We love clever jokes here at LaffGaff and they don’t come any more ingenious than these clever wordplay jokes. We’re sure you’ll enjoy them too; after all, a good sense of humor is a sign you’re in good shape psychologically!
30 Best Play On Word Jokes
Here is a great collection of really clever wordplay jokes. Enjoy!
Armageddon
I was helping my son with his homework and he asked me what Armageddon was. He got upset when I told him I didn’t know.
I thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world, is it?”
Norwegian Navy
The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships.
So they can scan da navy in.
Big Red Mark
My son asked me to take him to the hospital because he had a big red mark on his face.
I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”
Brake Fluid
I’ve got a friend who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.
English Language
The English language is pretty strange and confusing.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.
Cheap Skate
This guy offered me a go on his ice rink for $1.
I thought “What a cheap skate.”
Lost Luggage
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Money In The Bank
I’m addicted to having money in the bank.
I really do suffer from withdrawals.
Restaurant Manager
I got sacked from my job as restaurant manager today after one of my staff lost three fingers in an electric food mixer.
Apparently I failed to do a proper whisk assessment.
Assistant Manager
I’ve just landed a job as an assistant typist, helping with the capital letters.
It’s shift work.
Chest Hair
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
Alphabet Soup
You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for…
Times new ramen!
Something Cuban
I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Blank Screen
My sister turned off the TV on me whilst I was watching it today.
After a few moments of staring at the blank screen, I thought to myself, “That’s not on.”
6 Cans Of Sprite
I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite.
I ended up picking 7 Up.
Angry Girlfriend
My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine.
So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she’s sangria then ever.
Solar Eclipse
I tried using a colander to view the solar eclipse yesterday.
I think I’ve strained my eyes.
Full Dictaphone
I have a nagging, paranoid feeling that my dictaphone is close to full capacity.
Maybe I’m just reading too much into it.
Learning Braille
I asked my Dad what it was like learning Braille, but he didn’t want to tell me.
I didn’t realize it was such a touchy subject.
History Of Palindromes
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
Now we call him Dr Awkward.
Tree Planting
Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting.
To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”
Hypnotist
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.
I’m easily lead.
Time Machine
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
At The Bus Stop
A guy is walking down the street one day when he spots a man with no arms or legs waiting at a bus stop.
He shouts out to him, “Hey buddy, how are you getting on?”
Crashing App
WhatsApp keeps crashing on my phone and won’t run properly so I’ve downloaded something called “The Bugs Bunny” to fix it.
It’s a WhatsApp Doc.
David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff calls his agent and demands, “I want everyone to call me Hoff from now on.”
The agent replies, “Sure, no hassle.”
4D Printer
How do you turn a 3D printer into a 4D printer?
Just give it time.
Star Wars Sweets
I’m really disappointed with the new Haribo Star Wars sweets collection.
They’re all chewy.
Half Indian
I’ve got a friend who’s half Indian.
Ian.
Store Robbery
I was at the Apple store today when it got robbed.
I guess that makes me an iWitness.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed this collection of clever wordplay jokes, be sure to check out the rest of the LaffGaff website for lots more funny jokes, including these:
English Word Jokes With Explanations: A Humorous Approach to Language Learning
7 min
Created: March 21st, 2023Last updated: April 12th, 2023
Contents
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye, matey! See, this is one of our favorite wordplay jokes in English. And we will tell you much more than just this one since we believe the language-studying process shouldn’t be boring.
Non-native speakers often limit themselves to humor for fear of saying something wrong. But the point is that jokes are a great way to boost your language level and self-confidence. This article provides tips and types of tricky humor in English to make the most out of it. So, please, make yourself comfortable and forget about tedious rules because today we are just going to have fun.
Why Play-On-Words Jokes Are A Great Way To Improve Your English
The main reason why people give up their language-learning goals is simple – they become bored. Sometimes, it is not enough to learn the rules. And in such cases, studying through funny word jokes seems like the perfect way to enhance your fluency level. Here are only a few reasons that explain the benefits of wordplay humor:
- A fun way to expand vocabulary. Most play-on-words jokes are based on idioms, puns, and other forms of figurative language. Hence, the more gags you use in daily conversations or hear from your interlocutors, the more new words and phrases you remember.
- The main way to understand English humor. Do you know how many “knock-knock” jokes are out there? Well, nobody knows that, but we are confident that there are millions of them. They are one of the whales that maintain English comedy and are primarily based on word plays. Hence, learning such jokes is a key to understanding natives and their sense of humor.
- Major confidence booster. A good joke is a great ice-breaker – you can use it to start a conversation, smooth out an awkward silence, or defuse a tense situation. And when you hear other people laughing at your jokes, your confidence goes above and beyond.
And we will not even start with other advantages of funny play-on-words jokes, like boosting memory or enhancing comprehension and pronunciation skills. We want you to see them all by yourself. So, without further ado, let’s move on to the next topic.
