelings that only grow stronger over time. By focusing on these deeper aspects, you can recognize true love and build a fulfilling relationship.

True love is a deep and emotional connection you establish with someone you are ready to be with your entire life without any conditions. To find true love, you need to be open to it and love yourself. This way, you will know how you want to be loved and understood. True love will not be far away once you’ve learned to do that, and the right person will come along. The subtle yet obvious signs will guide you towards your person. Nurture your love with care, understanding, and trust, and hold on to your true love, for it is a blessing that many people may struggle to find.

Infographic: Signs Of True Love

True love is when you do not just adore your loved one but also respect, care, and never abuse or mistreat them. Here is an infographic that presents more signs and characteristics of true love.

signs and characteristics of true love (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Download Infographic in PDF version

Key Pointers

  • True love is a selfless feeling where you love each other unconditionally without any limitations.
  • There is support and understanding without expecting anything in return.
  • To find true love, you need to love yourself first, so it helps in understanding others.

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Woman holding a white heart in her hands during winters

In This Article

A relationship comprises friendship, sexual attraction, intellectual compatibility, and, of course, love. Love is the glue that keeps a relationship strong. It is deeply biological. But what is love, and how do you know if you are truly in love? 

It isn’t easy to define love because everyone’s perception of real love can be dramatically different. People often get confused between lust, attraction, and companionship. Hence, there is no one best definition of love.     

However, love can be summarized as an intense feeling of euphoria and deep affection for someone or something. This love definition or love meaning might only encompass some of the emotions that comprise how you feel when you are in love.      

Is love an emotion? Yes. 

Can abstract emotions such as love be defined in specific terms? Maybe not. 

However, there are certain words and actions that fall in the realm of love, while others do not. 

Some gestures can be termed love. On the other hand, some other emotions and feelings can be confused for love, but people soon realize that they are not true love. Here is to understanding more about love and the feeling.

What is the real meaning of love?

Man and woman bringing hands together to make a heart

If you want to define love in one sentence, love is one of the most profound emotions humans experience. It is a combination of attraction and closeness. The person we feel attracted to or close to is the person we are usually in love with.            

Such a person can be a friend, parent, sibling, or even our pet. Such love is based on a feeling of attraction or affection.

The full meaning of love can be seen in different ways because there are different types of love. The answer to the question, “What is love for you?” can differ for everyone, depending on the relationship in context. 

As per the Cambridge dictionary, love is defined as liking another adult very much and being romantically and sexually attracted to them or having strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family.

While this is a more literal definition, love can be defined in many other ways.

How to describe the romantic meaning of love? 

Feelings of love can be defined as an amalgamation of various other emotions. Love is caring, compassion, patience, not being jealous, not having expectations, giving yourself and other people a chance, and not rushing. 

What does love mean, then? You ask. Love has often been used as a noun, but love is a verb in practice. It is about what we do for others and how we make others feel loved and cared for.

Man and woman lying on grass and spelling love with their hands

The history of love                         

Like most things around the world, love has also transformed over the years and centuries. Love was not always the way we know it now. 

Research shows that back in the day, love was secondary or not even considered when it came to a union between two people. Marriages, which in some cultures and parts of the world are known as the ultimate goal of a romantic relationship, were mostly transactional. 

People marry based on whether or not the marriage would bring them any benefits in terms of wealth and power.

However, if we look at art forms such as poetry, love is an old emotion – something people have been experiencing for a long time. 

White man and woman standing together looking at each other

What does real love feel like?

Love is a holistic feeling. It involves many elements, words, and actions which define love. What love means to you depends on how it makes you feel and the experiences it brings into your life.  

Many people may wonder what is the meaning of love in a relationship. The answer lies in the elements of love.

1. Care

Care is one of the primary elements of love. 

If we love someone, we care about them, their feelings, and their well-being. We may go out of our way to ensure they are okay and even compromise and sacrifice our needs and wants to give them what they need.

Related Reading: Simple Steps to Take Care of Your Relationships

Man and woman standing facing each other with their minds at unrest

2. Admiration

Admiration is very crucial in love and relationships. 

Admiration can be for their physicality or even for their mind and personality. Liking someone for their external and internal self and respecting their thoughts is an essential element of love.

3. Desire

Desire is both sexual and physical and mental. 

Just wanting to spend more time with someone, being around them, and wanting them – are all parts of the desire you feel when you are in love with someone

Happy couple in love looking at each other

12 telltale signs of love

Love is an emotion, but people do show signs of being in love. You can tell if someone is in love with you by the things they do for you, their words, and how they behave with you.

Here are some signs that can explain “What is love” in an informed manner:

1. Love is generous

In a truly loving relationship, we give to the other without an expectation of return. We need to keep an account of who did what for the other. Giving pleasure to our partner gives us pleasure, too.

2. We feel what our partner feels

The true meaning of love is to feel a sense of joy when we see our partner happy. When we see that they are sad or depressed, we feel their blue mood, too. With love comes empathy for the other person’s emotional state.

White man and woman with hands placed on the Bible          

3. Love means compromise

The real meaning of love in a relationship is to willfully compromise your needs to accommodate your partner’s needs or desires.

But we don’t sacrifice ourselves in doing this, nor should the other person require us to sacrifice ourselves for their gain. That’s not what love is all about in a relationship; that’s control and abuse.

