Sex word of the day

Here on Smitten, we toss around the word sex so often it feels downright unnatural if we go a few sentences without working it in. But there was a time when that three-letter-word wasn’t quite as common—and new research shows just when and how that little word has been used over the last 200 years in print. Interested in the history of our favorite word? Read on.

Dred.com, an online doctor community in the United Kingdom, analyzed the Corpus of Historical American English—an online database of more than 100,000 fiction, nonfiction, and periodical documents from 1810 to 2009—for its study on word use. With that out of the way, prepare to be shocked: The word *sex *peaked between 1810 and 1825, when it was used 250 million times across the texts. Comparatively, *sex *can be found about half that often in 2009.

Obviously, back in the day the word sex was used mostly in biological terms—in other words, someone’s sex was male or female. «Sex,» according to the study, begins to appear in text in sexual terms in 1948, shortly after the Kinsey Institute released its initial reports on human sexuality. Even then, the word sex was associated with education, and not necessarily fun.

Turns of phrases such as «sex appeal,» «oral sex,» and «sex and nudity» worked their way into texts in the late 20th century, according to the study, while the term «sex partners» entered modern-day language in the 1980s, due in part to the HIV and AIDS epidemic of that decade.

And orgasm? Well that word didn’t make its first appearance in text until 1930. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you view it),*orgasm *and the word *fake *weren’t linked together in text until the 1970s. We say if there’s a similar study in the future, we do our best to strike that pairing from the books forever.

If you’re anything like me, your earliest sex vocab lessons probably came from one of three sources: kids at school, Urban Dictionary, and/or sitting in on your older cousins’ game of Cards Against Humanity at Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, as you’ve probably figured out, those resources are maybe not the most reliable in terms of um, actually educating you on the incredibly nuanced world of sex and the language we use to talk about it. The good news? Now you have us—and this comprehensive, no-BS list of all the must-know sex words that belong in your sexual vocabulary.

And yes, we know that you’re probably a lot older and wiser now than back in the day when you rushed home from middle school to google, “What does eating out mean?” Chances are you’ve probably already figured out what a lot of these things mean just by being an adult who doesn’t happen to live under an actual rock.

But when it comes to sex words and terms, there’s always something new to learn. Language, like pretty much everything else, evolves—and so do the lived realities of sex-having humans and the way we understand and relate to those realities. Thus, new words are constantly being coined to describe those experiences and identities. Naturally, this means there are more terms, sex acts, slang words, and sexual orientations to add to your lexicon in order to stay relevant at best, and straight up non-problematic at least.

That’s where our handy sex word glossary comes in. Some of these words are slang, some are sexualities, some are positions and sex acts, and some are kinks or fetishes. (There’s a lot of sex stuff to know about!) What they all have in common is that they’re all important to know for exploration and representation. Not only that, but some words and labels that used to be «cool» (or at least non-offensive) are now very much not cool, and some umbrella terms have now been expanded upon to better represent different communities. Don’t worry—we’ll explain it all! (It’s kind of our job, and we kind of—read: totally—love it.)

Also! As you’re reading, it may be helpful to know that many of these sex word definitions are actually abbreviated descriptions from their own stand-alone page in our Sexopedia section. So if you come across something you want to know more about, just click on the word to dive deeper. Whether you’re totally new to the world of sex words or you have a sexual vocabulary so robust you’re pretty sure you could write a sex dictionary of your own, we can almost guarantee there’s something new on this list for everyone to learn. Now go forth and educate thyself!

Your List of Sex Words, Right This Way…

Abrosexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone whose sexual preferences and/or attraction changes over time. This could look like someone who has once said they are bisexual later coming out as asexual.

Aegosexual: Part of the asexual spectrum (more on that below) aegosexuality is generally defined as a disconnect between the self and the object or experience of one’s sexual arousal. While aegosexual people have the ability to experience sexual attraction, arousal, and desire in response to sexual stimuli, they likely lack any inclination to participate in those scenarios or even to imagine themselves in them.

AFAB: Assigned female at birth.

Allosexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone who experiences any type of sexual attraction to someone or something.

AMAB: Assigned male at birth.

Amazon (position): An advanced sex position that’s a combination between missionary and cowgirl. The bottom partner lies down on their back with their knees bent up in the air, and the top partner gets between their legs and slowly lowers down onto their partner. Both parties are intertwined, and the top partner uses their knees and hands for balance.

