Funny words for word of the day

Funny Words starting with A:

1. Abibliophobia: The fear of running out of reading materials to read.

Sentence: I have so many reading materials in my house, anyone would think that I have Abibliophobia or something!

1. Abozzo: A rough sketch of a drawing or a draft poem.

Sentence: I’m almost finished with my abozzo of the Eiffel tower.

1. Ama: Japanese diver who dives for pearls or food.
2.  

Sentence: Amas have been diving for pearls in the Japan region for many years. 

1. Araba: A carriage or coach used in Turkey.

Sentence: I’m taking the araba through the city today.

1. Argle-bargle:  A lot of commotion or a row happening.

Sentence: What’s all this argie-bargie about?

1. Aye-aye: A type of lemur which can be found in Madagascar. 

Sentence: The aye-ayes are such cute little creatures.

Starting with B:

1. Bamboozled: To trick or confuse someone. 

Sentence: I have been bamboozled again by you. 

1. Blubber: This word has two meanings: It can mean to cry very loudly or could refer to excess body fat.

Blubber Sentence: Please, stop your blubbering.

1. Brouhaha: An event which involves great excitement or loud confusion.

Brouhaha in a sentence: Last night’s event was such a brouhaha and nothing was achieved.

1. Bumbershoot: A Bumbershoot is an old-fashioned word for an umbrella.

Bumbershoot in a sentence: Don’t forget your Bumbershoot, dear.

1. Bumfuzzle: This refers to being confused.

Bumfuzzle in a Sentence: I’m completely bumfuzzled!

Starting with C:

1. Cantankerous: Someone who is very grumpy.

Sentence: Our neighbour is such a Cantankerous.

1. Catawampus: Something positioned diagonally. 

Sentence: To get to the school, you need to walk catawampus across that park over there.

1. Collywobbles (kol-ee-wob-uh lz): This is the feeling when you have a stomach ache or when you feel really nervous or scared.

Collywobbles in a sentence: This place gives me the collywobbles, let’s go!

Hilarious Words Starting with D:

1. Dingy: Something that is dark and dull.

Sentence: This house looks a little dingy to me. 

1. Donnybrook: This refers to a fight, riot or a big brawl.

Donnybrook in a sentence: A Donnybrook broke out last night when the police when to arrest the leader of the operation.

1. Doozy: Something that is really great.

Sentence: I’m having a doozy of a time at this party.

1. Dweeb: This is not a nice word to call someone. It means that you think the person is boring and uninteresting.

Sentence: No-one wants to be a dweeb. 

Funny Words That Start With E: 

1. Egad: Used as an expression of shock or amazement.

Sentence: Egad! I never thought of that! 

1. Eep: Another expression of surprise or fear.

Sentence: Eep! That was scary!

1. Epos: Could refer to an epic poem or something that is epic.  

Sentence: That poem was just epos!

Starting with F:

1. Filibuster: Somone who refusing to give up the floor in a debate to prevent a vote.

Sentence: Someone get that silly filibuster out of here now!

1. Flibbertigibbet (flib·ber·ti·gib·bet): Is a word used to describe someone who talks a lot or is very gossipy.

Flibbertigibbet in a sentence: Imagine sitting on a 12-hour flight with a flibbertigibbet next to you.

1. Flabbergasted: To be surprised or shocked by something.

Sentence: I’m just flabbergasted to hear that.

1. Formication: The feeling that ants are crawling on your skin.

Sentence: Her constant shivering could be described as a formication.

1. Fuddy-duddy: Someone who is a mild-mannered person.

Sentence: He can be such a fuddy-duddy sometimes.

Starting with G:

1. Gaberlunzie: A beggar that walks around town to town.

Sentence: He didn’t really have a profession, some may even call him a gaberlunzie.

1. Gardyloo (gahr-dee-loo): This is a disgusting one. It refers to the cry people use to shout when they would throw their slops or droppings out of the window.

Gardyloo in a Sentence: Watch out, Gardyloo coming!

1. Gazump: This word really has a specific meaning. It means to refuse to sell your house to someone who you previously agreed to sell your house to.

Sentence: I’m so happy my offer to buy the house next door was accepted, but what if I get gazumped?

1. Gobbledygook: Speaking Nonsense.

Sentence: Why do you always have to speak such Gobbledygook?

1. Goombah: An older friend who protects you.

Sentence: Jamie didn’t have many friends, but was glad that his grandpa could be his protector – His Goombah.

1. Gubbins: These are objects of very little value like rubbish or litter.

Gubbins in a sentence: No one’s going to buy your gubbins.

Starting with H:

1. Hairball: A ball of hair that a cat normally chokes out.

Sentence: Cats are cute, but I hate it when they throw-up hairballs everywhere.

1. Hocus-pocus: A trick or magical spell.

Sentence: What’s all this hocus-pocus about?

1. Hokey: Something is is silly or old-fashioned.

Sentence: Now that was hokey old movie to watch!

1. Hootenanny: A country music party or get-together.

Sentence: I’m going to an old-fashioned Hootenanny on Saturday, would you like to come?

1. Heckler: Someone who interrupts a public performance with offensive comments.

Sentence: Those footballers are always having to deal with hecklers at their matches. 

Starting with I:

1. Itty-Bitty: Something that is really small or tiny.

Sentence: That ladybird is so itty-bitty.

1.  Ickle: Something that is small and normally cute

Sentence: Look at that ickle baby dolphin!

1. izzat:  This relates to your personal respect and dignity.

Sentence: I’m afraid of saying that in public, as it’ll be against my izzat. 

Starting with J:

1. Jabberwock: Something that is complete nonsense or gibberish

Sentence: Everything he just said was complete Jabberwock.

1. Jazzetry: The reading of poetry which is accompanied by jazz. 

Sentence: I love reading poems, but I’ve never tried jazzetry.

1. Jink: The sudden change in direction.

Sentence: He jinked out of the way, as the ball came towards him.

Fun Words Starting with K:

1. Kagu: An blueish-greyish type of bird which is now an endangered species. 

Sentence: The rare Kagu can be found in the Pacific island of New Caledonia.

1. Kaka: A breed of parrot that can be found in New-Zealand.

Sentence: The kaka parrots are so cool!

1. Kebbie: A Scottish term relating to a walking stick with a hooked end.

Sentence: Pass the old man his keebie.

