From Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A conflict is a struggle between people which may be physical, or between conflicting ideas. The word comes from Latin conflingere Conflingere means to come together for a battle. Conflicts can either be within one person, or they can involve several people or groups. Conflicts arise because there are needs, values or ideas that are seen to be different, and there is no means to reconcile the dispute.
Very often, conflicts lead to fights, or even wars (in the case where conflicts are solved with weapons). Conflict between ideas is usually fought with propaganda.
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- Conflict resolution
- Dispute
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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Look up conflict in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Conflict may refer to:
Arts, entertainment, and media[edit]
Films[edit]
- Conflict (1921 film), an American silent film directed by Stuart Paton
- Conflict (1936 film), an American boxing film starring John Wayne
- Conflict (1937 film), a Swedish drama film directed by Per-Axel Branner
- Conflict (1938 film), a French drama film directed by Léonide Moguy
- Conflict (1945 film), an American suspense film starring Humphrey Bogart
- Catholics: A Fable (1973 film), or The Conflict, a film starring Martin Sheen
- Judith (1966 film) or Conflict, a film starring Sophia Loren
- Samar (1999 film) or Conflict, a 1999 Indian film by Shyam Benegal
Games[edit]
- Conflict (series), a 2002–2008 series of war games for the PS2, Xbox, and PC
- Conflict (video game), a 1989 Nintendo Entertainment System war game
- Conflict: Middle East Political Simulator, a 1990 strategy computer game
Literature and periodicals[edit]
- Conflict (novel), a 1934 novel by E.V. Timms
- Conflict, an underground art fanzine by Gerard Cosloy
- Conflict, an adventure pulp magazine from 1933 to 1934 that published a story by Margie Harris
- Conflict, a wargame magazine that included board wargames
Music[edit]
- Conflict (band), an anarcho-punk band
- Conflict (Sy Smith album), a 2008 R&B album
- Conflict (Jimmy Woods album), a 1963 jazz album
- «Conflict», a song by Disturbed from the 2000 album The Sickness
Television[edit]
- Conflict (1978 TV series), a TVB television series
- Conflict (American TV series), a 1956 American television series
- «Conflict» (UFO), the fourth episode aired of the first series of UFO
Other uses in arts, entertainment, and media[edit]
- Conflict (narrative), a core literary element
Military[edit]
- Violence
- Armed conflict, often known as war
- HMS Conflict, a list of ships with the name
- HMS Conflict (1873), a schooner launched in 1873 and sold in 1882
- HMS Conflict (1894), a Conflict-class destroyer launched in 1894 and sold in 1920
[edit]
- Conflict (process), the general pattern of groups dealing with disparate ideas
- Conflict continuum from cooperation (low intensity), to contest, to higher intensity (violence and war)
- Conflict of interest, involvement in multiple interests which could possibly corrupt the motivation or decision-making
- Cultural conflict, a type of conflict that occurs when different cultural values and beliefs clash
- Ethnic conflict, a conflict between two or more contending ethnic groups
- Group conflict, conflict between groups
- Intragroup conflict, conflict within groups
- Organizational conflict, discord caused by opposition of needs, values, and interests between people working together
- Role conflict, incompatible demands placed upon a person such that compliance with both would be difficult
- Social conflict, the struggle for agency or power in something
- Work–family conflict, incompatible demands between the work and family roles of an individual
Other uses[edit]
- Conflict (air traffic control), a loss of separation between two aircraft
- Conflict (revision control), a computer problem wherein multiple editors attempt to edit the same document
See also[edit]
Wikiquote has quotations related to Conflict.
- All pages with titles beginning with Conflict
- All pages with titles containing Conflict
- All pages with titles beginning with The Conflict
- All pages with titles containing The Conflict
- Clash (disambiguation)
- Conflict resolution
- Confrontation (disambiguation)
- Struggle (disambiguation)
Noun
In great wars—the American Civil War, the First and Second World Wars—the largest casualties are suffered just before the conflicts end.
—Steve Forbes, Forbes, 19 Oct. 2009
At a moment when the country was still in the throes of the conflict over Vietnam, it was refreshing to see the best of America.
—Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, 2006
… for work-family conflicts to disappear, two rock-ribbed institutions must change: the whole concept of children’s care, and the way the workplace works.
—Letty Cottin Pogrebin, Family Politics, 1983
The basic conflict in the novel is, of course, between the life on the river, where Huck finds innocence, brotherhood with man, and communion with nature, and life ashore, where, stage by stage, he discovers the corruption of society …
—Robert Penn Warren, Democracy and Poetry, (1975) 1976
a conflict between two gangs
recent violent conflict in the region
Everyone in my family always tries to avoid conflict.
There was inevitable conflict over what to name the group.
They’re having serious conflicts over the budget.
I don’t see any conflicts between the theories.
You’ll need to resolve the conflict between your parents’ plans for you and your own ambitions.
Verb
Mr. van Wolferen says the U.S. must do more: It has to openly explain to Japan that it wants a managed-trade deal in order to end the bickering between the two nations, a move that would conflict with America’s free-trade rhetoric.
—David P. Hamilton, Wall Street Journal, 8 June 1995
The expectations about motherhood as full-time job that this situation created conflicted with the philosophy of the women’s movement of the l960’s.
—Anita Shreve, New York Times Magazine, 2l Nov. 1982
Lily smiled faintly at the injunction to take her tea strong. It was the temptation she was always struggling to resist. Her craving for the keen stimulant was forever conflicting with that other craving for sleep …
—Edith Wharton, The House of Mirth, 1905
Reports conflicted on how many people were involved.
his statement conflicts with the facts, as given in the police report
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Recent Examples on the Web
Cathedral’s Jaron Tibbs was in consideration for the team, but was unable to play due to conflict with his Purdue football commitment, Broughton said.
—Kyle Neddenriep, The Indianapolis Star, 4 Apr. 2023
But Poland’s aspirations to play a greater role in European foreign policy have been compromised by a longstanding conflict with the European Union.
—Elisabeth Zerofsky, New York Times, 4 Apr. 2023
Once again, the lack of clear guidelines left me in a vulnerable position and could have led to conflict with law enforcement.
—Sally Mahmoud-werthmann, STAT, 3 Apr. 2023
Taiwan does not seek conflict, Tsai said, reiterating her commitment to maintaining a peaceful status quo in the Taiwan Strait.
—Meaghan Tobin And Ellen Nakashima, BostonGlobe.com, 31 Mar. 2023
Taiwan does not seek conflict, Tsai said, reiterating her commitment to maintaining a peaceful status quo in the Taiwan Strait.
—Ellen Nakashima, Washington Post, 31 Mar. 2023
This is one of a growing number of conflicts involving mining proposals that could support the clean energy transition but face opposition due to their environmental and cultural impacts.
—Sammy Roth, Los Angeles Times, 30 Mar. 2023
Habitat loss, poaching, and conflict with humans have greatly reduced their populations.
—Tara Subramaniam, CNN, 30 Mar. 2023
The focus on anti-ship capabilities reflects the focus on a potential conflict with China in the western Pacific Ocean.
—Sébastien Roblin, Popular Mechanics, 30 Mar. 2023
Many of them were conflicted about giving up their baby.
—Larissa Macfarquhar, The New Yorker, 3 Apr. 2023
As a Dodgers fan living in Boston… I’m conflicted.
—Daniel Kohn, SPIN, 29 Mar. 2023
Mixed Feelings: The actor Matthew Macfadyen, whose unbearably awkward Tom Wambsgans has gone from punching bag to power player, is conflicted about the end of the show.
—Penelope Green, New York Times, 25 Mar. 2023
Zhou, 38, works in project management and mobile app development, and says he’s conflicted about using the app, which is heavily censored and monitored in China.
