Funny one word for friends

Why use f-word when you can get creative with your insults? So pick one of these funny insulting names for your friends. Then insult ’em responsibly today.

Please do that in a good-natured manner and vote for one of your favorite insulting words. You can vote for it at the end of the page. After you’ve voted, please ask your friends to vote too. They’d be amused because these mean nicknames are awesome and hilarious though rude.

Table Of Contents

•  15 Funny Insulting Names
• 6 Good Insulting Words And 6 Uniquely Insulting Phrases
• List Of 23 One Word Insults For Guys And Girls
• 23 Embarrassing And Mean Nicknames For Guys They Won’t Forget
• 9 Funny Names To Call Your Friends: Cute Insulting Nicknames
• What’s your favorite insulting word?

 15 Funny Insulting Names

1. Bozo
2. Wuss
3. Fatso
4. Wanker
5. Weirdo
6. Porker
7. Geezer
8. Spastic
9. Doorknob
10. Inbreeder
11. Birdbrain
12. Lamebrain
13. Boogerface
14. Poo-poo head
15. Village idiot

These names above are just the tip of the insulting iceberg. There’s a lot more insulting and funny stuff below. So keep reading and you’ll find more amusing stuff.

6 Good Insulting Words And 6 Uniquely Insulting Phrases

Almost all of these words below describe a stupid person. Only one of them – “dork” – describes a socially inept person. But I did more than just list them.

1. Stupid. Why say just “stupid” when you can say “superstupid”? You can do even better and add a bit of sarcasm. So you can say to your friend: “You’ve been acting like a superstupid Superman from mentally retarded future.”
2. Deadhead. Why say just “deadhead” when you can say “braindead deadhead”? But you can do even better. You can say “braindead deadhead who’s died from mental retardation centuries ago.”
3. Dork. Why say just “dork” when you can say “odd dork dog of a man”? This way, your insult would have a hidden meaning. In ancient Greece, the word “dog” was an insult. People of ancient Greece used that word against someone who behaved in an improper or shameless way.
4. Dingbat. Why say just “dingbat” when you can say “half-wit dingbat”? This way, you imply that a person has only one quarter of a stupid person’s brains and is eccentric. Yes, “dingbat” is usually eccentric. Interestingly, there’s a board game Dingbats. Whether this game is stupid as a dingbat or not depends on the dingbat who’s playing it.
5. Bonehead. Why say just “bonehead” when you can say “bonehead, not the original musical Bonehead”? This way, you confuse the opponent. However, you still make sense. There’s an English musician Paul Benjamin Arthurs who’s known as Bonehead.
6. Assmonkey. Why say just “assmonkey” when you can say “the dirtiest assmonkey alive?” The receiver of “this compliment” will sure remember it.

If you think these insulting phrases and words are amusing, please check out this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. You’d be totally amused.

List Of 23 One Word Insults For Guys And Girls

1. Tool
2. Tard
3. Asshat
4. Assclown
5. Dicknose
6. Fat lard
7. Weaksauce
8. Sleezebag
9. Buttmunch
10. Cockmuppet
11. Cockshiner
12. Cheesedick
13. Dickbreath
14. Rumpranger
15. Cockgobbler
16. Butknuckler
17. Butt monkey
18. Douchemonger
19. Douchenozzle
20. Clitsplitter
21. Carpet-cleaner
22. Rumpleforeskin
23. Knuckle-dragger

If you’re amused by these one word insults, you’ll also be amused by these 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes. Or you can watch a video below with more great insults.

23 Embarrassing And Mean Nicknames For Guys They Won’t Forget

1. Snail. He’s your laziest friend.
2. Coma. He’s your most boring friend.
3. Chipmunk. He’s your shortest friend.
4. Businessman. He’s your friend who’s always busy on the phone.
5. Flame brain. He’s your most short-tempered friend.
6. Rabbit. He’s your fastest but proudest friend.
7. Minion. He’s your friend who’s too quick to obey someone.
8. Slim Jim. He’s skinnier than anyone else you know.
9. Mister Meow. He loves cats too much.
10. Yawner. He wants to take a nap all the time.
11. Ironed. He always wears iron pressed clothes.
12. Mister Pokemon. He’s your dorkiest friend.
13. Low signals. He never understands any jokes.
14. Fooly. He’s easily fooled.
15. Chaired. He always wants to lead but rarely succeeds at that.
16. Timebomb. He always bursts out in anger.
17. Sleepy Eyes. He always looks sleepy.
18. Book Zombie. He’s your friend who often prefers to read a book instead of going out.
19. Jarganotor. He’s using too much jargon.
20. Wikileaks. He can’t keep a secret.
21. Mister Google. Whatever you ask him, he tells you to Google it.
22. Barbarian. He’s your least civilized friend with worst hygiene.
23. Chatterbox. He’s your friend who can’t stop talking.

If you think these mean nicknames are amusing, then this 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List will amuse you too.

