The number one complaint of advice givers is people don’t listen.
If you enjoy giving advice, chill out.
You might be qualified to give advice if you’re reluctant to give it.
I’ve never met a great advice giver.
10 words of advice for advice givers:
- Connect with their goals. Never share a single word of advice until you’re completely clear on their goals.
- Who do they aspire to be? Aspiration – theirs, not yours – shapes advice.
- What are they trying to accomplish?
- Say things they need to hear, not what you need to say.
- The goal of advice is helping people become their best, not your best.
- Monitor your emotion.
- Frustration suggests a desire to control. People don’t enjoy feeling controlled.
- Relax and breathe.
- Slow the rate of your speech.
- Lower the volume of your voice.
- Focus on what frustrates them, not you. Poor advice givers are motivated by their own agenda.
- Watch for defensiveness. When people become defensive they’re explaining why things should stay the same. Conversations become adversarial. Defensiveness is resistance.
- Share what works more than what’s wrong.
- Honor their choice. People enjoy making choices and resist being told what to do.
- Make it plural. Suggest option(s) that they might choose. (See #6.)
- Wait to be asked. Unrequested advice feels like criticism. A distant second to waiting to be asked is asking permission. “Do you mind if I offer a suggestion?”
- Affirm effective behaviors. “When you …, it moves you toward your goal. If you tried …, it might take you even further.”
- Don’t attach to specific outcomes.
Warning: “Let me give you some advice,” is often another way of complaining.
The advice we love is the advice we request, even that is iffy.
What advice do you have for giving advice?
What are great advice givers like?
Post navigation
I’ve noticed a common theme carries across most of the advice I’ve given to entrepreneurs lately, and that’s to s-i-m-p-l-i-f-y. For example:
1. Simplify your vision. If you find yourself rambling for minutes on end, it’s time to reign in your mission statement. Nobody will remember a 2 or 3 paragraph description, but they will remember a simple statement that’s been distilled down to one powerful sentence.
2. Simplify your pitch deck. Your story is so much more powerful and focused if you can keep your fundraising presentation to 6-8 slides. As Fred Wilson said, “You can explain your business in mind numbing detail or you can inspire an investor and let them imagine. Guess what works better?” If necessary, you can include other slides as an Appendix to reference, but work on telling your story in 8 slides or less.
3. Simplify your UI.
“A modern paradox is that it’s simpler to create complex interfaces because it’s so complex to simplify them.” (Pär Almqvist)
The best interface designs are clean, simple, and get out of the user’s way. All elements are necessary and succinct. Taking away features can be so much harder than adding features, but subtracting often creates the most value for your users.
4. Simplify your metrics. There are metrics and graphs these days to tell you everything from your employees’ favorite break time snacks to how many users in Asia log-on on Tuesdays. Amidst all the detail, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters. Pare down your metrics overload to focus on the three most important metrics that reflect what’s going on right now in your business.
5. Simplify your value proposition: You cannot be all things to all people and your company will never achieve greatness if it’s struggling to be okay in 10 different markets. Focus on your biggest opportunity – the one that offers the most differentiated value proposition and meets the largest potential market – and forget the rest.
This list could go on and on, touching every aspect of your life. Yet, while we can all agree with the premise that ‘less is more,’ it’s so hard to simplify in real life. Simplifying your vision, pitch deck, UI, metrics, value prop, or anything else means taking things away. You need to make hard decisions about what to cut. It’s tough to know when to do it. It’s even tougher to know if you made the right decision.
While it can be particularly difficult to emotionally let go of something you once thought was going to be instrumental to your business, the end result is very beautiful. That’s why we love Apple products. That’s why we remember Facebook’s mission of “making the world more open and connected.” And that’s why investors get inspired by a pitch that tells a clear story in very few words.
My advice…start thinking about simplifying your startup.
Discussion on Hacker News: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5319880
We’ve searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Word Of Advice. Here they are! All 200 of them:
“
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
”
”
Bill Cosby
“
If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.
”
”
Greg Behrendt
“
The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
”
”
Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements)
“
Be silent and safe — silence never betrays you;
Be true to your word and your work and your friend;
Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end.
”
”
John Boyle O’Reilly (Life of John Boyle O’Reilly)
“
Don’t say it was delightful; make us say delightful when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers Please will you do the job for me.
”
”
C.S. Lewis
“
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
”
”
Wendell Johnson
“
If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I’d add, all the time.
”
”
Randy Pausch
“
I distrust any advice that contains the words ‘ought’ or ‘should’.
”
”
Tamora Pierce
“
Life is like a game of chess.
To win you have to make a move.
Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHT
and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are
acculated along the way.
We become each and every piece within the game called life!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
A woman laughing is a woman conquered.
”
”
Napoléon Bonaparte (In the Words of Napoleon: A Collection of Quotations of Napoleon Bonaparte)
“
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
”
”
Rudyard Kipling (If: A Father’s Advice to His Son)
“
So okay― there you are in your room with the shade down and the door shut and the plug pulled out of the base of the telephone. You’ve blown up your TV and committed yourself to a thousand words a day, come hell or high water. Now comes the big question: What are you going to write about? And the equally big answer: Anything you damn well want.
”
”
Stephen King (On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft)
“
If he can’t handle you at your worst then he does not deserve you at your best. Real love means seeing beyond the words spoken out of pain, and instead seeing a person’s soul.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder (300 Questions LDS Couples Should Ask Before Marriage)
“
Life is like a sandwich!
Birth as one slice,
and death as the other.
What you put in-between
the slices is up to you.
Is your sandwich tasty or sour?
Allan Rufus.org
”
”
Allan Rufus
“
No matter how many people give me advice, I am going to do what my heart tells me to do
”
”
Lana Del Rey
“
I’ve always followed my father’s advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.
”
”
John Wayne
“
Making others happy, through kindness of speech and sincerity of right advice, is a sign of true greatness. To hurt another soul by sarcastic words, looks, or suggestions, is despicable.
”
”
Paramahansa Yogananda (Where There is Light: Insight and Inspiration for Meeting Life’s Challenges)
“
A word of advice, though. This won’t be the last time you have to deal with something in life that throws you off your game. In future courses, as well as in the real world—such as it is—professors and employers won’t always be accommodating. We all have to—what’s my daughter’s terminology—suck it up and deal?
”
”
Tammara Webber (Easy (Contours of the Heart, #1))
“
So release yourself from that. Don’t be strategic or coy. Strategic and coy are for jackasses. Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word ‘love’ to the people you love so when it matters the most to say it, you will.
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
If you walk on sunlight, bathe in moonlight, breathe in a golden air and exhale a Midas’ touch; mark my words, those who exist in the shadows will try to pull you into the darkness with them. The last thing that they want is for you to see the wonder of your life because they can’t see theirs.
”
”
C. JoyBell C.
“
Make your lives a masterpiece, you only get one canvas.
”
”
E.A. Bucchianeri (Brushstrokes of a Gadfly, (Gadfly Saga, #1))
“
To my babies,
Merry Christmas. I’m sorry if these letters have caught you both by surprise. There is just so much more I have to say. I know you thought I was done giving advice, but I couldn’t leave without reiterating a few things in writing. You may not relate to these things now, but someday you will. I wasn’t able to be around forever, but I hope that my words can be.
-Don’t stop making basagna. Basagna is good. Wait until a day when there is no bad news, and bake a damn basagna.
-Find a balance between head and heart. Hopefully you’ve found that Lake, and you can help Kel sort it out when he gets to that point.
-Push your boundaries, that’s what they’re there for.
-I’m stealing this snippet from your favorite band, Lake. «Always remember there is nothing worth sharing, like the love that let us share our name.»
-Don’t take life too seriously. Punch it in the face when it needs a good hit. Laugh at it.
-And Laugh a lot. Never go a day without laughing at least once.
-Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.
-Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passions. If you don’t have questions, you’ll never find answers.
-Be accepting. Of everything. People’s differences, their similarities, their choices, their personalities. Sometimes it takes a variety to make a good collection. The same goes for people.
-Choose your battles, but don’t choose very many.
-Keep an open mind; it’s the only way new things can get in.
-And last but not least, not the tiniest bit least. Never regret.
Thank you both for giving me the best years of my life.
Especially the last one.
Love,
Mom
”
”
Colleen Hoover (Slammed (Slammed, #1))
“
Can I give you a word of advice?» Lucy asked.
«I suppose so.»
«You have a great French accent. If a guy asks you to wear a French maid’s costume, kick him in the shin.»
«Especially if it’s one of my brothers» Solange agreed.
”
”
Alyxandra Harvey (Blood Feud (Drake Chronicles, #2))
“
Books. They are lined up on shelves or stacked on a table. There they are wrapped up in their jackets, lines of neat print on nicely bound pages. They look like such orderly, static things. Then you, the reader come along. You open the book jacket, and it can be like opening the gates to an unknown city, or opening the lid of a treasure chest. You read the first word and you’re off on a journey of exploration and discovery.
”
”
David Almond
“
If you swim effortlessly in the deep oceans, ride the waves to and from the shore, if you can breathe under water and dine on the deep treasures of the seas; mark my words, those who dwell on the rocks carrying nets will try to reel you into their catch. The last thing they want is for you to thrive in your habitat because they stand in their atmosphere where they beg and gasp for some air.
”
”
C. JoyBell C.
“
My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant’s bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with a penetrating stare.
Then he spoke great words of wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
«To eat these things,» said my uncle,
«You must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what’s solid,
but you must spit out the air!»
And as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,
that’s darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.
”
”
Dr. Seuss
“
Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.
”
”
Anthon St. Maarten
“
To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against or one might believe that you support things you really do not.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
A word of advice, Will Henry. When a person of the female gender says she wants to show you something, run the other way. The odds are it is not something you wish to see.
”
”
Rick Yancey (The Curse of the Wendigo (The Monstrumologist, #2))
“
If you don’t mind a word of advice, one never asks a lady to set her own price. If you have to ask, the answer will always be more than you can afford.
”
”
Eloisa James (A Kiss at Midnight (Fairy Tales, #1))
“
If you are on social media, and you are not learning, not laughing, not being inspired or not networking, then you are using it wrong.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Let me give you a word of advice. A loyalty that holds fast will become a blade, and will some day pierce those you hold dear. Open both eyes wide. That is, if you… don’t want to end up like me.
”
”
Jun Mochizuki
“
We’ve no use for intellectuals in this outfit. What we need is chimpanzees. Let me give you a word of advice: never say a word to us about being intelligent. We will think for you, my friend. Don’t forget it.
”
”
Louis-Ferdinand Céline (Journey to the End of the Night)
“
I have one outstanding trait in my character, which must strike anyone who knows me for any length of time, and that is my knowledge of myself. I can watch myself and my actions, just like an outsider. The Anne of every day I can face entirely without prejudice, without making excuses for her, and watch what’s good and what’s bad about her. This ‘self-consciousness’ haunts me, and every time I open my mouth I know as soon as I’ve spoken whether ‘that ought to have been different’ or ‘that was right as it was.’ There are so many things about myself that I condemn; I couldn’t begin to name them all. I understand more and more how true Daddy’s words were when he said: ‘All children must look after their own upbringing.’ Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.
”
”
Anne Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)
“
Why do you give me good advice?»
asked Laurent.
Isn’t that why you brought me with
you? Instead of speaking those words
aloud, Damen said, «Why don’t you take
any of it?
”
”
C.S. Pacat (Captive Prince: Volume Two (Captive Prince, #2))
“
Hard work does not go unnoticed,
and someday the rewards will follow
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
How true Daddy’s words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.
”
”
Anne Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)
“
This is the problem with letting your enemies live.”
“They’re my parents.”
“Your point?” Kaz settled his cane more firmly in his grip and nodded to the cable operator, ready to descend. “A word of advice, from one bastard to another: Sometimes it’s best to let the demon have its day.
”
”
Leigh Bardugo (Rule of Wolves (King of Scars, #2))
“
Desperate times call for desperate measures. That’s a saying, or a bit of advice, or a catchprase, or a string of words used to confuse people less intelligent than you. In any case, it means: Life is tough, so you’d better fight hard-or something like that.
”
”
Obert Skye (Leven Thumps and the Whispered Secret (Leven Thumps, #2))
“
Val: Why do you go out there?
Sandra: Because dead people give such good advice.
Val: What advice do they give?
Sandra: Just one word- live!
”
”
Tennessee Williams (Battle of Angels)
“
Talk is free but the wise man chooses when to spend his words.
”
”
Neil Gaiman (Odd and the Frost Giants)
“
Word of advice. These have a kick, so don’t suck too hard—”
Holy hypoxia, Batman.
”
”
J.R. Ward (Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #10))
“
The way to wealth is as plain as the way to market. It depends chiefly on two words, industry and frugality: that is, waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both. Without industry and frugality nothing will do, and with them everything.
”
”
Benjamin Franklin
“
And stop talking in that puffed-up way they taught you. Words aren’t brains, you know.
”
”
Deepak Chopra (The Return of Merlin)
“
Before this generation lose the wisdom, one advice — read books.
”
”
Amit Kalantri (Wealth of Words)
“
Percy shrugged. “Okay. But a word of advice: when you see Apollo, don’t mention haiku.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
“
Do you want some words of advice, Tess?”
I glanced at Adam’s profile as he sipped.
“Don’t give your heart away too easily.” He turned to me. “Make him earn it.
”
”
C.J. Duggan (The Boys of Summer (Summer, #1))
“
A word of advice, my sweet Emmett — mourn the losses because they are many. But celebrate the victories because they are few.
”
”
Debbie Novotny
“
Let me give you some free advice. She’s a runner for sure- she’ll run away every time without saying a word. But here’s the thing- you are not a runner. And deep down, I don’t think Norah wants to run, either. She’s just feels like she has to. Partly because she’s a tiresome spoiled-brat smartass with no fashion sense. And partly because she’s a fucking human being.
”
”
David Levithan (Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist)
“
Withholding love distorts reality. It makes the people who do the withholding ugly and small-hearted. It makes the people from whom things are withheld crazy and desperate and incapable of knowing what they actually feel.
So release yourself from that. Don’t be strategic or coy. Strategic and coy are for jackasses. Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word «love» to the people you love so when it matters the most to say it, you will.
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
Every beginner possesses a great potential to be an expert in his or her chosen field.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
You can only write by putting words on a paper one at a time.
”
”
Sandra Brown
“
A word of advice, if I may? Explosions are an excellent way to kill the undead. But you should probably take a few steps back first, kid.
”
”
Heather Brewer (First Kill (The Slayer Chronicles, #1))
“
The most incredible architecture
Is the architecture of Self,
which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.
With every in breathe
you are adding to your life
and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life.
Every breathe is a re-birth.
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
Unless we take that first step into the unknown, we will never know our own potential!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
Note and Quote to Self – What you think, say and do!
Your life mainly consists of 3 things!
What you think,
What you say and
What you do!
So always be very conscious of what you are co-creating!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
A word of advice,” he says, as I stop in his office to say goodbye. “When you’re in love with a woman, you shouldn’t get involved with other women.”
“Noted,” I say. “Though, I would like to offer that she is probably sleeping with another man as we speak.
”
”
Tarryn Fisher (Thief (Love Me with Lies, #3))
“
Any day above ground is a good day. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Learn to write by doing it. Read widely and wisely. Increase your word power. Find your own individual voice though practicing constantly. Go through the world with your eyes and ears open and learn to express that experience in words.
”
”
P.D. James (Advice to Writers: A Compendium of Quotes, Anecdotes, and Writerly Wisdom from a Dazzling Array of Literary Lights)
“
Poetry is neither saying whatever crosses your mind, nor juxtaposing some fancy words in a line.
Poetry is distilling your soul into a meaningful rhyme.
”
”
Khan Eagle (The Songs of Eagles: Poetry by Eagle Soul Man)
“
NOTE TO SELF – BOOMERANG EFFECT
My words, thoughts and deeds have
a boomerang effect.
So be-careful what you send out!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
Quotes and notes to self – Find your inner peace!
Don’t
be caught up in your outer world.
Pay
greater attention to your inner world
”
”
Allan Rufus
“
Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth, your attitude and your day. Don’t give anyone that much power over your life.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
You’re a fuckin’ parasite.» I could never become a vampire. Filthy leeches.
«Words still hurt, Chase. Besides, you should be thanking me. My advice about the Valkyrie clearly worked. And speaking of females, if I call you by one’s name while my fangs are plunged deep in your neck, just run with it.
”
”
Kresley Cole (Dreams of a Dark Warrior (Immortals After Dark, #10))
“
Bingo pup. It’s a lesson best learned early. They’re all afraid of us.» He strolled over to Derek. «You’re trying to be a good kid, aren’t you? You think that’ll show them they’re wrong. So how’d that working out for you? Guess what? They don’t care. To them, you’re a monster, and nothing you do—or don’t do—will change their minds. My advice? Give ’em what they want. It’s a short, brutal life.» He smiled. «Live it up.»
Derek stared straight ahead, patiently waiting.
«He can’t hear a word I’m saying, can he?» Liam said.
«Nope.
”
”
Kelley Armstrong (The Reckoning (Darkest Powers, #3))
“
The possibility of the dream gives strength.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
The true writer, the born writer, will scribble words on scraps of litter, the back of a bus tickets, on the wall of a cell.
”
”
David Nicholls (One Day)
“
No writing is wasted. Did you know that sourdough from San Francisco is leavened partly by a bacteria called lactobacillus sanfrancisensis? It is native to the soil there, and does not do well elsewhere. But any kitchen can become an ecosystem. If you bake a lot, your kitchen will become a happy home to wild yeasts, and all your bread will taste better. Even a failed loaf is not wasted. Likewise, cheese makers wash the dairy floor with whey. Tomato gardeners compost with rotten tomatoes. No writing is wasted: the words you can’t put in your book can wash the floor, live in the soil, lurk around in the air. They will make the next words better.
”
”
Erin Bow
“
Advice for New Knitters
When choosing a pattern, look for ones that have words such as «simple», «basic», and «easy». If you see the words «intriguing», «challenging», or «intricate», look elsewhere.
