Table of contents:
- What does family mean to you in one word?
- How do you describe a family oriented person?
- What do you call someone who puts family first?
- What do you call a person who loves their family?
- What are three words your family would use to describe you?
- How do you praise a kind-hearted person?
What does family mean to you in one word?
“Family means having someone to love you unconditionally in spite of you and your shortcomings. Family is loving and supporting one another even when it’s not easy to do so. It’s being the best person you could be so that you may inspire your love ones. … ‘ They got it and that’s the world our family is.”
How do you describe a family oriented person?
Family—oriented Synonyms — WordHippo Thesaurus….What is another word for family—oriented?
| family—centered | family-friendly |
|---|---|
| family-inclined | family-motivated |
What do you call someone who puts family first?
altruistic Add to list Share. Someone who is altruistic always puts others first. … This word comes from the Old French altruistic and means «other people» and before that the Latin alter, which means «other.» Our current word comes from the nineteenth century and comes from philosophy.
What do you call a person who loves their family?
Storge (/ˈstɔːrɡi/, from the Ancient Greek word στοργή storgē) or familial love refers to natural or instinctual affection, such as the love of a parent towards offspring and vice versa.
What are three words your family would use to describe you?
Answer. My Family use to describe me like: I find it easy to adjust to new situations, Automatic Smile making machine, Funloving, Lovable, Caring, Selfless, Flawless, Understanding, Secrecies, Always Supportive, also am very ambitious and driven.
How do you praise a kind-hearted person?
101 Compliments That Will Make People Smile
- Thank you for existing.
- You make me see the world in a way no one else ever has.
- I love the way you make me think.
- I appreciate the way you challenge me.
- Around you, I’m the best possible version of myself.
- Your energy is infectious.
- I can’t stop thinking about you.
- I love you so much it hurts.
Family is one of Be Strong Families core values, beginning with respect for and appreciation of others no matter how old, how young, where they come from, what they’ve experienced, where they are, how capable they are, how healthy they are, who they love. It extends to individual’s choices of who they call family – what intentional, meaningful relationships they form. Our value of family extends to community and to sisterhood and brotherhood. Although we are united by this value, family means something different to each of us. Hear from our Board of Directors what family means to them:
“My family is and has been supportive in helping me raise my children. They represent the foundation of who I have become in life. It was my aunt and uncle who drove me around looking at colleges as a high school student and encouraging me for higher education. My grandparents financed my college education. My family has always been there for me, in good times and not so good times. If it wasn’t for my mother, I am not sure where I would be today. Since I got divorced 12 years ago, my mother has helped me financially to stay in my home and meet the needs of my growing kids.”
— Nina Aliprandi (Board Chair), Director of Program Services, Maryville Academy
“Family for me represents the foundation of self, and a unity of acceptance, unconditional sacrifices, joy, support and love that is built on a continuum of resilience, and journey in humility from the past, current and future generations.”
— Sandy Baba, Ph.D., Education Researcher
“I feel family goes beyond bloodlines, last names or obligations. To me, the word ‘family’ includes all the people in our lives who commit to love and support us unconditionally. It is not a passive birthright but a choice, a discipline of kindness that helps us thrive both as individuals and as a society.”
— Fernando Barcelona, President / Creative Director, Barcelona and Friends
“Holding on as one
Roots rich with stories of life
Ancestrally linked”
— Denise Boston, Ph.D., Dean of Diversity & Inclusion, California Institute of Integral Studies
“Family, broadly and inclusively defined, is the foundation for individual and community health, well-being and prosperity. Let’s join together to strengthen families, nurture positive relationships, and promote resilience and hope.”
— Anne Douglass, Ph.D., Founding Executive Director, Institute for Early Education Leadership and Innovation and Associate Professor, University of Massachusetts
“For me family is so much more than just the people I am related to, my family also consists of a supportive and caring group of friends who I can laugh and cry with. Without the strength of community, I feel that I would not have as much hope to be the parent and person that I strive to be.”
— Kassia Eide (Board Secretary), SPARK Family Engagement Coordinator, Fox Valley United Way
“I look at family as those who care about you the most and want to see you grow and flourish. Helpfulness, respect, health, integrity and cooperation are my core values; my family understands my values and I understand their values. Through understanding of each other’s values, we arrive at a mutual respect and support. People with open hearts and a willingness to accept you for the human that you are. Even when things go wrong and crisis faces you, you can always depend on family. Family brings you back to your values and helps you make good decisions.”
— Kenneth Krantz, CFP® APMA®, Financial Advisor, Grezlik, Krantz, and Associates Ameriprise Financial
“To me a family is whoever I can depend on for support, to laugh with, to play with, and to share the challenges and rewards of life with.”
