Three word music groups

Have you ever just been sitting around and thought to yourself, “Self, there were several music groups—both in hip-hop and R&B—that went by a three-letter acronym. Somebody should rank them.”? No? Just me. I’m self. Hello.

That’s exactly what happened to me yesterday. I was doing something—look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious but I can’t tell you what (I was doing) and I can’t tell you why (I was doing it). But in the midst of doing the thing that I can’t tell you about (or why, natch), I started thinking about SWV. And then I started thinking about TLC. And then I was like, “Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD.” After I said that last one, I said, mmhmm. And because of all of that, I was like, I wonder if anybody has ever taken the time to rank Black music groups that rested their laurels on a three-letter acronym of a name. It turns out that I can’t find any place that’s done it. So I decided to take up the mantle. I believe that sometimes you have to do the thing that nobody else will do. It’s like, I never told you to sell drugs. No, Hov did that so hopefully, you (we, oui) won’t have to go through that.

So that’s what we’re going to do today—the thing that came to me yesterday. I’m going to rank the Black music groups with three-letter acronyms for names. But first, let’s lay some quick ground rules: For the reading-ignorers, I said “groups.” No matter how many lives DMX has lived, he is not a group—he is one person. If you are still interested in discussing DMX further, I’m sure he will provide plenty of fodder for discussion after Wednesday night’s Verzuz against Snoop Dogg.

Also, I will not be including groups whose three-letters are actually numbers. Like, I will not be including 702 or 112. I will, however, be including a group that has more letters than numbers (that would be two since we’re doing three-letter combos). I feel like because the letters present a majority, for one brief moment in time, we will make an exception, hence the asterisk (*, that’s an asterisk) in the headline. It’s my party, I will cry if I want to.

Lastly, I will probably not include every Black music group with a three-letter acronym name. Frankly, that deep dive proved harder than I wanted it to be. Plus, I had to take some liberties already, so I stopped at 11. Black liberation is pretty much my oyster. Besides, the groups that I’m including were hard enough to rank. So let’s get to it. Also, this was a lot harder than I anticipated. Two plus two equals fish.

11. HWA

I’m not a woman so I can’t really speak on whether or not this Ruthless Records vehicle, shorthand for Hoez With Attitude (taking a cue from their label counterparts, N.W.A., soon come) was empowering or took power and ownership over the word “hoe/ho,” like we claim to have done with the word “nigga.” So their inclusion here in the 11th spot has nothing to do with their name. It is entirely because I literally can’t name a single song of theirs off the top of my head. Until today, I couldn’t say that I’ve ever actually heard one of their songs. You may have them higher, I will never.

10. 3LW

So, the only reason I have 3LW (3 Little Women) in the 10 spot is that I thought they did the song “As If,” which is actually a Blaque song. This means that I can’t name any 3LW song, though it turns out they were quite successful or at least successful enough to have their own separate “3LW discography” page on Wikipedia. But this group gave us Naturi Naughton, who played the character Tasha on Power. I enjoyed Power so they get to stay in the 10 spot. Also, this is my “group with majority letters so it’s a three-letter group name” exception if it wasn’t obvious. As if.

9. ABC

Short for Another Bad Creation, this Michael Bivins of New Edition and BBD kid-group gave us hits like “Iesha” (probably annoying every young girl with that name, no matter how it was spelled in the early ’90s) and “Playground.” They were also on the losing end of a fight they didn’t start with Kriss Kross. ABC wore their clothes inside out and Kriss Kross let us know that inside out was wiggedy wiggedy wiggedy wack. The Notorious B.I.G. would use a similar tactic on Kwame the Boy Genius a few years later when he told us that “your style is played out like those fuckin’ polka dots.” Kwame, who was known for polka dots, had to reinvent himself. Kwame is not on this list. His name isn’t a three-letter acronym.