If you happen across a pattern that says «heirloom», slowly put down the pattern and back away.
«Heirloom» is knitting code for «This pattern is so difficult that you would consider death a relief».
”
”
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (At Knit’s End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much)
“
I do not take advice or listen to the words of hypocrites or beings that are not self-realized. It’s nothing personal. I am simply no fan of beings that try to sound wise, while trying to mask their imbecility.
”
”
Lionel Suggs
“
In other words, market research is the swiss knife for the survival of any business.
”
”
Pooja Agnihotri (17 Reasons Why Businesses Fail :Unscrew Yourself From Business Failure)
“
Be a lady? Forget it. Ladies don’t last a day in the real word. No one’s a lady anymore. Why do you think we get our claws polished?
”
”
Crystal Woods (Write like no one is reading 2)
“
A word of friendly advice could have saved him, but dear me, I was too busy watching him unravel to think of it until it was far too late.
”
”
Jonathan Stroud (The Amulet of Samarkand (Bartimaeus, #1))
“
The only advice, indeed, that one person can give another about reading is to take no advice, to follow your own instincts, to use your own reason, to come to your own conclusions. If this is agreed between us, then I feel at liberty to put forward a few ideas and suggestions because you will not allow them to fetter that independence which is the most important quality that a reader can possess. After all, what laws can be laid down about books? The battle of Waterloo was certainly fought on a certain day; but is Hamlet a better play than Lear? Nobody can say. Each must decide that question for himself. To admit authorities, however heavily furred and gowned, into our libraries and let them tell us how to read, what to read, what value to place upon what we read, is to destroy the spirit of freedom which is the breath of those sanctuaries. Everywhere else we may be bound by laws and conventions-there we have none.
”
”
Virginia Woolf (The Second Common Reader)
“
Somewhere, somebody is looking for someone exactly like you.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
When you love someone, show them in words AND deeds. To hear you’re loved is nice but to feel loved is incredible.
”
”
Nina Guilbeau
“
You are a young man,» she said, nodding. «Take a word of advice, even from three foot nothing. Try not to associate bodily defects with mental, my good friend, except for a solid reason.
”
”
Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)
“
Enlightenment is the Goal — Love is the Game — Taking steps are the rules! — Allan Rufus
”
”
Allan Rufus
“
Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but, most of all, endurance.
”
”
James Baldwin
“
These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I’m going to use the name of a famous American poet:
‘You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!’
‘Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E. Cummings, but I think I’m gonna pass.’
‘You Robert Frost-ing Nikki Giovanni! Get a life, nerd. You’re a virgin.’
‘Hey bro, you need to go outside and get some fresh air into you. Or a girlfriend.’
I need to get a girlfriend into me? I think that shows a fundamental lack of comprehension about how babies are made.
”
”
John Green
“
Note to Self – Thoughts design my energy!
My
thoughts
WILL
design the energy
that moves
me!
”
”
Allan Rufus
“
Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
The books I liked became a Bible from which I drew advice and support; I copied out long passages from them; I memorized new canticles and new litanies, psalms, proverbs, and prophecies, and I sanctified every incident in my life by the recital of these sacred texts. My emotions, my tears, and my hopes were no less sincere on account of that; the words and the cadences, the lines and the verses were not aids to make believe: but they rescued from silent oblivion all those intimate adventures of the spirit that I couldn’t speak to anyone about; they created a kind of communion between myself and those twin souls which existed somewhere out of reach; instead of living out my small private existence, I was participating in a great spiritual epic.
”
”
Simone de Beauvoir (Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter)
“
Never offer advice just to appear concerned.
”
”
Jack Gardner (Words Are Not Things)
“
My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love.
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
Word of advice, kid. This may be the Wild West down here, but you ain’t a cowboy. You’re not even a boy in a cowboy suit.
”
”
Caitlin Kittredge (The Iron Thorn (Iron Codex, #1))
“
One last word of advice, though, Mr. Okada, though you may not want to hear this. There are things in this world it is better not to know about. Of course, those are the very things that people most want to know about. It’s strange.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle)
“
Today, spend a little time cultivating relationships offline. Never forget that everybody isn’t on social media.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Never refuse any who ask you for help; if your pockets are empty, give them hope. Your every action must be born of kindness, your every word spoken with love. Live as God would have you live, and others will be inspired to do the same.
”
”
Immaculée Ilibagiza (Our Lady of Kibeho: Mary Speaks to the World from the Heart of Africa)
“
Your father says a wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountaintop.
”
”
Deborah Harkness (Shadow of Night (All Souls, #2))
“
Life is really quite simple: love. The more we complicate this, the further we get from the truth.
”
”
Todd Perelmuter (Spiritual Words to Live by : 81 Daily Wisdoms and Meditations to Transform Your Life)
“
Writers often torture themselves trying to get the words right. Sometimes you must lower your expectations and just finish it.
”
”
Don Roff
“
Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people,
”
”
Tucker Max (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (Tucker Max, #1))
“
Every morning, look in the mirror and affirm positive words into your life.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
The circumstances surrounding your birth is not as important as the opportunity to live life.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
Henry watched her go. And then he looked down at the sword he was carrying. When it came to weapons, he thought sadly, sometimes words could be just as hurtful, and just as forbidden.
”
”
Violet Haberdasher (The Secret Prince (Knightley Academy, #2))
“
I’ve learned that most problems aren’t rocket science, but when they are rocket science, you should ask a rocket scientist. In other words, I don’t know everything, so I’ve learned to seek advice and counsel and to listen to experts.
”
”
Scott Kelly (Endurance: A Year in Space, A Lifetime of Discovery)
“
Then be wise about it. There are two kinds of important men, Shallan. There are those who, when the boulder of time rolls toward them, stand up in front of it and hold out their hands. All their lives, they’ve been told how great they are. They assume the word itself will bend to their whims as their nurse did when fetching them a fresh cup of milk.
Those men end up squished.
Other men stand to the side when the boulder of time passes, but are quick to say, ‘See what I did! I made the boulder roll there. Don’t make me do it again!’
These men end up getting everyone else squished.»
«Is there not a third type of person?»
«There is, but they are oh so rare. These know they can’t stop the boulder. So they walk beside it, study it, and bide their time. Then they shove it-ever so slightly- to create a deviation in its path.
These are the men who actually change the world. And they terrify me. For men never see as far as they think they do.
”
”
Brandon Sanderson (Oathbringer (The Stormlight Archive, #3))
“
A rude man tells a women to stop talking too much because she is making noise. A polite man will tell this same woman that she looks so beautiful when her lip are closed. Compare and choose one! Speak politely; but be sure you get to where you are going with your words.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor
“
Freedom of Speech doesn’t justify online bullying. Words have power, be careful how you use them.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
If you can change the way you think in time you will notice a change in your heart and also a change in your life and the way you see things.
”
”
The Prolific Penman (Real Expression’s of Words Never Heard the Poet, the Man, the Idea)
“
You have to prepare physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to conquer any mountain.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
Friends can become enemies, and enemies can become friends. Ego and pride can turn what is good into bad, and kind words can turn what is bad into something good.
”
”
Suzy Kassem (Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem)
“
We must be conscious of this; one day, the life we have, will be gone.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
Erase from your vocabulary the word “someday.” Do not save things for “special occasions.” Take into account the fact that every day is special. Every day is a gift that we must appreciate and be thankful for. Wear your attractive clothes, wear your nice perfume, use your fine silverware and dishes, and drink from your expensive crystal glasses … just because. Live every day to the fullest and savor every minute of it.
”
”
Rodolfo Costa (Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes)
“
People can have the best of intentions when they tell their loved ones how they should be living their lives. But often times, when we are in struggle, we are seeking to be supported, not solved.
”
”
Jaeda DeWalt
“
Life is the only thing which can never be replaced when lost.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
What you post online speaks VOLUME about who you really are. POST with intention. REPOST with caution.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
You have to be a responsible adult and support yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.
”
”
Susane Colasanti (Take Me There)
“
It was said that [Vetinari] would tolerate absolutely anything apart from anything that threatened the city*… [Footnote] And mime artists. It was a strange aversion, but there you are. Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who tried to ply their art anywhere within Ankh’s crumbling walls would very quickly find themselves in a a scorpion pit, on one wall of which was painted the advice: Learn The Words.
”
”
Terry Pratchett (Guards! Guards! (Discworld, #8; City Watch, #1))
“
Ladies! I encourage you NOT to be so easily flattered by what a man has. Be flattered by his strength, courage, integrity, and character as a man. Be impressed by his ability to be honest, faithful, loving, and respectful to you. Be impressed because he can communicate and openly express his feelings. Be impressed because he’s got confidence, direction, and purpose in his life. Be impressed because he’s a quality man, NOT a fine man. Real Talk!
”
”
Stephanie Lahart
“
Understanding impermanence is about enjoying the good times while they’re here, but knowing they won’t last. Then when the bad times come, we’re OK too because we know they won’t last either and good times are always just around the corner.
”
”
Todd Perelmuter (Spiritual Words to Live by : 81 Daily Wisdoms and Meditations to Transform Your Life)
“
When you can just step back and see the big picture and know that good things will come, good things will go, bad things will come, bad things will go… then your happiness doesn’t rely on any kind of external situation. That’s the key to lasting happiness.
”
”
Todd Perelmuter (Spiritual Words to Live by : 81 Daily Wisdoms and Meditations to Transform Your Life)
“
The single most important piece of advice about prayer is one word: Begin!
”
”
Peter Kreeft (Prayer For Beginners)
“
Advice for the wise:
You»d better bite your tongue
Rather than cast a spell wrong.
”
”
Ana Claudia Antunes (The Witches Of Avignon)
“
Protect your dreams from your nightmare
”
”
Munia Khan
“
Love is everything we can have because God is everything we have. God is love.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor
“
The writer’s silent mind is a period of intermission before orchestrating a symphony of words.
”
”
Khaled Talib (The Little Book of Muses)
“
Do not be overcome by hate. But conquer hate with love.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
May we greet each other with a smile, hug and speak kind words.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
Words are the writer’s sorcery, our dark arts and our sleight of hand. They’re our enchantment and our temptation
”
”
Karl Wiggins (Self-Publishing In the Eye of the Storm)
“
Don’t promote negativity online and expect people to treat you with positivity in person.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Good to meet you, Patrick,» Will said. «And thank you for the…advice.»
«Oh, just trying to help my girlfriend get the best out of her job,» he said. «That’s all.» There was a definite emphasis on the word my.
«Well, you’re a lucky man,» Will said, as Nathan began to steer him out. «She certainly gives a good bed bath.» The words came out so quickly that the door was closed before Patrick even realized what he had said.
”
”
Jojo Moyes (Me Before You (Me Before You, #1))
“
Adventure comes with no guarantees or promises. Risk and reward are conjoined twins—and that’s why my favorite piece of advice needs translation but no disclaimers: Fortes fortuna juvat. ‘Fortune favors the brave,’ the ancient Roman dramatist Terrence declared. In other words, there are many good reasons not to toss your life up in the air and see how it lands. Just don’t let fear be one of them.
”
”
Mary South
“
We can choose our beliefs. We can choose to believe in ourselves. We can choose to believe in any higher power or powers we want. We can choose to believe it will all work out. We just have to believe that we can believe.
”
”
Todd Perelmuter (Spiritual Words to Live by : 81 Daily Wisdoms and Meditations to Transform Your Life)
“
If you are in a position where you can reach people, then use your platform to stand up for a cause. HINT: social media is a platform.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
An angel who makes you cry is better than a devil who makes you smile.
”
”
Matshona Dhliwayo
“
Never be afraid to write what you believe. If the message speaks the truth, others will fear your words for you.
”
”
Rob Bignell (Writing Affirmations: A Collection of Positive Messages to Inspire Writers)
“
The circumstances surrounding your birth are not as important as the opportunity to live life.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
Without hope we fail to exist.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
“
You may have fallen down, but you can get back up again. You may have doors shut, but new doors will open for you. You may have been lied on, but the truth will come to the light. You may have been hurt, but the pain will pass. You are a survivor. You have a history of surviving.
”
”
Amaka Imani Nkosazana (Heart Crush)
“
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
”
”
Gerard Nolst Trenité (Drop your Foreign Accent)
“
Time passes by you like a bullet,» he says. «and fear gives you the excuses you’re craving to not do the things you know you should. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t second guess, don’t let fear hold you back, don’t be lazy, and don’t base your decisions on how happy it will make others. Just go for it, okay?
”
”
Penelope Douglas (Birthday Girl)
“
Though no one can backtrack and create a brand new start, Everyone is capable of taking their life in a brand new direction.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Treat your advices like your money, don’t give it to others unless they ask for it.
”
”
Amit Kalantri (Wealth of Words)
“
One idea to a sentence is still the best advice that anyone has ever given on writing.
”
”
Bill Bryson (Bryson’s Dictionary of Troublesome Words: A Writer’s Guide to Getting It Right)
“
I wish you all
an ego free
driven day!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master’s Sacred Knowledge)
“
A writer gets to live yet another life every time he or she creates a new story.
”
”
Pawan Mishra (On Writing Wonderfully: The Craft of Creative Fiction Writing)
“
My advice is really this: what we hear the philosophers saying and what we find in their writings should be applied in our pursuit of the happy life. We should hunt out the helpful pieces of teaching, and the spirited and noble-minded sayings which are capable of immediate practical application—not far-fetched or archaic expressions or extravagant metaphors and figures of speech—and learn them so well that words become works. No one to my mind lets humanity down quite so much as those who study philosophy as if it were a sort of commercial skill and then proceed to live in a quite different manner from the way they tell other people to live.
”
”
Seneca (Letters from a Stoic)
“
I’m always intrigued by my nonsensical concern with picking out a bunch of things that look exactly alike the ones that somehow I feel are the best and belong to me. It’s that same crazy urge or superstition, or whatever it is, that makes me open a Bible in a hotel room, hoping for some great happenstance spiritual word of advice. More often than not, I hit a long passage of begats and begots, which contain little inspiration other than the fact that procreation is the highest aim of life.
”
”
Vincent Price (The Book of Joe)
“
All of us possess a reading vocabulary as big as a lake but draw from a writing vocabulary as small as a pond. The good news is that the acts of searching and gathering always expand the number of usable words.
”
”
Roy Peter Clark (Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer)
“
Just know, my darling girl, that if I could, I would call you every day of your life just to say «I love you» with nothing else attached to those words. No criticism. No advice. No requests. Just to say I love you.
”
”
Diane Chamberlain (The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes)
“
Often when he was teaching me to write in Greek, the Fox would say, «Child, to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that is the whole art and joy of words.» A glib saying.
”
”
C.S. Lewis (Till We Have Faces)
“
Don’t listen to those people who suggest you should be “over” your daughter’s death by now. The people who squawk the loudest about such
things have almost never had to get over anything. Or at least not anything that was genuinely, mind-fuckingly, soul-crushingly life altering. Some of
those people believe they’re being helpful by minimizing your pain. Others are scared of the intensity of your loss and so they use their words to
push your grief away. Many of those people love you and are worthy of your love, but they are not the people who will be helpful to you when it
comes to healing the pain of your daughter’s death.
They live on Planet Earth. You live on Planet My Baby Died.
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
Women Empowerment Reminder of The Day. Always respect yourself as a woman. You attract what you are, so be very mindful of how you’re representing yourself. If you want respect, you must first learn how to respect yourself, first. Attracting negative attention is never a good thing. Be a woman of substance! Be a woman that both women and men respect, admire, and look up to. Don’t disrespect yourself by lowering your standards and accepting just anything that comes your way. It’s okay to be single! If you want a relationship of substance, you can’t keep entertaining people and things that mean you no good. Think about it! It’s all up to you.
”
”
Stephanie Lahart
“
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
And kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you can call it fiction
‘Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are
Although you were biased, I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick and probably
Have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy depending on how you take these
Words they’re paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging
And it’s a beautiful mess, yes, it is
It’s like we’re picking up trash in dresses
”
”
Jason Mraz
“
What if you allowed your God to exist in he simple words of compassion others offer you? … What if the greatest beauty of the day is the shaft of sunlight through our window? What if the worst thing happened and you rose anyway? What if you trusted in the human scale? What if you listened harder to the story of the man on the cross who found a way to endure his suffering more than to the one about the impossible magic of the Messiah? Would you see the miracle in that?
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
I got on with Louis from the word go. We’re very similar and I like the fact that he has this ability to be nice to everyone while living totally for the moment. It puts a smile on your face when you see someone like that. I feel I can tell him anything, and I felt like that straight away. He can be really funny one minute, but if someone has a problem he can go into serious mode straight away and he gives really good advice.
”
”
One Direction (Dare to Dream: Life as One Direction (100% Official))
“
Mother’s Day is coming up soon. If you’re lucky enough to still have your mother, tell her you’re grateful to her […] at some point, we must forgive each other for being flawed human beings. Many of us have trouble putting love or gratitude into words, but keep in mind that out actions always reveal our feelings. Always.
”
”
Cassandra King (The Same Sweet Girls’ Guide to Life: Advice from a Failed Southern Belle)
“
You can quiz me on Petrarch, Medea, Shakespeare or Dante, I know them all, and I’m sorry, but they’ve all gone wrong. Dumb glorified men, writing words about love and life as if they knew. As far as I’m concerned, they didn’t make it out alive either, so I’m sure as hell not going to go to them for advice.
”
”
Charlotte Eriksson (Empty Roads & Broken Bottles: in search for The Great Perhaps)
“
I know what I have to say. I think of Hillary’s advice, how she has been telling me to say something all along. But I am not doing this for her. This is for me. I formulate the sentences, words that have been ringing in my head all summer.
«I want to be with you, Dex» I say steadily. «Cancel the wedding. Be with me.»
There it is. After two months of waiting, a lifetime of passivity, everything is on the line. I feel relieved and liberated and changed. I am a woman who expects happiness. I deserve happiness. Surely he will make me happy.
Dex inhales, on the verge of responding.