— Beth Lakier, Chief Operating Officer, Chicago Commons
“Family means having someone to love you unconditionally in spite of you and your shortcomings. Family is loving and supporting one another even when it’s not easy to do so. It’s being the best person you could be so that you may inspire your love ones. Family doesn’t see color, race, creed not culture it sees heart. Family isn’t always about being connected biologically, because understands that other things and influences bind us. Family is unrelenting, it’s secure and reliable. Family isn’t just important, it’s what is most important!”
— Marvin Lazenbury, MHS, Associated Director of Housing, Bucks & Montgomery County Valley Youth House
“I used to tell this to my kids when they were younger, ‘Our family is like Noah’s ark. The outside world may sometimes feel chaotic or harsh or overwhelming, like a flood. In our family, we want to create an ark for each other — where we’re safe and protected and feel a sense of belonging, loved, cared about, taken care of and protected.’ They got it and that’s the world our family is.”
— Naomi Mark, LCSW, Director of Educational Programs for the Office of Workforce Development at NYC’s Department of Social Services
“My love for my family, my desire for them to be proud of me and my decisions, is my life’s compass. I hope to advance the organization’s mission through my time and judgment. I consider serving on this board as something of a civic duty, in addition to a challenging and enjoyable experience.”
— Scott Reinglass, JD (Board Treasurer), Assistant Managing Attorney, Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc.
“Family always feels nearby. The closeness is never determined by distance or time. Frequent gatherings develop into mutual support. And occasional visits enrich lives with gratitude. Family is comfort; it is home. What is most important: I refuse to limit family to a group or place. I am passionate about strengthen all communities. I believe, the foundation is respect and commitment and creating cherished moments.”
— Antoinette Rice-White, Community Parent Leader, Foster Parent, and Child Care Provider
“Building strong families is a self-preservation strategy for any rational and sane society. An enlightened society is one which supports all of its members in reaching their full potential as human beings. I believe we can become true architects of our destinies rather than mere captives of our fate, of our past. This liberating model allows for true freedom as each segment of society takes responsibility for itself and for our extended human family. It is a strengths-based and wellness model which leads to evolutionary growth, resilience, and development towards the higher reaches of human nature. It is a vision of hope, based on the most powerful force in all of nature: love.”
— Carl Totton, Psy.D., Professor of Psychology, Phillips Graduate University
“We are family.»
— Katthe Wolf, MA (President), Founding Partner, and CEO of Be Strong Families
Family. It’s not just any other word lost in the pages of a vast dictionary. ‘Family’ is an emotion. Just the mere mention of this word can invoke the most innate feelings of love and belonging in you. Love and belonging is a true family definition. Everyone, even the most solitary soul needs someone they can call a family because family is the one humane aspect that makes a house a home. And that’s why we must know the true meaning of family.
A family doesn’t necessarily mean your parents, your siblings or your immediate blood relatives. Family can mean your best friends, your classmates, your teachers, your pet, or even that one person you always wave to at your local coffee shop.
In fact, a family can mean anyone who gives you that comforting feeling of familiarity. Family is the group of people who you know accepts you for you. You feel comfortable, safe, special, that you matter and that your voice matters. Family is that which can make you happy as soon as you see them. They are the ones who stand by you through thick and thin. They are your entire support system. Moreover, keep you going forward in life.
Family Definition – How Do You Define Your Family?
To be a part of a family is a beautiful phenomenon. It gives us a sense of belonging and love we all crave. But your family isn’t always limited to just your parents, grandparents or siblings. Your family can also be your closest friends, your teachers or your mentors -your chosen family. The true definition of family lies not in blood relations, but it is measured in the amount of love and respect people hold for each other.
The definition of a true family is just this. A group of people who have each other’s back and are willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring a smile to the others’ face. Call it a true family or a real family—the true family definition is the sense of loyalty, selflessness, love, and genuine care and concern for others.
Strengthen Your Ties
It is difficult to find people who want the best for you without any ulterior motives. However, once you do, make sure you fight for them to stay no matter what. There will be hurdles along the way, and huge fights where your relationship may seem too fragile to hold on to. But remember this, overcoming these hurdles together will only strengthen your ties. After all, at the end of the day, the true meaning and definition of family lies in how much you care for one another.
Sometimes your chosen family, vis-a-vis your friends, co-workers, mentors, or teachers may seem more helpful in rising above yourself but never forget your family too. After all, they have known you your entire life and have loved and cared for you since the very beginning, no matter what.
So go out there into the real world and find your chosen family. Those who will stand by you no matter what, and will always support you no matter what. But make sure you never forget where you came from because that is where you will always truly belong.
