We like the word yes

The English word ‘yes’ is thought to come from the Old English word ‘gēse’, meaning ‘may it be so’, and can be traced back to earlier than the 12th century. In the centuries since, lots of alternatives to the word ‘yes’ have sprung up in the English language, and there are no many meanings for the word ‘yes’ too.

Today we’re going to look at some of the most common alternatives that you can use to express yourself more clearly, and liven up your English language conversations. From formal settings like the workplace, to laid back conversations with your friends, you’ll find that ‘yes’ is a very flexible word that fits into all manner of situations, and its alternatives do too.

Yes can be an answer in response to a question, such as “Have you seen where I put my briefcase?” or “Do you understand?”

The use of ‘yes’ here tends to be very straightforward, with little need for emotion, so some simple alternatives might be:

Certainly
I do or I have

Or you could use the more informal:

Sure
Yep
Yeah

Yep and yeah are very common alternatives to yes, but are only used informally, among people you know well, and they might be frowned upon in formal settings, such as the workplace when you’re speaking to your boss.

Yes can be an answer in response to a request, be it an informal one, such as “Could you pass the butter please?”

Of course
Sure I can!
Yeah
No problem!

Or a more formal one, such as “Please make sure the paperwork is finished for 5 o’clock.”

I will
Definitely
Absolutely
By all means

Yes can be an answer in response to an offer, such as “I’ve got spare tickets to the big game this weekend if you’d like one?” or “I could help you with your homework tonight if you like?”

OK
I’d love that!
You bet!
Alrighty!
Fo sho! – a more informal youth slang meaning for sure, or certainly

Yes can be a word that you use to express your agreement with a positive statement, such as “That was a great evening” or “Wasn’t that a fantastic lunch?”

Yes, it was!
Sure was!
Wasn’t it just!

The above alternatives are all very positive. But here, different levels of enthusiasm can be expressed depending on the alternative ‘yes’ word that you use. Here are some to try depending on how much you agree or disagree with the statement in question:

Totally! – this is a laid back, colloquial alternative to ‘yes’ that originally comes from the teen surfer and skate culture in America. Its use has spread worldwide through movies and music, and is still widely used today, most commonly among younger native English speakers.

Yeah, right… – this one can be used sarcastically, with reference to the above examples, when you actually thought the evening was boring or the lunch was lousy.

Yes can also be asked at the end of a statement to indicate the expectation of agreement. For example: “You got the report handed in on time, yes?”

Correct?

Right? – this is by far the most common alternative to yes that you’ll hear in this context, and you’ll often hear it tacked on to the end of sentences like this.

Yes can be used as a response to someone addressing you or trying to attract your attention. For example: “Oh, Ms. Smith.” “Yes?”

Try the informal:

Uh-huh?
Yep?

Or the more formal:

Yes, what is it?
Yes, what can I do for you?
You called?

Yes can be used to encourage someone to continue speaking. For example in a conversation like this:

Mike: “When you bought those photographs…”

Dave: “Yes?”

Mike: “Did you get them from the shop on the high street?”

Here, Dave is reassuring Mike that he has heard what he is saying, and is encouraging Mike to continue his question. You’ll often hear people saying yes in this context a lot while they are on the phone, or in any kind of conversation. In this context, some alternatives to yes might include:

I hear you – which is more formal, and tends to be used in the workplace as business jargon.

As well as the more informal:

Uh-huh?
Mmm hmm?
Yep?

If you hear someone repeating Uh-huh….uh-huh…. a lot while they’re listening to someone in a conversation this is a sign of a bored and half-hearted yes!

I see – this one would be used when someone is giving you some information rather than asking you a question. For example:

Mike: “There’s a problem with the report…”

Dave: “I see…”

Mike: “…it contains some errors in the last paragraph.”

Yes can also be an exclamation, expressing great pleasure or excitement. For example: “You got tickets for the gig? YES!”

In this case there are lots of alternatives you can use, as there are so many English exclamations to express pleasure. You could try:

Ace!
Brilliant!
Cool!
Hell, yes!

What is your favourite way to say yes? Do you have any other alternatives our online readers might find useful for their language learning? Let us know in the comments below!

English, like most other languages, is full of slang, expressions, and informal vocabulary. Perhaps the most common situation in which we see such words or phrases used is in expressing an affirmative or negative response. An affirmative or negative response is just a grammatically technical way to describe a yes or no answer. Just to review, we use yes to affirm a previous idea or express a positive reaction. This would be an affirmative case. We use no to negate a previous idea or express a negative reaction. This would be a negative case.

Let’s start with some yes situations: touching on context, meaning, and tone. There are a lot of words in English that are basically variations of the word yes itself. For example, you might hear “yeah”, “yep”, “yup”, “yah” or “yas”. Really anything that sounds a lot like yes, said in a positive manner is likely just a different way of saying yes in English. Some other common phrases that are simple are “for sure”, “sounds good”, or “sounds like a plan”. These are self-explanatory in that you are expressing positive approval. Now we’ll look at some of the more unusual examples.

