All strong writers have something in common: they understand the value of word choice in writing. Strong word choice uses vocabulary and language to maximum effect, creating clear moods and images and making your stories and poems more powerful and vivid.
The meaning of “word choice” may seem self-explanatory, but to truly transform your style and writing, we need to dissect the elements of choosing the right word. This article will explore what word choice is, and offer some examples of effective word choice, before giving you 5 word choice exercises to try for yourself.
Word Choice Definition: The Four Elements of Word Choice
The definition of word choice extends far beyond the simplicity of “choosing the right words.” Choosing the right word takes into consideration many different factors, and finding the word that packs the most punch requires both a great vocabulary and a great understanding of the nuances in English.
Choosing the right word involves the following four considerations, with word choice examples.
1. Meaning
Words can be chosen for one of two meanings: the denotative meaning or the connotative meaning. Denotation refers to the word’s basic, literal dictionary definition and usage. By contrast, connotation refers to how the word is being used in its given context: which of that word’s many uses, associations, and connections are being employed.
A word’s denotative meaning is its literal dictionary definition, while its connotative meaning is the web of uses and associations it carries in context.
We play with denotations and connotations all the time in colloquial English. As a simple example, when someone says “greaaaaaat” sarcastically, we know that what they’re referring to isn’t “great” at all. In context, the word “great” connotes its opposite: something so bad that calling it “great” is intentionally ridiculous. When we use words connotatively, we’re letting context drive the meaning of the sentence.
The rich web of connotations in language are crucial to all writing, and perhaps especially so to poetry, as in the following lines from Derek Walcott’s Nobel-prize-winning epic poem Omeros:
In hill-towns, from San Fernando to Mayagüez,
the same sunrise stirred the feathered lances of cane
down the archipelago’s highways. The first breeze
rattled the spears and their noise was like distant rain
marching down from the hills, like a shell at your ears.
Sugar cane isn’t, literally, made of “feathered lances,” which would literally denote “long metal spears adorned with bird feathers”; but feathered connotes “branching out,” the way sugar cane does, and lances connotes something tall, straight, and pointy, as sugar cane is. Together, those two words create a powerfully true visual image of sugar cane—in addition to establishing the martial language (“spears,” “marching”) used elsewhere in the passage.
Whether in poetry or prose, strong word choice can unlock images, emotions, and more in the reader, and the associations and connotations that words bring with them play a crucial role in this.
2. Specificity
Use words that are both correct in meaning and specific in description.
In the sprawling English language, one word can have dozens of synonyms. That’s why it’s important to use words that are both correct in meaning and specific in description. Words like “good,” “average,” and “awful” are far less descriptive and specific than words like “liberating” (not just good but good and freeing), “C student” (not just average but academically average), and “despicable” (not just awful but morally awful). These latter words pack more meaning than their blander counterparts.
Since more precise words give the reader added context, specificity also opens the door for more poetic opportunities. Take the short poem “[You Fit Into Me]” by Margaret Atwood.
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
A fish hook
An open eye
The first stanza feels almost romantic until we read the second stanza. By clarifying her language, Atwood creates a simple yet highly emotive duality.
This is also why writers like Stephen King advocate against the use of adverbs (adjectives that modify verbs or other adjectives, like “very”). If your language is precise, you don’t need adverbs to modify the verbs or adjectives, as those words are already doing enough work. Consider the following comparison:
Weak description with adverbs: He cooks quite badly; the food is almost always extremely overdone.
Strong description, no adverbs: He incinerates food.
Of course, non-specific words are sometimes the best word, too! These words are often colloquially used, so they’re great for writing description, writing through a first-person narrative, or for transitional passages of prose.
3. Audience
Good word choice takes the reader into consideration. You probably wouldn’t use words like “lugubrious” or “luculent” in a young adult novel, nor would you use words like “silly” or “wonky” in a legal document.
This is another way of saying that word choice conveys not only direct meaning, but also a web of associations and feelings that contribute to building the reader’s world. What world does the word “wonky” help build for your reader, and what world does the word “seditious” help build? Depending on the overall environment you’re working to create for the reader, either word could be perfect—or way out of place.
4. Style
Consider your word choice to be the fingerprint of your writing.
Consider your word choice to be the fingerprint of your writing. Every writer uses words differently, and as those words come to form poems, stories, and books, your unique grasp on the English language will be recognizable by all your readers.
Style isn’t something you can point to, but rather a way of describing how a writer writes. Ernest Hemingway, for example, is known for his terse, no-nonsense, to-the-point styles of description. Virginia Woolf, by contrast, is known for writing that’s poetic, intense, and melodramatic, and James Joyce for his lofty, superfluous writing style.
Here’s a paragraph from Joyce:
Had Pyrrhus not fallen by a beldam’s hand in Argos or Julius Caesar not been knifed to death. They are not to be thought away. Time has branded them and fettered they are lodged in the room of the infinite possibilities they have ousted.
And here’s one from Hemingway:
Bill had gone into the bar. He was standing talking with Brett, who was sitting on a high stool, her legs crossed. She had no stockings on.
Style is best observed and developed through a portfolio of writing. As you write more and form an identity as a writer, the bits of style in your writing will form constellations.
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Word Choice in Writing: The Importance of Verbs
Before we offer some word choice exercises to expand your writing horizons, we first want to mention the importance of verbs. Verbs, as you may recall, are the “action” of the sentence—they describe what the subject of the sentence actually does. Unless you are intentionally breaking grammar rules, all sentences must have a verb, otherwise they don’t communicate much to the reader.
