To end a friendship word

На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать грубую лексику.

На основании Вашего запроса эти примеры могут содержать разговорную лексику.

It can still be very difficult to end a friendship.

It’s not easy to end a friendship.

A very peculiar way to end a friendship.

Fundamentally, you don’t need a checklist of legit and non-legit reasons to end a friendship.

В целом, вам не нужен контрольный список законных и незаконных причин, чтобы закончить дружбу.

There are of course many ways to end a friendship.

What circumstances might make a person decide to end a friendship?

How to end a friendship that can’t be fixed

Which made me think: when the time comes to end a friendship, what’s the best way to do it so that the other person is able to move on quicker and not feel so broken?

Что заставило меня задуматься: когда придет время заканчивать дружбу, как лучше всего это сделать, чтобы другой человек мог двигаться быстрее и не чувствовать себя таким разбитым?

It’s not easy to end a friendship.

Ничего не найдено для этого значения.

It isn’t always necessary to send a text to end a friendship. If you and a pal have drifted apart, you’ll probably reach out less and less often until it gets to the point where you no longer speak. This is the natural progression of many friendships as people get older, grow, and change — and that’s OK.

There are, however, quite a few circumstances where you may want to break up with a friend so that you can truly move on. In situations where a friendship is no longer in your best interests, it can be tempting to ghost or send an insincere text like, “Hey, I’m super busy but I would love to hang out when things calm down,” says mental health counselor Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP. But if you truly can’t see yourself getting together again, figuring out what texts to send to end a friendship is tough, but can ultimately spare their feelings.

You might also want to end a friendship over text if the person is toxic or draining to be around. Do they pick fights? Bring you down? Or have they betrayed your trust? “Texting can be used as an effective tool for creating a safe boundary as it reduces the ways in which the person can try to manipulate you,” says trauma-informed therapist Dr. Amelia Kelley. “By not being in person, or even on the phone, you can remain more grounded and choose how much of the interaction to participate in.” Once you end the friendship, you can block them and move on.

While it’s never easy to call off a friendship, sometimes it’s for the best. If you’re not sure where to start, these therapist-approved texts can help you break up with your old friend.

Experts:

Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP, mental health counselor

Dr. Amelia Kelley, trauma-informed therapist

Sherese Ezelle, LMHC, licensed behavioral therapist

Emily Griffin, MA, LCPC, mental health therapist

Dr. Easton Gaines, licensed psychologist

Lillyana Morales, LMHC, psychotherapist

Shawnessa Devonish, LCPC, NCC, licensed clinical professional counselor

Sameera Sullivan, relationship therapist

Jordan Pickell, MCP RCC, relationship therapist

Brianna Wolf, counselor

This article was originally published on May 2, 2021

• #1

Hello everyone,

I’ve been looking for a verb meaning to «end a frienship«,»to end a relationship that isn’t a sexual/romantic one«,»to end a relationship with your mother, brother, friends, etc«.I found the verb «to drop«, which I used in the contexts below, could you please check these sentences for me?

==>My best friend dropped me and I still don’t know why.
==>The way things are, I’ll have to drop my brother.
==>Why did you drop me?
==>She dropped her mother as they were about to kill each other.

Thank you in advance!

Cagey

post mod (English Only / Latin)

• #2

Hello everyone,

I’ve been looking for a verb meaning to «end a frienship«,»to end a relationship that isn’t a sexual/romantic one«,»to end a relationship with your mother, brother, friends, etc«.I found the verb «to drop«, which I used in the contexts below, could you please check these sentences for me?

==>My best friend dropped me and I still don’t know why.
==>The way things are, I’ll have to drop my brother.
==>Why did you drop me?
==>She dropped her mother as they were about to kill each other.

Thank you in advance!

In my experience, we «drop» friends, and other voluntary relationships. Thus, your first and third sentences seem fine to me.

However, we don’t «drop» family members, because those relationships are not voluntary, and cannot be ended in that sense. We are far more likely to say that we «stopped speaking to our mother/brother/sister». Possibly we would say we «cut off» our family.

One phrase that would work with both family and informal relationships is «stop speaking to». I am sure there are others.

• #3

Cagey,

Thank you very much!

• #4

I completely agree with Cagey, from a British point of view. (And thanks, Cagey, for explaining to me why I only liked 50% of Xavier’s examples: We pick up friends and so can equally well drop them. Family members we’re just

cursed

born with)

• #5

Ewie,

But as a British native speaker, you would say «He cut off his mother, brother, etc»,meaning «he no longer has a relationship with them»?Is it possible?

Thank you,

• #6

If I was given the ‘naked’ sentence I’ll have to cut my brother off, I’d

assume

it meant «I’ll have to change my will so that my brother got nothing».
That use of cut off (= ‘cease to have friendly relations with’) seems a bit on the dated side to me, Xavier. Like Cagey, I’d probably say stop talking to … or no longer have anything to do with … or, rather more grandly, sever all ties with.