 

Phrases which mean «Yes»

All of the following words or phrases can be used to say yes: “you got it”, “bet”, “you know it”, “good deal”, and “without a doubt”. “You got it” and “you know it” are basically affirming that the other person has the correct idea. The above phrases are more casual phrases used to imply something like — “yes, you have gotten it correct” or “yes, you know it to be true”. “Bet” is a shorter version of the command “you bet”. Bet means to wager or gamble, so basically what you’re saying is because this is true or I can confirm this idea (with a yes) then you could bet on it and win money. In “good deal”, deal refers to the proposal – let’s say “should we get dinner this evening?” – so saying that it is a good deal expresses a positive reaction. Finally, “without a doubt” means that there is no possibility that the contrary might be true. These are some of the most common yes phrases that you likely will not find in your textbook.

Phrases which mean «No»

Now we can move on to no situations looking at context, meaning, and tone. Once again, many of the words are just variations of the original word no itself. For example, take the following list: “nah”, “nope”, or “nay”. Much like yes phrases, any short word that starts with n and is said in a negative tone is likely a synonym for no. Some other common phrases include: “no can do”, “that will not work”, “not a chance”, or “no way”. All these in one way or another refer to the proposal or idea and indicate a negative response.

Here are a few more words or phrases used to say no: “doubtful”, “no shot”, “dog won’t hunt”, or “when pigs fly”. Doubtful means full of doubt (so unlikely to be true or a good idea) and no shot means there is not a chance that the given question is true or that the proposed option is a good idea. “Dog won’t hunt” is a lot like the previously mentioned “no can do”, in this case we are saying that something is simply not possible. “When pigs fly” implies that the answer will be yes when pigs fly which is impossible, so thus the answer will never be yes. The phrases discussed here are fairly common but likely have not yet found their way into many English learning textbooks.

Expressing uncertainty

While we are touching on ways to affirm or negate in conversation it’s a good idea to touch on ways to express uncertainty as well. The most common word for this in English is “maybe” which is derived from “it may be so”. Like yes and no there exists a near infinity of ways to express the uncertainty that comes with a maybe. Beginning once again with the more commonly used expressions we have: “perhaps”, “possibly”, “not sure”, or “there is a chance that”. Each of these examples expresses some level of uncertainty about the situation. Some more informal options include: “who knows”, “no clue”, “idk (I don’t know)”, “God knows”, or “it’s whatever”. Here the first three once again express uncertainty based on a lack of knowledge by the parties involved. The final expression “it’s whatever” applies more to issues of preference. For example — “should we go to the movies tonight?” answered by “it’s whatever” means that you do not care all that much whether or not you attend the movies.

Just as much as the words themselves, tone can be a key indicator of meaning. Usually the way a person speaks well clue you in as to whether or not their response is positive or negative. These are just some of the many ways to say maybe, yes, and no in English. It is important to understand and learn to use phrases like the ones covered here that you probably will not learn from a textbook. Best of luck!

Hero image by Megan Hodges on Unsplash

You’re about to learn 33 different ways to say “yes” in English. Also check out How to Answer “How Are You?” + 9 Interesting Ways to Ask It.

“Yes” is a lovely word, but there are so many different ways to say “yes.”

So why limit yourself?

Why say “yes” all the time when you can say something like “gladly,” “for sure” or even “be my guest”?

We’re going to look at six situations where you might need to say “yes”:

1. Say “yes” to a request
2. Agree with an opinion
3. Say “yes” to an offer
4. Confirm a fact
5. Give permission
6. Say “yes” to a suggestion

Say “Yes” to a Request

One of the most common situations where we use the word “yes” is when someone wants us to do something for them.

Maybe it’s at work:

Or at home:

Or it might be a request from a friend:

Whatever it is, there are loads of different ways you can say “yes” to requests.

No problem

This is the classic!

This is a very common way of saying “yes” to a request. It does a good job of making everything feel under control.

Sure

This one is pretty informal.

Sure thing

This is like “sure,” but a little less formal. It also feels a bit more enthusiastic and gives off a “can-do” positive energy. As a result, it’s pretty popular with Americans.

No worries

This is actually an Australian English expression.

We all know that Australians are well known for having a rather relaxed attitude towards life.

And this expression totally captures that unstressed, chilled-out feeling.

Consider it done

This expression says, “I’m a reliable person! You can count on me!”

When you say this, you come across as an efficient person with your life under control.

I’m on it

This one is quite similar to “consider it done.”

When you use it, you’re saying, “I’m totally capable of this. You don’t need to worry.”

I’d be delighted

OK. This one is quite strong in terms of emotional expression.

It should be a response to a big request — usually one with emotional connections.

So it could work if someone asks you to be the godmother for their child, for example.

But it would sound a bit weird if you’re being asked to take out the rubbish.

I’d love to

This is just like “I’d be delighted.”

So remember to use it for situations that are likely to delight you, like looking after your bosses seaside mansion for a week.

Not cleaning his car.

Unless you like cleaning cars, I guess.

All right

“All right” is a nice, neutral expression.

But be careful because it can sound a bit too uninterested.

So if someone’s asking you to do something big, like look after their pet python for two months while they go on a scuba diving holiday in southern Uruguay, then it might seem like you don’t really care too much.

But it’s fine if they’re asking you to open the window for them.

Fine

Again, this one is very neutral, but it can show a lack of enthusiasm in some situations.

So, like with “all right,” only use it for boring, everyday tasks, otherwise you might seem insincere.

Gladly

This is a little old fashioned and light-hearted.

It’s got a nice, calm and positive feeling to it, though.

By all means

When you use this expression, you’re saying, “I’m really happy to help you, and I’m glad that you asked. I like helping you.”

Of course

Another classic way of saying “yes.”