9 Funny Names To Call Your Friends: Cute Insulting Nicknames

All of these funny insulting names below are original and memorable. You can use these funny names to call your friends something both cute and insulting.

1. Sweetie-poop. She’s sweet like the perfect poop.
2. Cutie-poop. She’s cute but not quite as perfect as the perfect poop.
3. Light from my butt. Don’t you think the light from your butt is super-cute?
4. Poop-face. If poop can be cute, then the face can be cute like the poop.
5. Poop-babe. She’s cute but she smells. Maybe she should take a professional wiping class.
6. Miss Sweetie Butt-Head. Her butt is too sweet for human words but she’s a little butt-headed.
7. Punny-Bunnie. This cute insulting nickname has a double meaning. First, it can be someone who uses puns too much. Second, it can be someone who’s both punny and poopy.
8. Peanut-poop. She’s cute like a peanut but she also poops quite a lot.
9. Crazy kitty. She’s cute like the kitten but she’s also scratchy like a bitchy cat.

Did these cute insulting nicknames amuse you? Then please share this page to your favorite social media site now because your friends would be amused too. And then please vote below.

Related Links

1. Top-Funny-Jokes.com
2. Macmillan Dictionary

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Funny Words starting with A:

1. Abibliophobia: The fear of running out of reading materials to read.

Sentence: I have so many reading materials in my house, anyone would think that I have Abibliophobia or something!

1. Abozzo: A rough sketch of a drawing or a draft poem.

Sentence: I’m almost finished with my abozzo of the Eiffel tower.

1. Ama: Japanese diver who dives for pearls or food.
2.  

Sentence: Amas have been diving for pearls in the Japan region for many years. 

1. Araba: A carriage or coach used in Turkey.

Sentence: I’m taking the araba through the city today.

1. Argle-bargle:  A lot of commotion or a row happening.

Sentence: What’s all this argie-bargie about?

1. Aye-aye: A type of lemur which can be found in Madagascar. 

Sentence: The aye-ayes are such cute little creatures.

Starting with B:

1. Bamboozled: To trick or confuse someone. 

Sentence: I have been bamboozled again by you. 

1. Blubber: This word has two meanings: It can mean to cry very loudly or could refer to excess body fat.

Blubber Sentence: Please, stop your blubbering.

1. Brouhaha: An event which involves great excitement or loud confusion.

Brouhaha in a sentence: Last night’s event was such a brouhaha and nothing was achieved.

1. Bumbershoot: A Bumbershoot is an old-fashioned word for an umbrella.

Bumbershoot in a sentence: Don’t forget your Bumbershoot, dear.

1. Bumfuzzle: This refers to being confused.

Bumfuzzle in a Sentence: I’m completely bumfuzzled!

Starting with C:

1. Cantankerous: Someone who is very grumpy.

Sentence: Our neighbour is such a Cantankerous.

1. Catawampus: Something positioned diagonally. 

Sentence: To get to the school, you need to walk catawampus across that park over there.

1. Collywobbles (kol-ee-wob-uh lz): This is the feeling when you have a stomach ache or when you feel really nervous or scared.

Collywobbles in a sentence: This place gives me the collywobbles, let’s go!

Hilarious Words Starting with D:

1. Dingy: Something that is dark and dull.

Sentence: This house looks a little dingy to me. 

1. Donnybrook: This refers to a fight, riot or a big brawl.

Donnybrook in a sentence: A Donnybrook broke out last night when the police when to arrest the leader of the operation.

1. Doozy: Something that is really great.

Sentence: I’m having a doozy of a time at this party.

1. Dweeb: This is not a nice word to call someone. It means that you think the person is boring and uninteresting.

Sentence: No-one wants to be a dweeb. 

Funny Words That Start With E: 

1. Egad: Used as an expression of shock or amazement.

Sentence: Egad! I never thought of that! 

1. Eep: Another expression of surprise or fear.

Sentence: Eep! That was scary!

1. Epos: Could refer to an epic poem or something that is epic.  

Sentence: That poem was just epos!

Starting with F:

1. Filibuster: Somone who refusing to give up the floor in a debate to prevent a vote.

Sentence: Someone get that silly filibuster out of here now!

1. Flibbertigibbet (flib·ber·ti·gib·bet): Is a word used to describe someone who talks a lot or is very gossipy.

Flibbertigibbet in a sentence: Imagine sitting on a 12-hour flight with a flibbertigibbet next to you.

1. Flabbergasted: To be surprised or shocked by something.

Sentence: I’m just flabbergasted to hear that.

1. Formication: The feeling that ants are crawling on your skin.

Sentence: Her constant shivering could be described as a formication.

1. Fuddy-duddy: Someone who is a mild-mannered person.

Sentence: He can be such a fuddy-duddy sometimes.

Starting with G:

1. Gaberlunzie: A beggar that walks around town to town.

Sentence: He didn’t really have a profession, some may even call him a gaberlunzie.

1. Gardyloo (gahr-dee-loo): This is a disgusting one. It refers to the cry people use to shout when they would throw their slops or droppings out of the window.