«Don’t,» I say, shaking my head. «Please don’t talk to me agian unless it’s to tell me that the wedding is off. We have nothing more to discuss until then.»
Our eyes lock. Neither of us blinks for a minute or more. And then, for the first time, I beat Dex in a staring contest.
”
”
Emily Giffin (Something Borrowed (Darcy & Rachel, #1))
“
Being a writer all boils down to this: It’s you, in a chair, staring at a page. And you’re either going to stay in that chair until words are written, or you’re going to give up and walk away. The great writers have to fight for their words. They have to choose to write, choose words over distractions, and their characters over their friends. Great writers can be lonely, exhausted souls. But through our characters, we live.
”
”
Alessandra Torre
“
It was a piece of advice only, and aimed at myself as much, I suppose, as at you.—For those of easy tongues, she said. Remember, some live all their lives without discovering this truth; that the noblest and most terrible power we possess is the power we have, each of us, over the chance-met, the stranger, the passer-by outside your life and your kin. Speak, she said, as you would write: as if your words were letters of lead, graven there for all time, for which you must take the consequences. And take the consequences.
”
”
Dorothy Dunnett (Queens’ Play (The Lymond Chronicles, #2))
“
But it so happens that everything on this planet is, ultimately, irrational; there is not, and cannot be, any reason for the causal connexion of things, if only because our use of the word «reason» already implies the idea of causal connexion. But, even if we avoid this fundamental difficulty, Hume said that causal connexion was not merely unprovable, but unthinkable; and, in shallower waters still, one cannot assign a true reason why water should flow down hill, or sugar taste sweet in the mouth. Attempts to explain these simple matters always progress into a learned lucidity, and on further analysis retire to a remote stronghold where every thing is irrational and unthinkable.
If you cut off a man’s head, he dies. Why? Because it kills him. That is really the whole answer. Learned excursions into anatomy and physiology only beg the question; it does not explain why the heart is necessary to life to say that it is a vital organ. Yet that is exactly what is done, the trick that is played on every inquiring mind. Why cannot I see in the dark? Because light is necessary to sight. No confusion of that issue by talk of rods and cones, and optical centres, and foci, and lenses, and vibrations is very different to Edwin Arthwait’s treatment of the long-suffering English language.
Knowledge is really confined to experience. The laws of Nature are, as Kant said, the laws of our minds, and, as Huxley said, the generalization of observed facts.
It is, therefore, no argument against ceremonial magic to say that it is «absurd» to try to raise a thunderstorm by beating a drum; it is not even fair to say that you have tried the experiment, found it would not work, and so perceived it to be «impossible.» You might as well claim that, as you had taken paint and canvas, and not produced a Rembrandt, it was evident that the pictures attributed to his painting were really produced in quite a different way.
You do not see why the skull of a parricide should help you to raise a dead man, as you do not see why the mercury in a thermometer should rise and fall, though you elaborately pretend that you do; and you could not raise a dead man by the aid of the skull of a parricide, just as you could not play the violin like Kreisler; though in the latter case you might modestly add that you thought you could learn.
This is not the special pleading of a professed magician; it boils down to the advice not to judge subjects of which you are perfectly ignorant, and is to be found, stated in clearer and lovelier language, in the Essays of Thomas Henry Huxley.
”
”
Aleister Crowley
“
One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is an emotional or other connection between people-«between» being the operative word. That means, you can’t be the only one wanting that relationship. If you continually find yourself in a place of being the only one actively participating and/or willing to fight for that relationship, maybe it’s time to reexamine said relationship. Take care of your heart.
”
”
J’son M. Lee
“
Once your words fly out of your mouth, you sometimes can’t control whether they fly straight or crooked, Grandma Augustine says. «They can get bent in the strangest ways.» Grandma Augustine says that the only way to straighten out bad words is to keep making good ones until you say what you need to say to who you need to say it to.
”
”
Lori Aurelia Williams (When Kambia Elaine Flew in from Neptune)
“
The way he said her name conveyed all of his sympathy, and it confirmed all of the truth of his advice, and it promised her that she was worthwhile and redeemable, and it indicated that he treasured the way he had seen her selflessly interact with the other pilgrims, and it hinted that if any single thing was different about their circumstances, he would marry her immediately and live with her for decades until they died on the same day just as in love as they were in that moment. This may seem like a lot to be contained in the single word that is a given name, but this is why in more conservative times, cultures took great care to refer to each other by Mr. and Mrs.
”
”
Maggie Stiefvater (All the Crooked Saints)
“
Relationships are a lot like houses: without a good foundation, they’ll crumble. When a light bulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you change the bulb. When the faucet drips, you don’t start mopping the floor before you fix the leak. In other words, no matter how much digging it takes, it’s important to get to the root of a problem.
”
”
Christina Lauren (The Honey-Don’t List)
“
Evan Connell said once that he knew he was finished with a short story when he found himself going through it and taking out commas and then going through the story again and putting the commas back in the same places. I like that way of working on something. I respect that kind of care for what is being done. That’s all we have, finally, the words, and they had better be the right ones, with the punctuation in the right places so that they an best say what they are meant to say. If the words are heavy with the writer’s own unbridled emotions, or if they are imprecise and inaccurate for some other reason — if the worlds are in any way blurred — the reader’s eyes will slide right over them and nothing will be achieved. Henry James called this sort of hapless writing ‘weak specification’.
”
”
Raymond Carver (Call If You Need Me: The Uncollected Fiction and Other Prose)
“
We awaken this bodhichitta, this tenderness for life, when we can no longer shield ourselves from the vulnerability of our condition, from the basic fragility of existence. In the words of the sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa, “You take it all in. You let the pain of the world touch your heart and you turn it into compassion.” It is said that in difficult times, it is only bodhichitta that heals.
”
”
Pema Chödrön (When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times)
“
The Girlfriend 911 Cheat Sheet:
1) Change your behavior, and you’ll change his.
2) Create a high standard for yourself.
3) Create a boundary for yourself and for him.
4) Allow him to take the lead every step of the way. It’s a chess game. He makes his move, then you make yours.
5) Don’t contact him unless he contacts you first. Don’t play games or lead him on if you’re not interested. Always be honest and up-front with your intentions.
6) Pay close attention to signs and red flags. Don’t ignore them. When you see one, figure out what it means and act accordingly.
7) If you want a long-term relationship, postpone sleeping with him. Wait until a good amount of time has gone by, both of you are on the same page, and you both want to be in a committed relationship. If there’s any doubt on his part, don’t sleep with him. If he tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, take him at his word and move on.
”
”
Jacquee Kahn
“
A word of advice about Ricky …» Gabriel said as he swung his car from the end of the drive.
«Is it going to cost me?» I waved off his answer. «Whatever you’re going to say, save your breath.»
«I overheard him offering you a ride on his motorcycle. I don’t believe you understand what that entails.»
«Grass, gas, or ass. No one rides for free.» I looked over at him. «I’ve seen the T-shirt.»
«I don’t think you’re taking this seriously, Olivia. Do you know what a one-percenter is?»
I sighed. «Yes, Gabriel. It refers to the portion of bikers who belong to a professional motorcycle club. A gang. Ricky is one. As such, I’m going to guess that the only women who get to ride his bike are also riding him. Am I right?»
His mouth tightened as if he didn’t appreciate the crass phrasing. «I’m afraid you’re under some illusions about Ricky because he does not fit the stereotype.»
«Oh, I’m not fooled. He may appear to be the heir to a criminal empire, but he’s really an undercover cop, working tirelessly to overthrow his father’s evil empire and restore justice and goodness to the land.» I glanced over. «Am I close?»
Not even a hint of a smile.
”
”
Kelley Armstrong (Omens (Cainsville, #1))
“
As I say, the happiness with which the pleasure-seekers gathering on this pier greeted this small event would tend to vouch for the correctness of my companion’s words; for a great many people, the evening is the most enjoyable part of the day. Perhaps, then, there is something to his advice that I should cease looking back so much, that I should adopt a more positive outlook and try to make the best of what remains of my day.
”
”
Kazuo Ishiguro (Återstoden av dagen)
“
There is a muse, but he’s not going to come fluttering down into your writing room and scatter creative fairy-dust all over your typewriter or computer station. He lives in the ground. He’s a basement guy. You have to descend to his level, and once you get down there you have to furnish an apartment for him to live in. You have to do all the grunt labor, in other words, while the muse sits and smokes cigars and admires his bowling trophies and pretends to ignore you.
”
”
Stephen King (On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft)
“
I remember a day in class when he leaned forward, in his characteristic pose — the pose of a man about to impart a secret and croaked, «If you don’t know how to pronounce a word, say it loud! If you don’t know how to pronounce a word, say it loud! «This comical piece of advice struck me as sound at the time, and I still respect it. Why compound ignorance with inaudibility? Why run and hide?
”
”
E.B. White (The Elements of Style)
“
the top reason doctors give for not counseling patients with high cholesterol to eat healthier is that they think patients may “fear privations related to dietary advice.”65 In other words, doctors perceive that patients would feel deprived of all the junk they’re eating. Can you imagine a doctor saying, “Yeah, I’d like to tell my patients to stop smoking, but I know how much they love it”?
”
”
Michael Greger (How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease)
“
Another often-asked question when I speak in public: “Do you have some good advice you might share with us?” Yes, I do. It comes from my savvy mother-in-law, advice she gave me on my wedding day. “In every good marriage,” she counseled, “it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” I have followed that advice assiduously, and not only at home through fifty-six years of a marital partnership nonpareil. I have employed it as well in every workplace, including the Supreme Court of the United States. When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.
”
”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg (My Own Words)
“
I’d offer you advice, but I’ve never been married.” “Neither has Garrett,” I said, stating the truth. “He’s a slut.” Cookie giggled. “I love it when you call men sluts.” “Right?” I said, giggling back. “It’s much funnier than the alternative.” It was odd how I despised that word when talking about women, but when talking about men, all bets were off. Maybe because of the centuries-old double standard where a woman who enjoyed sex was a slut, whereas a man who enjoyed sex was a stud. That one never sat well with me.
”
”
Darynda Jones (Seventh Grave and No Body (Charley Davidson, #7))
“
Write all the time. I believe in writing every day, at least a thousand words a day. We have a strange idea about writing: that it can be done, and done well, without a great deal of effort. Dancers practice every day, musicians practice every day, even when they are at the peak of their careers – especially then. Somehow, we don’t take writing as seriously. But writing – writing wonderfully – takes just as much dedication.
”
”
Theodora Goss
“
The people who squawk the loudest about such things have almost never had to get over anything. Or at least not any thing that was genuinely, mind-fuckingly, soul-crushingly life altering. Some of those people believe they’re being helpful by minimizing your pain. Others are scared of the intensity of your loss and so they use their words to push your grief away. Many of those people love you and are worthy of your love, but they are not the people who will be helpful to you when it comes to healing the pain…
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
When did you start here?” I ask her.
“Three days ago. Sir. Aspirant. Um—” She wrings her hands.
“Veturius is fine.”
She walks carefully, gingerly—the Commandant must have whipped her recently. And yet she doesn’t hunch or shuffle like the others slaves. The straight-backed grace with which she moves tells her story better than words. She’d been a freewoman before this—I’d bet my scims on it. And she has no idea how pretty she is—or what kind of problems her beauty will cause for her at a place like Blackcliff. The wind pulls at her hair again, and I catch her scent—like fruit and sugar.
“Can I give you some advice?”
Her head flies up like a scared animal’s. At least she’s wary. “Right now you…” Will grab the attention of every male in a square mile. “Stand out,” I finish. “It’s hot, but you should wear a hood or a cloak—something to help you blend in.”
She nods, but her eyes are suspicious. She wraps her arms around herself and drops back a little. I don’t speak to her again.
”
”
Sabaa Tahir (An Ember in the Ashes (An Ember in the Ashes, #1))
“
You will not remember much from school.
School is designed to teach you how to respond and listen to authority figures in the event of an emergency. Like if there’s a bomb in a mall or a fire in an office. It can, apparently, take you more than a decade to learn this. These are not the best days of your life. They are still ahead of you. You will fall in love and have your heart broken in many different, new and interesting ways in college or university (if you go) and you will actually learn things, as at this point, people will believe you have a good chance of obeying authority and surviving, in the event of an emergency. If, in your chosen career path, there are award shows that give out more than ten awards in one night or you have to pay someone to actually take the award home to put on your mantlepiece, then those awards are more than likely designed to make young people in their 20’s work very late, for free, for other people. Those people will do their best to convince you that they have value. They don’t. Only the things you do have real, lasting value, not the things you get for the things you do. You will, at some point, realise that no trophy loves you as much as you love it, that it cannot pay your bills (even if it increases your salary slightly) and that it won’t hold your hand tightly as you say your last words on your deathbed. Only people who love you can do that. If you make art to feel better, make sure it eventually makes you feel better. If it doesn’t, stop making it. You will love someone differently, as time passes. If you always expect to feel the same kind of love you felt when you first met someone, you will always be looking for new people to love. Love doesn’t fade. It just changes as it grows. It would be boring if it didn’t. There is no truly «right» way of writing, painting, being or thinking, only things which have happened before. People who tell you differently are assholes, petrified of change, who should be violently ignored. No philosophy, mantra or piece of advice will hold true for every conceivable situation. «The early bird catches the worm» does not apply to minefields. Perfection only exists in poetry and movies, everyone fights occasionally and no sane person is ever completely sure of anything. Nothing is wrong with any of this. Wisdom does not come from age, wisdom comes from doing things. Be very, very careful of people who call themselves wise, artists, poets or gurus. If you eat well, exercise often and drink enough water, you have a good chance of living a long and happy life. The only time you can really be happy, is right now. There is no other moment that exists that is more important than this one. Do not sacrifice this moment in the hopes of a better one. It is easy to remember all these things when they are being said, it is much harder to remember them when you are stuck in traffic or lying in bed worrying about the next day. If you want to move people, simply tell them the truth. Today, it is rarer than it’s ever been.
(People will write things like this on posters (some of the words will be bigger than others) or speak them softly over music as art (pause for effect). The reason this happens is because as a society, we need to self-medicate against apathy and the slow, gradual death that can happen to anyone, should they confuse life with actually living.)
”
”
pleasefindthis
“
You don’t have to be young. You don’t have to be thin. You don’t have to be “hot” in a way that some dumbfuckedly narrow mindset has construed that word. You don’t have to have taut flesh or a tight ass or an eternally upright set of tits. You have to find a way to inhabit your body while enacting your deepest desires. You have to be brave enough to build the intimacy you deserve. You have to take off all of your clothes and say, “I’m right here.” There are so many tiny revolutions in a life, a million ways we have to circle around ourselves to grow and change and be okay. And perhaps the body is our final frontier. It’s the one place we can’t leave. We’re there till it goes. Most women and some men spend their lives trying to alter it, hide it, prettify it, make it what it isn’t, or conceal it for what it is. But what if we didn’t do that? That’s the question you need to answer,
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
“
Very early on, near the beginning of my writing life, I came to believe that I had to seize on some object outside of literature. Writing as a sylistic exercise seemed barren to me. Poetry as the art of the word made me yawn. I also understood that I couldn’t sustain myself very long on the poems of others. I had to go out from myself and literature, look around in the world and lay hold of other spheres of reality.
”
”
Zbigniew Herbert (The Collected Prose, 1948-1998)
“
On Hayao Miyazaki
I told Miyazaki I love the «gratuitous motion» in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are.
«We have a word for that in Japanese,» he said, «It’s called ma. Emptiness. It’s there intentionally.»
Is that like the «pillow words» that separate phrases in Japanese poetry?
«I don’t think it’s like the «pillow word.» He clapped his hands three or four times. «The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it’s just busyness, but if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb.
”
”
Roger Ebert
“
What a job, to raise someone from birth to adulthood, bestowing upon them your knowledge and your values and, despite your best intentions, any number of traits you’ve inherited yourself. What a loaded task, to make every move, every day, in such a way that the impressionable larva-person in your home will see your example, process it into something with herself, and grow layers of muscle and soul over it until she is a fully developed human being. And all the while, the little person you’re nurturing is fighting you — spitting out the broccoli, not wearing the helmet, rolling her eyes at your carefully chosen words of advice — and you become constantly worn down even as you pour your energies into loving her.
”
”
Mary Laura Philpott (I Miss You When I Blink: Essays)
“
So my advice is this — don’t look for proofs. Don’t bother with them at all. They are never sufficient to the question, and they’re always a little impertinent, I think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp. And they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them. That is very unsettling over the long term. “Let your works so shine before men,” etc. It was Coleridge who said Christianity is a life, not a doctrine, words to that effect. I’m not saying never doubt or question. The Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it. I’m saying you must be sure that the doubts and questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion at any particular moment.
”
”
Marilynne Robinson (Gilead (Gilead, #1))
“
This Sir Alisdair fellow.” Her cheeks blushed crimson. “I’m just saying, he’s likely older than Francine. And less attractive.”
“I don’t care! I don’t care if he’s ancient and warty and leprous and hunchbacked. He would still be learned, intelligent. Respected and respectful. He would still be a better man than you. You know it, and you’re envious. You’re being cruel to me to soothe your pride.” She looked him up and down with a contemptuous glare. “And you’re going to catch flies in your mouth, if you don’t shut it.”
For once, Colin found himself without words. The best he could do was take her advice and hoist his dropped jaw.
”
”
Tessa Dare (A Week to Be Wicked (Spindle Cove, #2))
“
Judge Knight: Here’s a word of advice. Our Sun Knight has the nerve to PLOT THE DOWNFALL OF A KING. DO NOT get on his bad side if you don’t have a status higher than that.
Storm Knight: In addition he has mastered the Resurrection Spell, which even the Pope has a hard time with. And he’s an expert of divine magic, sorcery, and necromancy. Then he’s got a teacher who’s known as ‘the strongest Sun Knight in history’ as his supporter, not to mention his other teacher who’s no doubt a necromancer… Oh, and while we’re at it he’s probably also buddies with a Death Lord.
Everyone’s Thoughts: His extraordinarily bad swordsmanship really is a stroke of good fortune.