But you know this one already, right?

Certainly / Definitely

“Certainly” and “definitely” both mean more or less the same thing.

And when you’re using these in answer to a request, they have a similar meaning to “sure” or “sure thing.”

Just a little less informal.

Absolutely

Very similar to “certainly” or “definitely,” but this one is a little more enthusiastic. It shows that you really want to help.

Yep

Informal, familiar and casual.

It can be a nice one to use when you’re with friends and family. It shows familiarity and that you’re comfortable with the other people.

In less casual situations, I’d recommend avoiding it. Just in case.

Yeah

This is basically the same as “yep.”

OK

Another classic!

Interestingly no one really knows where this word came from, though some theories are quite popular.

One theory is that it came from the USA in the 1830s, when it was fashionable to make jokey, misspelt phrases.

One of these was “Orl Korrect” (meaning “all correct”).

For some reason, people thought this sort of thing was hilarious.

Either way, if the theory is true, this phrase is still with us with “OK.”

Agree with an Opinion

Sometimes we don’t say “yes” in order to give information to someone.

Sometimes we just want to say, “I agree with you — let’s share this moment.”

It’s less an exchange of information and more of a bonding experience — a process that brings people closer together.

Maybe you want to talk about a person:

Or maybe you want to complain about how terrible the world is:

So true

It means what it says!

When you really, really agree with what someone says (or you want to pretend that you do), then use this!

Indeed

This one also shows strong agreement with someone.

It is — It really is / He does — He really does

This one completely depends on what you’re agreeing on.

So if someone says something like, “He goes a bit weird after too much coffee,” then you can agree with, “He does … he really does!”

Why? Because “He goes …” is in the present simple, so you need to use the correct auxiliary verb in your answer (“does”).

What’s an auxiliary verb?Click for details.

If someone says something like, “We’ll never get there on time!” you can agree with “We won’t! We really won’t!”

See how it works?

Uh huh

This is a good little phrase that you can use to show agreement without interrupting the other person.

Technically speaking, these little phrases are called “back channels,” and we use them all the time. Other examples of back channels are “mmm” and “mm-hmm” and “ahhh.”

Next time you’re listening to people speaking English, try listening to the sorts of back channels they use — it’s fun. Everyone uses slightly different ones.

Totally

This one is strong, but when the person you’re agreeing with says something that you really, really agree with, then it’s time to bring out the big guns and use this one.

Absolutely

“Absolutely” is more or less the same as “totally.”

Yep

This one is particularly informal and not very strong.

So use to agree with those little, everyday observations like, “Oh! It’s raining!” or “Titanic was a bit rubbish, wasn’t it?”

Yeah

“Yeah” is just like “yep,” but feels slightly more friendly.

It’s often said that vowels carry the emotion of a phrase or a sentence, while consonants carry the meaning.

So while “yep” has a short vowel sound and feels quite distant, “yeah” has a long vowel sound and can feel more friendly and human.

My thoughts exactly

It’s a nice phrase, isn’t it?

It basically means “I completely agree with you. You’re right! I think exactly the same way as you!”

Which is nice.

Say “Yes” to an Offer

We also sometimes want to say “yes” in order to accept an offer.

It might be someone offering you some lovely food:

It could be someone offering you something fun:

Or it could be something ridiculously generous:

For sure!

It’s positive! It’s enthusiastic! It’s friendly!

What’s not to like?

Absolutely

This is also rather friendly and enthusiastic.

Yep

As we discussed earlier, “yep” is fine, but it can be a little distant and unfriendly. But if you’re comfortable with the person you’re talking to, then it’s OK.

Yeah

As I mentioned earlier, “yeah” is similar to “yep,” but is more friendly.

And because of that long vowel sound, you can use it to express more emotions.

OK

Simple and to the point.

I’d love to / I’d love some / I’d love one

This is very enthusiastic and shows that you really appreciate whatever it is that you’ve been offered.

But remember: there are different ways to use it.

If someone is offering something that you can do, like “Do you wanna come to mine next weekend? We can play giraffe tennis,” then you probably want to say, “I’d love to!”

But if they’re offering you something physical (usually something you can have), then you’d say “I’d love some!” (for uncountable things, like carrot cake) or “I’d love one!” (for countable things, like a cup of green tea).

If it’s something very specific, like the only sketch of a dog by Picasso in the world, then you’d need to say “I’d love it!”

Why not?

I like the way this one feels.

It’s like you’re saying, “That’s a good idea! I hadn’t thought of it! Let’s do it!”

Confirm a Fact

We also need to say “yes” to let people know that they’ve got something right.

Maybe it’s an interesting fact about yourself:

Or they want to make sure they’ve done something properly:

Or they’re not entirely sure about when you’re planning that massive party on the beach:

That’s right

Simple and to the point!

Correct

Simple, to the point and requires very little effort. It can sound a bit short in some situations.

Yep

We talked about this above. While it’s quite informal, this is not the friendliest phrase. But it’s efficient.

Yeah

Again, this one is like “yep,” but because of the long vowel sound, you can inject more feeling into it.

Try it! There are probably several ways you can say “yeah,” and it could have a slightly different meaning each time depending on how you pronounce the vowel sound (longer, shorter, higher pitched, lower pitched, going up in pitch, going down in pitch, etc.).

Give Permission

And what about when someone asks you for something?

You need to say “yes” then (unless you don’t want to give them what they’re asking for).

