A lot of people have trouble on when to use the words who and whom. Mixing these words up can be relatively easy, and, if you confuse them too frequently, it can cause your writing to look sloppy.
So, in this post we’ll talk about the grammatical functions of who vs. whom as well as give you a few tricks to easily determine which word to use and when.
Now, to begin, both who and whom are pronouns, which means they are words used as substitutes for nouns. But even though they are both pronouns, they are used different in a sentence. Let’s take a look at each word.
When to Use Who
When do you use who? When who is used in a sentence, it takes the nominative form. That simply means that it acts as the subject of the sentence. For instance,
- Who ate the pizza?
- He ate the pizza.
In this example, who is acting as the subject of the sentence in the same way that he is.
When to Use Whom
When do you use whom? When whom is used in a sentence, it takes the objective form. That simply means that it acts as an object, either of a verb or preposition. For example,
- You called whom?
- You called him?
- I deliver the pizza to whom?
- I delivered the pizza to him.
In both of these examples, the word whom is acting as an object.
In the first set, the word whom is acting as the object of the verb “call.” Whom did you call? I called him. It describes the person you called.
In the second set, the word whom is acting as the object of the preposition “to.” To whom did you deliver the pizza? I delivered the pizza to him. It describes the person to whom you delivered the pizza (to him).
Problem Sentences
Now, determining the case (nominative or objective) of these words can sometimes be tricky because who and whom so often find themselves in the form of a question.
This makes their true function within the sentence hard to see unless you sort the words into a standard subject-verb-object sentence. To help with this, I suggest changing sentences like the following ones into “I should say who is calling?” to make them easier.
- Wrong: Whom should I say is calling?
- Correct: Who should I say is calling?
By changing these sentences into the form “I should say who is calling?” you can more clearly see identify the subject, verb, and object.
Another problem that arises when determining the proper case is when the pronoun serves a function (for example, nominative) in a clause that itself serves a different function (for example, objective) in the main clause.
In situations like these, the pronoun’s function within its own clause determines its case. For example,
- WRONG: Give it to whomever wants it.
- CORRECT: Give it to whoever wants it.
- WRONG: Whoever you choose is fine by me.
- CORRECT: Whomever you choose is fine by me.
In the first example above, the entire clause “whoever wants it” is the object of the preposition “to.” But, in the clause itself, “whoever” serves as the subject, and that function determines the case.
Similarly, in the second sentence “whomever” is the object of “choose” in the clause, so it must be in the objective case even though the clause itself serves as the subject of the sentence.
Tricks to Remember
Now that you know the functions of whom vs. who within a sentence, I can show you an easy trick that can speed up the process of determining their cases.
If you still don’t know when to use who or whom, try simply substituting the words he/him in the clause where the whom or who appears. If “him” sounds better than “he” in the clause, use “whom” because “him” and “whom” both end in and “m” For our above examples,
- Wrong: I should say him is calling.
- Correct: I should say he is calling.
“Him” does not work in this sentence which means that “he” or “who” is the correct choice.
Summary
In short, who and whom have specific functions in a sentence, and it’s important to use each word correctly.
- The word “who” acts as the subject of a sentence.
- Who ate my pizza?
- The word “whom” acts as the object of a verb or preposition.
- Whom are you calling?
- To whom are you talking?
- You can substitute he/him for who/whom if you are having difficulties in determining their function within a sentence.
Contents
- 1 When to Use Who
- 2 When to Use Whom
- 3 Problem Sentences
- 4 Tricks to Remember
- 5 Summary
What’s the difference between who and whom? These are two words that cause a lot of confusion, even for native-English speakers. So, it’s well worth taking a few minutes to know the difference between the two. Below, we’ve provided an easy guide on understanding the grammatical rules. We’ve also given some examples on how to use who and whom correctly. If you want to avoid mistakes in using who vs whom, read on.
Who vs whom: the grammar rules
There are a few rules when you should use who and whom. “Who” is a subjective pronoun. “Whom” is an objective pronoun. That simply means that “who” is always subject to a verb, and that “whom” is always working as an object in a sentence. We’ve explained what subjects and objects in a sentence are.
But what does that mean? “Who,” the subjective pronoun, is the doer of an action. For example, “That’s the girl who scored the goal.” It is the subject of “scored” because the girl was doing the scoring. Then, “whom,” as the objective pronoun, receives the action. For instance, “Whom do you like best?” It is the object of “like”.
General rule for who vs whom:
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Who should be used to refer to the subject of a sentence.
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Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition.
Just be careful, because there is an exception: There is one context in which you should always use whom: after a preposition at the beginning of a sentence or clause. For example, To whom did you address that letter? (Not “to who”). And, My teacher, for whom I’m doing some research, is currently in a meeting. (Not “for who”).