• #7

Thank you very much,

English doesn’t have a common word or term for a friendship breaking up, like it does for a romantic relationship breaking up (eg. divorce, break up, split up, separate).

A fall out is the noun that most commonly comes to mind.

fall out noun to have an ​argument or ​disagreement that ​ends a ​relationship:

Joan and I had a fall out over money and we’re no longer friends.

You can use fell out as a verb.

Joan and I fell out over money and we’re no longer friends.

You could simply say stopped being friends.

Joan and I had a dispute about money and we’re no longer friends.

Joan and I had a dispute about money and we’re no longer on speaking terms.

Joan and I had a dispute about money and we’ve stopped being friends.

Asked by: Eleazar Mueller MD

Score: 4.3/5
(31 votes)

How To End A Friendship Amicably

How do you end a friendship nicely?

Break up with your friend in a firm, but gentle way. Tell them why you don’t want to be their friend and don’t be scared to express your feelings. If you need to break up with a friend, do it. If they only had one month to live, do not break up with them.

How do you know it’s time to end a friendship?

What do you say to a friend that ends a friendship?

9 Therapist-Approved Texts To End A Friendship

How do you say goodbye to a friendship gracefully?

How to Say Goodbye to a Friend

17 related questions found

It can be difficult when you realize that it’s time to end a friendship. Whether the relationship isn’t providing anything positive for your life or has just become toxic, deciding to move on may feel heart-wrenching and uncomfortable, but it is necessary.

So how do you go about doing it respectfully and gracefully, without hurting anyone’s feelings or making the situation worse?

According to experts, here are ways to end a friendship and navigate the process with care:

Throughout our lives, we continually make new connections and develop relationships with those around us. Some of those relationships stay pretty surface level, while others may find a long-term, more permanent place in our lives as dear friends. 

Related: 55+ Qualities of a Good Friend

But what happens when that friendship takes a turn, and instead of being an enriching relationship in your life, it becomes more of a toxic energy-sucking kind of friendship?

This can be a challenging situation, especially if you are an empath or people pleaser, but the bottom line is if a friendship has reached the point of feeling exhausting, frustrating, or imbalanced, it could likely be time to take action to protect your emotional and mental health.

Sit with your emotions and clearly articulate what isn’t working

What isn’t working? Initially, I recommend sitting with your thoughts and emotions about this friendship and clearly articulating to yourself what isn’t working. 

The reason I suggest this is that you need to be fully clear on what specifically isn’t working to effectively and honestly communicate this to your friend. 

You can’t expect to explain something you are unclear about. Your perspective is your truth, and in some cases, friends in our lives don’t actually realize they are behaving in a way that is taking a toll on the friendship, or they could be aware of their behavior but don’t realize the effect it’s having on you specifically. 

That is their perspective and has nothing to do with what you need. Should you choose to try to communicate your feelings with them and try to repair the relationship into a mutually beneficial one, being very clear on what isn’t working for you will be critical. 

Please know a conversation like this may not offer any resolution if your friend is not open to receiving this kind of communication.

Don’t simply “ghost” and disappear into the background

Ultimately if you decide that it is in your best interest to end the friendship, there is a golden rule in how you could go about this, which I will share with you shortly. 

I will, however, strongly recommend that you don’t simply “ghost” this person, cut off communication, and disappear into the background. That leaves an open emotional wound for both people, which is also a very passive-aggressive action that, as a coach, is never a very healthy route to take.

Set a healthy boundary, state it, and stick to it

When the time has come to end the friendship, you need to keep in mind that your number one priority is to protect your emotional and mental health. 

Bottomline: ending a friendship is simply you setting a healthy boundary based upon what you know does and does not support what is best for you. It is literally your duty to filter out what is not for the greatest good in your life, and if a friendship is one of those things, it’s likely time to end it.

Cutting ties with things in your life can be difficult, and I have an entire chapter dedicated just to this subject in my book. Cutting ties with things like bad habits or unhealthy patterns is usually you dealing with just yourself, but cutting ties with a friend can be really hard as another human being is involved. 

There can be feelings of guilt, shame, fear, or anxiety, but if you go back to the exercise I described earlier about writing down and clearly articulating what isn’t working for you in this friendship, that is where you can start to see that the emotion of it needs to be set aside. 

Easier said than done, and sometimes the help of a counselor, therapist, coach, or trusted advisor can help you detach from the emotion of it and look at only the facts. The facts show that this friendship doesn’t pour into you, but it actually sucks the energy out of you. 

In ending a friendship, you should communicate this with the other person. It’s important to set your boundary, state it, and stick to it. 

Related: How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Respect Boundaries

This is one of the greatest ways you can honor yourself, protect your mental/ emotional health, and make space in your life for the things and people that do actually pour into you.

Be appropriately honest

There is only one golden rule when it comes to ending a friendship the healthy way. The best phrase to describe the golden rule is: Be appropriately honest.

You are not doing your friend any favors by sugarcoating the situation. If anything, sugarcoating the reasons you are creating a healthy distance from them will cause added confusion. 