Earth Knight: Dammit! Is he the Sun Knight or the devil himself?!
Leaf Knight: Have you forgotten what our teachers taught us all throughout our childhood, Earth?
Teacher: ‘Child, when you accidentlly discover the imperfections of the Sun Knight, unless you want to have a first hand experience of his imperfections, you’d better dutifully admit he is perfect. Remember, no matter what the Sun Knight is always perfect!
”
”
Yu Wo (The Legend of Sun Knight, Vol. 3 (The Legend of Sun Knight — Manhua, #3))
“
We’re also living in a time when we find respected media outlets and public figures circulating criticism of women’s voices—like that they speak with too much vocal fry, overuse the words like and literally, and apologize in excess. They brand judgments like these as pseudofeminist advice aimed at helping women talk with ‘more authority’ so they can be ‘taken more seriously.’ What they don’t seem to realize is that they’re actually keeping women in a constant state of self-questioning—keeping them quiet—for no objectively logical reason other than that they don’t sound like middle-aged white men.
”
”
Amanda Montell (Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language)
“
You do me proud, Captain. But, dear, I want to say one thing and then I’m done; for you don’t need much advice of mine after my good man has spoken. I read somewhere that every inch of rope in the British Navy has a strand of red in it, so wherever a bit of it is found it is known. That is the text of my little sermon to you. Virtue, which means honour, honesty, courage, and all that makes character, is the red thread that marks a good man wherever he is. Keep that always and everywhere, so that even if wrecked by misfortune, that sign shall still be found and recognized. Yours is a rough life, and your mates not all we could wish, but you can be a gentleman in the true sense of the word; and no matter what happens to your body, keep your soul clean, your heart true to those who love you, and do your duty to the end.
”
”
Louisa May Alcott (Jo’s Boys)
“
…if you were to bother to read my books, to behave as any educated person would, you would learn that they are not sexy, and do not argue in favor of wildness of any kind. They beg that people be kinder and more responsible than they often are. It is true that some of the characters speak coarsely. That is because people speak coarsely in real life. Especially soldiers and hardworking men speak coarsely, and even our most sheltered children know that. And we all know, too, that those words really don’t damage children much. They didn’t damage us when we were young. It was evil deeds and lying that hurt us.
”
”
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (If This Isn’t Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young)
“
I recall those beautiful summer mornings with my parents by the sandy beach of Belek. My father used to teach me how to ride waves. I remember him constantly emphasizing the fact that no wave, no matter how big it is should stir enough fear inside me to keep me glued to the shore. He used to repeat those words while glancing at my mother with a smile that could set the whole sea on fire. My mother, sitting on the beach, too afraid of the deep blue sea, contented herself with building sand castles, ones my father would step on trying to drag her hopelessly into water.
Step on your sand castle and dive deep. Dive deep into the unknown. Life is damn too short for building sand castles.
”
”
Malak El Halabi
“
Intuition is the language of silence, the Existential language. The word «in-tuition» means to listen within yourself. Intuition is the silent voice within, which is already in contact with the Existence. Intuition is the voice of God.
The more you come in contact with the inner silence, the inner emptiness, the more you have access to your intuition. Silence is the nourishment for intuition.
If something increases your love, joy and silence, it is the criterion that it is the right path for you. If something decreases your love, joy and silence, it is a sign that you are on the wrong path.
Do not compare yourself with others when it comes to take a decision about what you should do, follow the love, joy and silence of your heart and inner being. When you are in contact with your inner silence, you just know what you should do — you do not have to think about it, and you do not need not compare the pros and cons — you just know.
You can listen to the advice of others, but always listen to your intuition, to your inner teacher and guide in life, when you take the final decision. The intuition, the language of silence, will always lead your right.
”
”
Swami Dhyan Giten
“
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
”
”
Abbie Nielsen
“
Gore Vidal, for instance, once languidly told me that one should never miss a chance either to have sex or to appear on television. My efforts to live up to this maxim have mainly resulted in my passing many unglamorous hours on off-peak cable TV. It was actually Vidal’s great foe William F. Buckley who launched my part-time television career, by inviting me on to Firing Line when I was still quite young, and giving me one of the American Right’s less towering intellects as my foil. The response to the show made my day, and then my week. Yet almost every time I go to a TV studio, I feel faintly guilty. This is pre-eminently the ‘soft’ world of dream and illusion and ‘perception’: it has only a surrogate relationship to the ‘hard’ world of printed words and written-down concepts to which I’ve tried to dedicate my life, and that surrogate relationship, while it, too, may be ‘verbal,’ consists of being glib rather than fluent, fast rather than quick, sharp rather than pointed. It means reveling in the fact that I have a meretricious, want-it-both-ways side. My only excuse is to say that at least I do not pretend that this is not so.
”
”
Christopher Hitchens (Hitch 22: A Memoir)
“
[The wives of powerful noblemen] must be highly knowledgeable about government, and wise – in fact, far wiser than most other such women in power. The knowledge of a baroness must be so comprehensive that she can understand everything. Of her a philosopher might have said: «No one is wise who does not know some part of everything.» Moreover, she must have the courage of a man. This means that she should not be brought up overmuch among women nor should she be indulged in extensive and feminine pampering. Why do I say that? If barons wish to be honoured as they deserve, they spend very little time in their manors and on their own lands. Going to war, attending their prince’s court, and traveling are the three primary duties of such a lord. So the lady, his companion, must represent him at home during his absences. Although her husband is served by bailiffs, provosts, rent collectors, and land governors, she must govern them all. To do this according to her right she must conduct herself with such wisdom that she will be both feared and loved. As we have said before, the best possible fear comes from love.
When wronged, her men must be able to turn to her for refuge. She must be so skilled and flexible that in each case she can respond suitably. Therefore, she must be knowledgeable in the mores of her locality and instructed in its usages, rights, and customs. She must be a good speaker, proud when pride is needed; circumspect with the scornful, surly, or rebellious; and charitably gentle and humble toward her good, obedient subjects. With the counsellors of her lord and with the advice of elder wise men, she ought to work directly with her people. No one should ever be able to say of her that she acts merely to have her own way. Again, she should have a man’s heart. She must know the laws of arms and all things pertaining to warfare, ever prepared to command her men if there is need of it. She has to know both assault and defence tactics to insure that her fortresses are well defended, if she has any expectation of attack or believes she must initiate military action. Testing her men, she will discover their qualities of courage and determination before overly trusting them. She must know the number and strength of her men to gauge accurately her resources, so that she never will have to trust vain or feeble promises. Calculating what force she is capable of providing before her lord arrives with reinforcements, she also must know the financial resources she could call upon to sustain military action.
She should avoid oppressing her men, since this is the surest way to incur their hatred. She can best cultivate their loyalty by speaking boldly and consistently to them, according to her council, not giving one reason today and another tomorrow. Speaking words of good courage to her men-at-arms as well as to her other retainers, she will urge them to loyalty and their best efforts.
”
”
Christine de Pizan (The Treasure of the City of Ladies)
“
Don’t be their friend, be their parent!», they say. Hmm…yea, fuck that advice. To each their own, but I pretty much think that’s the worst advice you could offer. I know far too many teens who come talk to me about their REAL life because they can’t talk to their parents. We are headed into preteen years and I want my girls to be able to talk to me about what’s really going on with them. I don’t want them to be scared to talk to me for fear that I will be angry or disappointed. People tell me that I’ll regret this and that it will bite me in the ass someday. I’ll take my chances. The way I see it is: You can’t scare someone into changing, you’ll just scare them enough that they learn how to pretend. They will put on a mask and they may never find the courage to take it off. I’ve been telling them they could trust me since they were born; not with my words, but with my actions. One reaction at a time, letting them know that I’m not scared of who they are. I share my opinions and I give advice when the time is right, but mostly I’m here to hold space for them while they find their way in this world. I’m not worried about my kids appearing perfect, I’m worried about them being one person in front of me and an entirely different person when I’m not around. I choose to be their friend and get to know them as they are, not as I want them to be.
”
”
Brooke Hampton
“
I thank you, Wilhelm, for your heartfelt sympathy, for your well-intentioned advice, but beg you to be quiet. Let me stick it out. Blessedly exhausted as I am, I have strength enough to carry through. I honor religion, you know that, I feel it is a staff for many weary souls, refreshment for many a one who is pining away. But—can it be, must it be, the same thing for everyone? If you look at the great world, you see thousands for whom it wasn’t, thousands for whom it will not be the same, preached or unpreached, and must it then be the same for me? Does not the son of God Himself say that those would be around Him whom the Father had given Him? But if I am not given? If the Father wants to keep me for Himself, as my heart tells me?—I beg you, do not misinterpret this, do not see mockery in these innocent words. What I am laying before you is my whole soul; otherwise I would rather have kept silent, as I do not like to lose words over things that everyone knows as little about as I do. What else is it but human destiny to suffer out one’s measure, drink up one’s cup?—And if the chalice was too bitter for the God from heaven on His human lips, why should I boast and pretend that it tastes sweet to me? And why should I be ashamed in the terrible moment when my entire being trembles between being and nothingness, since the past flashes like lightning above the dark abyss of the future and everything around me is swallowed up, and the world perishes with me?—Is that not the voice of the creature thrown back on itself, failing, trapped, lost, and inexorably tumbling downward, the voice groaning in the inner depths of its vainly upwards-struggling energies: My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken me? And if I should be ashamed of the expression, should I be afraid when facing that moment, since it did not escape Him who rolls up heaven like a carpet?
”
”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (The Sorrows of Young Werther)
“
Once I was asked be a seatmate on a trans-Pacific flight….what instruction he should give his fifteen-year-old daughters, who wanted to be a writer. [I said], «Tell your daughter three things.» Tell her to read…Tell her to read whatever interests her, and protect her if someone declares what she’s reading to be trash. No one can fathom what happens between a human being and written language. She may be paying attention to things in the words beyond anyone else’s comprehension, things that feed her curiosity, her singular heart and mind. …Second, I said, tell your daughter that she can learn a great deal about writing by reading and by studying books about grammar and the organization of ideas, but that if she wishes to write well she will have to become someone. She will have to discover her beliefs, and then speak to us from within those beliefs. If her prose doesn’t come out of her belief, whatever that proves to be, she will only be passing along information, of which we are in no great need. So help her discover what she means.
Finally, I said, tell your daughter to get out of town, and help her do that. I don’t necessarily mean to travel to Kazakhstan, or wherever, but to learn another language, to live with people other than her own, to separate herself from the familiar. Then, when she returns, she will be better able to understand why she loves the familiar, and will give us a fresh sense of how fortunate we are to share these things.
Read. Find out what you truly believe. Get away from the familiar. Every writer, I told him, will offer you thoughts about writing that are different, but these are three I trust.
— from «A Voice
”
”
Barry Lopez (About This Life)
“
FatherMichael has entered the room
Wildflower: Ah don’t tell me you’re through a divorce yourself Father?
SureOne: Don’t be silly Wildflower, have a bit of respect! He’s here for the ceremony.
Wildflower: I know that. I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere.
FatherMichael: So have the loving couple arrived yet?
SureOne: No but it’s customary for the bride to be late.
FatherMichael: Well is the groom here?
SingleSam has entered the room
Wildflower: Here he is now. Hello there SingleSam. I think this is the first time ever that both the bride and groom will have to change their names.
SingleSam: Hello all.
Buttercup: Where’s the bride?
LonelyLady: Probably fixing her makeup.
Wildflower: Oh don’t be silly. No one can even see her.
LonelyLady: SingleSam can see her.
SureOne: She’s not doing her makeup; she’s supposed to keep the groom waiting.
SingleSam: No she’s right here on the laptop beside me. She’s just having problems with her password logging in.
SureOne: Doomed from the start.
Divorced_1 has entered the room
Wildflower: Wahoo! Here comes the bride, all dressed in . . .
SingleSam: Black.
Wildflower: How charming.
Buttercup: She’s right to wear black.
Divorced_1: What’s wrong with misery guts today?
LonelyLady: She found a letter from Alex that was written 12 years ago proclaiming his love for her and she doesn’t know what to do.
Divorced_1: Here’s a word of advice. Get over it, he’s married. Now let’s focus the attention on me for a change.
SoOverHim has entered the room
FatherMichael: OK let’s begin. We are gathered here online today to witness the marriage of SingleSam (soon to be “Sam”) and Divorced_1 (soon to be “Married_1”).
SoOverHim: WHAT?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
THIS IS A MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN A DIVORCED PEOPLE CHAT ROOM??
Wildflower: Uh-oh, looks like we got ourselves a gate crasher here. Excuse me can we see your wedding invite please?
Divorced_1: Ha ha.
SoOverHim: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK, COMING IN HERE AND TRYING TO
UPSET OTHERS WHO ARE GENUINELY TROUBLED.
Buttercup: Oh we are genuinely troubled alright. And could you please STOP SHOUTING.
LonelyLady: You see SoOverHim, this is where SingleSam and Divorced_1 met for the first time.
SoOverHim: OH I HAVE SEEN IT ALL NOW!
Buttercup: Sshh!
SoOverHim: Sorry. Mind if I stick around?
Divorced_1: Sure grab a pew; just don’t trip over my train.
Wildflower: Ha ha.
FatherMichael: OK we should get on with this; I don’t want to be late for my 2 o’clock. First I have to ask, is there anyone in here who thinks there is any reason why these two should not be married?
LonelyLady: Yes.
SureOne: I could give more than one reason.
Buttercup: Hell yes.
SoOverHim: DON’T DO IT!
FatherMichael: Well I’m afraid this has put me in a very tricky predicament.
Divorced_1: Father we are in a divorced chat room, of course they all object to marriage. Can we get on with it?
FatherMichael: Certainly. Do you Sam take Penelope to be your lawful wedded wife?
SingleSam: I do.
FatherMichael: Do you Penelope take Sam to be your lawful wedded husband?
Divorced_1: I do (yeah, yeah my name is Penelope).
FatherMichael: You have already e-mailed your vows to me so by the online power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. Now if the witnesses could click on the icon to the right of the screen they will find a form to type their names, addresses, and phone numbers. Once that’s filled in just e-mail it off to me. I’ll be off now. Congratulations again.
FatherMichael has left the room
Wildflower: Congrats Sam and Penelope!
Divorced_1: Thanks girls for being here.
SoOverHim: Freaks.
SoOverHim has left the room
”
”
Cecelia Ahern (Love, Rosie)
“
First, relax. … And my second helpful hint is that you should not try to memorize anything you read in this book. … My two words of advice are exemplified in what I call the Russian Novel Phenomenon. Every reader must have experienced that depressing moment about fifty pages into a Russian novel when we realize that we have lost track of all the characters, the variety of names by which they are known, their family relationships and relative ranks in the civil service. At this point we can give in to our anxiety, and start again to read more carefully, trying to memorize all the details on the offchance that some may prove to be important. If such a course is followed, the second reading is almost certain to be more incomprehensible than the first. The probable result: one Russian novel lost forever. But there is another alternative: to read faster, to push ahead, to make sense of what we can and to enjoy whatever we make sense of. And suddenly the book becomes readable, the story makes sense, and we find that we can remember all the important characters and events simply because we know what is important. Any re-reading we then have to do is bound to make sense, because at least we comprehend what is going on and what we are looking for.
”
”
Frank Smith
“
Mom frowned, and I wanted to give her a thumbs-up to let her know I was okay. All I could manage was raising my bound hands in her general direction, clocking Cal on the chin as I did so. «Sorry.»
«No problem. Must be weird for you, having your mom here.»
«Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had to give up your swinging bachelor pad.»
«Mrs. Casnoff let me install my heart-shaped Jacuzzi in my new dorm room.»
«Cal,» I said with mock astonishment, «did you just make a joke?»
«Maybe,» he replied. We’d reached the end of the pier. I looked down at the water and tried not to shudder.
«I’ll be pretending, of course, but do you have any advice on how I’m supposed to not drown?» I asked Cal.
«Don’t breathe in water.»
«Oh,thanks,that’s super helpful.»
Cal shifted me in his arms, and I tensed. Just before he tossed me into the pond, he leaned in and whispered, «Good luck.»
And then I hit the water.
I can’t say what my first thought was as I sunk below the surface, because it was mostly a string of four-letter words. The water was way too cold for a pond in Georgia in May, and I could feel the chill sinking all the way into my bones. Plus my chest started burning almost immediately, and I sunk all the way to the bottom, landing in the slimy mud.
Okay,Sophie,I thought. Don’t panic.
Then I glanced over to my right, and through the murky water, made out a skull grinning back at me.
I panicked.
”
”
Rachel Hawkins (Demonglass (Hex Hall, #2))
“
Practical advice.—People who read much must always keep it in mind that life is one thing, literature another. Not that authors invariably lie. I declare that there are writers who rarely and most reluctantly lie. But one must know how to read, and that isn’t easy. Out of a hundred bookreaders ninety-nine have no idea what they are reading about. It is a common belief, for example, that any writer who sings of suffering must be ready at all times to open his arms to the weary and heavy-laden. This is what his readers feel when they read his books. Then when they approach him with their woes, and find that he runs away without looking back at them, they are filled with indignation and talk of the discrepancy between word and deed. Whereas the fact is, the singer has more than enough woes of his own, and he sings them because he can’t get rid of them. L’uccello canta nella gabbia, non di gioia ma di rabbia, says the Italian proverb: «The bird sings in the cage, not from joy but from rage.» It is impossible to love sufferers, particularly hopeless sufferers, and whoever says otherwise is a deliberate liar. «Come unto Me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.» But you remember what the Jews said about Him: «He speaks as one having authority!» And if Jesus had been unable, or had not possessed the right, to answer this skeptical taunt, He would have had to renounce His words. We common mortals have neither divine powers nor divine rights, we can only love our neighbours whilst they still have hope, and any pretence of going beyond this is empty swagger. Ask him who sings of suffering for nothing but his songs. Rather think of alleviating his burden than of requiring alleviation from him. Surely not—for ever should we ask any poet to sob and look upon tears. I will end with another Italian saying: Non è un si triste cane che non meni la coda… «No dog so wretched that doesn’t wag his tail sometimes.