A classic example is the seat-on-a-train situation:

Or they might want something you have:

Or it could be a “big ask”:

By all means

This one is particularly polite, but I guess in these situations, being polite is a good idea.

We use language to get past those awkward little situations that come from wanting something from someone else.

Go ahead

This one is quite casual — it’s the sort of phrase I’d use if someone wanted to take the seat next to me on the train.

It only works with requests like “Is it OK if I …” — when someone is asking permission to do something, not when they’re asking for something from you.

Be my guest

Nice, isn’t it?

When someone says this to me, I feel completely at ease.

Again — only use this when someone is asking if it’s OK for them to do something or to take something from you.

Absolutely

This word keeps coming up, doesn’t it?

Well, it’s obviously a very useful one.

Yep

As mentioned above, be careful with this one.

It could seem a little rude in the wrong situation.

Yeah

Again, although this can be quite friendly, make sure you’re not in a situation where you need to be very, very polite.

Fine

Finally, this one is also a bit like “yep” and “yeah” — it’s rather informal and casual.

If you’re giving permission for something small, like opening the window, then it’s … well … it’s fine.

But if someone wants to take you out to the best restaurant in town, then you might want to sound a bit more enthusiastic.

Unless you really don’t like restaurants. In which case, you could always say “no” instead.

Say “Yes” to a Suggestion

Sometimes we want to say “yes” in order to accept a suggestion.

Maybe it’s about what we’re going to have for dinner

Or it could be about what to do:

Sure

It’s another simple and efficient word — not too formal, not too informal.

All right

This one isn’t massively enthusiastic but has a nice, agreeable feeling to it.

Definitely

This one means “That’s a good idea!”

It’s quite enthusiastic and shows that you’re quite strongly interested in the suggestion.

Absolutely

This is more or less the same as “definitely.”

Totally

This one is also similar to “absolutely.”

Feel the energy!

For sure!

Once again — it’s like “totally,” “absolutely” and “definitely.”

Excitement! Energy!

Yeah!

Yep

Here we are again! With “yep” and “yeah.”

As always, “yep” is a little short … a little impolite. But efficient.

Yeah

… and “yeah” is also quite informal but could be more friendly depending on how you say it.

OK

This is like “all right” — it’s agreeable but not very enthusiastic.

Fine

This is similar to “OK.” Save it for the less exciting things in life.

I’d use it for small suggestions, like “Shall we leave in five minutes?” and not for big ones, like “Why don’t we invest the four thousand in the stock market?”

I’d love to

It’s friendly and shows genuine, positive enthusiasm.

So make sure you don’t use it for small things that don’t really make you feel enthusiastic, like “Let’s do the tax returns now, shall we?”

Unless you’re the sort of person with a sense of irony in their humour. In which case, this could be quite a funny phrase to use.

Why not?

I like this one.

It kind of says, “Wow! I hadn’t thought of that, but now that you mention it, I think it’s a great idea!”

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OK — now you have some new and interesting ways to say “yes” in English.

Can you think of any more?

Yes? Let me know in the comments.

Yes and no are two short words and, yet, they convey the most important information many living beings receive. On one level, this information regulates their organic and cellular functions; on another, their behavior, and ultimately, their survival. If I say these words don’t require any explanation, everyone would probably agree—and yet we’d be wrong. Did you know that in some languages, yes and no, don’t exist?

In my book “Psychology Rather Than Power,” written in 1984, I define ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in dog training for the first time. ‘Yes’ means “continue what you’re doing now,” and ‘no’ means “stop what you’re doing now.” I explain how to teach our dogs these signals, and I emphasize that ‘no’ is not an inhibitor (earlier called a punisher) and that it should always be followed by a reinforcer as soon as the dog changes its behavior.

As the years passed, I reviewed, improved, and refined all definitions, especially how to teach dogs these signals. In 1994, I wrote the first draft of SMAF, which provided the opportunity to analyze signals and teaching methods (POA=plans of action) with increased precision. The definitions of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ remained the same. However, SMAF enabled us to distinguish clearly between the two entirely different ways dog owners and trainers used the sound ‘no.’ One was a signal, as I describe; the other was an inhibitor. The inhibitor ‘no’ was pronounced more harshly than the signal ‘no’ but was fundamentally the same sound. Transcribing it into SMAF, we did not doubt that they were two different stimuli. The signal is No(stop what you are doing right now),sound(no), and the inhibitor is [!+sound](no).

Using an inhibitor as a signal to encourage the dog to do something is never a good idea as an inhibitor’s function is to decrease the frequency, intensity, duration, or topography of a particular behavior. Conversely, a signal’s function is to produce a behavior that we increase in frequency, intensity, or duration by reinforcing. Therefore, to strengthen the effectiveness of No,sound (the signal), we had to explain to owners and trainers very carefully that they should never use ‘no’ as an inhibitor. Amazingly (or perhaps not), many dogs could distinguish between the two ‘no’s,’ but we didn’t want to risk them forming a respondent association between the sound ‘no’ and an aversive. We would use any other sound (word), e.g., ‘phooey’ (‘fy’ or ‘føj’ in the Scandinavian languages), as an inhibitor.

Why the word ‘no’?

The word ‘no’ seemed to me at the time the best option to convey, “stop what you are doing right now.” After all, implicitly or explicitly, this is the way most of us use the word (when we have it in our language, that is). Of course, some people cannot say ‘no’ tactfully, but some people having bad manners shouldn’t detract from the meaning or value of the word, per se.