Anal Sex: Most commonly refers to anal penetration, typically with a penis but could also be with a strap-on.

Anorgasmia: The inability to have an orgasm.

Apothisexual: Used interchangeably with the term “sex-repulsed,” apothisexual people fall on the asexual spectrum and are repulsed by the idea of sex that involves them. However, they are typically fine with others engaging in sex or sexual activities that don’t involve them.

Asexual: A person who doesn’t experience sexual desire. They can be attracted to someone but don’t feel the need to get physically intimate with them.

Asexual Spectrum: The asexual spectrum, commonly abbreviated as “ace-spec” or “a-spec,” refers to sexual identities and orientations that fall under the asexual umbrella. Just as there are many different ways to experience sexuality, there are a variety of ways people might experience asexuality, and there are a number of different asexual identities that describe that diverse array of asexual experiences.

A-Spot: A protrusion of the cervix into the vagina that creates a little «pleasure pocket.» Sometimes referred to as the female degenerated prostate.

Autosexual: Someone who feels a sexual attraction toward themselves.

Bareback: Having sex without a condom. This is risky and kind of dangerous, as it increases your chances of STIs and/or pregnancy.

BDSM: An acronym that stands for any or all of the following: bondage and discipline; dominance and submission; sadism and masochism.

Bisexual: Defined by GLAAD as someone who “has the potential to be physically, romantically, and/or emotionally attracted to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.”

Blow Job: When someone puts their partner’s penis into their mouth and proceeds to suck and lick it for the penis-haver’s pleasure. Also called oral sex, fellatio, or “going down on” someone. The female version is called cunnilingus.

Blue Balls: As a slang term (aka not a medical term), “blue balls” refer to the pain someone feels in their scrotum from prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. Blue balls are not dangerous, not actually a medical condition, and don’t cause any long-term damage, nor do the balls turn a blue shade.

Bulge: The visible outline of a penis through someone’s pants.

Butt Plug: An anal sex toy shaped like a teardrop meant to be placed or “plugged” into one’s butthole.

Ceterosexual: Someone who’s attracted to a person who is non-binary, transgender, and in some cases, anyone who isn’t cisgender. You may hear people use the term «skoliosexual» also, but this is no longer appropriate since “skolio” means “crooked” in Latin.

Circumcision: The removal of the foreskin of the penis to reveal the head. The procedure typically happens when the person is a baby, although it can sometimes be performed during adulthood for medical reasons, religious reasons, or just because a person wants it.

Cishet: A broad term used to describe someone who is both cisgender and heterosexual.

Comphet: Stands for «compulsory heterosexuality,» and is the harmful notion that heterosexuality is the only valid sexuality and that everyone should be/is expected to be straight. This feeling is a result of heteronormativity.

Cosplay: Short for “costume play” and refers to dressing up as one of your favorite characters from pop culture and taking on the persona of that character.

Cowgirl: A sex position where you have your legs on the outside of your partner’s hips and face them.

Creampie: The non-dessert definition is when semen visibly drips out of a vagina or anus after ejaculation during sex.

Cum Shot: A term used in pornography referring to the moment someone with a penis ejaculates, usually on their partner, where the semen can easily be seen.

Cunnilingus: A fancy word that means oral sex when performed on someone with a vagina. The giver uses their lips and tongue to concentrate on the person’s vulva and clitoris.

Cupiosexual: A word that falls under the larger asexual spectrum that describes someone who still desires a sexual relationship, despite feeling little to no attraction.

Deep Throating: A blow job technique where the giver puts as much of the penis into their mouth as they can (sometimes the whole penis), which can sometimes cause gagging or even vomiting.

Demisexual: A sexual orientation that defines a person who needs to feel a strong emotional connection with someone in order to feel any sexual attraction to them. In other words, demisexual people are capable of sexual attraction but only in specific circumstances.

Diaphragm: A contraceptive device that sits at the opening of the cervix to block sperm.

Dirty Sanchez: An act where someone puts their finger into their partner’s ass, then wipes any fecal matter that may transfer onto their finger over that person’s lip, resulting in a poop mustache. FWIW, it’s generally accepted that this act is more urban legend than something you’d actually encounter in the bedroom.