7
Types of Wordplay Jokes
Since there are many kinds of word jokes, it is essential to understand the difference between them all. Therefore, here are the most common types of wordplay jokes you can hear from native speakers:
- Puns. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a pun is a joke that exploits the multiple meanings of a word or phrase for humorous effect.
- Spoonerisms. It is a type of wordplay where two words’ initial sounds or letters are switched to create a new phrase.
- Double entendres. It is a phrase or statement with a double interpretation, often with one meaning being suggestive or inappropriate.
- Tom Swifty. It is a type of pun where an adverb is used to modify a quote or statement humorously.
Now you know a bit more about variations of the wordplay jokes. And it means it’s time to finally have a good laugh and check out our favorite puns, spoonerisms, and double entendres.
Some think understanding humor in a non-native language is the final step to fluency. And we can’t argue with that! Therefore, here are some famous gags to make you giggle and help you with your studying at the same time.
- Why is the six afraid of the seven? Because 7 8 9.
If you don’t get this one, try to read it aloud. This way, you will see that the poor six is afraid because it doesn’t want to be eaten by her hungry neighbor (seven ate nine).
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
It is another excellent pun based on the two meanings of the word “dressing” (like the condiment and the process of putting on clothes).
- My kids like chilled grease sandwiches I make for them.
It is an example of spoonerism – the initial letters of the words grilled cheese were switched, and instead of a tasty sandwich, poor kids got, well, a funny joke.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
Here is another excellent tip for making a guru and telling the best wordplay jokes. The simpler and sillier it sounds, the better the effect will be. Like this pun – it is so bad that it is actually very good.
- Why do the Promova tutors wear sunglasses to their lessons? Because their students are very bright.
One more tip for you – jokes don’t have to be rude or offensive. Occasionally, they can be silly little compliments to make someone smile. Like this one – the point is in the double meaning of the word bright (literal one – bright like the sun, and the second one – bright as intelligent).
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Last but not least, a joke on our list is also based on double meanings (apparently, these are our favorites). In this case, the word dough has two meanings – literal, as a substance for making bread, and slang as a description of slang for money.
Funny Word Play Examples
Alright, we know that you want more than that. Therefore, here is another list of hilarious wordplay jokes. But this time, we didn’t add any captions or explanations – try to practice and understand the point yourself.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
- I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but finding good players is hard.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
And that’s it! Congratulations, you are probably now fluent in English if you got those jokes right. And if not – don’t worry because most of them are confusing. Instead, write your favorite wordplay jokes in the comments section. You know that we are always up for a good laugh.
Mastering Humor and Fluency with Promova
As much as English jokes might be fun for native speakers, they can confuse language learners. Hence, reaching some proficiency level to joke and understand puns and spoonerisms is essential. And if you are struggling with finding the best studying option, say no more. Here, at Promova, we know exactly what to offer you.
But before that, what is Promova? It is an international language-learning platform available for students from all over the world. After visiting the official website, you can choose from several options to get started.
- Personal and group lessons with experienced tutors. Our team of professionals is always ready to help you achieve your studying goals. You can start your 1-to-1 lessons or join a group of up to six people from different countries to have more fun.
- Convenient mobile application. If you prefer studying alone, you can do so from the comfort of your bed. Just install the Promova application from the App Store or Google Play and access unique lessons suitable for your needs.
- Conversation Club. What is the best way to practice wordplay jokes? Only telling them to other people. And if you don’t have English speakers in your surroundings, we invite you to our free Conversation Club! Here you can discuss exciting topics, meet new friends, and simply have fun.
And, of course, we couldn’t forget about the Promova Blog! Here you will find dozens of thrilling articles that will help you learn valuable information, tips, popular language-learning trends, and much more. And guess what? It is also entirely free! So please, don’t waste another minute – visit the official Promova website now and find the studying plan of your dream.
Conclusion
Okay, we got the last one for you. Why did the pregnant woman start screaming, “Isn’t, can’t, I’m” in the middle of the street? Because she was having contractions. And that’s it for today! We hope that this article helps you broaden your humor horizons because jokes are the perfect way to feel fluent and confident when speaking a foreign language. And don’t forget – studying English doesn’t have to be tedious. Together, we can make it fun.
FAQ
What are homophone jokes?
Homophone wordplay jokes are the ones created by using homophones – words that spell differently but sound the same. For example, what do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea (no e- d r). Homophone jokes are very popular among people of different ages because they can have both innocent and inappropriate contexts.
Are there any differences between puns and double entendres?
Yes, there is a difference. Even though both types of wordplay jokes are based on double meanings, they differ in context. Puns are just simple, silly gags that have no sexual undertone. Double entendres, on the other hand, also have two meanings, but one interpretation is usually risqué.
Is it always a good time to say wordplay jokes?