All infants have an innate understanding of ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Their bodies function on ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Their survival depends on it (Photo by Mike Robinson). 

The magic words ‘yes’ and ‘no‘

‘Yes’ and ‘no’ are two words used for expressing affirmatives and negatives. The words ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are difficult to classify under one of the eight conventional parts of speech. They are not interjections (they do not express emotion or calls for attention). Linguists, sometimes, classify them as sentence words or grammatical particles.

Modern English has two words for affirmatives and negatives, but early-English had four words: yes, yea, no, and nay.

If you’re a native English speaker, you know what yes and no mean, and you have no problem using these words, from a linguistic point of view. You might have a problem using the word no from a psychological point of view, but that’s an entirely different story.

If you are a native English speaker and have never ventured into learning other languages, you probably believe there is no problem in answering any question with yes or no. After all, most things either are or are not, are either true or false, right? I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you by demonstrating that you are wrong.

Even though some languages have similar words for yes and no, we do not use them to answer questions. For example, in Portuguese, Finnish and Welsh, you rarely reply to a question with yes and no. Portuguese: “Estás bem?” (Are you OK?) “Estou” (I am). Finnish: “Onko sinulla nälkä?” (Are you hungry?) “On” (I am). Welsh: “Ydy Ffred yn dod?” (Is Ffred coming?) “Ydy” (He is coming).

In Scandinavian languages, French and German (amongst others), you answer questions with yes and no. However, you have two different ways of saying yes depending on whether the question is an affirmative response to a positively-phrased question or an affirmative response to a negatively-phrased question. In Danish and Swedish, you say (ja, jo, nej), in Norwegian (ja, jo, nei), in French (oui, si, non), and in German (ja, doch, nein).

So far so good, but if you venture into the Asian languages, it gets far more complicated. Some Asian languages don’t have words for yes and no. In Japanese, the words はい (hai) and いいえ (iie) do not imply yes and no, but agreement or disagreement with the statement of the question, i.e. “agree.” or “disagree.” はい can also mean “I understand what you’re saying.” The same in Thai: ใช่ (chai) and ไม่ใช่ (maichai) indicate “correct,” “not-correct.” In Thai, you can’t answer the question “คุณหิวข้าวไหม” (Are you hungry?) with “ใช่” (correct). It doesn’t make sense, for what is it that you are confirming to be correct? The right answers are “หิว” (hungry) or “ไม่หิว” (not hungry). In all Chinese dialects, yes-no questions assume the form “A or not-A” and you answer echoing one of the statements (A or not-A). In Mandarin, the closest equivalents to yes and no are 是 (shì) “be” and 不是 (búshì) “to not be.”

Latin has no single words for yes and no. The vocative case and adverbs do it, instead. The Romans used ita or ita vero (thus, indeed) for the affirmative, and for the negative, they used adverbs such as minime, (in the least degree). Another common way to answer questions in Latin was to repeat the verb like in Portuguese, Castellano and Catalan (e.g. est or non est). We can also use adverbs: ita (so), etiam (even so), sane quidem (indeed, indeed), certe (certainly), recte dicis (you say rightly) or nullo modo (by no means), minime (in the least degree), haud (not at all!), non quidem (indeed not).

In computer language, yes and no appear as a succession of “A or B” conditions. If condition A is true, then action X. A computer’s CPU only needs to recognize two states for us to instruct it to perform complicated operations: on or off, yes or no, one or zero.

The theories of quantum computation suggest that every physical object, even the universe, is, in some sense, a quantum computer. The cosmos itself appears to be composed of yes and no. Professor Seth Lloyd writes: “[…] everything in the universe is made of bits. Not chunks of stuff, but chunks of information—ones and zeros. […] Atoms and electrons are bits. Machine language is the laws of physics. The universe is a quantum computer.”

The way computers use yes and no is the closest to our customary use of these terms. ‘Yes’ means “continue what you are doing right now.” ‘No’ means “stop what you are doing right now.” That is the implied meaning of yes and no in the majority of the sentences. “Are you hungry?” The answer “yes” would result in you getting food and “no” in the opposite. “Shall I turn right? ” followed by a ‘yes’ would make me continue with what I intended to do and if followed by a ‘no,’ would make me stop doing it. A ‘yes’ in response to “Did you buy rice, today?” would prompt me to continue doing whatever I might be doing and a ‘no’ would lead me to interrupt my errand to go and buy some rice. There are many other examples, but in general yes prompts or encourages a continuation, and no does the opposite. There is nothing particularly positive or negative in either. Both are valuable bits of information that we can transform into behavior to our benefit. Both save energy, the most precious resource for all living organisms.

Two peculiar aspects of ‘yes’ and ‘no’

As we have seen, some languages don’t have words for ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ That is a cultural phenomenon. For example, in Japan and Thailand, it is bad manners to be direct. Japanese and Thai people consider ambiguity to be a beautiful aspect of their language. The objective in courtesy is to convey the true meaning between the lines. The way one delivers a message should be as unclear as possible, especially when criticizing someone or rejecting an invitation. This linguistic feature is probably related to the sense of self-respect and honor so pronounced in both cultures, i.e. one doesn’t want to hurt other people’s feelings or lose face.