1. Kibble: Ground meal or gains used as animal feed. 

Sentence: The chickens love this new brand of kibble.

1. Kraken: A mythical sea creature.

Sentence: Just like the loch ness monster, the Kraken is a myth. 

Starting with L:

1. La-di-da: If you described someone as “La-di-da”, you are suggesting that they are upper-class or behaving unnaturally only to impress other people.

La-di-da in a sentence: She thinks she is all La-di-da, but I know what she’s really like.

1. Lol: Short for laughing out loud. Mosting used on social media and in text messages. 

Sentence: Lol – That’s so funny!

1. Lollygagger: Someone who walks around with no aim or goal.

Sentence: They spent their summer lying about, eating and general lollygagging.

1. Lickety-split: When something moves really fast.

Sentence: He was out of the door lickety-split.

Starting with M:

1. Malarkey: An informal word for talking about meaningless things or nonsense.

Malarkey in a sentence: This is all malarkey, I tell ya!

1. Moist: Something that is slightly wet.

Sentence: This blanket seems a little moist to sit on. 

1. Mollycoddle: To be extra nice to someone or to overprotect them.

Sentence: Sometimes what a child needs is some tough love and not mollycoddling all the time.

Starting with N:

1. Nacket: A light lunch or snack.

Sentence: I’m going to have a quick nacket before dinner. 

1. Namby-pamby: Someone who is weak, with no backbone.

Sentence: I don’t want to be some namby-pamby little girl!

1. Napoo: The end of something. A term mostly used by soldiers.

Sentence: Napooh! That’s the end of that story.

1. Niff: Something that smells bad.

Sentence: It’s got that horrible fishy niff. 

1. Nincompoop: This refers to someone who is not intelligent or a fool.

Nincompoop sentence: You act like such a nincompoop sometimes.

Starting with O:

1. Obi: A sash worn around the waist of a kimono.

Sentence: That pink obi would look nice with this kimono. 

1. Oozy: Something that is slimy and wet

Sentence: That table is dripping in ooze. 

1. Oompah: The sound of deep brass instruments in a band.

Sentence: The oompah music in the background really set the tone.

Starting with P:

1. Panjandrum: Someone who thinks that they are superior to others.

Sentence: She’s no queen, but she saw acts like a panjandrum.

1. Patroon: The captain of a ship

Sentence: Look sharp, the patroon will be here soon.

1. Pettifogger: A pettifogger is someone who deals with small or petty businesses. It can also be to argue over small, unimportant matters.

Pettifogger in a sentence: Why do you look up to such a pettifogger?

Starting with Q:

1. Quab: Something that is incomplete or immature

Sentence: That baby bird is still just a quab.

1. Quark: Scientific term used to describe atoms which are made up of smaller particles. 

Sentence: Understanding quarks of fundamental to the world of physics.

1. Quoz: Something that is strange.

Sentence: That’s so quoz! No-one wants to eat cheese and ice-cream together!

Silly Words Starting with R:

1. Ratoon: This refers to the small root that sprouts from a plant, especially during the springtime.

Sentence: I heard somewhere that ratooned plants grow taller and healthier.

1. Rugrat: Refers to a young child or toddler

Sentences: Those rugrats don’t know what’s coming to them!

1. Ruddy: The term sometimes can be used to suggest good health in a person.

Sentence: That ruddy-faced girl was someone I never seen before. 

Starting with S:

1. Sialoquent: Somone who splits while talking.

Sentence: My old science teacher was Sialoquent. I was always scared to go near him!

1. Skedaddle: To ask some to leave or run away very quickly

Skedaddle in a sentence: This is no place to play your silly games, now skedaddle before I get you!

1. Skullduggery Refers to dodgy dealings and some no good business.

Sentence: We need to put a stop to all this skullduggery around this town.

1. Shenanigan: This is when someone is causing a lot of mischiefs or playing tricks.

Shenanigans in a sentence: What’re all the shenanigans about?

1. Snollygoster (snol·ly·gos·ter): This refers to an unethical politician who is guided by personal advantage.

Snollygoster in a sentence: I don’t want any help from a snollygoster.

1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: Something that is really good. And the longest word in the English dictionary.

Sentence: Your cake is simply supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Starting with T:

1. Tatterdemalion:  A poor child wearing rags.

Sentence: I grew up like a tatterdemalion on the streets and now I’m a billionaire!

1. Taradiddle (tar-uh-did-l): this is a small lie or when someone is speaking nonsense.

Taradiddle in a sentence: That’s such taradiddle –  I don’t trust you at all!

1. Thingamajig. A thing for which you have forgotten the name of. 

Sentence: Can you pass that thingamajig over?

1. Troglodyte: Someone that lives in a cave.

Sentence: All my life I’ve been living like Troglodyte cooped up in this house!

Starting with U:

1. Uber: Something that is really great.

Sentence: That’s a really uber-looking coat you got there!

1. Ube: Type of yam which is coloured purple

Sentence: You can make really nice curry using ube.  

1. Upsy-daisy: Lifting up a small child. 

Sentence: Upsy daisy! It’s time for your nap. 

1. Urubu: A blank vulture found in South American.

Sentence: The Urubu is a rare species of bird found in America.

Starting with V:

1. Vamp: To make something brand-new.

Sentence:  Let’s vamp-up your car. 

1. Vexed: Something that is really annoying or frustrating. 

Sentence: This puzzle has really got me vexed. 

1. veepstakes: A competition to find a party-s vice president. 

Sentence: Have you prepared for the upcoming veepstakes?

Starting with W: 

1. Wabbit: A Scottish word referring to feeling exhausted or a little unwell.

Sentence: I’m feeling wabbit today.

1. Widdershins (with -er-shinz): This refers to going in the opposite direction or going down the wrong path.

Widdershins in a sentence: Only widdershins going down that road.

Starting with X:

All words beginning with X are funny ones!

1. Xanthoderm: A person with yellowish skin. 

Sentence:  This make-up makes my skin look a little Xanthoderm. 

1. Xebec: A small sailing-ship with square sails.

Sentence: Let’s take a ride on my new Xebec. 

Starting with Y:

1. Yabby: Refers to any Australian crayfishes used for food. 

Sentence: These yabbies are going to taste delicious. 

1. Yachty: Relates to yachts.

Sentence: I have a yachty-looking T-shirt. 

1. Yaff: A type of bark.

Sentence: The dog yaffed at the mailman.