Gardyloo in a Sentence: Watch out, Gardyloo coming!

1. Gazump: This word really has a specific meaning. It means to refuse to sell your house to someone who you previously agreed to sell your house to.

Sentence: I’m so happy my offer to buy the house next door was accepted, but what if I get gazumped?

1. Gobbledygook: Speaking Nonsense.

Sentence: Why do you always have to speak such Gobbledygook?

1. Goombah: An older friend who protects you.

Sentence: Jamie didn’t have many friends, but was glad that his grandpa could be his protector – His Goombah.

1. Gubbins: These are objects of very little value like rubbish or litter.

Gubbins in a sentence: No one’s going to buy your gubbins.

Starting with H:

1. Hairball: A ball of hair that a cat normally chokes out.

Sentence: Cats are cute, but I hate it when they throw-up hairballs everywhere.

1. Hocus-pocus: A trick or magical spell.

Sentence: What’s all this hocus-pocus about?

1. Hokey: Something is is silly or old-fashioned.

Sentence: Now that was hokey old movie to watch!

1. Hootenanny: A country music party or get-together.

Sentence: I’m going to an old-fashioned Hootenanny on Saturday, would you like to come?

1. Heckler: Someone who interrupts a public performance with offensive comments.

Sentence: Those footballers are always having to deal with hecklers at their matches. 

Starting with I:

1. Itty-Bitty: Something that is really small or tiny.

Sentence: That ladybird is so itty-bitty.

1.  Ickle: Something that is small and normally cute

Sentence: Look at that ickle baby dolphin!

1. izzat:  This relates to your personal respect and dignity.

Sentence: I’m afraid of saying that in public, as it’ll be against my izzat. 

Starting with J:

1. Jabberwock: Something that is complete nonsense or gibberish

Sentence: Everything he just said was complete Jabberwock.

1. Jazzetry: The reading of poetry which is accompanied by jazz. 

Sentence: I love reading poems, but I’ve never tried jazzetry.

1. Jink: The sudden change in direction.

Sentence: He jinked out of the way, as the ball came towards him.

Fun Words Starting with K:

1. Kagu: An blueish-greyish type of bird which is now an endangered species. 

Sentence: The rare Kagu can be found in the Pacific island of New Caledonia.

1. Kaka: A breed of parrot that can be found in New-Zealand.

Sentence: The kaka parrots are so cool!

1. Kebbie: A Scottish term relating to a walking stick with a hooked end.

Sentence: Pass the old man his keebie.

1. Kibble: Ground meal or gains used as animal feed. 

Sentence: The chickens love this new brand of kibble.

1. Kraken: A mythical sea creature.

Sentence: Just like the loch ness monster, the Kraken is a myth. 

Starting with L:

1. La-di-da: If you described someone as “La-di-da”, you are suggesting that they are upper-class or behaving unnaturally only to impress other people.

La-di-da in a sentence: She thinks she is all La-di-da, but I know what she’s really like.

1. Lol: Short for laughing out loud. Mosting used on social media and in text messages. 

Sentence: Lol – That’s so funny!

1. Lollygagger: Someone who walks around with no aim or goal.

Sentence: They spent their summer lying about, eating and general lollygagging.

1. Lickety-split: When something moves really fast.

Sentence: He was out of the door lickety-split.

Starting with M:

1. Malarkey: An informal word for talking about meaningless things or nonsense.

Malarkey in a sentence: This is all malarkey, I tell ya!

1. Moist: Something that is slightly wet.

Sentence: This blanket seems a little moist to sit on. 

1. Mollycoddle: To be extra nice to someone or to overprotect them.

Sentence: Sometimes what a child needs is some tough love and not mollycoddling all the time.

Starting with N:

1. Nacket: A light lunch or snack.

Sentence: I’m going to have a quick nacket before dinner. 

1. Namby-pamby: Someone who is weak, with no backbone.

Sentence: I don’t want to be some namby-pamby little girl!

1. Napoo: The end of something. A term mostly used by soldiers.

Sentence: Napooh! That’s the end of that story.

1. Niff: Something that smells bad.

Sentence: It’s got that horrible fishy niff. 

1. Nincompoop: This refers to someone who is not intelligent or a fool.

Nincompoop sentence: You act like such a nincompoop sometimes.

Starting with O:

1. Obi: A sash worn around the waist of a kimono.

Sentence: That pink obi would look nice with this kimono. 

1. Oozy: Something that is slimy and wet

Sentence: That table is dripping in ooze. 

1. Oompah: The sound of deep brass instruments in a band.

Sentence: The oompah music in the background really set the tone.

Starting with P:

1. Panjandrum: Someone who thinks that they are superior to others.

Sentence: She’s no queen, but she saw acts like a panjandrum.

1. Patroon: The captain of a ship

Sentence: Look sharp, the patroon will be here soon.

1. Pettifogger: A pettifogger is someone who deals with small or petty businesses. It can also be to argue over small, unimportant matters.

