At a young age, most of us are taught the importance of integrity. We are told that a person who has integrity is honest and consistently adheres to strong moral and ethical principles and values. But people who have integrity also keep their word—to others and themselves.
If you have integrity, you stand by your commitments. You do what you say you will do.
So, do you have integrity?
How to Tell if You Have Integrity
If you aren’t sure you have integrity, answer the following questions. Even if you feel sure that you are a person of integrity, answer them anyway. (You might be surprised at what you discover.)
Do you stand by your commitments?
Do you keep your commitments to others?
Do you keep your commitments to yourself?
Can people trust that you will do what you say you will do?
Do you trust that you will do what you tell yourself you will do?
If you are like most people, you have a lot of integrity when it comes to commitments you make to others. You stand by those commitments.
Also, if you are like most people, you lack integrity when keeping commitments made to yourself. You aren’t self-integral.
The Problem with Lack of Self-Integrity
You may think it’s most important to keep your commitments to others. Indeed, that’s essential if you want to be a person of integrity and have others consider this as one of your positive traits.
However, having integrity with yourself is just as important—maybe more so. A lack of integrity with yourself leads to many other problems.
For instance, when you tell yourself you will do something, and then you don’t keep that commitment, you lose trust in yourself. Your word to yourself becomes worthless. As a result, your self-esteem and self-confidence plummet. Without self-integrity, you stop believing what you tell yourself.
Let’s say you tell yourself you will start exercising every day, and you will begin tomorrow. But when tomorrow rolls around, you find any number of excuses not to exercise. By the end of the day, “exercise” isn’t an item you have checked off your to-do list.
As a result, you feel lousy about yourself. When you realize that you didn’t do what you told yourself you would do, your mind offers a constant stream of negative self-talk. You never do what you say you’re going to do. You have no backbone. You are lazy. You aren’t committed. You’re doomed to be fat and out of shape.
And then you look for ways to feel better. You don’t say to yourself, I’ll go exercise right now. No…instead, you think, I might as well not even bother…not happening…no way, no how. I’ll just watch Netflix and eat pizza.
In other words, you give up…
Your Level of Commitment
You give up because you lack trust in your ability to follow through. Each time you say you will do something and don’t, you feel worse about yourself. Therefore, it makes sense that you would want to avoid that awful feeling—not to mention the knowledge you failed…again.
The other reason you give up involves your level of commitment to whatever you said you would do. If you don’t follow through, you aren’t committed or committed enough.
Period.
Your Life Indicates Your Commitments
Look at your life. It’s an indication of your commitments. You are committed to the things you see and do.
If you see squalor. You are committed to squalor. If you see stacks of bills you need to pay, you are committed to late bill payment. On the other hand, if you see a neat and tidy home, you are committed to neatness and tidiness. If you have no bills to pay—and no debt—you are committed to prompt bill payment and only spending the money you possess.
Let’s say you tell yourself you want to exercise every morning right after you wake up. Yet, you hit the snooze button four times before getting out of bed and then have no time to exercise. You are committed to snoozing, not exercising.
If you claim you want to read before bed but watch television each night until it’s time to go to sleep, you are committed to your television watching habit. You are not committed to reading.
If you say you want to develop a healthy eating habit, but you eat a massive bowl of ice cream every night after dinner, you are committed to eating ice cream—not to eating a healthy diet.
Habits Come from Commitment
Your habits are the things to which you have committed. You do them consistently and by rote.
Maybe you have the habit of meditating daily. That’s a commitment you made to yourself and kept. If you have the habit of journaling every day, you are committed to that habit, too.
But the examples used earlier—exercising, reading, eating a healthy diet—these are not habits because you aren’t committed to them.
You have the habit of not committing to the things you claim you are committed to. And that means you lack integrity with yourself.
Break Your Habit of Breaking Your Word
So, how do you break your habit of breaking your word? First, decide who you want to be. Then be that person every single day.