1. Yawny: When you yawn or when something is boring

Sentence: That movie was a little yawny. 

1. Yahoo:  A rube, a country bumpkin.

Sentence: What’s that yahoo doing here!

1. Yerk: Pull or push something with a sudden movement.

Sentence; She yerked at the rope, as they tried to pull the bucket up from the well.

1. yips: When a golfer misses an easy putt due to nervousness. 

Sentence: Looks like he has the yips today. 

Funniest Words starting with Z:

1. Zaftig: Having a full-rounded figure.

Sentence:  Her zaftig figure was admired by all. 

1. Zappy: Something that is lively and energetic.

Sentence: She looks very zappy today. 

1. Zazzy:  Something that is shiny and flashy

Sentence: Jenny brought herself a new zazzy handbag to match her shoes.

1. Zeze: A string instrument from South Africa. 

Sentence: The sound of the zeze is unique in South Africa.

1. Zizz: To take a short nap or sleep.

Sentence: James likes to take a 2-hour zizz every afternoon at 2 pm.

1. Zoanthropy (zoh-an-thruh-pee): This is when someone believes that they are an animal.

Zoanthropy in a sentence:  I think she suffers from a mild case of Zoanthropy.

“Overthinking kills happiness.”

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“Live for today, not for tomorrow.”

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“Life is short. Smile till you have teeth.”

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“Surround yourself with tacos not negativity.”

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“Never look back, there is nothing there for you.”

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“Friends buy you food. Good friends eat your food.”                                                           

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“Cowboy Wisdom: Don’t squat with your spurs on.”

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“A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ― Mary H. Waldrip

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“Even monkeys fall from trees.” ― Japanese Proverbs

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“Random acts of kindness make everyone feel better.”

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“It’s always too early to quit.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

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“Listen to your dreams – they are smarter than you are.”                                                 

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“If overthinking situations burned calories, I’d be dead.”                                                               

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“One fails forward toward success.” ― Charles Kettering

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“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank

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“If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?”

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“It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” ― Brigitte Bardot

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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” ― Steven Wright

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“They that dance must pay the fiddler.” ― Scottish Proverb

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“I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday!”

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“Marriage: An endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo.”                                           

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“Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.”

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“Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you.”

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“The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.”

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“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” ― Tony Robbins

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“If you all the rules, you miss all the fun.” ― Katharine Hepburn

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“Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some Honors!”                                             

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“This too shall pass. It might like a kidney stone, but it will pass.”

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“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” ― Phyllis Diller

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“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”

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“It’s funny how nobody notices what you do until you don’t do it.”                                                 

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“Common sense is a flow that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.”

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“Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures.” ― Gene Brown

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“When a southern woman says “Oh hell no”. It’s already too late.”

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“Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.”

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“Happiness comes from within. So why are you trying to chase it?”

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“The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.”

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“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.”                                         

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“No response is a response. And it’s powerful one. Remember that.”

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“Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” ― Stephen Covey

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“Cause your facial expression to change – smile.” ― Catherine Pulsifer

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“Why do we call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams

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“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” ― Charles Gordy

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“I could be a morning person… if morning was sometime around noon.”                             

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“If elections changed anything, they you be forbidden.” ― Kurt Tucholsky

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“Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman… Then better be Batman.”

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“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” ― Mark Twain

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“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” ― Bill Gates                                   

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“Complicated problems always have the easiest and most wrong solutions.”                                                                                                                                     

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“If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” ― Irish Proverbs

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“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen

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“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ― Gandhi

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“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne

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“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” ― Asian Proverbs

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“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ― Wayne Dyer

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“Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.” ― Francis Bacon

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“Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love – it makes you human.”

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” ― Audrey Hepburn

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“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” ― George Carlin

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“A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.” ― Henry Ford

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“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” ― Will Rogers

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“Wednesday Wisdom: There is no elevator to success you have to take the stairs.”

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“Weak people want revenge, strong people forgive, and intelligent people ignore.”

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“A smart person knows what to say, a wise person knows whether to say it or not.”                                                                                                                                                   

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“Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.” ― Margaret Bonnano

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“Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.” ― Bernard Sahlins

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“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ― Elbert Hubbard

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“I’m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question.”

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“I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.”

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“On a scale of one to nature valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?”

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“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” ― Maya Angelou

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“I don’t want problems solved for me. I want the fishing rod, not the fish.” ― Yanni

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“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” ― Solomon Schechter Focus

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“Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.” ― Thomas Sowell

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“Since light faster than sound, people may appear bright until you hear them speak.”

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“I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounces at the graduation ceremony.”

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“You know you’re a Mom when you understand why mama bear’s porridge was cold.”                                                                                                                                             

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“You choose to laugh instead of helping your friend… Congrats! You are a bully now!”

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“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ― Steven Wright

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“To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!” ― Edgar Allan Poe

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“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” ― Irish Quote

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“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” ― Woody Allen

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“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason.”

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“A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.” ― BC Forbes

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“Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

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“An optimistic is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” ― Irv Kupcinet

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“Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” ― Charles M. Schulz

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“Beware of him who gives you advice according to his own interest.” ― Hebrew Proverb

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“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ― Franklin Roosevelt

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“I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked!” ― Muhammad Ali

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“The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” ― Proverb

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“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.” ― Benjamin Franklin

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“Laughing is the best medicine, but if you laugh without any reason, you need medicine.”

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“If the words don’t add up, its usually because the truth wasn’t included in the equation.”                                                                                                                                           

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“Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― C.E.M. Joad

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“Life’s a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest.” ― Wilson Mizner

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“Logic with get you from A to B. imagination will take you everywhere.” ― Albert Einstein

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“The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m in a plane at 33,000 feet.” ― Robert Rivers

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“You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.” ― Joel Osteen

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“I am almost never sure about what I want but I am always sure about what I don’t want.”

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“Don’t mess with me. I know karate, judo, jujitsu, kung fu and 20 other dangerous words.”

