Grammar use of the word whom

Q:        What did the well-educated owl say?

A:         Whom! Whom!

Actually, if that owl were truly well educated, he’d have said, “Who or whom! Who or whom! It depends on the situation!”

And knowing when you should use who and whom is as easy as She Loves Me (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah). Or, if you prefer, And I Love Her. Just keep humming; we’ll explain.

Just like she and me in She Loves Me, or I and her in And I Love Her, who and whom are pronouns—sometimes interrogative pronouns (which means they’re used to ask questions) and sometimes relative pronouns (which means they’re used to make relative clauses). Who (like she and I) is the subject form; whom (like her and me) is the object form. So you use who when you want to know the subject of the verb and whom when you want to know the object of a verb or preposition.

Pro tip: While knowing how to use whom correctly in formal writing can definitely up your grammar cred, it’s no longer common in everyday conversation, so don’t worry about answering the phone with an elegant and correct “To whom am I speaking?”

So how do you use who and whom?
 

When to Use Who in a Sentence

You probably already know how to use who in a sentence. You use who in questions when you want to know what person is doing something—that is, when you want to discover the subject of the verb.

• Who sang “Unbreak My Heart”?
• Who threw the ball that broke Carol’s stained glass window?
• Who ate my leftover spaghetti and meatballs?

When to Use Whom in a Sentence

The trickier question is this: How do you use whom correctly in a sentence? Use whom in questions when you want to know what person something is being done to—that is, when you want to figure out the object of the verb. You should also use whom when you are asking about the object of a prepositional phrase.
 

When to Use Whom as the Object of a Sentence

What if you know who did something but you don’t know who was on the receiving end of that action? Maybe you know that Sheila was in a fight yesterday, but you don’t know who is walking around today with a black eye. So then you’d ask this question: “Sheila, whom did you hit yesterday?”

Here are some more examples.

• Whom does she love?
• Whom did the vampire attempt to bite?
• Whom did Franklin say he killed?

When to Use Whom with a Preposition

You can also use whom when you’re trying to find out with or to or from or before or behind which person something is happening. These are all prepositions, and prepositions take objects (which is why something is always between you and me, and not you and I).

• From whom did you buy this one-trick pony?
• With whom is Harold going to the Metallica concert?
• Against whom will you be competing in the luge?
• To whom did you expect to give this ridiculously large sweater?

How to Use Who and Whom as Relative Pronouns

A relative clause is a subordinate clause (which simply means it can’t stand on its own as a sentence) that (1) starts with a relative pronoun (such as who or whom) and (2) offers more information about the noun (or phrase or even clause) that it follows. So when should you use who and whom in relative clauses?

Use who in relative clauses when it’s the subject of that clause.

• My mother, who sews quilts for a living, just joined a roller derby team.
• Any writer who uses relative pronouns correctly will make her editor happy.
• Naomi and Ronald, who just moved in next door, have seven dogs.

Use whom in relative clauses when it’s the object of that clause.

• Eliza Schuyler, whom Alexander Hamilton married when she was just twenty-three, lived to be ninety-seven years old.
• The man whom I met while skydiving in the Amazon turned out to be a Russian spy.
• Bill, whom my dog bites every time he visits, now has a permanent limp.

Quantifiers and Whom

Many quantifiers (a word or phrase used to indicate number or amount) in English can be followed by the preposition of, and since whom is the object form, these quantifiers should all be followed by whom.

• All of
• Both of
• (A) few of
• Many of
• Several of
• None of

Here are some examples:

• Professor O’Leary has many students, most of whom love her.
• George and Martha have two children, both of whom are blond.
• Parliament-Funkadelic has dozens of members, all of whom also perform with other groups.
• Many brave knights venture into the cave of dragons, few of whom ever return.

Pro tip: Because people are countable, always use the countable quantifiers: many of rather than much of and a few of rather than a bit of.

Not Sure about Who vs. Whom? Use the He/Him Test!

When you’re not sure whether to use who or whom in a sentence, use the he/him test.

Who  ——> He

Whom   ——>  Him

(Technically, the he/him test could also be the I/me test or the she/her test and so on, but using he and him has one specific advantage: both whom and him end with an m, and that reminds you that they go together.)