8. MOP

Brownsville, Brooklyn’s finest, the Mash Out Posse, is an acquired taste. I’ve never fully acquired this taste. At the same time, they have one of the greatest robbery songs of all time in “Ante Up,” whose remix is an even better jam to get robbed to. Seriously, if you’ve never been robbed to “Ante Up” you’re missing out. It’s an adrenaline rush like a mug. I was just telling a youngster in my neighborhood who I saw stick up somebody while playing Roddy Ricch over his iPhone that he should really pull up MOP next time. I’ll report back on his progress.

7. LSG

Levert Sweat Gill was a group formed by Gerald Levert, Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill. I’d say they ordered the names in order of singing ability but then Keith Sweat would definitely be last. I also wish I could have been there to see them argue about whose initial should go first. They gave us a classic record in “My Body,” and sleeper hits with “Curious” and “All The Times.” That’s all I have really. “My Body” morphed into Silk’s record “Meeting In My Bedroom.” Silk, like Kwame, is also not on this list.

6. UGK

The UnderGround Kingz are both underdogs and popular, especially amongst rappers. Pimp C (R.I.P.), was like everybody’s favorite rapper and producer, and Bun B is an amazing lyricist who even managed to flip his talents into teaching classes at Rice University. If not for the tremendous accomplishments of the remaining groups, both on the charts and most importantly, in my heart, they’d be higher.

5. BBD

This is where shit starts getting really hard. Ricky (B)ell, Michael (Biv)ins and Ronny (D)evoe, the three-man offshoot of New Edition once Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant and Johnny Gill all went solo managed to release the song with the most staying power of all the non-New Edition projects. “Poison” will be on playlists in 3275. “Poison” is a cockroach, it will outlive us all. That is good enough to make it towards the top of this list.

4. LTD

LTD started out as Love, Togetherness, Devotion, but morphed singularly into L.T.D. Why is this group, right here? Four words. Jeffrey Osborne. “Love Ballad.”

3. NWA

Probably the most famous acronym Black music group of all time, they’re also the most nihilistic and misogynistic, and frankly, ridiculous. The group, as N.W.A. is, is what happens when great talent is used for pure fuckery. At the same time, they created avenues for more rich Black people than any other Black music group on this list, probably period (I did not fact check this). I think we can agree this is mostly a good thing.

2. TLC

TLC, shortened from the names of the group members—T-Boz, Left Eye and Chili—is arguably the most successful girl group/band of all time; they’re definitely one of the highest-selling. They’ve done it all. They successfully chased waterfalls even though they told the rest of us not to. They’re the group that caught the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow and possibly in Alabama.

TLC is the shit. They have cheat jams, love jams, jam jams and they’re not too proud to beg. When Khaled says “We the best,” he’s really speaking for TLC.

1. SWV

Given TLC’s greatness, why is SWV (Sisters With Voices), at No. 1 and not TLC? Simple: while TLC was bigger in every possible way, SWV made better songs and perfected hip-hop R&B in a way that will jam forever. You can throw a party and play multiple SWV songs. Their songs jam harder, remix harder and bop harder. SWV is my favorite girl group ever. My “we’re No. 1” foam hand raises for SWV. It’s the S (S) Dubba (Dubba) U (U) to the (V) V.

(Updated 3/3/22 with new details)

The Chalkeaters is a three-person Russian music group. It consists of Alios (songwriter and music video director), Masel (audio engineer and arranger), and Ergy (main guitarist and arranger). Aside from the trio, they regularly collaborated with other musicians, mostly vocal artists to sing their lyrics. They have been making songs since 2019.

Perhaps the one thing they are most famous for is their satirical and comedic songs about video games and gaming culture in general, accompanied with distinctly styled animated music videos. Their topics range from public figures like Todd Howard and Gabe Newell, to internet phenomenons and memes. They have a group of animators and artists under their umbrella who contribute towards the music videos.

Their YouTube channel can be found here.