4. Respect and kindness

What is true love?

When we love, we act respectfully and kindly toward each other.

We do not intentionally hurt or denigrate our partners. When we talk about them in their absence, it is with such warmth that the listeners can hear the love in our words. We do not criticize our partners behind their backs.

Related Reading: Niceness Vs Kindness in Relationships-what Matters the Most?

5. We act with ethics and morals

Our love for the other person enables us to act morally and ethically with them and in our community. Their presence in our life makes us want to be better people so that they will continue to admire us.

6. We guard each other’s solitude

With love, we never feel lonely, even when alone. The very thought of the other person makes us feel as if we have a guardian angel with us at all times.

Finger pointed at black and white pictures of married couple

7. Their success is yours as well

What is true love in a relationship?

When our partner succeeds at something after a long effort, we beam with joy as if we were the winner, too. There is no feeling of jealousy or competition, just pure pleasure at seeing our beloved’s success.

8. They are always on our mind

Even when separated for work, travel, or other commitments, our thoughts drift towards them and what they might be doing “right now.”

Man and woman on a swing on vacation

9. Sexual intimacy deepens

With love, sex becomes sacred. Unlike the early days, our lovemaking is now deep and holy, a true joining of bodies and minds.

10. We feel safe

The presence of love in the relationship allows us to feel protected and safe, as if the other person is a safe harbor for us to come home to. With them, we feel a sense of security and stability.

Watch this video to learn more about creating a safe relationship:

11. We feel seen and heard

Our partner sees us for who we are and still loves us. We can show all our positive and negative sides and receive their love unconditionally.

They know who we are at our core. Love allows us to bare our souls and feel grace in return.

12. Love helps fight without fear

What is love all about? It is a sense of security.

If we are secure in our love relationship, we know we can argue and that it will not break us apart. We agree to disagree and don’t hold grudges for too long because we don’t like to hold bad feelings toward our partner.

Man kissing woman on cheek while they both sit in nature

8 different types of love 

There are eight different types of love, according to Greek mythology. These include –

1. Family love or Storgy

This refers to the type of love we share with our family – parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and others.

2. Marital love or Eros

This is the type of romantic love  we feel with a partner who we wish to marry or have already married. 

Loving man and woman standing together with light shining between them

3. Love by the principle – Agape

This love is not based on emotions but on principles. It is referred to as the love for people we do not like, the love for the unlovable.

4. Brotherly love – Phileo/Philia

As the name suggests, brotherly love is love for our close ones, who we hold as dear as family. These people, however, are not our family by blood.

5. Obsessive Love – Mania

Obsessive love, also known as Mania, is an obsession with one person or a certain way of loving them. Such love hinders your growth and can interfere with your personal and professional life.

Man and woman facing opposite sides in bed after a fight

6. Enduring love – Pragma

Enduring love is the kind of deep, true love that people in long, meaningful relationships experience.

7. Playful love – Ludus

Playful love, also called young love, is what you feel when you think the whole world has conspired for the two of you to be together. This love, however, comes with an expiry date and might die down with time.

Happy couple on a beach vacation

8. Self love – Philautia

This type of love has been talked about quite a bit, especially recently. It talks about appreciation and care for yourself before you set out to give it to someone else.

Related Reading: 30 Ways to Practice Self-Love and Be Good to Yourself

Impact of being in love

Love is a very powerful emotion. Therefore, it can have both positive and negative impacts on us. These effects of love can range from physical, emotional, and even psychological. True feelings of love can change us.

Man and woman in love with each other as they look in each other's eyes

  • The positive impact of love

Love is known to have a very positive impact on our well-being, body, and mind. 

The feelings of unconditional love, non-judgment, independence, and security that come with a healthy relationship can boost self-esteem and confidence. It also reduces stress, which is a common denominator for various mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression. 

Couple therapy shows that some of the positive impacts of love include the following –

    • Reduced risk of heart diseases
    • Less fatality risk due to heart attacks
    • Healthy habits
    • Increased chances of a long and healthy life
    • Lower stress levels
    • Reduced risk of mental health issues like depression.
  • The negative impact of love

Unhealthy, unrequited love and bad relationships can negatively impact your body, mind, and well-being. 

Bad relationships that are toxic from the beginning or turn toxic with time can lead to insecurities that develop deeper than just the relationship and affect a person’s mental health and future relationships. 

The feelings of not being good enough, not doing things right, and being unable to meet expectations can make one feel less of themselves. People leaving without explanations, cheating, and lying can lead to abandonment issues that last longer than the relationship.

Woman removing sticky note that says I love you from mirror

The negative impacts of love can be as follows.

  • Increased risk of heart diseases
  • Spiked risk of heart attacks
  • High levels of stress
  • Slower disease recovery
  • Poor mental health

How to practice love

As mentioned above, love is an amalgamation of various factors and feelings. To practice love healthily and make the people in our lives feel loved, we have to be open to love. 

Old white couple in love with each other

There is no sure-shot step-by-step guide on how to practice love, but these points may help.