Here’s how it works. When you’re not sure whether to use who or whom, substitute he or him (sometimes by answering the question), and see which is correct.
 

Who vs. Whom? Round 1!

The boy [who/whom] my mother made me call is a dweeb.

My mother made me call [he/him].

Since you’d use him in the test sentence, you should use whom in the original sentence.

The boy whom my mother made me call is a dweeb.

Who vs. Whom? Round 2!

My father, [who/whom] is Sicilian, spends all his free time growing tomatoes.

[He/Him] is Sicilian.

Since you’d use he in the test sentence, you should use who in the original sentence.

My father, who is Sicilian, spends all his free time growing tomatoes.

Who vs. Whom? Round 3!

[Who/Whom] wants to eat the last brownie?

[He/Him] wants to eat the last brownie.

Since you’d use he in the test sentence, you should use who in the original sentence.

Who wants to eat the last brownie?

Who vs. Whom? Round 4!

[Who/Whom] are you interviewing for this position?

I am interviewing [he/him].

Since you’d use him in the test sentence, you should use whom in the original sentence.

Whom are you interviewing for this position?

Whoever vs. Whomever

Whoever and whomever are pronouns that follow exactly the same rules as who and whom—that is, whoever is a subject pronoun, and whomever is an object pronoun. Whoever and whomever are a bit more vague than who and whom and mean something like “any person who” or “the person or people who.” But how do you know when to use whoever vs. whomever?

Whoever is a subject pronoun and works like I, he, she, we, and they.

• Whoever baked this amazing chocolate cake is my new best friend.
• I want to give this pile of cash to whoever needs it most.

Whomever is an object pronoun and works like me, him, her, us, and them.

• I will happily give detention to whomever I spy lingering near the punch bowl.
• That is between me and whomever I decide to marry.

The tricky bit here is that whoever and whomever often meet at the intersection of two clauses, and sometimes the pronoun seems to be the object of one clause but the subject of another. So how do you decide which to use, whoever vs. whomever? Whomever vs. whoever?

Try covering up everything before the pronoun and then using the he/him test.

I want to give this pile of cash to whoever needs it most.

[He/Him] needs it most.

Since he is obviously correct, the right relative pronoun is whoever.

I will happily give detention to whomever I spy lingering near the punch bowl.

I spy [he/him] lingering near the punch bowl.

Since him is correct, the right relative pronoun is whomever.

Pro tip: Whoever is used far more often than whomever, so if you’re really stuck on whoever vs. whomever, use whoever.

How Well Do You Know Who and Whom?

Think you’ve mastered the gauntlet of who vs. whom? Test yourself and see!

1. Karen, [who/whom] I love more than words, is a terrible cook.
2. [Who/whom] let the dogs out?
3. MacGregor is the gardener [who/whom] is having trouble with rabbits.
4. MacGregor is the angry gardener [who/whom] Peter told you about last week.
5. [Who/whom] is your favorite Beatle?
6. I don’t know [who/whom] to give this ridiculous hat to.
7. Calvin’s older daughter, [who/whom] doesn’t like me, just passed the bar exam.
8. Funnily enough, his younger daughter, [who/whom] I’ve been friends with since I was fifteen, is a bartender.
9. Waldo, do you remember [who/whom] was there when you bought your first striped shirt?
10. The masked man, [who/whom] I think is Luke’s father, has really bad asthma.

Bonus questions!

1. [Whoever/Whomever] wrote me that anonymous letter is a coward.
2. I don’t know why, but my brother always votes for the opponent of [whoever/whomever] I vote for.
3. Remember to send the invitations to [whoever/whomever] should be coming to the party. But don’t send invitations to [whoever/whomever] we’re trying to avoid.

Conclusion

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

Actually, it’s to whom.

For whom is this blog written? Why, it is written for all those who would like to have a deeper understanding of who vs. whom and when you should use who and whom. I hope that (whoever you are) you now feel totally ready to go out and use whom correctly in a sentence!

And if you’re now wondering what the difference is between whose and whom, well, we have a post for that too.