Unfortunately, it is not. Many people don’t like such jokes and even find them annoying. Therefore, you need to be sure you have the right audience before telling your puns. Also, there are many situations where any joke might be considered inappropriate. You need to be careful and analyze the circumstances to avoid any misunderstandings.
What are some common tips for memorizing wordplay jokes?
Some common tips for memorizing wordplay jokes include practicing them beforehand, writing them down for later reference, and using mnemonic devices to help remember them. Additionally, it’s helpful to think about the structure of the joke and how the words play off each other, which can aid in recall.
Wordplay jokes are often derided as «lowest form of wit.» But they’re also the favorite form of humor for luminaries like Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Oscar Wilde, and even Shakespeare. How can an «art» form so groan-worthy be beloved by some many great brains? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke’s meaning. Reading a wordplay joke — even a really, really dumb one — is like exercise for your brain.
Here are 40 of our favorite wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it’ll take your entire brain to make sense of them, so maybe show these jokes a little respect. For more bad jokes (that are actually really great), check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.
He’d herd it through the grapevine!
For more kid-approved jokes, check out these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.
I got 48,500 matches!
For more on matches (of the internet variety, that is), check out these 15 Things You Don’t Know about Google.
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
And to find out if you’re feline fine or not, This is Why You’re a Dog or Cat Person.
Because he was outstanding in his field!
And for more sidesplitting humor, read up the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.
Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!
And for more child-borne hooey, 40 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For.
Buy a deck of cards!
And for more laughs, check out The 50 Most Amazing Jokes From Comedy Legends.
But my plans were foiled!
And for more groaners, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs.
They’re just not working!
A waist of time!
For wrist wear that isn’t a waste, though, peek these 7 Must-Have New Vintage-Inspired Watches.
So I can tell people, «I visit the Jim several times a day!»
One says, «Spit out your gum,» and the other says, «Choo choo choo!»
And for more hilarity, don’t miss the 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.
So why does every bank have so many branches?
But her aim is steadily improving!
For more matrimonial humor, check out The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!
For more reasons to love wine, check out these 80 Amazing Health Benefits of Wine.
The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!
The bartender says, «Why the long face?»
You’ll see a butterfly!
Microchips!
And for actually helpful computer advice, check out The Best Computer Desktop Backgrounds for Maximizing Your Productivity.
I couldn’t be more delighted!
He’s all right now!
It came out of the green!
Because everyone thought he was a boar!
Next, check out The 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny.
They all said, ouch!
Now I sleep like a log!
To sleep like a log in real life, check out these 70 Tips For Your Best Sleep Ever.
You’re under a vest!
But then I lost interest!
And for more laughs, read The Funniest Joke About Every U.S. State.
He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!
And for some seriously silly pet pampering advice, Here’s Why You Should Talk to Your Dog Like It’s a Baby.
So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
I think that’s a big missed steak!
Because they’re always stuffed!
«You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!»
It would totally make my day!
Ruff!
They will be sentenced next Friday!
But when I got home, all the signs were there!
And for more silly signs, read the 30 Funniest Jokes On Road Warning Signs.
An envelope!
The student answered, «Who, me?»
Just to shoot the Bries!
It was Abridged Too Far!
Want more painfully corny jokes? Check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Wordplay is fun.
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.
«I really need a new fucking boat,» I thought to myself.
My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, «How can I stop my addiction?»
«Whatever means necessary,» she replied.
«No it doesn’t,» I said.
Has anyone read the Indian wordplay book?
It’s written in punjabi
What does a baker says after cracking a wordplay joke?
Bun intended
There was a competition for the best wordplay joke
Hundreds of entries were sent in, but only 10 made it to the final round. However, none of them won.
No pun in ten did.
Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.
The first one says, «If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word «rod» in a phallic sense, would you find it *fishy*?»
«Oh,» says the second one, «I think I can *tackle* it.»
«So… *net-net*, you’d take the *bait*?»
«Oh-ho! *Hook, line, and sinker*!»
«I don’t …
I made a list of the top 10 most popular wordplay jokes, to see if any of them actually made me laugh
No pun in ten did
My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes
I texted her «Oh Pun the door»
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Tattoos and Wordplay
A man gets the words «I Love You» tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife, who tells him «stop trying to put words in my mouth.»
Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain
The Punning Of The Bulls
You’re in a wordplay contest. The topic is «water»
What is your wet pun of choice?
Did you mean to use wordplay there?
Nope unintended.
Most people don’t enjoy puns. Wordplay almost feels like an emotional knife stab to them. But at least they appreciate my humour when I get home
It just goes to show you, the only good pun is a dad pun
My friend asked me if I purposely used wordplay in my sentences.
I answered »Nope. Unintended.»
I submitted 10 wordplays to a pun contest hoping one would win best quip…
But no pun in ten did.