■ Discography

Singles (by year):

• 2019:
  • «Bowsette» (feat. M-G UniNew and Nekro G)
  • «It Just Works» (feat. Kyle Wright)
  • «Breathtaking» (feat. Natalia Natchan)
• 2020:
  • «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons» (feat. Natalia Natchan)
  • «Lock Me Up (Quarantine Song)» (feat. Idrise)
  • «It’s a Gamer’s Christmas» (feat. Natalia Natchan)
• 2021:
  • «Count to Three» (feat. The Stupendium and Ellen McLain)
• 2022:
  • «Crushing Thirties» (feat. Johnny Gioeli)
  • «Rise Guys» (feat. Dennis DeMille)
  • «A Songus Amongus» (feat. BlackGryph0n)
  • «Furrýmon: Gotta Smash �Em All!» (feat. BlackGryph0n & PiNKII)

■ Tropes relating to the Chalkeaters’ songs and videos include:

• Arc Number: «Count to Three» has the number 3, obviously. The word «three» is said a total of 3 times in the song, and both the single release and YouTube animation cap at 2:59, just shy of the 3 minute mark.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Seen in «Breathtaking» after the flying puppies convert various game companies, causing their leaders to retract their previous controversial stances. The head of EA denounces their «surprise mechanics» lootbox system, the head of Blizzard holds up a sign that says «Free Hong Kong», and Gabe Newell decides to make Half-Life 3.
• Art Shift: The music video for «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons» constantly switches between two different art styles for the Animal Crossing and DOOM universes, whenever Isabelle and Doomguy travels between the two.
• Bland-Name Product:
  • First seen in the «It Just Works» music video, E3 in this universe is renamed to «F3», which stands for Fan Frustration Festival.
  • Also from the «It Just Works» music video, one of the items found inside a chest is a condom branded «Dunmex», a pun on Dunmer (a race of dark elves in The Elder Scrolls) and Durex.
  • The art for the «Lock Me Up» music video features a brand of snack called «Chalkitos».
• The Cameo: The real Gabe Newell himself cameos at the very beginning and end of the «Count to Three» music video, fitting given the song is about him and Valve as a whole. The song itself also features Ellen McLain, reprising her role as GLaDOS from the Portal series.
• Care-Bear Stare: The flying puppies in «Breathtaking» attack various game companies with light beams that cause the company buildings to turn pink and spew out rainbows, and the executives of said companies to walk back on their controversial statements and decisions.
• Christmas Songs: «It’s a Gamer’s Christmas», which showcases Christmas through the lens of your average gamer.
• Classy Cane: In the music video of «It Just Works», Todd Howard dances on stage wearing a tuxedo and carrying a Wabbajack staff.
• Clip-Art Animation: The music videos for «It Just Works» and «Count to Three» animates every character by having them stiffly move about while being propped up from below, giving them the appearance of stick puppets. When a character speaks, the top of their head unhinges at an angle, Pac-Man style.
• Continuity Nod:
  • The flying pink puppies from «Breathtaking» make numerous cameos in the music videos following it:
    • In «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons», one of them is seen as a shirt design in the Able Sisters’ store.
    • A flock of them make a brief re-appearance in «Count to Three», as seen through the window that Gabe peers into at one point in the video. One of them can also be seen in the Imagine Spot during Gabe’s presentation.
  • The Sonic the Hedgehog costume in «Rise Guys» is altered from the original game to include a green delivery man uniform, alluding to Sonic’s appearance in the music video for «Crushing Thirties».
• Crossover Ship: Invoked in «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons», which depicts a platonic one between Isabelle and Doomguy, the latter visiting the former’s world and the two quickly becoming great friends.
• Freeze-Frame Bonus: At the very end of «It Just Works», the screen behind Todd shows a Fallout 76-style main menu for a few seconds. Listed on the menu are as follows:

  It Just Works!
  It Just Works!!
  It Just Works!!!
  Paid DLC
  E3 Autograph Session
  Delete Game
  Help Me Please!
  Click Here to Sell Your Bags ^* 

• Genre Roulette: Most of their songs have genres that completely differ from each other. Notable entries include «Bowsette» (chiptune rock with rap), «It Just Works» (big band jazz), and «Count to Three» (electro swing).
• A God Am I: Played for Laughs with Todd Howard in «It Just Works»; at one point he even subtly replaced the word «God» with his own name.