  • Be more compassionate, take care of the people you love
  • Be vulnerable, let your guard down and open up to your partner/parent/sibling
  • Be willing to accept your flaws
  • Accept your mistakes and realize how they affect the other person
  • Apologize
  • Forgive the people you love when you can tell they are genuinely sorry
  • Listen to your loved ones
  • Prioritize your time with them
  • Make sure you are there for the big days
  • Reciprocate their words, gestures, and feelings
  • Show affection
  • Appreciate them

Man and woman in love during the winter season

Some commonly asked questions

Love is an emotion based on which many poems, movies and songs are made. However, there are still many questions that it raises.

  • What is the deepest form of love?

The deepest form of love is the one that encompasses within it feelings of empathy and respect. It is not just focused on selfish pursuits but changes the focus to look out for the well-being of the person you love. 

The deep meaning of love encompasses other emotions that show how much you value and care for the one you love. 

  • Can you love two people at the same time?

Yes, it is possible for people to love multiple people at the same time. However, the elements of love for each person might be different. 

Studies have shown that people can love two people at the same time. One in six people interviewed in the study admitted to feeling attracted to and attached to more than one person simultaneously. 

Man proposing to woman at Eiffel Tower in Paris

The bottom line

If you have often asked yourself, “What is love in a relationship?” this article may have given you some insights. 

The bottom line is that certain feelings such as care, patience, respect, and others are what is love all about in a relationship. 

Factors such as wanting and needing love, how we love, and the importance of love are essential to understand when answering the question, “What is love?”

Love is a complex emotion and can differ from person to person. Even if you feel you need clarification about what is love and what it’s like to be in love, you will most likely figure it out with time. 

true love in couple in relationship

So, what is true love? How do you know if you and your partner truly love each other? Or if you want your relationship to last, how should you love each other?

No one is perfect, and as human beings, we could fail in how we treat our partners. However, if we want to give true love in our relationship, we have to change our ways that can harm our partner and relationship.

Here are the characteristics of a real and genuine love based on the popularly quoted 1 Corinthians 13.

What True Love Really Means in a Relationship

1. Love is patient.

If we love a person, we do not easily get impatient with him/her. We should understand that our partners are not perfect, so we must not pressure them to change in one click or to perfect what we want them to do.

2. Love is kind.

Just like how we deal with other people we care for, we have to treat our partners kindly. Even if they could be annoying sometimes, we still have to be kind to them. That means we do not speak or act harshly towards them. We should also be thoughtful of their needs and serve them in any way we can.

3. Love does not envy.

True love does not compete. We should not see our partners as our rivals. We should be happy with their accomplishments, even if they become more successful than us. This is because love is selfless, and we put their happiness and welfare before ours.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Stop Competing with Each Other in a Relationship

4. Love does not boast.

On the other hand, we should not make our partners envious of our achievements. Yes, we want them to strive harder to pursue their dreams, but pressuring them to compare their selves to ours could only make them insecure.

5. Love is not proud.

Pride is one of the worst enemies of love. Usually, relationships do not work because either both of the couple or one of them is prideful. When conflicts happen, it is usually hard for partners to admit mistakes and apologize. However, true love is characterized by humility. We should be willing to say sorry first even if we think it is not our fault.

6. Love is not rude.

This is the same as being kind. Even if we have differences with our partners, we should avoid being rude to them in words and actions. We do not want to hurt the ones we love, right? For this reason, no matter how bad the misunderstanding is, we must control ourselves from saying painful or degrading words that could ruin their self-esteem. We should not also hurt them by doing things we know could insult them.

7. Love is not self-seeking.

Love is selfless. That means we should put the needs and feelings of our loved ones before ours. We should also be willing to sacrifice time, effort, even resources for them especially in times of need. Moreover, we must not demand the same things from them. Yes, we deserve them, but if the level of affection in the relationship is the same, we do not have to express these demands. They are willingly and freely given. Have faith in the love of your partner for you.

8. Love is not easily angered.

Since love is patient, we can control our anger towards our partners. This does not mean it is impossible to get angry at them—we are humans too. Nevertheless, we should not be angered immediately especially by small things. Before throwing tantrums, we have to give time to listen to them first if they commit a mistake. Our love for them should be greater than their mistakes.

9. Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Once we have forgiven our partners for their mistakes, we should already let go of those past failures. Although we cannot literally forget them, we should not bring the dead out of the graves anymore during new fights. Let us avoid reminding our partners of their past mistakes. This is not a history class anyway.

10. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

This means we must not tolerate our loved ones’ mistakes, especially if these could harm them and others. Even if it could hurt them, and they may think we are being unsupportive, we need to rebuke them if they are doing something not good. If those mistakes need to be exposed for the welfare of many, then we have to do it even if it is difficult. It would help them correct their mistakes and live a better life in the long run.

11. Love always protects.

On the other hand, love always seeks to protect our partners. Helping them give up bad habits and rebuking them for bad things as early as possible is actually one way of protecting them. Furthermore, we have to be willing to stand by their side when everyone is against them. We should also defend them not just from physical harm but from emotional, psychological, mental, and spiritual injury as well.

12. Love always trusts.

Doubts and mistrust can weaken love. We have to assure our partners that we trust them, and that means we should not stop them from seeing friends of the opposite sex or going to other places without us. Also, this trust is not only limited to the fidelity of our partners. As someone who truly loves, we have to be the first ones to believe in them. There would be times that they would be down and discouraged. When this happens, let us make them know that we trust their capabilities to surpass trials and reach their goals.