Badly formed wordplay is utter torture
Truly, you could say it is pun-ishment.
What do you call a wordplay that’s so good it gets told everywhere, even in foreign country’s?
a pundemic
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How to write a funny joke:
Now, everyone always says timing is important; we’ll get to that, the timing is usually in the punchline.
First you need a premise — it can be simple. A ball. That’s the focus.
Some of you are already chuckling because your immature sense of humor has made its own connections with the …
What do you call a battle of wordplay?
Pun-fu fighting
Why did the Chinese couple take their newborn back to the hospital?
He was Caucasian, and they knew two Wongs don’t make a white.
.
.
.
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone racism in any way, form or fashion. It’s just wordplay, folks. Apologies to anyone too sensitive for my humor.
What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres?
PUNisher
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Do all black people have a problem with slavery?
Or just mine?
Edit: wow, front page of reddit! For those commenting on the distasteful nature of these joke, remind yourself.. It’s a joke. The joke is based on wordplay, quick delivery, and is in no way designed to be racist. Slavery was never something to laugh about.
Edit 2: Holy g…
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I took this art class and the teacher said, “draw anything.”
So, of course, your boy likes wordplay, so I decided to draw water.
I call the teacher over to look at my artwork that I finished and she said, “You didn’t draw anything.”
I said “Yes I did.”
She said, “No you didn’t.”
I said “Um… last time I checked, water was clear, s…
In a bar, there’s a guy hitting on a cute Banker girl
The guy brags about all his riches and possessions, but he got shot down by the girl immediately.
The girl said, «Leave me a loan!»
The guy noticed the wordplay, he praised the girl. «That’s a pretty clever pun! …But not as pretty as you»
The girl, now irritated, said. «I’m no…
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there’s really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I’ve gotta ask….
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.
Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.
Dad Jokes
Dad jokes aren’t an affliction that happens to dads, they’re a way of life. No one should ever be ashamed of #dadjokes. Instead, if you are a father, you should be worried if you don’t know enough good dad jokes.
You know that old saying, “Where there’s a will there’s a way?” That’s a pretty …
You should kill me for this but…
Did you see the engraving under the mineral sculpture of the famous punner’s head? It said, «Wordplay Ore Bust»
The trouble with translating jokes is…
Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!
(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)
Yesterday my girlfriend asked me if i had any fetishes
I told her I’m into wordplay.
Gene Therapy
The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.
This is the place for wordplay, right?
Never make puns during a Scrabble match.
Your opponent may not like your wordplay.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Laughing is the greatest therapy. With that in mind, check out the top 101 word play jokes.
101. What cheese would you use to lure a bear out of a cave? Camembert.
100. Have you ever tried sex while camping? It’s in tents.
99. Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a
sheep in a vineyard? He’d herd it through the grapevine!
98. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? There’s no
point.
97. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It
just lets out a little wine!
96. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily
improving.
95. Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet
“the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first
thing every morning.
94. This gravity joke is getting a bit old, but I fall for
it every time.
93. Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.
They’re just not working!
92. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of
cards.
91. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A Juan
on Juan.
90. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
#89 – 80. Word Play Jokes
89. I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in
our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
88. My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate the use of
trapdoors in his shows. But I think it’s just a stage he’s going through.
87. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because
they’re always stuffed!
86. Why are barns so noisy? Because all the cows have horns.
85. Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be
a pop star.
84. A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the
end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un,
dos…” Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.
83. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up
literally everything.
82. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big
missed steak!
81. Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets
turned on.
80. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.
#79 – 70. Word Play Jokes
79. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
78. Apparently taking a day off is not something you should
do when you work for a calendar company.
77. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!
76. How do trees get online? They log in.
75. A patient sobs to his doctor: “I feel like a pair of
curtains!” – Doctor: “Well pull yourself together man!”
74. I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched
it. So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
73. I Googled “how to start a wildfire”. I got
48,500 matches.
72. Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? –
Answer: Ireland’s. – Every year it’s Dublin.
71. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they
cantaloupe.
70. I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card. She’s not ill or anything, but she could definitely get better.
#69 – 60. Word Play Jokes
69. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from
his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there!
68. What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the
closet? “Supplies!”
67. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he
was outstanding in his field.
66. Daughter: Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas,
please?“ Mom: No honey, you will be
getting turkey, like every Christmas!“
65. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a
great fall.
64. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and
bigger…And then it hit me.
63. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with
jumper cables around his neck? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start
anything.”
62. Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and
leg? He’s all right now!
61. How do fish get high? Seaweed.
60. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party. But my plans were foiled!
#59 – 50. Word Play Jokes
59. A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in
his stomach. His condition is now stable.
58. Never date cross eyed people. They might be seeing
somebody on the side!
57. If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day
was well-spent?
56. Why was the chef arrested? – He was beating eggs every
day.
55. I got very lonely lately, so I bought some shares. –
It’s much nicer having some company.