”
”
Lev Shestov (All Things Are Possible And Penultimate Words And Other Essays)
“
Inside the church, the bondsmaids were walking slowly down the aisle,
with the little petal girls. Trinity turned to give Mimi her last words of
motherly advice: ‘Walk straight. Don’t slouch. And for heavens’s sake,
smile! It’s your bonding!?’ Then she too walked through the door and
down the aisle. The door shut behind her, leaving Mimi alone.
Finally, Mimi heard the orchestra play the first strains of the ‘Wedding
March.’ Wagner. Then the ushers opened the doors and Mimi moved to the threshold. There was an appreciative gasp from the crowd as they took in the sight of Mimi in her fantastic dress. But instead of acknowledging her triumph as New York?s most beautiful bride, Mimi looked straight ahead, at Jack, who was standing so tall and straight at the altar. He met her eyes and did not smile.
‘Let’s just get this over with.’
His words were like an ice pick to the heart. He doesn’t love me. He has
never loved me. Not the way he loves Schuyler. Not the way he loved Allegra. He has come to every bonding with this darkness. With this regret and hesitation, doubt and despair. She couldn’t deny it. She knew her twin, and she knew what he was feeling, and it wasn’t joy or even relief.
What am I doing?
«Ready» Forsyth Llewellyn suddenly appeared by her side. Oh, right, she
remembered, she had said yes when Forsyth had offered to walk her
down the aisle.
Here goes nothing. As if in a daze, Mimi took his arm, Jack’s words still
echoing in her head. She walked, zombie-like, down the aisle, not even
noticing the flashing cameras or the murmurs of approval from the
hard-to-impress crowd.
”
”
Melissa de la Cruz (The Van Alen Legacy (Blue Bloods, #4))
“
For those who have walked through the fires of hell and rather than fall to its flames, have emerged battered, but victorious. In the immortal words of Ovid: Quin ninc quoque frigidus artus, dum loquor, horror habet, parsque est meminisse doloris- Even now while I tell it, cold horror envelops me and my pains return the minute I think of it. We can never escape the pain of our pasts, or the flashbacks that assault us when we dare to let our thoughts drift unattended, but we can choose to not let it ruin the future we, alone, can build for ourselves.
And for those who are currently trapped in a bad situation. May you find the resolute strength it takes to free yourself, and to finally see the beauty that lives inside you. You are resplendent, and you deserve respect and love. Don’t let the minions of hatred or cruelty define you, or steal away your own humanity. When our compassion and ability to love and appreciate others go, then our bullies and oppressors have truly won, for it is not they who are harmed, but rather we who lose our souls and hearts to the same miserable bitterness that causes them to lash out against us. The cycle can be broken- it must be broken, even though the path is never easy or without cost. Yet victory is made sweeter when you know it came from within you, without violent retribution. The best revenge is to leave them mired in their hateful misery while you learn to bask in the warmth of self-esteem and happiness. Never forget that broken wings can and do heal in time, and that those scarred wings can carry the eagle to the top of the highest mountain.
”
”
Sherrilyn Kenyon (Born of Silence (The League: Nemesis Rising #6))
“
Glossa
Time goes by, time comes along,
All is old and all is new;
What is right and what is wrong,
You must think and ask of you;
Have no hope and have no fear,
Waves that rise can never hold;
If they urge or if they cheer,
You remain aloof and cold.
To our sight a lot will glisten,
Many sounds will reach our ear;
Who could take the time to listen
And remember all we hear?
Keep aside from all that patter,
Seek yourself, far from the throng
When with loud and idle clatter
Time goes by, time comes along.
Nor forget the tongue of reason
Or its even scales depress
When the moment, changing season,
Wears the mask of happiness —
It is born of reason’s slumber
And may last a wink as true:
For the one who knows its number
All is old and all is new.
Be as to a play, spectator,
As the world unfolds before:
You will know the heart of matter
Should they act two parts or four;
When they cry or tear asunder
From your seat enjoy along
And you’ll learn from art to wonder
What is right and what is wrong.
Past and future, ever blending,
Are the twin sides of same page:
New start will begin with ending
When you know to learn from age;
All that was or be tomorrow
We have in the present, too;
But what’s vain and futile sorrow
You must think and ask of you;
For the living cannot sever
From the means we’ve always had:
Now, as years ago, and ever,
Men are happy or are sad:
Other masks, same play repeated;
Diff’rent tongues, same words to hear;
Of your dreams so often cheated,
Have no hope and have no fear.
Hope not when the villains cluster
By success and glory drawn:
Fools with perfect lack of luster
Will outshine Hyperion!
Fear it not, they’ll push each other
To reach higher in the fold,
Do not side with them as brother,
Waves that rise can never hold.
Sounds of siren songs call steady
Toward golden nets, astray;
Life attracts you into eddies
To change actors in the play;
Steal aside from crowd and bustle,
Do not look, seem not to hear
From your path, away from hustle,
If they urge or if they cheer;
If they reach for you, go faster,
Hold your tongue when slanders yell;
Your advice they cannot master,
Don’t you know their measure well?
Let them talk and let them chatter,
Let all go past, young and old;
Unattached to man or matter,
You remain aloof and cold.
You remain aloof and cold
If they urge or if they cheer;
Waves that rise can never hold,
Have no hope and have no fear;
You must think and ask of you
What is right and what is wrong;
All is old and all is new,
Time goes by, time comes along.
”
”
Mihai Eminescu (Poems)
“
You and McNab sat around talking about women and sports.»
«I don’t believe we got to sports. He had a woman on his mind.»
Eve’s sneer vanished. «You talked to him about Peabody? Damn it, Roarke.»
«I could hardly slap him back. He’s so pitifully smitten.»
«Oh.» She winced. «Don’t use that word.»
«It fits. In fact, if he took my advice …» He turned his wrist, glanced at the unit fastened there. «They should be well into their first date by now.»
«Date? Date? Why did you do that? Why did you go and do something like that? Couldn’t you leave it alone? They’d have had sex until they burned out on it, and everything would go back to normal.»
He angled his head. «That didn’t work for us, did it?»
«We don’t work together.» Then, when his eyes brightened with pure amusement, she showed her teeth. «Officially. You start mixing cops and romance and case files and gooey looks at briefings, you’ve got nothing but a mess. Next thing you know, Peabody will be wearing lip dye and smelly girl stuff and dragging body skimmers under her uniform.»
She dropped her head in her hands. «Then they’ll have tiffs and misunderstandings that have nothing whatsoever to do with the job. They’ll come at me from both sides, and before you know it, they’ll be telling me things I absolutely do not want to know. And when they break it off and decide they hate each other down to the guts, I’ll have to hear about that, too, and why they can’t possibly work together, or breathe the same air, until I have no choice, absolutely no choice, but to kick both of their asses.»
«Eve, your sunny view on life never fails to lift my spirits.»
«And — » She poked him in the chest. «It’s all your fault.»
He grabbed her finger, nipped it, not so gently. «If that’s the case, I’m going to insist they name their first child after me.
”
”
J.D. Robb (Witness in Death (In Death, #10))
“
How to Survive Racism in an Organization that Claims to be Antiracist:
10. Ask why they want you. Get as much clarity as possible on what the organization has read about you, what they understand about you, what they assume are your gifts and strengths. What does the organization hope you will bring to the table? Do those answers align with your reasons for wanting to be at the table?
9. Define your terms. You and the organization may have different definitions of words like «justice», «diveristy», or «antiracism». Ask for definitions, examples, or success stories to give you a better idea of how the organization understands and embodies these words. Also ask about who is in charge and who is held accountable for these efforts. Then ask yourself if you can work within the structure.
8. Hold the organization to the highest vision they committed to for as long as you can. Be ready to move if the leaders aren’t prepared to pursue their own stated vision.
7. Find your people. If you are going to push back against the system or push leadership forward, it’s wise not to do so alone. Build or join an antiracist cohort within the organization.
6. Have mentors and counselors on standby. Don’t just choose a really good friend or a parent when seeking advice. It’s important to have on or two mentors who can give advice based on their personal knowledge of the organization and its leaders. You want someone who can help you navigate the particular politics of your organization.
5. Practice self-care. Remember that you are a whole person, not a mule to carry the racial sins of the organization. Fall in love, take your children to the park, don’t miss doctors’ visits, read for pleasure, dance with abandon, have lots of good sex, be gentle with yourself.
4. Find donors who will contribute to the cause. Who’s willing to keep the class funded, the diversity positions going, the social justice center operating? It’s important for the organization to know the members of your cohort aren’t the only ones who care. Demonstrate that there are stakeholders, congregations members, and donors who want to see real change.
3. Know your rights. There are some racist things that are just mean, but others are against the law. Know the difference, and keep records of it all.
2. Speak. Of course, context matters. You must be strategic about when, how, to whom, and about which situations you decide to call out. But speak. Find your voice and use it.
1. Remember: You are a creative being who is capable of making change. But it is not your responsibility to transform an entire organization.
”
”
Austin Channing Brown (I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness)
“
Close your eyes and stare into the dark. My father’s advice when I couldn’t sleep as a little girl. He wouldn’t want me to do that now but I’ve set my mind to the task regardless. I’m staring beyond my closed eyelids. Though I lie still on the ground, I feel perched at the highest point I could possibly be; clutching at a star in the night sky with my legs dangling above cold black nothingness. I take one last look at my fingers wrapped around the light and let go. Down I go, falling, then floating, and, falling again, I wait for the land of my life. I know now, as I knew as that little girl fighting sleep, that behind her gauzed screen of shut-eye, lies colour. It taunts me, dares me to open my eyes and lose sleep. Flashes of red and amber, yellow and white speckle my darkness. I refuse to open them. I rebel and I squeeze my eyelids together tighter to block out the grains of light, mere distractions that keep us awake but a sign that there’s life beyond.
But there’s no life in me. None that I can feel, from where I lie at the bottom of the staircase. My heart beats quicker now, the lone fighter left standing in the ring, a red boxing glove pumping victoriously into the air, refusing to give up. It’s the only part of me that cares, the only part that ever cared. It fights to pump the blood around to heal, to replace what I’m losing. But it’s all leaving my body as quickly as it’s sent; forming a deep black ocean of its own around me where I’ve fallen.
Rushing, rushing, rushing. We are always rushing. Never have enough time here, always trying to make our way there. Need to have left here five minutes ago, need to be there now. The phone rings again and I acknowledge the irony. I could have taken my time and answered it now.
Now, not then.
I could have taken all the time in the world on each of those steps. But we’re always rushing. All, but my heart. That slows now. I don’t mind so much. I place my hand on my belly. If my child is gone, and I suspect this is so, I’ll join it there. There…..where? Wherever. It; a heartless word. He or she so young; who it was to become, still a question. But there, I will mother it.
There, not here. I’ll tell it; I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m sorry I ruined your chances — our chances of a life together.But close your eyes and stare into the darkness now, like Mummy is doing, and we’ll find our way together.
There’s a noise in the room and I feel a presence. ‘Oh God, Joyce, oh God. Can you hear me, love? Oh God. Oh God, please no, Hold on love, I’m here. Dad is here.’
I don’t want to hold on and I feel like telling him so. I hear myself groan, an animal-like whimper and it shocks me, scares me. I have a plan, I want to tell him. I want to go, only then can I be with my baby. Then, not now.
He’s stopped me from falling but I haven’t landed yet. Instead he helps me balance on nothing, hover while I’m forced to make the decision. I want to keep falling but he’s calling the ambulance and he’s gripping my hand with such ferocity it’s as though I’m all he has. He’s brushing the hair from my forehead and weeping loudly. I’ve never heard him weep. Not even when Mum died. He clings to my hand with all of his strength I never knew his old body had and I remember that I am all he has and that he, once again just like before, is my whole world. The blood continues to rush through me. Rushing, rushing, rushing. We are always rushing. Maybe I’m rushing again. Maybe it’s not my time to go. I feel the rough skin of old hands squeezing mine, and their intensity and their familiarity force me to open my eyes. Lights fills them and I glimpse his face, a look I never want to see again. He clings to his baby. I know I lost mind; I can’t let him lose his. In making my decision I already begin to grieve. I’ve landed now, the land of my life. And still my heart pumps on.
Even when broken it still works.
”
”
Cecelia Ahern (Thanks for the Memories)
Кто из нас не любит давать советы? Куда пойти, что сделать, что надеть сегодня вечером – обо всем этом мы можем услышать, даже если не спрашивали.
В английском языке тема советов более деликатная. Иностранцу не всегда может понравиться, что вы что-то ему рекомендуете, когда он вас об этом не просит. Как же тогда американцы и англичане живут без советов? У них есть очень много способов передать свои предложения, пожелания и рекомендации, чаще всего в завуалированной форме.
В этой статье вы узнаете множество грамматических конструкций, слов и выражений, которые помогут вам поделиться советом на английском языке.
Advice или advise?
Advice переводится как «совет», это существительное, advise – «советовать», глагол.
Советы бывают разные:
| Хороший | Good | Advice |
| Отличный | Excellent | |
| Полезный | Useful | |
| Дельный | Constructive | |
| Разумный | Sound | |
| Ценный | Valuable | |
| Плохой | Bad | |
| Неправильный | Wrong |
That’s really constructive advice and Ron’s advice was bad. – Это действительно дельный совет, а совет Рона был плохим.
Помните, что английский advice – это неисчисляемое существительное, поэтому с ним нельзя использовать неопределенный артикль и он не может использоваться во множественном числе. Если вы хотите акцентировать внимание на том, что совет один, используйте такие словосочетания, как a bit of advice, a piece of advice, a word of advice, some advice. Все эти сочетания будут переводиться как «небольшой совет», «один совет». В английском также есть такие сочетания, как two pieces of advice или several words of advice, но обычно так не говорят. Если советов больше одного, можно сказать some advice (небольшой совет; пара советов / несколько советов).
He gave me a word of advice on my driving. – Он дал мне небольшой совет относительно моего вождения.
Совет можно не только «дать». С ним используются и другие глаголы:
| Дать | To give somebody | Advice |
| Предложить | To offer somebody | |
| Принять | To take/obtain | |
| Попросить | To ask for | |
| Прислушаться к | To listen to | |
| Последовать | To follow | |
| Проигнорировать | To ignore | |
| Отвергнуть | To reject |
Глагол to advise используется в речи носителей гораздо реже. В английской традиции не принято напрямую давать советы (за исключением ситуаций, когда вас открыто об этом попросили). В случае крайней необходимости вы можете сказать: I strongly advise… – Я настоятельно рекомендую…
I strongly advise you not to keep company with him. – Я настоятельно тебе рекомендую не водиться с ним.
Making suggestions. Совет-предложение
Как уже говорилось выше, совет лучше не давать напрямую. Для того чтобы быть вежливым советчиком, используйте предложения (suggestions) и рекомендации (recommendations). Этой цели служат:
- Глаголы to suggest (предлагать), to recommend (рекомендовать). После этих глаголов обычно используется существительное, герундий или придаточное предложение с that. С глаголом to recommend употребляется еще и инфинитив.
He recommended taking a chicken in this restaurant. – Он рекомендовал попробовать цыпленка в этом ресторане.
I suggest that you take morning courses. – Я советую тебе ходить на утренние занятия.
He suggested going by bus. – Он советовал ехать на автобусе.
Jane recommended Alice not to wear this skirt for the date. – Джейн посоветовала Элис не надевать эту юбку на свидание.
- Выражения to come up with a suggestion/recommendation (внести предложение/рекомендацию), to make a suggestion/recommendation (внести предложение / дать рекомендацию).
She came up with an interesting suggestion but her boss rejected it. – Она внесла интересное предложение, но босс отверг его.
He made a recommendation to the board of directors on the working conditions. Он дал рекомендации для совета директоров относительно рабочих условий.
- Какие еще слова и фразы использовать для советов, читайте в статье «Nice advice: даем советы на английском языке».
Даем совет с помощью модального глагола
Модальные глаголы – самый распространенный способ дать совет. При этом каждый модальный глагол передает свою степень настойчивости:
- must – настойчивый совет;
- should – общий совет;
- ought to – совет морального характера;
- can (could) – совет-предложение.
You ought to call your mom this week. – Ты должен позвонить маме на этой неделе. (мои моральные принципы говорят о том, что надо позвонить маме)
We can join them after dinner. – Мы можем присоединиться к ним после ужина.
C помощью must и should мы даем совет близким людям, друзьям, так как эти глаголы открыто сообщают, что делать. Малознакомому человеку такой совет покажется слишком прямолинейным. Здесь лучше использовать can (could).
You must see this film on a big screen! – Ты просто обязан увидеть этот фильм на большом экране!
He shouldn’t eat so many hamburgers and French fries. – Он не должен есть так много гамбургеров и картошки фри.
Настойчивая рекомендация на английском языке
В случае если собеседник пренебрегает вашим советом, а вы хотите сообщить ему, что рекомендация очень ценная и ею непременно следует воспользоваться, то вам повезло. В английском языке для этого есть специальная конструкция – had better (лучше бы), в сокращенном варианте – ‘d better. Обычно она подразумевает, что может случиться что-то плохое, если вы отвергните совет.
You’d better put on your wooly hat. It’s freezing outside, you can catch a cold. – Лучше бы тебе надеть шерстяную шапку. На улице мороз, ты можешь простудиться.
You’d better stop teasing the dog before it bites you. – Тебе лучше бы перестать дразнить собаку, пока она тебя не укусила.
Если вы все еще сомневаетесь, в какой форме выразить свой совет, посмотрите видео о разнице между should, ought to, had better:
Совет в форме вопроса
Если вы хотите произвести впечатление учтивого человека, предлагайте совет в форме вопроса. Такой совет будет вежливым и ненавязчивым.
Совет-вопрос может выглядеть так:
- Why don’t you..? – Почему бы не..?
- How about..? – Как насчет.. ?
- Have you tried..? – Ты не пробовал..?