Because verbs are the most important part of the sentence, they are something you must focus on when expanding the reaches of your word choice. Verbs are the most widely variegated units of language; the more “things” you can do in the world, the more verbs there are to describe them, making them great vehicles for both figurative language and vivid description.
Consider the following three sentences:
- The road runs through the hills.
- The road curves through the hills.
- The road meanders through the hills.
Which sentence is the most descriptive? Though each of them has the same subject, object, and number of words, the third sentence creates the clearest image. The reader can visualize a road curving left and right through a hilly terrain, whereas the first two sentences require more thought to see clearly.
Finally, this resource on verb usage does a great job at highlighting how to invent and expand your verb choice.
Word Choice in Writing: Economy and Concision
Strong word choice means that every word you write packs a punch. As we’ve seen with adverbs above, you may find that your writing becomes more concise and economical—delivering more impact per word. Above all, you may find that you omit needless words.
Omit needless words is, in fact, a general order issued by Strunk and White in their classic Elements of Style. As they explain it:
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.
It’s worth repeating that this doesn’t mean your writing becomes clipped or terse, but simply that “every word tell.” As our word choice improves—as we omit needless words and express ourselves more precisely—our writing becomes richer, whether we write in long or short sentences.
As an example, here’s the opening sentence of a random personal essay from a high school test preparation handbook:
The world is filled with a numerous amount of student athletes that could somewhere down the road have a bright future.
Most words in this sentence are needless. It could be edited down to:
Many student athletes could have a bright future.
Now let’s take some famous lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Can you remove a single word without sacrificing an enormous richness of meaning?
Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
In strong writing, every single word is chosen for maximum impact. This is the true meaning of concise or economical writing.
5 Word Choice Exercises to Sharpen Your Writing
With our word choice definition in mind, as well as our discussions of verb use and concision, let’s explore the following exercises to put theory into practice. As you play around with words in the following word choice exercises, be sure to consider meaning, specificity, style, and (if applicable) audience.
1. Build Moods With Word Choice
Writers fine-tune their words because the right vocabulary will build lush, emotive worlds. As you expand your word choice and consider the weight of each word, focus on targeting precise emotions in your descriptions and figurative language.
This kind of point is best illustrated through word choice examples. An example of magnificent language is the poem “In Defense of Small Towns” by Oliver de la Paz. The poem’s ambivalent feelings toward small hometowns presents itself through the mood of the writing.
The poem is filled with tense descriptions, like “animal deaths and toughened hay” and “breeches speared with oil and diesel,” which present the small town as stoic and masculine. This, reinforced by the terse stanzas and the rare “chances for forgiveness,” offers us a bleak view of the town; yet it’s still a town where everything is important, from “the outline of every leaf” to the weightless flight of cattail seeds.
The writing’s terse, heavy mood exists because of the poem’s juxtaposition of masculine and feminine words. The challenge of building a mood produces this poem’s gravity and sincerity.
Try to write a poem, or even a sentence, that evokes a particular mood through words that bring that word to mind. Here’s an example:
- What mood do you want to evoke? flighty
- What words feel like they evoke that mood? not sure, whatever, maybe, perhaps, tomorrow, sometimes, sigh
- Try it in a sentence: “Maybe tomorrow we could see about looking at the lab results.” She sighed. “Perhaps.”
2. Invent New Words and Terms
A common question writers ask is, What is one way to revise for word choice? One trick to try is to make up new language in your revisions.
If you create language at a crucial moment, you might be able to highlight something that our current language can’t.
In the same way that unusual verbs highlight the action and style of your story, inventing words that don’t exist can also create powerful diction. Of course, your writing shouldn’t overflow with made-up words and pretentious portmanteaus, but if you create language at a crucial moment, you might be able to highlight something that our current language can’t.
A great example of an invented word is the phrase “wine-dark sea.” Understanding this invention requires a bit of history; in short, Homer describes the sea as “οἶνοψ πόντος”, or “wine-faced.” “Wine-dark,” then, is a poetic translation, a kind of kenning for the sea’s mystery.
Why “wine-dark” specifically? Perhaps because, like the sea, wine changes us; maybe the eyes of the sea are dark, as eyes often darken with wine; perhaps the sea is like a face, an inversion, a reflection of the self. In its endlessness, we see what we normally cannot.
Thus, “wine-dark” is a poetic combination of words that leads to intensive literary analysis. For a less historical example, I’m currently working on my poetry thesis, with pop culture monsters being the central theme of the poems. In one poem, I describe love as being “frankensteined.” By using this monstrous made-up verb in place of “stitched,” the poem’s attitude toward love is much clearer.
Try inventing a word or phrase whose meaning will be as clear to the reader as “wine-dark sea.” Here’s an example:
- What do you want to describe? feeling sorry for yourself because you’ve been stressed out for a long time
- What are some words that this feeling brings up? self-pity, sympathy, sadness, stress, compassion, busyness, love, anxiety, pity party, feeling sorry for yourself
- What are some fun ways to combine these words? sadxiety, stresslove
- Try it in a sentence: As all-nighter wore on, my anxiety softened into sadxiety: still edgy, but soft in the middle.
3. Only Use Words of Certain Etymologies
One of the reasons that the English language is so large and inconsistent is that it borrows words from every language. When you dig back into the history of loanwords, the English language is incredibly interesting!
(For example, many of our legal terms, such as judge, jury, and plaintiff, come from French. When the Normans [old French-speakers from Northern France] conquered England, their language became the language of power and nobility, so we retained many of our legal terms from when the French ruled the British Isles.)