ANSWER KEY

1. whom
2. who
3. who
4. whom
5. who
6. whom
7. who
8. whom
9. who
10. who

BONUS QUESTIONS ANSWER KEY

1. whoever
2. whomever
3. whoever; whomever

What’s the difference between who and whom? These are two words that cause a lot of confusion, even for native-English speakers. So, it’s well worth taking a few minutes to know the difference between the two. Below, we’ve provided an easy guide on understanding the grammatical rules. We’ve also given some examples on how to use who and whom correctly. If you want to avoid mistakes in using who vs whom, read on.

Who vs whom: the grammar rules

The difference between who and whom explained

Easy tip to tell the difference between who and whom

How to use who and whom correctly: sentence examples (with an explanation)

Grammar Quiz: Who vs Whom in English language

The Advanced Who vs Whom

Grammar Quiz: Answer key

The He/Him Test

To begin, the simplest way to determine the correct word is to replace “who” or “whom” with the same part of speech. Try another object pronoun (also called objective pronoun) or subject pronoun (also called subjective pronoun). See if you can substitute the mystery word for either “he” or “him.” When you can replace the word with “him,” you should use “whom,” another objective pronoun. When “he” fits, you should use “who,” another subjective pronoun. You can remember that “him” and “whom” go together—and end with the same letter.

Examples:

Who/whom is hungry?

He is hungry. (Subjective pronoun)

With who/whom did you argue?

I argued with him. (Objective pronoun)

You thanked who/whom?

You thanked him. (Objective pronoun)

Notice that in the second sentence we had to flip around the phrasing in order to determine which word—”he” or “him”—fit best. That’s quite common. Often, in order to replace the word, you’ll need to restate the phrase so that the subject and verb come first, followed by the object. When who/whom appears as an interrogative pronoun, try answering the question as a way of rephrasing the sentence with a subject-verb-object construction. 

Here’s another example with an interrogative pronoun:

Example: Who/whom could she ask?

Now, we’ll answer the question. 

She could ask him. 

In this example, the mystery word is acting as the object of the verb “to ask.” You would never say “She could ask he.” For that reason, “whom,” the objective pronoun, is correct.

Linking Verbs

When you use linking verbs, they describe a state of being, rather than an action. If you use a pronoun with a linking verb, you should always select a subjective pronoun. That’s a rule that has nothing to do with who/whom. It’s just one of those things that makes linking verbs special! 

It is I.

It was she.

This is he. 

Knowing that, you’ll have a much easier time choosing between “who” and “whom.” You’ll want to choose the subjective pronoun any time you see a linking verb in a sentence with only one clause. Just remember the simple trick: if you see a linking verb, choose “who” in a simple sentence. 

It is I. 

Who is it? It is who I say it is. 

It was she.

Who was it? It was who I thought. 

This is he. 

Who is this? This is who pulled the fire alarm. 

How to Use Whoever and Whomever

Use “whoever” and “whomever” the same way you would use “who” and “whom.”

Whoever/whomever knows the answer gets extra points. 

In the example above, you could substitute “he” for the mystery word. He knows the answer. He gets extra points. Once you know you’re looking for a subjective pronoun, the word “whoever” becomes the obvious choice.

Whoever knows the answer gets extra points. 

Now, we get to a more difficult use case. What if the sentence is more complicated? If you see two verbs, try to break down the sentence into parts. 

I trust whoever/whomever you hire.

In this case, you should use the objective case. Why? Well, first, you break the sentence into two sections. 

Section 1:

I trust ____.

Section 2: 

You hire ____.

In both sections of the sentence, you would use the objective case. I trust him. You hire him. Therefore, you should complete the sentence with the word “whomever.” I trust whomever you hire. However, if you broke the sentence into two parts and found that you needed both a subjective and an objective pronoun, then you would choose “whoever” instead.

Here’s an example.

I trust whoever/whomever completes the assignment.

Section 1: 

I trust _____.

Section 2: 

_____ completes the assignment.

This time, you would use both the objective case and the subjective case. I trust him. He completes the assignment. For that reason, you’d choose “whoever.” I trust whoever completes the assignment. 

The Object of a Prepositional Phrase

Sometimes you’ll find the mystery word nested in another clause, like a prepositional phrase. If that’s the case, determine whether the word is an object or a subject of a clause. For prepositional phrases, you’ll always choose “whom” because you need the mystery word to act as the object of the prepositional phrase. 

Here are some examples of how the word “whom” can be used within a prepositional phrase.