—WIRED, 23 Mar. 2023
But would-be persuaders who expressed some doubt—or demonstrated that they were conflicted about the evidence—were more successful at changing minds.
—Carmine Gallo, Forbes, 9 Mar. 2023
She’s been as glued to the screen as other fans, staying up to date with the influx of developments, but she’s conflicted by it.
—Yvonne Villarreal, Los Angeles Times, 8 Mar. 2023
But experts are conflicted on whether these supplements can, in fact, deliver these results.
—Mira Miller, Verywell Health, 8 Mar. 2023
Meanwhile, her co-worker Svitlana Badytsia is conflicted.
—Lenora Chu, The Christian Science Monitor, 27 Feb. 2023
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These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word ‘conflict.’ Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.
Conflict is a state of disagreement between two or more parties. This disagreement can be realized in both peaceful and violent manifestations. A clash of interests, values, actions, or directions often sparks a conflict. Conflict occurs on a many levels—within the individual when a person confronts their own competing desires; between individuals such as in a marriage; between groups of individuals, such as work groups; between societies or cultures, such as different religions or ethnicities; or international conflict which may become a fully fledged war.
While differences are natural, the ways to resolve them can be violent or harmonious. Appreciating diversity of opinion, ability, and interest is the beginning of living in harmony, allowing the development of new ideas through give and take with each offering different information or skills. Overcoming the barriers between different individuals and groups, living in service to others, is a good foundation for successful interactions that will not lead to violent conflict. When conflict has occurred, reconciliation requires that each become sensitive to the other’s perspective and experience, possibly through the use of a mediator. True reconciliation is achieved based on forgiveness.
Definition
Conflict is a state of disagreement. To be considered conflict, a number of characteristics are generally evidenced (Dana 2000):
- Interdependence — those involved need something from each other
- Blame — the parties attribute the cause of the dispute to the behavior, attitude, beliefs, and so on of the other
- Anger — the situation causes one or both parties to experience significant emotional reaction, in the form of anger
- Actual problems — the behavior of those involved in the conflict leads to problems for themselves and others.
Conflict is generally regarded as an unpleasant state of affairs. Terms associated with conflict by people from over 60 countries worldwide include anger, avoid, bad, control, destruction, fear, fight, hate, impasse, loss, mistake, pain, war, and wrongdoing (Weeks 1994).
Conflict resolution is the attempt to reduce the tension and difficulties associated with a state of conflict. Methods of conflict resolution have been developed and applied in a wide range of social situations.
Types
Conflict can occur between individuals or between groups of many types. Among these variations are: interpersonal conflict between two people (such as within a family in the form of sibling rivalry or conflict between husband and wife, or bullying in school situations), group conflict between two groups (such as within a work environment), inter-societal conflict between two societies or cultures (such as conflict between Islam and Christianity during the Crusades, or between different ethnic groups within a country), interstate conflict (such as civil wars), or international conflict (war between two countries). Conflicts in these levels may appear «nested» in conflicts residing at larger levels of analysis. For example, conflict within a work team may play out the dynamics of a broader conflict in the organization as a whole.
Conflict can also occur within an individual. This conflict can be rational opposition between logical arguments or can degrade into schizophrenia, in which a person’s mind is actually divided against itself. Such a struggle is often subconscious and can result in great stress for the sufferer. Sigmund Freud believed humans suffer from a number of conflicting impulses for survival, sexual pleasure, and social restraint, which result in neuroses and other mental disorders.
Psychologist Kurt Lewin developed a typology of internal conflicts that individuals face. He identified several situations in which we experience mutually irreconcilable alternatives that arouse different emotions:
- Approach-approach — when we want two different things, both of which we like (have «positive valence»)
- Avoidance-avoidance — when we have to choose between two alternatives that we do not like («negative valence»)
- Approach-avoidance — when one thing has both positive and negative qualities
- Double approach-avoidance — a choice between two things each of which have both positive and negative qualities.
Causes
Together with the varying levels of conflict come a wide variety of external causes of conflict. These include specialization, in which niches fight over the right to assert validity of their position; interdependence, when a group cannot operate without the assistance of others; arguments over common resources; differences in goals; over authority; jurisdictional ambiguities; skills and abilities; values and ethics; and cultural differences.
However, all conflicts have as their root cause self-centered behavior, when one’s personal desires, or those of one’s own group, are pursued without regard for the needs of the other or for the larger society to which both belong. The result of such selfishness is the breakdown of harmonious interactions or the initiation of aggressive and destructive behavior.
Conflicts within the individual also arise from wrong motivation. Human beings often find themselves in situations where they experience a conflict between their mind, which seeks such eternal goals as beauty, truth, goodness, and love, and the body, with physical desires for such things as sleep, food, shelter, and sexual gratification. The conflict between these two types of desires is inevitable, since the nature and thus the needs of the mind and body are different, one being internal and eternal the other external and temporal. It is the challenge of all people to resolve this by training the body with discipline, and strengthening the mind to pursue goals of value while taking care of the needs of the body so that it can serve the mind’s goals.
Similarly, dealing with the types of internal conflict described by Lewin is a normal feature of choice between alternative courses of action. Learning to deal with these conflicting emotions is part of the process of individual character development.
Human beings also experience a conflict between the mind’s desires in pursuit of goodness, serving the whole purpose, and those that can be termed evil, namely those that seek to harm others, threatening or destroying the safety and well-being of others or even society as a whole. This type of internal conflict, which all people experience to some degree, is the subject of great debate. For many religions, this situation results from what may be called the Fall of Man, or a deviation of human nature from the original ideal of creation. In this view, the suffering resulting from wrong desires and our struggles to deal with such conflicts is something we are called to overcome. The secular view, particularly that of [[science
|scientists]] who accept evolution as fact, tends to regard both internal and external conflicts as part of our «animal» nature that enables us to survive.
Conflict theory
Conflict theory attempts to explain social conflict through the idea that all participants in a group or society attempt to maximize their personal benefits and are therefore at odds with all other members of the population. This view stems from the Hobbesian idea that men are naturally selfish and in a constant state of war with one another. The idea was later elaborated on by Karl Marx who believed history to be the story of conflict between the wealthy and working classes. Marx taught that this conflict would eventually erupt into a society-wide war or revolution. The theory has also been applied to microlevel interactions.
Conflicts among animals
Aggressive behavior is common in many species. Conflicts and their resolution appear to follow somewhat similar patterns between those between human beings.
Conflict resolution has been observed in non-human primates. Aggression is more common among relatives and within a group, than between groups. Instead of creating a distance between the individuals, however, primates were observed to be more intimate in the period after the aggressive incident. These intimacies consisted of grooming and various forms of body contact. Different types of primates, as well as many other species who are living in groups, show different types of conciliatory behavior. Stress responses, like an increased heart rate, usually decreased after these reconciliatory signals. These findings contradicted previous existing theories about the general function of aggression, such as creating greater space between individuals (first proposed by Konrad Lorenz), which seems to more accurately apply to conflict between groups.
In addition to research in primates, in more recent studies biologists have explored reconciliation in other animals. Peaceful post-conflict behavior has been documented. Reconciliation has since been documented in such species as spotted hyenas, lions, dolphins, and domesticated goats.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution is the ending of a conflict, or at least reduction of its severity. It may involve conflict management, in which the parties continue the conflict but adopt less extreme tactics; settlement, in which they reach agreement on enough issues that the conflict stops; or removal of the underlying causes of the conflict. Settlements sometimes end a conflict for good, but when there are deeper issues—such as value clashes among people who must work together, distressed relationships, or mistreated members of one’s ethnic group across a border—settlements are often temporary. True resolution of conflict involves not only a cessation of antagonistic interactions, but also a reconciliation—forgiveness and a new start in the relationship.
