Is hate a bad word

—Frustrated Neighborhood Mom

Dear Frustrated Neighborhood Mom,

My eyes are rolling! Ugh, I’m sorry. If this happened to me, I would need to take a second. At the party, I might have pulled her aside (because I’m the confrontational type). Then after, I’d call my mom friends and ask if this was normal behavior for another mom, in which they would respond: no. And then most likely, I would have laughed. Because let’s face it: that scene was a little ridiculous. First of all, birthday parties are supposed to be fun, full of all the sweet stuff we don’t get in our everyday lives. They are not the place to teach a lesson. Second—us moms are on the same team. Sure, we should alert another parent if their child is mistreating our own kids. But should we confront another parent over a child’s word choice at a party? In this case, offer the kid a cupcake with chocolate frosting instead and move along.

However, now that my laughter has subsided, this situation does bring up an important question: is hate a bad word?

But before we talk about the question at hand, I think we should agree on the fact that kids are kids. Remember that late 90s show, Kids Say the Darndest Things? It’s getting a reboot in October for a reason. Kids say whatever they want. And not always just the darndest things. Children copy us, their friends, the people around them. For instance, my son is always telling people «I don’t like cheese.» I am not sure this is true for him, but it is true for me. I laugh when he says this because I know he picked it up from me when he hears me order at restaurants that I’ll take the Caesar salad, no cheese.

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Hate is a complicated word and it makes me pay attention to the person who is saying it. We both know this word carries some serious weight. But sometimes we use it without thinking. We may say that we hate our boss, our car that’s always breaking down, or in this case, vanilla icing. It is true that we feel intense loathing for things in life that don’t serve us. This is a normal. However, perhaps, more accurate language is best used to describe ill feelings. Maybe we can replace hate with «I dislike my boss,» or «I can’t stand it when my car breaks down,» or «I don’t enjoy vanilla icing.»

But you know this. We all do.

These phrases don’t take much longer to say, but I do believe these types of expressions are more inclusive and kind in their language. And I do think your son was telling his version of the truth: he doesn’t like vanilla icing. He’s 5.

I don’t think your son meant any harm when he said this word, Frustrated Neighborhood Mom. It is nothing to worry about, nothing to confess to the Bad Moms Club. But, I do think it is an opportunity to have a conversation (after the birthday party…and maybe not seek out the mom who spelled out the word for Wine Night). Hate is not a bad word, it’s a strong word. And should be reserved and saved for intense circumstances. Because my thought is: what if the object of hate is replaced? What if, instead, someone says they hate «Ava,» a young girl, in a child’s class. And all Ava did was accidentally spill her milk on another child’s shoes?

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I think you see what I mean. Sometimes language is all we have.

We live in a time where it is important, perhaps more than ever—where words are being spread across our phones, the internet, at rapid rates—to be conscious, sensitive, and inclusive with our language. And to acknowledge, children are children. They are beautiful, growing beings. Your son did nothing wrong. He was merely expressing himself. Could he have used a different phrase? Yes. And I believe you will teach him. You had the love and audacity to show up and ask this question. I know you care, Momma. You love your son. And you will raise him to be a good man. You are paying attention. Next time he uses the word hate, when another phrase is better, teach him: Hate is not a bad word, it’s a strong word.

XO, Your Mom Friend

Courtney O’Neil is a mom, writer, scholar….and no most of all: your honest, no-nonsense internet friend. Send your questions to digitalpitches@meredith.com, and connect with Courtney on Instagram.

Hate is not a bad word, it’s a strong word. And should be reserved and saved for intense circumstances.

Why you shouldn’t use the word hate?

Hate is an intense, or passionate, dislike for someone or something. The word hate is too potent and carries too much baggage to be thoughtlessly tossed around. “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Is hate a strong word?

Hate is a powerfully strong verb, and it’s one you should probably save for those things you really detest, that you have a passionately negative feeling about.

How do you explain hate to a child?

Give your child a different way to express his anger: “When you are angry about something, you can tell me that you’re angry and I’ll help you.” Explain that there are certain phrases that hurt people’s feelings, and “I hate you” is one of those phrases. Avoid responding with equally hurtful words.

Why do kids say I hate you?

