Funny word and pictures

Funny Words starting with A:

1. Abibliophobia: The fear of running out of reading materials to read.

Sentence: I have so many reading materials in my house, anyone would think that I have Abibliophobia or something!

1. Abozzo: A rough sketch of a drawing or a draft poem.

Sentence: I’m almost finished with my abozzo of the Eiffel tower.

1. Ama: Japanese diver who dives for pearls or food.
2.  

Sentence: Amas have been diving for pearls in the Japan region for many years. 

1. Araba: A carriage or coach used in Turkey.

Sentence: I’m taking the araba through the city today.

1. Argle-bargle:  A lot of commotion or a row happening.

Sentence: What’s all this argie-bargie about?

1. Aye-aye: A type of lemur which can be found in Madagascar. 

Sentence: The aye-ayes are such cute little creatures.

Starting with B:

1. Bamboozled: To trick or confuse someone. 

Sentence: I have been bamboozled again by you. 

1. Blubber: This word has two meanings: It can mean to cry very loudly or could refer to excess body fat.

Blubber Sentence: Please, stop your blubbering.

1. Brouhaha: An event which involves great excitement or loud confusion.

Brouhaha in a sentence: Last night’s event was such a brouhaha and nothing was achieved.

1. Bumbershoot: A Bumbershoot is an old-fashioned word for an umbrella.

Bumbershoot in a sentence: Don’t forget your Bumbershoot, dear.

1. Bumfuzzle: This refers to being confused.

Bumfuzzle in a Sentence: I’m completely bumfuzzled!

Starting with C:

1. Cantankerous: Someone who is very grumpy.

Sentence: Our neighbour is such a Cantankerous.

1. Catawampus: Something positioned diagonally. 

Sentence: To get to the school, you need to walk catawampus across that park over there.

1. Collywobbles (kol-ee-wob-uh lz): This is the feeling when you have a stomach ache or when you feel really nervous or scared.

Collywobbles in a sentence: This place gives me the collywobbles, let’s go!

Hilarious Words Starting with D:

1. Dingy: Something that is dark and dull.

Sentence: This house looks a little dingy to me. 

1. Donnybrook: This refers to a fight, riot or a big brawl.

Donnybrook in a sentence: A Donnybrook broke out last night when the police when to arrest the leader of the operation.

1. Doozy: Something that is really great.

Sentence: I’m having a doozy of a time at this party.

1. Dweeb: This is not a nice word to call someone. It means that you think the person is boring and uninteresting.

Sentence: No-one wants to be a dweeb. 

Funny Words That Start With E: 

1. Egad: Used as an expression of shock or amazement.

Sentence: Egad! I never thought of that! 

1. Eep: Another expression of surprise or fear.

Sentence: Eep! That was scary!

1. Epos: Could refer to an epic poem or something that is epic.  

Sentence: That poem was just epos!

Starting with F:

1. Filibuster: Somone who refusing to give up the floor in a debate to prevent a vote.

Sentence: Someone get that silly filibuster out of here now!

1. Flibbertigibbet (flib·ber·ti·gib·bet): Is a word used to describe someone who talks a lot or is very gossipy.

Flibbertigibbet in a sentence: Imagine sitting on a 12-hour flight with a flibbertigibbet next to you.

1. Flabbergasted: To be surprised or shocked by something.

Sentence: I’m just flabbergasted to hear that.

1. Formication: The feeling that ants are crawling on your skin.

Sentence: Her constant shivering could be described as a formication.

1. Fuddy-duddy: Someone who is a mild-mannered person.

Sentence: He can be such a fuddy-duddy sometimes.

Starting with G:

1. Gaberlunzie: A beggar that walks around town to town.

Sentence: He didn’t really have a profession, some may even call him a gaberlunzie.

1. Gardyloo (gahr-dee-loo): This is a disgusting one. It refers to the cry people use to shout when they would throw their slops or droppings out of the window.

Gardyloo in a Sentence: Watch out, Gardyloo coming!

1. Gazump: This word really has a specific meaning. It means to refuse to sell your house to someone who you previously agreed to sell your house to.

Sentence: I’m so happy my offer to buy the house next door was accepted, but what if I get gazumped?

1. Gobbledygook: Speaking Nonsense.

Sentence: Why do you always have to speak such Gobbledygook?

1. Goombah: An older friend who protects you.

Sentence: Jamie didn’t have many friends, but was glad that his grandpa could be his protector – His Goombah.

1. Gubbins: These are objects of very little value like rubbish or litter.

Gubbins in a sentence: No one’s going to buy your gubbins.

Starting with H:

1. Hairball: A ball of hair that a cat normally chokes out.

Sentence: Cats are cute, but I hate it when they throw-up hairballs everywhere.

1. Hocus-pocus: A trick or magical spell.

Sentence: What’s all this hocus-pocus about?

1. Hokey: Something is is silly or old-fashioned.

Sentence: Now that was hokey old movie to watch!

1. Hootenanny: A country music party or get-together.

Sentence: I’m going to an old-fashioned Hootenanny on Saturday, would you like to come?

1. Heckler: Someone who interrupts a public performance with offensive comments.

Sentence: Those footballers are always having to deal with hecklers at their matches. 

Starting with I:

1. Itty-Bitty: Something that is really small or tiny.

Sentence: That ladybird is so itty-bitty.

1.  Ickle: Something that is small and normally cute

Sentence: Look at that ickle baby dolphin!