That’s the person about whom I was talking.

For whom were you named?

My aunt, with whom I traveled to Europe, turned eighty. 

The person from whom I got my car lied about the mileage. 

Those sentences may sound a bit old fashioned, but they follow the rules of proper grammar!

To recap, you should use the words “whom” and “whomever,” on the occasions when you need an objective pronoun. These words work well as the objects of phrases (like prepositional phrases) or the objects of sentences. Either way, without ever diagramming a sentence, you should be able to use the he/him test to decide whether the word “whom” is appropriate. If you’re looking at a particularly challenging sentence, try breaking it into sections to see which word fits best.

Test Your Skills

1) The last plate goes to whoever/whomever.

2) The last plate goes to whoever/whomever gets home first. 

3) He was the one who/whom took the prize. 

4) Who/whom is calling?

Answers: 1) whomever 2) whoever 3) who 4) who

Sources:

1. https://www.thoughtco.com/who-and-whom-1857114
2. https://www.english-grammar-revolution.com/who-vs-whom.html
3. https://www.proofreadnow.com/blog/who-or-whom-get-it-right-every-time-with-these-3-tricks
4. http://www.whitesmoke.com/janestraus_6

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What You Really Need to Know About ‘Who’ and ‘Whom’

Trust your instincts. The choice between who and whom can sometimes be confusing, and this has always been the case. But English is extremely flexible, and actual usage doesn’t always follow the strict rules of grammar. Our ears are our guides, and there are many constructions (like «Whom did you speak to?» vs. «Who did you speak to?») in which whom may be technically correct but still feel fussy or unnatural. In these cases, it is perfectly standard to use who.

A Detailed Guide for Hardcore Grammar Fans

Whom is both simple and complicated. It is simple in that it is simply the objective case of who, which means that it’s the form of who that is in the object position in a sentence. What exactly constitutes the object position in a sentence is where things get complicated.

An object, in grammatical terms, is a noun or noun equivalent (such as a pronoun, gerund, or clause) that receives the action of a verb or that completes the meaning of a preposition—so, for example, sandwich in «They bought a sandwich»; it in «My dog ate it»; apologizing in «an appropriate time for apologizing»; and that it was true in «I was afraid that it was true.»

Who is a pronoun, which means that it’s used instead of a noun or noun phrase to refer to a noun/noun phrase that has already been mentioned or that does not need to be named specifically. Whom replaces who in spots where that word would receive the action of the verb or complete the meaning of a preposition.

‘Who’ vs ‘Whom’ Examples

Let’s look at some of the grammatical places who tends to appear and see whether whom ought to go there instead.

Who often functions as an interrogative pronoun, which means that it introduces questions that have nouns as the answer:

Who told my dog about that sandwich?

Who should my dog apologize to?

Both of these sentences sound natural with who, but if we want to know whether whom is the grammarian’s choice in either of them, we’ll have to determine if each who is in the object position. With questions, the easiest way to do this is to reimagine the question as a statement. «Who told my dog about that sandwich?» becomes «X told my dog about that sandwich,» with «X» standing for the unknown divulger of sandwich existence. «X» is the subject of the verb told, since «X» has done the telling, so who is indeed correct.

Reimagining the second question as a statement, «Who should my dog apologize to?» becomes «My dog should apologize to X.» «X» is the object of the preposition to, so who should technically be whom: «Whom should my dog apologize to?» (If you don’t like the terminal preposition—which is ancient and perfectly grammatical—you may prefer «To whom should my dog apologize?») We’ll highlight the preferred versions:

Whom should my dog apologize to?

OR

To whom should my dog apologize?

Relative Pronouns and Subordinate Clauses

Who and whom also frequently function as relative pronouns, which means that they refer to a noun or noun phrase that was mentioned earlier:

The person who told my dog about the sandwich was unhelpful.

The sandwich’s owner, who my dog apologized to, requires a replacement sandwich.

Again, some analysis is required to determine if who here is in the object position and should therefore technically be whom. Relative pronouns introduce subordinate clauses, a subordinate clause being a group of words that has a subject and predicate but that doesn’t by itself form a complete sentence. In the sentences above, the subordinate clauses are «who told my dog about the sandwich» and «who my dog apologized to.» To determine whether whom is the preferred pronoun, we need to figure out if the noun or noun phrase that who refers to is in the object position or not. We’ll replace who with the noun/noun phrase it refers to, and split the whole thing into two sentences for clarity:

The person told my dog about the sandwich.

