No word can describe how i feel

List of top 28 famous quotes and sayings about words can’t describe how i feel to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 28 Words Can’t Describe How I Feel Quotes

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

By Dr. Gabriela Sadurní Rodríguez

Sometimes when people come for therapy, they immediately expect to be asked the notorious cliché typically portrayed in movies which is “How does that make you feel?” This question can elicit a few eye rolls probably due to its monotony and seemingly overly simplistic nature.

Interestingly, this question can provide so much insight regarding a person’s capacity to recognize and communicate their feelings. But, what does it mean when you frequently can’t seem to find the words to describe how you actually feel. Well, there’s a word for that.

What is alexithymia? Alexithymia is when an individual has difficulty identifying, describing, and expressing emotions. This term was coined by Peter Sifneos in 1972, and it comes from the roots of Greek words that literally mean, “lack of words for emotion.”

Alexithymia is generally described as a personality trait/characteristic and it is not classified as a mental health disorder. Research suggests that approximately 10% of the general population shows clinically significant alexithymia (meaning that it interferes with functioning in at least two areas of life; e.g. interpersonal, occupational).

What does alexithymia look like?

Diving deeper into understanding this concept, here are further characteristics of alexithymia:

• Poor emotional awareness (e.g. “I don’t know what I’m feeling;” “I don’t have words to describe what I’m feeling”)
• Difficulty expressing feelings (in terms of verbal or bodily expression)
• Difficulty understanding how others feel (being empathic)
• Difficulty identifying social cues (changes in body language or emotions in others)
• Difficulty discriminating between body sensations of arousal and emotions
• Difficulty with self-assessment and introspection
• Limited imagination, creativity, and fantasies
• Mostly exhibits logical and matter-of-fact thinking

It is important to note that alexithymia is different from apathy; which is defined as the “lack of feeling or emotion,” or “lack of interest or concern.” Although people with alexithymia may appear unresponsive, they do experience emotions and associated physiological changes. On the contrary, people with apathy do not experience the aforementioned emotional and physiological responsiveness.

The way alexithymia is expressed can vary from one person to another

Alexithymia and PTSD. Alexithymia can be experienced in the context of another medical (e.g. neurodevelopmental conditions or injuries) or mental health conditions (e.g. depression, autism, trauma, etc.). For the purpose of this blog post, we will focus on alexithymia in people who have experienced traumatic events (as studies show that trauma is one of the most important risk factors for developing the trait).

According to research, experiencing traumatic events in childhood/early life (e.g. physical abuse, neglect, etc.) can impact the development of cognitive and emotional processing. In other words, trauma may impact the individual’s capacity to identify, understand, and express their feelings. Experiencing traumatic events in general can contribute to individuals using strategies such as avoidance and numbness of feelings as means to bypass uncomfortable emotional experiences (which could become a risk factor for alexithymia and/or PTSD).

Similarly, according to van der Kolk and McFarlane (1996), when individuals go through psychological trauma and experience emotional overload, they may resort to developing compensatory, non-verbal strategies such as excessive drinking to manage their emotional experience or general feeling of numbness. That is, they regulate their emotions behaviorally instead of cognitively.

Some studies suggest that alexithymia is higher within people diagnosed with PTSD. A study performed with 22 Vietnam combat veterans with PTSD found that 41% had alexithymia; and another study that compared Holocaust survivors with and without PTSD found that survivors of PTSD had higher scores in tests that measure alexithymia traits.

How does it typically show up in treatment? There are different ways in which this trait can show up in therapy sessions. A person may be able to express that they are feeling distress or that something is bothering them, but report being unsure of what it is. Similarly, they may view emotions as “good/bad,” “positive/negative,” but lack the breadth of a more nuanced description.

In treatment it’s helpful to have awareness of our emotions given that they give us important information about ourselves, communicate to others, and motivate us to take certain actions. Developing a deeper understanding about what we feel is helpful to incorporate adequate coping skills and to effectively engage in interpersonal relationships.

What can be done about it?