Being forthcoming and very clear in communicating why the friendship is no longer working for you will provide a clear picture for your friend of where you stand and what you will and won’t put up with. 

You should not bash them or demean them or speak in a condescending tone or push any kind of a “guilt trip” onto them, but empower yourself to speak with polite honesty. 

Additionally, do not expect your conversation to spark any kind of change within them. You cannot change others, and this conversation should never come with the pretense or mindset of the hope of getting them to change. This isn’t about changing a person; it’s about changing a situation.

Have a face-to-face discussion

I always encourage a face-to-face discussion rather than a written delivery of the message. This supports healthy communication and avoids that passive-aggressive path. 

Prepare yourself as your friend may not take this well, but remember their reaction is not your problem, and it’s not your fault. That might sound harsh, but you are doing what is best for you in this situation. 

You cannot live your life for the peace and contentment of everyone else because when you do that, you end up creating a storm inside of yourself.

Learn to let go of things gracefully

Ending a friendship can be hard, but with time, it can also bring great peace. Often, we don’t fully realize the taxing effects of a toxic friendship until it’s no longer a part of our lives. 

Learning to let go of things gracefully in our lives is one of the most beneficial life skills you could refine.

Related: The 9 Best Books on Forgiveness and Letting Go

So be brave, honor yourself and your boundaries and lean into the empowerment of understanding that you and only you can decide what is and is not supporting the kind of energy you want surrounding you. 

If a certain friendship does not fall into the category of positive support, give yourself permission to let it go gracefully.

Express how you feel and the things you want or need in a friendship

Friendships can be both a source of support and stress. When friendships are mutually beneficial, they are supportive and enhance your life, making it a little easier. When friendships are one-sided, they add to your stress level, especially if there is conflict. 

In addition, close friendships can serve as confidants and help us through difficult situations that our spouses/partners might not otherwise understand. These shared experiences can help us feel less alone, and knowing we have someone who is always there for us, can be very therapeutic. 

We have different relationships with our friends than our families, and we often feel more comfortable sharing more intimate details with our friends. 

When friendships end, it can be devastating. No matter the reason or who is responsible for ending the friendship, the resulting feelings can be experienced as a deep sense of grief and loss: sadness, regret, and disappointment. 

Anxiety can increase. We must create new support systems and perhaps even redefine who we are outside of this friendship. When your friendship with someone starts to change, it’s helpful to consider if it’s worth continuing. 

Whether or not you discuss ending your relationship with a friend depends on how close you are and how well you can communicate with each other. 

If you have been friends for a long time and think you can be honest with your friend, try discussing your friendship. Express how you feel and the things you want or need in a friendship. If they did something to hurt your feelings, let them know! If you still feel like you need some separation, ask for some time. 

The loss of a friendship may affect how we feel about ourselves. We can perceive the breakup as a rejection and begin to feel insecure. We may experience fear that our secrets will be revealed. 

The loss of a friendship can create confusion as we may experience relief that the conflict no longer exists yet disappointment that we have lost someone with whom we shared memories. 

It’s important to recognize that your feelings surrounding the friendship are valid. Understand that you may need more time to process the loss. Try not to judge yourself for your reaction to the breakup or feel silly because it’s “just a friend“—a loss is a loss, no matter what kind.

While the end of a friendship will take different forms depending on the friendship itself, there are some universal steps that you can take to help you through the difficulty of ending a friendship.

Recognize your role in the friendship

In other words, do not blame shift. When you blame shift, you are giving away your power; if you blame the other person entirely for the difficult relationship, then only they can fix the problem. 

Related: Why Do We Blame Others for Our Failures, Mistakes, and Problems?

Instead, when you accept your role in the relationship, then you are also accepting that you have the power and solution to write the narrative to define how the relationship will end.

Do not bring others into the breakup

It is easy to fall into the trap of rallying to get others on your side, especially if you share several mutual friends. Don’t make it ugly. 

If you talk poorly about your friend or share secrets they told you in confidence when the relationship was good, you’ll lose the trust of other friends. It is a surefire way to end up losing friends that you want to hold onto.

Recognize your difficult experience with the friend is yours alone

Each shared mutual friend has their own unique relationship and experience, which may be very different from your own. Be prepared to honor their relationship, realizing their continued friendship has nothing to do with you.

Think of the person you are breaking up with as both your teacher and your student

Focus on what you learned from the relationship and perhaps what you were there to teach them. 

Focusing on why you two came into one another’s lives and the benefits you received can help put the friendship into perspective and give you the grace and gratitude needed to get through the friendship breakup without falling into the blame game. 

This focus can also take away some of the stings that come with ending a friendship.

Remember, you can’t unring a bell

While your friendship is coming to an end, don’t say or do something that could hurt your reputation. Don’t do something out of character that will soil your good name.

Recognize that friendships do come to an end

Very few friendships last a lifetime, and that is okay. Friendships ebb and flow, and we all grow and change at different rates. 