Nerdy linguistics aside, etymologies also make for a fun word choice exercise. Try forcing yourself to write a poem or a story only using words of certain etymologies and avoiding others. For example, if you’re only allowed to use nouns and verbs that we borrowed from the French, then you can’t use Anglo-Saxon nouns like “cow,” “swine,” or “chicken,” but you can use French loanwords like “beef,” “pork,” and “poultry.”
Experiment with word etymologies and see how they affect the mood of your writing. You might find this to be an impactful facet of your word choice. You can Google “__ etymology” for any word to see its origin, and “__ synonym” to see synonyms.
Try writing a sentence only with roots from a single origin. (You can ignore common words like “the,” “a,” “of,” and so on.)
- What do you want to write? The apple rolled off the table.
- Try a first etymology: German: The apple wobbled off the bench.
- Try a second: Latin: The russet fruit rolled off the table.
4. Write in E-Prime
E-Prime Writing describes a writing style where you only write using the active voice. By eschewing all forms of the verb “to be”—using words such as “is,” “am,” “are,” “was,” and other “being” verbs—your writing should feel more clear, active, and precise!
E-Prime not only removes the passive voice (“The bottle was picked up by James”), but it gets at the reality that many sentences using to be are weakly constructed, even if they’re technically in the active voice.
Of course, E-Prime writing isn’t the best type of writing for every project. The above paragraph is written in E-Prime, but stretching it out across this entire article would be tricky. The intent of E-Prime writing is to make all of your subjects active and to make your verbs more impactful. While this is a fun word choice exercise and a great way to create memorable language, it probably isn’t sustainable for a long writing project.
Try writing a paragraph in E-Prime:
- What do you want to write? Of course, E-Prime writing isn’t the best type of writing for every project. The above paragraph is written in E-Prime, but stretching it out across this entire article would be tricky. The intent of E-Prime writing is to make all of your subjects active and to make your verbs more impactful. While this is a fun word choice exercise and a great way to create memorable language, it probably isn’t sustainable for a long writing project.
- Converted to E-Prime: Of course, E-Prime writing won’t best suit every project. The above paragraph uses E-Prime, but stretching it out across this entire article would carry challenges. E-Prime writing endeavors to make all of your subjects active, and your verbs more impactful. While this word choice exercise can bring enjoyment and create memorable language, you probably can’t sustain it over a long writing project.
5. Write Blackout Poetry
Blackout poetry, also known as Found Poetry, is a visual creative writing project. You take a page from a published source and create a poem by blacking out other words until your circled words create a new poem. The challenge is that you’re limited to the words on a page, so you need a charged use of both space and language to make a compelling blackout poem.
Blackout poetry bottoms out our list of great word choice exercises because it forces you to consider the elements of word choice. With blackout poems, certain words might be read connotatively rather than denotatively, or you might change the meaning and specificity of a word by using other words nearby. Language is at its most fluid and interpretive in blackout poems!
For a great word choice example using blackout poetry, read “The Author Writes the First Draft of His Wedding Vows” by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib. Here it is visually:
Source: https://decreation.tumblr.com/post/620222983530807296/from-the-crown-aint-worth-much-by-hanif
Pick a favorite poem of your own and make something completely new out of it using blackout poetry.
How to Expand Your Vocabulary
Vocabulary is a last topic in word choice. The more words in your arsenal, the better. Great word choice doesn’t rely on a large vocabulary, but knowing more words will always help! So, how do you expand your vocabulary?
The simplest way to expand your vocabulary is by reading.
The simplest answer, and the one you’ll hear the most often, is by reading. The more literature you consume, the more examples you’ll see of great words using the four elements of word choice.
Of course, there are also some great programs for expanding your vocabulary as well. If you’re looking to use words like “lachrymose” in a sentence, take a look at the following vocab builders:
- Dictionary.com’s Word-of-the-Day
- Vocabulary.com Games
- Merriam Webster’s Vocab Quizzes
Improve Your Word Choice With Writers.com’s Online Writing Courses
Looking for more writing exercises? Need more help choosing the right words? The instructors at Writers.com are masters of the craft. Take a look at our upcoming course offerings and join our community!
G ood word choice is about precision and personality; the words you choose help define your voice.
How word choice shapes your voice
Writers all experience the same frustrations.
You’ve buckled down to write your content. You’re proud of your ideas.
But when you read your draft … it kind of sucks. A spark is missing. The content sounds blah. It doesn’t sound like you at all.
Makes you want to cry?
Cultivating an engaging voice may feel like an arduous, perhaps even painful journey.
But when you nurture a sense of play, that excruciating journey turns into a fun adventure.
While experimenting with words, you’ll find your voice. And when you’ve found your voice, your content stands out in a drab sea of grey words. Fierce. And proud.
Want to know how to have fun with words and find your voice?
Why word choice can feel tricky
Most of us tend to choose safe words—the words popping in our mind first. These are the words everyone is using.
Everyday language is a good idea, because readers can quickly grasp your ideas. But when you use only everyday language, your content doesn’t stand out. You sound like everyone else. Your content lacks sparkle.
Writing is different from talking. When we speak we use hand gestures and facial expressions to add emotion and meaning to our words. But when we write, we can’t wink, we can’t smile, we can’t slam the table, and we can’t put our hands up in the air.
So, our written words have to work harder. Our words have to whisper or shout. Our words have to attract attention and engage. Our words have to express emotion.
This is why you need to infuse your writing with more emotional words, with colorful language, with a sensory touch. You need to push yourself gently outside your comfort zone and play with different words.
Examples of word choice
Have you ever studied how others choose their words?