I used to hit the snooze alarm three or four times every morning. I told myself I really wanted to get up earlier and have a morning routine that included exercise, meditation, and journaling. When I was still hitting snooze several years later, it was apparent that I wasn’t committed to getting up earlier or the morning routine.
Then I decided I would be the type of person who gets up when the alarm rings.
The next day, the alarm rang, and I habitually hit the snooze button. As I rolled over in bed, I thought, *I am no longer a person who hits the snooze button. I am a person who gets out of bed when the alarm rings.” I turned off the alarm and got up. And I’ve been doing that every day since.
Who do you want to be? A person who exercises daily? A person who eats a healthy diet? A person who reads daily?
Decide. Commit.
Then be that person. As a result, you will see your commitment come to life. And you will become self-integral.
Don’t Negotiate with Your Mind
Another way to develop more integrity is to stop negotiating with your mind. Consider the affirmation Tony Robbins recommends: Now I am the voice.
Decide what you will think at any given time. Shut down the “Habit Voice” in your head that wants you to continue what you have been doing. It’s the voice that says, “It’s okay…you don’t have to exercise today. You can do it tomorrow.”
Only, that’s what it tells you every single day.
Stop listening! Don’t just ignore the voice; it will only get louder. Instead, dismiss it. Then think a thought of your choosing.
Your mind likes habits. It sees them as safe, which means any new thoughts or behaviors are unsafe. Thus, your self-talk will always tell you to keep things as they are.
When your mind says, Let’s not do that today or *But you could just do ___ instead,” remember it is your Habit Voice talking to you. Dismiss it. Put your attention on what you have committed to do instead. Affirm aloud, “Now I am the voice!”
Also, remind yourself who you want to be. Say aloud, “I am a person who does ____, and I am not going to do just that right now!”
Then, do it. Keep your word to yourself. Be self-integral.
Integrity: As Good as Your Word
You’ve likely heard the saying, “You are only as good as your word.” While you could argue that there is more to integrity—or your character—than keeping your word, it is an important piece.
Words have enormous creative power. Whether you speak to others or yourself, your words create. Each time you say you want to do something, you start the creative process. When you keep your word, you put energy behind it. You make an affirmation of action.
That’s why self-integrity causes transformation even if the action is as small as exercising daily, getting up with the alarm goes off, or reading before bed.
If you keep your word to yourself even once, you know you can do it again. And the ripple effect creates transformation in you and your life.
Do you struggle to be self-integral, or do you keep your word to yourself consistently? Tell me in a comment below, and, please, share this post with someone who might benefit from reading it.b55
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The person who walks the talk becomes a bow worthy
Since the time you could recall, the most respected person is the one who obeyed his commitment. Keeping a word is the moral value and there shouldn’t be a reason to be moral.
To follow ethics, principles, and values, there isn’t any other reason than to help yourself. This a basic life lesson that is a self-help gesture. You ought to stick to the value without seeking for a reason.
Still, if you ever find yourself in the middle of a dilemma – whether to keep your words or not; and at what cost, the below-mentioned reasons might help you:
You maintain your own identity
Not because you keep your words you create identity, but it gives you a trait of being trusted. Keeping the word that you gave to others is the second thing. It always begins with keeping the word with self. If you can’t trust yourself, you cannot expect others to trust you.
Creating an identity is the external factor, though. However, in a social world where humans are social animals, identity is everything. When you keep your words it becomes a part of your personality.
You Obey your words for yourself not for others
When you keep your words to others, you are doing it for yourself. The other person will surely be glad to notice that your actions followed your words. But most of all, you will be silently thanking yourself for this act.
When you keep your words to others, you are doing a favour to yourself. You know from within that you have obeyed what you have committed. Other moral things and karmic things as a ripple effect of your deed, if you are concerned about, will fall in their place. That is not your duty, anyway.