1. izzat:  This relates to your personal respect and dignity.

Sentence: I’m afraid of saying that in public, as it’ll be against my izzat. 

Starting with J:

1. Jabberwock: Something that is complete nonsense or gibberish

Sentence: Everything he just said was complete Jabberwock.

1. Jazzetry: The reading of poetry which is accompanied by jazz. 

Sentence: I love reading poems, but I’ve never tried jazzetry.

1. Jink: The sudden change in direction.

Sentence: He jinked out of the way, as the ball came towards him.

Fun Words Starting with K:

1. Kagu: An blueish-greyish type of bird which is now an endangered species. 

Sentence: The rare Kagu can be found in the Pacific island of New Caledonia.

1. Kaka: A breed of parrot that can be found in New-Zealand.

Sentence: The kaka parrots are so cool!

1. Kebbie: A Scottish term relating to a walking stick with a hooked end.

Sentence: Pass the old man his keebie.

1. Kibble: Ground meal or gains used as animal feed. 

Sentence: The chickens love this new brand of kibble.

1. Kraken: A mythical sea creature.

Sentence: Just like the loch ness monster, the Kraken is a myth. 

Starting with L:

1. La-di-da: If you described someone as “La-di-da”, you are suggesting that they are upper-class or behaving unnaturally only to impress other people.

La-di-da in a sentence: She thinks she is all La-di-da, but I know what she’s really like.

1. Lol: Short for laughing out loud. Mosting used on social media and in text messages. 

Sentence: Lol – That’s so funny!

1. Lollygagger: Someone who walks around with no aim or goal.

Sentence: They spent their summer lying about, eating and general lollygagging.

1. Lickety-split: When something moves really fast.

Sentence: He was out of the door lickety-split.

Starting with M:

1. Malarkey: An informal word for talking about meaningless things or nonsense.

Malarkey in a sentence: This is all malarkey, I tell ya!

1. Moist: Something that is slightly wet.

Sentence: This blanket seems a little moist to sit on. 

1. Mollycoddle: To be extra nice to someone or to overprotect them.

Sentence: Sometimes what a child needs is some tough love and not mollycoddling all the time.

Starting with N:

1. Nacket: A light lunch or snack.

Sentence: I’m going to have a quick nacket before dinner. 

1. Namby-pamby: Someone who is weak, with no backbone.

Sentence: I don’t want to be some namby-pamby little girl!

1. Napoo: The end of something. A term mostly used by soldiers.

Sentence: Napooh! That’s the end of that story.

1. Niff: Something that smells bad.

Sentence: It’s got that horrible fishy niff. 

1. Nincompoop: This refers to someone who is not intelligent or a fool.

Nincompoop sentence: You act like such a nincompoop sometimes.

Starting with O:

1. Obi: A sash worn around the waist of a kimono.

Sentence: That pink obi would look nice with this kimono. 

1. Oozy: Something that is slimy and wet

Sentence: That table is dripping in ooze. 

1. Oompah: The sound of deep brass instruments in a band.

Sentence: The oompah music in the background really set the tone.

Starting with P:

1. Panjandrum: Someone who thinks that they are superior to others.

Sentence: She’s no queen, but she saw acts like a panjandrum.

1. Patroon: The captain of a ship

Sentence: Look sharp, the patroon will be here soon.

1. Pettifogger: A pettifogger is someone who deals with small or petty businesses. It can also be to argue over small, unimportant matters.

Pettifogger in a sentence: Why do you look up to such a pettifogger?

Starting with Q:

1. Quab: Something that is incomplete or immature

Sentence: That baby bird is still just a quab.

1. Quark: Scientific term used to describe atoms which are made up of smaller particles. 

Sentence: Understanding quarks of fundamental to the world of physics.

1. Quoz: Something that is strange.

Sentence: That’s so quoz! No-one wants to eat cheese and ice-cream together!

Silly Words Starting with R:

1. Ratoon: This refers to the small root that sprouts from a plant, especially during the springtime.

Sentence: I heard somewhere that ratooned plants grow taller and healthier.

1. Rugrat: Refers to a young child or toddler

Sentences: Those rugrats don’t know what’s coming to them!

1. Ruddy: The term sometimes can be used to suggest good health in a person.

Sentence: That ruddy-faced girl was someone I never seen before. 

Starting with S:

1. Sialoquent: Somone who splits while talking.

Sentence: My old science teacher was Sialoquent. I was always scared to go near him!

1. Skedaddle: To ask some to leave or run away very quickly

Skedaddle in a sentence: This is no place to play your silly games, now skedaddle before I get you!

1. Skullduggery Refers to dodgy dealings and some no good business.

Sentence: We need to put a stop to all this skullduggery around this town.

1. Shenanigan: This is when someone is causing a lot of mischiefs or playing tricks.

Shenanigans in a sentence: What’re all the shenanigans about?

1. Snollygoster (snol·ly·gos·ter): This refers to an unethical politician who is guided by personal advantage.

Snollygoster in a sentence: I don’t want any help from a snollygoster.

1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: Something that is really good. And the longest word in the English dictionary.

Sentence: Your cake is simply supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Starting with T:

1. Tatterdemalion:  A poor child wearing rags.

Sentence: I grew up like a tatterdemalion on the streets and now I’m a billionaire!

1. Taradiddle (tar-uh-did-l): this is a small lie or when someone is speaking nonsense.

Taradiddle in a sentence: That’s such taradiddle –  I don’t trust you at all!