54. I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.” So I can
tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”
53. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he
was outstanding in his field!
52. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every
bank have so many branches?
51. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert. Because
they’re always stuffed.
50. People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.” I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”
#49 – 40. Word Play Jokes
49. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex
sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a
pause at the end of its clause!
48. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch
attached to it? A waist of time.
47. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
46. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex
sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a
pause at the end of its clause.
45. Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more
delighted!
44. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter
in it? An envelope!
43. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
42. 37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma
went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday!
41. What do computers snack on? Microchips.
40. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time!
#39 – 30. Word Play Jokes
39. Three guys walk into a bar. They all said, ouch!
38. What’s the tallest building in the world? The library,
cause it has the most stories.
37. How come oysters never donate to charity? Because
they’re shellfish.
36. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from
his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
35. If April showers bring May flowers, what comes next in
June? Pilgrims.
34. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of
cards!
33. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone
thought he was a boar.
32. Two underpants meet for a beer. – “Why are you so
brown?” asks one. – “Don’t ask. It was a really crappy week.”
31. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank
goodness it was a soft drink.
30. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
#29 – 20. Word Play Jokes
29. What’s so great about being a hitman? They all kill it.
28. A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I
believe I’m a deck of cards!” The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in
the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”
27. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the
long face?”
26. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily
improving!
25. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every
bank have so many branches?
24. I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig. The poem may
not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!
23. Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese
shop. Just to shoot the Bries!
22. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too young to smoke.
21. An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.
The student answered, “Who, me?”
20. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar!
#19 – 10. Word Play Jokes
19. I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came
out of the green!
18. I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally
make my day!
17. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up.
16. When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just
chuck some butter from your window. You’ll see a butterfly!
15. What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
Wipes his ass.
14. Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross. But
those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
13. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It
just lets out a little wine.
12. I went to the bank the other day and asked the teller to
check my balance. The bitch pushed me, but I couldn’t really blame her.
11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention
in school!
10. I once worked in a bank…But then I lost interest!
#9 – 1. Word Play Jokes
9. Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm
and left leg? He’s all right now.
8. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State
Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
7. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I
guess my plans were foiled.
6. What car does Jesus drive? A Christler.
5. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with
jumper cables? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”
4. My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church.
3. What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of
sandpaper? Ruff!
2. I read a book about World War II that was only four pages
long. It was Abridged Too Far!
1.What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One
says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”
Ideas for the top 101 word play jokes were taken from the following sources. [1]short funny – Best Puns[2]Thought Catalog – 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud[3]Best Life – 40 Dumb Wordplay Joke That Will Crack You Up[4]Laugh Factory – WORD PLAY JOKES[5]NeoGAF – Word play jokes – let’s tell some!
Playful Word Play Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess…
The teacher tells the class they’re going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. «If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you’ll get a gold star for the day,» the teacher explains. «Tommy, what’d you do for recess?» she asks the first student. «Well,» Tommy begins, «I played in the sand box with Suzy!» «Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word ‘sand’ I’ll give you a gold star.» So Tommy goes up to the board, spells ‘sand’ and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, «Suzy, what’d you do for recess today?» So Suzy answers, «like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together.» «Okay,» the teacher thinks, «if you can come up to the board and spell ‘box’ I’ll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells ‘box’ and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, «Tyrone, what’d you do for recess today?» «Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn’t let me,» Tyrone answers. «Oh no!» says the teacher, «That’s terrible! Do you know what that’s called? That’s called ‘racial discrimination.’ If you can come up to the board and spell ‘racial discrimination’ I’ll give you a gold star.»
A guy is sitting in a bar when a great looking woman comes over to him.
He’s really excited, but it immediately comes clear that she is a h**…. She says, «Hey, handsome. Want to play a game? Here is how it works. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for three hundred dollars, as long as you can say it in three words.»
The guy thinks for a minute. Then he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, lays three hundred dollar bills on the bar, and says, «Paint my house.»
Dramatic performance
I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words.
One day a dad gets a call and is told his son has been using dirty language.
When he gets home that night, he sits down with his son.
«Son,» he says, «You know this isn’t acceptable behavior. Now I want you to tell me all the dirty words you know.»
His son says «Well Dad, I know the S word, I know the B word, and I know the M word.»
His dad asks «What’s the S word?»
His son says «s**….»
The father is taken aback but pushes on. He asks «OK, what’s the B word?»
His son says «Bad.»
His father is starting to feel relieved and a faint smile is playing at his lips. With a kind, fatherly smile he asks «And what’s the M word?»
His son says «MotherwhoringSpicnigger.»
Last day for your taxes
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy’s t**… and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s t**…, the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, «I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? «
No,» the woman replied, «I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.»
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there’s a will … I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around … because they don’t know I’m using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing … after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ … I put ‘DOCTOR’.