There are many ways that can end a conflict, ranging from surrender or escape, acting with sufficient violence to defeat one’s opponent, to filing a lawsuit so that the courts will resolve the issue. These methods assume that one side is either correct or stronger than the other. An alternative approach is to assume that agreement can be reached through communication between the parties. Methods involved in such forms of conflict resolution include negotiation, mediation, arbitration, and mediation-arbitration, which is a hybrid of the two processes.
Negotiation
Negotiation, the most heavily researched approach to conflict resolution, has mainly been studied in laboratory experiments, in which undergraduate participants are randomly assigned to conditions. These studies have mostly looked at antecedents of the strategies adopted by negotiators and the outcomes attained, including whether agreement is reached, the joint benefit to both parties, and the individual benefit to each party.
Researchers have found that problem solving behavior such as giving or requesting information about a party’s priorities among issues encourages high mutual benefit. Contentious behavior, such as making threats or standing firm on one’s proposals, encourages failure to reach agreement or, if agreement is reached, low joint benefit. Conceding makes agreement more likely but favors the other party’s interests. The party who makes the first offer tends to achieve greater benefit than the other party.
Three states of mind discourage concession making: viewing concessions as producing loss rather than as foregoing gain; focusing attention on one’s goal rather than one’s limit (the alternative that is minimally tolerable); and adopting a fixed-pie perspective, in which one views the other’s gain as one’s loss, rather than an expandable pie perspective. Adopting any of the states of mind above diminishes the likelihood of agreement; but if agreement is reached, it increases the likelihood of winning, especially if the other party adopts the opposite state of mind.
Negotiators from individualistic cultures tend to take a more contentious approach, while those from collectivist cultures are more concerned about maintaining positive relationships and hence more likely to cooperate (concede or engage in problem solving). Accountability to constituents encourages contentious behavior for individualists, it encourages cooperative behavior for collectivists.
Mediation and arbitration
Two common forms of third-party intervention are arbitration and mediation. In arbitration, the third party listens to both sides and then renders a decision, which can be either binding or advisory. Most mediation consists of third-party assistance with negotiation. When conflict is severe and the disputants have difficulty talking calmly with each other, mediators can put them into contact and help them develop a cease-fire or settlement. If the disputants cannot or will not meet each other, mediators commonly become intermediaries and shuttle between them. Sometimes a chain of two intermediaries is necessary because there is no single individual who can communicate effectively with both sides.
Research into mediation suggests that it is usually successful in producing settlements. Disputants generally prefer mediation over arbitration, since it allows them to retain control over the final decision. This means that where failure to reach agreement in mediation is followed by binding arbitration, disputants will work harder to reach agreement than in straight mediation. In the case of small claims disputes, that mediation produces more compliance with the agreement than adjudication (a form of arbitration), perhaps because mediated decisions accord more with the parties’ needs. To be fully successful, mediators must be seen as impartial between the two parties. Having stronger initial ties to one side than the other is less damaging to the perception of impartiality than exhibiting bias during the mediation session. Disputants even sometimes prefer that the mediator be close to the other party so that he or she can exert influence over that party.
Reconciliation
Forgiveness 2 — part of the Forgiveness series by Carlos Latuff.
Reconciliation is the transition from a broken relationship to a restored one. Often, the restored relationship is stronger than it was prior to the conflict. Reconciliation allows renewal, which opens new avenues of friendship based on the common experience of the conflict and its resolution. The process of reconciliation involves taking a closer look at the other and at oneself, which leads to greater empathy, understanding, and respect.
Forgiveness is essential to bringing to an end the tensions that exist in the conflict. It means giving up the claim to retaliation and allowing positive interactions to take place. Forgiveness does not excuse wrong actions, nor does it mean that they are to be considered acceptable in the future. However, it does mean that they are no longer a barrier to effective communication and harmonious interactions.
Often forgiveness is difficult because the wounds of the conflict run deep. In many cases, it is the act of serving the other that allows these feelings to change. Thus, service learning, a form of experiential education, has been found effective in bringing together those who have had difficulties and allowing them to see each other in a new light. Whether this involves one party directly serving the other, as in a community service project in which white youths clean and restore parks and playgrounds in a black neighborhood, or where both parties work together to serve a third community, the act of service opens the heart and allows new understanding and appreciation of the other. Reconciliation becomes easier on this foundation.
Conflict resolution in schools
Among children, conflicts occur many times simply because of their immaturity. They are still in the process of learning to develop their social skills, and learning to resolve conflicts is part of their growth process. Schools offer a situation where conflicts will be experienced and where conflict resolution skills can be learned. To assist students in their development of such skills schools need to set high expectations for their students’ behavior, conveying the message that over-aggressive and antagonistic behaviors will not be tolerated.
At the same time, teachers need to give students choices so that they can work out their differences by themselves. Teachers can challenge students to analyze and suggest solutions to conflict situations. In this way children learn to take responsibility and go beyond the tendency simply to blame the other, expanding their responses to provocation beyond defensive reaction.
Students also need to learn how to communicate their feelings and needs constructively. Violence often results from inability to communicate effectively. Effective communication skills involve listening and comprehending, as well as expressing one’s own viewpoint well. Students can practice articulating the other’s viewpoint to foster empathy and mutual understanding.
Peer mediators are very helpful in resolving conflicts in school situations. Students can learn valuable lessons by acting as mediator and helping others to find solutions to conflicts. If peer mediation is not sufficient, teachers or school administrators may intervene to bring about resolution.
Conflict resolution in marriage
Marriage is a relationship that arouses the deepest emotions, both positive and negative. The intimacy of married life creates greater expectations and requires greater trust. If this trust is violated, then the feeling of hurt and betrayal can be far greater than with friends and acquaintances, and certainly strangers. The closeness of the marriage relationship makes both parties very vulnerable; violations of trust cut deep and can be very hard to forgive. When faced with such pain and stress, people may feel trapped, and rather than seeking a solution are tempted to escape. Divorce has become increasingly acceptable, providing an apparently easy escape from marital conflict.
Resolving marital conflict, however, is by no means impossible, although it requires hard work and investment on the part of both spouses. Marriage counselors (and family counselors when children are involved) are trained professionals who act as mediators to help a couple resolve their difficulties.
It may help to depersonalize the issues. Often, marital conflict has roots in differences between gender roles, experiences each had prior to the marriage (particularly if these involved sexual abuse or other domestic violence), or cultural differences. When people focus on their spouse’s shortcomings they may put love on hold and wait for him or her to change to match their own expectation of a spouse—often an impossible task. By accepting the other as they are and concentrating on self-improvement, investment in the relationship becomes possible again and harmony may well result.
On a deeper level, husband and wife can learn to appreciate their differences rather than try to make their spouse more like themselves. This allows each party to more fully express their individuality, fulfilling their unique potential, and becoming the mature person that their spouse can love with increasing joy and satisfaction. Once they feel loved, people often are more open to change, and thus differences can be overcome with less antagonism.
Conflict resolution and religion
All religions teach peace and harmony, yet many of the worst wars and continuing conflicts today are between adherents of different faiths:
Religion is associated with man’s attempts to plumb the depths of meaning in both himself and the universe. It has given rise to the most spacious products of his imagination, and it has been used to justify the most extreme cruelty of man to man. It can conjure up moods of sublime exaltation, and also images of dread and terror (Nottingham 1964).