The person was unhelpful.

In «The person who told my dog about the sandwich was unhelpful,» who refers to «the person,» which is the subject of both predicates: «told my dog about the sandwich» and «was unhelpful.» Therefore, who is indeed the preferred choice.

Now we’ll look at the second relative pronoun example, replacing who with the noun/noun phrase it refers to, again splitting the original into two sentences:

The sandwich’s owner requires a replacement sandwich.

The sandwich’s owner my dog apologized to.

To make that second one grammatical, we have to do some rearranging, as we did with the questions:

My dog apologized to the sandwich’s owner.

In «The sandwich’s owner, who my dog apologized to, requires a replacement sandwich,» the subject of the verb apologized is «my dog»; who is actually the object of the preposition to, which means that whom is the preferred pronoun here:

The sandwich’s owner, whom my dog apologized to, requires a replacement sandwich.

More Tricky Examples

These can be tricky so we’ll analyze a few more examples. Plus, this sandwich-dog drama goes deeper.

According to my cat, who was among those witness to the sandwich consumption, the sandwich appeared to have been abandoned.

Is who here correct? Yes: because who, while referring to «my cat,» is the subject of the predicate «was among those witness to the sandwich consumption.»

My cat, who I was eager to believe, has been known to fib.

How about here? In this case, who refers again to «my cat,» but is the object of the verb believe: «I was eager to believe my cat.» Therefore the sentence should technically in fact be:

My cat, whom I was eager to believe, has been known to fib.

Sometimes the who/whom is quite buried, syntactically speaking, making analysis especially difficult. See here:

I know that who is on the cat’s good side always matters in such cases.

Here, we have the conjunction that introducing a subordinate clause headed by the pronoun who. The first part of our analysis is determining the subject and predicate of the entire sentence. The subject is I; the predicate is everything else. Know is the main verb, and everything else is actually the object of that verb: «I know x.»

Now that we know much, we can focus on what who is doing in that very long subordinate clause:

Who is on the cat’s good side always matters in such cases.

Who here is a relative pronoun referring to an understood noun/noun phrase along the lines of «which person/creature.» Since the sentence is still quite complex, we’ll simplify again, finding the main subject and predicate. Stripped down to its most essential meaning, the sentence can be understood as «Who (aka, which creature) always matters,» which tells us that the subject is the entire bit «Who is on the cat’s good side,» and the predicate is «always matters in such cases.»

Note, though, that the subject is itself a clause with its own subject and predicate: «Who is on the cat’s good side.» Who is the subject of the verb is: «X is on the cat’s good side.» This means that our original sentence is indeed technically correct, despite the fact that who appears in what looks like an object position, after the verb know:

I know that who is on the cat’s good side always matters in such cases.

After all that, surely no one can claim that keeping who and whom in their prescribed places is easy to do. In fact, it’s about as easy as keeping a dog from eating an unguarded, and ostensibly abandoned, sandwich.

Want More Commonly Confused Words?

• Who’s vs. Whose
• Soever, Whomsoever, and Wheresoever
• Than I vs. Than Me

A lot of people have trouble on when to use the words who and whom. Mixing these words up can be relatively easy, and, if you confuse them too frequently, it can cause your writing to look sloppy.

So, in this post we’ll talk about the grammatical functions of who vs. whom as well as give you a few tricks to easily determine which word to use and when.

Now, to begin, both who and whom are pronouns, which means they are words used as substitutes for nouns. But even though they are both pronouns, they are used different in a sentence. Let’s take a look at each word.

When to Use Who

When do you use who? When who is used in a sentence, it takes the nominative form. That simply means that it acts as the subject of the sentence. For instance,

• Who ate the pizza?
• He ate the pizza.

In this example, who is acting as the subject of the sentence in the same way that he is.

When to Use Whom

When do you use whom? When whom is used in a sentence, it takes the objective form. That simply means that it acts as an object, either of a verb or preposition. For example,

• You called whom?
• You called him?
• I deliver the pizza to whom?
• I delivered the pizza to him.

