Jokes and word play

We love clever jokes here at LaffGaff and they don’t come any more ingenious than these clever wordplay jokes. We’re sure you’ll enjoy them too; after all, a good sense of humor is a sign you’re in good shape psychologically!

Header image for a page of clever wordplay jokes.

30 Best Play On Word Jokes

Here is a great collection of really clever wordplay jokes. Enjoy!

Armageddon

I was helping my son with his homework and he asked me what Armageddon was. He got upset when I told him I didn’t know.

I thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world, is it?”

Norwegian Navy

The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships.

So they can scan da navy in.

Big Red Mark

My son asked me to take him to the hospital because he had a big red mark on his face.

I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

Brake Fluid

I’ve got a friend who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop any time.

English Language

The English language is pretty strange and confusing.

It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

Cheap Skate

This guy offered me a go on his ice rink for $1.

I thought “What a cheap skate.”

Lost Luggage

I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

Money In The Bank

I’m addicted to having money in the bank.

I really do suffer from withdrawals.

Restaurant Manager

I got sacked from my job as restaurant manager today after one of my staff lost three fingers in an electric food mixer.

Apparently I failed to do a proper whisk assessment.

Assistant Manager

I’ve just landed a job as an assistant typist, helping with the capital letters.

It’s shift work.

Chest Hair

My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.

I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.

Alphabet Soup

You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for…

Times new ramen!

Something Cuban

I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.

Clothes, but no cigar.

Blank Screen

My sister turned off the TV on me whilst I was watching it today.

After a few moments of staring at the blank screen, I thought to myself, “That’s not on.”

6 Cans Of Sprite

I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite.

I ended up picking 7 Up.

Angry Girlfriend

My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine.

So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she’s sangria then ever.

Solar Eclipse

I tried using a colander to view the solar eclipse yesterday.

I think I’ve strained my eyes.

Full Dictaphone

I have a nagging, paranoid feeling that my dictaphone is close to full capacity.

Maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Learning Braille

I asked my Dad what it was like learning Braille, but he didn’t want to tell me.

I didn’t realize it was such a touchy subject.

History Of Palindromes

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

Now we call him Dr Awkward.

Tree Planting

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting.

To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

Hypnotist

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I’m easily lead.

Time Machine

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.

They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

At The Bus Stop

A guy is walking down the street one day when he spots a man with no arms or legs waiting at a bus stop.

He shouts out to him, “Hey buddy, how are you getting on?”

Crashing App

WhatsApp keeps crashing on my phone and won’t run properly so I’ve downloaded something called “The Bugs Bunny” to fix it.

It’s a WhatsApp Doc.

David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff calls his agent and demands, “I want everyone to call me Hoff from now on.”

The agent replies, “Sure, no hassle.”

4D Printer

How do you turn a 3D printer into a 4D printer?

Just give it time.

Star Wars Sweets

I’m really disappointed with the new Haribo Star Wars sweets collection.

They’re all chewy.

Half Indian

I’ve got a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

Store Robbery

I was at the Apple store today when it got robbed.

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed this collection of clever wordplay jokes, be sure to check out the rest of the LaffGaff website for lots more funny jokes, including these:

Wordplay jokes are often derided as «lowest form of wit.» But they’re also the favorite form of humor for luminaries like Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Oscar Wilde, and even Shakespeare. How can an «art» form so groan-worthy be beloved by some many great brains? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke’s meaning. Reading a wordplay joke — even a really, really dumb one — is like exercise for your brain.

Here are 40 of our favorite wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it’ll take your entire brain to make sense of them, so maybe show these jokes a little respect. For more bad jokes (that are actually really great), check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.

Sheep in Vineyard Wordplay Jokes

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He’d herd it through the grapevine!

For more kid-approved jokes, check out these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.

Wildfire Wordplay Jokes

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I got 48,500 matches!

For more on matches (of the internet variety, that is), check out these 15 Things You Don’t Know about Google.

Cat Wordplay Jokes

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A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!