1. Thingamajig. A thing for which you have forgotten the name of. 

Sentence: Can you pass that thingamajig over?

1. Troglodyte: Someone that lives in a cave.

Sentence: All my life I’ve been living like Troglodyte cooped up in this house!

Starting with U:

1. Uber: Something that is really great.

Sentence: That’s a really uber-looking coat you got there!

1. Ube: Type of yam which is coloured purple

Sentence: You can make really nice curry using ube.  

1. Upsy-daisy: Lifting up a small child. 

Sentence: Upsy daisy! It’s time for your nap. 

1. Urubu: A blank vulture found in South American.

Sentence: The Urubu is a rare species of bird found in America.

Starting with V:

1. Vamp: To make something brand-new.

Sentence:  Let’s vamp-up your car. 

1. Vexed: Something that is really annoying or frustrating. 

Sentence: This puzzle has really got me vexed. 

1. veepstakes: A competition to find a party-s vice president. 

Sentence: Have you prepared for the upcoming veepstakes?

Starting with W: 

1. Wabbit: A Scottish word referring to feeling exhausted or a little unwell.

Sentence: I’m feeling wabbit today.

1. Widdershins (with -er-shinz): This refers to going in the opposite direction or going down the wrong path.

Widdershins in a sentence: Only widdershins going down that road.

Starting with X:

All words beginning with X are funny ones!

1. Xanthoderm: A person with yellowish skin. 

Sentence:  This make-up makes my skin look a little Xanthoderm. 

1. Xebec: A small sailing-ship with square sails.

Sentence: Let’s take a ride on my new Xebec. 

Starting with Y:

1. Yabby: Refers to any Australian crayfishes used for food. 

Sentence: These yabbies are going to taste delicious. 

1. Yachty: Relates to yachts.

Sentence: I have a yachty-looking T-shirt. 

1. Yaff: A type of bark.

Sentence: The dog yaffed at the mailman.

1. Yawny: When you yawn or when something is boring

Sentence: That movie was a little yawny. 

1. Yahoo:  A rube, a country bumpkin.

Sentence: What’s that yahoo doing here!

1. Yerk: Pull or push something with a sudden movement.

Sentence; She yerked at the rope, as they tried to pull the bucket up from the well.

1. yips: When a golfer misses an easy putt due to nervousness. 

Sentence: Looks like he has the yips today. 

Funniest Words starting with Z:

1. Zaftig: Having a full-rounded figure.

Sentence:  Her zaftig figure was admired by all. 

1. Zappy: Something that is lively and energetic.

Sentence: She looks very zappy today. 

1. Zazzy:  Something that is shiny and flashy

Sentence: Jenny brought herself a new zazzy handbag to match her shoes.

1. Zeze: A string instrument from South Africa. 

Sentence: The sound of the zeze is unique in South Africa.

1. Zizz: To take a short nap or sleep.

Sentence: James likes to take a 2-hour zizz every afternoon at 2 pm.

1. Zoanthropy (zoh-an-thruh-pee): This is when someone believes that they are an animal.

Zoanthropy in a sentence:  I think she suffers from a mild case of Zoanthropy.

Wonderful Funny Quotes. Our collection of witty funny pictures of funny saying which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases. Need a good laugh? Check out these 75 funny quotes and sayings about life to smile on your face. Repeat or copy these quotes out to your friends to make them laugh!

You can find laughter, pics of funny, humor, and wisdom in these. You may discover fascinating of them to inspirational words of encouragement to lift you up. “Seek the counsel of him who makes you weep; and not of him who makes you laugh.” looking for funny lines and jokes to share your best friends and which one to be good and laugh without to aggravate them to say like short funny quotes and humorous lines. You can take your “I’m okay” hat off now. It’s just me. Fall apart. I’m not going anywhere.

Funny quotes of the day Herpes, we cut the burrito in half That way I could have my piece and she could have herpes. My friend Hector just told me jokes and I laughed so hard I almost cheat my pants.

Funny Quotes and Sayings

1. “I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.”

2. “Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernnels. My cremation is going to be epic!”

3. “I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room…but not too humid because, you know.. my hair.”

4. “You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now im scared!”

5. Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly “You can see me?”

6. “The strongest people make time to help others, even if they are struggling with their own problems.”

7. “One minute you’re really young and cool… and the next, you’re getting all excited about a new vacuum.”

8. “If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart…”

9. “Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”

10. “That moment when you realize it wasn’t a fart”

11. “I am tremendously not sorry that my sense of humor has offended your utter lack of it.”

12. “A person that truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.” – Funny Quotes and Sayings

13. “Netflix and tuck myself in by 9”

14. “I have an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other. I’m also deaf in one ear.”

15. “The only advantage you have over me is you can kiss my ass and I can’t”

16. “Je kunt better een nacht je slapen over wat je wilt doen, dan wakker liggen over wat je gedaan hebt ( I’m getting better at the end of the day, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. )”

17. “I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say “your password is incorrect.”

18. “The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.””

19. “Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.”

20. “Don’t judge me cause I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

21. “I’ve found puddles deeper than you.”

22. “My scars tell a story… They are reminders of when life tried to break me, but failed.”

23. “I wanted to go jogging but proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked run when no one is chasing them” so there’s that.”

24. “If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say ‘Now you’re super mad!’ if they laugh marry them.”