You will never fall in your own eyes
Beyond everything else, you will rise in your own sight. You know the fact that you performed your best under any circumstance to keep your words. This itself will be enough reason to respect yourself.
Your value is created by you. Others are meant to judge you, no matter how you are. Creating your worth has so much do with the way you behave. You give people the margin of pointing you out and considering you as a granted being. With the behaviour that is enough self-respecting, you tell people you are a person with certain principles.
Not keeping your words will cost you inner peace
When you don’t keep the given word, it costs you your mental peace. Deep inside, you feel sorry for not able to deliver what was promised by you. Whomever you know as a great person has achieved greatness by staying committed to fulfilling his own words.
However, not every word that we speak could be accomplished. Again, as not keeping your words could hurdle your peace of mind. Choose your soul’s liberty over ethics, always. So, keep your words to yourself and others to be in peace with yourself.
This gesture determines your life standard
Lord Rama is still adjectived as ‘ekavachni’, known for keeping his words. It means, he obeys what he spoke. No matter if he has escaped his body while following the principle.
What did this principle of his give him? It gave him liberty and set the life standard for him that even thousands year past, he is known for his standards. He who achieved this level of living standards was always been and is still respected.
Your relationship will root deep
Any relationship is based on the foundation of trust. And trust is built on the basis of keeping the words you speak. Once you start keeping your words, your relationship will start strengthening more and more.
When you are giving so much of your punctuality to your relationship, the other person is intended to love you back. Also, the other person will always return you your loyalty by keeping his/her words as well.
You will find yourself happy
When you keep your words, you get that feeling of achievement. You know what it is like to walk a mile more to walk your talk. This act of little struggle that you encounter makes you happier about your values.
You won’t find yourself happy by relaxing just for the sake of relaxing. The real happiness is when you keep your words and earn respect from yourself. Your soul is relaxed then and you boost your self-esteem.
You will live peacefully with no regret
Even if no one notices your efforts or the act of keeping your words, you will not regret it. when you are not able to keep the words to yourself and others, you start feeling guilty about it.
Also, at times, you keep your words, and the one who doesn’t keep gets benefitted. Still, the aftermath of keeping the words is beautiful, always. Whatever the benefit of not keeping your words, is all external.
You will be more sensitive about your words
Once you start respecting your words, you will start using them wisely. Giving a word and not following it, is a waste of not words. It is disrespectful to yourself. This is an invitation to disgrace that you are offering others.
By being sensitive to your words, you are also being sensitive to yourself and the situation around you. This simple act of choosing what you say carefully is a subliminal act of being aware of everything around and within.
Bottom line
As you wish to be surrounded by loyal people, others also wish the same. So respect yourself and others by keeping your words.
What are your experiences of keeping your words and not keeping your words? Do let us know in the comments below.
Also read: 5 habits that are ruining your happiness
This Is a Story About Self-Love:
It doesn’t begin all that great. I urge you to stick with the story a bit, because there are many self-love lessons learned along the way that have the power to change your life. I know; these principles changed my life and I’ve heard from many, many others who are much happier today thanks to the self-love lessons learned here.
I Was Trapped in a Decades-Long Relationship That Needed to End
It was a relationship I couldn’t muster up the courage to walk away from. By all measures, it wasn’t good. At times it was just lackluster, but at other times it was excruciating.
The relationship was characterized by all sorts of negotiating and begging and judging and criticizing. Then there were days when I was drenched in anger and hate. Other days there was more compassion, but no matter how hard I tried, the dots never seemed to connect the way they should … it was simply not the way a loving relationship should be.
Every day was a struggle. The only moments I didn’t struggle was when I was escaping, running to things that would soothe me … in my case, that was usually high fat, sugary food. I had other coping mechanisms too, including excessive spending or sleeping. I even dabbled in zoned-out fantasizing to distract me from my utter dissatisfaction with the relationship.
It wasn’t working. It really, really wasn’t working. Worse, it was impacting every single aspect of my life. My job. My relationships with friends. My ability to have any sense of passion or purpose or direction in life.