And to find out if you’re feline fine or not, This is Why You’re a Dog or Cat Person.

Scarecrow Wordplay Jokes

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Because he was outstanding in his field!

And for more sidesplitting humor, read up the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.

Boy Sleeping in Class Wordplay Jokes

Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!

And for more child-borne hooey, 40 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For.

Playing Cards Wordplay Jokes

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Buy a deck of cards!

And for more laughs, check out The 50 Most Amazing Jokes From Comedy Legends.

Leftovers at Party Wordplay Jokes

But my plans were foiled!

And for more groaners, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs.

Unemployed Woman Wordplay Jokes

They’re just not working!

Man with Watch Wordplay Jokes

A waist of time!

For wrist wear that isn’t a waste, though, peek these 7 Must-Have New Vintage-Inspired Watches.

Toilet with lid up

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So I can tell people, «I visit the Jim several times a day!»

Teacher Wordplay Games

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One says, «Spit out your gum,» and the other says, «Choo choo choo!»

And for more hilarity, don’t miss the 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.

Coins in Jar Wordplay Jokes

So why does every bank have so many branches?

Couple Fighting Wordplay Jokes

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But her aim is steadily improving!

For more matrimonial humor, check out The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage.

Woman Picking Out Fruit at Grocery Store Wordplay Jokes

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But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!

Grapes Wordplay Jokes

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Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!

For more reasons to love wine, check out these 80 Amazing Health Benefits of Wine.

Girl Gardening Wordplay Jokes

The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!

Horse

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The bartender says, «Why the long face?»

Butterfly Wordplay Jokes

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You’ll see a butterfly!

Computer Wordplay Jokes

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Microchips!

And for actually helpful computer advice, check out The Best Computer Desktop Backgrounds for Maximizing Your Productivity.

Lamp Wordplay Jokes

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I couldn’t be more delighted!

Broken Left Arm Wordplay Jokes

He’s all right now!

Color Blindness Wordplay Jokes

It came out of the green!

Pig Wordplay Jokes

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Because everyone thought he was a boar!

Next, check out The 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny.

man with headache Smartest Men Get Ahead

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They all said, ouch!

Couple in Front of Fireplace Wordplay Jokes

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Now I sleep like a log!

To sleep like a log in real life, check out these 70 Tips For Your Best Sleep Ever.

Police officer on a bike

You’re under a vest!

Bank Teller Wordplay Jokes

But then I lost interest!

And for more laughs, read The Funniest Joke About Every U.S. State.

Dog Eating Coins Wordplay Jokes

EsHanPhot / Shutterstock

He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!

And for some seriously silly pet pampering advice, Here’s Why You Should Talk to Your Dog Like It’s a Baby.

Cat Scratching Wordplay Jokes

So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!

Woman Eating Steak Wordplay Jokes

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I think that’s a big missed steak!

Teddy Bears Wordplay Jokes

Because they’re always stuffed!

Jumper Cables Wordplay Jokes

«You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!»

Earth Wordplay Jokes

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It would totally make my day!

Winking Dog Wordplay Jokes

Ruff!

Judge's Mallet Wordplay Jokes

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They will be sentenced next Friday!

Road Warning Sign Wordplay Jokes

But when I got home, all the signs were there!

And for more silly signs, read the 30 Funniest Jokes On Road Warning Signs.

Envelope Wordplay Jokes

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An envelope!

Student and Professor Wordplay Jokes

The student answered, «Who, me?»

Cheese Wordplay Jokes

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Just to shoot the Bries!

Man Reading Book Wordplay Jokes

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It was Abridged Too Far!

Want more painfully corny jokes? Check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!

English Word Jokes With Explanations: A Humorous Approach to Language Learning

7 min

Created: March 21st, 2023Last updated: April 12th, 2023

play on words jokes

Contents

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye, matey! See, this is one of our favorite wordplay jokes in English. And we will tell you much more than just this one since we believe the language-studying process shouldn’t be boring. 