  Our devs could eat the Shadowmere alive, SO BUY SKYRIM ONE MORE TODD-DAMN TIME!

• Growing Up Sucks: The crux of «Crushing Thirties», portraying Sonic the Hedgehog’s later life as a literal thirty-something adult now dealing with a lack of money, perpetually worsening physical health, and a strained marriage to his exasperated housewife Amy. To quote the first verse:

  You�re used to fighting at the speed of sound
  But now each time you try you hit the ground
  Held by the legacy behind you
  When wiki says you�re still around fifteen
  But time goes by, Green Hill is not that green
  You’re not a tape and no one can rewind you

• Hold Up Your Score: One short scene in the «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons» music video has Isabelle and others rate Doomguy’s unicorn costume this way. Isabelle gave it a 10, naturally.
• Imagine Spot: In «Count to Three», while Gabe is holding a presentation for the next Half-Life game, the POV character peers into a VR headset and imagines that Gabe announces the long-awaited Half-Life 3. Cut to reality, where Gabe announces Half-Life: Alyx instead.
• In the Style of: «Crushing Thirties» is in the style of Crush 40’s energetic rock music they’ve done for Sonic. In particular, it heavily resembles «Live and Learn»; the «yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah» and ending riff from the song are directly quoted in «Crushing Thirties».
• Incorruptible Pure Pureness: Keanu Reeves is portrayed as this in the song «Breathtaking».
• Killer Rabbit: Kind, sweet Isabelle turns out to be REALLY effective at slaughtering demons once she crosses over to the DOOM universe.
• Lighter and Softer: «Count to Three», which riffs against Gabe Newell and Valve, is notably more hopeful and lighthearted than its spiritual prequel, «It Just Works». The trio has said that they originally wanted to make a darker toned song similar to «It Just Works», but they eventually ended up making it «more motivating than punishing».
• Lyrical Dissonance: Comparatively, most of Crush 40’s prior songs for Sonic the Hedgehog are often motivating, confident, or emphasizing of a character’s traits for such. «Crushing Thirties» is the opposite: despite being made in the same kinetic rock style as these songs, the lyrics instead rub in how miserable Sonic’s adult life is. Said misery includes his worsening physical health skewering his trademark Super Speed like a pike, him and his old friends drifting apart over time, the day-to-day struggles of making ends meet, and the adulthood depression that comes with all of the above.
• Lucky Charms Title: Not for the song titles themselves, but their YouTube video titles are partitioned with squares («■»), as part of the branding.
• Mood Whiplash: «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons» starts off with a calming ukulele melody not too different from the songs you’d find in Animal Crossing, and then it quickly switches into heavy metal once Isabelle crosses over to Doomguy’s universe.
  • «A Songus Amongus» starts with a school lecture with Professor Chalk, which goes quite normally with discussions of the world history. Then the Among Us references start popping up…
• Ominous Latin Chanting: From «A Songus Amongus»

  «Credo in amogum et impostores suspectos! Quo fugiam ab eorum spiritibus!»^Translation 

• Parody Assistance:
  • Gabe Newell recorded video clips for «Count To Three», as shown at the opening and closing of the song. According to a community post, he also recorded some verses, but requested that they be cut due to his dissatisfaction with his performance.
  • Crush 40 vocalist Johnny Gioeli himself did the vocals for the Sonic the Hedgehog parody song «Crushing Thirties», which is itself an upbeat rock piece styled after Crush 40’s other songs for the franchise, only with a cynical undertone commenting on Sonic’s miserable life going into adulthood.
• Real Men Wear Pink: One of the activities Isabelle and Doomguy do together is having Doomguy try out silly costumes, such as a Winged Unicorn costume. Doomguy looks like he’s enjoying it.
• Ridiculously Cute Critter: The puppies in the «Breathtaking» music video. They are bright glowing pink and fluffy, they can sprout wings and fly, the larger ones are rideable, and they attack game companies with light beams of kindness.