In recent times, religion itself has come to be viewed as an agent of conflict rather than an aid to conflict resolution and the establishment of world peace. The Thirty Years War (1618 — 1648) diminished the population of Europe by close to 20 percent, and has been attributed primarily to conflict between Protestants and Catholics, at least in popular understanding. The «troubles» in Ireland spanning much of the twentieth century were also between the Catholic and Protestant groups. Terrorism in the twenty-first century, especially following the September 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center, has been seen as perpetrated by radical Islamic jihadi against those of other faiths.
The job of religion, though, is to empower human beings to change for the good. And, all religions have much in common, not the least of which is hope and desire for a world of goodness and peace (Wilson 1995). Thus, to exclude religion from the process of peace making is surely a loss to that process. But to be included in the peacemaking process, for example at the United Nations, contemporary religions must remove from popular opinion the assumption that strong religious belief is characterized by the likelihood if not inevitability of clash and conflict with anyone who does not believe in the same way.
To be successful, conflict resolution on the world scale must include the elements of religion and spirituality that exert such powerful influence in personal and world affairs. For this to be successful, religious leaders need to find within their own faith the strength to dialog, to respect the viewpoint of the other, and, in many cases, to reconcile and forgive.
Models of conflict and resolution
Cain kills his brother Abel
Within the Abrahamic faiths is found the model of conflict recounted in the story of the brothers Cain and Abel in the first human family. According to the account in the Book of Genesis, Cain’s offering was rejected by God while his brother Abel’s was accepted. Cain was angry—»his countenance fell»—as he experienced the feeling of lack of love. Acting on his jealousy with violence, Cain murdered his brother. This story provides a formula for analysis of the archetypical enmity of brothers.
In many conflicts these two relative positions are found: the «Abel position» in which one feels loved, valued, and respected when one’s efforts are validated and appreciated; and the «Cain position» in which hard work goes unrewarded for no apparent reason while another receives all the praise, glory, love, and rewards that Cain feels are his due. The strong emotions experienced in these two positions are opposite: Abel feels pride, happiness, and satisfaction; Cain feels anger, resentment, and lack of love. When these powerful emotions are acted on the conflict escalates, often with tragic and irreversible consequences.
Also told in the scriptures, though, is the story of Jacob and Esau, who were also brothers and who experienced a situation in which Esau rightly felt wronged as his brother stole his birthright by tricking their father, Isaac. In this case, however, their mother, Rebekah helped Jacob escape before his brother could hurt him. Then, after Jacob labored many years under conditions in which he was tricked many times, he overcame his trials and became prosperous. Returning to his family, Jacob acted humbly instead of with arrogance, and was able to placate his brother by sending much of his wealth ahead as a peace offering. Finally, when they met, Jacob bowed low and told Esau that «to see your face is like seeing the face of God» (Genesis 33:10). Through such service and respect, valuing his brother, Esau was able to forgive and the brothers reconciled.
This story of Jacob and Esau stands as a model of conflict resolution. One party, through strength of character (in Jacob’s case learned through 21 years of trials) is able to humble himself and serve the other, melting their heart so that forgiveness is possible, bringing mutual benefit. The act of serving the other is a key to opening their heart to allow a change of feeling from anger and resentment, restoring the feelings of brotherhood that existed originally.
Conflict resolution among cultures
Conflicts among nations or ethnic groups today are the result of accumulated historical burdens of crimes and mistreatment. These are passed on from generation to generation because of ignorance or unwillingness to take responsibility for the past. Fortunately, each new generation offers new possibilities; children are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of their parents’ and ancestors’ generations. In today’s world where technology allows us to communicate with people from all over the world and the increasingly globalized society requires us to work together, young people have many opportunities to relate to others. When they learn to relate to all people with respect, fairness, tolerance, and love they will be able to resolve the past conflicts and live in harmony.
It is easier to reconcile when the other is seen as a fellow human being, also vulnerable, possibly suffering and in pain, or deprived of attention and with unmet needs. In twentieth-century South Africa the black population mounted ever increasing protests against the oppressive apartheid regime. The most respected black leader, Nelson Mandela, had been imprisoned by the white government for many years. President F.W. de Klerk knew that if he succumbed to pressure, both from the black population within his country and from around the world, and released him that the white government would inevitably fall. Against the advice of his fellow political leaders he released Mandela in 1990. After his release, Mandela successfully appealed to end the violence and brought about a peaceful transition to black rule and a multiracial society. While in prison, Mandela underwent a transformation. Although belligerent when he was first incarcerated, he had a change of heart, and instead of nurturing resentment and hatred against those that put him there he rather made great efforts to understand the white Afrikaners, learning their language in order to read their books, and listening to the stories of the prison officers. Mandela was thus able to forgive the enemies who jailed him, setting an example of forgiveness and reconciliation for his countrymen. His switch to a policy of reconciliation and negotiation helped lead the transition to multi-racial democracy in South Africa. Mandela served as president, with de Klerk as his vice-president. The efforts of both men in regarding the other as a fellow human being with the common goal of peace led to a successful resolution, for which they were jointly honored with the Nobel Peace Prize.
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King addressing the press in 1964. «An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind».
Martin Luther King, Jr. received a Nobel Peace Prize for his work toward peaceful resolution of racial segregation in the United States. He faced a culture in which he was judged as inferior because of the color of his skin, barred from drinking at the same water fountain, using the same toilets, sitting in the front of a bus, or eating in the same restaurants as white people. Although King and his fellow black Americans had every justification for resentment, anger, hatred, and the desire to act with violence against their oppressors, he taught non-violent civil disobedience as the way to achieve their goals: «We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity.» On receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964 for his efforts, King said «Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.»
References
ISBN links support NWE through referral fees
- Aureli, Filippo and Frans B.M. de Waal. 2000. Natural Conflict Resolution. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press. ISBN 9780520223462
- Bercovitch, J., and A. Houston. 2000. «Why do they do it like this? An analysis of the factors influencing mediation behavior in international conflicts» in Journal of Conflict Resolution 44: 170-202.
- Coleman, P., & M. Deutsch. 2001. «Introducing cooperation and conflict resolution into schools: A systems approach.» 223-239. in Winter, Peace, conflict and violence: Peace psychology for the 21st century. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
- Dana, Daniel. 2000. Conflict Resolution. New York: McGraw-Hill. ISBN 0071364315
- Devine, Tony, Joon Ho Seuk, and Andrew Wilson. 2000. Cultivating Heart and Character: Educating for Life’s Most Essential Goals. Character Development Foundation. ISBN 1892056151
- Gelfand, M. J., & J. M. Brett. 2004. The handbook of negotiation and culture. Stanford, CA: Stanford Business Books. ISBN 9780804745864
- Kressel, K., & D. G. Pruitt. 1989. «Conclusion: A research perspective on the mediation of social conflict» in Mediation research. 394-435. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
- Lewin, Kurt. 1997. Resolving Social Conflicts & Field Theory in Social Science. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. ISBN 1557984158
- Lorenzen, Michael. 2006. «Conflict Resolution and Academic Library Instruction» in LOEX Quarterly 33 (1/2): 6-9, 11.
- Nottingham, Elizabeth K. 1964. Religion and Society. Random House.
- Sampson, Anthony. 2000. Mandela: The Authorized Biography. New York: Vintage. ISBN 0679781781
- Thompson, L., M. Neale, and M. Sinaceur. 2004. «The evolution of cognition and biases in negotiation research: An examination of cognition, social perception, motivation, and emotion» in The handbook of negotiation and culture. 7-44. Stanford, CA: Stanford Business Books.
- Veenema, Hans, et al. 1994. «Methodological improvements for the study of reconciliation» in Behavioral Processes 31: 29-38.