It was so confusing. I was so conflicted. And all of this was because of this one relationship … this one lousy, lousy relationship.
I Just Knew My Life Could Be Better, But I Wasn’t Sure How
If I could make the relationship more loving, I knew it would make all the difference in the world. But it wasn’t loving. It wasn’t kind. And it definitely wasn’t working out.
After years and years and years of going down the same road the same way, I knew something had to change, though I really didn’t know how I was going to make a change. Still, this couldn’t go on. The pain of staying in the relationship as it was, was far too great. I had to find a way to begin again. It was time to start over.
So, here I am in the middle of my life in a brand new relationship. This time, it’s going to be different.
The relationship is with me. And, that’s why I can’t just walk away.
Here’s What I’ve Learned About Having a Happy and Loving Relationship with Yourself
We make a lot of choices in our lives. We take on a lot of habits that we think will protect us and make our lives easier. We use our experiences to come up with our own list of “rules” of how life works and we play by those rules, even if we’re not always aware of the games we’re playing.
Then one day, some of us look at our lives as say “What the hell have I done?” Well, that was me anyway.
Some life-defining decisions are made when we’re very small children who didn’t have the full capacity to analyze situations and understand what was actually going on.
I came out of childhood believing it was best to be very hard on myself. I believed it was very important to seek approval and validation from others. I learned to set low expectations for my life, but to work very, very hard anyway.
Without realizing it, I also adopted the self-limiting belief that it was okay to be mean to myself. It never occurred to me that the relationship I was forming with myself was shaping all my relationships with others, too. Man, what a mess I was!
Deep Down, You Know What Real Love Looks and Feels Like. The Secret Is Choosing to Give Yourself that Love.
I believe each of us is born into this world with a full comprehension of what divine love looks and feels like. We understand the beauty of what’s possible because we know we came from love.
Yet, little by little, we lose our memory of that love and instead instinctively seek the best versions of human love that we can find. We learn about the “rules” of human love from the people who are around us, usually our close family.
Looking back now, it’s easy to see how absurd many of those “rules of love” were and it is not at all surprising that I was ill-equipped to form the kind of self-love that I needed to navigate my life.
Today, I look back on my developing understanding of self-love with a new understanding. What if the lesson I was brought here to learn (and possibly teach) was the importance of self-love? And, what if it took me this long to accumulate all the experiences I needed to understand what I needed to understand? Then those experiences I went through were not in vain. They had a purpose.
Maybe there’s a purpose to your struggle in your relationship with yourself, too. Maybe you’re here to rise to the next level and this is your moment in time to do so. It didn’t happen for me earlier because I wasn’t ready. I’m ready now. It didn’t happen for you before because you weren’t ready. Now you’re ready.
Self-Love Lessons: 7 Steps to a Happier, More Loving Relationship with Yourself
1. Keep Your Word to Yourself.
In Miguel Ruiz’s best-selling book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)
, Ruiz lists four agreements you need to enter into in order to live a better life. The first is “Be impeccable with your word.”
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found it easier to keep my word to others than to keep my word to myself. That’s a mistake. When you tell yourself you’re going to do something for yourself, start doing it (if you need help, read: How to Start Keeping Promises to Yourself). You are every bit as important as the other people in your life to whom you always keep your word.
2. Self-Discipline Is Really All About Self-Care.
You don’t think twice about brushing your teeth every day, do you? You know that failure to do so would have ugly consequences in your life. The same goes for bathing. I could go on and on, but you get the point.
You already practice self-discipline in many areas of your life. Yet, there are probably at least a few areas where you’re dodging stepping up to the plate to commit to action. Examples of where many of us fall down: Healthy diet and exercise. Taking time to relax. Improving discipline with managing money. Budgeting our time wisely. Again, you get the picture.
Think for a moment about your life and where you’d benefit from being more self-disciplined. Your relationship with yourself will be infinitely better if you identify what you want and commit to the self-discipline required to get it.