The difference between who and whom explained
The difference between “who” and “whom” is the same as the difference between “I” and “me;” “he” and “him;” “she” and “her;” etc. «Who», like other pronouns such as: I he, and she, is a subject. So, it is the person performing the action of the verb. On the other hand, «whom», acts like me, him, and her in a sentence. It is the object. Therefore, it is the person to/about/for whom the action is being done.
Whom is also the correct choice after a preposition: with whom, one of whom, not “with who, one of who.”
Easy tip to tell the difference between who and whom
We explained that “who” is a pronoun like “I” or “he.” Also, “whom” is a pronoun like “me” and “him.” So, sometimes it can help you to rewrite the sentence and replace who/whom with another pronoun so that you can see the relationships more clearly.
If you can replace the word with “he” or “’she” then you should use who. However, if you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom. Let’s look at some examples.
How to use who and whom correctly: sentence examples (with an explanation)
Just remember that if you can replace a word with “he” or “she” then you should use «who». However, if you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use «whom». We’ll test this in the following sentences.
Example sentences: Correct use of who
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This is who warned me. (It is He/she warned me. Not “him/her” warned me)
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Jack is the one who wants to go. (He/she wants to go. Not “him/her” wants to go)
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I need to know who makes the final decision. (He/she makes the final decision. Not “him/her” makes the final decision).
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I know who your best friend is! (He/she is your best friend. Not him/her is your best friend).
Example sentences: Correct use of whom
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With whom am I speaking? (I am speaking with him/her. Not I am speaking with he/she)
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To whom this may concern. (This concerns him/her. Not this concerns he/she)
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A number of friends went to the cinema, one of whom was the birthday boy. (The birthday boy was one of them. Not the birthday boy was one of they.)
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Actually, she knew very little about the man with whom she had promised to spend the summer. (She has promised to spend the summer with him. Not she has promised to spend the summer with he.)
Grammar Quiz: Who vs Whom in English language
Now that we’ve gone through the grammar rules and shown you some examples, let’s test your understanding with this quick “Who vs Whom” test.
Quiz: Select “who” or “whom” for each sentence
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Who/Whom is paying for this?
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He saw a gentleman who/whom he presumed to be the director, and told him about Helen.
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At the porch he met two of the landed gentry, one of who/whom he knew.
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Who/whom wants dinner?
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Here in dwells an old man with who/whom I would like to converse.
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This is the lady who/whom I told you about.
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Who/whom is going to the ball game?
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Lisa is the girl with who/whom I’m driving to Maine.
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Who/Whom did the candidate choose for his running mate?
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To Who/Whom were you talking just now?
Click here to view the answer key.
The Advanced Who vs Whom
We’ve covered the basics of who vs whom, but it can get slightly more complicated. For example, you use the tip we’ve presented earlier that if you can replace a word with “he” or “she” then you should use who. And, if you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom. But what if that doesn’t work, or it doesn’t fit your sentence?
We’ve used the following example sentence before:
A number of friends went to the cinema, one of who/whom was the birthday boy.
Complex sentences: Clauses
This sentence is difficult because it contains a clause. A complex sentence contains an independent clause and one or more dependent clauses. An independent clause can stand alone as a sentence, but a dependent clause (even though it has a subject and a verb) cannot stand alone. In the example, “A number of friends went to the cinema” is one clause. The other clause is “one of who/whom was the birthday boy.”
The last clause is adjectival clause. To put it simply: it means this part of the sentence aims to tell us more about the other part of the sentence. Who went to the cinema? Friends and one of them was the birthday boy.
The key lies in the subject and object of the clauses. In “whom was the birthday boy,” “the birthday boy” is the subject, “was” is the verb, and “whom” is the object.
Need to read more on subjects and objects in sentences? Check out our other blog post: Grammar 101: Subjects and Objects in English.
Grammar Quiz: Answer key
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Who
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Whom
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Whom
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Who
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Whom
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Whom
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Who
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Whom
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Whom
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Whom
Who vs whom. The difference between these words is that whom is the objective form of who, which was originally only a subjective pronoun. Compare:
- A woman was standing at the bar. > Who was standing at the bar? She was standing at the bar.
- I saw a woman at the bar. > Whom did you see at the bar? I saw her at the bar.
As you see in the examples above, if you can answer with she then who is correct. If you can answer using her, then whom is correct.
- The barman was talking to the woman. > To whom was the barman talking?
- The woman who was standing at the bar is Peter’s sister.
- The woman whom I saw at the bar is Peter’s sister.
- The woman to whom the barman was talking is Peter’s sister.
In the above sentences who is used in the subject position of the sentence or phrase, while whom is in the object position or after a preposition.