Pettifogger in a sentence: Why do you look up to such a pettifogger?

Starting with Q:

1. Quab: Something that is incomplete or immature

Sentence: That baby bird is still just a quab.

1. Quark: Scientific term used to describe atoms which are made up of smaller particles. 

Sentence: Understanding quarks of fundamental to the world of physics.

1. Quoz: Something that is strange.

Sentence: That’s so quoz! No-one wants to eat cheese and ice-cream together!

Silly Words Starting with R:

1. Ratoon: This refers to the small root that sprouts from a plant, especially during the springtime.

Sentence: I heard somewhere that ratooned plants grow taller and healthier.

1. Rugrat: Refers to a young child or toddler

Sentences: Those rugrats don’t know what’s coming to them!

1. Ruddy: The term sometimes can be used to suggest good health in a person.

Sentence: That ruddy-faced girl was someone I never seen before. 

Starting with S:

1. Sialoquent: Somone who splits while talking.

Sentence: My old science teacher was Sialoquent. I was always scared to go near him!

1. Skedaddle: To ask some to leave or run away very quickly

Skedaddle in a sentence: This is no place to play your silly games, now skedaddle before I get you!

1. Skullduggery Refers to dodgy dealings and some no good business.

Sentence: We need to put a stop to all this skullduggery around this town.

1. Shenanigan: This is when someone is causing a lot of mischiefs or playing tricks.

Shenanigans in a sentence: What’re all the shenanigans about?

1. Snollygoster (snol·ly·gos·ter): This refers to an unethical politician who is guided by personal advantage.

Snollygoster in a sentence: I don’t want any help from a snollygoster.

1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: Something that is really good. And the longest word in the English dictionary.

Sentence: Your cake is simply supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Starting with T:

1. Tatterdemalion:  A poor child wearing rags.

Sentence: I grew up like a tatterdemalion on the streets and now I’m a billionaire!

1. Taradiddle (tar-uh-did-l): this is a small lie or when someone is speaking nonsense.

Taradiddle in a sentence: That’s such taradiddle –  I don’t trust you at all!

1. Thingamajig. A thing for which you have forgotten the name of. 

Sentence: Can you pass that thingamajig over?

1. Troglodyte: Someone that lives in a cave.

Sentence: All my life I’ve been living like Troglodyte cooped up in this house!

Starting with U:

1. Uber: Something that is really great.

Sentence: That’s a really uber-looking coat you got there!

1. Ube: Type of yam which is coloured purple

Sentence: You can make really nice curry using ube.  

1. Upsy-daisy: Lifting up a small child. 

Sentence: Upsy daisy! It’s time for your nap. 

1. Urubu: A blank vulture found in South American.

Sentence: The Urubu is a rare species of bird found in America.

Starting with V:

1. Vamp: To make something brand-new.

Sentence:  Let’s vamp-up your car. 

1. Vexed: Something that is really annoying or frustrating. 

Sentence: This puzzle has really got me vexed. 

1. veepstakes: A competition to find a party-s vice president. 

Sentence: Have you prepared for the upcoming veepstakes?

Starting with W: 

1. Wabbit: A Scottish word referring to feeling exhausted or a little unwell.

Sentence: I’m feeling wabbit today.

1. Widdershins (with -er-shinz): This refers to going in the opposite direction or going down the wrong path.

Widdershins in a sentence: Only widdershins going down that road.

Starting with X:

All words beginning with X are funny ones!

1. Xanthoderm: A person with yellowish skin. 

Sentence:  This make-up makes my skin look a little Xanthoderm. 

1. Xebec: A small sailing-ship with square sails.

Sentence: Let’s take a ride on my new Xebec. 

Starting with Y:

1. Yabby: Refers to any Australian crayfishes used for food. 

Sentence: These yabbies are going to taste delicious. 

1. Yachty: Relates to yachts.

Sentence: I have a yachty-looking T-shirt. 

1. Yaff: A type of bark.

Sentence: The dog yaffed at the mailman.

1. Yawny: When you yawn or when something is boring

Sentence: That movie was a little yawny. 

1. Yahoo:  A rube, a country bumpkin.

Sentence: What’s that yahoo doing here!

1. Yerk: Pull or push something with a sudden movement.

Sentence; She yerked at the rope, as they tried to pull the bucket up from the well.

1. yips: When a golfer misses an easy putt due to nervousness. 

Sentence: Looks like he has the yips today. 

Funniest Words starting with Z:

1. Zaftig: Having a full-rounded figure.

Sentence:  Her zaftig figure was admired by all. 

1. Zappy: Something that is lively and energetic.

Sentence: She looks very zappy today. 

1. Zazzy:  Something that is shiny and flashy

Sentence: Jenny brought herself a new zazzy handbag to match her shoes.

1. Zeze: A string instrument from South Africa. 

Sentence: The sound of the zeze is unique in South Africa.

1. Zizz: To take a short nap or sleep.

Sentence: James likes to take a 2-hour zizz every afternoon at 2 pm.