The Importance Of A Family
When we talk about the basic necessities required to sustain life, we focus mainly on food, clothing, and shelter. However, we forget to talk about human interaction. Believe it or not, all human beings require some sort of human association. Without it, we cannot survive. We slip into extreme depression or resort to suicide as a cure to the loneliness we feel due to the lack of this human feeling. Therefore, we require exposure to our own species. Man cannot survive in a solitary unit.
Family is your primary exposure to the same species as you. It is the most basic level of human recognition. A child begins to develop a sense of self-concept by comparing himself to his family. Therefore, a family is essential for the very building of your personality. Family teaches you your first lessons in everything, be it responsibility, forgiveness, letting go of petty fights or caring about others. One cannot stress the importance of having a family anymore. And this is the true meaning of family.
Family Bond Matters
Man is a social animal. Ever since the beginning of time, man has required an association with emotional make-up designed similarly to their own. Basically, we all have an innate need to connect with our own species. Family is one of the major factors that fulfill this necessity.
The need for love and validation is literally a human necessity. Family is that one body that will willingly fulfil those needs. A family with an unbreakable bond can be challenged but never severed. No matter how bad the times are, your true family will be within a mere arm’s reach. They’ll stand ready to help you fight your battles and guide you on the long path of life. After all, a family is what helps a person make their life worth living, and we should value the true meaning of family. For many people, the best approach to life when it comes to the importance of family is a family approach or being family-oriented. So what is family oriented meaning?
Family Oriented Meaning
A family-oriented person thinks profoundly about each family member and cares for them; besides ensuring that his family holds importance in his life, they make them feel seen and heard and accept them for who they are. In other words, family-oriented means putting your family first. In a family-oriented system, you value your family’s feelings, decisions, and, most importantly, thoughts. Always appreciate your bond with them and put them first on your priority list. Moreover, a family-oriented approach is important for personal well-being. It helps to grow professionally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. So when you make a decision, you ensure that you made your decision while considering your parents’ and families’ feelings. A family-oriented system teaches respect and cares toward family members; it provides support in difficult times. Again, it is a positive trait that enhances personal beliefs and morals.
What Does It Mean To Be “Family-Oriented” In Today’s World?
The traditional concept of family-oriented work has evolved as both men and women work and devote time to their families. The family-oriented concept was different a few decades ago than it is now. Women at the time had strong family ties and preferred not to work, stay at home, looking after all household chores; their primary objective was to take care of their family. In contrast, family-oriented men worked to support their families. However, with time, the family-oriented concept has changed; now, both men and women work to support their families, sharing the load equally. Today’s men have surpassed the socially perceived meaning of family-oriented; they work, look after their kids when needed, and treat their partners equally. Women are balancing both home and work, maintaining their work-life balance, and proving that their professional life will not affect their values towards the family.
Are You Family-Oriented? What Does It Mean To Be Family-Oriented To You?
The family-oriented concept may vary depending on a person’s values, ideas, and way of thinking. A family-oriented person places their family and close relationships first and foremost. They strongly rely on the family to make decisions, and they prioritize their family’s needs over their own. Furthermore, these people emphasize family values and morals more than anything else. In my opinion, it’s good to be family-oriented. Prioritizing your family first is nothing to be ashamed of, so always prioritize your family. For this reason, always consider ways to become more family-oriented. If your family has grown estranged from you, express your love and appreciation to them before it’s too late.
How To Build A Strong Relationship Within Your Family
Every relationship blossoms on the basis of trust. If your child begins to trust you fully and completely at an early stage, the odds are, they’ll still be that connected to you in their teenage stage.
Build Trust
Getting someone as pure as a little child to trust you is easy. What makes it hard is to maintain that trust as they grow up. That means their secrets should remain secrets, no matter how silly they may seem. That means you should be able to make time to hear them out, no matter how bad the work is. This also means being able to trust your child to tell the truth, no matter how fishy things may seem.
Trust is like a spider’s web. You invest all your time and effort trying to build it up, and one small mistake may ruin it all. Trust is fragile and complicated and when you try to build it up again, it won’t ever be the same. Something as delicate and exquisite as trust must be protected and treasured. Apart from this, there are certain things you should do as parents in order to create smooth compatibility within your family. All you need to do to set the gears going is to facilitate contact among the different members of your family.
Spend Time
Sit together and plan to spend quality time with your family; organize family get-togethers, family dinners, karaoke nights, and family game nights where you all sit and sing together or play a board game and whatnot. This will help the family get to know each other better.
You can also have daily talk sessions where you all leave everything aside and just talk to each other about any random thing for at least 15 minutes. This will help you think of the people in your family as individual people and not just members of a family. For example, kids think of their mothers only as mothers and they often fail to recognize that their mother is a separate entity, who has certain likes, dislikes, opinions, or problems. It helps family members to disengage from their own personal bubbles and step into others’ shoes.
How Does A Family Affect Teenagers?