While whom can only be used in the object position or after a preposition, who can be used in both the subject and object positions.
Whom is not often used in modern spoken English, even though it is common in written, especially formal language. (If the sentence is long or complicated, and it is not convenient to separate the preposition from the pronoun, the preposition + whom structure may be used in spoken language, too.)
- We had already known the man who became the head of the office. (general)
- Those who need more information should ask the guide. (general)
- Who did you see at the bar? (general)
- Whom did you see at the bar? (very rare but possible)
- Who was the barman talking to? (general)
- To whom was the barman talking? (possible)
- He was respected by the people with whom he worked. (formal)
- He was respected by the people (who/that) he worked with. (informal)
- Who can we turn to in a time of crisis? (informal)
- To whom can we turn in a time of crisis? (formal)
Common phrases with whom:
- To whom it may concern (Used for addressing people, especially in a letter, when you do not know the name of the person who is in charge of the business you are writing or speaking about.)
- With whom do you wish to speak? (A very polite phrase used on the phone instead of the simple and neutral Who would you like to talk to?)
More for you:
Family Relationships in English And Phrases About Family
Who and whom are commonly confused words. In fact, many native English speakers don’t know the difference between them.
However, there is a simple way to determine which word is correct. You should use who to refer to the subject of a sentence, and whom to refer to the object of a sentence.
If you want your writing to sound professional, getting words like who and whom correct is important. Let’s look at these two words in more depth to understand how they work in a sentence.
The Difference Between Who and Whom
Who and whom have the same meaning and are both often used in questions, but in different ways. To choose the correct word, you need to know whether you are referring to the subject or object of the sentence.
- Subject: The person is completing the action in the sentence. Subject pronouns include I, he, she, and they. When describing the subject of a sentence, you need to use the pronoun who.
- Object: The person is receiving the action of the verb. Object pronouns include me, him, her, and them. Use the pronoun whom when describing the object of a sentence.
Let’s look at two examples to spot the difference between the subject and object.
- Sentence A: Who is going to the party?
- Sentence B: Whom should I invite to the party?
In sentence A, you could answer with a person’s name, or with a subject pronoun like she or he. The people are the subject of the sentence.
But in sentence B, whom is the object of the verb invite, and you would answer with an object pronoun like him or her.
Let’s check out another example of how to turn a sentence into a question with the word whom:
- Tony ate the sandwich.
In this sentence, Tony is doing something; he’s eating. That means he’s the subject of the sentence. You could replace Tony’s name with who to form a question:
- Who ate the sandwich?
If we wanted to use whom, we can flip the original sentence and make the sandwich the subject and Tony the object.
- The sandwich was eaten by Tony.
Now the subject of the sentence (the sandwich) is not performing the action. The sandwich isn’t the one doing the eating! We could replace Tony with whom to ask the question:
- By whom was the sandwich eaten?
When to Use Who (Examples in a Sentence)
Not sure if you should use who? Don’t worry; there’s a simple trick to help. All you have to do is see if you could answer the question you’re posing with he or she or they. If you could, then who is correct.
Which of these sentences is correct?
- Sentence A: Who ate my snack?
- Sentence B: Whom ate my snack?
Try answering this question by adding she or he in the answer:
- She ate my snack.
Because you can use she, sentence A is correct: Who ate my snack?
Here are some other example sentences with who:
- Who else wants cake?
- My mother, who immigrated from Chile in the 1980s, has always loved American culture.
- A child who is hungry can’t learn properly.
When to Use Whom (Examples in a Sentence)
So what about when to use whom? Just like in the example above, try answering your own question. If you have to use him or her or them in your reply, you’ll need to use whom.
Which of these sentences is correct?
- Sentence A: To who is the package being sent?
- Sentence B: To whom is the package being sent?
You can only reply to this question by using him, her, or them:
- The package is being sent to him.
That makes the correct answer sentence B: To whom is the package being sent?
Here are some more examples of whom in a sentence:
- Whom are you supporting in the election?
- Whom should I contact about the party?
- Whom do you want to ask to the dance?
Another useful tip is to remember that whom is always used instead of who after the prepositions to, for, with, and of. Here are some examples of whom after a preposition:
- The employee, with whom I spoke, said I could have a refund.
- The children, one of whom dislikes loud noises, will be with us all weekend.
- For whom should I wait?
Many native English speakers don’t use whom at all, thinking it sounds old-fashioned and pretentious. Instead, they will use who for both the subject and object of a sentence. This isn’t correct, but most native English readers won’t notice the error.
If you’re having a conversation with someone, you may spot them using who rather than whom. While this is fine when speaking, it’s always best to use the correct form in writing, especially in professional settings.