1. Zoanthropy (zoh-an-thruh-pee): This is when someone believes that they are an animal.

Zoanthropy in a sentence:  I think she suffers from a mild case of Zoanthropy.

Humor is a really great medium to remove boredom and to start a nice and easy conversation anywhere anytime. Nothing can make you laugh like sharing a few hilarious jokes with your closest friends. Here we present you a wide collection of funny messages for friends that you can post on Facebook or Whatsapp to cheer them up and make their day shine brighter.

Funny quotes for friends

I think that we’ve entered the stage in our relationship when we can discuss poop stuff without being embarrassed. I hope you will accept my proposition and discuss poop with me as soon as possible. Thank you and have a nice day. 

***

Hi bud, I wanted to talk to you about something. I’m really tired of you stealing my fries. I think this behaviour is unacceptable, and you have to stop. Thank you for understanding. 

***

Do you think we can continue laughing at the stupidest things? I mean, we’ve grown up and I’m not sure if it’s acceptable now. Well, nevermind, at least I’m not being stupid by myself. I’ll always have you. 

***

I can’t wait for us to grow old together and live in a nursing home. Can you imagine the chaos? We will destroy this place as soon as we get there. 

***

I’m on my way because I’m bored and I have nothing to eat. Could I buy some groceries and take a nap at home? Yes, yes, I could. But it wouldn’t be special because I wouldn’t be ableirritate you. 

Funny sms for friends

The best thing about you is not the fact that you will comfort me if someone hurts me really bad. It’s the fact that you will do anything to destroy this person’s life just to make me feel better. 

***

Who needs a psychiatrist when there are friends like you? I know that my dirtiest secrets are safe with you, and you will never tell on me. You know why? Because I know your dirtiest secrets too. 

***

I would be so terrified if someone heard our weird conversations. Sometimes our discussions make me physically sick, but let’s never stop having those. It’s disgusting but fun. 

***

Do I love when you fall or / and hurt yourself? Yes. Do I ghost you for weeks from time to time? Absolutely I do. Did I eat all the food from your fridge? Also yes. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you! 

***

You know you’ve found your best friend when you start discussing your funeral. The song that will be playing, the food that will be served. Have you decided yet? I want everything to be perfect! 

Hilarious messages for friend

Do you know why I call you my best friend? If the world was ending and I had to kill someone to survive, you would be my last victim. True friendship isn’t dead, am I right? 

***

I realized that you will always be my friend when our depressive and manic episodes synchronized. It’s so fun to do crazy stuff and then cry all night long with someone like you, buddy. 

***

What should I do to make you listen to me? Buy some kind of friendship premium? Take my money, because I’m tired of you not taking me seriously. Yes, I cry when I see touching commercials, but it doesn’t mean you can make fun of me! 

***

I truly believe that best friends are angels that were sent to us from Heaven above. I can’t believe the matrix glitched and instead of an angel from Heaven I got you. 

***

My biggest fear is dying and going to hell, but then I look at you and realize that you will be definitely coming with me. Get your sunscreen ready and let’s rock’n’roll!

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Short hilarious texts for friends

Mate, it’s so important to have a supportive and loving friend in life. Someone who will always be there to keep you from troubles, you know? Do you understand what I’m trying to say? You need to work on your friend skills, buddy. 

***

I’m so glad that I have you. I’ve never thought that someday I’ll find someone who has no sense of humour just like me. Who is just as awkward and lost in this crazy world. I’m talking about you, buddy!

***

A friend is someone whose brain farts smell the same as yours do, because being stupid together is much more fun than being stupid all by yourself. Thank you for being my dumb missing puzzle piece, mate. 

***

I’m glad that I have a friend like you because every time I feel like a loser, I remember that you actually exist and I immediately feel so much better. The support in our relationship gives me life mate.

***

Just wanted to remind you that you are very lucky to have a friend like me, because no other human being would be able to tolerate you. I accept cash as a form of gratitude, thank you very much. 

Funny msg ideas for friend

Today I’ve decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Just kidding, buddy. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. 

***

I’m just thinking about what an amazing friend I am. You should feel lucky to have someone as gorgeous as me in your life, I hope you understand that. Don’t you ever let me go. 

***

Hakuna Matata! I’ve just realized that you are Pumbaa to my Timon. When life says “what?!”, we always turn it into “so what!”. Also, you are just as big and stinky as Pumbaa is. Just kidding, buddy, relax. 

***

I wish you could understand how hard it is to be friends with someone like you through all these years. Oh, poor me! You wouldn’t be able to make it this far. Okay, don’t be mad! I still love you, bud. 

***

Your sense of humour is just as ridiculous as mine. This is the only reason I keep you. Nobody else can understand my jokes. Okay, I still love you, mate. 

Funny text messages for friends

It’s nice to know that I have a company for spending my eternity in Hell. So happy you’re such a bad influence! Love you more than anyone in the world, buddy.

***

I can’t stand you. You’re crazy, annoying, and you laugh too loud. Well, I guess you’re just like me. That’s why I can’t imagine my life without you, weirdo.