And have you noticed how their words give you an impression of their personality?
Below follow snippets from a sales page for a fitness book of DragonDoor. What type of personality comes across?
- How to construct a barn door back—and walk with loaded guns
- How to take a trip to hell—and steal a Satanic six-pack
- How to guarantee steel rod fingers
- Time to deliver the final bullet to those aching muscles: the Crucifix pull—brilliant and very painful!
The DragonDoor copy uses strong sensory and emotional words like “loaded guns,” “bullet,” “trip to hell,” “Satanic,” and “steel rod.”
Now, let’s compare this to a sales page for a yoga teaching class of Balance Yoga and Wellness. Try to imagine the type of teacher who’s written this:
- Heart-centered yoga: Learn the foundations of Anusara yoga, including the loops and spirals, universal principles and more.
- Balance your body and mind: Learn and apply ayurvedic principles to your diet and lifestyle so you get healthier and happier. Improve your sleep and digestion so your energy invigorates your students and others around you.
- Spark your creativity: Make your own mala bracelets, eye pillows, clay models, and yantras. Tapping into your creative center will help to infuse a sense of playfulness into your teaching.
This copy uses softer and more positive words like “invigorate,” “heart-centered,” “spark,” “balance,” “healthier,” “happier,” and “tap into.”
Choosing your words isn’t just about being precise and concise. The words you choose also give an impression of your personality; they define your voice.
How do you want to come across? How do you want to interact with your audience?
How word choice shapes your voice
Below follow four questions to consider when considering how words shape your voice.
1. Do you use jargon or everyday language?
Whether you want to use jargon or not mainly depends on the experience of your readers. Do they understand your technical terms?
DragonDoor uses some technical language like “pecs,” “hanging straight leg raises,” “stand-to-stand bridges,” and “progressive calisthenics.” For instance:
Why mastery of progressive calisthenics is the ultimate secret for building maximum raw strength
Balance Yoga and Wellness also assumes you know basic yoga terms:
Open the doors to yoga philosophy, including Tantra, Samkhya, Hatha Yoga and key texts
When considering your word choice, consider your audience. Which words would they use? Do they understand technical language and jargon? Also, consider whether your audience would appreciate slang or not.
2. Do you appeal to negative or positive emotions?
Positive or negative word choice has a big impact on how readers perceive your voice and your personality.
DragonDoor, for instance, addresses readers’ fears of doing things wrong or acting like a “baby-weight pumper” or “wannabee.” They might make you feel insecure:
- Do you make this stupid mistake with your push ups? This is wrong, wrong, wrong!
- This little fella will really separate the iron men from the baby-weight pumpers!
- These Gecko pushups truly separate the wannabees from the real thing
- Obey these important caveats before you start bridging—or risk injury
- The dumb, fickle, want-it-yesterday way to fail in your long term Convict Conditioning training
Balance Yoga and Wellness uses a positive tone of encouragement instead:
You may think that you aren’t cut out to teach yoga. Or that you aren’t advanced enough. But this is far from the truth. During our course you develop your own yoga practice. You build skills and grow in self-confidence.
Do you want to agitate and stir up fear? Or comfort, encourage, and soothe? How positive do you want to sound?
3. Do you use strong or subtle sensory words?
DragonDoor uses strong language, borrowing terminology from prisons and war:
- One crucial reason why a lot of convicts deliberately avoid weight-training
- Bar pulls—an old convict favorite for good reason
- How to effectively bulletproof the vulnerable rotator cuff muscles
- Transform skinny legs into pillars of power, complete with steel cord quads, rock-hard glutes and thick, shapely calves
The copy of Balance Yoga and Wellness strikes a warmer tone:
Do you nurture an intense love for yoga?
Are you astonished how much your life has improved since you stepped into your first yoga class?
You gained strength, flexibility and fitness. You tapped into a deep calmness, and experienced a new sense of peace and inner beauty.
Now, what’s next?
(…) Our Teacher Training helps you nourish a deeper understanding of yoga, delve into human anatomy, and gain the confidence to share the magic of yoga with your friends and family and community.
How do you spice up your content? With fight analogies? Or cooking metaphors? With hints of seduction? Or warmongering?
4. How much curiosity do you arouse?
DragonDoor arouses curiosity with phrases like “little-known ways,” “a dormant superpower,” and a “jealously-guarded system:”
- The dormant superpower for muscle growth waiting to be released if you only do this
- Try this little-known way to make stand-to-stand bridges harder and increasingly more explosive without adding any external resistance
- A jealously-guarded system for going from puny to powerful—when your life may depend on the speed of your results
The copy of Balance Yoga and Wellness is more straightforward about what you’ll learn and why:
- Sequence a yoga class: Use creativity and knowledge of yoga postures to develop a balanced yoga class.
- Use language effectively: Learn effective verbal cues for leading a yoga class.
- Breakdown key yoga postures: Talk students into and out of yoga postures, what the fundamental alignment cues are for each postures.
- Teach safely: Appreciate how our anatomy impacts different types of yoga postures, and learn how to modify yoga postures to avoid injury.
Curiosity-arousing phrases change the tone of your writing. Moreover, curiosity can nudge readers to take action—to satisfy their curiosity.
But it’s a fine balance as too much curiosity arousal can make your content flimsy, pushy, and hypey. In contrast, pairing benefits with features makes your content more substantial, straightforward, and honest.
A word choice exercise: Get out of a writing funk
Ready to explore your voice?
And play with different words?
Try the exercise below and experiment with your word choice. Try to impersonate different personalities. Also, pay attention to how your voice changes when you borrow phrases from, for instance, cooking, fighting, dating, or sports.