Recommended resource: Daily Self-Discipline: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Build Self-Discipline and Achieve Your Goals
by Martin Meadows
3. Trust Your Instincts. Listen to Your Intuition.
Your inner compass wants the best for you so it’s time to start listening to your higher self. The benefits of hearing and heeding that inner voice that’s directing you to your best life is priceless.
Sonia Choquette, considered by many to be the world’s foremost expert on the subject of human intuition, offers 4 things you can do to activate your intuition.
Watch video.
Recommended resources from Sonia Choquette: Your 3 Best Super Powers
and Your Heart’s Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want
.
4. Practice Compassionate and Self-Affirming Self-Talk.
If you’re like me, your inner voice doesn’t always offer kind and compassionate feedback. In fact, my inner dialogue when I used to discuss me was downright mean. I would never talk to someone else that way, I’m amazed I was so self-critical for so years and never realized the damage I was doing.
It’s time to stop berating yourself. Loving relationships are built on honest yet loving dialogue; that’s true for your relationships with others, and it’s just as true with the relationship you have with yourself!
Louise Hay is hands-down the Queen of ideas when it comes to letting go of critical inner voices and nurturing yourself with uplifting messages. If this is an area that you know you need to improve on, considering getting The Essential Louise Hay Collection
(3 of her best books – You Can Heal Your life, You Can heal Your Body, and The Power is Within You — for less than $20!).
5. Celebrate the Body Temple and Care for It with Reverence.
Oh boy, do I have a long way to go on this path. I know I’m not alone, either.
I’ve been mistreating my body with inadequate exercise and poor nutrition for as long as I can remember. Instead of appreciating my body for the wonderful things it does for me, I admonish it for not being in the pleasing shape I want it to be in … which is ironic since I’m responsible for its round shape.
I’ve ignored my body’s plea for better nutrition and self-medicated with junk that isn’t fit fuel for anything. I’ve sat on the couch far too often when taking a walk would have nurtured both my body and spirit.
When you’re in a relationship with another person and they do wonderful things for you, you show appreciation, right? Well, you’re in a relationship with your body. I’m not expecting you or me or anyone else to change our entire relationship with our bodies overnight. Instead, I just encourage you to start looking at your body and appreciating it for all it does for you.
6. Stop Wasting Your Energy on Things that Don’t Matter.
What’s most important to you in life? I can tell you that the best way to know this is to think about the very last day of your life. That’s a time when what matters most comes into crystal-clear focus.
In Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
, here’s what she says are the things most people wish they would have done:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish I had let myself be happier
It’s time to stop giving so much attention to the issues, people, and things that simply don’t matter that much to you in the grand scheme of your life.
Don’t wait until the end of your life to figure out what’s most important to you. Decide right now and then make sure your thoughts, words, and behaviors all line up to serve the people and priorities that you know matter most to you.
Recommended resource: The Four Things That Matter Most – 10th Anniversary Edition: A Book About Living
by Ira Byock
7. Remember, Your Actions Speak Louder than Anything Else.
All the talk in the world isn’t worth a hill of beans if your actions don’t back it up.
You can say you love yourself, but if you’re regularly engaged in activities that rob you of energy, steal your passion, diminish your happiness, cause you unnecessary stress, or just leave you feeling flat-out awful, then you’re not in a loving relationship with yourself.
It’s time to start making life-affirming and self-loving choices, my friend.
Go Out Start Practicing Self-Love Every Day!
Remember this song that Whitney Houston made famous? I never really understood it before now, but it holds far more meaning for me today.
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
Excerpt from Lyrics to The Greatest Love of All
Written by Linda Creed, Michael Masser
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
For me, this isn’t a random blog post. It’s a map … a dialogue … a lifeline. It’s a new way to view myself and while I’m a little scared to go on this journey, I know my soul is longing for me to do just that.