***

If we were last people on Earth and there was just one piece of food left… I would burry you with all my respect. You’re going to have the best funeral, buddy!

***

I can’t believe how lucky you are to have me as your best friend. I’m so jealous of you, mate. Just kidding, your kinda okay as well.

***

Hey, gorgeous. Do you believe in friendship at the first sight? Well, I definitely do since I met you. Let’s get completely crazy together.

Funny messages for friend

Girl to shopkeeper: I am looking for a nice love card.
Shopkeeper: Maybe you will like this one, it tells „To the only boy I ever loved“.
Girl: This card is perfect! Give me 10 of them, please.

***

Men with pierced ears are more prepared for marriage.
Why?
Because they have already experienced pain and bought jewellery.

***

Advice for boys: if you wish to change the country, better do it right now. Because when you get married, you will not be able to change the TV channel, not speaking about the country…

***

There is one way for transferring your funds, which is even faster than electronic banking.
This is marriage.

***

The shortest way to a woman’s heart is to say 3 simple words: “You lost weight!”.

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Best friend quotes

Good morning messages for friends

There are two times when men don’t understand their women – it’s before marriage and after marriage.

***

I never drink. Unless I am alone or with someone.

***

Scientists have revealed that beer containes small traces of female hormones. They fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that all of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.

***

Sometimes I feel sorry for those who don’t drink. Because when they wake up that is as good as they will feel all day long…

***

Drunk went to a court. The judge said: „You are brought here for drinking“.
The drunk replied: „Oh, great! So let’s get started!“.

There is only one crush that is left after getting married… It’s “Candy crush”.

***

Doctor told me to watch my drinking. That is why I have to drink in front of a mirror now.

***

Attention! Never text while driving, it’s dangerous, because you might spill your beer!

***

I am wondering… if the love is blind, than how will she find me?

***

Did you know how the word „wife“ had been invented?
They just took 2 first and 2 last letter of the word „wildlife“.

Blind wife and deaf husband… what a perfect marriage!

***

He doesn’t know the meaning of word “fear”.
By the way, he doesn‘t know the meaning of many other words as well.

***

I cannot think of anything worse than waking up after a night of drinking next to somebody and not being able to remember his name, how you met and … why he is dead?!

***

What is the difference between talent and intelligence?
Talent is walking on a rope over Niagara Falls.
And intelligence is not trying such a thing.

***

It is amazing that when you go into a spider web you automatically learn karate, kung fu and jujitsu!

My girlfriend was complaining that I never take her to expensive places, so today I took her to the petrol station.

***

What is an alarm clock?
It is a small device used for waking up by those people who don’t have little children.

***

Women have a lot of faults, while men have only 2 – everything that they do and everything that they say.

***

You know, my wife doesn’t mind me flirting with other girls.
In fact, their rejection seems quite entertaining for her.

***

Being your friend is always having someone to eat with even if we’re both not hungry. I appreciate it more than anything in the world, mate, thank you so much. Let’s get fat together.

***

I’ve realized that you became my best friend when you fell and got hurt and I couldn’t stop laughing at this. I think that’s what best friends do, right?

Want to know why you eat chocolate, sweets and cakes every time when you are stressed?
Very simple, it’s because the word „stressed“ spelled backwards is „desserts“.

***

Every morning when I wake up
I pray to the Lord
That everybody should have a friend like you.

(send the second message just after the first one)
Why should I suffer alone?!

***

Congratulations! A brand new puzzle game was installed to your mobile phone! To start playing, just throw your phone against the wall and then assemble the pieces…

***

Officer, I have found a bomb in my garden!
It‘s all right, you can keep it, if nobody claims it within 3 days.

One day I went to the gym and I realised that it is not for me – I laid down on the mat to do some exercises and …
I woke up two hours later.

***

– You know, buddy, I am truly worried…
– Why?
– Well, my wife read „A tale of two cities“ and after some time we had twins. Then she read „The three musketeers“ and later we had triplets. And now she is reading „Birth of nation“!…

***

Last night I lied down on my bed and started to look at the beautiful night sky, full of brightly shining stars and then I thought to myself… and where the hell is my roof now?

***

Imagine you fall down with your newly bought iPhone 6 in your pocket,
And you hear some crack.. what would you pray for?
„Lord, let that be my leg, please…“

You are my best friend, so If we lived in a post-apocalyptic world, I would kill you last. I think it’s the best compliment ever, and I really hope you’ll enjoy it. Love you!

***

It’s nice to have a friend who can get you out of jail. But it’s even nicer to have a friend who will sit next to you in a prison cell saying “It was amazing, we have to repeat this experience”.

***

We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t even remember why I started to hang out with you in the first place, weirdo. Just kidding, I think your amazing. Just in your own special way, mate.