Most teenagers stop feeling this sense of familiarity with their parents once they start growing up. They lose that confidence and trust that they once had in their parents and begin to search for a family amongst their peers. While this is healthy, “normal”, one might say, it does play a major role in a teenager’s life. Making friends that seem as close as a family is a great thing, but not when you begin to push away people who truly care about you.
All of us experienced that one stage in life, where your own family embarrassed or irritated you. Most of these experiences are direct results of parents attempting to connect with their children. While they mean well, the method they use to make this connection can often result in uncomfortable situations for teenagers.
Parents try to adhere to teenage trends thinking that by doing so, their children will be more receptive to their attention. Parents should try to dress, talk and behave in such a way that give a sense of belonging and understanding to the children. In an attempt to befriend their children, parents lose out on their primary goal: preparing their children for the tough future they have to face.
However, this usually has negative consequences, wherein children start to think of their parents as a source of embarrassment, rather than someone they look up to.
A strong connection can be maintained among parents and their children if there is an undisputed understanding within them. Parents and children can be the best of friends if they trust and understand each other, it should be the parents’ duty to rebuke as well as reform.
Also Read: For every single person in the world, a family is everything!. Celebrate your family love with these family quotes.
Throughout the month of December, Travelance celebrated the second anniversary of the Super Visa program. We invited you to share your Super Visa stories and what family means to you by visiting our website www.travelance.ca. We’d like to share some of the thoughts and stories you submitted.
This is the third blog post of a three part series.
Family – there is something special we feel when we are with them. We feel something even stronger when we are without them – when we long for them. When we hear the word family, most of us think about happy memories or remember the warm and comforting sights, sounds and smells that made our house a home. Perhaps we reminisce about the laughter and tears we’ve shared with our families over the years. For those of us who live far away from our families our hearts long for a warm embrace, a home cooked meal or simply to be in their presence.
Families provide guidance and love. They provide emotional support, care and encouragement. They take care of our well-being, add balance to our lives and ground us. ~ Lindsay, Ontario
Family is my support, my centre, my faith. ~ Madhuri, British Columbia
Family means joy. It gives you happiness whenever you hear about your family. It fills your heart with gladness whenever you hear stories from your family. And because of that, you are able to sustain the bond that you have, despite the distance that you have in between. ~ Elena, Ontario
Family means strength, because no matter what you and your family go through, you know that you will be able to surpass all, as long as you work together in one single goal. The success of one’s family is not about money or wealth. It is about the tight bond and relationship that you have with one another, making you all strong enough to face all challenges in life. ~Antonio, Alberta
Your Stories
For many of us the holidays are synonymous with family. While a growing number of families keep in touch online through chat services such as Skype using a webcam, human contact and physical presence cannot be replicated.
Diwata shares her story.
I want to share my personal story about my family. This Christmas, while I am excitedly wrapping gifts, I can’t help but think of my family back home, who are many miles away.
I was raised in Asia, but when I got married, my husband and I decided to migrate to Canada. It has been 15 years already, but I can still say that sometimes, I miss spending Christmas back home, with my parents and siblings. Because now, I only get to see them on my laptop’s webcam, and you can bet that tears fill my eyes whenever I see them. But those tears are not just sadness…it is longing for their embrace and the warm atmosphere back home. How I wish I could bring them to Canada so that we could be together again and celebrate Christmas Eve while drinking a nice glass of wine, and feasting on the delicious meals that I have prepared.
Family for me means everything. If I can bring them all in one place, that will really make me happy and complete. It is my wish this coming Christmas. I really hope that I can make this wish come true, so that we can all be together again, happily celebrating Christmas Eve, just like what I have been dreaming.
Raj shares a similar story.
I have to say the hardest thing for me was to make the decision to leave my family behind and move to Canada. I knew this move would help me to provide a better life for my loved ones. After careful consideration, I sought their advice and approval. With their support I decided to take my chances.
During the holidays, it’s the hardest. We are a big family, and every Diwali and New Year we would all gather together, eat, give each other presents and talk about our future. Seeing my mother, my father, my grandparents, and my brothers and sisters all together, laughing, having a good time – that’s what I miss the most. Of course, during the holidays we use Skype even more, but it’s not the same. I watch my child, nieces and nephews grow up from far. And I can’t wait to see all my dear ones and have them near me again.
But the good news is that I will be doing this soon, and I can’t wait for this coming year as my mother, father, wife and child will come visit me for the first time since I arrived in Canada four years ago!
About the Canadian Super Visa
As the years pass, we tend to remember the time we spent with loved ones while other experiences in our lives fade to the background. Programs like The Canadian Super Visa have made visiting with parents and grandparents in Canada easier than ever. Set to become a permanent program, the Super Visa offers a flexible option for parents and grandparents to visit their children and grandchildren in Canada. The Super Visa take an average of 8 weeks to process, it is valid for 10 years and visa holders can stay in Canada for up to 2 years at a time with each new re-entry.