Give yourself time to grieve. Friendship breakups can be as difficult as romantic breakups. Sometimes healing takes time, so don’t forget to give yourself the grace of time to heal.

Today’s society has made ending a friendship as simple as hitting the “block” button on our phones and social media apps. Unfortunately, this process is almost a little too easy. 

Related: How Social Media Affects Relationships

Simply blocking someone creates a situation where both parties may end up emotionally wounded or much worse (depending on the nature of the friendship). 

Instead, I recommend evaluating the friendship and taking these specific steps if and when you’ve decided to end things.

Ask yourself why you want or need to end the friendship

By asking yourself these questions, you can identify any major risks you’ll face when you end the friendship. This is important because psychopaths and people with narcissistic personality disorder can suddenly become violent, unhinged, and hyper-reactive when you attempt to break contact with them unexpectedly.

Related: Narcissist Versus Sociopath Versus Psychopath: What’s the Difference?

Consider any physical, digital, or financial ties to the friend

Get a list together that includes anything and everything material that you share with them and cover your bases before you end the friendship. 

Do not alert the friend to what you are doing or your plans to end the friendship yet. If they ask, try to brush them off with a brief yet reasonable and realistic excuse.

Think about the personal details you’ve shared with them

What does this person know about you, and could they use the information to harm you in any way?

When we end friendships with narcissists and psychopaths, it’s common for them to put all the intel we’ve given them throughout the relationship to work. You may discover they suddenly attend classes at your school, work out at your gym, or have become best friends with your sister. 

If you’re concerned they may use things you’ve said to them against you once you’ve officially ended contact, consider slowly pulling back from them and figuring out a way to make the other party decide that the friendship is no longer serving them.

Consider your personal emotional ties to them

Think about what you get out of the friendship. An extremely emotionally needy friend may be annoying, but you might feel bored once their constant texts or messages no longer roll in throughout the day. 

How will you feel once you are no longer speaking to them? What kind of gaps will this create in your social life, and how will you fill them?

Decide how to end things officially

Every friendship is unique, and there’s no one best way to end yours. I recommend thinking about how the other party will react. 

Narcissists and psychopaths typically react with aggression, often violent, when you end contact with them. Unfortunately, it is often harder to identify narcissistic and psychopathic traits in platonic friendships since these individuals direct most of their abuse toward their romantic partners or immediate family members. 

Related: 60+ Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist

Someone who “seems nice” but is just a little too emotionally needy could suddenly take on a Jekyll and Hyde-type personality, should you have the audacity to end contact with them.

In most cases, you might find it’s in everyone’s best interest just to let the relationship fizzle out. You can always take specific steps to make yourself an unattractive friend to the other party without doing anything too drastic. 

If “no contact” is the only option, this could be your instinct telling you that they will react aggressively. In this case, it’s probably best to just hit the block button and deal with things in your own way without giving the other party an explanation. 

When you give narcissists and psychopaths an explanation for ending things, they will only use the opportunity to gaslight you, insult your boundaries, degrade your character, and strike back with low-blow insults. It’s not worth it. 

Making new friends is one of life’s greatest joys, as we all appreciate having people we can rely on and share experiences with. However, sometimes friendships come to an end for a variety of reasons. 

Ending a friendship can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that moving on from relationships that are no longer beneficial or healthy for you is okay. 

The following are some tips to aid in ending a friendship in a respectful and healthy way:

Acknowledge the situation

Before ending a friendship, it is important to acknowledge that the relationship has come to an end. This can be done by having an honest conversation with yourself and, if possible, your friend about why you feel the need to end the friendship.

Be respectful throughout the process

Ending a friendship can be difficult, so it is important to remain respectful throughout the process. Avoid name-calling or other disrespectful behavior and instead focus on expressing your feelings calmly and collected.

Communicate openly

Communication is key. Be clear and concise, avoid being overly emotional, and listen to your friend’s perspective. This will help ensure both parties understand the situation and can move forward.

Give yourself time

Ending a friendship can be emotionally taxing, so giving yourself time to process the situation is essential. Take time for yourself and focus on self-care activities such as journaling and meditation. Give time for reflection and grieving, a natural part of the process.

Move on and focus on the positive aspects of your life

Once the friendship has ended, it is vital to move on and focus on the positive aspects of your life. This can be done by spending time with supportive family and friends, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and focusing on personal growth.

Seek professional help if needed

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the end of a friendship, it’s essential to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance during this difficult time. 

Related: How to Know if You Need to See a Therapist

With the added help, you can develop healthy coping skills and learn to move forward, embracing the changes that come with the end of a friendship.

Ending a friendship is never easy, but there comes a point where friendship is not the same, where there have been situations that lead to an end. 

Here are some ways how you can end a friendship: 

Cut off communication with the other person

There are times when the person doesn’t need to explain why the friendship has ended, and simply cutting off communication is enough. 

A person can understand that trying to explain their reasons to the other person will generate a bigger problem, and as a way to avoid it, they simply stop talking and cut all ties that link the friendship. 