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“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” ― Confucius

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“Wisdom is always an overmatch for strength.” ― Phil Jackson, (Former Basketball Coach)

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“It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

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“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” ― Gandhi

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“Water’s like me. It’s lazy. Boy, it always looks for the easiest way to do things.” ― Bob Ross

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“I’m not so good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” ― Chandler Bing

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“Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.” ― Frank Moore Colby

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“Yoga is the fountain of youth. You’re only as young as your spine is flexible.” ― Bob Harper

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“Without enthusiasm, your sales talk is about as dead as last year’s turkey.” ― Dale Carnegie

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“You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!” ― Eric Thomas

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“Lower your expectations of earth. This isn’t heaven, so don’t expect it to be.” ― Max Lucado

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“You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire.” ― Emily Ley

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“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” ― Groucho Marx

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“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

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“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” ― Winston S. Churchill

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“Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty.” ― Thomas Sowell

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“If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. (5 by 5 rule)”

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“Two things to make your day better 1. Do not watch the news. 2. Stay off the bathroom scales.”

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“I don’t want to be a genius – I have enough problems just trying to be a man.” ― Albert Camus

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“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” ― Bob Hope

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“Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away.” ― Ann Schade                                                                                                                                 

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“The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth.” ― Ryan Cooper, Difficult People

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“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” ― Mark Twain

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“My smart mouth always gets me in trouble, and if it’s not my mouth, it’s my facial expressions.”                                                                                                                   

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“Never complain about the things your parents could not give you… it was probably all they had.”

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“I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think out of the box… I don’t even know where the box is.”

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“I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.” ― Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), Movie: The Office

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“Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time.” ― Steven Redhead

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“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.” ― Otto von Bismarck

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“A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” ― Lucille Ball

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“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” ― Terry Pratchett

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“A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.” ― Marty Allen

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“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.” ― Bill Murray

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“Some people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.” ― Benjamin Franklin

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“It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.” ― Rose MacAulay

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“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea.” ― Francis Bacon

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“The best way to teach yourself about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.” ― Bill Murray

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“If you ever get caught sleeping at work, just slowly raise your head and say “In Jesus Name I Pray”.”

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“God gave us mouths that close and ears that don’t – that should tell us something.” ― Eugene O Neil

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“I have been putting a lot of thought into it and I just don’t think being an adult is gonna work for me.”

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“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” ― Eckhart Tolle

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“Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.” ― Doug Larsen

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“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou

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“The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” ― Abraham Lincoln

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“Everyone complains about lack of money, but none complain about a lack of brains.” ― Jewish Proverb

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“Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.”

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“Life is a hurdle race, the winner has to cross all the hurdles and still maintain enthusiasm.” ― M.K. Soni

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“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.” ― Richard Bach

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“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” ― Bette Reese

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“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” ― Albert Einstein

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“Strong as they are, friendship often reviving. The friend who never hears from you may grow indifferent.”

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“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

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“I don’t have a funny bone in my body; now I know why my surgeon’s bills are so high.” ― Rory R. Cuphist

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“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” ― Paulo Coelho

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“Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

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“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.” ― Confucius

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“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” ― Oscar Wilde

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“Hello, Monday. May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a Hobby?”

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“I’m just now sure how my child will survive at school without 6 breakfasts, 2 lunches and 367 snacks day.”

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“Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s much more comfortable crying in a Porsche than on a bicycle.”                                                                                           

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“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” ― George Bernard Shaw

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“When someone says “expect the unexpected” slap them in the face and say “you didn’t expect that did you?””

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“Quality is more than important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles.” ― Steve Jobs

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“Photography without seeing would be like eating without tasting.” ― David McKay, Photography Demystified

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“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” ― Abraham Lincoln

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“Humans are the only species, who cut trees, make paper from it and then write on this paper “Save the trees””

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“Those aren’t grey hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head! Happy Birthday!”

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“Life is like a baseball game. When you think a fastball is coming, you gotta be ready to hit the curve.” ― Jaja Q

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“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” ― George Burns (at 100 years)

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“Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right?” ― Wayne Dyer

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“He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.” ― George Bernard Shaw

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“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.” ― Fred Allen

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“There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny.” ― Jon Macks, How to Be Funny

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“To Retirement! It’s nice to get out of the rat race, But you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” ― Gene Perret

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“For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship’s captain complaining about the sea.” ― Enoch Powell

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“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” ― Will Rogers

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“To be taught to read -what is the use of that, if you know not whether what you read is false or true?” ― John Ruskin

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“Simplicity, good taste and grooming are the three fundamentals of good dressing and these do not cost money.”

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“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” ― Chinese Proverb

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“You want to be a millionaire. But your values system says you believe in sleep more than grinding!” ― Eric Thomas

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“If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” ― Leo Burnett

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“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.” ― Bill Vaughan

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“When a woman says “What?” it isn’t because she didn’t hear you. She is giving you a chance to change what you said.”

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“Folks die to easy – they sort of fade away; Make a little error, and give up in dismay.” ― Mabel E. Bailey, Keep Your Grit

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“A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves – we become unstoppable.” ― Ken Fite, The Dash

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“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” ― Winston Churchill

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“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms to full to embrace the present.” ― Jan Glidewell

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“I don’t think God put you on this earth just to make millions of dollars and ignore everything else.” ― Chris Amundsen

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“If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap.” ― Glen Buck

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“Rules for a Happy Wedding: Bride and Groom: 1. Your wife is always right. 2. In the event that she is wrong see rule 1.”                                                                                   

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“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” ― Walt Disney

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“Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do – but you decide you’ll do it tomorrow.” ― Dr. Tom Haggai

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“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” ― Billy Sunday

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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who mater don’t mind.” ― Dr. Seuss

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“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” ― Zig Ziglar

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“Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” ― Cindy Garner

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“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” ― George Burns

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“See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” ― George Harris

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“I have non agenda except to be funny. Neither I nor the writers profess to offer any wordly wisdom.” ― Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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“Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies for instance.” ― John Ruskin

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“The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts.” ― Fulton J. Sheen

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“Enthusiasm is the leaping lightning, not to be measured by the horse-power of the understanding.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Why was the turkey allowed to join the band? Because he had the drumsticks!” ― Hayden Fox, The Try Not To Laugh Challenge

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“My terrified graduate, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” ― Lin-Manuel Miranda

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“Slightly twisted words of wisdom and other sayings: Smiles or laughter are required while reading this book.” ― Michelle Jenkins

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“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” ― Ray Romano

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“New Year’s resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.” ― Charlie Brooker

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“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” ― Bill Copeland

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“Procrastination is an art form that is less desirable than painting a detailed landscape using a three inch wide brush.” ― Byron Pulsifer

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“My father taught me a good lesson: Don’t get to low when things go wrong. And don’t get too high when things are good.” ― Robert Perish

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“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.” ― Laurence J. Peter

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“Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.” ― Mary Kay

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“Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?” ― RAJ Phillips

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“Give man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.”