The English language is pretty wild. And by that, we mean that it contains some wacky words that seem too weird to be real, yet absolutely are. So if you appreciate a varied vocabulary and would like to embrace a wider range of words, then you’re in luck! We can help you bumfuzzle your friends with the funniest words that are undeniably fanty-sheeny and will leave you in a finifugal mood. If you don’t believe us—or have any clue what that means—then take a peek below to learn about the funniest words in the English language and how to use them.

1. Brouhaha

If you tweet something divisive the generates a lot of conversation, you might say that you started a bit of a brouhaha. That’s a way better word for it than «commotion» or «uproar.»

Example: «Her speech started a brouhaha on all the 24-hour news channels.»

2. Pettifogger

You’ve seen them in movies and on local commercials: lawyers who are willing to do anything to score a client or get a win. In other words, pettifoggers.

Example: «The prosecution’s pettifogger called some pretty shady witnesses.»

3. Sozzled

Hammered. Wrecked. Drunk. Forget all those boring words for being intoxicated—»sozzled» makes it sound almost sophisticated.

Example: «Don’t let him order another drink, he’s already sozzled.»

4. Wassail

If you enjoy warmed, spiced wine, you can get sozzled on wassail.

Example: 

5. Inkle

Okay, so maybe this one only comes up in conversation if you’re a weaver, but it’s still a funny word. According to Merriam-Webster, an inkle is «a colored linen tape or braid woven on a very narrow loom and used for trimming.»

Example: «My inkle won’t stay in place!»

6. Mollycoddle

Have a lot of siblings? Your parents probably mollycoddle the youngest, meaning that they baby and indulge them, no matter what they do.

Example: «Stop mollycoddling her, she’s a grown woman!»

7. Skirl

If you travel to Scotland (or go to a Scottish pride event), you’ll almost certainly hear someone skirl, i.e. play the bagpipes.

Example: «Let’s get closer, the bagpipers are about to start skirling.»

8. Hoosegow

A wild night out could land you in the hoosegow for breaking the law. It’s just a funny word for jail!

Example: «Come on, we’ve gotta bail him out of the hoosegow.»

9. Rigmarole

Try to do anything with a government agency and it’ll be a lot of rigmarole. That can either mean a lot of circular discussion or just a generally tedious ordeal.

Example: «Let’s get the rigmarole of the paperwork taken care of.»

10. Impignorate

Despite the reputation of the animal within this word, impignorate actually means to pawn off or mortgage something in your possession.

Example: «I’m going to impignorate this watch for some extra cash.»

11. Bumfuzzle

We all find ourselves confused and flustered from time to time, perhaps even to the point where we might describe ourselves as perplexed. But if those words don’t quite capture your bewildered state of mind, then you may want to use the term bumfuzzle.

Example: «That movie was bumfuzzling and left me, well, bumfuzzled.»

12. Winklepicker

While a winklepicker sounds like it should refer to someone who picks winkles (whatever those might be), a winklepicker is, in fact, a shoe or boot that features a sharp-pointed toe.

Example: «I’ve been looking for the perfect winklepicker to go with these pants.»

13. Hullaballoo

A perfect example of a word that sounds like its meaning, hullaballoo refers to a ruckus or uproar that’s on the unpleasant side.

Example: «The hullaballoo was totally wild.»

14. Argle-bargle

Blah, blah, blah, some people like to drone on for as long as others are willing to listen and there are those particular kinds of mind-numbing conversations that never seem to end. Meaningless arguments and worthless chatter—whether done by talking or writing—is called argle-bargle.

Example: «This is just a bunch of pointless argle-bargle.»

15. Doodlesack

Scottish musicians are well-known for their skill with the bagpipes, but they’re not as famous for their talents with the doodlesack. And that’s kind of funny considering this funniest word is just another word for bagpipes.

Example: «What songs do you like to play on a doodlesack?»

16. Gobbledygook

Slang is one thing, but people who indulge in gobbledygook are a lot like turkeys who also gobble, gobble, gobble, or use language that is basically incomprehensible.

Example: «He sure likes to go on and on with the gobbledygook.»

17. Eeksie-peeksie

If you like everything in your world to be perfectly balanced or appreciate even numbers and identical amounts, then you like things to be eeksie-peeksie, which is a term for equal.

Example: «I think it should be eeksie-peeksie for each of us.»

18. Nudiustertian

No one would blame you for thinking that nudiusterian had something to do with being naked, perhaps representing a cheeky lifestyle that rejects clothes. But the word has nothing to do with showing off your body. Instead, it refers to the day before yesterday.

Example: «I went to work on that nudiustertian morning.

19. Gardyloo

Although we no longer toss garbage out of the windows the way people did years ago, it’s still helpful to know that if you hear someone shout «gardyloo» then you better watch out for flying trash, since that’s the appropriate warning to use.

Example: «Gardyloo and watch out!»

20. Tittynope

This is another word that might make you blush until you find out its perfectly innocent meaning. Tittynope is what you call a small amount of something that’s simply leftover.

Example: «There’s a tittynope of sugar in the bowl.»