Dirty Talk: Talking about sex acts with your partner in an explicit, arousing way before or while engaging in sex acts.

Doggy-Style: A sex position where the receiver is on their hands and knees while their partner enters them from behind.

DTR: An acronym that stands for «define the relationship.» It’s an initiated conversation with your partner(s) to agree on what type of relationship you want together.

Edge Play: Extreme sexual activity that falls under the BDSM umbrella. It involves trying riskier activities and oftentimes consensual physical or psychological pain for pleasure, arousal, and stimulation.

Edging: Refers to delaying an orgasm for as long as possible with the goal of having an ultimately more intense climax.

Erogenous Zones: Areas of the body such as the neck and ears that experience heightened sensitivity to touch and generate a sexual response.

Erotic Hypnosis: Also known as «hypno sex,» erotic hypnosis is a form of hypnosis that increases sexual desire, sexual feelings, and sexual responses.

Ethical Non-Monogamy: Know also as «ENM,» it’s the practice of having multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the knowledge, consent, and agreement of all parties involved.

Face-Sitting: When someone dangles their genitals over their partner’s mouth to receive oral sex.

Facial: When referring to the sex definition of a facial, it’s when a penis-haver ejaculates semen onto their partner’s face.

Fingering: When someone uses their fingers to stimulate their partner’s clitoris and/or vagina in order to bring them to orgasm or give them pleasure.

Fluid Bonding: A conscious decision made between/among sexual partners to forgo barrier methods (like condoms) during sex and share bodily fluids.

Foot Fetish: A sexual interest in feet. A person with a foot fetish may be aroused by touching, licking, rubbing, kissing, sucking, and massaging of feet.

Foot Job: Similar to hand jobs, but involves using feet rather than hands to rub and stimulate a partner’s genitals.

Foreplay: Everything you do before intercourse, like making out, holding each other while spooning, cute lil neck smooches, fingering, oral sex, spanking, humping, dirty talk, or even just sending a sext prior to pants coming off.

Fraysexuality: A sexual identity associated with losing sexual attraction to a person once an emotional bond is formed.

Golden Shower: Also called “water sports” and refers to a sex act involving urine. This can mean peeing on your partner, in front of your partner, near your partner, or having your partner pee on/near/in front of you.

Greysexual: Also called graysexual, grey-ace, or gray-ace, greysexuality falls within the asexual spectrum and defines individuals who experience sexual attraction and sexual feelings very rarely—anywhere from a few times in their whole life to anything more frequently.

Hand Fetish: Also known as quirofilia and cheirophilia, a hand fetish is a sexual interest in hands. The interest can be in the whole hand itself or specific parts like the palms, fingers, or nails.

Hand Job: Using your hand to stimulate someone’s penis until orgasm.

Heteroflexible: Someone who is typically attracted to the opposite gender but also open to having same-sex experiences and/or is occasionally attracted to their own gender.

Heteronormativity: The problematic worldview that makes it (wrongly) seem like all relationships are between cisgender, heterosexual people. This detrimentally promotes heterosexuality as the «normal» or default sexual orientation.

Hickey: Also known as a “love bite.” A hickey is caused by one person sucking the other’s skin (usually on their neck) until small blood vessels burst, creating a patch of discoloration, aka a bruise.

Hypergamy: Dating or marrying someone you think is more successful and/or secure than you, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Jelqing: The practice of stroking the penis when erect in a particular way to increase its size. This is a similar concept to using a penis pump.

Kitchen Table Polyamory: When all members of a polycule have or are expected to have a friend-like relationship, enough so that everyone could, in theory, sit around to share a meal together.

Masturbation: The act of touching or manipulating one’s own genitals for pleasure, which can result in an orgasm.

Metamours: Your lover’s lover in a non-monogamous relationship—aka your wife’s boyfriend, your girlfriend’s girlfriend, and/or your boyfriend’s casual hookup buddy.

Mile-High Club: Refers collectively to anyone who has ever had sex on a plane.

MILF: An acronym that stands for “Mom I’d Like to Fuck.”

Missionary: A sex position where one person lies down on their back, while their partner gets on top and thrusts and grinds on them.

Motorboating: The act of putting your face in between someone’s breasts and moving your head back and forth quickly while making a raspberry sound with your tongue and lips (like the sound of a motorboat).