The relationship you have with yourself ultimately determines the quality of every other relationship you have in your life. Yes, it’s that important.
I’m thrilled that you too have received the wake-up call to embark upon your own journey of self-love and self-respect, and I know we can support each other along the way. This is a new day for us. Let’s get going, shall we?
Books Mentioned in 7 Steps to a More Loving Relationship with Yourself
There are a number of ways we measure a person’s worth or our own worth. Perhaps none other evokes as much emotion as “keeping your word.”
Words hold immense power and emotion for us. In the right/wrong hand, they can start or squash a war! They can win the hearts and minds of people to a cause, or send somebody crashing to the depths of despair.
We use words to describe physical ‘things’ we can both see and touch.
The physical world you now see at one time didn’t have labels, but people like you and me began to label these “things” to communicate. Somebody had ideas and thoughts around the “things” and called them by sounds to begin simple language to share… to communicate.
Someone thought about a «thing«, words were spoken, and eventually items, buildings, cities, etc. were built.
Now that’s some pretty powerful stuff! And it all came about by the power of words.
But words are not only powerful… there’re also… important.
There’s two concepts of the importance of words I want to touch on in this resource. One is «keeping your word to others» and maybe surprisingly «keeping your word to yourself.»
I want to suggest to you both are effectively two sides of the same coin.
THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING YOUR WORD TO OTHERS:
Your words have and hold more power than you think. So, it’s important to monitor what words you speak, as well as keeping your word because this defines who you are and what people think of you.
Words are building blocks of your existence and they reflect the integrity of their creator.
Since words hold power, it’s both important to speak words that hold positive intentions and always be prepared to keep your word to others, as they’re a reflection of your intentions and integrity.
You’re only as good as your word!
This may sound philosophical, but it’s true. You see, what you tell others through your words is what they’ll come to believe about you.
If you say you’re going to do something, then you’d best follow through as people will judge you not only on what you say, but on what you do. If you accomplish what you say you’re going to do, then your words hold power in the future… you gain the trust of others.
Words, in essence. become a perfect reflection of your character in a positive light.
Conversely, if you’re constantly saying you’re going to do something and not follow through, your words will eventually hold a negative symbolism of your integrity — you never follow through on what you say you’re going to do. In other words… you lose the trust of others.
People wont hold value in what you say because your actions speak louder than your words, or in this case, your lack of action.
A friend or colleague who continually lets you down when they promise to do something, or be somewhere, soon looses your trust and respect. Conversely, most of us feel bad if we let somebody down because we realize some trust and respect for us, from that person, has been eroded.
When it comes to family we tend to go the extra mile. For example, if you promise your son or daughter you’ll pick them up at school for 2:30pm, you’ll make sure you’re on time.
The consequences of not being there is too painful and embarrassing to imagine. So, nothing will stand in your way.
Likewise, if you promise to visit a friend in hospital and visiting hours finish at 9:00pm then if you value the friendship you’ll find a way of keeping your word whatever crops up that day.
Somebody once said “You are your word” and this is true.
We measure our respect, or not, for politicians by analyzing if they kept their campaign promises. This is why we don’t respect or trust our politicians because most of them follow a road of broken promises. But they’re not the first or only to do this – just convenient as an example.
THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING YOUR WORD TO YOURSELF:
But keeping our word is not only about respecting others – keeping your word to yourself is all about respecting yourself.
We need to pay as much attention about keeping promises to ourselves as we do to others.
Just as people will judge you based on whether or not you keep your word to others, you also need to keep your word for your own well-being.
If you’re continually setting intentions for change or resolutions, but do not follow through on them, eventually you’ll not believe in your own abilities to achieve your goals and intentions.
Basically, when you speak words over yourself (say you are going to make changes, etc.) and always fail to follow through on them, your unconscious mind basically says to itself, “Yeah right! Good luck with that, same ole, same ole!”