Short Funny Quotes About Life

Share the best funny quotes collection by famous authors and comedians. Join the fun with our Funny Quote of the Day on the web, Facebook and blogs. Easy to read the list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. Perfect for sharing your best friends and family. Our collection of short funny quotes which are short, straight to your head and mind-blowing. 

25. “My dream job would be the karma delivery service.”

26. “Real girls are never perfect and perfect girls are never real.”

27. “If it requires fake smiling I probably won’t come”

28. “Trust me, you can dance.”

29. “I was startled by a loud fart. I was fartled.”

30. “Somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flashed through my mind but I just smiled and said I used to.” – Funny Quotes and Sayings

31. “You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.”

32. “When you’re so sarcastic people aren’t sure whether you’re joking or whether you’re just crazy.”

33. “No, I checked my receipt. I didn’t buy any of your bullsh*t.”

34. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

35. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you… blocked & deleted. You may now… … Kiss my ass”

36. “Keep talking… I’m diagnosing you”

37. “The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

38. “Some people are like clouds when they disappear its a brighter day.”

39. “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…”

40. “You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.”

41. “The rock looking more like the pebble…”

42. “I just stepped on a cornflakes. Now, I am officially a cereal killer.”

43. “I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.”

44. “He said, there was no spark between us anymore. So I tasered him!!! (I’ll ask him again, when he wakes up)”

45. “I have mixed drinks about feelings”

46. “’Dammit I’m mad’ is ‘Dammit I’m mad’ spelled backwards.”

47. “A negative person sees the glass of water half empty. A positive person sees it half full. A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey and says cheers.”

48. “Saying “Oh yeah, I remember” when you really don’t.”

49. “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.”

50. “Other people: Gosh darn it Me: God fucking fuck ass shit damn cockwaffles”

51. “Wrestling: a sport where people without pants fight for a belt.”

52. “Please forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

53. “I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.”

54. “Going back to your ex is like reheating your McDonald’s fries…”

55. “Revenge is not in my plans… you’ll fuck yourself on your own.”

56. “Some people are just like trees… They take forever to grow up!”

57. “During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?”

58. “That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day and you’re not sure if you should put on normal clothes or pyjamas.”

59. “The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.””

60. “Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.”

61. “An apple a day will keep anyone away, if thrown hard enough”

62. “Pin this potato in every board for no reason”

63. “H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K. Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge!!!”

64. “I don’t like to brag but today I washed and dried a load of clothes on the same day without forgetting I had stuff in the washer… It’s like I’m some kind of domestic ninja…”

65. “School is just an endless cycle of “I just need to make it through this week” every week”

66. “I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out!”

67. “It’s better to look back on life and say: “I can’t believe I did that.” Than to look back and say: “I wish I did that.””

68. “Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless.”

69. “Sometimes you might feel like no one’s there for you, but you know who’s always there for you? Laundry. Laundry will always be there for you.”

70. “I don’t care how old I am I’m going on the bouncy castle”

71. “I may look like I’m doing nothing… But in my head I’m quite busy.”

72. “I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things & get really excited”

73. “I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief”

74. “Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.”

75. “My diet plan: Make all of my best friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look!”

Funny pictures Quotes & Images

Looking for the best short Funny pictures Quotes, memes and Sayings about Life, Friends, Love & Family with Images. Inspirational funny quotes from movies for Facebook & Tumblr.  funny quotes Pic’s pictures can be used on other websites.

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Funny Images With Quotes, Messages and Sayings

Hilarious Funny Memes: Looking for the best funny words and funny memes to Can anything brighten a day quite like a funny cat and dogs? These hilarious funny quotes are guaranteed to make you crack a smile. Awesome Memes That’ll Bring A Smile On Your Face funny memes lol ROFL. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on funniest moment.

Hilarious Funny Memes

1. “Chicago has the best pizza ever” the pizza:”

2. “Right after I mow dandelion pops up the next day”

3. “Add a beehive to all NBA playoff games and ratings will skyrocket.”

4. “Wood chopping board wipe clean only, wipe up spills immediately to avoid staining. Do not soak, do not use as a chopping board.”

5. “Me that one toothpaste tube with almost no toothpaste left the other toothpaste tubes”

6. “Me to my husband during the 4 seconds I’m not on my phone what are you doing on your phone?”

7. “Here’s a picture from several years ago when, in an airport, I saw a guy trying to wear cowboy boots under skinny jeans”

8. “Pretty sure my spirit animal is this picnic bear that drinks.”

9. “The awkward moment when you’re shopping with your nanna and you see her put a can of WD-40 in the cart.”

10. “This sign at my local bar has not aged well.”

11. “I’m starting to think some people don’t really need the gas, they just don’t want you to have it.”

12. “Gas actually tastes way better during a shortage”

13. “The look your mom gives you when you embarrass her in public and she can’t kill you yet”

14. “The graphic designer:”

15. “There’s more fish in the sea” yea but they’re all married diver spots fish wearing a gold wedding ring in Australia trib.al/hq43gly”

16. “When my toddler tells me to go to timeout sounds good to me”

17. “Husband: *staring out the window for a long time. Me: “What are you looking at?” Husband: *eats more popcorn and points. Alright, this is getting weird, chip.”

18. “Spotted at local gas station. “It’s for my lawnmower. I swear”

19. “Man trapped in Budweiser warehouse resorts to drinking his own urine and that tells you everything you need to know about Budweiser.”