- Wall, J. A., D. Druckman, and P.F. Diehl. 2002. «Mediation by international peacekeepers» in Studies in international mediation 141-164. Basingstoke, England: Palgrave-Macmillan.
- Weeks, Dudley. 1994. The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution. New York: Tarcher / Penguin. ISBN 0874777518
- Wilson, Andrew, ed. 1995. World Scripture: A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts. (International Religious Foundation) Paragon House Publishers. ISBN 1557787239
- Zartman, I.W. 2000. «Ripeness: The hurting stalemate and beyond» in International conflict resolution after the Cold War. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.
External links
All links retrieved April 14, 2020.
- Search for Common Ground — One of the world’s largest non-government organizations dedicated to conflict resolution.
- The Five Steps to Conflict Resolution American Management Association.
- Conflict Resolution Skills Help Guide.
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For a century the German rule was nominal, but with the outbreak of the conflict in the eleventh century between king and pope over the question of which one should invest the bishops with their authority (known as the _investiture conflict_, 1075-1122), Pope Gregory ❋ Ellwood Patterson Cubberley (1904)
Has anyone ever heard of the term «conflict of interest?» ❋ Head-Roc (2011)
The belief that competition and character are in conflict is a myth perpetuated by people who prefer shortcuts over hard work. ❋ Lisa Earle McLeod (2010)
The main conflict is set up pretty early, but again, it seems to get off track and degenerate into lots of minor conflicts. ❋ Unknown (2009)
Simon 9:17 p.m. comment: The touchiness by what you call the conflict is my point. ❋ Ann Althouse (2007)
The main conflict, the political conflict, is not between the Opposition and the powers that be, but between those powers and the citizens. ❋ Unknown (2003)
We have been in conflict from the time we entered into Confederation. ❋ Unknown (1909)
«The escalating violence and regional dimension of the conflict is alarming,» said Churches for Middle East Peace in a letter today to President Bush. ❋ Unknown (2010)
On Monday, the top American commander in Afghanistan said in a statement that success in the conflict is achievable if the United States revises its strategy. ❋ Unknown (2009)
The other party to this conflict is the Palestinian Authority, not Hamas. ❋ Unknown (2010)
I’m not interested because it seems like the conflict is all going to be catty, bitchy stuff and I don’t go for that most of the time. ❋ Tragic_elegance (2009)
Petraeus offered his professional military opinion — shared by many others, including the 2006 Iraq Study Group — that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a key driver of instability in the Middle East, and that working toward a resolution to the conflict is an essential U.S. national security interest. ❋ Unknown (2010)
“Of course, expert commenters here seem to think that restoring Ottoman control over the conflict is the solution.” ❋ Unknown (2009)
Of course, expert commenters here seem to think that restoring Ottoman control over the conflict is the solution. ❋ Unknown (2009)
It may take a little time to get a clear picture of all factions and interrelationships involved (additionally there’s the Markovian society which fell to the Collective) but the conflict is actually well-imagined and intriguing. ❋ Unknown (2008)
This conflict is a historical conflict, American support is Truman era historical support. ❋ Unknown (2008)
1) i want [mint] ice cream.
I don’t no conflict, but i want [strawberry].
DIE! [MO FO]!
2) i like to listen to conflict. ❋ Harsh_but_Fair (2004)
Whats a better conflict record? [Its time] to see whos who or the first [standard issue] [collection] ❋ Mikey Misconduct (2004)
Man, [CONFLICT] is still [pumping] out awesome [music]? ❋ Benjones (2005)
Example: [What is] the [conflict] in [the story]? Or: Hey, what’s the conflict here? ❋ Unknown Unicorn That Flys (2015)
[AOTS] management should hire [Alison] because she’s better qualified, but [Sara Jean] is sexier. They must feel conflicted. ❋ Hurlyburly3 (2010)
«This week I had confliction with [Dean] because he has a [big dong]. This affects my [time in] the house because…» ❋ Speakafreaka (2005)
“Mark and [Terry] are [butting heads] over product development again.”
“No surprise there, this place is full of [workplace conflict], I’m just glad I’m gone at the end of the month.» ❋ AKACroatalin (2015)
Person: Dude [every] time [you go] to the [club] there’s a Rivals-Conflict.
BY: GiovanniDYMillYentei ❋ MillYentei DYSlick (2020)
«Sorry I can’t go to skiing this weekend, I have a Fun Conflict. I am going to Vegas with my buddies instead.»
«Looks like we have a Fun Conflict on Saturday. We have to choice between [Jack’s] [tailgate party] and [Jill’s] hot tub party» ❋ Reddlynx99 (2011)
Don’t [buy] [conflict diamonds], it’s [wrong]! ❋ Acidplanet_Member (2005)
What is Conflict?
Conflict is any disagreement between two or more people and groups. Whenever two or more people have different interests, values, goals, and understanding conflict arises. It may be in a person, within people, within groups, or within organizations.
In other words, conflict refers to all kinds of opposition or antagonistic interaction between or among individuals and groups. It exists whenever one party perceives that another party has hampered or is about to hamper, the accomplishment of goals.
Conflicts indicate a scarcity of various things such as understanding, agreement, and compatibility among people in a sharing environment. It can arouse emotions and anxiety, lower satisfaction, and decrease performance.
In organizations, conflicts arise due to various reasons, the one reason is when employees do not get the salary they expected. Similarly, when one employee agrees with the given responsibilities and another is not.
Definitions:
- Conflict involves incompatible behavior; one person interfering, disrupting, or in some other way making another’s action less effective – Dean Tjosvold
- Conflict is disagreement among two or more individuals, groups, or organizations – Griffins
- Conflict consists of all kinds of opposition or antagonistic interaction. It is based on scarcity of power, resources, or social position and differing value structure – Stephen P Robbins
So, conflict is a process by which a person or assembly senses frustration in the pursuance of some plans, goals, or objectives. It is closely related to change and inter-personal dealings.
Views On Conflict
There are 3 views on the conflict, the traditional view, the human relations view, and the internationalist view. They explained as:
The Traditional View
According to the traditional view, all conflicts are harmful and avoidable. Conflict is viewed negatively and associated with turbulence, agitation, destruction, irrationality, and violence.
The Human Relations View
Behavioral scientists argue that it is a natural and inevitable outcome in any organization and as such should be accepted. Conflicts are bound to arise in organizations because an organization is composed of individuals having different goals, values, and perceptions. So conflict is unavoidable and need not always be harmful. Under certain conditions, it could lead to more innovative solutions to problems.
The Internationalist View
This is the modern view on conflicts. Here the disagreement is regarded as not only inevitable but also useful. The internationalists argue that if harmony, peace, and cooperativeness prevail in an organization for a long time, the organization is likely to become non-responsive to innovation and change. A minimum level of conflict is required to enhance competency and make itself critical and creative.
Features are:
- It occurs when two or more parties pursue mutually exclusive goals, values, or events.
- It can exist either at talent or over level.
- It is the opposite of cooperation.
- It is a dynamic process.
- It indicates a series of events.
- It is a misunderstanding.
- It is inevitable.
- It is a reason for creativity.
- It is a part of us everyone’s life.
Types of Conflict
Intra-Personal Conflict (Within an Individual)
Intra-personal conflict arises inside an individual. It arises due to divergent goals and multiple roles, which the individual is expected to play.
Goal conflicts occur when an individual faces the problem of choosing among competing goals. Role conflicts arise when the expectations of a role are materially different or opposite and the individual can meet one expectation only at the cost of other expectations.
It also occurs due to role ambiguity. Role ambiguity occurs when an individual is not clear regarding his duties and responsibilities.
