Mexican word of the day: Chicken Finger
I caught my wife cheating on me, I don’t need her no more, Chicken Finger herself
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Word of the day…Exhaustipated (adj)
Too tired to give a shit.
Spanish word of the day..
Muchos.
Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
The word of the day is contagious.
Teacher: «Who can give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?»
Little Johnny’s hand flies up and he exclaims: «Our neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious!»
«The word of the day is ‘contagious'» Said the teacher, «Who can use it in a sentence?»
Little Jenny stood up and said «My dad has a cold and said its contagious»
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said «Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious»
Happy with Billy’s response, the teacher asked for on…
Mexican word of the day: ice mocha
I am really thirsty right now because ice mocha Lotta weed.
Mexican word of the day: wheelchair
Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
Mexican word of the day: bishop.
Example: «last night my wife fell down, so I had to pick the bishop. «
Ghetto Word Of The Day:
Cologne «Ay, you think you cologne me a dollar or two?»
Word of the day: cheesehead
I asked my wife if the Packers are going to the Super Bowl, and cheesehead «no».
(Sorry. I was rooting for Green Bay. Gotta try to have *some* fun with the loss.)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Ms Murphy, a first grade Irish teacher, was teaching her students vocabulary, and the word of the day was «contagious» …
(For best effect, read dialogue in an Irish accent)
So she asked her class if anyone has heard the word used in a sentence before, and two students raised their hands, Billy O’Shea and Patrick Reilly. She called on her top student, Billy O’Shea, and asked Billy to use it in a sentence.
…
The Mexican word of the day..
The Mexican word of the day is cashew.
Like I’ll cashew outside, how bout dat?
My teacher put these onto our Word of the Day test in class today.
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch? Chicken Spocks!
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
What is a polygon? A dead parrot!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The word DEFINITELY…
One day in class, the teacher was teaching the kids the vocabulary word of the day.
«Ok class, the word for the day is definitely. Can anyone use it in a sentence?» she asked.
Straight A’s Sally in the front row raises her hand and says, «The tree is definitely green.»
«Sorry Sa…
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Delightful Fun Word Of The Day Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
When I was a kid, my parents would always say «Excuse my french» after a swear word…
…I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.
There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, Do you have any last words?
The m**… said, Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.
So, I hadn’t showered for a week by the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I’d cut her apart while she was still alive, and she told me, ‘At least cut my nose off first.’
Everyone there burst out laughing. The hangman said, That joke was about something terrible! Why was it so funny?
Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny, said the m**…. After all, good comedy is all about execution.
Two priests are out driving one day..
when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver
«Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters»
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;
«Alright officer, we’ll do it»
When I was a kid my mom used to say » Perdon my French» when she said any bad word.
I’ll never forget the day in school when my teacher ask if could speak French.
Should we create an English word for the ‘day after tomorrow’?
Or would that be too forward thinking?
A German boy never uttered a single word growing up.
Then ,one day, aged 5, while sitting at breakfast, he looked up from his plate and said in perfect German — ‘The toast is burnt’…to which the family were amazed at. ‘You can speak, that’s amazing, why have you never spoken until now?’
He replied: ‘There was nothing wrong until now’
When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying ‘Excuse my French’.
I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked «Does anyone know any French?»
A desert island with six women
A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man’s first words were, «Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?»
‘Oh f*c**…,’ thinks the man, ‘there goes Mondays.’
In honour of my first cake day, here’s a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn’t want it, the buyer doesn’t use it and the user doesn’t see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn’t move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
A German baby’s parents are concerned that he never speaks…
It has gotten to the point where he is five years old and has said not a word, so his parents take him to the doctor. Everything’s fine, he’s healthy, not messed in the head. So then one day the German baby is having some apfelstrudel when he says «mother, zis strudel is quite tepid.» The parents are amazed! «Wolfgang, you’ve finally spoken after all these years! What’s happened?»
«Up until now, everyzing has been satisfactory.»
My wife hasn’t said a word to me in 6 days.
What’s even better is, she thinks it’s punishment.
You can explore word of the day words reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean word of the day adverb dad jokes. There are also word of the day puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A magician gets himself a parrot for his act
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. «it’s under his hat, it’s up his sleeve, his assistant has it.»
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, «Alright, I give up. Where’s the boat?»
There’s 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .
Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
«The word of the day is ‘contagious'» Said the teacher, «Who can use it in a sentence?»
Little Jenny stood up and said «My dad has a cold and said its contagious»
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said «Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious»
Happy with Billy’s response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.
Little Johnny stood up…
«Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious.»
One day, a lawyer finds a genie’s lamp.
The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.
«You have three wishes,» the genie says. «The only rule is that you can’t wish for more wishes.»
After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, «I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Next, I wish your initial injunction pertained only to the concept of wishing paired with the particular word *wish* as opposed to the concept itself, which you were merely signifying with that word. Aaaaand I splork for infinite splorks.»