Word choice exercise
Complete the following sentence:
I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …
Examples:
The standard, drab version:
I’m a copywriter on a mission to improve web content.
The power-puncher:
I write powerful copy for explosive conversions and skyrocketing sales.
Another strong-armed copywriter:
I write damn good copy for businesses who must stand out in cut-throat competition.
The competitor:
I write the ultimate sales-boosting copy so you can give your competitors the middle finger.
The sparkling personality:
I’m a creative copywriter on a mission to add sparkle to boring web content.
The seductress:
I write copy so seductive your favorite clients fall in love with your work.
The sensory cook:
I cook up delicious copy, zesty emails, and tasty blog posts to help you grow your business.
The quiet rebel:
I’m an irreverent copywriter on a mission to stamp out gobbledygook.
Have fun with as many options as you like. Leave the options percolating overnight, and choose a favorite the next day. Consider adding your mission statement to your social media bios and About page.
Playing with words is like trying new clothes
Pick up a different style, try it on, and see how it looks in the mirror.
Does that jacket make you feel confident? Does that fuchsia scarf make you feel more creative? Wanna try a bolder style? Or a different color?
Playing with words puts the fun back into writing.
It enlivens our copy. And invigorates our soul.
Have fun!
FREE 22-page ebook
How to Choose Words With Power and Pizzazz
- Discover 4 wordy rules for captivating your audience
- Learn how to fortify and energize your message
- Get examples that show you how to spice up your writing
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PS Thank you to Darren DeMatas of Selfstartr for inspiring this post.
What this handout is about
This handout can help you revise your papers for word-level clarity, eliminate wordiness and avoid clichés, find the words that best express your ideas, and choose words that suit an academic audience.
Introduction
Writing is a series of choices. As you work on a paper, you choose your topic, your approach, your sources, and your thesis; when it’s time to write, you have to choose the words you will use to express your ideas and decide how you will arrange those words into sentences and paragraphs. As you revise your draft, you make more choices. You might ask yourself, “Is this really what I mean?” or “Will readers understand this?” or “Does this sound good?” Finding words that capture your meaning and convey that meaning to your readers is challenging. When your instructors write things like “awkward,” “vague,” or “wordy” on your draft, they are letting you know that they want you to work on word choice. This handout will explain some common issues related to word choice and give you strategies for choosing the best words as you revise your drafts.
As you read further into the handout, keep in mind that it can sometimes take more time to “save” words from your original sentence than to write a brand new sentence to convey the same meaning or idea. Don’t be too attached to what you’ve already written; if you are willing to start a sentence fresh, you may be able to choose words with greater clarity.
For tips on making more substantial revisions, take a look at our handouts on reorganizing drafts and revising drafts.
“Awkward,” “vague,” and “unclear” word choice
So: you write a paper that makes perfect sense to you, but it comes back with “awkward” scribbled throughout the margins. Why, you wonder, are instructors so fond of terms like “awkward”? Most instructors use terms like this to draw your attention to sentences they had trouble understanding and to encourage you to rewrite those sentences more clearly.
Difficulties with word choice aren’t the only cause of awkwardness, vagueness, or other problems with clarity. Sometimes a sentence is hard to follow because there is a grammatical problem with it or because of the syntax (the way the words and phrases are put together). Here’s an example: “Having finished with studying, the pizza was quickly eaten.” This sentence isn’t hard to understand because of the words I chose—everybody knows what studying, pizza, and eating are. The problem here is that readers will naturally assume that first bit of the sentence “(Having finished with studying”) goes with the next noun that follows it—which, in this case, is “the pizza”! It doesn’t make a lot of sense to imply that the pizza was studying. What I was actually trying to express was something more like this: “Having finished with studying, the students quickly ate the pizza.” If you have a sentence that has been marked “awkward,” “vague,” or “unclear,” try to think about it from a reader’s point of view—see if you can tell where it changes direction or leaves out important information.
Sometimes, though, problems with clarity are a matter of word choice. See if you recognize any of these issues:
- Misused words—the word doesn’t actually mean what the writer thinks it does.
Example: Cree Indians were a monotonous culture until French and British settlers arrived.
Revision: Cree Indians were a homogenous culture. - Words with unwanted connotations or meanings.
Example: I sprayed the ants in their private places.
Revision: I sprayed the ants in their hiding places. - Using a pronoun when readers can’t tell whom/what it refers to.
Example: My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though he didn’t like him very much.
Revision: My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though Jake doesn’t like Trey very much. - Jargon or technical terms that make readers work unnecessarily hard. Maybe you need to use some of these words because they are important terms in your field, but don’t throw them in just to “sound smart.”
Example: The dialectical interface between neo-Platonists and anti-disestablishment Catholics offers an algorithm for deontological thought.
Revision: The dialogue between neo-Platonists and certain Catholic thinkers is a model for deontological thought. - Loaded language. Sometimes we as writers know what we mean by a certain word, but we haven’t ever spelled that out for readers. We rely too heavily on that word, perhaps repeating it often, without clarifying what we are talking about.
Example: Society teaches young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change society.
Revision: Contemporary American popular media, like magazines and movies, teach young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change the images and role models girls are offered.