Unfortunately, most of us have a historical string of broken promises to ourselves. I’m going to stop smoking. I’m going to lose weight. I’ll go to the gym to get fit.
We’ve all done it so don’t feel isolated or full of shame if you see yourself here.
The fact is keeping promises to yourself show you respect and consider yourself as important as others. And you are as important as others. It’s not about becoming so self-important you abandon all others… it’s about balance.
If you promise to go on a no sugar diet for the next week – avoid foods with sugar such as candy, bakery goods and carbohydrates such as pasta, pizza, potatoes, and white rice. This is every bit as important as meeting your child at school on time.
If your word to yourself is to exercise over the next month by taking a 20-minute brisk walk each day, then keeping this commitment is as vital as visiting your friend in hospital when you said you would.
Your unconscious mind is what keeps you in the same continual patterns and habits, and if you are continually not following through on your word, then your unconscious mind does not take you seriously and will offer the same old way of following through on your word — doing absolutely nothing!
You need to set intentions, ‘words’ you plan on keeping, or following through on.
This not only proves to others you’re serious and have integrity with keeping promises, but also for your own self (unconscious mind).
Keeping your word to yourself is a habit you can learn.
Start simple. Start a daily journal, and write out five tasks you want to achieve each day the night before or in the morning. These tasks don’t have to be grandiose or time consuming. Things like walking the dog, calling a friend, and reading a chapter in a book are fine.
Keep it simple and achievable.
As you complete each activity during the day tick it off. You’ll be amazed at how good you feel after number 5 is completed. Next day do whole thing again.
Exercise the muscle of “keeping your word to yourself” everyday. And quickly, you’ll feel confident to tackle life-changing events such as to quit smoking and losing weight because when you promise to do something… you do it – whatever it takes!
I’ve found those people who keep promises to themselves are more likely to be successful in making major life style changes.
But life can get messy and changing our habits difficult. So, with my clients looking to make significant changes in their life and be able to keep their focus I use various techniques to help them keep mentally tough! You can discover more about my Special Hypnosis Services Programs here >>>. These are offered in-office or online. If you have a specific challenge not covered by an existing service then reach out to see if I can help by contacting me here >>> for a free consultation.
Now go ahead and read the other articles below in this series.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
The Power of Spoken Words >>>
The Power of Words to Change your Outcomes >>>
Why Keeping Your Promise is Good for YOU! >>>
5 Daily Habits of Highly Successful People >>>
Self-Hypnosis Download MP3 Products For Purchase >>>
Erika Slater, CH
Director,
Free At Last Hypnosis
Does anyone else struggle to keep their word, not only to others but themselves?
As I continue my journey of self discovery, sometimes what I uncover can be hard to face. But I know true and lasting change can’t begin until I start being honest about some of my most destructive habits.
I can trace so much of my anxiety, depression and stress directly to not doing what I commit to, not following through, or in some cases not planning ahead. (Because planning ahead requires keeping commitments)
Why do we continue to do things that cause us so much pain, embarrassment and shame?
For me, I think low self-esteem and perfectionist tendencies led me to constantly second guess everything I did. This eventually led to serious burnout, and now I struggle to believe I can do things without literally driving myself crazy.
I’m working to rewire my thinking about my capabilities by setting small tasks to accomplish each day. For now, my only goal is to make sure I complete those tasks.
We tend to load up our calendars and to do lists so we can accomplish more. That might be great down the line, but if you struggle to keep your commitments now, a large list can be daunting, no matter how small the tasks. Starting with one or two items can give you some much needed ‘wins’ and the motivation to keep the ‘completion’ streak going.
Again, the goal right now is not how much you can get done, but to train your brain to trust that it will do the things you set out to do.
This is one area I’m excited to work on. It has cost me dearly in life. While it’s humbling and sometimes painful and uncomfortable to change, I know the pain of staying the same is far worse.
If you’re striving to make changes in your life, too, I applaud you. This is some of the most important work we can do.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Peace,
Kari