For more information on the Canadian Super Visa program please visit: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/visit/supervisa.asp Travelance specializes in emergency medical travel insurance for Visitors to Canada! To find out more about Travelance and our ‘Super Visa’ plans, visit our website: www.travelance.ca.
The word ‘family’ has many different meanings to many different people.
I hold a very high value on the meaning of family. To me family means laughter, trust, a sense of belonging, closeness, support group, but most of all: unconditional love.
I define the family as: Family-n. a group of people, related or unrelated, who share an emotional connection that is supportive and unconditional in love.
Family Relations-How do you define ‘family’?
Your response is due by Thursday (1/10) at 8:30am.
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Health Magazine
What does the word “family” mean for you? Whom does it include? Do you see your pet as a part of your family?
Family, that’s definitely a strong word. It is something very important in my life for many reasons. For me, it means to feel secure, to have someone who you can count on, who shares your problems, but it also means to have respect for each other and responsibility.They are people you know will never fail you on purpose, and if they do we stay by their side just like they do for us. They are not always people either. Our pets are a part of our family as well. They are there for us when we need them too. Family means a lot more than a relative by blood or marriage. It means the people who accept you no matter who you are, where there’s no hatred or judgment. The love of a family should be unconditional, and everyone should try their best to provide all they can for the people in their family, emotionally and financially. They are the people that everyone deserves to feel secure, and comfortable with, and I wish everyone was lucky enough to have that.
Everything people learn starts from the way their family brought them up, therefore give the foundation of who you are. It does not matter if they are your blood relatives like I said before. If they have been there for you all their life, and will be there for you unconditionally for the rest of your life, then they are your family!
COMMUNITY HEALTH
Topic: What does «Family» mean to you…
English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience
12.05.2016 by DXS
Are any of you close to your family? I’m not. My siblings and I don’t speak to each other unless we have to. In fact, my mom is all about «Family is everything» stuff. I don’t relate to her feelings on this (although as a child I had to «pretend to» which resulted in faking my entire childhood…..). «Family» to me is just….. «the people I grew up with» and nothing more. Don’t hate them, don’t love them, but I just don’t get the «family is everything» stuff. Whether or not I spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with them is not an issue, don’t care if I do or don’t. (Ok, I lean toward…. «trying to make an excuse not to….»)
I don’t know if it’s me and the alexithymia thing or maybe the family dynamics («give the appearance that we are close knit» when we are not, what a joke….)
Just wondering how the rest of you related to your family.
13.05.2016 by GelatinousPope
I’m not close with my family. I have one sibling, an older sister, we get along just fine and usually have a great time when we see each other, but we don’t really have any contact in between. I don’t honestly care to «catch up» on all the details of her life frequently, I just see her when I see her.
My mom and I don’t have a great relationship. I like to hang out with my dad often. We have several interests in common and spend time doing activities we both enjoy.
I used to not really like holidays and family gatherings. Now I’m ok with them as long as I can leave whenever I want for a break.
«Family» to me just means biological relatives. I can’t say I feel different about them than I do any friend I’ve known for a long time.
14.05.2016 by CV
«Family,» like «home,» is not a word I actually use. I reference my initerant locations by their names, and «family» are referenced as «relations.»
Just because we are related. I have frequent contact with these relations, but I accepted long ago that the reasons behind my continued diligence was not due to any meaning in the relationships, but because there would be emotional drama directed at me if I stopped, and I am unable to deal with the emotional drama of others when it involves me. I am also aware that these people have feelings, and feelings for me in fact, and that anything but continued friendliness on my part would cause them harm, and I don’t believe in causing harm on an ethical level.
We are on terms I consider to be as good as they can decently be. We stick to strictly benal, superficial subjects and anyone’s real feelings about anything never enter dialogue. I see them often, but really, 99% of my life is off limits. This, to me, is keeping the peace and maintaining a status quo and that is sufficient.
That actually looks horrible on paper, but honestly, I believe this is how many families really operate, and people just hide behind the «family is everything» facade to avoid facing up to the real distance that is there. An alexithymic is able to acknowledge that distance sincerely.
17.05.2016 by kat3lb
To me the family is equally significant as other biologically unrelated persons. Naturally, because we have shared one shelter for about 17 years, I tend to know them a bit better than other people. But this does not make the relationship special in any way, it is just a bit more predictable.
I had a period of time when I tend to speak a lot to my mother about my confusing feelings and difficulty to make decisions. I thought she must understand and give me some practical advice. But she never did and we ended up quarreling. So I gave up and she knows very little about my private life.