The genie sighs and says, «This is why nobody likes lawyers.»
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in a way I can’t put into words
thank you for making my day, u/happy_guy23
A man walks in to a bar
And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay — so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea — every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, l**… his eyebrows..
My friend and I started replacing the word ‘in’ with ‘inside’.
For example, if we wanted to say, «it’s in the fridge», we’d instead say «it’s inside the fridge».
One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying «inside» instead of «in».
I responded,
«it’s an inside joke».
Word joke
A man had 4 sons, and named them Bronson, Kenneth, Conrad and Dominic.
One day, they decided to ask their father if his choice of names meant anything.
He replied, «Only the first three letters of each.»
In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.
— Susan?
— I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!
— Very good. What about you, Johnny?
— Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it’s gonna take the contagious!
I saw a rock the other day that has been painted on..
The words: Turn me Over ——>
I turn the rock over then it says:
«You just took orders from a rock
Are you s**…?»
The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest…
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don’t exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release «The rabbit had it coming.»
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement «I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!» the bear disappears shortly after…
Little Johnny at it again…
Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.
After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.
Johnny’s answer was: «Our house is very small Miss. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, ‘Johnny are you sleeping?’ Then I say ‘No’ and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.»
So the teacher says to him, «Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don’t say a word».
The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.
«My goodness Johnny, another black eye? What happened?»
Johnny explains: «Miss, Dad asked me again, ‘Johnny are you sleeping?…. and I shut up and kept very still. Then my dad and my mum started moving {you know} at the same time. Mum was breathing heavy and k**… her legs all over the place…..
Then my dad asks me mum: ‘Are you coming?’ Then my mum says, ‘Yes I’m coming, are you coming too?’ and my dad answered ‘Yes’.
They don’t usually go anywhere without me, so i said ‘Wait for me…»
The word of the day is «legs»
Wanna come over and spread the word?
I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am!
To the English teacher that stole my calendar…
Your days are numbered. Mark my words.
My boyfriend’s dad told us that back in his day, before required s**… misconduct training…
Harass was two words
I got a call from my brother the other day…
I found out he was diagnosed with an intense fear of wanting to have s**… with other men; Homonymphobia. Which really freaked me out because I have a fear of words that sound the same but mean different things.
Harassment.
So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, «Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me»
So I was teaching my brother English…
I told him to skip the first «H» when reading or pronouncing words (e.g. honour, hour, honest etc.) Later that day I told him to heat my lunch in the microwave… let’s just say I didn’t have any lunch.
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I’ll get me a b**…, and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have s**… with her 3 times a day.
The teacher was lost for words and didn’t know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.
Marie replied: «I’d like to be Johnny’s b**…!!»
People often misuse the word «chivalry.»
I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn’t open a door for a women behind me. «I guess chivlary is dead,» she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I’m the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.
Nescafe and the Pope
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
«Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from
‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily
coffee.»
The Pope responds, «That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed.»
«Well,» said the Nescafe man, «we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.»
«My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed.»
The Nescafe guy says, «Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…. We will
donate $500 million — that’s half a billion dollars — to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give
us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’
Please consider it.»
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
«There is some good news,» he announces, «and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'»
«And the bad news, your Holiness?» asks a Cardinal.
«We’re losing the Wonder-Bread account.»
Politicians go on a vacation
Politicians go on a vacation by bus.
The bus driver gets distracted by the beautiful scenery and drives off a cliff next to a farm.
The following day the police question the farmer:
— Did you not find any victims?
— Actually, I did.
— And where are they?
— Well, I buried them.
— Every politician died?!
— Some of them said they didn’t, but I don’t believe a word of what they say anymore…
PS: English is my second language so apologies for mistakes.
We may not be able to call black people the N-word
But we can say things like «hey dad» and «have a nice day officer.»
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joke
(noun, verb)
past tense: joked
LISTEN
That’s a funny joke.
A joke is a short and funny story that you tell someone to make them laugh.
- He likes telling jokes to his colleagues.
A joke is something ridiculous that happens, or someone ridiculous.
- That politician is a joke.
- The exam was a joke. We didn’t practice those problems in class.
When nobody pays attention to something or nobody takes it seriously, we can say that that thing is a joke.
- That law is a joke and nobody respects it.
If someone is joking, it means that they say something in a fun and playful way.
- He was only joking; it was not serious.
Common uses
When someone say, “No joke,” they mean ‘it is something serious.’ For example: “That hurricane was no joke.”
Related words
A joker is ‘a playing card that may be used as a wild card (=any other card) in many card games.’
In pop culture
Watch Jack Nicholson play the Joker in this 1989 version of Batman. Many other actors have played that role in other films. Who is your favorite Joker?
There are other meanings of joke.
Word of the Day is released Monday through Friday.