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“Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, ‘The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind’.” ― Donald Rumsfeld

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“Build on what makes you different from your competition. . . You need to be the red tree in the forest. Nick Maley, The Do or Do Not Outlook

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“We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it.” ― Nick Vujicic

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“The Romans described the hippopotamus as a fire-breathing river horse that sweated blood.” ― Lucy Cooke, The Unexpected Truth About Animals

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“From his neck down a man is worth a couple of dollars a day, from his neck up he is worth anything that his brain can produce.” ― Thomas Edison

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“Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, Make Me Feel Important! Never forget this when working with people.” ― Mary Kay Ash

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“Interest without activity is similar to having a vehicle that is out of gas – it won’t take you anyplace.” ― Eimantas Gabalis, How To Get Smarter

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“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.” ― Maya Angelou

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“Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what’s happening out there. It’s how you take it that counts.” ― Denis Waitley

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“Open your eyes to the beauty around you, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you, and always be true to yourself.”

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“The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come.” ― Nicky Gumbel

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“Humor helps build connections and relationships in ways that few other social interactions can.” ― Gregory Peart, You Can Be Funny and Make People

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“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” ― William James

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“You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.” ― Michael Jordan

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“The moon was full and so close that it seemed we could scoop out some moon ice cream and fill ourselves up on moonbeams.” ― Elif Ekin, Mostly Happy

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“How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” ― Logan Pearsall Smith

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“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

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“In every dream journey there comes a moment when you have to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.” ― Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion

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“Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won’t laugh at you.” ― Jim Rohn

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“The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.” ― Jane Bryant Quinn

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“You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny.” ― Willow Cross, Getting Over It

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“Teacher: Did you do your homework? Student: Did you grade my test? Teacher: I have other students tests to grade. Student: I have other teachers homework to do.”

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“You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb: ‘If and When were planted, and Nothing grew’.” ― Catherine Pulsifer, If and When Were Planted

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“An occasional coffee drinker: I only really like it because it gives me an excuse to eat dessert.” ― Sebastien; Racineux; Chung-Leng Tran, Coffee Isn’t Rocket Science

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“I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave.” ― Lucille Ball

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“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” ― George Carlin

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“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.” ― Dave Barry

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“Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you someone who will make history. Give me someone without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk.” ― J.C. Penny

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“Wise man passes his wife his salary. Wise man gives a surprise card to his wife. Wise man says things like “she is the best investment.” Be like wise man. Happy wife, happy life.”

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“Turning our abilities from stagnate puddles to rushing rivers can happen when we apply ourselves to the task.” ― Warren Philip Gates, Success and the Powerful Introvert

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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” ― Dave Barry

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“One of the most successful ways companies get the consumer’s attention is by presenting the product in a funny or emotional way.” ― Arlene Battishill, Retail Shock Therapy

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“Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot, a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot.” ― John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter

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“Visualize something totally funny or crazy! This will instantly change how you feel because you can’t visualize two things at the same time.” ― Mark Snyder, Developing Good Habits

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“. . . I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It’s the little things that get us.” ― David DeNotaris

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“Do not hold to what you have. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters. Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward.” ― Bruce Lee

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“Laughter is subjective. What’s funny is whatever makes you laugh. No questions, no arguments. If it makes you laugh, it’s funny . . . to you.” ― Steven Kaplan, The Hidden Tools of Comedy

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“The forest was shrinking, but the tress kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because hid handle was made of wood, he was one of them.” ― Turkish Proverb

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“Remember that sometimes people laugh when something is actually funny, but often they laugh when they lack the imagination to understand the situation.” ― John Barrett, SoS-Life Enhancement

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“Each child is as different as you and I. Therefore, I believe there isn’t a one-method-fits-all strategy, no matter how appealing that idea might sound (sorry Gina Ford).” ― Giovanna Fletcher, Happy Mum, Happy Baby

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“Without a plan of action to put how a dream is envisioned to play out is like pouring out of picture of water on the ground and expecting it to stay in on the surface of the ground.” ― Catherine Pulsifer, Living The Dream

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“Years ago there was belief that the world was flat. People were born into that belief and they took it on faith that if they went too far from the shoreline in a boat they would fall off the earth. Columbus sailed on.” ― Les Brown

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“Negative people aren’t concentrating their bad energy to be shared with only you… Mosquitos aren’t going to bite just you; they are going to go after the easiest available blood.” ― Barb Bailey, How to Detach from Negative People

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“Doing nothing is not as easy as it looks. You have to be careful because the idea of doing anything which could easily lead to doing something that could cut into your nothing and that would force me to have to drop everything.” ― Jerry Seinfeld

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“Chasing success is like trying to squeeze a handful of water. The tighter you squeeze, the less water you get. When you chase it, your life becomes the chase, and you become a victim of always wanting more.” ― Wayne W. Dyer, Everyday Wisdom For Success

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“Sixty years ago a gentleman wouldn’t go to work without a hat on; ten years ago they stopped wearing ties. Now you don’t have to go into work to go to work, so who knows what people are wearing…and who cares?!” ― Shaa Wasmund, Stop Talking, Start Doing

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“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will penetrate it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing… only I remain.”

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“Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another like monkeys on a tree. As a result, we always feel as if a sense of order, balance, awareness and concentration elude us, because we are always doing, always acting.” ― Debeena Harris, Mindfulness: Mindfulness For Beginners

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“I am not an advocate of pity parties. They allow you to wallow in misery and drag yourself even further into the depths of woe. But sometimes having a good cry is like changing the oil in your car. You got 3000 miles out of that batch, now you have 3000 miles to go before another.” ― Sandra Bullock Smith, Trading Places

We’re back celebrating our Word of the Day! Because there’s plenty left to reminisce about from the last 10 years.

In Part II of our lexical stroll down memory lane (see Part I, 1999–2008, here), we will be examining word selections from 2009–2018, unearthing  serendipitous synchronicities and offering perspicacious perspectives into notable events and trends of the last decade.

Oops, just kidding, because our first call out is actually from last year. In tribute to all you bibliophages, we asked some of our favorite authors to select words throughout our birthday month in 2019. Like host of CNN’s The Lead and author of  The Outpost and The Hellfire Club Jake Tapper, who chose the first birthday-month word, guddle. 