Wordiness
Sometimes the problem isn’t choosing exactly the right word to express an idea—it’s being “wordy,” or using words that your reader may regard as “extra” or inefficient. Take a look at the following list for some examples. On the left are some phrases that use three, four, or more words where fewer will do; on the right are some shorter substitutes:
I came to the realization that | I realized that |
She is of the opinion that | She thinks that |
Concerning the matter of | About |
During the course of | During |
In the event that | If |
In the process of | During, while |
Regardless of the fact that | Although |
Due to the fact that | Because |
In all cases | Always |
At that point in time | Then |
Prior to | Before |
Keep an eye out for wordy constructions in your writing and see if you can replace them with more concise words or phrases.
Clichés
In academic writing, it’s a good idea to limit your use of clichés. Clichés are catchy little phrases so frequently used that they have become trite, corny, or annoying. They are problematic because their overuse has diminished their impact and because they require several words where just one would do.
The main way to avoid clichés is first to recognize them and then to create shorter, fresher equivalents. Ask yourself if there is one word that means the same thing as the cliché. If there isn’t, can you use two or three words to state the idea your own way? Below you will see five common clichés, with some alternatives to their right. As a challenge, see how many alternatives you can create for the final two examples.
Agree to disagree | Disagree |
Dead as a doornail | Dead |
Last but not least | Last |
Pushing the envelope | Approaching the limit |
Up in the air | Unknown/undecided |
Try these yourself:
Play it by ear | _____?_____ |
Let the cat out of the bag | _____?_____ |
Writing for an academic audience
When you choose words to express your ideas, you have to think not only about what makes sense and sounds best to you, but what will make sense and sound best to your readers. Thinking about your audience and their expectations will help you make decisions about word choice.
Some writers think that academic audiences expect them to “sound smart” by using big or technical words. But the most important goal of academic writing is not to sound smart—it is to communicate an argument or information clearly and convincingly. It is true that academic writing has a certain style of its own and that you, as a student, are beginning to learn to read and write in that style. You may find yourself using words and grammatical constructions that you didn’t use in your high school writing. The danger is that if you consciously set out to “sound smart” and use words or structures that are very unfamiliar to you, you may produce sentences that your readers can’t understand.
When writing for your professors, think simplicity. Using simple words does not indicate simple thoughts. In an academic argument paper, what makes the thesis and argument sophisticated are the connections presented in simple, clear language.
Keep in mind, though, that simple and clear doesn’t necessarily mean casual. Most instructors will not be pleased if your paper looks like an instant message or an email to a friend. It’s usually best to avoid slang and colloquialisms. Take a look at this example and ask yourself how a professor would probably respond to it if it were the thesis statement of a paper: “Moulin Rouge really bit because the singing sucked and the costume colors were nasty, KWIM?”
Selecting and using key terms
When writing academic papers, it is often helpful to find key terms and use them within your paper as well as in your thesis. This section comments on the crucial difference between repetition and redundancy of terms and works through an example of using key terms in a thesis statement.
Repetition vs. redundancy
These two phenomena are not necessarily the same. Repetition can be a good thing. Sometimes we have to use our key terms several times within a paper, especially in topic sentences. Sometimes there is simply no substitute for the key terms, and selecting a weaker term as a synonym can do more harm than good. Repeating key terms emphasizes important points and signals to the reader that the argument is still being supported. This kind of repetition can give your paper cohesion and is done by conscious choice.
In contrast, if you find yourself frustrated, tiredly repeating the same nouns, verbs, or adjectives, or making the same point over and over, you are probably being redundant. In this case, you are swimming aimlessly around the same points because you have not decided what your argument really is or because you are truly fatigued and clarity escapes you. Refer to the “Strategies” section below for ideas on revising for redundancy.
Building clear thesis statements
Writing clear sentences is important throughout your writing. For the purposes of this handout, let’s focus on the thesis statement—one of the most important sentences in academic argument papers. You can apply these ideas to other sentences in your papers.
A common problem with writing good thesis statements is finding the words that best capture both the important elements and the significance of the essay’s argument. It is not always easy to condense several paragraphs or several pages into concise key terms that, when combined in one sentence, can effectively describe the argument.
However, taking the time to find the right words offers writers a significant edge. Concise and appropriate terms will help both the writer and the reader keep track of what the essay will show and how it will show it. Graders, in particular, like to see clearly stated thesis statements. (For more on thesis statements in general, please refer to our handout.)
Example: You’ve been assigned to write an essay that contrasts the river and shore scenes in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. You work on it for several days, producing three versions of your thesis:
Version 1: There are many important river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn.
Version 2: The contrasting river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn suggest a return to nature.
Version 3: Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.
Let’s consider the word choice issues in these statements. In Version 1, the word “important”—like “interesting”—is both overused and vague; it suggests that the author has an opinion but gives very little indication about the framework of that opinion. As a result, your reader knows only that you’re going to talk about river and shore scenes, but not what you’re going to say. Version 2 is an improvement: the words “return to nature” give your reader a better idea where the paper is headed. On the other hand, she still does not know how this return to nature is crucial to your understanding of the novel.
Finally, you come up with Version 3, which is a stronger thesis because it offers a sophisticated argument and the key terms used to make this argument are clear. At least three key terms or concepts are evident: the contrast between river and shore scenes, a return to nature, and American democratic ideals.
By itself, a key term is merely a topic—an element of the argument but not the argument itself. The argument, then, becomes clear to the reader through the way in which you combine key terms.
Strategies for successful word choice
- Be careful when using words you are unfamiliar with. Look at how they are used in context and check their dictionary definitions.
- Be careful when using the thesaurus. Each word listed as a synonym for the word you’re looking up may have its own unique connotations or shades of meaning. Use a dictionary to be sure the synonym you are considering really fits what you are trying to say.
- Don’t try to impress your reader or sound unduly authoritative. For example, which sentence is clearer to you: “a” or “b”?