Non-binary: Someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman.

Nylon Fetish: The sexual interest in various facets of nylons. Someone with a nylon fetish might like wearing, touching, smelling, or simply looking at nylons.

Omnisexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone who’s attracted to all people, regardless of their gender.

Open Relationship: When one or both partners of a core relationship are consensually able to explore sexual intimacy with others.

Orbiting: When your ex continues to interact with all your Instagram Stories and social media, letting you know they’re still around.

Orgy: Group sex with several partners in a party-like scenario.

Pangender: Generally refers to someone who identifies with all or multiple gender identities. A pangender person might identify as a multitude of genders all at once, or they might identify more with certain genders at certain times.

Pansexual: The sexual, romantic, emotional, physical, or spiritual attraction to people regardless of their specific gender identity or sexual expression. Pansexuality falls under the bisexuality umbrella but goes beyond being attracted to both men and women.

Pearl Necklace: When someone with a penis ejaculates onto their partner’s neck or chest. The term comes from the drops of semen that are said to look like the individual pearls on a strand of beads.

Pegging: When someone without a penis performs anal intercourse on their partner with the help of a strap-on dildo.

Period Sex: Having sex while you menstruate.

Pillow Princess: Someone who likes to lie back and let their partner do most of the physical work during sex.

Polyamory: A form of consensual non-monogamy that emphasizes emotional—and oftentimes sexual—connection among multiple partners.

Polycule: A broad term used to describe all the interconnected partners in the same polyamorous network.

Polysexual: Someone who’s attracted to many genders and identities.

Pompoir: Using vaginal muscles in different ways to stimulate the penis during intercourse.

Postcoital Dysphoria: When a person experiences feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety or agitation after consensual sex—even if that sex was loving, satisfying, or enjoyable.

Pregnant Sex: Sex while pregnant.

Quickie: Speedy, rushed sex, often without foreplay or cuddling.

Relationship Anarchy: Also called «RA,» is a relationship style in which there are no rules or expectations other than the ones the people in the relationship decide upon.

Reverse-Cowgirl: A sex position that’s basically regular cowgirl (someone facing their partner and straddling them with knees on either side of their hips), but backward, so they’re facing their partner’s feet instead.

Rimming: Also called a rim job, tossed salad, and analingus; refers to oral sex involving mouth-to-anus contact.

Roaching: When someone you’re dating hides the fact they are also dating other people at the same time, and when confronted about it, claim they didn’t realize it was a monogamous relationship.

Rough Sex: Basically the opposite of “making love.” Refers to any sort of S&M (sadistic and masochistic) sexual activity. The definition of “rough” varies from person to person, so there’s no hard and fast rule here. Talk to your partner about how they define “rough” if you’re going to experiment with consensual rough sex.

Rusty Trombone: The act of performing a simultaneous rim job and hand job.

Sapiosexual: A controversial term that refers to a person who is attracted, primarily or exclusively, to people they find intelligent with less or no importance placed on the person’s appearance, gender, or identity.

Sex-Repulsed: Most commonly used within the asexual community, «sex-repulsed» is a way of experiencing one’s sexuality, but it’s not a sexuality in and of itself. Sex repulsion can mean someone finds sex disgusting or revolting and in general, would not want to look at, hear about, talk about, or think about sex or any sexual activity.

Sexual Frustration: A broad term used to describe feelings of dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety, and anger due to unmet sexual needs.

Shocker: A sex act when someone sticks their pointer and middle finger inside their partner’s vagina while also inserting their pinkie finger in the anus. It’s traditionally a sexist, non-consensual term because the anal penetration is meant to «shock» the receiver. Not cool.

Shrimping: The act of sucking on your partner’s toes.

Situationship: A catch-all term for relationships sitting at the intersection of “hooking up” and “in a relationship.”

Sixty-Nine (69): A sex position where two people simultaneously give each other oral sex.

Snowballing: A sexual act where a penis-haver ejaculates into their partner’s mouth, then open-mouth kisses their partner, passing the semen back and forth into each other’s mouths.

Spooning: When two people lie side-by-side, butt-to-back. The small spoon is the person on the inside, and the big spoon is on the outside.

Squirting: When fluid comes out of someone’s vagina, often accompanying orgasm.