Non-native speakers often limit themselves to humor for fear of saying something wrong. But the point is that jokes are a great way to boost your language level and self-confidence. This article provides tips and types of tricky humor in English to make the most out of it. So, please, make yourself comfortable and forget about tedious rules because today we are just going to have fun.

Why Play-On-Words Jokes Are A Great Way To Improve Your English

The main reason why people give up their language-learning goals is simple – they become bored. Sometimes, it is not enough to learn the rules. And in such cases, studying through funny word jokes seems like the perfect way to enhance your fluency level. Here are only a few reasons that explain the benefits of wordplay humor:

  • A fun way to expand vocabulary. Most play-on-words jokes are based on idioms, puns, and other forms of figurative language. Hence, the more gags you use in daily conversations or hear from your interlocutors, the more new words and phrases you remember. 
  • The main way to understand English humor. Do you know how many “knock-knock” jokes are out there? Well, nobody knows that, but we are confident that there are millions of them. They are one of the whales that maintain English comedy and are primarily based on word plays. Hence, learning such jokes is a key to understanding natives and their sense of humor.
  • Major confidence booster. A good joke is a great ice-breaker – you can use it to start a conversation, smooth out an awkward silence, or defuse a tense situation. And when you hear other people laughing at your jokes, your confidence goes above and beyond. 

And we will not even start with other advantages of funny play-on-words jokes, like boosting memory or enhancing comprehension and pronunciation skills. We want you to see them all by yourself. So, without further ado, let’s move on to the next topic. 

7

Types of Wordplay Jokes

Since there are many kinds of word jokes, it is essential to understand the difference between them all. Therefore, here are the most common types of wordplay jokes you can hear from native speakers:

  1. Puns. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a pun is a joke that exploits the multiple meanings of a word or phrase for humorous effect. 
  2. Spoonerisms. It is a type of wordplay where two words’ initial sounds or letters are switched to create a new phrase. 
  3. Double entendres. It is a phrase or statement with a double interpretation, often with one meaning being suggestive or inappropriate.
  4. Tom Swifty. It is a type of pun where an adverb is used to modify a quote or statement humorously. 

Now you know a bit more about variations of the wordplay jokes. And it means it’s time to finally have a good laugh and check out our favorite puns, spoonerisms, and double entendres. 

Some think understanding humor in a non-native language is the final step to fluency. And we can’t argue with that! Therefore, here are some famous gags to make you giggle and help you with your studying at the same time. 

  • Why is the six afraid of the seven? Because 7 8 9. 

If you don’t get this one, try to read it aloud. This way, you will see that the poor six is afraid because it doesn’t want to be eaten by her hungry neighbor (seven ate nine). 

  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. 

It is another excellent pun based on the two meanings of the word “dressing” (like the condiment and the process of putting on clothes). 

  • My kids like chilled grease sandwiches I make for them. 

It is an example of spoonerism – the initial letters of the words grilled cheese were switched, and instead of a tasty sandwich, poor kids got, well, a funny joke. 

  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with. 

Here is another excellent tip for making a guru and telling the best wordplay jokes. The simpler and sillier it sounds, the better the effect will be. Like this pun – it is so bad that it is actually very good. 

  • Why do the Promova tutors wear sunglasses to their lessons? Because their students are very bright. 

One more tip for you – jokes don’t have to be rude or offensive. Occasionally, they can be silly little compliments to make someone smile. Like this one – the point is in the double meaning of the word bright (literal one – bright like the sun, and the second one – bright as intelligent).

  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. 

Last but not least, a joke on our list is also based on double meanings (apparently, these are our favorites). In this case, the word dough has two meanings – literal, as a substance for making bread, and slang as a description of slang for money.

Funny Word Play Examples

Alright, we know that you want more than that. Therefore, here is another list of hilarious wordplay jokes. But this time, we didn’t add any captions or explanations – try to practice and understand the point yourself. 

  • Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
  • I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  • What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
  • I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but finding good players is hard.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

And that’s it! Congratulations, you are probably now fluent in English if you got those jokes right. And if not – don’t worry because most of them are confusing. Instead, write your favorite wordplay jokes in the comments section. You know that we are always up for a good laugh. 