If I am reading this graph correctly … I’d be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don’t belong to an organized political party. I’m a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)
You’re never too old to learn …something s**….
So I went to a production about puns today…
…it was basically just a play, on words.
What’s the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff’s Notes?
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff’s notes are a word on plays
Play on Words
I really want to come up with a play on words but I don’t know how it will do in front of an audience.
Did you hear? Broadway is making a theatrical production on puns!
It’s going to be a *huge* play on words!
On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking…
*»Let’s play a game»* — he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*»To make it interesting»* — he continues — *»if I answer incorrectly to your question, I’ll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5.»*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*»What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?»*
The woman hands him $5. Now it’s her turn.
*»What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?»*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*»So, what is the answer?»*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**
You can explore word play examples reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean word play vocab dad jokes. There are also word play puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My Grandfather’s Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
A group of actors performed an on stage reading of the Oxford dictionary.
The audience wasn’t too enthralled with a play on words.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer
were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, «What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!»
The doctor chimed in, «I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!»
The priest said, «Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.»
He said, «Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?»
The green-keeper replied, «Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.»
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, «That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.»
The doctor said, «Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.»
The engineer said, «Why can’t they play at night?»
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he’s a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with ‘th’ at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
The joke wasn’t there because it was busy parking the car
I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch…
Of course I yelled at him.. He’s not allowed on the couch.
(Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)
Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play.
You don’t do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor.
Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical?
If not, you really should. It’s a great play on words.
I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal.
He said it was a play on words.
Have you seen the new Broadway production about the dictionary?
It’s a great play on words.
Silly Grandad
Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks «Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?» Grandad replies «I’ve got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called i**… and thats how you make babys.» ten minutes later John returns «Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you»
My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself…
So my daughter was playing hopscotch, and recited the words «*Step on a crack, and break your mother’s back»
And then my wife’s back bent over, I then shouted at her to stop playing, but she continued and then recited «*Step on a line and break your father’s spine*»
And then the neighbor next door shouted in agony with his back bent.
Romeo & Juliet.doc…
…is a play on Word.
Playing Scrabble is like talking to women…
You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.
«Hey, you know where there’s a theater around here?»
The man responds «Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?»
The blonde answers «Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called ‘Puns’, apparently is based around words, whatever that means.»
«Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?»
«That he really likes ‘Puns’: a funny play on words»
The President-Elect has recently begun learning how to play bridge with the help of master bridge players. it turns out, the President-Elect’s plays are far superior to those of his peers. In other words…
Trump’s trumps trump Trump’s trumps’ trumps.
«Dad, how did you come up with my brother’s name, ‘Legab’?»
«Is it a variation of ‘Gabriel’ or something?»
«Ah… no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word».
«Oh… ok. Thanks, Dad!»
«You’re welcome, Lana».
Once I performed a stage show that was nothing but puns.
The critics panned it as merely being a «play on words».
My school did a performance last year called «The Dictionary»
Turns out it was just a play on words.
Ten reasons why hockey is better than women
1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.
2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.
3: Puck is not a dirty word.
4: You don’t have to play in the neutral zone.
5: It is possible to score a few times a night.
6: When you «pull the goalie,» nobody gets pregnant.
7: Missing teeth doesn’t stop you from scoring.
8: You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.
9: The Zamboni cleans up your mess.
10: Periods last twenty minutes!
I was playing scrabble and my dad played the word ‘stneve’
Needless to say, it was an unexpected turn of events.
There was a Broadway performance about puns…
But don’t get too excited. It was just a play on words.
Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I’m going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster’s English Dictionary
It’s going to be a play on words
Donald Trump really loves word games.
If you listen to his speech patterns, it’s clear that he’s playing Mad Libs.
I was invited to Broadway show called Vocabulary and I had to go.
I never pass up a good play on words.
2 spies in an interrogation room
The interrogator sat in front of them and asked for names.
Spy A says to the other
«Whatever you do, dont say a word»
A few seconds later Spy B said
«Fdugyop»
The Spy A looked at Spy B and said
«what did just say?»
Spy B replied
«Oh when we played scrabble you said ‘*thats not a word*’ and NOW its a word»
I’m writing a script for a show called «Pun».
Pretty much, it’s going to be a big Play on words.
I want to write a show called «Pun». I’ll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.
It’ll be a play on words.
I’m planning to put on a theatrical performance about puns.
I like producing word plays.
So apparently Pun was a movie from 1998.
Wait, scratch that, it’s actually a play on words.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar
No joke…
I wrote a stage show about puns.
It’s a play on words.
So I saw a Broadway show about Dictionaries the other night.
I guess one could call it a Play on words .
In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled «The Pun»
The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.
When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: «Why is your script titled ‘The Pun’ and why is the floor covered with phrases?»
«Because my script is a play on words!»
A nights work…
A guy meets a s**… worker in a bar.