13. Love always hopes.

In connection to #12, we should not give up on our partners. Even if the relationship is on a rocky road or our partners are messing up, we should not leave them easily. As much as we can, we should hope for the best in our relationship. We should believe that the best is yet to come.

14. Love always perseveres.

No relationship will last if partners would not work hard to make it last. Of course, there will be challenges and down moments in a relationship. However, if we do not easily give up, and we continually put enough effort to overcome differences, settle conflicts, and take care of each other, then love will thrive.

True love is not perfect. There will be problems and fights too. To overcome them, both partners need cooperation and determination in a relationship. It needs a mutual understanding to keep it balanced.

True love is not created by magic, but instead, it creates magic when we give our best to achieve it.

ALSO READ:
22 Signs of True Love in a Relationship
11 Clear Signs of True Love from a Man
12 Real Signs of True Love from a Woman
21 Characteristics of True Love According to the Bible
True Love vs. Fake Love: 20 Differences You Must Know

Online courses recommended for you:

  • Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
    Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
  • Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
    This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.

Photo by photo-nic.co.uk nic

Cyril Abello

Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.

Is love real? Will I ever find love? Are all those romantic poems and deep love quotes inspired by true love, or are they just an illusion of something unattainable?

Are human beings capable of experiencing love in all its glory and the challenges that come with it? Wait, what is love, and how do we know that it even exists?

Love is a complex concept that words can’t really define, but it has to be recognized and felt by our hearts and souls. That’s how you know it’s real.

Love is the feeling you get when you impatiently wait for your loved one’s reply or when a forehead kiss multiplies those butterflies in your stomach. Love is also feeling confused and not knowing if it’s real or not.

Love is so powerful that there aren’t simply enough paragraphs in the world to define its essence. Today, we’ll try to fix that. The following paragraphs are written in an attempt to simplify love and celebrate its divine complexity.

Is Love Real Or An Illusion?

a couple in love looking at each other

We’ve all witnessed the lavishness of love portrayed in movies. Once two souls fall in love with each other, their worlds become brighter and more colorful. Of course, before they’re ready to indulge in the essence of pure love, they need to overcome a few challenges.

After that, they usually reach the happy-ever-after stage, and we’re all happy for them. Inspired by their romance, we start contemplating the definition of love in real life.

Are we capable of experiencing love as it is depicted in movies, or is all of this just a big lie sold to us to make us feel less miserable?

(Pardon me for the following digression.)

The other day, when I was in a cab, Hillsong Young & Free’s “Real Love” made the awkward silence extremely bearable. The This is real love lyrics are still ringing in my ears:

“Yeah, this love is for real

You will never let go

Never let go, oh

And it’s more than just words

Love beyond my control

Out of control

This is real love

This is real love…”

When the song finished, multiple questions occupied my brain, such as the following:

Is love fake? Is true love real? Does real love exist? Wait, is he my soulmate? How do I know the difference between love and infatuation?

Suddenly, Lady Gaga’s “Perfect Illusion” lyrics started to mix with Hillsong Young & Free’s: “It wasn’t love, it wasn’t love. It was a perfect illusion (Perfect illusion)…”

So, I decided to do my research. Here’s what I found out based on my personal experience (and of people close to me) and data I found on the internet:

Love is real, but it can’t really be defined. You either experience the intense feelings of love, or you don’t. You either know it’s true love, or you don’t.

If you ask me, there’s no gray area here. Things are actually pretty simple: We fall in love, and we either stay in love with that person, or we fall out of love, and that’s the reality.

If you can express feelings of love, then you know it’s real.

Is Love At First Sight Real?

a smiling man and woman stand on the stairs and talk

Is love real? Yes, it is. But, is love at first sight real, and why does it happen?

Whenever I try to imagine the concept of falling in love at first sight, I think of this: A man and a woman on the street (or at a bar) looking each other in the eye. Then comes the moment of sudden realization that they know each other even though it’s their first encounter.

Time stops. Everyone else around them becomes invisible, and it feels like a real-life movie scene of soulmates connecting through the eyes. But, is it really like this? Let’s find out.

There aren’t many studies on love at first sight, but here’s an interesting empirical investigation from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. Researcher Florian Zsok and his team discovered that love at first sight happens rarely.

In their study, such love was based primarily on signs of physical attraction between two people. Basically, what these two people are experiencing is lust and not love at first sight.

However, through time, this lust turns into something more meaningful, and that’s when we can officially call it ‘love at first sight.’

So, is love at first sight real? Yes, it is real, but it is based on physical attraction, and every single one of us experiences it differently.

In case you’re not sure whether you’re experiencing it or not, here are a few signs of love at first sight:

  • An urgent desire to know more about the other person.
  • Lust is accompanied by a feeling of comfort, curiosity, and hopefulness.
  • Consistent direct eye contact.
  • Being unable to stop thinking about that special person.

Also, don’t forget to trust your gut feelings because they always tell the truth. This is often neglected by a lot of people.

What Is Love, Really?

a beautiful man and woman sit embracing

What does love feel like? How do you explain love in words?

Well, there isn’t one true definition of love that is universally accepted. Every single one of us experiences it in a different way.

Of course, there are some things that the majority of us experience, such as butterflies in our stomach that are really intense not only during high school but generally in the honeymoon phase. (I hope you noticed my sarcastic attempts.)