Mastering Humor and Fluency with Promova

As much as English jokes might be fun for native speakers, they can confuse language learners. Hence, reaching some proficiency level to joke and understand puns and spoonerisms is essential. And if you are struggling with finding the best studying option, say no more. Here, at Promova, we know exactly what to offer you. 

But before that, what is Promova? It is an international language-learning platform available for students from all over the world. After visiting the official website, you can choose from several options to get started. 

  1. Personal and group lessons with experienced tutors. Our team of professionals is always ready to help you achieve your studying goals. You can start your 1-to-1 lessons or join a group of up to six people from different countries to have more fun. 
  2. Convenient mobile application. If you prefer studying alone, you can do so from the comfort of your bed. Just install the Promova application from the App Store or Google Play and access unique lessons suitable for your needs. 
  3. Conversation Club. What is the best way to practice wordplay jokes? Only telling them to other people. And if you don’t have English speakers in your surroundings, we invite you to our free Conversation Club! Here you can discuss exciting topics, meet new friends, and simply have fun. 

And, of course, we couldn’t forget about the Promova Blog! Here you will find dozens of thrilling articles that will help you learn valuable information, tips, popular language-learning trends, and much more. And guess what? It is also entirely free! So please, don’t waste another minute – visit the official Promova website now and find the studying plan of your dream. 

Conclusion

Okay, we got the last one for you. Why did the pregnant woman start screaming, “Isn’t, can’t, I’m” in the middle of the street? Because she was having contractions. And that’s it for today! We hope that this article helps you broaden your humor horizons because jokes are the perfect way to feel fluent and confident when speaking a foreign language. And don’t forget – studying English doesn’t have to be tedious. Together, we can make it fun.

FAQ

What are homophone jokes?

Homophone wordplay jokes are the ones created by using homophones – words that spell differently but sound the same. For example, what do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea (no e- d r). Homophone jokes are very popular among people of different ages because they can have both innocent and inappropriate contexts.

Are there any differences between puns and double entendres?

Yes, there is a difference. Even though both types of wordplay jokes are based on double meanings, they differ in context. Puns are just simple, silly gags that have no sexual undertone. Double entendres, on the other hand, also have two meanings, but one interpretation is usually risqué.

Is it always a good time to say wordplay jokes?

Unfortunately, it is not. Many people don’t like such jokes and even find them annoying. Therefore, you need to be sure you have the right audience before telling your puns. Also, there are many situations where any joke might be considered inappropriate. You need to be careful and analyze the circumstances to avoid any misunderstandings.

What are some common tips for memorizing wordplay jokes?

Some common tips for memorizing wordplay jokes include practicing them beforehand, writing them down for later reference, and using mnemonic devices to help remember them. Additionally, it’s helpful to think about the structure of the joke and how the words play off each other, which can aid in recall.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wordplay is fun.

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.

I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.

«I really need a new fucking boat,» I thought to myself.

My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, «How can I stop my addiction?»

«Whatever means necessary,» she replied.

«No it doesn’t,» I said.

Has anyone read the Indian wordplay book?

It’s written in punjabi

What does a baker says after cracking a wordplay joke?

Bun intended

There was a competition for the best wordplay joke

Hundreds of entries were sent in, but only 10 made it to the final round. However, none of them won.

No pun in ten did.

Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.

The first one says, «If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word «rod» in a phallic sense, would you find it *fishy*?»

«Oh,» says the second one, «I think I can *tackle* it.»

«So… *net-net*, you’d take the *bait*?»

«Oh-ho! *Hook, line, and sinker*!»

«I don’t

I made a list of the top 10 most popular wordplay jokes, to see if any of them actually made me laugh

No pun in ten did

My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes

I texted her «Oh Pun the door»

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tattoos and Wordplay

A man gets the words «I Love You» tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife, who tells him «stop trying to put words in my mouth.»

Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain

The Punning Of The Bulls

You’re in a wordplay contest. The topic is «water»

What is your wet pun of choice?