- Have you thought about..? – Ты не думал о том, что..?
- Have you considered..? – Ты не думал о..?
Why don’t you come up and meet this girl? She’s given you a smile. – Почему бы тебе не подойти и не познакомиться с этой девушкой? Она тебе улыбнулась.
Have you considered giving up your work as a ticket collector and concentrating on studying? – Ты не думал бросить работу билетером и сосредоточиться на учебе?
Совет с помощью условного предложения
Условное предложение – это еще один способ преподнести вежливый совет. В такой форме ваши слова не покажутся собеседнику навязчивыми, а будут звучать как предложение.
He will let you drive his car if you ask him. – Он позволит тебе покататься на его машине, если ты попросишь.
If you visited her in hospital, she would be really glad. – Если бы ты навестил ее в больнице, она была бы очень рада.
- Если вы подзабыли «условности», освежить знания вам поможет статья «Условные предложения в английском языке».
Put yourself in somebody’s shoes
В продолжение темы условных предложений: если вы хотите дать хороший совет, поставьте себя на место человека (put yourself in their shoes). Такая форма совета выигрышна вдвойне: вы произведете впечатление и как воспитанный человек, и как понимающий.
- If I were you… – Если бы я был тобой …
- If I were in your shoes… – Если бы я был на твоем месте (дословно – в твоих ботинках)…
- If I were in your place… – Если бы я был на твоем месте…
- If that happened to me… – Если бы это произошло со мной…
- If it was my decision… – Если бы я принимал решение…
- If I had that problem… – Если бы у меня была такая проблема…
I would call my wife immediately if such a joyous thing happened to me. – Я бы сразу позвонил жене, если бы такое радостное событие произошло со мной.
If I had that problem, I would never let anyone interfere in my business. – Если бы у меня была такая проблема, я бы никогда не позволил кому-либо вмешиваться в мои дела.
Совет-предостережение
Мы также можем использовать глагол to want, когда хотим дать совет или предупредить о чем-то. Это вариант исключительно разговорный. По смыслу он совпадает с модальным глаголом should и переводится как «следует», «надо». Как правило, to want используется в настоящем времени, реже – в будущем.
You want to be careful in the streets in the evening. – Тебе следует быть осторожным на улице вечером.
You’ll want to take off your coat and bring it to the dry-cleaner’s. – Тебе надо снять с себя пальто и отнести его в химчистку.
Как еще дать совет: полезные фразы
Вы все еще чувствуете, что полезных выражений для совета недостаточно в вашей копилке знаний? Тогда ознакомьтесь еще с несколькими фразами, с помощью которых можно поделиться советом:
- It is a good idea… – Хорошая идея…
- Whatever you do, don’t forget to… – Что бы ты ни делал, не забывай…
- …always works for me. – …всегда мне помогает.
- Your only option is… – Твой единственный вариант…
- You have no choice but… – У тебя нет другого выбора, кроме как…
- …is worth a try. – …стоит попробовать.
- I read in a book that… – Я читал в книге, что…
- Perhaps/Maybe … will really work. – Возможно, … действительно сработает.
It’s a good idea to calm down and not attack that arrogant guy. – Хорошей идеей будет успокоиться и не нападать на этого заносчивого парня.
This herbal tea always works for my headache. – Этот травяной чай всегда мне помогает при головных болях.
Если вы подзабыли какой-то из грамматических аспектов, вы всегда можете освежить знания, прочитав соответствующую статью в нашем блоге:
- Модальные глаголы: must, shall (should), ought to, can (could).
- Выражение had better в английском языке.
- Типы вопросов в английском языке.
Теперь вы убедились, что совет можно подать под разным соусом: открыто, прямо «в лоб», настойчиво, вежливо и учтиво, примерив «чужие ботинки». Может быть, вы знаете другие способы? Делитесь ими в комментариях. Но предварительно пройдите тест и проверьте, как хорошо вы освоили искусство совета на английском языке.
Не забудьте скачать список слов и выражений по теме.
↓ Скачать список слов и выражений по теме «Как дать совет по-английски: полезные слова и конструкции» (*.pdf, 242 Кб)
Тест
Как дать совет по-английски: полезные слова и конструкции
Если вы нашли ошибку, пожалуйста, выделите фрагмент текста и нажмите Ctrl+Enter.
A great piece of advice can lead you to greener pastures in life and guide you to becoming a better version of yourself.
So let me ask you a question: Have you ever received a bit of advice so significant that you still apply it up to this day? Who was it from and what made it unforgettable?
We wanted to hear the answer to this vital question from successful individuals across a variety of industries, and to impart that knowledge so that you too can stay compassionate, driven, motivated, and focused on achieving your own goals.
Here are the best advice they’ve ever received, as shared by successful people.
“Make your student life fun”
Just out of the U.S. Army—having enlisted in large part because of a very generous G.I. Bill in the mid-1980s—I was wandering aimlessly back in small Southern California beach town I grew up in.
I enrolled without a sense of goal or purpose at Orange Coast College (OCC), the community college that I’d begun and quit prior to enlisting. I had a vague notion that maybe, just maybe, I’d become some kind of creative writer, having been in a raucous punk band in high school and really loving the process of composing songs. There was no “Punk Rock 101” at OCC.
I signed up for the general course work that would eventually lead to an Associate’s Degree and allow me to transfer into the Cal State University system, but I was uninspired. By mid-semester, I was doing about as “well” as I’d done in high school: a solid C average.
But oddly enough, my mother told me that, “on a whim,” she’d taken a class called, “How to Survive in College,” taught by a woman named Char Mecke. It was a half semester class, and I was just hitting the mid-way point in my first post-military attempt at a college education. I enrolled.
In that class, Char Mecke said something completely and irrevocably changed the way that I experience school—which I’d always loved as a social event, but never took seriously as an educational endeavor—but, most importantly, how I experience myself as a student. She said: “Make it fun.“
And, to tell the truth, I had little use at that time for the word fun. It had always seemed so vapid, innocuous, insipid and uninspiring. But somehow that advice got under my defenses and began, immediately, to transform the way I saw myself as a student.
And, with a few suggestions for doing so (making it fun) from Char Mecke, I began to manifest that transformation in the ways that I:
- Went to class (with an open mind and heart seeking ways to relate to and explore subjects I’d never considered),
- Read my assigned reading (highlighting, taking notes and citing meaningful passages),
- Prepared for and took exams, and
- Engaged (crafting notebooks with artwork and insights), crafted and composed my written assignments
The notebooks became journals wherein I documented not only my education but also my work life, then my social and my love life—filling the pages with photos, tickets, mementos, and scraps from every experience and encounter.
They help me to think clearly and allow an outlet for difficult and uncomfortable emotion, the help me to assess and align my goals with my accomplishments and, I can admit it: it’s a very important and fun process.
At the start of the second half of my first full semester of college, I received that advice that I would carry with me throughout the rest of my college life. I would take it through undergrad in the UC system, and, as I was becoming interested in psychology I would take it into a volunteer position working with developmentally disabled individuals.
That experience primed me for the next few years of working in in-patient adolescent psychiatry. “Fun” was not exactly the right word for that work, but by then I was beginning to fall in love with the field of health care—especially mental health.
The advice Professor Mecke gave me carried me into grad school where I received a Masters degree in psychology and then a doctorate, Ph.D., in a dual track—community and clinical psychology—program.
By then it had become so much more than fun, it was much more about having a sense of purpose and meaning in my life. I moved to New York City, entered psychoanalytic candidacy at an intensive program on the Upper West Side, and became a fully-fledged psychoanalyst.
Currently, I maintain a full-time practice as an analyst and couples therapist, supervise students and candidates, publish academic articles, and am having an immense amount of fun writing commercially as a self-help author.
A whole career founded on a tidbit of wisdom that, on the first pass, seemed like a disposable expression of silliness? Why not? I now have piles of those journals in my office both detailing years of “making it fun” and making manifest the process itself.
Throughout the years, I’ve found that I do better—I think more clearly, am more emotionally attuned, and am generally more successful—when I maintain those journal diligently than when I don’t.
But really, I just wanted to maintain that C average and write and sing—OK, maybe scream—punk rock songs. But that advice, the same advice that I now give to my grammar and middle school girls now, “make it fun,” continues to transform my life and my experience of myself within it in ways that I cannot possibly prepare for.
Thank you, Char Mecke—and thanks mom for suggesting that I attend that class.
“Everything you need to know to be successful will be caught, not taught”
My first ghostwriting client, a serial technology entrepreneur, said, “Everything you need to know to be successful will be caught, not taught.”
Since founding my business in 2011, I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars to join premium masterminds run by successful entrepreneurs, but the fact is, my client was right: The most profitable success lessons I’ve learned came not from an instructor, professor, or teacher, but from experts quietly going about their business.
For example, I “caught” how to sell a high-ticket service from an entrepreneur who sold me on her high-ticket service. And I “caught” how to negotiate with a prospect by watching a business owner negotiate with me. In both cases, these “teachers” were simply being themselves, not showing up to teach me their trade’s tricks.
Every day, the world’s greatest show us how to follow in their footsteps, whether they intend for us to follow or not. All you have to do is “catch” on! So who has already achieved the goal you’ve set for yourself? Who is living the life you’ve seen yourself living someday? Don’t ask to pick their brain; ask to watch them work!
“Everything turns out for the best”
Ever since I was taken to see my first Broadway show at the age of seven, I wanted to be a scenic designer, the person who created those pretty stage backgrounds.
In later years, I was an apprentice for several seasons in summer stock in order to learn my craft. And, finally, years later, I got into Yale Drama School, the country’s most prestigious theater school at the time.
It was a three-year Master’s degree program. I was kicked out after the first year. I was basically told I had no talent. I was devastated. I called my mother in tears. Her advice was that “everything turns out for the best.”
It wasn’t very comforting at the time, but she was right, everything did turn out well. In fact, better than I could have expected at the time.
I went on to get in the scenic design union and became a designer at CBS-television where I was a designer for such national shows as Captain Kangaroo, Merv Griffin, and Captain Kangaroo.
Mom was right, after all. Everything did turn out for the best. It’s advice that helped me not only get through the Yale experience but many other trying times in my life as well.
“Results are more important than style”
Many years ago as a young general manager, I worked for a division of a ‘Fortune 100’ company. At an informal get-together, one of my bosses (a Senior VP of Operations) recounted a short list of the principles that he utilized in managing his people.
One of those principles stuck in my mind and became an important part of my personal leadership philosophy: “Results are more important than style.“
As leaders of business teams, most managers generally have multiple talents that have helped to make them successful; so it is likely, that as a group, they’ve developed numerous ways to successfully manage different types of business situations.
But too many leaders attempt to impose a ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy upon their subordinates, and that stifles creativity and innovation while frustrating younger employees who may see more progressive ways of approaching new business issues.
Some of those frustrated “junior” employees may decide to move on to organizations that will listen to their proposals — leaving behind their colleagues who simply follow orders without question.
In a competitive economic environment, losing motivated, creative employees likely puts an organization onto a path that leads to mediocrity. So while it wasn’t always feasible for me to utilize every good idea developed by my subordinates, I always encouraged the creative thinkers who worked for me. And I firmly believe that they often gave my unit a solid competitive edge!
“Make the day, don’t let the day make you”
The best advice I’ve ever received was a piece of throw-away conversation between the CFO and me. I was walking in from the parking lot to my office to start my day when I notice the CFO beside me.
He asked how I was doing, and I responded with my typically glib, “So far so good…but it’s early”. It was something I had said a thousand times if I said it once, and it usually drew a half-hearted chuckle out of whomever I was with, but not this time.
The CFO looked at me, now very serious and said, “Make the day, don’t let the day make you.” The idea stuck with me and gnawed at me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it’s implications.
What if the difference between having a bad day and having a good day was a choice? I finally figured that I had nothing to lose by trying so I did.
At first, it was hard, my entire nervous system was programmed to react with resentment, disappointment, and even anger at any setback, and I would have to reprogram it. Little by little, I started forcing myself to become optimistic and see the silver lining in life’s hardships.
Tragedies will befall us all from time to time—that is an immutable law of life—but we don’t have to carry those tragedies around with us for the rest of our lives. People will disappoint us, even betray us, but we don’t have to carry a grudge like it is our full-time job. It may sound trite, but forgiveness truly IS a gift we give ourselves, unfortunately, I came to that realization late in life.
We can’t always control the bad things that come into our lives but we always have a choice as to how we react to them. If we’re driving to work and someone cuts us off we can choose to either stay cool and move on, or we can let a complete stranger “make our day” for us—that’s just insanity! Why would we give control of our lives over to a stranger who drives poorly?
But perhaps what I love most about this advice is that it reminds us that we aren’t just hapless victims of circumstance, that we have a choice of whether or life is filled with misery and regret or brimming with joy and happiness.
Optimism is a choice. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” or something to that effect. Science has found that Lincoln’s assessment is generally correct.
So my advice to others is: Decide to be happy, in the grand scheme of things life is too short not to grab every bit of happiness we can find.
“Life is like a donut, don’t stare at the hole”
Some of the best advice I have ever received has come from the most unexpected conversations. One day I was visiting a well known published author in his home. His basement was this expansive library, it even had a desk in the center. All the books were categorized just like a library.
As we walked through the library together and I admired his collection and his career, I asked him what advice would he give to me? At the time, I had just become an executive at a multi-million dollar global non-profit and I thought he would bring some profound wisdom that would match his writings.
He smiled and said to me. Life is like a donut, don’t stare at the hole. I laughed out loud and made an inappropriate comment about Forrest Gump and was solemn when I realized he was serious.
We live in a world of consumption. Dress for the job you want. Drive to impress. Live in the best neighborhood. Send your children to get the best education possible. It is easy to continually focus on what we don’t have, or have yet to obtain. Rather, we can focus on the donut itself. What we do have.
I find myself looking at the gaps in my life. Sometimes they are income gaps, other times career gaps, maybe friendship gaps or event gaps, life goal gaps. But when I am able to pause and get another perspective, it is really humbling to realize what I do have.
My career has taken me to more than 14 foreign countries and almost every state in the United States of America. I have four children and a beautiful wife and great friends and good memories.
Rather than focusing on the gaps, I can focus on what I have and be grateful. The perspective of the donut, focus on what is there rather than what isn’t.
Lori Cheek
Founder & CEO, Cheekd
“Be prepared for a journey”
Nine years into the entrepreneurial hustle, I’ve learned that entrepreneurship is being on a mission where nothing can stop you. It will take twice as long as you’d hoped, cost exceedingly more than you’d ever budgeted and will be more challenging than anything you’ll ever try but if you give it your all and refuse to give up, you can trust it will be the ride of a lifetime.
I could be the poster child for the saying, “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” No matter what, this has been the most rewarding journey of my life and in the end, I’m going to have a magical story to tell.
My advice to other aspiring entrepreneurs is to be brave and follow your instincts. You can’t cheat the grind, but if you give it your all, you can trust that the payoff will be worth it.
“Surround yourself with the right people”
As a trained architect, I had no idea what I was getting into building a business. After coming up with the idea, I walked around in circles for over a year trying to figure out how to build my business and two guys came on board to help me (I couldn’t have made a worse choice of a team in my life).
They both had the same skill set, are no longer involved in my business and they owned nearly 20% equity. If I’d known what I know now that “team is everything“.
I just wish someone had told me the importance of having the right team surrounding me. The technical aspect of my business has been one of the bigger challenges I’ve faced and it’s the one thing I definitely would have approached differently from day one. I needed a CTO.
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”
My father always told me a kid, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” and that statement has proven so true after all these years.
One of the most fruitful tools in building my business over the past eight years is in the power of networking and taking every advantage possible to meet new people.
Efficiently communicating and never dismissing a single soul–you never know who you’re talking to, who they might know or how they’d be able to contribute.
“You don’t need to concern yourself with or try to please every single consumer out there”
The best piece of advice I’ve ever received came from my old business professor who still to this day acts as a mentor of sorts to me.
He told me to forget about the entire market in which my company operates. Instead, he told me to pick a lucrative sub-segment or niche of the industry and focus all my efforts on that.
By doing so, he told me my content and services would have a better chance of standing out in the marketplace and gaining traction.
Well, it turns out he was right on. Instead of focusing on mainstream or “sexy” consumer products, my business partner and I decided to pivot and focus on products like mattresses and home appliances that are not as exciting or exhilarating.
These sub-segments have proven to be quite fruitful. There’s less competition and our content seems to catch-on much quicker as a result. Overall, his advice is a big reason why I’ve been able to grow my business to well over seven figures.
I believe this piece of advice can be helpful to other entrepreneurs as well. The core principle is that you don’t need to concern yourself with or try to please every single consumer out there.
That’s going to be an uphill battle that you might not ever win.
Instead, pick off a segment of consumers and focus on making your product or service the best for those particular customers. For example, if you’re developing an app, no need to try to make it attractive for both women and men of all ages.
Instead, you’ll probably have more success if you focus on females in the 18-30 age range, for example. By employing this strategy, I think entrepreneurs will also have a much clearer vision of what they need to accomplish.
“Give yourself permission to say no”
I started a global branding and marketing firm 18 years ago and like most small business owners and entrepreneurs there are never enough hours in the day to fit everything in so when something has to give, it is usually time I have allocated for myself to exercise or just relax.
What I have come to appreciate and realize in my 50s is that “me time” is not a luxury or pampering like it was in my youth, now it is maintenance! I think that respecting my time on the calendar and taking myself as seriously as I take my most important clients is the least I can do for self-care because if I am not at my peak performance I am not going to be useful to anyone else either.
Give yourself permission to say no. Whether it means sleeping in (no to an alarm clock), getting a massage, taking a walk, or just turning off my phone and computer (no I will respond later on my own schedule), simple acts of letting myself relax and enjoy the moment are the very best gifts I can give myself.
You have to learn to disconnect from technology periodically and focus on cultivating human, face to face relationships. Meeting for coffee or lunch can accomplish so much more than e-mail exchanges, social media posts, etc. and it is a great way to get to know people better, their interests, hobbies, and dreams.