I picked the word of the day! Thanks, @Dictionarycom! https://t.co/iwOy67rWGi

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) May 1, 2019

And then came bestselling author of Bad Feminist and Hunger Roxane Gay, who chose the seasonally appropriate word blossom the following week. Award-winning author of Speak and Shout (to name a few) Laurie Halse Anderson chose next, picking the word consent on the third Wednesday of the month to raise awareness around consent-based sexual relations.

Check out more author picks as the logophilic festivities continued. Now, on to those serendipitous words!

cormorant

“a greedy person.”
– March 16, 2009

A cormorant is a type of water bird. But, thanks to its perceived voraciousness, the cormorant can represent gluttony and greed in literature, figured as Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost and maligned in Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost.

We featured this word on March 16, 2009, the date when President Obama expressed outrage at the insurance company AIG giving bonuses to its top executives from taxpayer bailout money, and said he would do everything in his power to stop it. “This is a corporation that finds itself in financial distress due to recklessness and greed,” he said.

suspire

“to sigh; utter with long, sighing breaths.”
– May 22, 2010

We’re pretty sure nobody has this date marked on their calendar as one to remember from the last decade. But, May 22, 2010 was the day Nicolaus Copernicus—the 16th century Polish astronomer who proposed the heliocentric theory of our planetary system, which the Catholic Church came to condemn—was reburied as a hero. Ah, sweet vindication.

We imagine Copernicus somewhere in the great beyond suspiring with an eye-roll … “Finally.”

scurrilous

“grossly or obscenely abusive.”
– April 17, 2011

The word scurrilous is most often used to describe remarks that are vulgar and injurious, as in “He was the victim of scurrilous attacks.” It ultimately comes from Latin scurra meaning “buffoon.” Eighteenth-century lexicographer Samuel Johnson made the connection plain in his definition: “using such language as only the licence [sic] of a buffoon can warrant.”

The word is also used to describe demeanor, as in “the scurrilous imposter.” We wonder if Word of the Day fans found it useful back in April 2011 for talking about a certain, shall we say, graphic new series called Game of Thrones, which premiered the day this word was featured. Winter is coming.

terpsichorean

“pertaining to dancing.”
– November 18, 2012

The year 2012 does not have a monopoly on dancing (you can dance if you want to), but the timing of this word selection brings a smile as it was featured right around the time the South Korean superstar Psy had transfixed viewers with his so-called invisible-horse dance in the megahit “Gangnam Style.”

By November of 2012, “Gangnam Style” was well on its way to a billion views on YouTube (a milestone that was hit a month later). Today “Gangnam Style” has more than 3.3 billion views and counting, and we’re still trying to master his equestrian terpsichorean style.

logomachy

“a dispute about or concerning words.”
– May 7, 2013

Although it may feel like heated disputes about words and their meanings are a new phenomenon (hi, Twitter), we assure you, lexical quibbles are as old as English itself, or at least as old as Early Modern English, when this word choice entered the lexicon (first attested in 1569).

2013 was the year that the word twerk bounced into the spotlight—with a little “help” from Miley Cyrus—and sparked many a debate about its origins and staying power. And, of course, that meant twerk was added to Dictionary.com in 2013 as well (along with a few others that tend to spark logomachies, including selfie, mansplain, and cronut).

meliorism

“the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort.”
– May 28, 2014

Rooted in the Latin melior, meaning “better,” meliorism came in the middle of a year defined by Black Lives Matter and its campaign for the equality of black people and against the violence they face.

The movement might be considered a powerful example of meliorism. Whether in protests on the streets or through hashtags on social media, its activism seeks to make the world a better place for the marginalized.

e pluribus unum

“out of many, one.”
– July 4, 2015

This unofficial motto of the US, meaning “out of many, one” in Latin and featured on our Great Seal and currency, dates back to the early days of the country, when the original 13 colonies united into a single nation.

Since then, e pluribus unum has evolved to express an idea of American unity in diversity. That belief rang a lot truer for many people when we featured this expression on Independence Day 2015. Just over a week before, the Supreme Court issued a landmark ruling that same-sex marriage is a legal right from sea to shining sea.

suffrage

“the right to vote, especially in a political election.”
– November 8, 2016

Perhaps you’ve noticed a theme as we’ve moved into the mid-2010s. Politics, identity, and language. Increasingly in the news, culture, and social media environment of the 2010s, Word of the Day has become a lens for many users, a way of looking at or reflecting on the affairs of the day. Like suffrage, which we featured on Election Day 2016, marked by the election of Donald Trump to the White House. What did y’all see in this word choice? Is it any different now?

multitudinous

“existing, occurring, or present in great numbers; very numerous.”
– January 21, 2017

The day after the inauguration of Donald Trump met the Women’s March, where over 200,000 people gathered in the nation’s capital—and many millions more across the US and world—in protests for the rights of women and other oppressed groups.

Considered the largest single-day protest in the US, the Women’s March can truly be described as multitudinous, or “very numerous,” the adjective form of multitude.

Minerva

“a woman of great wisdom.”
– March 8, 2018

Speaking of women’s rights, March 8 is International Women’s Day, an apt occasion for Minerva. This word for a wise woman takes up the mantle of the Roman goddess of wisdom and the arts, Minerva, an analog to Athena of ancient Greece. Minerva is also the namesake of Minerva McGonagall, who became Headmistress of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter universe. 

Minerva = A woman of great wisdom.

Also Minerva = Headmistress of Hogwarts. #InternationalWomensDay #WordOfTheDayhttps://t.co/NEInx3fBqp pic.twitter.com/0USjYOrXei

— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) March 8, 2018

No matter how far the technology has come since the antediluvian dial-up days of 1999, the appetite—the appetence, edacity, the maw—for Word of the Day remains Brobdingnagian.

Plus, there’s all of you. The real birthday present has been hearing from our readers, who are sharing your favorite Word of the Day selections with us on social media. Your reactions to Word of the Day make it truly great.

Thanks for 20 years, and we look forward to many more. We certainly think they’ve made us … all the wiser.

Funny words are fun to say. This is a collection of funny words and their meanings. Drop them into your every day vocabulary and make everyday life a bit more fun. Add your favorite funny word in the comments!

Bumfuzzle — To confuse someone.

Lollygag — To dawdle or be overly slow.

Nudiustertian — The recent past (literally “the day before yesterday”).

Brouhaha — An overexcited response.