  A whirlpool of puppies in vague neon light
  All purple and fluffy, please take me inside
  They’re swirling and laughing, awakening my mind
• Rule of Three: «Count to Three» has this in spades:
  • The word «three» is said only three times in the song.
  • The line «This time you’re bound to count to» or variants of that line often appear in sets of three.
  • The song’s runtime is a humorous subversion, clocking in at 2:59.
• Sampling: The Chalkeaters have a knack for incorporating the music of the source materials they’re parodying into their songs:
  • The beginning of «Bowsette» samples the Castle Theme from Super Mario Bros.
  • The main melody of «Doom Crossing: Eternal Horizons» directly quotes the main theme for Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
  • GLaDOS’ part in the song «Count to Three» references «Want You Gone», the ending song of Portal 2 and also sung by GLaDOS herself.
• Sanity Slippage: Professor Chalk in «A Songus Amongus» begins to lose his mind as everything, EVERYTHING reminds him of Among Us, from his lecture on the Boomerang Nebula and the Egyptian deity Medjed, to the Sinhala script and the Japanese kanji for «moon». Try as he might, he cannot escape the AMOGUS.
• Shout-Out:
  • There’s a lot in «Crushing Thirties»:
    • Johnny Gioeli’s previous works and other Sonic games are referenced and twisted into unfortunate irony:
    • The brief clip of Silver in therapy shows a room with multiple plush toys of Humongous Entertainment characters, along with one of Jazz Jackrabbit.
• Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: «Count to Three», which teases Valve’s apparent inability to release a game with «3» in its name, has Gabe Newell singing this at one point:

  I had it all but tried new things, true
  It didn’t get us very far
  Between controllers and machines, you
  Still picked a rusty old crowbar
  Nobody sees beyond my charming self
  A soul that’s never truly free
  So just for once, forget the summer sale
  And give it up for Half-Life… Alyx
• Take That!:
  • «It Just Works» is one against Todd Howard and Bethesda Game Studios, given their releases and business practices which didn’t bode really well.
  • Aside from the obvious pokes at Gabe Newell and Valve in «Count to Three», at one point Gabe sings how Valve may «end up on the other side» if he doesn’t do right by fans. The «other side» shown consists of Ubisoft, EA, and Activision.
  • While «Crushing Thirties» generally escapes most of the common (and fan-hated) points of mockery that Sonic usually gets, one still slips in subtley; while the opening of the music video shows every Sonic game from the original to Mania, Sonic 06 is noticably absent. Likewise, after Mania is a small segment for Sonic Forces, from which Classic Sonic storms off annoyed.
  • «A Songus Amongus» basically pokes fun at just how meme culture, ironic shitposting and overused jokes have become downright infuriating and ruined the fun of Among Us for everyone.
• Tough Act to Follow: In-Universe, it’s the reason Gabe stated as to why Valve’s never made any third follow-up to his games � he fears that anything less than outstanding will bring major scrutiny against him and Valve.

  The numbers are intimidating, it’s hard to give a fresh new start
  When everyone’s anticipating another masterpiece of art

• Villain Love Song: «Bowsette» is partly sung from the perspective of the titular character, proclaiming that all her evil schemes are attempts to get Mario’s affection, and that Princess Peach doesn’t really care about him, but she does.
• Villain Song: «It Just Works» is this for Todd Howard, here portrayed as a swanky con man who sings about how he doesn’t care about fan backlash and negative feedback, and that he’ll make the same games over and over, while putting little effort into them and overcharging for everything, all because people are gonna buy the games anyway and that «it just works» for him. It’s set to a catchy big-band tune, although halfway through, it switches to a very solemn chant, with a chorus of Bethesda fans singing about how they don’t want the same tricks all the time. But Howard totally ignores them, and the music picks back up as he goes back to singing about how his strategy works.
• Who’s Laughing Now?: Said verbatim by Todd Howard at the end of «It Just Works».

«Thank you and have fun!»