Your child saying «I hate you» is common and doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that they don’t love you. Instead, they’re simply struggling with big feelings. You can help by keeping calm and providing coaching on emotional regulation.

Why Are Bad Words Bad?

What can I say instead of hate?

Synonyms of hate

Is there a word worse than hate?

Abhor is from Latin abhorrere — «to shrink back in horror.» It is the strongest way in English to express hatred, even stronger than loathe.

What kind of word is hate?

Hate is used as a verb to mean to passionately and intensely dislike something or to dislike or be unwilling. As a noun, hate is used to mean an intense loathing. Hate has a few other meanings as a verb, noun, and adjective.

What is a weaker word than hate?

despise: To regard with contempt or scorn.

Is hate a form of anger?

Hate is an example of a distortion of both anger and fear. Anger can come and go, giving us the energy to oppose an obstacle or threat. Anger is the brain supercharged. Anger may be fuel, but hate is more like cancer.

What is the 3 form of hate?

The V3 form is “hated”.

What does God mean by hate?

When we hear that God hates something we are shocked by it, and yet, that is what the Bible clearly says (Psalm 5:4-5, etc.). The word used for «hate» in the 5th Psalm means «to have an aversion, unwilling or unable to put up with, to dislike intensely».

What is the most disliked word in English?

Whatever. According to Marist Poll Results, the word “whatever” consistently scores as the most annoying word in the English language. People of all ages and backgrounds use the word.

How do you say I hate you politely?

3—I Loathe You.

How to say I hate you in text?

Code for I hate you, 182 is used in text messages and other text communication because «I» is one character, «hate» sounds like 8, and «you» sounds like 2.

How do you say hate in Old English?

The verb is from Middle English haten, from Old English hatian (“to hate, treat as an enemy”), from Proto-West Germanic *hatēn, from Proto-Germanic *hatāną (“to hate”), from Proto-Germanic *hataz, from the same root as above.

What is the true opposite of hate?

The opposite of hate is—connection.

What does I hate you means?

Phrase. I hate you. Expression of hatred, or intense disdain or dislike directed at someone.

Which is stronger love or hate?

Love can be more powerful than hate because love can end violence, make others do lovable things, inspire creations. Also since love is a much sweeter emotion, people become more attracted to it. Love is so powerful that when you feel love towards someone, it will make you do lovable things instead of hateful things.

What is the strongest form of hate?

abhor Add to list Share. If you abhor something, it gives you a feeling of complete hatred. Chances are you abhor that kid who used to torture the frogs in biology class. Abhor is from Latin abhorrere — «to shrink back in horror.» It is the strongest way in English to express hatred, even stronger than loathe.

What is a word worse than disgusting?

loathsome, sickening, nauseous, repulsive, revolting, repugnant, abhorrent, detestable.

Why do I hate to say no?

The fear of saying no also stems from the urge to avoid conflicts, or confrontation. Another reason that why people tend to worry about saying no is because they don’t want to disappoint others, or hurt their feelings.

Is loathe worse than hate?

Loathe is a transitive verb with the meaning to be disgusted or repulsed by. Many people use it to express an emotion even stronger than hate. With simple, utter loathing!

What is the real opposite of love?

The Opposite of Love is Not Hate, It Is Indifference. Elie Wiesel, prolific writer and Holocaust survivor famously said, “the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference”.

What are cringe words?

Here are the Top 10 Words That Make People Cringe

Asked by: Dr. Nicole Herman

Score: 4.3/5
(71 votes)

Hate is a powerfully strong verb, and it’s one you should probably save for those things you really detest, that you have a passionately negative feeling about.

Is there a word stronger than hate?

There are many words stronger than ‘hate’ Check the following list : loath, detest, disgust. abhor, abominate, despise. execrable, repulsive, nauseous, sickening, despicable. revulsion, odious, obnoxious, detestable, obscene, hideous.

Is hate a good word?

Hate is not a bad word, it’s a strong word. And should be reserved and saved for intense circumstances.

Who said hate is a strong word?

Hate Is a Strong Word by Cortney Lamar Charleston | Poetry Magazine.

Is the word hate overused?

Hate ranks as the most overused and abused word in American life. … It’s easy to understand why many Americans frequently raise the phony accusation of hate. This accusation serves as a quick, effective way to avoid listening and learning.

23 related questions found