Interpersonal Conflict (Between Individuals)
It occurs in a condition when two or more persons interact with one another. Such interaction may take place between peers or seniors and subordinates.
The conflict between them may arise due to the difference in their choices made by them. It is a result of an individual’s inability to confirm the norms of the groups. The main causes of it are personality differences, perceptions, clash of values and interests, power and status differences, scarcity of resources, etc.
Inter-Group Conflict
It occurs between two or more groups in the organization. Many intergroup conflicts arise for organizational causes rather than interpersonal causes.
The conflict between line and staff, between production and sales department, and between management and unions, are examples of group conflicts. The major reasons for intergroup conflicts are competition for scarce resources, joint decision making, task interdependence, introduction to change, and incompatible goals.
Inter-Organizational Conflict
Inter-organizational conflict is called when it arises between two organizations. It is a result of business competition. Both the conflicting parties generally engage in providing similar types of services or products. Both parties become barriers to each other’s success.
Causes and ways to Resolve Conflicts
There may be various causes/reasons for conflicts in the organization. The manager has to take the necessary steps to resolve these conflicts. The most causes of conflicts in the organization are pointed out below:
- Misunderstanding
- Personal Differences
- Information Deficiency
- Goal Differences
- Lack of Role Clarification
- Threat To Status
- Lack of Trust
- Scarce Resources
- Poor Communication
- Organizational Changes
The manager should take careful steps to resolve these conflicts, if not the organizational goals can not be achieved in time and with expected resources. He should go for conflicts stimulation, prevention, and resolution techniques. They are:
Conflict Stimulation techniques:
- Reorganizing
- Communication
- Encouraging Competition, and
- Bringing in Outsiders
Conflict Prevention Techniques:
- Super Ordinate Goals
- Reduce Interdependence
- Exchange of Personnel
- Liaison group
- Appeal to higher Authority
Conflict Resolution Techniques:
- Problem Solving
- Accommodation
- Compromising
- Avoidance
Learn More: Full Guide on These Conflicts Management Techniques
Conflicts: Definitions, Meaning and Types (With Diagram)
After reading this article you will learn about:- 1. Introduction to Conflicts 2. Meaning of Conflict 3. Types of Conflicts 4. Conflict Process 5. Getting to the Roots 6. Identify your Orientation 7. Getting to the Emotional Roots 8. Behavioural Change 9. Learn to Listen Emphatically to Others 10. Set the Stage for Mutual Gain Solutions 11. The Step by Step Technique and Other Details.
Definitions to Conflicts:
When one or more people try to work together each having his independent personality, a situation tends to rise when one’s interests and expectations clash with those of the others. It is as natural as working together. It is the interactive behaviour at individual and organizational level, which is conducive to the state of frustration and leads to emergence of conflicts.
It is a disruptive state of mind, individually when one is at disadvantageous position than what one thinks to be, and collectively it is a state of mind where sense of competition exists between interdependent groups who perceive their needs ideas and goals are incompatible.
In simple words conflict is a state of mind when you and someone else in contact with you, directly and/or indirectly, try to compete for achieving set objectives. This is a time and energy absorbing activity, which nobody likes but is, compelled to get into it to win over the other. Still it is not so much of a negative activity.
A conflict indicates communication and an urge on the part of the people involved to be listened to. In an organization these disruptive actions sometimes prove to be highly constructive in nature. They provide opportunities for exchange of information and creation of new ideas.
The position of a manager in a conflict zone is very difficult. His key role is to be a target listener with empathic attitude. This attitude is the basis for resolving conflicts.
He has to listen to what people say and what they do not say, what they mean and what they do not mean. The emotional control on his part is vital. The moment he brings into his own emotions the direction of the conflict will change from constructive to disruptive.
Meaning of Conflict:
(i) It is a process involving two or more parties or individuals where one feels that the other person or party is depriving of his rightful gains or what he perceives as rightful gains.
(ii) It is a situation under which you and someone else though depend on each other or need each other yet tend to compete for achieving different objectives and create a winning situation for yourself without showing any intension or willingness to budge.
(iii) Or in other words conflict is a sort of competition between parties who perceive their actions to needs, goals, or ideas to be incompatible.
Types of Conflicts:
Conflicts are basically of two types: the functional type and dysfunctional type. The supportive conflicts, which add or tend to add to the overall performance of the individual or the group, are called the functional conflicts. On the other hand if the conflicts tend to create hindrance to the individual or group activities such conflicts are called the dysfunctional conflicts.
Both these groups are further divided in to objective and personal types of conflicts. The objective types are based on facts and figures, which are at variance from the given situation to the one visualized as should be.
For example punishing an employee for not achieving set goals and his counter response to your allegations. Personal type conflicts are based on personal assumptions and perceptions. For example criticizing an employee for his attitude.
Conflict Process:
The conflict develops in five phases. The starting point for a conflict to show up is when someone feels (1st phase) that what is due to him or her is not being given acknowledged or awarded. That feeling gradually grows up and the individual or the group show it up outwardly (2nd phase) as their emotional outburst or a behavioral pattern not expected of them in the normal circumstances.
The feelings get specific words of expression (3rd phase) for others to know what they feel. This is the phase when they let others know or realize or feel that what they want or expect and are not getting. Verbal or written forms of expressions indicate the outward behavior (4th phase).
The individual or the group at this stage expects others (those in power or those with decision-making powers or those who are perceived as having some facilities, which the aggrieved individual or the group does not have) to listen to them or notice them. Finally the causes of distortion/conflict are discussed and resolved (5th phase).
An employee feels he is not paid enough for the job he is doing. He gets disturbed. He starts making mistakes or coming to the work in untidy way. He becomes touchy and picks up argument on trivial issues. His manager or boss calls to discuss his behaviour.
The employee says that he is not satisfied with his pay packet for the work he is contributing to the organization. The manager realizes and offers some increase. The employee is not satisfied and asks for more. The manager puts up the final figure and says take it or leave. The employee may take it or leave depending on his situation.
Getting to the Roots:
The word conflict is an indicator of an organization’s and a managers’ functional health. If the atmosphere is devoid of conflicts it represents a lethargic environment and a state of stagnation precursor to vanishing act. On the other hand the presence of conflicts indicate a healthy environment where the interpersonal interaction is taking place.
The positive side of the conflicts is that they cause changes, facilitate group cohesiveness, improve overall effectiveness and bring about a sense of competitiveness in the organization. The negative side of the conflicts is that, if uncontrolled they can bring disaster for the organization or for the manager concerned.
The role of the managers is to keep a proper balance of the functional and dysfunctional conflicts. His prime job is to eliminate the recurrence of the dysfunctional conflicts and promote the functional conflicts.
The manager is more often operating on interpersonal basis which is laced with numerous problems or the conflicts, some are small and some are large enough to cause concern. Emotions, reasons and actions are the three tools with which he traverses to pinpoint the problems and find ways and means to resolve them.
In real life situations conflicts often involve the objective type and the personal type. As manager you have to learn to recognize and handle the issues separately. The size or the magnitude of the conflicts is also important issue.
The conflicts usually involve several issues composing of larger and smaller ones. Generally the larger one is one surrounded by numerous smaller ones eclipsing the larger one from clear view. The smaller issue especially the personal ones can grow and ultimately escalate the zone of the conflict.
The conflicts tend to grow when each party expects a vastly different outcome. If one party expects to lose and the other party expects to win, you are more likely to perceive and treat the conflict as larger.
People argue more when they think they do not have many options or believe there isn’t enough of something to go around. The more they argue the more they invest their identities in a position and the more they get locked into those positions.
The situations and environments also impact conflicts. This includes the history of your relationship with the other party or parties irrespective whether the situation is social or work related.