21. Lackadaisical

If you know someone who’s rather lazy and fails to show any sort of enthusiasm or ambition, then they’re lackadaisical. It’s probably one of the funniest words because of all those syllables.

Example: «My coworker never gets his work done because he’s lackadaisical.»

22. Snickersnee

Snickersnee is certainly a funny word, but the item behind its meaning is no joke. The term refers to a large (and obviously super sharp) knife.

Example: «That’s not a snickersnee. This is a snickersnee.»

23. Flibbertigibbet

Some people are unreliable and don’t seem to be bothered by their own silly vibe. And while we generally accept that they’re the flighty ones among us, you could also call that certain someone a flibbertigibbet.

Example: «My flibbertigibbet friend failed to show up again.»

24. Fanty-sheeny

If you like the finer things in life—and to show them off—then you appreciate anything that’s fanty-sheeny, which is a word that can be used for someone or something that’s fancy or even ostentatious.

Example: «Her house was filled with fanty-sheeny furniture.»

25. Cattywampus

If something is askew, awry, or lined up in a way that’s not totally straight, such as diagonally—basically, slightly off-center or not quite right—then it’s not just annoying, you could say it’s cattywampus.

Example: «The books on the desk are all cattywampus.»

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26. Woebegone

If you know that «woe» is a word for sadness, then it might seem like woebegone is a term for wanting sadness to go away. But since «begone» is actually an old word for being within something, it turns out that woebegone is actually one of the funniest words for being in a sad state.

Example: «He was left woebegone, but hopeful.»

27. Taradiddle

It may seem like pretentious nonsense to use as silly of a word as taradiddle to describe, well, pretentious nonsense, but it would certainly suitable since that’s exactly what taradiddle means.

Example: «His stories are more taradiddle than truth.»

28. Maltipoo

The next time you’re thinking about getting a new pet, perhaps you’ll consider a Maltipoo, which is a cross-breed originating from a Maltese terrier and a miniature or toy poodle. Otherwise, you could also consider a Puggle (a pug and beagle mix) or a Dorgi (a dachshund and corgi cross).

Example: «I just adopted the cutest Maltipoo puppy.»

29. Wabbit

Cartoon character Elmer Fudd was famous for calling Bugs Bunny a «wascally wabbit,» which we assumed was because of his particular way of speaking. But perhaps he was actually using the word wabbit, which means weary or exhausted.

Example: «You wabbit rabbit.»

30. Borborygmus

When your insides make a little noise, you can accurately call that borborygmus. That’s the word for the noisy rumbling and gurgling that comes from your midsection. It’s caused by fluids or gas moving in your intestines.

Example: «Can you hear my belly borborygmus?»

31. Funambulism

If you’re looking for a new pastime and prefer extreme endeavors, you could take up skydiving or white water rafting. But you might want to try funambulism instead, which is another way to say tightrope walking.

Example: «I always thought funambulism looked fun—but I’m afraid of heights, so no thanks.»

32. Widdershins

Counterclockwise is rather fun to say, but take things up a notch wonky word-wise when referring to which way you’re heading by saying that your walking widdershins, which is another word for counterclockwise.

Example: «I took a path widdershins through the forest.»

33. Collywobbles

If you’re experiencing stomach pain or queasiness, whether it’s due to illness or anxiety, then you’re feeling collywobbles, a term for that icky feeling.

Example: «I have some collywobbles happening in my tummy.»

34. Quomodocunquizing

While the word looks rather complicated, it’s meaning is simple. Quomodocunquizing is a way to describe something (or someone) who makes money in any way possible.

Example: «He’s a quomodocunquizing businessperson.»

35. Diphthong

When you combine two vowel sounds together in one word to create something a little different, then you’re using a diphthong.

Example: «The sound ‘oy’ in boy or toy is a diphthong. So is the ‘ou’ in you or loud.»

36. Bloviate

If you were given the task of coming up with a word to describe a person who likes to ramble on, then you might opt for something like bloviate, which is the perfect term for your local windbag.

Example: «That guy couldn’t resist bloviating at the party.»

37. Gubbins

While gibbons are the adorable primates that spend their days swinging through the rain forest, gubbins is something totally different. Instead of being cute creatures, they’re miscellaneous bits and pieces or gadgets.

Example: «The drawer is filled with random gubbins.»

38. Blatherskite

There are plenty of terms for people who like to use words to their full extent (or perhaps even overuse language), which is why we also have blatherskite to describe the kind of person who can’t self-edit and cares more about making noise than making sense.

Example: «My ex is a boring blatherskite.»

39. Snollygoster

Any time you cross paths with someone who’s a snollygoster, then it’s time to head in the other direction. Although they may be a person who’s shrewd, they’re also more likely to be the villain than the hero, which means you’ll want to be wary.

Example: «My nemesis is a snollygoster.»

40. Finifugal

Finifugal is not only a fear of finishing things, it’s also the term you can put into use any time you get the desire to prolong a final moment or prevent a seemingly inevitable ending.

Example: «I have a finifugal vibe towards this funniest words article I’m reading on Best Life.