Strap-On: A two-piece sex toy that includes a dildo and a harness, which attaches to the hips of the person wearing it. Strap-ons are often used for penetrative vaginal or anal sex.

Submarining: When an ex pops back into your life and then acts like nothing happened during the period you weren’t together.

Tantric Sex: Sex that lasts for hours and hours and involves study, meditation, breath-work, eye contact, and intimacy with your partner.

Teabagging: When a penis-haver places their scrotum into the mouth or onto the face or forehead of another person, usually while standing or kneeling over that person.

Temperature Play: An erotic form of consensual sensation play that’s often carried out by people who engage in BDSM play or kink. The goal of temperature play is to use the elements of heat and cold to heighten the senses.

Thigh Job: A sexual act where someone’s genitals are stimulated by a partner’s thighs. A thigh job can be done with clothes or bare thighs, thighs in latex, pantyhose, thigh highs, lubed up, or without lube.

Threesome: When three people have sex with each other simultaneously.

Venus Butterfly (technique): A sex act that involves both oral stimulation of the genitalia (cunnilingus) and manual stimulation (fingering) at the same time.

Vibrator: A sex toy that vibrates. While it can be used externally on the clitoris or penis, it can also be used internally in the vagina or anus, depending on its shape, design, and directions for use.

Yoni: «Vagina» in Sanskrit.

Yoni Massage: A tantric practice used to increase sensitivity in the vagina and vulva.

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Slang dictionary

or sixty-nine
[siks-tee nahyn]

Published May 9, 2018

What does 69 mean?

If sex was a number, it’d be 69.

69 is slang for when two partners arrange their bodies to perform oral sex on one another at the same time in a way said to look like the number 69.

Where does 69 come from?

AARoads

Vive la France! The slang 69 goes back, if you can believe it, to the French Revolution. The term is found in a 1790 French work, The Whore’s Catechisms, attributed the revolutionary figure Théroigne de Méricour, who described a soixante-neuf, or “sixty-nine” in French.

English picked up sixty-nine by the 1880s, with its numerical shorthand, 69, familiar by the 1970s.

As long as there have been humans, though, there probably has been the practice of a 69. It’s described in the ancient Indian Kama Sutra, for instance, as the Congress of a Crow position. The position involves different- or same-sex partners going down on each other—genitals or anus—at the same time, usually achieved by lying on their sides or one on top. That is unless the people involved take to the Standing 69 or Eiffel 69, known variants of the move.

If you’re looking any more detail from us, well, there are other websites for that.

69 is commonly referenced—and snickered about—in popular culture. R&B singer Rick James released “She Blew My Mind (69 Times)” in 1982, for instance, and Bryan Adams 1984 “Summer of ’69,” which puns on the peace-n-lovin’ year 1969. Rapper Daniel Hernandez is better known by his suggestive stage name, 6ix9ine.

In in the 2000s, 69 = inspired something of a meme where internet users comment “nice” on just about any online content that happens to feature the number 69 (e.g., the poll shows that 69% of Americans approve of the new law).

Memebase – Cheezburger

Not that this is new. Pretty much all of us who are familiar with 69 make jokes whenever we encounter 69 in the wild, from phone numbers to jersey numbers to birthdays to license plates.

Examples of 69

Nice is not the same as kind. / Nice is not the same as ethical. / Nice is not the same as moral. / Nice is the sex number; it is the number 69.

@engeej, May, 2018

The classic oral sex position but, instead of one of you on top of the other, try it with both of you laying on your side…Some people find 69 lackluster because there’s too much going on, but this variation is more grounded.

Lea Rose Emery, Bustle, May, 2018

[I]t’s really hard for me to get past the idea that that is “the true meaning of 69.” 6ix9ine has gotten famous so perhaps he feels that he’s more of an authority on 69 than the rest of us, but I’m here to say that “the true meaning of 69″ is sex.

Jordan Sargent, Spin, March, 2018

Who uses 69?

69 is an adult, NSFW term, but it isn’t as offensive as a word like fuck so it can’t be that bad.

Pinterest

Outside of literal uses (including as a verb, to sixty-nine someone), 69 is used throughout the sex industry, from pornographic Twitter handles to sex to phone-sex telephone numbers, as a shorthand for anything “sex.”

Note

This is not meant to be a formal definition of 69 like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is
rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of 69
that will help our users expand their word mastery.