Even though I can’t give you a universal definition of love, I can try to explain it in my own words because I was lucky to experience it.

So, romantic love is the most natural feeling in the world because love feels easy. Of course, challenges are inevitable, but most of the time, love feels like breathing.

Love is two people trying to make the relationship work.

It’s when you can’t wait to share every single detail of your past and your life today with your significant other because it makes you feel even more connected to them.

You also want to know everything about them (their preferences, their past mistakes, goals, dreams). You can’t stop thinking about all those corny romantic things to say to them.

Love means fighting for one another, taking care of each other’s well-being, and being responsible for each other’s happiness.

Love means being together even when there’s no laughter or hope for better days because love stays no matter the circumstances.

Love also means writing 365 reasons why I love you for each day of the year because nothing is too much for the person you love.

It’s the warm feeling that you get every time you read their text message or hear their voice, even if you’ve been together for years.

It’s when you feel someone is thinking about you, and you know that someone is them. And whenever you kiss or make love, it feels like the first time.

RELATED: 20 Telltale Signs You Will Never Find Love (And How to Change It)

What Are The Five Love Languages?

the man hugged the woman as they sat in the boat

You have probably heard about the concept of the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. These love languages include affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Every person has their own love language (or a few of them), so learning different types of love languages helps create the needed balance in a relationship:

Words of affirmation

a man and a woman embracing

This love language includes spoken words, praise, and appreciation. A person with this love language enjoys receiving inspiring love quotes, love songs, cute texts, I miss you quotes, hearing sweet I love you sayings, etc.

If your loved one speaks this love language, use words of affirmation to make them feel special and appreciated. You can do this by complimenting them or simply expressing your feelings in various ways.

Quality time

Spending quality time together means giving your loved one your undivided attention. Indeed, the most precious thing you can give someone you care about is your time.

This means taking a break from your cell phone (no social media), maintaining eye contact, and actively listening to their every word.

This love language expresses love in one of the most intimate ways, and it helps you establish a deep connection, which is the key to every healthy relationship.

Physical touch

a smiling man and woman sit drinking coffee and talking

People with physical touch love language express love through physical touch. This includes holding hands, subtle touches, giving your special one a massage after a long day at work, etc.

Physical touch also includes long cuddling sessions (my personal favorite). If your partner speaks this love language, make sure to express your affection through the magic of physical closeness and touch.

Acts of service

This love language includes little acts of service, such as helping with the dishes, random chores, making them coffee, helping them with different tasks (especially when they ask you to).

Doing little things for your loved ones is one of the most romantic ways to express your ultimate love and affection. At the end of the day, it’s the little things that make us happy.

Receiving gifts

Gift-giving is a symbol of love and affection where time and effort invested in the gift is as equally praised as the gift itself.

Don’t get me wrong. People with this love language don’t expect expensive gifts, but they pay more attention to what’s behind it because there lies the true appeal.

Is Love Scientifically Proven?

a beautiful couple standing in the park and kissing

Yes, there is actual science to love because when we fall in love, there are biochemical changes that happen in our brains.

Many studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, they all go through the three stages of love. Each one of these stages is driven by a unique blend of brain chemicals:

  • Lust: Lust is governed by the levels of testosterone (men) and estrogen (women) in our bodies.
  • Attraction: Attraction is governed by adrenaline (fight or flight), norepinephrine (alertness), dopamine (pleasure), and serotonin (happiness). When combined, these chemicals are responsible for feeling euphoria, skin flushing, sweaty palms, and increased heartbeat. That is when the early signs of compatibility and powerful signs of chemistry start to develop.
  • Attachment: Attachment is driven by oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin is known as the ‘cuddle’ hormone, and that’s the reason people begin to feel closely bonded to each other. Also, this is the hormone that drives the bond between mother and child.

If you’re still asking yourself, Is love real? now you know for sure that it is because if it isn’t, we wouldn’t be able to scientifically prove it, right?

Some of you might think now: There is no such thing as love. It’s your brain playing tricks on you. Well, maybe you’re right about that.

You can call it ‘love’ or your ‘brain playing tricks on you,’ but we all know that it goes far beyond simple neurons, pheromones, and chemical reactions in the brain.

These chemicals explain why it is so painful to break up a romantic relationship (especially a long-term relationship).

Getting over heartbreak hurts so much because losing someone you love is almost the same thing as going through withdrawal. Finding love after heartbreak is even more challenging, and some of us even develop philophobia (the fear of falling in love).

How Do You Know If It’s Real Love?

a man bought a woman a gift

Now that we’ve established that love does exist, another question arises: How can you know if the love you feel is real love? We’ve all heard stories about fake love, and some of us have even experienced it.

If you have gone through it, know that I’m truly sorry. I encourage you not to lose hope in real love because it does exist. Now you are probably wondering: But how can you prove it?

I have a question for you too: Have you ever fallen in love with someone but were unable to express in words why you like that person so much?

If yes, then that’s how you know it’s the real thing. It’s when you feel deep down in your heart that they are your special person and your love is real, but you cannot prove it to anyone or yourself with neither words nor actions.

Truth be told, this feeling can be applied to different types of love: love toward your family members, romantic love, love toward your friends, love toward the whole world, known as agape love.