- Under the present conditions of our society, marriage practices generally demonstrate a high degree of homogeneity.
- In our culture, people tend to marry others who are like themselves. (Longman, p. 452)
- Before you revise for accurate and strong adjectives, make sure you are first using accurate and strong nouns and verbs. For example, if you were revising the sentence “This is a good book that tells about the Revolutionary War,” think about whether “book” and “tells” are as strong as they could be before you worry about “good.” (A stronger sentence might read “The novel describes the experiences of a soldier during the Revolutionary War.” “Novel” tells us what kind of book it is, and “describes” tells us more about how the book communicates information.)
- Try the slash/option technique, which is like brainstorming as you write. When you get stuck, write out two or more choices for a questionable word or a confusing sentence, e.g., “questionable/inaccurate/vague/inappropriate.” Pick the word that best indicates your meaning or combine different terms to say what you mean.
- Look for repetition. When you find it, decide if it is “good” repetition (using key terms that are crucial and helpful to meaning) or “bad” repetition (redundancy or laziness in reusing words).
- Write your thesis in five different ways. Make five different versions of your thesis sentence. Compose five sentences that express your argument. Try to come up with four alternatives to the thesis sentence you’ve already written. Find five possible ways to communicate your argument in one sentence to your reader. (We’ve just used this technique—which of the last five sentences do you prefer?)Whenever we write a sentence we make choices. Some are less obvious than others, so that it can often feel like we’ve written the sentence the only way we know how. By writing out five different versions of your thesis, you can begin to see your range of choices. The final version may be a combination of phrasings and words from all five versions, or the one version that says it best. By literally spelling out some possibilities for yourself, you will be able to make better decisions.
- Read your paper out loud and at… a… slow… pace. You can do this alone or with a friend, roommate, TA, etc. When read out loud, your written words should make sense to both you and other listeners. If a sentence seems confusing, rewrite it to make the meaning clear.
- Instead of reading the paper itself, put it down and just talk through your argument as concisely as you can. If your listener quickly and easily comprehends your essay’s main point and significance, you should then make sure that your written words are as clear as your oral presentation was. If, on the other hand, your listener keeps asking for clarification, you will need to work on finding the right terms for your essay. If you do this in exchange with a friend or classmate, rest assured that whether you are the talker or the listener, your articulation skills will develop.
- Have someone not familiar with the issue read the paper and point out words or sentences he/she finds confusing. Do not brush off this reader’s confusion by assuming he or she simply doesn’t know enough about the topic. Instead, rewrite the sentences so that your “outsider” reader can follow along at all times.
- Check out the Writing Center’s handouts on style, passive voice, and proofreading for more tips.
Questions to ask yourself
- Am I sure what each word I use really means? Am I positive, or should I look it up?
- Have I found the best word or just settled for the most obvious, or the easiest, one?
- Am I trying too hard to impress my reader?
- What’s the easiest way to write this sentence? (Sometimes it helps to answer this question by trying it out loud. How would you say it to someone?)
- What are the key terms of my argument?
- Can I outline out my argument using only these key terms? What others do I need? Which do I not need?
- Have I created my own terms, or have I simply borrowed what looked like key ones from the assignment? If I’ve borrowed the terms, can I find better ones in my own vocabulary, the texts, my notes, the dictionary, or the thesaurus to make myself clearer?
- Are my key terms too specific? (Do they cover the entire range of my argument?) Can I think of specific examples from my sources that fall under the key term?
- Are my key terms too vague? (Do they cover more than the range of my argument?)
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial. We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.
Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers, 6th ed. New York: Longman.
Cook, Claire Kehrwald. 1985. Line by Line: How to Improve Your Own Writing. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Grossman, Ellie. 1997. The Grammatically Correct Handbook: A Lively and Unorthodox Review of Common English for the Linguistically Challenged. New York: Hyperion.
Houghton Mifflin. 1996. The American Heritage Book of English Usage: A Practical and Authoritative Guide to Contemporary English. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
O’Conner, Patricia. 2010. Woe Is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English, 3rd ed. New York: Penguin Publishing Group.
Tarshis, Barry. 1998. How to Be Your Own Best Editor: The Toolkit for Everyone Who Writes. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Williams, Joseph, and Joseph Bizup. 2017. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 12th ed. Boston: Pearson.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 4.0 License.
You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
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Hello, everyone.
Two persons, say, are justifying their respective choices for choosing a language to learn. Person A justifies his choice by the fact that hundreds of millions of people speak that language, whereas B argues that, and although spoken by far less number of people, the language he choosed gives access to a rich culture and wealth of knowledge that’s characteristic of the people of that language.
Now, if we were to describe Person A as aproaching/looking at the matter from a quantitve point of view, does it mean that B is looking at it from a quality point of view?
I don’t think quality is the word.. . What do you think?
Thank you.
The words you are looking for are quantitative and qualitative.
Answer this Question
Last week I discussed a few of the MANY reasons Martin Luther King, Jr was one of the best communicators of our time (and someone every human in our field can learn from).
One of the things he was best at was the use of targeted, strategic, and powerful word choice.
This week I wanted to dive into this further because word choice is something that’s incredibly important but often overlooked by communicators.
Word Choice Matters (Even More Than You Think)
When most of us hear word choices is important, we automatically agree. Of course, word choice is important, duh!?
But the fact is, it’s probably even more important than you think. Otherwise, you’d spend more time focused on it.
So let’s start there. Here are a few of the reasons effective (or ineffective) word choice doesn’t just make content sound good, it’s a game changer for the success of your message, content, conversion goals, and overall communications strategy.