In both of these examples, the word whom is acting as an object.

In the first set, the word whom is acting as the object of the verb “call.” Whom did you call? I called him. It describes the person you called.

In the second set, the word whom is acting as the object of the preposition “to.” To whom did you deliver the pizza? I delivered the pizza to him. It describes the person to whom you delivered the pizza (to him).

Problem Sentences

Now, determining the case (nominative or objective) of these words can sometimes be tricky because who and whom so often find themselves in the form of a question.

This makes their true function within the sentence hard to see unless you sort the words into a standard subject-verb-object sentence. To help with this, I suggest changing sentences like the following ones into “I should say who is calling?” to make them easier.

• Wrong: Whom should I say is calling?
• Correct: Who should I say is calling?

By changing these sentences into the form “I should say who is calling?” you can more clearly see identify the subject, verb, and object.

Another problem that arises when determining the proper case is when the pronoun serves a function (for example, nominative) in a clause that itself serves a different function (for example, objective) in the main clause.

In situations like these, the pronoun’s function within its own clause determines its case. For example,

• WRONG: Give it to whomever wants it.
• CORRECT: Give it to whoever wants it.
• WRONG: Whoever you choose is fine by me.
• CORRECT: Whomever you choose is fine by me.

In the first example above, the entire clause “whoever wants it” is the object of the preposition “to.” But, in the clause itself, “whoever” serves as the subject, and that function determines the case.

Similarly, in the second sentence “whomever” is the object of “choose” in the clause, so it must be in the objective case even though the clause itself serves as the subject of the sentence.

Tricks to Remember

Now that you know the functions of whom vs. who within a sentence, I can show you an easy trick that can speed up the process of determining their cases.

If you still don’t know when to use who or whom, try simply substituting the words he/him in the clause where the whom or who appears. If “him” sounds better than “he” in the clause, use “whom” because “him” and “whom” both end in and “m” For our above examples,

• Wrong: I should say him is calling.
• Correct: I should say he is calling.

“Him” does not work in this sentence which means that “he” or “who” is the correct choice.

Summary

In short, who and whom have specific functions in a sentence, and it’s important to use each word correctly.

• The word “who” acts as the subject of a sentence.
  • Who ate my pizza?
• The word “whom” acts as the object of a verb or preposition.
  • Whom are you calling?
  • To whom are you talking?
• You can substitute he/him for who/whom if you are having difficulties in determining their function within a sentence.

The first important thing to know is that the Relative Pronoun ‘Whom‘ is only used in Formal English. In Informal English we generally avoid using ‘Whom’ by phrasing our sentences in ways that make it unnecessary.

It is also important to know the different between a Subject Pronoun and an Object Pronoun. Consider this sentence:

John emailed Ann. 

In this sentence, John is the Subject. John does the action. John writes and sends an email. Ann is the Object in the sentence. Ann doesn’t do an action. Ann is the person who receives the action.

In Informal English, the Relative Pronoun ‘Who’ can be used as both a Subject Pronoun and an Object Pronoun, whereas in Formal English the Relative Pronoun ‘Who’ is used as a Subject Pronoun, but the pronoun ‘Whom’ is used as an Object Pronoun.

For example:
That is the man who got the job.

In this sentence ‘The man’ is the noun, ‘who got the job’ is the relative clause.

‘The man’ did the action and so he is the Subject of the sentence. Therefore, we use the relative pronoun ‘who’ when we describe the subject (‘The man’).

We use the relative pronoun ‘whom’ when the relative pronoun is the Object of the verb it follows.

For example:
‘This is the man whom Ben met last week’

In this example, Ben is the subject of the sentence. Ben did the action. He met the man. In this sentence we have to use the relative pronoun ‘whom’ to describe ‘the man’ because ‘the man’ is the object of the verb.

Here is another example:
Whom did Maria meet last night?

In this sentence Maria is the subject. Maria did the action. The person Maria met is the Object of the sentence. For this reason, we can use the relative pronoun ‘Whom’ in this sentence.

Remember, we only use the pronoun ‘Whom’ in Formal English. If we are using Informal English then we simply use the pronoun ‘who’ in each case. (That is the man who got the job – This is the man who Ben met last week – Who did Maria meet last night?)