The problem is the pressure arising from their expectation that I feel something else to them than I actually do. They expect that I should give them priority for my holidays, that I should be happy spending time with them. I am not particularly unhappy, but sometimes just prefer to do other things. And then I am usually perceived as that pubescent rebel, who does not want to stay with her family, just because it is family. (No, its really not my case and btw I am 33).
They also expect that I would be always interested in how they are. I am not (the «how are you» question is discussed elsewhere), but I learned to fake it.
Now, as I learned faking, I also learned to lie easily. Lie instead of telling the truth that they do not understand and do not want to hear. Lie about having a boyfriend (I never had), or liking my cousins (I never felt anything in particular towards them), lie about my work and place I live (they think that the country where I stay is not safe, so yes, I pretend to be in another country).
The scary thing is that I dont feel so much guilty about all these lies. I just take it as a way to deal with their expectations. I tried to be as honest as I am here with them as well, but it ended as a catastrophy. It seems so difficult and painful for them to understand, that I think its better if they die in their ignorance.
Yes, all I have written looks really terrible. But thats how it is.
18.05.2016 by DXS
When people ask me if I’m going «home» for Christmas, I tell them «nope, going to visit parents.» Then I get this puzzled look. Then I explain to them that «home» is where…. *I* live……I no longer live in my parents home.
My family is just «people I was raised in a house with and spent time» as one person said…. I have no special feelings. Holidays are more of a «have to» than a «want to.» HATE IT!
16.06.2016 by gihi
I am little puzzled here.
For me family is close as I still live with my parents due to economical benefits and stuff. And I think they mean a lot to me in many ways.
There is a frequent tradition to say that «I love you» in our family. I have trouble with this because I can’t say that I feel love. I don’t even feel emotional connection to my parents really. My brother sometimes elicits some feelings of caring in me which really doesn’t occur with anyone else. But we are very distant and we never keep in contact really. I think he might also have so alexithymic traits.
It is the problem that I think I ones felt really affectionate toward my family and friends when I was still very young. But it has all changed. I don’t feel affectionate towards anyone. Does anyone share this feeling of loosing your emotions? Or do you think you never even had them?
19.06.2016 by DXS
I feel nothing toward my family, too! Love? What is that?
04.08.2016 by jdr
I feel nothing toward my family, too! Love? What is that?
I guess even for NT’s it’s different things to different people. To me, it’s sort of a mental construct to give our lives meaning and involves choosing to care about some people more than others. For example, caring more about the soldier who is willing to sacrifice for a cause that you share than a selfish, greedy person who cheats others just to advance themselves. Misfortune happens to everyone, it’s just how we respond to someone else’s misfortune depends on how we’ve prioritized them (or how much we love them, if you will).
Evolutionary biologists have recently been spending time studying why humans are altruistic, and I think determined that caring for those closest to us (family, tribe) provided an evolutionary advantage (more likely to reproduce).
But even though it goes against cultural norms, we can choose not to prioritize our family if we feel they are not deserving. But when we choose to care about someone who also cares about us, the feelings can be self-reinforcing. «I am important to you, which validates me, so you are important to me».
07.08.2016 by DXS
That actually looks horrible on paper, but honestly, I believe this is how many families really operate, and people just hide behind the «family is everything» facade to avoid facing up to the real distance that is there. An alexithymic is able to acknowledge that distance sincerely.
I totally get this. That is how my family is. Everything superficial, disagreements are NOT ALLOWED.
02.10.2016 by treshcen
family to me is biological relations.
03.10.2016 by thoughts
Three types of famillies (there may be, and often is, an overlap between the types):
1. family through blood-ties (mother, father, children, sibling, cousin, etc);
2. family through contract (husband/wife, inlaws, etc)
3. family through shared value-system
Some family is life-long while others may/may not be temporary:
-Blood ties should not be severed.
-Contract ties can be severed, however, through a due process.
-Family through shared value-system get severed when value-system is no longer shared.
Each family member of mine has certain rights on me depending on the type of family and nature of relation.
The easiest to maintain is the family through shared value-system and most difficult through blood-ties.
Ex. I may have complete opposite view/judgement than my mother on anything and everything; I may not even enjoy her company, however, it is her right that I take care of her in old age and be in best of manners… even through our clashing views and disagreements. (Example is hypothetical. My mother is most affectionate towards me)
03.10.2016 by Abc
Husband/wife and inlaws are definitely not family through contract, because people do not sign a contract with their brother — in — law and they do not sign a contract with their boyfriend/girlfriend being in an open relationship and living together.
Who is liable for saying that a value is no longer shared? In case the answer is the facts and deviation from legality, who is liable for saying that they get severed? So the correct statement is «they may get severed». You oversimplify things since you ignore critical factors.