Did you mean to use wordplay there?

Nope unintended.

Most people don’t enjoy puns. Wordplay almost feels like an emotional knife stab to them. But at least they appreciate my humour when I get home

It just goes to show you, the only good pun is a dad pun

My friend asked me if I purposely used wordplay in my sentences.

I answered »Nope. Unintended.»

I submitted 10 wordplays to a pun contest hoping one would win best quip…

But no pun in ten did.

Badly formed wordplay is utter torture

Truly, you could say it is pun-ishment.

What do you call a wordplay that’s so good it gets told everywhere, even in foreign country’s?

a pundemic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to write a funny joke:

Now, everyone always says timing is important; we’ll get to that, the timing is usually in the punchline.

First you need a premise — it can be simple. A ball. That’s the focus.

Some of you are already chuckling because your immature sense of humor has made its own connections with the

What do you call a battle of wordplay?

Pun-fu fighting

Why did the Chinese couple take their newborn back to the hospital?

He was Caucasian, and they knew two Wongs don’t make a white.

.

.

.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone racism in any way, form or fashion. It’s just wordplay, folks. Apologies to anyone too sensitive for my humor.

What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres?

PUNisher

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do all black people have a problem with slavery?

Or just mine?

Edit: wow, front page of reddit! For those commenting on the distasteful nature of these joke, remind yourself.. It’s a joke. The joke is based on wordplay, quick delivery, and is in no way designed to be racist. Slavery was never something to laugh about.

Edit 2: Holy g

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took this art class and the teacher said, “draw anything.”

So, of course, your boy likes wordplay, so I decided to draw water.

I call the teacher over to look at my artwork that I finished and she said, “You didn’t draw anything.”

I said “Yes I did.”

She said, “No you didn’t.”

I said “Um… last time I checked, water was clear, s

In a bar, there’s a guy hitting on a cute Banker girl

The guy brags about all his riches and possessions, but he got shot down by the girl immediately.

The girl said, «Leave me a loan!»

The guy noticed the wordplay, he praised the girl. «That’s a pretty clever pun! …But not as pretty as you»

The girl, now irritated, said. «I’m no

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there’s really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I’ve gotta ask….

How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.

Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.

Dad Jokes

Dad jokes aren’t an affliction that happens to dads, they’re a way of life. No one should ever be ashamed of #dadjokes. Instead, if you are a father, you should be worried if you don’t know enough good dad jokes.

You know that old saying, “Where there’s a will there’s a way?” That’s a pretty

You should kill me for this but…

Did you see the engraving under the mineral sculpture of the famous punner’s head? It said, «Wordplay Ore Bust»

The trouble with translating jokes is…

Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!

(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)

Yesterday my girlfriend asked me if i had any fetishes

I told her I’m into wordplay.

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.

This is the place for wordplay, right?

Never make puns during a Scrabble match.

Your opponent may not like your wordplay.

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Laughing is the greatest therapy. With that in mind, check out the top 101 word play jokes.

101. What cheese would you use to lure a bear out of a cave? Camembert.

100. Have you ever tried sex while camping? It’s in tents.

99. Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a
sheep in a vineyard? He’d herd it through the grapevine!

98. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? There’s no
point.

97. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It
just lets out a little wine!

96. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily
improving.

95. Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet
“the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first
thing every morning.

94. This gravity joke is getting a bit old, but I fall for
it every time.

93. Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.
They’re just not working!

92. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of
cards.

91. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A Juan
on Juan.

90. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!

#89 – 80. Word Play Jokes

89. I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in
our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!

88. My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate the use of
trapdoors in his shows. But I think it’s just a stage he’s going through.

87. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because
they’re always stuffed!

86. Why are barns so noisy? Because all the cows have horns.

85. Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be
a pop star.

84. A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the
end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un,
dos…” Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.

83. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up
literally everything.

82. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big
missed steak!

81. Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets
turned on.

80. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.

#79 – 70. Word Play Jokes

79. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.

78. Apparently taking a day off is not something you should
do when you work for a calendar company.

77. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!