Sometimes it is not necessary to explain the decisions that are made; each person has the right to make the decisions that they consider to be the healthiest for their well-being.

Clearly explain the reasons you are ending the friendship

Some people need to explain why they want to end their friendship with someone since they see it as a way to close a cycle.

No matter the reason, the main thing is to clearly express why the friendship has to end.

Try not to make the environment hostile

In the process of ending the friendship, try not to make the environment hostile. Ending a friendship is not easy, but when the decision is made, it is best to try not to get upset, say words that may directly offend the other person, and have a healthy closure. 

When explaining to the other person why you decide to end the friendship, do it calmly and without argument. Highlight that during the time you were friends, you had wonderful times and that it is time for the cycle to close since everything has a beginning and an end. 

Let the other person express themselves and end the conversation by wishing them well.

Grieve the loss of friendship

In the current climate of strange, post-Covid-lockdown reality, ending friendships, whether they be short-lived or life-long, is a difficult and unfortunate decision. Our social and family connections have become more vital in maintaining our mental health and providing support and love in these difficult times. 

However, there comes a time in certain friendships or relationships where a forward trajectory is not possible. 

My own experience with this phenomenon occurred this past year after a lifelong friend, my college roommate, in fact, decided to continually lie to me about her toxic relationship with her husband.

For background, I have known this person since I was 18 years old. I am now 59. We have maintained a friendship through the years. 

However, when she married this particular person, any and every argument, disagreement, or falling-out we had over the years related to that toxic relationship and her continued decision to remain in a very unhealthy, verbally violent, and degrading situation. 

Related: Why Do People Stay In Toxic Relationships?

Several years in a row, she requested that I be ready to help her move out of her home with her young daughter while this toxic spouse was away at a conference. And each of these several occasions resulted in the same thing: her not moving out and using my time and emotional investment as pawns to explain why she had changed her mind. 

Other incidences involved his violent and verbal abuse of her in public places and their home when I was visiting. While one can assume the worst in these situations, there comes a point when continued support of wishy-washy behavior plays an emotional toll. 

These two toxic individuals are also professionals with high-paying jobs, so there was absolutely no reason for her not to leave other than because of her own insecurities and issues. 

This life-long friend finally served up “the straw that broke the camel’s back” when she recently, and finally, claimed that she had filed for divorce and was moving to a town five hours away, only for me to find out that the abusive spouse had moved with her to that town after they sold their home. 

I am still unclear as to whether or not she lied to me about actually filing for divorce. I have been asked to rush over to their home to appease her sobbing daughter, who had barricaded herself in a bedroom away from the toxic father while my friend was at an evening business meeting. 

I have listened to her repeatedly tell me that he threatens to commit suicide if she files for divorce. I have been there over and over to help, but those days are now over.

Being a good friend means knowing the truth

I am a loyal friend. I will bend over backward for those I love and for friends that have supported me in my life. However, the one part of friendship in which there is no room for continued breach is that of lying and hiding behind those lies to create a false reality and appearance that everything is fine. 

Related: How to Tell If Someone Is Lying to You 

To drag loyal friends into drama and dishonest behavior over and over again should never be tolerated. When I found out how many lies I had actually been told over the years, I ended the friendship. This was not an easy task. 

However, I had been fooled long enough. While I empathize with this “battered woman syndrome” and understand the psychological effects of her continued decision not to leave, years of this friend’s claims that she was going to seek help and remove herself and her daughter from the violence and toxicity eventually fell on my deaf ears. 

I decided to write her a very diplomatic email and wished her good luck. It was simple and to the point, but I had had enough.

I can honestly say that I do grieve this friendship for the over 40 years of laughs, travel, support, and family milestones. I grieve for her as well because her choice to appear in the world as fine, as something she is not, is her downfall. 

No matter how much money, career accolades, or type of car one drives for status purposes, what lies beneath is the truth, and sometimes the truth is a toxic, negative disease that permeates under the surface until it festers into the death of one’s spirit.

Decisions to end friendships open new doors

While my final email to her to wish her well was a genuine goodbye, I am now focused on old and new friends who shine a light on my goodness while they allow me to do the same for them. 

We are all flawed individuals; we all have baggage, quirks, and bad habits. However, to abuse a friendship for years through lies and deceit should never be tolerated. Perhaps I was in denial that she would treat me this way after all we’d been through together. I was naive to believe her but had known her to be so different years ago.

One thing that life will show you as we get older is that true colors eventually be revealed. Was she changed by staying in the toxic relationship? Absolutely. Could I have done anything more than I had already done to help her? No.

So as it stands today, I have one less lifelong friend, but I know that my decision to end the relationship was based on my belief that what I give out in this world is genuine and not a manipulative tactic to create false realities. 

It has been difficult, but I am proud of the fact that I am certainly honoring my limits and preserving my emotional well-being.

I pray for this once cherished friend and know I did everything I could to be there for her for decades. Onward and upward we go!