If you’re interested in the concept of true love in romantic relationships, here’s how to recognize it:

Real love is not demanding

Such love accepts flaws and imperfections, giving you enough space to express yourself and be who you really are.

Waking up without any makeup, not shaving your beard for some time, and sharing tears and happy moments are all priceless experiences that make your bond even stronger.

Real love comes naturally

If you’re asking yourself too many questions about your relationship, your partner, and your future together, then something is not right. Then, you know you’re probably not in love.

When you know, you know.

When you’re truly in love, everything feels natural, and you know you’ll always be there for each other, no matter what happens.

You’re no longer afraid of the future because you know you have each other’s backs, even if the whole world is against you. That’s the ultimate power of unconditional love, aka undying love – the kind of love that many of us chase without knowing that it comes naturally.

It is reciprocal

a man hugged a woman in the bedroom

Real love doesn’t support only giving or only receiving. Real love is reciprocal and balanced, and it makes sacrifices for each other’s well-being.

You know you’re in a loving relationship when you’re focused more on giving than on receiving. When both partners feel that way, balance is created. That balance is called real love.

Real love is based on friendship

To experience real love, you need to be friends with your partner. This includes spending quality time together, sharing jokes, talking about things that annoy you and things that inspire you.

Real love means sharing passions and understanding each other’s dreams. True love is based on friendship because true friendship lasts forever.

RELATED: 10 Steps To Manifesting Love With A Specific Person Using The Law Of Attraction

It is committed

Being truly in love with someone means not wanting to be with anyone else but them. You know it’s unconditional love when nothing and no one can replace your loved one.

No matter how attractive other people are (both mentally and physically), you simply don’t feel the need to be with others. Why?

Because they are not your significant other, and you know they would never be able to make you as happy as them.

Real love lasts

True love lasts because when you truly love someone, you’re ready to work through anything just to stay together. It lasts because both partners fight for it day after day.

Neither serious nor trivial problems can destroy real love’s balance because a couples’ determination, love, and respect for one another are stronger than any obstacle out there.

You know it’s real love when you no longer ask yourself that one question, Is love real? because you finally know the answer to that question.

Still having doubts?

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, then you know you’re meant to be together, and it’s real love.

TRUE LOVE vs FAKE LOVE

Is Love Real Quotes

a couple in love lying on the bed and looking at each other

Still wondering if true love exists? There is no better way to depict what real love really is than with heartwarming unconditional love quotes. These quotes will help you understand what it feels like to love and be loved truly:

1. “True love lasts forever.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin

2. “True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

3. “True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.” – Honoré de Balzac

4. “Real love is always chaotic. You lose control; you lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given, and that’s the secret.” – Jonathan Carroll

5. “Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious thing in the world.” – Nicholas Sparks

6. “True love brings up everything – you’re allowing a mirror to be held up to you daily.” – Jennifer Aniston

7. “True love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And, if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

8. “True love is choosing the many things a person did right rather than the one thing he did wrong. True love does not keep a record of wrongs.” – Unknown

9. “Love is pure and true; love knows no gender.” – Tori Spelling

10. “True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” – Ellen G. White

11. “True love that lasts forever… Yes, I do believe in it. My parents have been married for 40 years, and my grandparents were married for 70 years. I come from a long line of true loves.” – Zooey Deschanel

12. “True love does not only encompass the things that make you feel good, it also holds you to a standard of accountability.” – Monica Johnson

13. “True love is knowing a person’s faults, and loving them even more for them.” – Unknown

14. “True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend.” – Faye Hall

15. “I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you or if it was the second or third or fourth. But, I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow, the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” – Cassandra Clare

16. “Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” – Mandy Hale

17. “Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to no matter where you’re headed” – Jodi Picoult

18. “I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.” – Steve Maraboli

19. “It is only with true love and compassion that we can begin to mend what is broken in the world. It is these two blessed things that can begin to heal all broken hearts.” – Steve Maraboli

20. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.” – Nicholas Sparks

21. “True love doesn’t need proof. The eyes told what the heart felt.” – Toba Beta

22. “True love is not a hide-and-seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

23. “True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are and saying, ‘I’m not afraid to believe in you.’” – Cara Lockwood

24. “My heart is set as firmly as ever the heart of man was set on woman. I have no thought, no view, no hope in life beyond her; and if you oppose me in this great stake, you take my peace and happiness in your hands and cast them to the wind.” – Charles Dickens

25. “To be deeply loved means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities… hopes, hurts, fears, and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are is the real you, and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling than complete love; it’s worth the risk… reach for it.” – Jaeda DeWalt

Love Is Real If You Believe It Is

a smiling man and woman sitting outdoors

So, is love real or an illusion? Hmm… The real question is: Is anything real nowadays? Just because we can’t see or touch love doesn’t mean it’s not real.

Love is a feeling, and it’s a powerful one. It can trick you into doing things you never thought of doing, and it can make you question your sanity and reality. Love is real if you believe it is.

So, trust the universe that your soulmate is thinking of you right now, and it’s only a matter of time before your souls reunite and discover the magic of true love.

Ever wondered about the meaning of true love? Want to know if unconditional love exists? Sadhguru shares his insights on a topic that is timeless yet vitally relevant right now.