Being black and white is supposed to adhere to real incidents or to respectful moral rules. Which is the family of yours that you consider easy to maintain through common values and what are the real incidents or the respectable moral rules making you have a black and white point of view on the family issue?
03.10.2016 by Abc
Husband/wife and inlaws are definitely not family through contract, because people do not alwayssign a contract with their brother — in — law and they do not sign a contract with their boyfriend/girlfriend being in an open relationship and living together.
Who is liable for saying that a value is no longer shared? In case the answer is the facts and deviation from legality, who is liable for saying that they get severed? So the correct statement is «they may get severed». You oversimplify things since you ignore critical factors.
Being black and white is supposed to adhere to real incidents or to respectable moral rules. Which is the family of yours that you consider easy to maintain through common values and what are the real incidents or the respectable moral rules making you have a black and white point of view on the family issue?
10.10.2016 by Hokkai
personally I feel no emotion towards my genetic family due to dealing with childhood abuse and everyone simply turning a blind eye to it which quickly made me realize that to me family does not mean who you are related to do but those you are willing to die for.
11.10.2016 by DXS
-Blood ties should not be severed.
DISAGREE! If your blood family cannot respect your boundaries and feels that they are entitled to trample all over you and you are just «too sensitive» if you raise a fuss, then I think those should get severed if the person feels like it.
That’s how my family is. I’m not «supposed» to have boundaries, I’m not «supposed» to say no. WRONG.
13.11.2016 by stephieweffie
But they pretend to love me. I am severely alexi, but needed my parents’ love and never wanted to lose them. However, after realizing that they are both mentally abusing narcissists, I had to change my mind about wanting to love them. I spent a lifetime in silence even in serious and/or traumatic situations involving others. I’ve always been odd like that, but after not being able to connect with people socially (no conversation skills, eye contact, TOM), I realized I was different. My parents never wanted to notice because they didn’t want me talking to counselors about them. I now know they were going to accuse me of lying about anything I said about them.
Also, I get sanctioned by women a lot. They are «triggered» by me not expressing emotion when I talk about my life which is traumatic.
15.11.2016 by Dave
stephieweffie, you speak about your parents in the past, like you left home; good. If your parents are really narcissists, you don’t need that. Did you finally see a counselor after leaving your parents (it sounds like you did)? I was wondering what the counselor told you that made you realize your parents were narcissists, or (if no counselor was involved) what allowed you to see their true nature.
15.11.2016 by Dave
stephieweffie, you speak about your parents in the past, like you left home; good. If your parents are really narcissists, you don’t need that. Did you finally see a counselor after leaving your parents (it sounds like you did)? I was wondering what the counselor told you that made you realize your parents were narcissists, or (if no counselor was involved) what allowed you to see their true nature.
15.11.2016 by Dave
stephieweffie, you speak about your parents in the past, like you left home; good. If your parents are really narcissists, you don’t need that. Did you finally see a counselor after leaving your parents (it sounds like you did)? I was wondering what the counselor told you that made you realize your parents were narcissists, or (if no counselor was involved) what allowed you to see their true nature.
22.12.2016 by Corvos
I’ve always thought of family like electron shells or maybe the layers of an onion or tree: imideate, principled attachment, «friends»(cousins that aren’t annoying), and other.
While I’ve never felt anything like love, my parents have raised me to the best of their ability. I can tell the my dad and I will never see eye to eye regarding my personality so we keep our distance. My mom is tolerable if extremely annoying at times seeing as she assumes she knows the answer to all my problems, a trait I’m told is maternal.
The more I write the colder I seem hmm food for thought.
I’m a very principled person as I see no inherent value in morals, religious or otherwise, as such filial piety has always been big with me so I always treat them (outwardly) with the respect I feel they deserve. This is doubly so for my grandparents whom I respect. So I attend holiday gatherings if only to see them occasionally.so I put on the mask along with the rest of my clothes and wade into that horrid sea called society but the more of it I see the less I connect. As an example this year I saw two new baby cousins and didn’t bother to ask for much less remember their names and faces after, I was told my dog we had given to my aunt had died of cancer and again nothing. I pretended to be sad sure but as I heard my cousin had been an emotional wreak after I had an odd moment where I truly felt alien I couldn’t understand why they were so distraught. After these events I’m compleatly drained and have to hide away for awhile.
Guess I rambled abit there. Sorry this is my first post so the experience is akward to say the least.
Not much else I can say as nothing comes to mind. Now I think of it a forum for discussing the ineffable is quite amusing, if anything I’m glad I found this site as it’s relieved my boredom for now and given me some answers to this peculiar personality trait.
22.12.2016 by DXS
Also, I get sanctioned by women a lot. They are «triggered» by me not expressing emotion when I talk about my life which is traumatic.