Batrachomyomachy — To make a mountain out of a molehill.

Cattywampus — Disorganized, when something is not arranged correctly.

Flibbertigibbet — A flakey, overly talkative person.

Quire — The leaves within a manuscript.

Absquatulate — To suddenly leave.

Billingsgate — Rough language filled with profanity.

Borborygm — A word for the noise your stomach makes when it rumbles.

Gardyloo — A warning shouted before water or waste is thrown from above.

Malarkey — Nonsense.

Ratoon — A sprout in a crop plant.

Comeuppance — A fate or punishment that someone deserves.

Boustrophedon — A kind of ancient writing that is written right to left and left to right in alternate lines.

Bowyang — A strap that holds pants up.

Pandiculation — The way your torso stretches when you are tired or yawning.

Yarborough — A weak hand in contract bridge.

Donnybrook — An uproarious argument.

Anencephalous — Absence of all or part of a brain.

Snickersnee — A large knife.

Sialoquent — Spraying saliva while speaking.

Xertz — To drink or eat quickly or greedily.

Nincompoop — A stupid, useless person.

Canoodle — To cuddle or get close to.

Godwottery — Overelaborate style of speech or gardening.

Gonzo — Far out journalism.

Cantankerous — Overly argumentative or uncooperative.

Widdershins — Counterclockwise.

Wabbit — A computing term related to a type of denial of service attack.

Cockamamie — Implausible.

Goombah — An older, protective friend or associate.

Hobbledehoy — A young, clumsy person.

Hocus-pocus — Nonsense or sleight of hand.

Codswallop — Nonsense.

Lickety-split — ASAP.

Mollycoddle — To treat someone in a pampered manner.

Mugwump — A person who is aloof or truly independent in political matters.

Collop — A slice of roasted meat.

Namby-pamby — A person lacking energy and courage.

Ornery — Crabby.

Pettifogger — An inferior lawyer with dubious practices.

Rigmarole — A long, rambling statement.

Collywobbles — Anxiety and stomach queasiness.

Shenanigan — A mischevious activity.

Skedaddle — Depart quickly.

Smellfungus — A habitual fault-finder.

Snool — To bully someone into submission.

Snollygoster — A shrewd, unprincipled person.

Zoanthropy — A person who believes they have transformed into an animal.

Crapulence — A light weight, someone who gets sick while drinking.

Doozy — Something outstanding, not normal.

Gubbins — The parts of fish that are generally thrown away and not consumed.

Erinaceous — Something that looks like a hedgehog.

Pauciloquent — Someone who doesn’t speak a lot, or is especially brief when they talk.

Fard — Excessively made up.

Fatuous — Silly and pointless.

Abibliophobia — The fear of running out of reading material.

Bibble — Software that converts raw images.

Bloviate — To talk in a lengthy, inflated manner.

Fuddy-duddy — A person who is old-fashioned or fussy.

Bumbershoot — An umbrella.

Impignorate — To pawn something.

Gobbledygook — Language that is so overly-technical and complicated it’s unintelligible.

Troglodyte — A person who lives in a cave.

Vomitory — An entrance or exit in a theater or ampitheater.

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Add your favorite funny word in the comments!

Laughter is good for the soul.

Are you in need of a little laughter? Well, these funny words of wisdom will put a light-hearted spin on some heartfelt issues. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying and hopefully these quotes will put you in good spirits.

A Bit About Funny Words Of Wisdom

Everything in life isn’t a joke, but you can’t always be so uptight. When you need to escape from your emotions, the best thing to do is get some comedic relief. Why? Because it’s impossible to feel hurt and laugh at the same time. No one said that wisdom couldn’t be humorous. And the great thing about funny words of wisdom is that they give you truth and inspiration while also making you smile. It’s a win-win!

What are words of wisdom?

Wisdom is having knowledge and experience that often comes from trial and error. Once you have complete understanding of something, and you know how to persevere through certain challenges, wisdom kicks in. The beautiful thing about it is that you can pass that knowledge on to someone who needs to hear it. Words of wisdom can be just the thing you need to get out of a sticky situation, or to avoid one.

What can we glean from funny words of wisdom ?

Laughter is the best medicine, and sometimes it’s good to know you can smile even when things are rough. After reading funny words of wisdom, you should feel a sense of relief. There’s no other way to convey the fact that things will be okay than to say it with a bit of humor.

A Hilarious List Of Funny Words Of Wisdom

If you need some enlightenment, these quotes are just what you need to get in a better mood.

1. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later.” —Mitch Hedberg

2. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey

3. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” —Mark Twain

4. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres

5. “You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond.” —Eric Thomas

We go through a refinement, then we become the best version of ourselves.

6. “I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” —Maya Angelou

7. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

8. “The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.” —James Jason

9. “The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” —Abraham Lincoln

10. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” —Irish Proverbs

Never do anything bad to others. Do not trap them for failure. If you do, you only do that to yourself. Instead, encourage and be kind to one another.

11. “Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do—but you decide you’ll do it tomorrow.” —Dr. Tom Haggai

12. “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —C.E.M. Joad

13. “If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” —Leo Burnett

14. “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.” —Richard Steele

15. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” —Billy Sunday

16. “People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.” —Benjamin Franklin

17. “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” —Gandhi

Earth has offered us a lot of beautiful things in life. With that, we are to enjoy it and also remain humble. It is never to make us boastful and be greedy.

18. “You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.” —Michael Jordan

19. “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.” —Richard Bach

20. “We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it.” —Nick Vujicic

21. “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” —Abraham Lincoln

22. “Lower your expectations of earth. This isn’t heaven, so don’t expect it to be.” —Max Lucado

Earth is a beautiful place but not a place of perfection. It has a lot of rocky roads and narrow roads. So, there will be challenges and trials along the way.

23. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” —Proverb

24. “Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away.” —Ann Schade

25. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” —George Carlin

26. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

27. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

Some people do not just use their common sense. However, it is very important to have.

28. “The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it.”

29. “When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.” —Bernard Bailey

30. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” —Carl Sandburg

31. “Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.” —Frank Moore Colby

32. “There are two sources of unhappiness in life. One is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” —Cassey Stolrich

33. “If the grass is greener on the other side it’s probably getting better care.” —Earl Nightingale

34. “Nothing pains some people more than having to think.” —Martin Luther King Jr.