Cultural differences such as gender, race, religion, social status, and nationality also affect conflicts and its resolution. We tend to like and agree with people who like us. We tend to disparage people who are different or have different values.
The individual personality does play a significant role in conflict resolution. There are no set rules to pinpoint the personality traits but the most prominent one is the self-mastery.
While trying to understand the nature and extent of the conflicts, it would be better to keep a positive frame of mind. Gain as much as possible knowledge about the issues involved. Establish a working relationship based on trust and open communication with the other party.
Get everyone involved to cooperate on a solution instead of trying to change others. Manage group processes and decision making by clarifying the real issue and expanding the range of options.
Identify your Orientation:
(i) How you as the manager handle the conflicts? You can attempt to “win”, you try to find a compromise, and you try to avoid the conflict at all the costs. Generally the more important an outcome is to you the more likely you are to adopt a style that will achieve that outcome.
(ii) A competitive orientation for example concentrates on getting what you want at the expense of the other party. When you try to maximize both your interests and those of the other party; you exhibit a collaborative style of conflict resolution.
(iii) On the other hand when outcomes are not important to you, you probably try to accommodate or avoid the other party.
(iv) Accommodating behaviour sacrifices your interests for those of the other party. Avoiding behaviour does not try to maximize anyone’s interests.
(v) The individualistic orientation exists when you try to do as well as you can for yourself without concern for the other party. It is essentially self-focused competition.
(vi) During a conflict you may exhibit one orientation while other party exhibits another. If only one of you is competitive the dynamics of the relationship will be competitive. When one party is threatening, critical, or condescending, for example, the other party is likely to follow suit.
(vii) For creating a collaborative outcome both of you must act collaboratively. Your willingness to collaborate is just not enough.
(viii) You must create and maintain the type of constructive environment that will foster a collaborative orientation in the other party. You must minimize competition in the resolution process.
Getting to the Emotional Roots:
(i) Identifying your motivational orientation explains how you react during conflict. It is very important to identify why you act that way. Whenever you are confronted with a new situation you process the information in two ways; rationally and emotionally.
Rational processing is thoughtful, analytical, and reflective. It weighs data carefully and is a time consuming activity. Emotional processing is quick, impulsive, and powerful. It takes in big chunks of information and acts immediately. Good example is “whether to fight or to flee” in the face of eminent danger.
(ii) People react to conflicts emotionally rather than rationally because the emotional mind is based on perceptions rather than facts. As a result it is often wrong. In order to respond to a conflict rationally instead of emotionally, you must become aware of what you are feeling and why. The key to this self-awareness lies in identifying your core interpersonal zones.
(iii) There are five interpersonal zones and all the time some one is trying to invade through them to reach you, how you react would depend how active those particular zones are at the time of invasion. Calm & Composed zone. Your emotions and behaviour are cool, calm, and composed.
You are at your best and you know about it. When you are in this zone during a conflict, you interact easily, exchange information freely, and work towards an agreement that satisfies everyone. The Reactive zone: You feel uncomfortable, you unconsciously associate a current situation or event with a negative memory, which causes you to feel, frustrated, agitated, and defensive.
This keeps you from resolving conflicts peacefully or successfully. Moral zone: It houses your attitudes. Your definitions of right and wrong spring from this zone. Values form the core of many of your beliefs, emotions, and behaviors, even though you may not always behave in ways that reflect them. Social zone.
It refers to the way you prefer to interact with others and how you generally behave towards them People, activities, and things energize some people. Others get their energy from the world of ideas, emotions, and impressions. Cognitive zone: It represents the way we gather, evaluate, and act on information that we receive.
(iv) People with low level of concern for others and self tend to avoid conflicts. People with high self-concern and low concern for others tend to behave in a competitive manner during conflicts. People with low self-concern and high concern for others tend exhibit-accommodating behavior during conflicts. People with high self-concern and high concern for others show collaborative tendencies during conflicts.
Behavioural Change:
If you want to be a successful manager even during crises and conflicts then the area which requires first attention is your own behavioural pattern. This is a conditioned reflex pattern, which you develop over a length of time, and is not a fixed proposition, it can be changed, if circumstances so require. How can we change our behavioural pattern?
(i) There are four principles of interaction to guide your behavior, the discipline, desire, patience; detached responsibility; acceptance; and mutual gain. During conflicts it is not difficult to slip into familiar pattern of behaviour that is to pull ranks to get your way or perhaps give in to shorten interaction.
The main problem is that competing, accommodating, or even avoiding becomes your comfort zone each time you win using this orientation. Furthermore even when these strategies resolve short-term objectives they often worsen personal issues in the long run. Collaboration is tougher to learn than the other strategies because you have to control your emotions. However it yields the best results.
(ii) Dealing with conflicts usually makes people feel uncomfortable. That is why it is so much important for you to develop discipline.
(iii) Learn to focus on your objectives and constructive resolution. This will help you persevere if the other party becomes competitive or insulating during a conflict situation
(iv) Working towards a constructive resolution will be easier if you want to collaborate. In other words you must desire a constructive process, not just a favourable ending.
(v) Be willing to let the interaction follow its natural course. This takes patience.
(vi) You must recognize that other parties might not have the necessary skills to manage conflicts and will need more time to work through their issues.
(vii) You must learn to detach responsibility. When you worry, obsessed, and stay preoccupied with a problem or person, you are too attached. You confuse objective issues with personal ones and you start dealing with others from your hot zone.
(viii) If you find yourself in the said position, just step back, recognize that you can control some things but not others. Accept responsibility for the things you can control like your thoughts and reactions.
(ix) Identify the things that you cannot control and let them loose from your intended grip especially the other party’s thoughts and actions.
(x) You can like someone without liking their behaviour so learn to separate the other party in the conflict from their actions.
(xi) Try to think about why some specific behaviour bothers you and why the other party is acting that way. How does they perceive you. Put yourself in that person’s place and feel the way he might have felt.
(xii) Have a mind set for mutual gains; collaboration should be a win-win situation for you and everybody else in the conflict. This action would require open communication and trust, a shared perception that there are enough resources to satisfy everyone, recognition of the common interests and goals, and rationally fair behaviour.
(xiii) You must understand that you lose when you get too much attached. You must learn when to say no and say it firmly. You must know what is acceptable to you and what is not, never let anybody overstep on those limits.
Learn to Listen Emphatically to Others:
(i) What is emphatic listening? It is the ability to feel for another person’s situation, to put yourself in another person’s place. It requires what the other person is saying and what is the explicit meaning as well as how that person feels about the issue and what is the implicit meaning.
(ii) Listening involves more than hearing what the other person is saying. It involves comprehending what that other person is feeling. When you listen passively you are not really listening at all. You simply hear the words but not the meaning. Responsive listening is the same except you occasionally punctuate the speaker’s remarks by some short words like “yes” or “I see”.
If you are thinking about what you are going to say while the speaker is talking than in that case you are listening selectively. If on the other hand you are going to ask some clarifications than you are listening attentively. In our day-to-day life we listen in these four categories (passively, responsively, selectively and attentively) but none of these forms takes in what the speaker needs or is feeling.
It is only when you actively listen do the speaker, you tend to realize the meaning behind the said words. At this level you look for nonverbal clues such as postures and facial expressions and pay attention to his tone.
You may try to restate or re-phrase what is said to verify your own comprehension. You understand that the person has feelings even though you may not feel they are justified. This is the stage of emphatic listening.
(iii) Try to attend to both the contents and emotions of what the other person is saying. Just stop whatever you are doing and give full attention to the speaker. Listen for the overall substance, tone of voice, rate of speech, and inflection. You must be alert to his body language and facial expressions.