First and foremost, it is important to rule out any underlying medical conditions that may be impacting your ability to identify and express feelings. Otherwise, pervasive difficulty in these areas may warrant clinical attention from a mental health professional. Speaking to a mental health professional could be helpful to attain a better sense of what you are struggling with. 

There are different scales and questionnaires that are useful to identify traits and characteristics of alexithymia. Through therapy, you may learn new concepts, read about emotions, and learn different words to describe your emotional experience. A trained professional can provide you with tools to increase your emotional awareness and to effectively address/navigate social and interpersonal issues.

True/False Self-Assessment

In the questions below, ask yourself if any of the statements are true to you.

1. I generally don’t know how I feel.
2. I typically don’t have words to describe what I’m feeling, and resort to simply saying statements such as “I’m fine,” or “I don’t know.”
3. I usually have difficulty expressing how I feel about other people.
4. When relating to others, it’s hard for me to imagine how they could be feeling.
5. It’s easier for me to talk about situations/events rather than feelings.
6. I get confused or have a hard time understanding the physical manifestations of my emotions.

If you answered True to all or most of the statements above, and it’s giving you difficulties in different areas of your life (e.g. relationships or at work), you may benefit from consulting with a psychologist. Keep in mind that the way alexithymia is expressed can vary from one person to another.

At The Psychology Group Fort Lauderdale, we can assist you if you are experiencing alexithymia or difficulty expressing emotions. Please give us a call or send us an email for a free informational conversation.

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Copyright © 2020 The Psychology Group Fort Lauderdale, LLC

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When I first saw you, I didn’t think we’d end up this way. It would just be too good to be true, you know? I just got out of an abusive relationship. I was a mess. I didn’t care about my appearance. I felt like damaged goods. You were too good for me. You were just a nice customer who would sit and chat like the others, I thought. How could you fall for me?

We started talking more. You would visit more. I knew you were off the market after you mentioned going on a date with a girl. I wish I could say that broke my puppy-love fueled heart, but I already set myself up for not falling for you, because I was sure there was no way you were attracted to me. Messy bun, makeup from the night before, boring as ever.

Then, a little later on, that night at the coffee house came to. Things felt different. I’m not sure if it was just my imagination, but I think you felt it too. The nervousness and giddiness. We sat as far apart on that couch as we could; it was so funny looking back. I tried to drop little hints. Playing with your hat and hair, trying to just touch you in little ways to let you know how I felt. I so badly wanted to just tell you everything. I asked you about the date you planned with the girl. You said you backed out. I didn’t think of the reason why. I don’t know if it was because of me or because you just weren’t feeling it, but I’m glad you did.

Night fell. We were one of the last ones there after closing besides the guitar playing duo on the patio. We sat on the brick wall between the shops, listening and chatting. Then, I felt brave. I needed you to know. I scooted closer next to you and laid my head on your shoulder. You laid your head on mine and wrapped your arm around my waist. And I cannot tell you how hard it was to not jump off that wall and celebrate with everything I had.

Now, 7 months later, I’m still celebrating. I know it’s still early into the relationship and the future is a mystery, but I know one thing. I have never been happier in my life. You know my past, I have been in a few relationships. But none have made me feel so complete and valued and safe and loved and happy. I feel like I’ve won the lottery. You are everything I would ever want and need and more. I never knew it was possible to feel the way I do, even after over half a year. I still get butterflies and do a happy little dance when I see your name pop up on my phone. I don’t know if you notice how I just melt into uncontrollable smiles whenever I see you. I know me being so playfully clingy when you leave may be annoying at times, but I just love having you around. You are an antidote to every poisonous thing in my life and mind. I feel like the luckiest girl when I’m next to you.

I know the «M» word is scary to you. And I’m not asking for you to ever commit yourself to something you’re uncomfortable with. But I hope we have a future. I really do. I hope I never have to go through losing you. I’m not the melodramatic type where «my life would end without you! I have no meaning to live on!» But having you in my life then losing you would break me down. And honestly, life is just amazing with you in it. And I hope I don’t ever have to think back and say «I miss him.»

You + me against the world. I’d love nothing more.

I love you babe. Always will.

-L