Base it on the gravity of the situation

I always advise people to conduct any confrontations in person so as to get maximum closure from the event. However, that’s not always a good idea. 

When you realize that the friendship is messed up beyond repair and don’t have any intention of hearing out the other person since their explanation will not help, it may be better to distance yourself entirely and end that friendship with a text. It’ll help keep you aloof and won’t drain you.

Need some inspiration? Don’t worry; I understand just how stressful this kind of situation can be. Instead of thinking of and overthinking your response, here are a few samples you can add to any text chain based on the severity of your situation:

Remember, keep it short and simple—for your own sanity.

Many things change as we grow up and go from being children to adults. Your wardrobe style, your palette, and your living accommodations are just some things that are probably different now than when you were young. 

Another thing that happens is that some of our friends when we were growing up seem to fade into oblivion. Maybe you no longer have things in common, or they could have moved out of state. 

Whatever the reason, losing our childhood friends is common, and it’s something most people can easily deal with. But what happens when you are an adult and want to end a friendship? 

At this time, you might want to be a child again. You wish the person could just fade out of your life. Since, most likely, this isn’t possible, how can you end a friendship?

Limit how much you communicate

Maybe you would talk to or text this person every day in the past. Now that you have reasons to no longer remain friends with them, try limiting the amount of time you spend communicating with them. 

Hopefully, they will notice you aren’t as active in their life as you once were, and eventually, they might take the hint.

Limit the time you spend with them

If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t need to give the person a reason why you don’t want to hang out with them as much. Instead, tell them that you will be busy with work or are working on a project and don’t have much free time. 

Once you have taken some time away, you might even realize it was just what you needed.

Be direct and tell them

This can be the most difficult way to end a friendship. Even if you know this is the right thing to do, that doesn’t mean you won’t feel guilty about it or that the other person might try to make you feel bad. But telling them is the best way to know that the other person understands that you no longer want to stay friends. 

When you are telling them, meet at a coffee shop or another public place. You don’t want to be somewhere you might start feeling trapped. Also, use “I” statements instead of being accusatory. Try to make it more about you and less about them. 

Most importantly, be as calm and composed as possible. If you are in a public space, you don’t want to draw too much attention that might make one or both of you uncomfortable.

If you have a toxic friendship, this is one that most likely needs to end immediately. There is no reason to stay friends with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. 

What if you’ve just realized that you no longer have things in common or don’t enjoy spending time with them? There is nothing wrong with this. Just as romantic relationships can dwindle, platonic ones can as well. 

You might be sad once your friendship is over, but many other people in the world are looking to make new friends. You might be lucky enough to find one when the time is right.

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Friends are your biggest support system. However, some friendships turn toxic, which takes a toll on your mental and physical well-being. If you want to know how to end a friendship, this post is for you.

A good friend is your biggest supporter, cheerleader, and critic. They stand by you through thick and thin and lift you up when you feel low. However, not all your friends have the purest of intentions. Some people maintain friendship with you because they need something from you and don’t support you when you need them. So it is important to identify such friends and cut them off from your life. In this post, we talk about how to end a friendship respectfully.

8 Reasons To End A Friendship

Breaking a friendship can be heartbreaking, but sometimes, you may have to go through the tough task. Here are a few reasons why you may have to end a friendship.

1. They betrayed you

The person repeatedly betrayed your trust and has not made amends. They have lied to you and have gone behind your back many times and they have not done anything to change.

Point to consider

When a person betrays you repeatedly, it means they do not care about you or value your company. This equates them with an enemy instead of a friend.

2. They bring negativity to your life

Your friend does not leave any opportunity to bring you down. They constantly complain about something or the other, choosing to find fault in everything you do. They do not accept accountability for where they are at in life, and they want you to adapt their negative outlook.

3. They take advantage of you

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Your friend constantly asks for your help but is nowhere to be seen when you need them. They are fake friends who borrow things from you and do not return them. They ask you to do their work but never do anything for you in return. The relationship is not based on mutuality.

4. They don’t keep your secrets

Your friend constantly reveals the information you have shared with them in confidence. Even if you tell them to stop, they continue to gossip about your life’s secrets and do not hold your best interests or any interest in helping you feel safe.

Do remember

A person who does not respect you has no problem sharing your personal information with others. And what meaning does a relationship have if there is no respect?

5. They never have time for you

Your friend constantly ditches you for other people by giving you flimsy excuses. They are not too keen to spend time with you and break dates multiple times. It is a one-sided friendship where you are always vying for their time and attention.

6. They don’t respect boundaries

Your friend repeatedly pushes you to do things you are uncomfortable with. They don’t respect your schedule and expect you to drop everything to spend time with them. They deliberately bring up topics that you do not want to discuss. Your best interests are not considered, and so, you do not feel safe around them.

7. They begin to conflict with your values

You two do not have similar values anymore. Their values have begun to conflict with yours. To continue being friends with them, you will have to change yourself or lie to them, and it will not feel good for you to be around them.