35. “When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.” —Dale Carnegie

36. “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” —Mother Teresa

If the Lord has that trials for you, He will sustain and give you enough strength. You just have to trust Him.

37. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” —Og Mandino

38. “Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” —Will Rogers

39. “He has a heart of gold – only harder.” —Adolphe Menjou

40. “All of us, whether we use reading glasses or not, read through lenses.” —Marcus J. Borg

41. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” —Mark Twain

42. “Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are.” —Tom Seeley

43. “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” —Elbert Hubbard

44. “Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.” —Ted Robbins

Time will keep moving even if you do not take a move. It does not stop.

45. “You may plan to write a book someday, but you are living a book every day.” —Wilferd Peterson

46. “Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?” —Ray Kroc

47. “For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth, you let men look into your mind.” —Bruce Barton

Everything you say is just a reflection of who you are on the inside.

48. “It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.” —Josh Billings

49. “Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” —Anthony Eden

50. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” —Confucius

51. “Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” —Will Rogers

52. “To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!” —Edgar Allan Poe

Live your life to the fullest.

53. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” —Albert Einstein

54. “Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? —Wayne Dyer

55. “The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.”

Asking question never make us little. Do not be afraid to ask. You will always win if you do.

56. “Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love – it makes you human.”

57. “To be ignorant of one’s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.” —Amos Bronson Alcott

58. “Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.”

59. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” ―Isaac Asimov

60. “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” —Pauline Thomason

Marriage is one of the most important and critical choices to make in life. Make a good one!

61. “You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.” -Joel Osteen 

This quote is so true. There’s not much you can learn about an eagle from a turkey; the two are completely different. Not only that, but think about turkey are known for. They usually only serve the purpose of being eaten. There’s not much going for them, and they’re not really going anywhere other than to the Thanksgiving table. This is a funny way of saying watch the company you keep. You want to be around people who are soaring high in life and exuding excellence!

62. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” -Bette Reese 

These funny words of wisdom are spot on! Bette’s quote is the perfect analogy for how even “small” people can have big impact. I’m sure you’ve been bitten several times but a mosquito, and it didn’t matter if it was 50 times smaller, it still caused you agony. In other words, don’t let your size, age, or social class make you feel inferior. You can do whatever you put your mind to, no matter how big the obstacle.

63. “No one has ever become poor by giving.”-Anne Frank

Anne Franks was definitely using sarcasm when she said this phrase, but she was right. When you give, there’s something magnetic about it, and it comes back to you. If anything, people have lost more money over the years by spending recklessly than giving to others. Therefore, if you can share what you have, then do so; it’s better to give than to receive.

64. “I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave.”-Lucille Ball 

If anyone can give funny words of wisdom, it’s Lucille Ball! What she said in this quote is so profound because she’s acknowledging her strength. Sometimes when you step out and do things out of your comfort zone, it’s not about talent. It takes courage to take that next step, or go on an unknown adventure. And in Lucille’s case, she had to be brave enough to face the world and showcase her talent in a humorous way. If you’ve ever seen her show, then you would completely understand her point. Paragraph with details about place, event, or product.

65. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”-Bill Gates 

​We’ve all seen it before, in real life and movies; the nerds get picked on while the jocks get all the glory. But if you know anything about Bill Gates, then you realize he’s not the nerd anyone should have picked on. Although he said this quote in a joking manner, he makes a very valuable point. You should never mistreat or judge someone based off their current situation; whether it be their looks, race, social class, or gender. You have no idea what potential lies inside of someone and who they’ll become. Even if they don’t become a famous billionaire that changes the world, everyone deserved decency and respect.

66. “The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth.” -Ryan Cooper 

Wow, this quote is so powerful. A lot of times people use humor to disguise the truth, whether it be to hide their pain, their embarrassment, or their past. However, this can be damaging in the long run. The important thing to remember is that it’s okay to be authentic and embrace all facets of yourself and your life. Not only that, there’s nothing wrong with laughing at yourself. You don’t have to take life so seriously, even if you haven’t had a good one. Chances are there is someone else out there who’s experienced the same thing and can completely relate to you.

67. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” -Chili Davis 

This is another one of those funny words of wisdom that hits the nail on the head. It’s inevitable that we all grow old and there’s no way around that. However, growing up is all on you. The irony of this quote is funny because you can look at it in a couple of different ways. Do you know someone who is an older person, but they’re still immature? Yes, they might be up in age, but they’re still childish and have a lot more to learn about life; those types of people aren’t very pleasant. On the flipside, this quote is saying it’s okay to be a kid at heart. Having a youthful spirit doesn’t mean you have to act in a selfish and immature manner, but you live life to the fullest. Growing old doesn’t equate to getting boring and grumpy. You can laugh and enjoy life no matter how old you are.

68. “Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”-Paulo Coelho 

​Funny words of wisdom might be humorous, but they’re truthful. Paulo finds a way to sum up life in an incredible way. He’s basically saying that even when things seem wrong, there’s something going right, even if you don’t see it. And his clock metaphor is genius. It doesn’t matter if a watch has stopped working, it still has something to offer. It still contributes value, although it’s not performing at its full potential. The same thing goes for you and the world around you. There’s a silver lining in everything; you just have to look for it.

69. “Some people seem to go through life standing at the complaint counter.”-Fred Propp Jr

Everyone knows a person that complains all the time, and it seems nothing is ever good enough. You might even find yourself a the complaint counter a few times a day as well. And if that’s the case, try a different method of handling your situation. You don’t want to be the person who’s constantly bickering about something negative; you waste a lot of time and energy doing that. Not to mention, your days are spoiled because you spend your time fussing instead of accepting the things you can’t change. Don’t let small things distract you from what’s really important in life.Paragraph with details about place, event, or product.

70. “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” -Franklin Roosevelt

These funny words of wisdom from Franklin Roosevelt provide the perfect analogy for how to get through hard times. Yes, his phrase will make you chuckle, but he dropped a serious piece of advice here. People think once they’ve come to the end of their rope, that’s it. But there’s a solution to everything if you’re willing to push through it. This quote is all about finding the strength to hold on even when things look like they’re falling apart.

Did these funny words of wisdom brighten your day?

Did you enjoy reading these funny words of wisdom? We understand that life can sometimes get you down, so we hope these quotes were able to make you laugh. Everyone needs to comedic relief from time to time, especially when navigating the woes of life.

If you liked reading these funny words of wisdom, share this post of your social media and leave us a quote below!

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