20. “People still lining up to get gas.”

21. “When I’ve been put on hold with customer service for 20 mins and they disconnect my call oh y’all choosing violence today huh?!”

22. “Me when my husband is telling me about the upcoming NFL season. Pretend to care, pretend to care”

23. “Damn mfs really out here tryna steal gas”

24. “Finally a scented candle that perfectly captures a parent’s life.”

25. “Some of you are acting real, “Toiletpaperish” these days.”

26. “Me five minutes after my kids wake up. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

27. “Pretty sure this is the first time a guy with a lifted truck was able to say, “It’s to big to fit inside.””

28. “Congratulations! You have seen 100000 gas memes and unlocked diamond gas can”

29. “Oh no there’s gas shortage”

30. “This whole hoarding gas and storing it in unauthorized containers business really needs to stop”

31. “When it’s your lucky day, so you stop to buy a lotto ticket.”

32. “The awkward moment when they are out of pamphlets and now you’re pretty sure everyone is going to die. This pamphlet could you’re your life.”

33. “Nobody: Absolutely nobody karens from florida:”

34. “Americans when they learn that there might be an electricity shortage.”

35. “White claw tastes like you’re drinking tv static while someone screams the name of a fruit from another room.”

36. “The dominos pizza tracker says Alfred is quality checking my order but Alfred also made it. Isn’t this a conflict of interest”

37. “I don’t know who needs to hear this but women can be brilliant and accomplished and still post sexy pictures of themselves. Take all the time you need to process this information.”

38. “How long until some genius bundles all the streaming services and just reinvents cable?”

39. “My husband just referred to best buy as “Amazon’s showroom” and it’s the most accurate thing he’s ever said”

40. “Scientist: Dick bug Other Scientist: No Scientist: Penis beetle Other Scientist: no Scientist: Cock roach Other Scientist: Ok sure”

41. “Pleased to announce my wife and I finally completed a six hour negotiation to pick out the movie. she’s going to look at her phone to while I fall asleep on the couch.”

42. “ “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Well it just so happens I love not working”

43. “CDC couldn’t have give us a countdown? I look like shit”

44. “A special place in hell? For me? That’s actually really thoughtful”

45. “[First day as a doctor] Patient: I got stabbed!!! Me: Is there a family history of being stabbed?”

46. “Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.”

47. “I’m not accusing my wife of picking a fight with me, but she wrote “Toothpaste” on our grocery list without any specific details and we all know how this story ends.”

48. “Current financial status: Half tank of gas and 3 sheets of plywood”

49. “I believe dropping the masks is part of a larger conspiracy theory. Their ultimate goal is to get us to start wearing bras, makeup and real pants again. I’m not falling for it.”

50. “Everyone: Once I’m vaccinated and it’s safe I’m going to have the horniest summer of all time CDC: It’s safe Everyone: Now hold on”

51. “Please normalize wanting to dance with somebody and please normalize wanting to feel the heat with somebody. It’s okay to want to dance with somebody who loves you.”

52. “I’d probably be naked more if I didn’t need pockets.”

53. “I saw your text I’m just waiting until I have enough serotonin to reply”

54. “Therapist: How do you communicate to your husband that you are upset with him? Me: I watch a show called “Deadly Women” on the murder channel at maximum volume while he is less than 3 feet away from me. Therapist: No.”

55. “Surgeon: We’re only allowing family right now olive garden waitstaff: Yeah that’s why we’re here”

Probably no other language has as
many strange, quirky and funny words as English.  This is good news for those who like a laugh because there are so many possibilities for a joke.

• Quirky Logic
• The problem with
  Speaking English
• More Funny Words
• Words to Slip into
  Conversation
• Misnomers
• Funny English Jokes
• Will and Guy
  Select Our Top Ten Quirky Words

Funny English Words with Quirky Logic

• There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.
• Have you noticed that
  there is neither apple nor
  pine in pineapple.
• A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
• And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t
  fing, grocers don’t
  groce and hammers don’t
  ham?
• You cannot buy boots in Boots nor virgins in Virgin. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.
• Quicksand only works slowly
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t
  the plural of booth beeth?
• One goose, 2
  geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
• If teachers taught, why didn’t
  preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• See Examples of Engrish humour

More Funny English Words

If you stop and think about certain English words, you cannot help
wondering about the quirky logic of their derivation.

• There is no parlour in in parlous. (Parlous — dangerous, hazardous)
• Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren’tsweet, are meat.
• When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.

The Problem with Speaking English

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
   us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Outtakes of Funny English Words

Following a query from Moray, further research by Will indicates these
statements may not tell the whole truth.

• French fries do not originate in France.

Fries may well have originated in 19th century France. However, as with
so many «inventions» / «discoveries» others make claims as well. Belgium has
been mentioned in this regard. Between the wars the Americans began to eat
fried potato and for some reason referred to them as French fries.
Will the truth ever be known?

• English muffins weren’t
  invented in England.

As for English muffins: it appears that in the USA muffins are known as
‘English’ muffins. Incidentally, Guy wonders if this naming phenomenon is
more widespread, because in Wales we have what English speakers call ‘Welsh
cakes’, but indigenous old-timer call them ‘Round cakes’.

Back to the English muffins, I refer you to this excerpt from Wikipedia:
An old English nursery rhyme, «The Muffin Man», describes a door-to-door
purveyor of muffins. The rhyme was known at the time of Jane Austen in the
early 19th century, and a muffin man is mentioned at one point in her novel
Persuasion. The muffins sold at this period were made of yeasted dough and
baked on a hot griddle.