(iv) Do not interrupt unless there is no way.
(v) Do not sit on the judgment and suspend your decision and analysis. You may be tempted to offer advice as you listen, just do not do it. Be aware of what you are feeling and make sure these emotions do not suppress what the other person is saying.
(vi) Try your best to convey your understanding of the explicit and implicit meanings, and when you speak don’t simply rephrase what you heard rather dig deeper. Try to understand what the speaker is feeling. Make sure your remarks reflect this understanding.
(vii) You must remain sensitive to the signs of resistance and defensiveness. If you misinterpret the speaker’s intent or meaning, you will see the signals such as closed body posture or an unhappy expression.
Set the Stage for Mutual Gain Solutions:
Your goals in a conflict situation should always be to seek a resolution based on mutual gain. That is the beauty of collaboration. It might sound simple; identify a common or shared goal and then work to achieve it. But you must have certain conditions in place in order to produce a constructive outcome.
Make sure you establish the following at some point in the process:
(i) Create opportunities, as much as possible, for face to face interaction. Talking in person lets you see nonverbal clues that indicate what the other party is feeling.
(ii) Develop high acquaintance potential. You have to like the other party as a person and be willing to establish a relationship that goes beyond the issues of the disputes.
(iii) Try to get any third party on board before settling the dispute otherwise they could undermine your efforts.
(iv) Frame the conflicts as problem you and the other party must work together.
(v) Try your best to induce the other party to come out with probable solutions and put forward yours too.
(vi) When you are trying to arrive at some workable solutions to a problem just keep an open agenda and do not try to, and do not let the other party also to do so, pin you down with a specific agenda, keep this agenda as much open as possible.
The only agenda you should have is to work towards mutual gains. In the event you set up your specific agenda it would send a message to the other party that you are interested in meeting your own needs.
The Step by Step Technique:
Collaboration is a continuous process moving in steps like preparation, initiation, facilitation, understanding, review, and conclusions and agreement.
(I) The Interaction Stage:
i. Plan to spend as much time on this first step as you would be spending on resolving the conflict.
ii. Organize your thoughts so that you can see the big picture.
iii. Ask yourself what are your and the other party’s comfort and hot zones.
iv. Is the other party typically competitive or collaborative?
v. How will you adapt or modify your behavior to be effective with the other party?
vi. Think about the factors that affects the conflict.
vii. Identify the objective and the personal issues.
viii. Determine where you and the other person stands on these issues.
ix. Develop your own questions and counter questions.
x. If you were in the other party’s place, what would you want?
xi. Consider any additional information, data, or expertise that you would need in order to understand the issues.
xii. Review the nature of the past relationship.
xiii. Consider why the current working relationship is becoming difficult.
xiv. Breakdown the power distribution equation and find out who is more powerful.
xv. Ask yourself, will this be an ongoing relationship?
xvi. At the end ask yourself whether you have the authority to make and follow through on the commitments
(II) Initiate the Exchange:
You cannot assume the other party knows there is a problem, even if that person knows, he or she is not likely to initiate the resolution process. Facing conflicts is what most people prefer to avoid. So initiate the exchange by letting the other party know that you have an issue you want to discuss. State the result, your feelings, and situation that caused the result—the issue.
Make sure you identify the situation as your problem not a problem you are having with other persons. It is better to say “I am upset that I didn’t receive the financial analysis as yet” than to say “You did not send me the financial report as yet”. In this case the use of “you” is accusatory and only makes the other party defensive. This transforms an objective issue into a personal issue.
At this stage ask the third party for his opinion, feedback and help. You could involve the third party by asking question like” Help me to understand what is going on” instead of “Why haven’t I received the report”. Involving the other party provides you with more information about the issue.
It secures the other party’s commitment to the resolution and signals your acceptance of him or her. You are in fact saying that the individual is capable and important to the resolution process.
(III) Facilitate the Relationship:
Adopt the kind of personal style that encourages collaboration. Start by communicating openly. If you take the lead the other party will follow suit. The more you discuss about yourself the more the other party will reveal to you. Show that you are a person who trusts and can be trusted.
While the trust doesn’t guarantee collaboration, not having trust increases the probability you and the other party will end up competing. It is very important that you get to know the other party as much as possible. Look for opportunities to interact. The more you are exposed to someone the more likely you are to like that person which strengths your collaborative efforts.
Complete the Resolution Process:
This is the last stage for reaching a resolution. The three steps described earlier (interaction, exchange, and facilitation) are the beginning of the resolution process. The further steps are, understanding the interests, examining the solutions, and reaching the consensus.
(i) Find out what the other party wants.
(ii) Why these interests are so much important to them. This is the stage when you use your empathetic listening powers to the hilt You must not only listen but also keep your eyes and ears open and active.
(iii) Every problem has more than one solution. In order to find the best agreement one that offers both parties mutual gain, you have to explore many options.
(iv) One way to find many options is to conduct a brainstorming session. Allow the possibilities to flow without judging, discussing, or criticizing them. Your purpose is to get the ideas out on the table.
(v) Another way is to invite third parties into the process. Their perspective may offer just the right objective insight that you need.
(vi) Once you have identified a variety of solutions analyze them minutely for suitability and unsuitability. Look at them from various angles. Create different combinations and evaluate each.
(vii) Finally you arrive at the most optimum solution. This solution must meet the legitimate needs of every one. It must be fair and each party understands it and is willing to accept and commit to it.
(viii) Before you finalize the agreement just go over the interests, the objectives, the measurement standards and the final solution. At each point stop and make sure everyone understands and is in agreement with it.
(ix) Some people may be in a hurry to wrap-up the process at this stage but don’t allow them to rush things instead do it right.
(x) The final step is to gain commitment. Reach a consensus on how you will implement and evaluate the solution.
(xi) During implementation keep in mind that you cannot control whether the other party lives up to their commitment. You can only control your own actions.
Have an Alternative Plan Ready Before Attempting Resolution:
Conflict resolutions do not always work for reasons you cannot anticipate or control. Therefore you should have an alternative course of action prepared before you enter the resolution process. This alternative gives you the freedom to walk away from a specific process that has turned bad. It keeps you from feeling you have no other choice than to accommodate the other party.
Meeting the Challenge:
As you try to resolve the conflicts you are faced with numerous challenges but do not let the challenges hold you back. Generally you dislike someone because that person has invaded one of your interpersonal zones. Think about what that person does that makes you uncomfortable.
Now think about why he or she might be acting that way. Try to understand how the individual perceives you. Spend some time with the other party. Get to know him or her outside the context of the conflict. If this fails detached responsibility and exercise your alternative.
There is always the haunch that the other party won’t collaborate. This is the time to listen empathetically. Try to understand why the other party is resistant? Have you sent conflicting signals about your intent to collaborate? Does the individual have the necessary skills? Many people who do not like to collaborate suffer from lack of self-esteem. Use the principle of interaction to engage them in the resolution process.
Sometimes we feel that the other party won’t talk. Try asking open-ended questions that require more than ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. Or use silence to draw them out. Silence creates a healthy tension that makes people want to break the dead air. Maintain discipline, desire, and patience and wait for the other party to speak first. Keep in mind that some people need to work their thoughts before discussing them.
There is also a fear of being duped by the other party. In that case do your homework during the preparation phase and develop a solid alternative. This will help you to determine whether you have reached a wise resolution.
As long as the solution satisfies every one’s long term interests, it won’t matter whether the other party has duped you. In fact may be you satisfied an important personal need and in the process boosted the other party’s self-esteem.
Finally there is the growing concern that how can I establish trust in the other party? The answer is very simple. The trust is a matter of choice. All you can do is to behave in trustworthy manners.
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