For example, I can’t say to a Thai employee that arrives late to work, “Arriving late is not acceptable. Please, rectify this in the future.” If I do, I won’t have an employee coming to work at all the next day or maybe ever again. I’d have to say, “If we had employees that arrived late, we would have to ask them to come at the right time, don’t you think?” That would have the desired effect. If you invite a Japanese to an event that he or she is not the least interested in, they will answer “I want to come, but unfortunately, it is impossible on that day.” That would suffice for me to understand that they are not interested without making me lose face. Suggesting another day (and missing the point) is considered impolite.

Thais use ครับ (khrap, by men), ค่ะ (kha, by women) and the Japanese use はい (hai) to show that they are listening to you because it is impolite for them to let you talk for any length of time without their acknowledgment. However, it does not mean they agree with what you are saying, they will comply, or that they even understand you.

Regarding animal training, a signal is “everything that intentionally changes the behavior of the receiver.” A command is “a signal that intentionally changes the behavior of the receiver in a specific way with no variations or only minor variations.” The words ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are probably the closest we come to commands. ‘Yes’ means continue and ‘no’ means stop and, as to most behaviors, there are few possible variations in continuing or stopping, if any).

Is ‘no’ a bad word?

‘No’ is not a bad word. On the contrary, it is a very useful word. It conveys information in a precise and efficient way. To get ‘no’ as an answer is as important as getting a ‘yes.’ Both save us energy and lead us to our goal. Personally, I like the words yes and no equally, and I wished people would learn to use them properly and more often.

The other day, I went into a store at a busy hour, and I didn’t have the time or the patience to wait. I said to one employee: “Excuse me, I have a question that you can answer quickly with a yes or no. Do you have a Time Capsule 2TB?”

“I have one, but it’s reserved for a customer,” he answered.
“What does that mean? Is he coming to pick it up or not?” I asked again.
“Yes, he is.” He answered.
“Well, then that’s a no, right?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.

Why couldn’t he just have said no the first time? It would have saved us all time: me, the other customers in the line, and not least himself.

Another example:

United Airlines desk at the gate boarding to ORD: I approach and ask: “Do you have an empty seat on this flight?”
The United operator answers me: “That depends on your ticket, sir.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I reply, “whether or not you have empty seats does not depend on my ticket, It depends on whether all the seats will have butts on or not.”
A colleague of hers smiles and checks it. “Sorry, sir, this flight is fully booked. I have one seat on the next flight, but… it’s business class.”
“No ‘but.’ You can put a comma or an ‘and’ in there,” I say. It blows my mind. A seat is a seat, and that’s what I requested. A seat is not less of a seat because it is a business class seat.
“Excuse me, sir?” she replies with a smile, plainly not understanding my comment based on linguistics/logic.
“Never mind. Here’s my frequent flyer card. I have an e-ticket for the 7.13 pm flight. Please, upgrade it with my miles. Thank you.” I say smilingly, in an attempt to reinforce her behavior for having been able to think clearly (yes/no) for two seconds and for checking the availability on the next flight.
“Yes, sir.” Finally a short and precise answer!

Why couldn’t they have answered first ‘no’ and then ‘yes’ until they got the next bit of information if I had any to give them? It would have saved me (and them) time and energy. If the lack of words for ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in Asian languages is frustrating for the Western communicator, the refusal to use them, or their incorrect usage in languages where they exist and are well defined, is exasperating.

Why don’t some people like the word ‘no’?

Cultural differences apart, some people don’t like the word ‘no’ for the same reason that some dogs don’t like it: they associate ‘no’ with aversives. Parents are just as bad as dog owners in distinguishing between signals and inhibitors, and they make identical mistakes, which will later create problems to their children.

Of course, parents have to yell ‘no’ if the toddler is about to stick his fingers in the wall outlet (plug socket). There’s nothing wrong with that. What is incorrect, and creates the aversive respondent association with ‘no’, is the constant repetition without a reinforcer when the behavior stops. The toddler only learns that, sometimes, parents go berserk, and she has no idea why or how to avoid it. The toddler becomes so sensitive to the word ‘no’ that later, like many others, he or she would rather live with regret than to risk hearing a ‘no.’ This conditioning can also happen subsequently, in adult life, to which abusive parents, enraged spouses, and tyrannical bosses all contribute.

An elementary mistake, committed by both parents and dog owners, adds to the aversive connotation of ‘no.’ If we have to use inhibitors, we should never (ever) inhibit the individual, only the behavior. Inhibiting the individual may create traumas, a lack of self-confidence, the feeling of rejection, etc. Inhibiting the individual rather than the behavior can even produce aggressive behavior instead of decreasing the expected behavior.

The reason some people don’t like ‘no’ has nothing to do with the word or the message conveyed, but with the aversives to which it was (respondently) conditioned. Changing that goes beyond the scope of biology, animal behavior, and linguistics, and pertains to the realm of psychology.

Still, there’s nothing wrong with the word ‘no’ and particularly not with the message it conveys. There is something wrong with abusive parents, enraged spouses, tyrannical bosses and ignorant people (all potentially abusive animal owners). To forbid the word ‘no’ or to replace it with another, e.g. ‘stop,’ does not resolve the problem. The only thing that does solve the problem is to educate people, to teach them to respect others independently of species, race, and sex.

English Springer Spaniel on the trail: ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are indispensable tools to direct the dog.