On the flipside, some English speakers use whom instead of who in an attempt to sound sophisticated or formal. This is something to avoid, especially in legal and academic writing where this mistake will be obvious. Often, using whom in error to sound intelligent backfires and makes you sound less educated.
Using ProWritingAid’s grammar checker will help you identify if you used who when you meant whom. The English language is hugely complicated so ProWritingAid can give you peace of mind that your writing is error free.
Sign up for a free ProWritingAid account today.
Conclusion on Who vs. Whom
Now we’ve fully explored the differences between who vs. whom, let’s recap the simple ways you can tell which one you need.
Use who if:
- You’re referring to the subject of the sentence
- It can be answered with she or he
Use whom if:
- You’re speaking about the object of the sentence
- The question can be answered with him, her, or them
- It follows the prepositions to, for, of or with
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The correct use of who and whom in questions and statements may seem like a lost battle, still fought only by punctilious English teachers. However, using who and whom correctly can come in handy in formal writing, and it will make you seem more educated.
Steps
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1
Understand the difference between who and whom. Both who and whom are relative pronouns.[1]
However, who is used as the subject of a sentence or clause, to denote who is doing something (like he or she).[2]
On the other hand, whom is used as a direct or indirect object of a verb or preposition.- While a preposition (at, by, for, in, with, etc.) often comes before whom, this is not always the case, so the key question is to ask, “Who is doing what to whom?” What follows is a quick way to determine which pronoun to use in a particular question.
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2
Use who when referring to the subject of a sentence or clause.[3]
- Who brought the paper inside?
- Who talked to you today?
- Who went to dinner?
- Who ate the cake?
- Our job is to determine who qualifies.
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3
Use whom when referring to the object of a verb or preposition.[4]
- To whom it may concern:
- To whom did you talk today?
- Whom does Sarah love?
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4
Ask yourself if the answer to the question would be he/she/they or him/her/them. If you can answer the question with her, then use whom. It’s easy to remember because they both end with m. If you can answer the question with she, then use who.[5]
- Example: A suitable answer to the question, “To [who or whom] did the prize go?” is, “It went to them.” (It is improper to say “It went to they.”) The correct pronoun for the question is whom.
- Example: A suitable answer to the question, “[Who or Whom] went to the store?” is, “He went to the store.” (It is improper to say “Him went to the store.”) The correct pronoun for the question who.
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5
When trying to decide whether who or whom is correct, simplify the sentence. Where other words in a complex sentence might throw you off track, simplify the sentence to include just the basic subject, verb, and object. It helps to move the words around in your head to identify the word relationships.[6]
For example:- “Marie Antoinette and her ladies-in-waiting only invited people to their party [who or whom] they considered to love parties as much as they did.” The simplified mental version becomes: “whom they considered.”
- “Marie Antoinette prevented her mother from knowing [who or whom] she invited to the Petit Trianon.” The simplified mental version becomes: “[who or whom] she invited.” Then, you could rearrange it again to say: “she invited whom”, clarifying that she did something to (invited) whom.
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6
Remember that the distinction between who and whom is less important in informal spoken language than it is in formal written language. It’s possible that the distinction might someday erode altogether. For now, though, it is important to keep this clear in written language.
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Question
Is it right to say, «To whom does this car belong?»
Yes.
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Question
Which is correct: ‘for my sister, whom I love very much,’ or, ‘for my sister, who I love very much’?
In this case, whom is correct, because the object of your love is your sister Think about it this way — if a person is having the verb done to (with, about, for, etc.) them, you want to use whom.
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Question
Is «whom are you going to invite» correct?
Yes, because in this sentence you are the subject, and the invited party will be the object of your action (being invited).
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Ask yourself “who did what to whom?”[7]
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Learning who and whom can help with grammar and understanding different languages. It is also good to know this if you want to speak fluent English and write correct sentences.
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It is possible to write around problems involving who and whom, but the result is almost always clumsy. If you write “To which person did the prize go?” because you can’t remember that whom is the correct pronoun for such a question, you will have avoided a grammatical error at the expense of elegance.
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There is much confusion and misuse on this topic. Just as correctly using whom may make others think that you are intelligent, misusing it may make you seem pompous. Never use whom as a subject pronoun. This is as incorrect as using who where whom is required. Many people will mistakenly believe that you are trying to be formal.
- “Whom are you?” is wrong. It is meant to be “Who are you?”
- “John is the man whom I expect will be awarded the prize” is wrong. It should be “John is the man who I expect will be awarded the prize.”
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Article SummaryX
When you’re deciding between who and whom, try answering the question you want to ask. If you can answer the question using him or her, you should use whom. If you can answer it using he or she, use who. For instance, look at the question, “to [who
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