Word Choice Resonates
I hate using the word resonates here, because it’s so overused (talk about poor word choice), but this is really the correct use of it. When you choose a word that hits an emotional chord with your target audience, you win.
I could say the exact same sentence and transmit the exact same message, but the use of one verb makes it more effective for one audience and another verb more effective for another one.
You need to know your target audience well enough to understand which words are their “heart sounds.”
(That sounds sooo crunchy granola I hate to even say it out loud, but this is how I think of it and it helps my word choice process.)
Word Choice Eliminates Redundancy
When you say the right words, you don’t need to say as many of them.
That’s a fact.
And when you say fewer words you keep people focused on the ones that matter.
Proper word choice allows you to write in a powerful and concise manner.
It allows you to tighten up your sentences and avoid unneeded repetition, but still feel like you are getting your point across in a clear and powerful way.
A good way to do this is to use Stephen King’s 10 percent rule. Write something and then go through and eliminate 10 percent of the words. If you feel like you can’t eliminate words and still get your point across, then that means you aren’t using the most effective word choice.
And in this instance, do what I say and not what I do, because if you read my blogs regularly you know I’m a chronic overwriter. But I’m working on it. You all should see my first drafts.
In a world of ever decreasing attention spans reducing redundancy through proper word choice is extremely important.
Word Choice Connects Communities
There was a blog post I wrote a few years ago and I said something super smart about word choice and communities. But I can’t find it. If you know which post I’m referring to, please let me know.
I’m going to try to replicate my insight again here. But you are never as smart the second time. So take what I’m saying here, imagine it five times more insightful, and go with that.
Ok, here goes…
Word choice is an important way to signal to a community that you belong. That you are an insider and not an outsider.
Think about any community you are part of on social media. Maybe it’s parenting or one that revolves around your sport or hobby. When you speak to others in that community you use language people outside of it might not understand.
I love to use my sport, bodybuilding, as a great example of this. Because frankly, if I talked to people outside the bodybuilding community, in the same way, I do inside it, I’d probably be slapped.
Do you know how often I tell men and women alike how much I admire their glutes?
A lot.
I talk about peoples glutes often. This is normally not ok in most places. You can’t just go around commenting on people’s backsides. But in the bodybuilding community, you can.
Likewise here are some phrases or words used often, but that people outside the sport won’t fully understand:
- Taper
- X-frame
- Proportions
- Tie-in
- Width (normal people don’t like when you talk about how wide they are, bodybuilders LOVE it).
- Vascularity
- Natty
I could go on.
The point is EVERY community has words or phrases they use within themselves. It’s sort of like the linguistic secret handshake that lets people know you belong.
How to Improve Your Word Choice
Now the question is: how do you improve your word choice?
Awareness and practice are the two first steps.
This sounds simple, but really it’s what a lot of it comes down to.
You need to stop rushing through creating sentences that matter. Write fewer words and spend more time being strategic with the ones you use.
Obviously, you don’t need to do this with every single sentence you write.
(And goodness knows I write a lot of sentences that are absolutely worthless. I like to call it my “writing style,” but really it’s because I write like I talk and I talk a lot about nothing. But hey, it worked for Seinfeld, right? )
But when it comes to messaging, conversion copy, or just sentences you really want to pack a punch.
Follow this rule:
- Stop, drop, thesaurus.
Really think about the depth you want the word to convey. Try different things and feel them out.
Pay attention to how different word choice changes the following in a sentence:
- Sound
- Tempo
- Sensory effect
- Emotion
- Tone
- Nuance
How do different words just slightly change the meaning or intent of the message?
I promise once you start taking the time to do this you’ll become absolutely obsessed with the power of language and the different ways one word can redirect a message.
Word Choice Training Guide: Language Workout
Your brain is a muscle and you need to train it consistently with a variety of stimuli to get it at its peak. There are two types of workouts I suggest for word choice:
- Language focused
- Literature focused.
Let’s start with language.
- Use the thesaurus ALL.THE.TIME. If you aren’t logging on to thesearus.com at least once a week you are being lazy with word choice. Get in the habit of using a thesaurus liberally.
- Subscribe to a word of the day email. In order to have a better selection of words to choose from.
- Learn a new language. Or if you don’t want to fully commit to a new language, study how other languages describe certain emotions and the different words they use. Love is a good one to look into. Most languages have many different ways to express the concept of love linguistically. Study the different ways they do this and how it changes the meaning or intent.
Word Choice Training Guide: Literature Workout
And here is your workout to pump up your word choice muscle through literature training.
- Read books and poetry from great authors. John Steinbeck, Shakespeare, Dante Alighieri are some of my favorites here. And really take time to read them and think about the symbolism of the phrases vs. blunt storyline. I also recommend you take notes as you go along. I was almost a comparative literature major and the process of deconstructing words, ideas, and intent in this way has helped me so much in my career as a communicator.
- Write poetry. Good poetry is powerful because it forces the author to focus excruciatingly on word choice in order to maximize meaning in a shorter content format. Read it, write it. Make poetry part of your life. Also make sure you try out poetry in stricter formats: haiku, iambic pentameter. This is a good test for your brain and forces you to chose words that fit your meaning, but also the medium. As a side note, I write poetry weekly. No one sees it but me, and I find it incredibly therapeutic. In a world that is often very outward facing, there is something very comforting about writing something beautiful and vast, but having it be yours alone. So try it, it might help your career and your life.
Your Word Choice Tips
And now the floor is yours. What tips should be added here to help communicators improve their word choice?