The etymology of the name is from moofin first used in 1703, derived from
the Low German Muffen, the plural of Muffe meaning a small cake, or possibly
with some connection to the Old French moufflet meaning soft as said of
bread.
Muffins may well originate as far back as the 10th century, yet
the muffin became a fashionable bread during the 18th century. By the
beginning of the 19th century, there were dozens of muffin factories in
existence, and the «muffin man» was a common sight.

Muffins are a quick-baking bread and have become a tea-table staple. They
are usually split, toasted, buttered and then eaten with a savoury or sweet
topping such as honey.

Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea sea  (PC). It
plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say weather eye
am wrong oar write.  It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache
is maid it nose bee fore two long. And than eye can put the error rite.

Its rarely ever wrong.  Eye have run this let tar threw it. I am
pleased two tell you its letter perfect.  My checker tolled me sew.

Sauce unknown.

Words To Slip Into Conversation

It’s
not that these English words are funny, its just that Will and I challenge you to include them in your repertoire and slip them into conversation.

• Imbue: to dye; to instill profoundly.
• Spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.
• Visage: the face; also, appearance; aspect.
• Sapient: wise; sage; discerning.
• Quiddity: the essence or nature of a thing.
• Exegete: one who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works.
• Sine qua non: an
  indispensable thing.
• Sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.
• Predilection: an established preference.
• Grandee: a man of elevated rank or station; a nobleman.

For example:

It’s
the quiddity of grandees that they have a predilection to imbue sesquipedalian words.
We bet that you can do even better.

Misnomers

The examples of ‘Misnomers’
were reported in The Guardian newspaper in February 2006.  Will and Guy
find this collection of quirky phrases both informative and amusing:

1. Arabic numerals originated in India.
2. Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminium, not tin.
3. Danish pastries were invented in
   Austria.
4. Dry cleaning uses a fluid called naphtha.
5. Pencil lead — pencils use graphite and not lead.
6. The Koala bear is a marsupial and not a bear.
7. Panama hats originate from Ecuador, not
   Panama.
8. The word Asteroid means ‘star-like’
   and they are small planets.
9. The Turkey is native, to America and is named for its resemblance to a bird native to Africa.
10. The Peanut is a legume, [i.e.
    fruit/vegetable] not a nut.
11. The People’s
    Democratic
    Republic of Korea. [Think about it; particularly if you live there]
12. Madison Square Garden, USA is not square, nor is it currently a garden.Madison Square was the location of the original Madison Square
    Gardens.  The first one opened in 1879 in a former hippodrome
    located at the northeast corner of Madison Avenue and 26th street. The
    second Madison Square Garden, replacing the first one in 1889, featured
    a concert hall, theater and roof garden. The building had a prominent
    tower built after the Giralda tower in Sevilla, topped by a nude statue
    of the goddess Diana

English Is A Funny Language Says Expert

More Quirky English Words

Approximately 100 quirky words mark English people out from the rest of
the English-speaking world have been detailed in a new book: «Jolly Wicked
Actually: The 100 Words That Make Us English, by Tony Thorne, a language
expert and consultant at King’s College London, details the words that have
become synonymous with the modern English language. The book details some of
the best known slang words used in the English language and speculates where
they could have derived from, including «fab», one of the few 1960s words
meaning trendy; «fusspot», meaning «anxiety» first used 300 years ago; and
«naff», which possibly derives from *NAAFI, the Navy, Army and Air Force
Institutes.

* The Navy, Army & Air Force Institutes (NAAFI) was established in 1921
and serves those who serve in the British Armed forces and their families.

See more funny English words.

Will and Guy
Select Our Top Ten Quirky Words:

1. Barking: Thought to be named after the London suburb, home to a
   former asylum site; hence ‘Barking mad’.
2. Binge: A bout of uncontrolled indulgence.
3. Blighty: A word much loved by RAF types in WW2.  Originally
   from the Hindi word «bilayati» meaning foreign.
4. Blimey: Could be shorthand for «God, blind me.»
5. Chum: A «chummy» used to be a chimney sweep’s assistant.
6. Cuppa: First used for tea by PG Wodehouse, the playwright.
7. Dear: From an old English word, «deore», meaning «much loved.»
8. Grotty: Sixties Liverpool slang.
9. Jolly: From an old French word meaning «festive».
10. Slag: Derived from a 16th century German word meaning «dross».

UP — A Funny English Word

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that word is UP.’ It is
listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are
the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is
it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends,
brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP
the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP
trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked
UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to
be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in
the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the
page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP
is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you
may wind UP with UP to a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes
out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it
does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll
wrap it UP, for now. My time is UP!

Oh, one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the
last thing you do at night?

!

Did that one crack you UP?

Don’t screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address
book. Or not; it’s UP to you.

Now I’ll shut UP!

What’s In The Meaning

Will and Guy Think:

• If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, does it not
  follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
  deranged , models deposed, or drycleaners depressed?
• Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and
  depleted.
• Even more, bed makers could be debunked, baseball players debased,
  landscapers deflowered, software engineers detested, underwear
  manufacturers debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually
  decompose.

On a different note though, perhaps we can hope that some politicians
will be devoted.

See more fun words.