76. How do trees get online? They log in.

75. A patient sobs to his doctor: “I feel like a pair of
curtains!” – Doctor: “Well pull yourself together man!”

74. I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched
it. So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!

73. I Googled “how to start a wildfire”. I got
48,500 matches.

72. Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? –
Answer: Ireland’s. – Every year it’s Dublin.

71. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they
cantaloupe.

70. I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card. She’s not ill or anything, but she could definitely get better.

#69 – 60. Word Play Jokes

69. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from
his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there!

68. What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the
closet? “Supplies!”

67. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he
was outstanding in his field.

66. Daughter: Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas,
please?“   Mom: No honey, you will be
getting turkey, like every Christmas!“

65. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a
great fall.

64. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and
bigger…And then it hit me.

63. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with
jumper cables around his neck? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start
anything.”

62. Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and
leg? He’s all right now!

61. How do fish get high? Seaweed.

60. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party. But my plans were foiled!

#59 – 50. Word Play Jokes

59. A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in
his stomach. His condition is now stable.

58. Never date cross eyed people. They might be seeing
somebody on the side!

57. If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day
was well-spent?

56. Why was the chef arrested? – He was beating eggs every
day.

55. I got very lonely lately, so I bought some shares. –
It’s much nicer having some company.

54. I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.” So I can
tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”

53. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he
was outstanding in his field!

52. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every
bank have so many branches?

51. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert. Because
they’re always stuffed.

50. People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.” I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”

#49 – 40. Word Play Jokes

49. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex
sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a
pause at the end of its clause!

48. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch
attached to it? A waist of time.

47. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

46. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex
sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a
pause at the end of its clause.

45. Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more
delighted!

44. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter
in it? An envelope!

43. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.

42. 37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma
went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday!

41. What do computers snack on? Microchips.

40. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time!

#39 – 30. Word Play Jokes

39. Three guys walk into a bar. They all said, ouch!

38. What’s the tallest building in the world? The library,
cause it has the most stories.

37. How come oysters never donate to charity? Because
they’re shellfish.

36. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from
his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

35. If April showers bring May flowers, what comes next in
June? Pilgrims.

34. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of
cards!

33. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone
thought he was a boar.

32. Two underpants meet for a beer. – “Why are you so
brown?” asks one. – “Don’t ask. It was a really crappy week.”

31. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank
goodness it was a soft drink.

30. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

#29 – 20. Word Play Jokes

29. What’s so great about being a hitman? They all kill it.

28. A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I
believe I’m a deck of cards!” The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in
the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”

27. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the
long face?”

26. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily
improving!

25. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every
bank have so many branches?

24. I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig. The poem may
not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!

23. Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese
shop. Just to shoot the Bries!

22. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too young to smoke.

21. An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.
The student answered, “Who, me?”

20. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar!

#19 – 10. Word Play Jokes

19. I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came
out of the green!

18. I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally
make my day!

17. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up.

16. When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just
chuck some butter from your window. You’ll see a butterfly!

15. What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
Wipes his ass.

14. Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross. But
those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!

13. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It
just lets out a little wine.

12. I went to the bank the other day and asked the teller to
check my balance. The bitch pushed me, but I couldn’t really blame her.

11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention
in school!

10. I once worked in a bank…But then I lost interest!

#9 – 1. Word Play Jokes

9. Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm
and left leg? He’s all right now.

8. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State
Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

7. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I
guess my plans were foiled.

6. What car does Jesus drive? A Christler.

5. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with
jumper cables? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”

4. My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church.

3. What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of
sandpaper? Ruff!

2. I read a book about World War II that was only four pages
long. It was Abridged Too Far!

1.What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One
says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

Ideas for the top 101 word play jokes were taken from the following sources. [1]short funny – Best Puns[2]Thought Catalog – 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud[3]Best Life – 40 Dumb Wordplay Joke That Will Crack You Up[4]Laugh Factory – WORD PLAY JOKES[5]NeoGAF – Word play jokes – let’s tell some!

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