8. They don’t make you feel positive

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Your lives have taken different paths. Whenever you meet them, they bring negative vibes, and you feel awkward. You feel depleted and negative after spending time with them, and they drain your energy.

If you think ending a friendship by meeting in person is a better idea than writing a letter, sending an email or texting, here are a few tips for proper closure.

1. Plan what you are going to say

Before meeting your friend in person to end the relationship, carefully plan what you want to say. Keep in mind the specific issues or incidents you want to address. Preparing in advance will help you share your reality while not forgetting what you wish to say – even if you are agitated. However, let your friend have their say too. Don’t overwhelm them by talking continuously. Let it be a healthy discussion.

2. Avoid blame games or bad language

Blaming your friend or hurling insults can make the situation go out of hand. To handle it gracefully, put forward your point of view calmly without using any foul language. Using “I feel” statements will help you share how they have affected you without overly criticizing them. Even if your friend raises their voice or insults you, maintain your cool. Quarrels can make it difficult for you to have a proper discussion and diminish the possibility of ending the friendship peacefully.

3. Focus on your feelings, not their faults

Instead of focusing on your friend’s mistakes, weave the conversation around your feelings. If you accuse them and hold them accountable for everything, they might become defensive. Use “I” or “We” rather than “You.”

You can tell them that you are not happy with the way things are going between you. However, avoid making unspecific and rude comments. Instead, communicate the impact of their behavior on you. For instance, you can say, “I was hurt when you couldn’t make time for me during my tough time last year.”

4. Communicate clearly

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Is this the end of the friendship or just a break? If it is a break, how long will it be? Are you completely cutting off contact, or will you exchange pleasantries sometimes? If you come across each other, what should be the right approach? Communicate all these clearly so that there is no confusion or problem in the future.

5. Share the load

Your main objective is to end the friendship on an amicable and healthy note. If you hold them solely responsible for everything wrong, it will only complicate the matter. Instead, share the responsibility by using a few “we” statements. For example, say, “Lately, we haven’t seen eye to eye on a lot of things.” Don’t say, “You are always ready for a fight.”

6. Avoid going round in circles

If you want to end the friendship quickly and painlessly, avoid discussing incidents of the past. A long, drawn-out conversation may take you off the track.  If your friend is a toxic person, they might try to argue and pull you down or manipulate you to change your mind. They may also try to put the blame on you. Once you have made up your mind, be firm about your stance on ending the friendship.

Quick tip

You may get emotional when breaking a friendship. However, remind yourself that letting go of the wrong person will make way for the true friend in your life.

7. Wish them the best for the future

If they were a good friend, they deserve kind treatment. They once meant something to you, so make it easier for them. Be the bigger person and sincerely wish them well for the future. Acknowledge the good times you have shared and end on a positive note so that both of you will feel better when you look back at your relationship.

Here are a few other ways to end a friendship smoothly and gracefully.

8. Let the friendship come to its natural end

Instead of ending the friendship abruptly, let it fade away gradually over time. You won’t have to explain anything or hurt their feelings. Distance yourself by reducing the overall communication or not answering their calls and responding to their texts immediately. Decrease the frequency of calls and face-to-face meetings too.

9. Take some time out

If the friend was dear to you, it might not be easy to end the friendship. Sometimes, a little time apart can serve as a “cooling off” period. However, sometimes, the distance might open your eyes to the fact that the friendship has run its course. The timeout can simplify the task of ending the friendship. Maybe your friend will glide into the separation, and the bitterness can be avoided.

10. Cut off contact completely

While it is good to end a friendship amicably, it might not always be possible. If your friend is mentally or physically abusive, controlling, obsessive, or has threatened your safety, then a discussion might not be an option. Block them on your phone and all your social media handles. Also, inform your mutual friends about the toxic situation.

11. Maintain distance from them

Once you have communicated that you want to end the friendship, you can distance yourself from them. If you work together, study in the same college/school, or are in the same group, moving away from them completely may not be possible. However, you can minimize the interactions with them. During your group meetings, it is best to reduce direct communication with them. If you work together, keep your interactions strictly professional. If they try to start an argument or harass you, tell them to stop politely but firmly.

How To End A Friendship By Text?

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If your friend turns violent or sentimental, text them to resolve the matter subtly.

12. Convey your discomfort by texting, “We are not on the same page anymore”

If the two of you have different values that constantly lead to disagreements, text them something like, “While we have had fun times together, my beliefs and interests are different to yours at this stage, ”or “Our lives are on diverse paths, and we have grown apart.” If they ask for specifics, you can give a prominent and latest example.

13. Express your pain with, “Our friendship is fractured beyond repair”

If they have broken your trust and spoken ill about you, be upfront about it. Text them about how you felt rather than harping about how bad they are. Avoid getting into too many details. It is okay to touch upon their latest indiscretion if required, but don’t use any loaded words.