I have found that building relationships are what drives my business and technology supports them once they are solidified. Technology helps advance the conversation but it will never replace the human interaction that builds trust over time.
Early in my career, I had the good fortune to attend an event where Wayne Dyer was the keynote speaker. I was never much into the new age stuff that was his primary focus, but there were a few things that stuck with me from that day.
A specific point he made has been helpful on many occasions and I’ve shared it countless times over the years.
“Stress does not exist without your participation”
It’s an easy thing to say, but can be much harder to put into practice.
The general idea is that stress isn’t something out there in the world that’s making its way into our lives. If you are feeling stressed, that’s on you. You are choosing to react to a set of circumstances in a certain way. You could just as easily choose to react to those same circumstances in a different way that doesn’t cause you any stress.
This doesn’t mean that I never feel stress. Stress is a natural reaction that has some roots in biology. Our bodies identify risks (sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously) and send signals through the hormones cortisol and adrenaline to help us stay alive.
When we were living in caves and a big lion got close to us, it was helpful to have some chemical help to get us out of those situations through our fight or flight response.
Today, stress rarely comes from life-threatening situations and those same hormones cause all sorts of mental and physical problems if they’re present too often, or for too long. Using the power of choice to keep those hormones in check is critical if you want to have a happy and healthy life.
Clair Belmonte
Founder, Belmonte Digital Marketing
“You must enroll others in the possibility of you and your capabilities”
The best advice I’ve ever received is that, in order to be successful, you must first and foremost enroll others in the possibility of you and your capabilities.
I spent a lot of years thinking that my credentials were the only thing that could convince people I was worth their time, so I waited until I felt “good enough” to share with people what I was up to because I was so afraid that they would discover I failed.
However, when I was told my mentor that sharing my experiences and dreams with others gives them a reason to believe in me and an expectation to live up to. Since my integrity is crucial to me, I realized that by sharing my work with others in an authentic way, I allowed people in my life to stand for my success.
Plus, when I share my experiences, I create a meaningful and impactful relationship with everyone in my life, so they are more likely to share with me as well!
Connecting with people on this deeper level and being held accountable for my own success has transformed my business and my life in huge ways, which would have never happened without that advice.
“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; just go for it”
My first job out of college was as a tax preparer at a local accounting firm. A few months in, my boss asked me to ghostwrite a piece for him on the latest tax law changes and submit it to the editor of a local business journal.
“Wait, what? You realize that I just got this job, right? I’m 21 years old, and a few months ago I was a college student. I’m not qualified to put together this piece and give it straight to the editor!”
Here’s what he told me: “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; just go for it.“
So that’s what I did; I was not afraid; I just went for it. And what do you know? Later that month, my piece was published essentially as I had submitted it, with some stylistic edits here and there. Even though I wasn’t credited for the piece, I felt so proud!
Years later, I discovered that my boss and the editor were good friends, and my boss did actually end up taking a quick look at the article before it was published. But I think the lesson he was teaching me was that I shouldn’t be scared to make mistakes, even professionally.
Maybe I’m speculating here, but I think he understood that for the past 16 years of my life — from kindergarten to my senior year of college — I had been taught to be deathly afraid of making mistakes, and he wanted to break me of that mentality.
And this advice to not be afraid of making mistakes and just go for it has stuck with me throughout my career.
See, I recently did something that I never would have done if I was afraid of making mistakes: I quit my “good” accounting job to work on my personal finance blog full-time.
I knew full well that this decision could set me back career-wise if things didn’t work out. But you know what? Things did work out. I’m making more money as an entrepreneur than I ever did in the corporate world, and the future couldn’t be brighter.
Related: Overcoming Fear of Failure (Avoid these 3 Mistakes)
“Do what you do best, outsource the rest”
Begin outsourcing before you think you can afford it. Do what you do best, outsource the rest. And you must keep time in mind.
Sure, you can design a website well but will you do it faster than someone else could? Instead of believing you can do everything well, rather, paint a target around the arrow. This means to realize what you’re good at and build everything you do around that.
Despite what many of us were taught in school, you don’t have to be good at everything. Straight A’s in the real world is virtually impossible and even if you could do that, you’ll have wasted an incredible amount of time.
To advance society, we need to find what we’re best at and get on with it. Think of business as a collective of people (it is) and not just you. That’s how you’ll go far. Do what you do best, outsource the rest.
“Perfect is the enemy of done”
In a former life, I was a composition major (along with my other major in Computer Science) and my favorite Music professor and thesis advisor gave me the best piece of advice I’ve ever received: “Perfect is the enemy of done.“
I often struggled with finishing my pieces, not due to procrastination, but due to an overwhelming feeling that they were never good enough. The trouble (and this is also from that same professor) is that you acquire taste way, way earlier than you acquire talent. So you know that your piece isn’t perfect, but you don’t know how to get it to perfect yet.
This plays out in the technology sphere constantly. We’ve worked with innumerable clients who were never ready to launch because they were never 100% satisfied with the product. But at some point, you have to launch your idea or risk getting stuck in development hell.
We’ve seen so many teams spin the gears with constant redesigns and shifts in direction, endless lists of “must have” enhancements and a constantly moving Minimum Viable Product – it’s a nightmare.
The companies that succeed are the companies that launch. And the companies that launch are the ones who have an idea of a product in mind that, while not perfect, people will want to use. You can always update your product later (and update it based on real feedback from users, which is much more valuable). But at some point, you just have to launch the damn thing.
“Give more than you expect to receive”
The best advice that I ever received has been the root of my success in my personal and professional life: Give more than you expect to receive.
In life, we often seek out situations that are beneficial to us and that will help to push us forward. However, I have taken a different approach and seek ways to help others become successful.
I find joy in supporting others and providing them with the tools to achieve their goals. In the course of doing so, I have achieved more success for myself than I ever imagined.
Leaders create leaders and when you focus on building up other people, they, in turn, will support you and help to build your brand organically. Even when people chose not to reciprocate, I feel good knowing that I have helped someone along their journey.
It doesn’t hurt that I have monetized my assistance through books, consulting, and coaching which allows me to indulge in my gift of giving while also ensuring my bills are paid.
“Get some sleep”
A good night’s sleep is important to a good day’s work. Sleep deprivation is a chronic issue for many people. We are inundated with a variety of stresses in our lives which can keep us up at night, tossing and turning. Lack of sleep will cause poor work quality, errors, irritability, poor communication, forgetfulness and more.
People will just avoid wanting to work with you and your personal and professional relationships will suffer. Your professional reputation will be at risk and you won’t be given the opportunity to participate in or complete keen work projects.
Don’t make major decisions or work on important projects when you are over-tired. Sometimes it’s best to ‘wait till tomorrow’, a technique from Colin Powell’s book It Worked for Me. I know it does work for me, too. A new dawn will often have you seeing things in a better light.
Practice a good night-time routine. Recognize your stressors and learn how to manage them. There are a lot of sleep techniques and relaxation ideas out there. Have a good night and sleep tight!
Nicholas G. Muscat
Entrepreneur | Investor | Businessman | Owner, Aussiemoneyman
“Everything you do is marketing and hence you need to learn to sell”
The best advice I have received to date would have to be being told that everything you do is marketing and hence you need to learn to sell. This understanding and subsequent action of learning to sell have taken me to new heights.
For example, my day to day business dealings whether it be my partnerships, affiliations, sales, eCommerce stores or even my personal brand, these all require marketing skills, but this extends much further into our daily dealings.
Marketing is simply effective communication that produces results. With this definition, it is much easier to understand how marketing may just be the most important skill you ever learn and thus why this simple piece of information sits up at the top of my list of the best advice.
Philipp Wolf
Founder & CEO, Custify
“Leave your comfort zone”
The best advice that I received (and pursued) so far during my career was to leave my comfort zone of being a rather low-level technical employee and start learning everything around product management, marketing and the other business aspects of a company.
Without this advice, I would have never been able to start my own business down the road, and it helped me so much to get a full picture of what it means to run a company early on. I can encourage everyone to look beyond their horizon and be willing to leave the day-to-day comfort zone, it will open up many new possibilities in the future.
“Your network is your net worth”
This is probably one of the best advice that I heed until today. Over the years, I have invested in money, skills, and businesses, but the best investment made so far was investing in relationships.
We run a logistic and transportation company. The network I have built over the years has landed my business many huge deals from the people I know. It could be anyone – a friend from high school, a friend of a relative or a friend of a friend. Nothing beats having warm referrals coming up to you because you are someone familiar and reliable.
I have realized that aside from all the hustling and hard work, we sometimes depend a lot on opportunities that arise from our own network.
“Value begets value”
My former boss once told me this and it has really stuck with me. No matter what you are doing, think of the value you can offer first before thinking about getting anything in return.
In fact, successful companies today start off by bringing value to people before monetization. Facebook started with building a community and bringing people together. Google’s mission was to organize information and make them universally accessible and useful.
I find this appealing to almost anything at any point in life. When finding a job, think of what you can offer to the table before thinking about your own salary. When starting a business, think of what value you can bring to your customers before thinking about profitability.
“Everyone needs a coach”
Growing up I followed Bill Gates a lot. This is one of the quotes that helped me, or at least I think it did. Survivorship bias and all that.
“Everyone needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player.”
This changed my entire perception of life. I listened. I recognized that everyone has a voice, some unique and valuable insight – especially if you’re in a highly competitive industry where only the most brilliant minds are gathered.
During my formative years, I would make sure to listen to my direct boss and manager but I also recognize the value that my colleagues bring with their unique voice as well.
For many software engineers, Google is a top 1% goal. This is a success on its own but at the moment I’m pursuing my own goal and having an amazing time. Isn’t that what real success is? Pursuing one’s vision and enjoying the journey.
“Play now and pay later, or pay now and play later”
The best advice I ever received was from my step-dad growing up. He was a hot-tar roofer and by no means had it easy. He instilled in me from very early that you either ‘play now and pay later, or pay now and play later‘.
He knew that his biggest mistake in life was not paying attention in school or applying himself when he was younger. So I made sure to go towards the extreme ends of preparing myself for real life and it has paid off unbelievably well!
“The best sales technique ever is having a great product”
Some years ago I had one my first sales call. It was with the CEO of a notorious company. I was a bit nervous, so I told him:
“Look, I know you’re an experienced seller, you’ll probably spot every advanced sales technique if I use them. So… I’ll just be authentic.”
He replied: “Angelo, the best sales technique ever is having a great product.”
And his words stuck with me since then. Too many entrepreneurs focus on marketing. When truly marketing gets way more natural when you focus on your customers and delivering the best solutions possible to their problems.
The advice that drove me through my Olympic campaign, national trials and is there with me even in business now is the one I took from Lance Armstrong’s book when I was a teenager.
“Pain is just a temporary, quitting lasts forever”
For me, it always worked as a modified version of “never give up”. If I decide that something is important and has to be done it doesn’t matter what boarders around are or how tough it is at the moment. If I want to succeed I’ve to go through and stay strong.
Ketan Pande
Founder, GoodVitae
“Don’t compare yourself to others in tough times”
I got this advice from a friend/mentor, who is in his 40’s, and a TEDx speaker.
He said it’s quite damaging to compare yourself to others, who are doing good, while you are going through tough phases. Not only it hits your confidence, but you also end up taking a bad decision; as you sometimes blindly follow the path others have taken.
Thus, it’s better to work on the uniqueness of the problem that has created a tough time in your life and take a step accordingly.
The best advice we got was to build a lead generating asset. While most people in our industry send letters, cold call, and do Google AdWords, we focus on Search Engine Optimization to generate leads for our business.
SEO won’t produce leads for your business immediately, but over time your organic lead flow will increase, which will drastically improve your ROI on your business.
Focusing on a strategy like this allows you to step away from the marketing as your focus naturally ebbs and flows, or if you go on vacation, and your lead machine still produces leads without your involvement.
Nikola Roza
CEO and Owner, SEO for the Poor and Determined
“After every storm, there comes the sun again”
“Posle kise izadje sunce.” That is the best advice I ever received. And it came from my mother. Its literal meaning is, “After every storm, there comes the sun again“.
Life is a roller-coaster, ups, and downs; peaks and valleys. Smart and successful folks are those who don’t get too haughty when everything is going their way. and who don’t get depressed when things have taken a turn for the worse. It’s just another dark valley.
But look, already on the horizon there is a shiny peak bathing in sunlight. If you want to be successful, you need to know how to wait out the storm.
Reuben Yonatan
Founder and CEO, GetVOIP
“Look at me. Do you want this to be you?”
The best business advice I ever received was from a former mentor who had achieved all of the business success I had ever dreamed of–but, his personal life was in shambles. It might sound cliché, but it was a classic moment of, “Look at me. Do you want this to be you?“.
He didn’t say it to scare me away – and, that’s not at all what his advice was. Rather, he emphasized embracing the entrepreneur’s struggle with balancing the personal and professional life – constantly putting in the effort at home to ensure that I never lost sight of life’s true priorities.
While I cherish my business’ success, I will never prioritize it over family, and I’m so very grateful for that lesson learned, unfortunately at a former mentor’s expense.
“Never give up”
I started my entrepreneurial journey almost 10 years ago with the launch of Fantastic Services. For this period of time I’ve learned the hard way the do’s and don’ts of the businesses. Up to this day, the best advice I’ve ever got was to ‘never give up’.
No matter how trivial this sounds, it’s very important to keep on going even in the darkest hour. The road could get lonely and full of obstacles that you will need to overcome in order to truly make it. And believe me, there is no shortcut.
I’ve seen many entrepreneurs with great ideas that never work on them because they are afraid of competing with the big players. So whenever you are facing troubles, remember why you started in the first place, remember your goals and dreams. This will help you find the strength to get back on track and succeed.
“Are you receiving an education or a degree?”
Many years ago, while I was a sophomore in college, I received a remarkable piece of advice from my uncle. We usually don’t talk much but we were stuck in the car together for an hour so we had to converse and he started asking me about school. The thing that always stayed with me from that conversation was when he asked, “Are you receiving education or a degree?”
Until then, I hadn’t given my educational journey much reflection. This made me deeply reconsider what society deemed as vital (the degree) versus the thirst for knowledge (the education). To sum it up, don’t focus on paper accomplishments but rather the journey and positive impact it can have on your life.
My favorite life lesson quote is from Clayton Christensen, one of my heroes – he’s incredibly smart and has been a true promoter of disruptive innovation. It is a quote from his book, How Will You Measure Your Life:
“It’s easier to hold your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold them 98% of the time”
That quote is a more recent example of a life lesson I learned when I was a boy working on a ranch in Idaho. That life lesson was about the farmhand who said to his prospective farmer boss, “I can sleep when the wind blows.”
It is based on a story of a farmhand looking for work, the farmer takes a risk and hires the young man with the strange saying, and when the first big storm hits the farm in the middle of the night the farmer wakes up to make sure everything is properly secured to avoid any damage from the storm.
He tries to awaken the farmhand, but he just rolls over and stays asleep. The farmer runs out and looks around the place and sees everything prepared for the storm. This farmhand acted like a storm was coming every night, so prepared appropriately and slept soundly every night.
I have used this story as motivation to take advantage of every opportunity I have, to essentially be prepared for any storm that may occur. I’ve tried to do my best in every venture I’ve undertaken, with plenty of failures, but I keep motivating myself to be an innovator.
“Fail faster”
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was to fail faster. Back when I worked in the game design industry, I started my first job by spending weeks and weeks writing a detailed design doc, without ever building a proof of concept to see if the game was even any fun.
In business, as in game design, it’s extremely easy to get caught up in the “it has to be perfect” mentality, which delays our ability to serve our clients and makes it all about us.
When we operate from the fail faster mentality instead, it takes the pressure off, we can get out of our own way, and best of all, we have fun with it. It shifts the entire mindset from creating a perfect product to experimenting and trying new ideas. Operating with a fail faster mentality has been a complete game changer for our business.
Hamiz Mushtaq Awan
Founding Partner, Plutus21
This will sound crazy but the best piece of advice I got was from watching Batman – The Dark Knight Rises. In the scene when Batman is trying to escape Bane’s prison, I found the inspiration that changed the course of my business. The quote that moved me the most was:
Doctor: ‘How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible, without the most powerful impulse of the spirit? The fear of death.’
I feel the common advice about keeping your options open has killed more startups than anything else. What entrepreneurs do not realize is that unless you have a true fear of failure, you can never truly succeed.
The worst-case scenario for skilled, college graduates doing startups is that if they fail, they will become more hireable and get a comfortable corporate job.
That safety net drags them down and holds back their potential. You have to burn all your bridges and put yourself in a vulnerable position to achieve great things. Why are so many of the most successful entrepreneur’s misfits who dropped out of college and left promising careers?
Like Batman, you have to make the climb without the rope there to save you if you fall. That is the only way to make it out of prison. Normalizing failure, as many people do today, is not the path to achieving peak success. Find something you are passionate about and risk everything for it.
“Life is short”
The best advice I have ever received: “Life is short.” That may seem too plain and simple, but the truth behind that advice is far beyond what many people can comprehend.
Many people chase fame and fortune, but once they get there they are never satisfied. They think if they just had a little bit more, then they will be happy.
The fact of the matter is life is too short to take anything for granted. We can always work hard to get where we want to go, as it is good to have dreams, but it is also important to be grateful for everything you have in the present moment.
As an entrepreneur, it is tempting to want to work a lot of hours because I want to see my company succeed, but then I am reminded of why I co-founded Calendar in the first place: to have more time to spend with what truly matters — friends and family.
The point of the productivity tool is to help others realize this, too, and to get back to prioritizing those that will be there for them through thick and thin. Life is short. Those three words can truly change how we all decide to look at how and with whom we spend our time.
Related: Why Is Work-Life Balance so Important in Today’s World?
When it comes to the best advice I have ever received that has made me successful throughout my journey was taught to me by my father. When it comes to mistakes he told me to value the time, effort and process of error to be able to collect on the reward.