She says, «Hey, tonight is your lucky night. I’ve got a very special game for us to play. Tonight I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.»
The guy replies, «Hey, why not?, you’re on» So he proceeds to put £300 on the bar from his wallet, and says to the s**… worker slowly. «Paint…my….house.»
My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I’m really looking forward to it.
I love a play on words.
Told my wive 10 plays on words to see how many make her laugh.
No pun in ten did.
I’m writing a piece for the theatre.
It’s called «Dictionary: A Play on Words»
My wife said «Why don’t you write a book instead of s**… word play jokes?»
I said, «That’s a novel idea.»
I wrote a script about the dictionary for my local theatre
It’s a play on words.
I have achieved my life’s goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns.
It’s a play on words.
I once did a theater performance about writing puns….
It was a play on words
Romeo & Juliet.docx
It’s a play on Word
A priest and an atheist are playing golf.
The priest is okay, but the atheist is s**…. He keeps missing his shots. Every time he misses a shot, he says ‘Damn, missed!’ The priest got more and more agitated at the use of the word ‘damn’, and eventually snapped. He said, ‘Do not use that word or God himself will strike you down!’ There’s an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. A booming voice rings out across the golf course, striking fear into the golfers, and says:
‘Damn, missed!’
I’ve been challenged to make a play on words with the word for a whole bunch of peaches in a basket.
Try as I might though, I just can’t punnet.
My grandpa was very competitive…
My grandpa was so competitive with me and would always try to win any game we played. Baseball. Soccer. Even who could eat the most corn dogs.
But I’ll never forget his last words to me as he was about to pass away, he look at me wide eyes and with his last breath he said…
… staring contest, go!
You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do?
Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.
First word in title should be «your»
I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases…
I guess it was a ‘play on words’
I once wrote an entire theater production based on puns.
It was a play on words.
My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?
A play on words.
My girlfriend just saw a musical about etymology
She said it was a word play
Have you heard about the new Broadway act based on the dictionary?
It’s a play on words.
I told Alexa to play pet sounds on repeat to keep my dog company while I was out of the house today.
Long story short, my shih-tzu knows the words to «God Only Knows» now.
Load More
Jokes that employ a play on words, also known as puns, are sometimes considered too simple and even childish. And while everyone is entitled to their own opinion and taste, let me remind you that some of the world’s greatest wordsmiths loved creating puns – including Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, and John Lennon, just to name a few.
Making puns may seem easy but, in fact, requires a great feeling and understanding of language. The same is also necessary to get the meaning of a pun. Even if sometimes a pun falls into ‘dad jokes’ territory, there is nothing shameful about that. But if the listener has to make a huge leap to see the funny part, or it doesn’t make sense at all, sorry to say, but that’s a bad pun.
Interestingly, puns are the most difficult jokes to translate into other languages. A play on words that sounds funny in one language might never make sense in another one. Now you can imagine how difficult it was for translators all over the world to translate Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, both of which are studded with puns and word play.
In this article, we have collected some great jokes based on word play. Tell us the funniest puns you have ever heard in the comments, so we can share a laugh.
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
Report
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Report
Coffee beans have successful marriages because they keep each other grounded.
Report
You do realize that vampires aren’t real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Report
What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
Report
Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut.
Report
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest!
Report
I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it.
So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
Report
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
Report
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.
Report
What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?
A waist of time!
Report
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Report
Why are horses better than other animals?
Because they’re very stable.
Report
The person who invented the door knock won the Nobel Prize.
Report
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Report
Money doesn’t grow on trees, right?
So why does every bank have so many branches?
Report
You’re becoming a vegetarian?
I think that’s a big missed steak!
Report
Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert?
Because they’re always stuffed!
Report
Why did the introvert become an astronaut?
She needed her space.
Report
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket.
Report
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
Report
If you hear it from the horse’s mouth, you’re listening to a neigh-sayer.
Report
The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
Report
I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends!
Report
How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards!
Report
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says, «Spit out your gum,» and the other says, «Choo choo choo!»
Report
Somebody stole all my lamps.
I couldn’t be more delighted!
Report
What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper?
Ruff!
Report
37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.
They will be sentenced next Friday!
Report
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope!
Report
Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.
Just to shoot the Bries!
Report
Why did Shakespeare only write using pens? Pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B.
Report
When does a dad joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Report
Why didn’t the man get a brain transplant?
Because he changed his mind.
Report
It’s hard to know which bug to vote for, but I’m choosing the lesser of two weevils.
Report
Spiders are great Internet consultants. They’re always finding bugs in the web.
Report
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Report
When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
Report
An angry bird landed on a doorknob. Then it flew off the handle.
Report
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
Report
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
Report
Local man killed by falling piano. It will be a low key funeral.
Report
I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.
It came out of the green!
Report
Did you hear about the pessimist who hates German sausage?