‘No’ in dog training

The signal ‘no’ is indispensable in dog training. I use it constantly when training detection dogs, rats, and Guinea pigs and the animals respond correctly with no emotional response at all. I give the signal ‘search’ using sound, the dog searches, I reinforce it. I give the dog the signal ‘no,’ the dog changes direction, I reinforce it. If the dog stops and looks at me, I give the signal ‘direction’ with a stretched arm toward the desired target, I give the signal ‘search’ employing sound, the dog searches and I reinforce it. If necessary, while the dog searches, I can signal ‘yes’ to encourage the dog to continue searching (‘yes’ functions here as a signal and a reinforcer, not an exception at all).

For those of you proficient in SMAF:

PRS1. {Search,sound => Dog searches => “!±sound”};

PRS2. {No,sound => Dog changes direction => “!±sound”};

ALT2. {No,sound => Dog stops and looks at me => Direction,arm + Search,sound => Dog searches => “!±sound”};

If necessary:

PRS1. {Search,sound => Dog searches => “!±sound” => Dog searches => Yes,sound}; /* Yes,sound also functioning as “!±sound */

In languages where there are no words for ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ such as Thai, I use ใช่ (chai=correct) and หยุด (yut=stop) respectively for “continue what you are doing right now” and “stop what you are doing right now.” I don’t use ไม่ใช่ (maichai=not correct) because the sound is too close to ใช่ (chai=correct).

Some trainers don’t allow their dog owners to say ‘no’ at all in their classes. That is an option, particularly if we have a class full of badly-mannered dog owners, but if our class consists of average, well-mannered owners, I cannot see any reason to do so. If they are not well-mannered, maybe they should learn to be so before beginning training their dogs; and perhaps, by training them to be polite to their dogs, we could even make a change for the better in their lives in general by teaching them good manners toward their fellow humans as well.

Forbidding the signal ‘no’ in dog training is a grave mistake (and misunderstanding) in my opinion. Firstly, it is one of the two most critical signals in life. Secondly, we all need a quick, efficient signal to stop a behavior which might be fatal for someone we care about (human or animal). Thirdly, it would be an untenable waste of time and energy if we had to resort to diverting maneuvers every time someone (our dogs included) did something undesirable.

Substituting the signal ‘no’ with other sounds (words) such as ‘stop,’ or ‘off’ doesn’t solve the problem. It only transfers the conditioning to those new words. The problem is that some people just can’t speak nicely to anyone. Most dog owners yell their dog’s name, and they yell ‘come.’ What are we going to do about that? Forbid them to use their dog’s name and the word ‘come’? What’s the next thing we are going to forbid them? Rather than banning words, it seems to me a much better option to teach them to communicate properly. We need to explain to them that the words they use, the way they use them, are not signals but inhibitors and, by definition, they will not achieve the desired result. Quite the contrary, they will get an undesired outcome. We need to show them how appropriate signals produce appropriate behaviors.

Bottom-line: The fact that some languages don’t have words for ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and that Latin uses quantifiers instead, suggests there are cognitive as well as emotional elements connected to the meaning of both words. Maybe the logical human brain likes the precision and simplicity implied in ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ but the emotional human brain doesn’t. The universe and computers have no issues with ‘yes’ and ‘no’ perhaps because they are not emotional. Maybe ‘yes’ and ‘no’ appeared in some languages at a stage when action became more decisive than emotion. We don’t know. I haven’t been able to clarify any of these questions. Nevertheless, ‘yes’ and ‘no’ convey important bits of information in a succinct and precise way. In the languages, which contain them, we can use them correctly for our benefit.

Enjoy and don’t feel guilty because you are well-mannered and know how to say no.

References

• Abrantes, R. (2011). Mission SMAF—Bringing Scientific Precision into Animal Training.
• Abrantes, R. (2011). Signal and Cue—What is the Difference?
• Abrantes R. (2011). Commands or Signals, Corrections or Punishers, Praise or Reinforcers.
• Abrantes, R. (2011). Unveiling the Myth of Reinforcers and Punishers.
• Bloomfield, L. and Hockett, C. F. (1984). Language. University of Chicago Press.
• Boyd, K. M. and Osborn K. (1997). The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Parenting a Preschooler and Toddler, Too.
• Lloyd, S. (2006). Programming the Universe: A Quantum Computer Scientist Takes On the Cosmos. Alfred A. Knopf Publishers.
• Mueller, S. (2011) Learn to say “No.
• Powell, C. S. (2006). Welcome to the Machine. The New York Times. Retrieved 2009-06-08.
• Seife, C. (2006). Decoding the Universe. Viking Books.
• Sichel, M. and Cervini, A. L.A. Boundary is NOT a Rejection.
• Sonnenschein, E. A. (2008). Sentence words. A New English Grammar Based on the Recommendations of the Joint Committee on Grammatical Terminology. Read Books.
• Watts, R. J. (1986). Generated or degenerate? In Dieter Kastovsky, A. J. Szwedek, Barbara Płoczińska, and Jacek Fisiak.Linguistics Across Historical and Geographical Boundaries. Walter de Gruyter.
• Visual Thesaurus
• Wikipedia. Yes and No.
• Williams, C. P. and Clearwater, S. H. (1999). Ultimate Zero and One: Computing at the Quantum Frontier. Kindle eBook.

Featured image: ‘Yes” and ‘no’ are the two single most important signals in the universe. Photo: Atlantic puffins, Vesterålen, by Billy Idle.