ArticleNov 20, 2020

Table of Content
1. Falling in Love
2. How to Love Unconditionally
3. The Generous Brothers
4. A Pool of Gratitude
5. Love is a Fragile Dimension of Life
6. Love as a Need
7. The Story of the Queen’s Love
8. What is the Meaning of True Love?
9. A Simple Process to Become Loving

Falling in Love

Sadhguru: The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because no one rises in love or climbs in love. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go. If not the whole of you, at least a part of you should collapse. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself. Unfortunately, what most people call «love» is just a mutual benefit scheme.

You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go.

One day, Shankaran Pillai went to a park. There was a pretty woman sitting on a stone bench there. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved a little closer to her. She moved away. Again, he waited for a few minutes and inched a little closer to her. She moved away. He waited again, and then inched even closer. By then she had moved to the very end of the bench. He reached out and put his hand on her. She shrugged him off. He sat there for a while, then went down on his knees, plucked a flower, gave it to her and said, “I love you. I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life.”

She melted. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. It was getting late in the evening; Shankaran Pillai got up and he said, “I need to leave. It’s eight o’clock. My wife will be waiting.”

She said, “What? You’re leaving? You just said you loved me!”

“Yes, but it’s time. I need to go.”

Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs. One of the best ways to fulfill these needs is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You try to get what you want by saying it.

Every action that we do is in some way to fulfill certain needs. If you see this, there is a possibility that you can grow into love as your natural quality. But people go on fooling themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort and wellbeing, are actually relationships of love. I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in those relationships, but it is within certain limitations. It does not matter how much “I love you” has been said, if a few expectations and requisites are not fulfilled, things will fall apart.

How to Love Unconditionally

meera-bai-wikipedia-paint

When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many people made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you, that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient.

What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions. But love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional.

When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient. Most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up. If you have to be in love, you should not be. You as a person must be willing to fall, only then it can happen. If your personality is kept strong in the process, it is just a convenient situation, that’s all. We need to recognize what is a transaction and what is truly a love affair. A love affair need not be with any particular person. You could be having a great love affair, not with anyone in particular, but with life.

What you do, what you do not do, is according to circumstances around you. Our actions are as the external situation demands. What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions. But love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional.

The Generous Brothers

My great-grandmother told me many stories – this is one that stuck with me. This story is not the basis of my life but definitely shaped me in some ways. There was a man and his wife. In those days, the man worked the land, grew crops, and made money. And if you had boys, you could work more land. They had two boys. These two boys grew up into strong young men. They worked hard with their father, increased their land, and became well-to-do. When the man was getting very old, he told his two sons, “I may die anytime. This is one thing you must maintain at all times. After my death, both of you should always share the produce of this land fifty-fifty. Never should there be any debate, argument, or fight about that.”

The old man died, and the boys took care of that. In India and many other parts of the world at that time, there was no question of dividing the land. Only the produce could be divided, not the land. Only in the last four generations, maybe after the British came, we started dividing the land. So, the two brothers always split the produce equally between themselves.

One of them got married, and he had five children. The other one never got married. But still they shared fifty-fifty. One day, a worm entered the unmarried brother’s head. He thought, “My brother has a wife and five children to take care of, and I am single. Still I take fifty percent, and he takes fifty percent. This does not seem to be fair. But it was our father’s wish. And my brother is so proud that if I try to give him some more, he will not take it. So let me do something else.” He started an operation. Once the harvest was over, every night, he secretly carried a sack of grain on his back and put it in his brother’s store.

The same worm entered his brother’s head, and he thought, “I have five boys growing up. In a few years, I will have much more happening for me. My brother has no one. What will he do later on? But he takes only fifty percent, I take fifty percent. If I try to give him more, he will not take it.” He started taking one bag of grain every night and putting it in his brother’s store. A kind of reverse osmosis of grains was happening. Both of them did not realize that for a long time.

They were growing old and still continued to do this. One day, as they were walking with a sack of grain towards the other one’s store, they bumped into each other. They looked at each other and suddenly realized what had been happening all this time. They quickly averted their eyes, walked on, took the sack of grains to its destination, went back to their houses, and slept. Time passed, and they became old and died.

The townspeople wanted to build a temple and were looking for a nice site for it. After a long search, they decided the best place to build a temple was where these two brothers met with a sack of grains on their backs, and were embarrassed about their own generosity. If you live like this, you are a living temple. Then you do not have to worry about unconditional love, conditional love, and all this.

A Pool of Gratitude

If you do not count what you give but always remember what you get, you will naturally be a pool of gratitude. Drop this nonsense of “How much I have done!” If you do not expect anything from anyone, you will live easy. If you expect something from someone, or you ask yourself whether they love you or not, then all these problems arise. When you do not expect anything from anyone, if they do it, it is wonderful for them. If they do not, what is the problem?

Drop this nonsense of “How much I have done!” If you do not expect anything from anyone, you will live easy.

A relationship is a transaction. It takes a certain skill to run it well. Otherwise, it can turn ugly. You may have seen how wonderful it can be with someone on one day, and how ugly it can be with the same person on another day.

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Unfortunately, most people do not want to acknowledge that a relationship is a transaction. There are certain ground rules and conditions for it. Only if you stay within these rules and conditions, will you run the relationship successfully. If you have la-la ideas like “our love is unconditional,” any day, it will break down.