10 Amusing Collective Nouns

1. A cuddle of teddy bears
2. A conjunction of grammarians
3. A promise of barmen
4. An obeisance of servants
5. A staff of employees
6. A fraid of ghosts
7. A nastiness of villains
8. A promise of tomorrows
9. A prudence of vicars
10. A clique of photographers

Footnote:
Please send us your funny English words.

See more funny English words and phrases

•
Oxymoron examples   •
Funny Words   •
Cool foreign words   •
Illogical English   •
English jokes

•
Funny children’s names   •
Examples of collective nouns   •
Animal collective nouns   •
Neologism

•
A funny word   •
Grammar mistakes   •
Word jokes   •
Paraprosdokian   •
Funny English words

The English language is pretty wild. And by that, we mean that it contains some wacky words that seem too weird to be real, yet absolutely are. So if you appreciate a varied vocabulary and would like to embrace a wider range of words, then you’re in luck! We can help you bumfuzzle your friends with the funniest words that are undeniably fanty-sheeny and will leave you in a finifugal mood. If you don’t believe us—or have any clue what that means—then take a peek below to learn about the funniest words in the English language and how to use them.

1. Brouhaha

If you tweet something divisive the generates a lot of conversation, you might say that you started a bit of a brouhaha. That’s a way better word for it than «commotion» or «uproar.»

Example: «Her speech started a brouhaha on all the 24-hour news channels.»

2. Pettifogger

You’ve seen them in movies and on local commercials: lawyers who are willing to do anything to score a client or get a win. In other words, pettifoggers.

Example: «The prosecution’s pettifogger called some pretty shady witnesses.»

3. Sozzled

Hammered. Wrecked. Drunk. Forget all those boring words for being intoxicated—»sozzled» makes it sound almost sophisticated.

Example: «Don’t let him order another drink, he’s already sozzled.»

4. Wassail

If you enjoy warmed, spiced wine, you can get sozzled on wassail.

Example: 

5. Inkle

Okay, so maybe this one only comes up in conversation if you’re a weaver, but it’s still a funny word. According to Merriam-Webster, an inkle is «a colored linen tape or braid woven on a very narrow loom and used for trimming.»

Example: «My inkle won’t stay in place!»

6. Mollycoddle

Have a lot of siblings? Your parents probably mollycoddle the youngest, meaning that they baby and indulge them, no matter what they do.

Example: «Stop mollycoddling her, she’s a grown woman!»

7. Skirl

If you travel to Scotland (or go to a Scottish pride event), you’ll almost certainly hear someone skirl, i.e. play the bagpipes.

Example: «Let’s get closer, the bagpipers are about to start skirling.»

8. Hoosegow

A wild night out could land you in the hoosegow for breaking the law. It’s just a funny word for jail!

Example: «Come on, we’ve gotta bail him out of the hoosegow.»

9. Rigmarole

Try to do anything with a government agency and it’ll be a lot of rigmarole. That can either mean a lot of circular discussion or just a generally tedious ordeal.

Example: «Let’s get the rigmarole of the paperwork taken care of.»

10. Impignorate

Despite the reputation of the animal within this word, impignorate actually means to pawn off or mortgage something in your possession.

Example: «I’m going to impignorate this watch for some extra cash.»

11. Bumfuzzle

We all find ourselves confused and flustered from time to time, perhaps even to the point where we might describe ourselves as perplexed. But if those words don’t quite capture your bewildered state of mind, then you may want to use the term bumfuzzle.

Example: «That movie was bumfuzzling and left me, well, bumfuzzled.»

12. Winklepicker

While a winklepicker sounds like it should refer to someone who picks winkles (whatever those might be), a winklepicker is, in fact, a shoe or boot that features a sharp-pointed toe.

Example: «I’ve been looking for the perfect winklepicker to go with these pants.»

13. Hullaballoo

A perfect example of a word that sounds like its meaning, hullaballoo refers to a ruckus or uproar that’s on the unpleasant side.

Example: «The hullaballoo was totally wild.»

14. Argle-bargle

Blah, blah, blah, some people like to drone on for as long as others are willing to listen and there are those particular kinds of mind-numbing conversations that never seem to end. Meaningless arguments and worthless chatter—whether done by talking or writing—is called argle-bargle.

Example: «This is just a bunch of pointless argle-bargle.»

15. Doodlesack

Scottish musicians are well-known for their skill with the bagpipes, but they’re not as famous for their talents with the doodlesack. And that’s kind of funny considering this funniest word is just another word for bagpipes.

Example: «What songs do you like to play on a doodlesack?»

16. Gobbledygook

Slang is one thing, but people who indulge in gobbledygook are a lot like turkeys who also gobble, gobble, gobble, or use language that is basically incomprehensible.

Example: «He sure likes to go on and on with the gobbledygook.»

17. Eeksie-peeksie

If you like everything in your world to be perfectly balanced or appreciate even numbers and identical amounts, then you like things to be eeksie-peeksie, which is a term for equal.

Example: «I think it should be eeksie-peeksie for each of us.»

18. Nudiustertian

No one would blame you for thinking that nudiusterian had something to do with being naked, perhaps representing a cheeky lifestyle that rejects clothes. But the word has nothing to do with showing off your body. Instead, it refers to the day before yesterday.

Example: «I went to work on that nudiustertian morning.

19. Gardyloo

Although we no longer toss garbage out of the windows the way people did years ago, it’s still helpful to know that if you hear someone shout «gardyloo» then you better watch out for flying trash, since that’s the appropriate warning to use.