December 17, 2021
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You can help confirm this entry by contributing facts, media, and other evidence of notability and mutation.
About
Don Cheadle’s Word of the Day are iFunny and Twitter gimmick accounts that post actor Don Cheadle’s Wikipedia photograph captioned with a different word every day. Originally an iFunny account launched in 2019 that went later defunct, the gimmick was picked up by a Twitter account launched in July 2020. The joke was spawned by a combination of factors, most notably by a viral 2017 tweet by Cheadle in which he used the phrase «desiccated, duplicitous harridan.»
History
On October 11th, 2017, actor Don Cheadle quote retweeted[1] a post by the Senior Counselor to Donald Trump’s Kellyanne Conway, calling her a «desiccated, duplicitous harridan» (original tweet no longer available; screenshot shown below). The tweet received over 2,900 retweets and 9,800 likes prior to being deleted.
In replies, a number of Twitter users joked about Don Cheadle’s using obscure words in his tweet. On that day, Twitter[2] user @Squid25 made a tweet in which he compared Don Cheadle’s tweet with posts made by «word of the day» accounts on social media (shown below, left). On October 12th, Twitter[3] user @cosler compared Don Cheadle’s tweet against Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day page. Both tweets remained unnoticed.
On July 20th, 2018, Twitter[4] user @tresdesser tweeted about Don Cheadle’s photo on Wikipedia, writing that they couldn’t stop laughing at it. The tweet received over 20 retweets and 110 likes. On March 12th, 2019, Twitter[5] user @jamieloftusHELP made another tweet about Don Cheadle’s Wikipedia photo, with their tweet gaining over 2,500 retweets and 29,500 likes.
Approximately in July or early August 2019, the now-deleted iFunny gimmick account Don Cheadle Word Of The Day was created, making posts combining the Wikipedia photograph of the actor with a different word every day. The remaining evidence of the account’s activity is an August 8th, 2019, GIF caption by iFunny[6] user cumpiss (shown below, left), several reposts of the image macros by Twitter[7][8][9] user @HamGrabs made between September 7th and 16th that year (shown below, center and right) and witness accounts.
While the exact date when the original account was removed is unknown, starting in September 2019 several copycat accounts were created on iFunny,[10][11] including DonCheadleWordofTheDay[12] (example posts shown below, left, center and right). As of May 7th, 2021, DonCheadleWordofTheDay, launched on October 31st, 2020, is the most popular active copycat of the original account on the iFunny app with over 1,100 subscribers.
In late April 2020, a post presumably made by the original iFunny account captioned «Don Cheadle word of the day: agony» went viral with multiple reposts (shown below, left).[13][14] On July 18th, 2020, Twitter[15] gimmick account Don Cheadle Word Of The Day (@CheadleWOTD) was created, recreating the «agony» post as its first tweet (shown below, center).[16] On October 5th, 2020, the account posted its first viral tweet[17] that received over 900 retweets and nearly 4,000 likes, with the macro captioned «pain» (shown below, right).
Features
Both iFunny and Twitter gimmick accounts post image macros combining the 2011 photograph of actor Don Cheadle used in his Wikipedia entry (with exceptions) with a caption containing a new word every day.
Highlights
Starting in January 2021, a number of tweets made by @CheadleWOTD went viral, particularly those referencing current events. For example, on January 8th, @CheadleWORD[18] featured «suspended» as its word of the day, referencing the suspension of the United States President Donald Trump from social media. The tweet received over 590 retweets and 3,900 likes (shown below, left).
On May 4th, 2021, @CheadleWOTD[19] held a user poll in an attempt to figure out a solution for Twitter automatically selecting the bottom part of the images for tweet thumbnails, therefore spoiling the memes before they are opened. On May 5th, Twitter made an update that changed the relevant algorithm,[20] with the issue resolving itself. On May 5th, Twitter[21] user @heimdallstan made a tweet highlighting the peculiarity of the situation (shown below, right).
Traffic
As of May 7th, 2021, the Twitter gimmick account had over 92,800 followers. iFunny account DonCheadleWordofTheDay, the most popular copycat of the original iFunny account, had over 1,100 subscribers.
Sex 2
Sex 2 refers to a series of memes revolving around an imagined sequel to sex. Stemming from a joke which went viral in October 2017, in November 2019 Sex 2 regained popularity in /r/okbuddyretard subreddit as a certain highly-anticipated media product developed by actor Don Cheadle.
Search Interest
External References
An extremely stupid word (i.e. Hungs, Masturbathe, Emotionap, etc.), that is almost certainly made up on the spot, that UD randomly puts on the front page and emails to all of its subscribers for no good reason at all. These «definitions» usually tend to be a pun or play on words and really don’t make much sense.
Every goddamn Word Of The Day that has ever existed on this site since 2004 has been so mind-numbingly stupid that I feel that I’ve lost at least 40 IQ points.
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