Instead of viewing a mistake as an issue, I was taught to embrace it and it has pulled me through many challenges over the years. Once you have changed your thought process of looking at something, things can become clearer.
When I was training to be a pro wrestler, my trainer told me, “The ass you kick on the way up, is the ass you kiss on the way down.“
This refers to the idea of when in life, you’re climbing your way to the top, you will be passing by someone that either let you get there or help you. Either way, don’t forget to show proper respect or appreciation as you gain more success to those that assisted you or had your back because they will always remember how you treated them.
It’s Manners 101: Don’t be a jerk… EVER. People will never forget how someone treats them – good or bad – and those interactions will ultimately shape that person’s viewpoint, which can be extremely hard to alter.
You have to work as a team in everything you do. Sometimes, someone will always get more praise (or “shine” as we call it) than others. Still, it doesn’t mean the person in the limelight should get blinded by their success.
Kristi Andrus
Writer | Head Coach & CEO, LUXICoach.com
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for”
The best advice I’ve ever received is very simple: Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
I use it as a touchstone to keep me focused on high-return activities, to take action to continue to strengthen my foundation, invest in my future, or pave the way for my children.
That might mean learning something new, reconciling something that’s been bothering me, putting more money away, taking risks when I’m getting comfortable, reinvesting in my health, or building a strong connection with my family.
To me, it means doing the best you can right now and doing better when you know better. It’s planting the seed with no promise that you’ll get to sit under the tree, but being inspired by knowing that someone will, and when they do, they will likely send up a little prayer of gratitude.
“Ask more questions”
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was this. “Dave, you should ask more questions.” Here are the reasons why it was so great. It helped me personally because people saw that I was interested in them personally.
I also learned about my friends more than I had before. It helped me in my business to learn more about it and to make better decisions. A lot of my people have great ideas, but don’t present them unless asked.
“Trust your gut, even when it makes no sense”
The best advice I ever received was from a mentor of mine who was a concentration camp survivor and psychiatrist. He told me, “Trust your gut, even when it makes no sense.“
Don’t be talked out of it, don’t try to rationalize it, and don’t try to make sense of it. His advice was to just pay attention and honor it, and it will serve you well in every area of your life…and he was right.
From the person I married over 10 years ago, to the business deals I decide to take or decline, I always think critically about the decisions that I make, but I also “listen to my gut.”
As an entrepreneur who works with executives in tech and finance both in NYC and San Francisco, I’ve been so fortunate. Both personally and professionally, this advice has been a cornerstone of my decision-making, and I’m happy to pass it along to individuals today.
It’s hard to ignore those nagging voices in your head that hold you back. I’ve spent much of high school, then college, and even into my first job second-guessing so many of my decisions. I’d ask co-workers to over-proof things that should have been automatic on my end, and even if they were acceptable, I’d still panic for the next iteration.
After years of professional self-doubt and personal anxiety, I had a therapist tell me:
“You can talk back louder to the voices in your head that say ‘you can’t.’”
It changed my life. Despite the tongue-in-cheek reference to voices, it made me realize I can be louder than my detractors, even if the biggest enemy to my success is a lack of confidence. Volume and realizing my own voice had worth changed the trajectory of my life.
I coupled that with a five-year review comment from my boss. When I outlined my anxieties and fear in the workplace, she shared three words of advice: “I trust you.” She followed up with what that trust meant, and then the real advice came: I had used her trust in me to ultimately then trust myself.
Realizing I was no longer entry-level at this point and way past anything probationary, I valued her trust in me, which I then fostered into self-confidence. While it never reached the hubris level, I was able to clear her inbox from my need for feedback and just own my work output.
“Keep trying again and again”
It was my sister who told me to persevere and not to give up so easily. It could have been so easy to give up at the start as we were our first client away from shutting up shop. Yesterday, 11 years after our amazing journey began, we announced another 50 new jobs in top roles. We are growing so fast that we will need our new people to start right away.
I was employee No.1 and it is incredible to have witnessed the growth of the business and what has been achieved in 25 different countries. If you believe in something and you want to make a success of it, you have to keep trying again and again.
We became one of the most respected names in our industry in the world by continuing to be brave. You have got to give it all you have got as you might never get another chance. Success comes from hard work and perseverance.
Marta Ceccato
Business and Marketing Strategist, Sapiens Media Coaching
“Perfectionism kills success”
This is the best piece of advice I have ever received.
I have been battling the “all or nothing” mindset that prompts setting impossibly high standards for years. Being obsessed with perfectionism means that I struggle to delegate; I find it difficult to rest as “the job is never done” – and the job is never done because to me it’s never perfect.
I don’t take many risks and if I can’t do it perfectly then I am inclined to think it’s not even worth trying. I personally believe that perfectionism can be more of a vice than virtue as it can prevent us and our business from growing.
So, whenever the “all or nothing” mindset kicks in ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” and “What could you be missing out on?”
Related: Why Done Is Better Than Perfect?
Marissa Frosch
Head of Marketing at Amphibian Press | Certified Book Launch Coach
“Inch forward, every single day, and you’ll get there”
I’ve received a lot of great advice in the last several years in publishing. But the best thing anyone ever told me was, “Inch forward, every single day, and you’ll get there.“
My mentor Tim Grahl told me that and it changed everything. I was suddenly allowed to do one small thing every day to move in the direction of my dreams and reach my goals and that counted.
I didn’t have to beat myself up for not doing these incredible things on a daily basis. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and forget what you’re doing it all for. Tim changed my life and my business.
“Treat every single person you deal with as if he or she matters more than anyone else on earth”
There are so many formal ideas regarding business advice and success, but those have not made the biggest impact on my life’s journey and me. The advice that truly inspired my vision and drive were offered humbly within the walls of my childhood home.
From the time I was a young boy, the patriarch of our family, my grandfather, Charlie, was revered and respected for his incredible insight and his humble advice.
When he spoke, he spoke from his heart and I relished every valuable word and this advice, his advice, has been the foundation of my personal and professional life, “Treat every single person you deal with as if he or she matters more than anyone else on earth. Be it family, friend, customer, colleague or client, give that person the very best that you have to give in that moment.”
I have lived by these simple words of wisdom and recommend them to anyone with dreams, drive and the desire to make an impact.
“You’re better than this”
– all of my friends.
As a female entrepreneur, I used to not be confident. I thought I needed to partner in order to succeed, and that people would not take me seriously because I am young and female. This was the limiting narrative that leads me down the track of creating mediocre businesses with mediocre people.
As it turns out, everyone close to me kept saying to break free. The second I did I was immediately better off. Without any real plan, one day I just had enough. That same day I started a new, and immediately more successful business alone. That lead to becoming one of the first female venture capitalists, and now, I’ve got my hands in a portfolio of successful businesses.
I figured out that the key was simply this: if you think something is holding you back, it is. Whether it’s a mindset or other people, there is no time like the present to break free. You’ll be better off.
“Be comfortable with being uncomfortable”
This is the advice I was given, and to me, this is the key to reaching one’s Promised Land. This small quote opened my eyes to the reason why I had failed in several previous endeavors. It’s very true that we are all creatures of habit.
Human nature is to avoid pain and to run to pleasure. We all get intimidated when a step to reaching our dreams does not resound with our natural strengths. At this point, we either become comfortable with being uncomfortable, or we escape by avoiding, giving up, or compromising and taking a short cut.
I have been guilty of avoiding, shutting down, or even procrastinating. I’ve found myself checking social media, email, and taking a nap rather than tackling “that thing” that is standing in my way.
All of this behavior of escape/avoidance obviously gets us nowhere. Anxiety and fear of the unknown are normal! But true courage is embracing that feeling of uncomfortable-ness and completing the task at hand.
As a musician/artist and also a Licensed Professional Counselor, I ended up being my own therapist. I really had to examine my own self-talk. I realized that when I became uncomfortable, I spawned a negative mindset by catastrophizing (thinking the worst possible conclusion) or by predicting the future (believing I knew how things are going to turn out).
This type of mindset usually leads to bad decisions or even no decisions at all. When I embraced the feeling of being uncomfortable and acknowledged that it was an opportunity to grow and get a few steps closer to my dream, I was able to achieve many great things.
I have a successful counseling practice, I just released my debut album, I recently performed in front of 20,000 people, I speak at conferences, and I have even mended broken relationships.
These are all things that would never have been possible had I given in to the temptation to just “be comfortable”. So to me, the advice to “be comfortable with being uncomfortable” has truly changed my life.
“Keep creating—never stop”
As an indie musician, the process of finding listeners, fans and eventually superfans for one’s music can be challenging and relies on independent work above and beyond the primary process of writing/recording/performing your music. It can be challenging, if not daunting, to navigate the process of music marketing, promotion and fanbase building by yourself.
In the early days of the formation of our band, Across The Board, we were mostly focused on creating high-quality music that would appeal to people, and yet, fit the genre we consider our own.
We were confused as to whether we should create music that we feel people would like to hear, or if we should create music we would like to play—or if these two trajectories were not in fact mutually exclusive.
We spent a great deal of time researching the “moves” of other successful indie artists and signed bands alike—trying to see what exactly they did to achieve the results they had. There did not seem to be much of a common thread.
A great deal of unmeasurable and unplannable events seemed to be at the heart of their success—a viral video on YouTube, a chance meeting with a famous celebrity, a share or a tweet by a famous influencer—events difficult to reproduce since there were so many subjective components to the “sharing” of third-party art and music with an influencer’s fan base.
Short of paying these individuals to share our music, which seemed to defeat the purpose of creating an organic genuine fanbase of listeners, we couldn’t seem to find the algorithm for “making it”.
Out of sheer frustration and angst, we turned to a friend, the recently deceased Mike Taylor (Beard Guy) from the Canadian band “Walk Off The Earth”, for pearls of wisdom.
He had but one—“Keep creating—never stop”. He suggested that the sheer process of continuing to create original music, covers, music videos, vlogs, and reaching out on all social media platforms with our own content—content we believed in—would help us organically find fans that also believed in our music.
Writing and producing the music we love, the music we enjoy playing and listening to and doing this often and unrelenting, was his advice.
We stopped trying to “fit in”, or take advantage of trends, and simply started creating projects that brought us joy and that we were proud of. It was then, that we started to see significant growth in our fanbase, interest in our music, awards and accolades and nominations for awards.
As with anything in life—do what makes you happy. Be the best version of yourself—don’t try to emulate someone else. Be unique, be genuine, and do this often.
Melinda Salzke-Spurr
Mindset Mentor and Spiritual Life Coach
“Money doesn’t solve money problems”
I was working as a stripper in an upmarket gentleman’s club. My client one evening was a very successful businessman, owner of a $3.2 billion dollar empire. He paid for my time as we drank and chatted.
At one point, the conversation turned to the usual: ‘How did someone like you end up working doing this?’. Though it was only part of the reason I chose the profession, a story of financial hardship was generally enough to satisfy a client and stop them asking more personal questions.
I ended up with a lot of debt when one of my early relationships ended, I explained. He nodded sympathetically, ‘So you contracted an STD? Sexually Transmitted Debt.’ I laughed, and then as an afterthought added, ‘That was some time ago though. It’s probably not fair of me to keep blaming my current financial problems on my past.’
He looked at me earnestly. ‘Money doesn’t solve money problems‘, he said.
This was the most important piece of business advice I ever received. I realized that just ‘making more money’ wasn’t going to be enough for me to be successful in business or in life. I had to improve my mindset, modify my behaviors, and commit to overcoming my own limiting habits and excuses.
Otherwise, I’d continue to sabotage the money that came my way and stay stuck in the struggle cycle of living pay to pay. And so I did. I committed to the inner work. I ended my sabotaging behaviors around money.
“Mind your own business”
The best advice I have ever received– “Mind your own business.”
This was a life-changing moment for me because as a serial entrepreneur with a heart, it seemed like I should be doing more, helping more, and expand more. But my mentor stopped me in my track of derailment by just saying those four words.
I took it to heart and reflected. Giving without the balance of receiving is a recipe for a burnout future. The advice led me to re-affirm my mission and motivation of why I started Self-ish Lifestyle in the first place.
The act of ‘minding my own business’ to my best capability rippled outwards organically which allowed me to help, expand, and do more for the community–but it starts with me.
“When it is time to sow, sow and when it is time to harvest, you will harvest”
A valuable popular saying that really fits the business world is ‘When it is time to sow, sow and when it is time to harvest, you will harvest.‘ This means we should work hard and take every opportunity, but also learn that things take time and we must learn how to wait.
Sometimes, when working on something, we can get too anxious and focus too much on results. However, the greatest ideas are usually long-term plans, so it’s very significant learning how to plan things some years from now. If you’re doing the right thing, the positive results you’re looking for will come.
Of course, thinking in the long term is quite an exercise. It requires patience and an optimistic attitude. Do your best and plan how you want things to be in the small, medium and long terms. Always have in mind that the stuff you’re currently working on might only have an impact some years from now.
Depending on your project, it could even take a decade. Withal, the best way to face your long-term plans is seeing them as a road rather than an espresso machine that you push, and the results start to appear.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I create my own best advice based on my experience?
Absolutely! In fact, creating your own best advice based on your experiences can help you reflect on your journey and draw out your own personal wisdom. Here are some tips for creating your own best advice:
Reflect on your experiences. Take time to reflect on your own experiences and the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Think about the challenges you’ve faced, the successes you’ve achieved, and the lessons you’ve learned.
Identify common themes. Look for common themes or patterns in your experiences. Are there certain behaviors or actions that contributed to your success? Are there certain mistakes or missteps that you have made repeatedly?
Distill your advice. Once you have identified common themes, distill your advice into a few key insights or principles. Consider what advice you’d give to your younger self or someone facing similar challenges.
Share your advice. Once you have distilled your advice, share it with others. You never know who might benefit from your wisdom and insights. Perhaps your advice will inspire someone to take action or see their own experience in a new light.
Your best advice is unique to you and your experiences. Don’t be afraid to trust your own insights and intuition and share your wisdom with others.
Is it good to always give advice?
While giving advice can be helpful in many situations, it is essential to remember that not all cases require advice, and not all people want or need to hear it. Here are some things to consider when deciding whether or not to give advice:
Context: Before giving advice, consider the context of the situation. Is the person asking for advice? Is it a situation that requires immediate action, or is it something that can wait? Understanding the context will help you determine whether or not your advice is appropriate.
The Person: Not everyone is receptive to advise, and some people feel defensive or dismissive when they receive it. Before giving advice, consider the person’s personality, communication style, and emotional state. Be sure to approach the situation respectfully and empathetically.
Expertise: While it is natural to want to give advice based on your own experience and knowledge, it is important to recognize when you are not the best person to give advice.
If the situation requires specialized knowledge or expertise, it may be better to refer the person to a professional or someone with more experience in that area.
Potential impact: Giving advice can significantly impact a person’s decisions and actions. Before giving advice, consider the possible consequences and make sure you agree with the potential impact it may have.
What do successful people have in common?
Successful people often share some common traits and habits that contribute to their success. Here are some of those:
Focus: Successful people usually have a clear goal in mind and focus their energy and attention on achieving their goals.
Persistence: They do not give up easily when faced with obstacles or setbacks. Instead, they remain persistent and find creative solutions to overcome challenges.
Positive mindset: Successful people usually have a positive outlook on life and an “I can do it” attitude. They see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning rather than insurmountable obstacles.
Passion and drive: They are often passionate about what they do and have a strong drive and motivation to achieve their goals.
Continuous learning: Successful people constantly seek new knowledge and skills to improve themselves and their work. They are open to feedback and willing to learn from their mistakes.
Networking: Successful people usually have a strong network of colleagues, mentors, and advisors who support and guide them throughout their careers.
Time management: Successful people tend to be very well organized and efficient with their time. They prioritize their tasks and focus on the most essential activities that help them achieve their goals.
Remember that success is a complex and multi-faceted concept, and there are many ways to achieve it. However, these commonalities can serve as a valuable guide for anyone who wants to achieve their own definition of success.
Why is it important to share your success?
To inspire others: Sharing your success with others can inspire and motivate them to pursue their own goals and dreams. Your success can be a powerful example of what is possible with hard work and dedication.
Build relationships: Sharing your success with others can help you build stronger relationships with colleagues, mentors, and peers. There can be a sense of camaraderie and mutual support that can be beneficial throughout your career.
Gain recognition: Sharing your success with others can help you gain recognition and visibility in your industry or field. This can lead to new opportunities and career advancement.
Express gratitude: By sharing your success with others, you can also express your gratitude and appreciation for the support and guidance you have received along the way. This allows you to acknowledge the contributions of others and give back to your community.
Promote a culture of success: When people share their success with others, it can create a culture of success in an organization or community. It can encourage others to strive for excellence and support each other in achieving their goals.
Sharing your success does not have to be boastful or self-centered. It can be done in a humble and authentic way that focuses on the journey and the lessons you have learned along the way.
Why is it important to learn and take advice from successful people?
It is vital to learn and take advice from successful people because they have already gone through the process of success and can provide valuable insight and advice.
By learning from the experiences of successful people, you can gain new perspectives and approaches to achieving your own goals. Here are some concrete reasons why:
Gain new insights and knowledge: Successful people have often overcome challenges and achieved their goals through hard work and dedication.
Learning from their experiences and taking their advice can help you gain new insights and knowledge that can be valuable for your own personal and professional growth.
Avoid common mistakes: By learning from successful people, you can avoid common mistakes and pitfalls that can derail your progress. Successful people have often made mistakes and learned from them, and they can offer valuable advice on avoiding similar missteps.
Expand your network: Successful people often have a strong network of colleagues, mentors, and advisors who can provide valuable guidance and support. Learning from successful people can help you expand your own network and connect with people who can help you achieve your goals.
Stay motivated and inspired: Learning from successful people can be a source of motivation and inspiration. Hearing about their successes and how they overcame challenges can help you stay focused and motivated on your own journey.
Build confidence: By taking advice from successful people, you can boost your own confidence and belief in your ability to achieve your goals. Knowing that others have succeeded through hard work and dedication can give you the confidence to pursue your dreams.