Example: «Gardyloo and watch out!»

20. Tittynope

This is another word that might make you blush until you find out its perfectly innocent meaning. Tittynope is what you call a small amount of something that’s simply leftover.

Example: «There’s a tittynope of sugar in the bowl.»

21. Lackadaisical

If you know someone who’s rather lazy and fails to show any sort of enthusiasm or ambition, then they’re lackadaisical. It’s probably one of the funniest words because of all those syllables.

Example: «My coworker never gets his work done because he’s lackadaisical.»

22. Snickersnee

Snickersnee is certainly a funny word, but the item behind its meaning is no joke. The term refers to a large (and obviously super sharp) knife.

Example: «That’s not a snickersnee. This is a snickersnee.»

23. Flibbertigibbet

Some people are unreliable and don’t seem to be bothered by their own silly vibe. And while we generally accept that they’re the flighty ones among us, you could also call that certain someone a flibbertigibbet.

Example: «My flibbertigibbet friend failed to show up again.»

24. Fanty-sheeny

If you like the finer things in life—and to show them off—then you appreciate anything that’s fanty-sheeny, which is a word that can be used for someone or something that’s fancy or even ostentatious.

Example: «Her house was filled with fanty-sheeny furniture.»

25. Cattywampus

If something is askew, awry, or lined up in a way that’s not totally straight, such as diagonally—basically, slightly off-center or not quite right—then it’s not just annoying, you could say it’s cattywampus.

Example: «The books on the desk are all cattywampus.»

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26. Woebegone

If you know that «woe» is a word for sadness, then it might seem like woebegone is a term for wanting sadness to go away. But since «begone» is actually an old word for being within something, it turns out that woebegone is actually one of the funniest words for being in a sad state.

Example: «He was left woebegone, but hopeful.»

27. Taradiddle

It may seem like pretentious nonsense to use as silly of a word as taradiddle to describe, well, pretentious nonsense, but it would certainly suitable since that’s exactly what taradiddle means.

Example: «His stories are more taradiddle than truth.»

28. Maltipoo

The next time you’re thinking about getting a new pet, perhaps you’ll consider a Maltipoo, which is a cross-breed originating from a Maltese terrier and a miniature or toy poodle. Otherwise, you could also consider a Puggle (a pug and beagle mix) or a Dorgi (a dachshund and corgi cross).

Example: «I just adopted the cutest Maltipoo puppy.»

29. Wabbit

Cartoon character Elmer Fudd was famous for calling Bugs Bunny a «wascally wabbit,» which we assumed was because of his particular way of speaking. But perhaps he was actually using the word wabbit, which means weary or exhausted.

Example: «You wabbit rabbit.»

30. Borborygmus

When your insides make a little noise, you can accurately call that borborygmus. That’s the word for the noisy rumbling and gurgling that comes from your midsection. It’s caused by fluids or gas moving in your intestines.

Example: «Can you hear my belly borborygmus?»

31. Funambulism

If you’re looking for a new pastime and prefer extreme endeavors, you could take up skydiving or white water rafting. But you might want to try funambulism instead, which is another way to say tightrope walking.

Example: «I always thought funambulism looked fun—but I’m afraid of heights, so no thanks.»

32. Widdershins

Counterclockwise is rather fun to say, but take things up a notch wonky word-wise when referring to which way you’re heading by saying that your walking widdershins, which is another word for counterclockwise.

Example: «I took a path widdershins through the forest.»

33. Collywobbles

If you’re experiencing stomach pain or queasiness, whether it’s due to illness or anxiety, then you’re feeling collywobbles, a term for that icky feeling.

Example: «I have some collywobbles happening in my tummy.»

34. Quomodocunquizing

While the word looks rather complicated, it’s meaning is simple. Quomodocunquizing is a way to describe something (or someone) who makes money in any way possible.

Example: «He’s a quomodocunquizing businessperson.»

35. Diphthong

When you combine two vowel sounds together in one word to create something a little different, then you’re using a diphthong.

Example: «The sound ‘oy’ in boy or toy is a diphthong. So is the ‘ou’ in you or loud.»

36. Bloviate

If you were given the task of coming up with a word to describe a person who likes to ramble on, then you might opt for something like bloviate, which is the perfect term for your local windbag.

Example: «That guy couldn’t resist bloviating at the party.»

37. Gubbins

While gibbons are the adorable primates that spend their days swinging through the rain forest, gubbins is something totally different. Instead of being cute creatures, they’re miscellaneous bits and pieces or gadgets.

Example: «The drawer is filled with random gubbins.»

38. Blatherskite

There are plenty of terms for people who like to use words to their full extent (or perhaps even overuse language), which is why we also have blatherskite to describe the kind of person who can’t self-edit and cares more about making noise than making sense.

Example: «My ex is a boring blatherskite.»

39. Snollygoster

Any time you cross paths with someone who’s a snollygoster, then it’s time to head in the other direction. Although they may be a person who’s shrewd, they’re also more likely to be the villain than the hero, which means you’ll want to be wary.

Example: «My nemesis is a snollygoster.»

40. Finifugal

Finifugal is not only a fear of finishing things, it’s also the term you can put into use any time you get the desire to prolong a final moment or prevent a seemingly inevitable ending.

Example: «I have a finifugal vibe towards this funniest words article I’m reading on Best Life.