Love is a Fragile Dimension of Life

I am not trying to belittle relationships, but there is nothing wrong in looking at the limitations of what it is. It has limitations, but that does not mean it has no beauty. A flower is so beautiful, but if I crush it, it will become manure in two days. I can destroy a flower in a moment, but does that reduce the beauty and significance of what the flower is? No. Similarly, your love is fragile. Do not believe fanciful things about it. At the same time, I am not denying the beauty that is attached to it.

But if you make such a fragile dimension of life the foundation of your life, you will naturally be anxiety-ridden all the time because you are sitting on such a fragile flower. Suppose you built your house not on the earth but on a flower because it is beautiful, you will always live in fear. If you built your foundations on the earth and looked at the flower, smelt it and touched it, that would be wonderful. But if you built your house on the flower, you are constantly in fear. I am speaking only in that context. We are not trying to deny what love is.  

Love as a Need

On one level, if you look at it – I do not want to generalize this totally, but for many people it is so – love is just one more need without which they cannot live. As the body has its needs, the emotion has its needs. When I say, “I cannot live without you,” it is not any different from me saying, “I cannot walk without a crutch.” If you had a diamond-encrusted crutch, you could very easily fall in love with it. And if after you used this crutch for ten years, I tell you, “Now you can walk free,” you would say “No, how can I leave my crutch.” There is no life sense in this. Similarly, in the name of love, you make yourself so absolutely helpless and incomplete within yourself.

.. in the name of love, you make yourself so absolutely helpless and incomplete within yourself.

Does it mean to say there is no beauty and no other dimension to this? There is. There have been many people who lived in such a way that they could not exist without the other. If it really becomes like that, that two beings have become like one, then that is wonderful.

The Story of the Queen’s Love

This happened to a king in Rajasthan, India. He had a young wife who loved him and was totally dedicated to him. But kings always had a lot of concubines. So he thought it was quite silly, the way she was deeply engrossed in him. He was amused and he liked the attention, but sometimes it was too much. Then he would shake her off a little bit, and carry on with many others, but the woman was totally dedicated to him.

The king and queen had two talking mynas, which are tropical birds that can speak better than a parrot if you train them. One day, one of these birds died, and the other one just sat there without eating food. The king did everything possible to feed the bird, but the bird just would not take in any food, and died in two days’ time.

This somehow touched the king. “What is this? It is natural for any life to value its own life first. But this bird just sat there and died.”

When he said this, the wife said, “When someone really loves someone else, it is very natural for them to go away with the other, because life would not mean anything for them later.”

The king jokingly asked, “Is that so for you? Do you love me that much?”

She said, “Yes, it is so for me.” The king was very amused by this. 

One day, the king went out hunting with his friends. This thought about the birds dying and his wife saying that it was also true for her was sort of playing in his mind. He really wanted to check it out. So he took his clothes, bloodied them and sent them back to the palace with someone who announced, “The king was mauled by a tiger and killed.” The queen received his clothes with great dignity, without a tear in her eyes. She arranged for firewood, put the clothes on top of it, and then laid herself on the firewood and died.

People just could not believe this. The queen just lay down and left. There was nothing else to do because she was dead, so they cremated her. When the news went to the king, he was broken. Just on a whim he wanted to play with her and she actually died – not committing suicide, she left just like that. 

There are any number of couples in India where if one dies, the other one will follow within a few months even if they are healthy, simply because their energies were tied together in a certain way. If you are bound like that with another human being, that two beings exist as one, that is a wonderful way to exist. It is not an ultimate possibility, but it is still a beautiful way to live. 

What is the Meaning of True Love?

Today, when people talk about love, they are talking only about the emotional part of it. Emotions will say one thing today and another thing tomorrow. When you first made the relationship, you thought, “This is forever,” but within three months you think, “Oh, why the hell am I with this person?” Because it is going by what you like and what you do not like. In this kind of relationship, you will only suffer because when a relationship is unstable – when it is off and on – you will go through enormous pain and suffering which is totally unnecessary.

If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience.

The idea of love is not to create pain, though a lot of poetry about pain has been written. The reason why you go into love is because it is supposed to bring you blissfulness. Love is not the goal; blissfulness is the goal. People are mad about falling in love with someone, though they have been wounded and bruised any number of times, because when they thought they were in love, there was a little bit of blissfulness in them. Love is just a currency for blissfulness. Right now, that is the only way most people know how to be blissful. 

But there is a way to be blissful by your own nature. If you are blissful, being loving is not a problem; you will anyway be loving. Only when you are seeking blissfulness through love, then you are very selective about whom to be loving with. But when you are blissful, whatever you see, you can be loving with that because there is no fear of entanglement. When there is no fear of entanglement, only then you will know involvement with life.

A Simple Process to Become Loving

For 15 to 20 minutes daily, go sit with something that means nothing to you – maybe a tree, or a pebble, or a worm or an insect. After some time, you will find you can look upon it with as much love as you do your wife or husband or your mother or your child. Maybe the worm does not know this. That doesn’t matter. If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience. You realize love is not something that you do; love is the way you are.

Editor’s Note:  Don’t forget to check out the DVD «Love – A Chemical Hijack», where Sadhguru and renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur explore the different dimensions of love.

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