He always fears the Wurst.
Report
Simba was walking so slowly I told him to Mufasa.
Report
Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard?
He’d herd it through the grapevine!
Report
Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.
They’re just not working!
Report
I call toilets «the Jim» instead of «the John.»
So I can tell people, «I visit the Jim several times a day!»
Report
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
Report
What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?
Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!
Report
I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig.
The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!
Report
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, «Why the long face?»
Report
What do computers snack on?
Microchips!
Report
Why did the pig leave the party early?
Because everyone thought he was a boar!
Report
I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace.
Now I sleep like a log!
Report
I once worked in a bank…
But then I lost interest!
Report
A friend’s dog swallowed a few coins.
He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!
Report
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there!
Report
I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long.
It was Abridged Too Far!
Report
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Report
What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
Report
My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up. But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
Report
It’s not a dad bod—it’s a father figure!
Report
Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in.
Report
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash.
Report
Why are books about anti-gravity so great?
Because they’re impossible to put down.
Report
Why shouldn’t you spell ‘part’ backwards?
Because it’s a trap.
Report
What happened to the man who accidentally swallowed food coloring?
He dyed a little inside.
Report
My wife said my wordplay is average. That’s mean.
Report
On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it.
Report
It’s no fun telling jokes to cattle; they’ve herd it all.
Report
Don’t trust a Great Dane to tell you the truth — all they have are tall tails.
Report
When a new hive is done, bees have a house-swarming party.
Report
Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de-tail.
Report
I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused, saying that the steaks were too high.
Report
Why was the clumsy farmer a great DJ?
Because he was always dropping beets.
Report
Why did the tea break up with her older coffee boyfriend?
He was so cold and bitter.
Report
Why do pirates want to sing soprano?
So they can live in the high C’s.
Report
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.
Report
I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… it was just collecting dust.
Report
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Report
I had a job tying sausages together, but I couldn’t make ends meet.
Report
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
Report
A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are sketchy.
Report
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
Report
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
Report
I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
Report
I found a rock which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
Report
I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but my plans were foiled.
Report
Some clown opened the door for me this morning. That was a nice jester.
Report
I put a new freezer next to the refrigerator, now they’re just chilling.
Report
I used to build stairs for a living. Business was up and down.
Report
I Googled «how to start a wildfire».
I got 48,500 matches!
Report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!
Report
I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party.
But my plans were foiled!
Report
My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is steadily improving!
Report
When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window.
You’ll see a butterfly!
Report
Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg?
He’s all right now!
Report
Three guys walk into a bar.
They all said, ouch!
Report
What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables?
«You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!»
Report
I’d love to know how the Earth rotates.
It would totally make my day!
Report
An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.
The student answered, «Who, me?»
Report
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Report
What do you call a nocturnal insect that knows just the right word?
Le moth juste.
Report
What kept the polecat reporter busy all day? Ferreting out details.
Report
What’s a cicada’s favorite beverage?
Well, it’s gotta be seasonally brood.
Report
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two.
Report
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
Report
What did the man say after being overcharged for velcro?
What a rip off!
Report
Why should you never try to eat a clock?
Because it’s very time-consuming.
Report
I can’t tell if this fish is lying, she’s being so koi.
Report
It’s raining cats and dogs, so don’t step in a poodle!
Report
Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour.
Report
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Report
Why are people who carry bees considered good-looking?
Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
Report
Why do male ants float while female ants sink?
They’re buoy-ant.
Report
It’s amazing how eagles catch their prey; they must be really talon-ted.
Report
I don’t like this pizza very much. There’s mushroom for improvement.
Report
Why can’t you lie to the x-ray tech?
They can see right through you.
Report
I used to disapprove of organ transplants, but now I’ve had a change of heart.
Report
I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Report
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
Report
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Report
I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.
Report
I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall. You couldn’t make it up!
Report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
Report
My Grandfather’s Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
My wife: Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?
Me: That’s …..a novel idea.
I’m planning to put on a theatrical performance about puns.
I like producing word plays.
Word Play jokes are the best and here’s why
Why
My wife just told me, “I’m sick of your word play jokes. Why don’t you write a book instead?”
Me: That’s …..a novel idea.
The Vocabulary Theater is now open!
I heard they have a clever word play!
Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play.
You don’t do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor.
To be frank, when you know your word play will work…
the pun is sure
What’s the best language for Indian word plays?
Punjabi
Russia passed a new law today
Anyone caught in word play will be severely PUNished
Which American colonists really loved word play?
Punsylvanians
What do they say about a guy who takes credit for other’s witty word play?
He has puns of steal.
help me make this into a joke and make it funny.
A nun once told me that sometimes I should suck some dicks to be successful. I told her: sorry. I can never suck, sis.
I want to utilise the suck, sis vs success word play. Any ideas.
I wrote a script for a Broadway production titled «dictionary»…
It’s a word play