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1. — Hello. Is that Tom?
      (Привет. Это Том?)
    — Yes, that’s me. Hello, Dave.
      (Да, это я. Привет Дэйв)
    — What about a game of golf?
      (Как насчет игры в гольф?)
    — Certainly, Dave. When do you plan it?
      (Конечно, Дэйв. Когда ты планируешь ее?)
    — Actually, I was thinking of Friday. Will it be convenient for you?
      (На самом деле я думаю на пятницу. Тебе будет удобно?)
    — That’s a good idea. I haven’t got anything fixed up for Friday yet.
      (Отличная идея. Я еще ни о чем не договаривался на пятницу.)
    — What time shall we meet then?
      (Во сколько времени мы встретимся тогда?)
    — I hope 3 pm will be fine.
      (Надеюсь, 15.00 будет то, что надо.)
    — OK. See you on Friday.
      (Идет. Увидимся в пятницу.)

2. — Frank, would you like to go to a football match with me? I’ve got two tickets for today’s match.
      (Френк, ты не хотел бы пойти со мной на футбольный матч? У меня есть два билета на сегодняшний матч.)
    — I think, I can go. I’m doing nothing special tonight. Who is playing?
      (Думаю, я пойду. Сегодня вечером я ничем интересным не занят. Кто играет?)
    — Zenit is playing against Spartak. (Зенит играет против Спартака.)
    — Oh, that should be an exciting match! Both teams have been very strong this season.
      (Это должен был впечатляющий матч! Обе команды очень сильны этот сезон.)
    — Yes, you’re right. Let’s meet at five at our usual place.
      (Да, ты прав. Давай встретимся в пять на нашем обычном месте.)
    — Fine. Thank you for the invitation.
      (Идет. Спасибо тебе за приглашение.)

3. — Hello, Ann! How about going to the swimming pool together tomorrow? 
      (Привет Энн. Как насчет того, чтобы пойти вместе завтра в бассейн?)
    — I’d love to! But unfortunately I’ll have to prepare for my exam tomorrow.
      (Я бы хотела! Но, к сожалению, я буду завтра готовиться к моему экзамену.)
    — Well, I suppose you could take a short rest from your studies.
      (Ну, я полагаю, ты могла бы передохнуть от своей учебы.)
    — Sorry, Pete, let’s go there some other day, may be right after the exam.
      (Извини Пит, давай сходим туда в другой день, возможно сразу после экзамена.)
    — OK. Let’s go on Wednesday then. I wish you success at your exam.
      (Ладно. Пойдем тогда в среду. Я желаю тебе удачи на твоем экзамене.)
    — Thank you! (Спасибо!)

Did you know there are better ways to say yes, no, and maybe in English? Here’s an example…

Last night I was at the grocery store. I needed a few things to make dinner. Just before I left, I saw a friend I haven’t seen for a long time. I was so happy to see her!

Like typical Americans, we hugged, we chatted, we asked some small talk questions. And then she said, “We should get together! What are you doing this weekend? Why don’t you and your husband come over for dinner Saturday night?”

There was just one problem. I honestly couldn’t remember if we were free or if there was already something on our calendar.

The truth is, I needed to say, “Maybe.”

But maybe sounds awkward, even rude. In this situation, if I said maybe, it’s similar to saying, “I don’t really want to but I’ll think about it.”

I really did want to see her. I really did want to make plans to have dinner together Saturday night. But to be polite, I used a different way to say maybe.

Just like in your language, we have many ways to say yes, no, maybe and I can’t in English. And today you’re going to learn them.

In the video lesson, I share common examples for casual and professional life in English. Then I’ve added more examples below.

Watch the video, review the lesson, and then check out my challenge question for you.

[Verse 1]
In the morning when you rise
Do you open up your eyes, see what I see?
Do you see the same things every day?
Do you think of a way to start the day
Getting things in proportion?
Spread the news and help the world go ’round
Have you heard of a time that will help us get it together again?
Have you heard of the word that will stop us going wrong?
Well, the time is near, the word you’ll hear
When you get things in perspective
Spread the news and help the world go round

[Chorus]
There’s a time and the time is now and it’s right for me
It’s right for me, and the time is now
There’s a word and the word is love and it’s right for me
It’s right for me, and the word is love

[Verse 2]
Have you heard of a time that will help get it together again?
Have you heard of the word that will stop us going wrong?
Well, the time is near, the word you’ll hear
When you get things in perspective
Spread the news and help the world go round

[Chorus]
There′s a time and the time is now and it’s right for me
It′s right for me, and the time is now
There’s a word and the word is love and it′s right for me
It’s right for me, and the word is love
There’s a time and the time is now and it′s right for me
It′s right for me, and the time is now
There’s a word and the word is love and it′s right for me
It’s right for me, and the word is love
There′s a time and the time is now and it’s right for me
It′s right for me, and the time is now
There’s a word and the word is love and it’s right for me
It′s right for me, and the word is love
There′s a time and the time is now and it’s right for me
It′s right for me, and the time is now
There’s a word and the word is love and it′s right for me
It’s right for me, and the word is love
There′s a time and the time is now and it’s right for me
It’s right for me, and the time is now

How to Format Lyrics:

• Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus
• Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines
• Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc.
• Use italics (<i>lyric</i>) and bold (<b>lyric</b>) to distinguish between different vocalists in the same song part
• If you don’t understand a lyric, use [?]

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