I relate more to men than women. Cuz I’m «logical.» I HATE shopping, I don’t see why women gotta buy lots of shoes, I don’t get this. I only buy clothes I need. I don’t need to «shop.»
Yeah, I get the «sanctioning» by women. I don’t have the emotional stuff either.
In fact, I once dated a guy who was very emotional but he hated that he was….. and he hated that I wasn’t……. Explosive relationship.
07.05.2017 by Arthur
In today’s world most people seem to shop based on an emotional response to advertisements. People seem to have an emotional desire to keep up with the Jones’, and express themselves with products, or fashion. I don’t get this and that is one advantage of alexithymia. It is hard to take advantage of us by pulling on our heart-strings.
25.11.2017 by Terry-Townley
I really only care for my little sister and my brother, my mum, dad and my Nan who sleeps over regularly to spend time with my little sister.
I’m told about some relatives and the awkward thing is am I supposed to even care, oh look someone I’m related too while I muster up a smile and sign of interest over a complete stranger who happens to share at least some DNA.
I’m not trying to imply that I’m a rude person, it’s just that i’v Lived with some relatives who I don’t want anything to do with. I’d just treat you like any stranger with common decency being related doesn’t mean anything.
I’m gonna keep it short, I just get a little rant and end up unrelated to the topic at hand. So to sum it up if you’re not a pleasant person in general to be around DNA doesn’t matter to me.
25.11.2017 by Terry-Townley
I really only care for my little sister and my brother, my mum, dad and my Nan who sleeps over regularly to spend time with my little sister.
I’m told about some relatives and the awkward thing is am I supposed to even care, oh look someone I’m related too while I muster up a smile and sign of interest over a complete stranger who happens to share at least some DNA.
I’m not trying to imply that I’m a rude person, it’s just that i’v Lived with some relatives who I don’t want anything to do with. I’d just treat you like any stranger with common decency being related doesn’t mean anything.
I’m gonna keep it short, I just get a little rant and end up unrelated to the topic at hand. So to sum it up if you’re not a pleasant person in general to be around DNA doesn’t matter to me.
17.04.2018 by DraScuS
They never understood my symptoms, and I never understand what they are thinking and feeling.
17.04.2018 by DraScuS
They never understood my symptoms, and I never understand what they are thinking and feeling.
23.04.2018 by Docster
Someone who understands that I’m doing my best to show I love them, even though I cannot seem to express it in a manner that they expect. Understandably, my «Love Language» is acts of service, and I believe I’m a good provider, and even though no one ever turns down the $$ that I bring home, I receive mostly negative attitude because of my inability to articulate feelings, emotions, etc.
24.04.2018 by Ezra
So recently me (23), my mother, and possibly my younger sister (16) have all basically found out we have Alexithymia and it has really helped our relationship to each other if I’m being honest, we’ve stopped trying to fit in the usual family dynamics that’s been forced down our throats. We all see each as Just people that we happen to share a relation too and share time together, and i see them as more like your typical friends than mother and sister.
The best thing is that we have developed a healthy respect for each other spaces, and we don’t really expect anything communication wise outside a shared meme every now and then
05.05.2018 by alemao
Hello everybody! All this subject is new for me, but I think all this stuff make sense. I cant have emotional feelings to my family specially my mom and dad. I realy fell bad with that and since now I dint understand why.
15.05.2018 by bpaull
I understand the disconnect between what other family members seem to have and what you feel towards them. Not understanding what exactly they feel has always made me curious. But knowing the value in family life I have spent much of my life in making sure I fulfill any duty or responsibility to my family as I can. Rides to the airport helping set up for familial events and so on. I know I am likely not as close to them as they are to one another but I think my responsiveness to them helps keep the relationship bonds secure.
31.05.2018 by laismrt
How i feeling about my family?
I feel nothing
15.09.2018 by Jute
Family are just people who happen to be related to me, that’s it. I have very little to do with them, the same as with anyone else.
30.09.2018 by Hsingai
I view family not as relatives but as Ohana, that is people you can mooch off of and can mooch off of you. I have good relationships with my brother and mother and stepfather, and had one with my dad when he was still alive. I wish I was better at the interpersonal thing with the rest of my relatives.
01.10.2018 by Jute
I adhere to the old adage «Never a borrower or a lender be.» I don’t borrow things from relatives (or anyone else) and I prefer not to lend things to people either. If I need something I buy it, they should too.
01.10.2018 by Hsingai
I adhere to the old adage «Never a borrower or a lender be.»
mooch
verb INFORMAL
1.NORTH AMERICAN ask for or obtain (something) without paying for it.
«a bunch of your friends will show up, mooching food»
01.10.2018 by Jute
noun
noun: mooch; plural noun: mooches
1.
British
an instance of loitering in a bored or listless manner.
2.
North American
a beggar or scrounger.
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