For instance, you may text, “I am truly hurt that you chose to lie to me repeatedly and gossip about me behind my back.” “A healthy friendship is based on mutual trust and respect. I don’t think our relationship can ever recover from this.”

14. Text you have grown apart, “We don’t connect so well”

If you have drifted apart and feel that your friendship has become an obligation, you may end it by saying, “We were great friends, however, I don’t feel the connection anymore” or“ This is not an easy decision, but I don’t see the point in forcibly stretching this relationship anymore. Let’s go our separate ways.”

15. Communicate your need with a text, “My well-being is my priority”

You may want to end the friendship because the person constantly humiliates you and brings you down. In such a scenario, let them know that the friendship negatively affects you by texting, “I need to focus on my emotional wellbeing and rebuild my confidence. Our friendship is taking a toll on me, and it is not healthy for me to continue it any further. I wish you well for your future.” While there might be some disparaging remarks and insults from their end, avoid getting into an argument and let it go – take the high road.

1. How do you know a friend doesn’t care about you?

A friend who does not care about you, avoids meeting you by frequently canceling plans, does not include you in their inner social circle, seems distant, always blames you for everything, is not with you in your tough times, and does not feel happy about your accomplishments. If you have such a friend, you should distance yourself from them.

2. Are female friendships more fragile?

Female friendships can be more fragile than male friendships. However, it is believed that women discuss their vulnerabilities and fears with their close friends more than men. Therefore, women’s friendships are more intense and fragile.

How to end a friendship? There is no easy way for it, as friendship breakups do hurt. However, if you decide to part ways, there should be a strong reason, and it’s bound to be upsetting and mournful. It’s natural that you will feel a rush of negative emotions to reach the end, but it’s important not to be engrossed in the bitterness of the situation. So, properly plan what to communicate. Also, remember that time heals everything, and it might bring a better future.

Infographic: Words To Be Used When Ending A Friendship

It is often said that friends are our chosen families who support us in all phases of our life. However, sometimes, the friendship might end due to unfortunate circumstances or misunderstandings. Ending a good friendship is difficult, and one must handle it carefully to avoid lasting bitterness. This infographic helps you to choose the right words for ending a friendship.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

• When your friend takes advantage of you, and you feel betrayed, it could be a valid reason to end the friendship.
• Before taking a step further, plan well about what you want to convey.
• Avoid miscommunication and inappropriate language. Instead, focus on how they made you feel.

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Often in life, friendships come to an end. May be your friend is behaving in a worst possible manner or you’ve grown quite apart to stay in touch. Some strong differences of opinions and thoughts, ideas and beliefs, and inapt behavior―all can lead to an end of a friendship.

Ending a Friendship on Good Terms
Ending a friendship is one of the most difficult decisions one has to ever take. But compromising your self respect and being friends with someone is demeaning the value of friendship. Ending your friendship on good terms is a sign of maturity and reflects your gratitude for the times you were together with your friend. Remember, just because you’ll end your friendship, doesn’t mean you’ll be enemies. It just means you both will respect the boundaries drawn for each other.

Be Firm
You have to be sure of your decision as to why you want to end the friendship. You simply can’t avoid the situation just because you feel that you both may be hurt. More so, if you’ve been friends for long time, you’ve got to talk and discuss the issue with your friend.

Appropriate Location and Timing
Don’t underestimate the value of your friendship. Hence, don’t pop up this question in public or where you both are uncomfortable. Set aside some specific time and place to discuss this issue. You should have enough time to discuss the issue properly. You can voice over your concern to your friend and tell what all has been going wrong. Don’t play blame game. Convey the flaws in his/her action and behavior that hurt you.

Honesty Pays
Loyalty, honesty, and care makes a good friend. Hence, no matter what you’re feeling, neglected or abused, convey it to your friend honestly. The premise of a friendship is honesty. Don’t compromise on that.

Be Concise
Don’t beat about the bush and tell a simple thing in flowery words. Neither imply the possibility of renewing your bond nor end it like you’re allies in world war. End it with full respect.

Humility Works
Humility is the hallmark of a matured person. Don’t exaggerate the faults of your friend. Be humble and make him/her understand that his/her mistakes are genuine and you really have been hurt.

Get Over it, Move on
Once it ends, it’s never the same. Don’t start to appear weak and just to know whereabouts of your friend, keep texting or calling him/her. After everything is over, you gotta give space to each other. Don’t expect anything from your friend or call or email him/her.

Talk About Your Thoughts
Some pain is always there, no matter what. Your friend was a part of your life. However, you had to say him/her goodbye because there was no option other than this. It happens that you may feel the urge to talk to someone and share how you’re feeling. Sharing our thoughts takes off the burden from mind and heart. Talk to someone who is close to you and you’ll feel better.

These were some tips on how to end a friendship. Remember, friendship is a beautiful relationship and is valuable in our lives. The importance of friends and meaning of friendship goes beyond any explanations. But the issue is, you can’t compromise your individual respect just for a friendship which is hurting you at every step. In such cases, ending the friendship seems to be the only solution.