Forgot the safe word

Исполнитель: Greenpoint Blue Название: I Forgot the Safe WordБитрейт: 320 kbpsДлительность: 03:09Размер : 7.21 МБДата добавления: 2022-08-20 20:55:41

Once I was able to stop feeling threatened by her—a huge part of which was knowing my relationship with my husband was solid—she didn’t live rent free in my head anymore. I stopped hating her and felt more pity and compassion for her. Also I haven’t seen her in several years.

I feel for you. Go to therapy. Ask your husband to go to therapy. Go to therapy together. If your marriage is solid, your MIL cannot bother you. Unfortunately, this requires your SO’s cooperation. But that’s marriage, isn’t it? If he cares more about his mom’s feelings than yours, at least now you know.

JFC. I would not let her be alone with your baby until she acknowledges that what she did was harmful to your child and APOLOGIZES. And not a fake-ass apology. One where she admits wrongdoing and swears never to do it again. A frickin’ 10-week-old’s digestive system cannot handle ice cream. OMG.

NTA. Good decision having her escorted out. If she were allowed to remain as a guest, who knows what kind of BS she would have tried to pull.

I would LOVE to hear how it goes when it’s Kat’s turn to be a bride.

My ILs threatened to sue for visitation when my husband was about to be deployed. We now consider them to be potential litigants, and I will never see them as anything else.

If I were you, I would deny her access to your kids because any interaction could help her build a case against you.

It’s not a brand mentioned much here, but Ceramedx (by Earth Science) makes a really nice moisturizer that I’ve used for about a year. It’s not crazy expensive either (about $15 for 4 oz.).

When you and your husband are calm and ready, invite your MIL over to talk. Tell her how you both feel about hitting as punishment, and that if she doesn’t promise to stop hitting your child, she will not be invited to the party.

Uh, wow. Maybe something else was eating your MIL and the mattress was just what made her crack, and you were the nearest target. Not making excuses for her behavior, though! She owes you a sincere apology and an explanation, and I wouldn’t go anywhere near her until I got both.

Maybe frame it as a “How would you like it if, etc.?” Remind your MIL that your baby is a person, not a toy that exists for her enjoyment. So, if your baby is asleep, you could say, “Let baby sleep please. How would you like it if someone poked you awake in the middle of the night?”

For your husband, I encourage you to be patient but firm with him. I’m guessing he’s likely never had to confront his mom, but he should understand he’s prioritizing his mom’s feelings over YOUR feelings and his baby’s health and safety. That ain’t gonna work long term. DH isn’t responsible for MIL’s feelings (repeat ad nauseum).

I’ve been in your shoes, except my kids were already born when my MIL started throwing shit at the fan.

Best advice I can offer: You owe it to YOUR baby to take care of yourself. Your baby needs and deserves a happy, healthy mom, so don’t feel guilty for doing what’s right for you. Your MIL will probably be miserable no matter what you do, and you’re not responsible for her feelings anyway.

It took my husband lots of therapy to realize that he’s not responsible for his parents’ feelings, and it took a few years for his parents to finally stop pestering him about me.

I was racked with guilt for a long time because I felt I was somehow responsible for ruining my husband’s relationship with his family. Now I know that it’s totally up to my husband to decide how HE wants to manage his relationship with his family, and it’s up to me to decide what I will (or won’t) do to support him in that. Things are so much better now.

Best of luck!

Set those boundaries early, dude. You teach others how to treat you, so teach your MIL to respect your role as the mother of your child right off the bat. Talk about this with your SO as well. You guys need to be a united front as parents, and right now his role is to support YOU.

Sorry you’re dealing with this right before your due date. What the hell is wrong with people?

Pffft. SIL needs to figure out that she’s not responsible for her parents’ feelings and neither are you, and your baby doesn’t exist to make his grandparents happy.

There’s a honey company called Keez Beez (as in Florida Keys—get it?) that makes a lip balm made of just honey and beeswax. I also have a lanolin allergy, so this stuff has been amazing. They sell it online!

So, first, I am helping society by raising my kids to understand and accept their emotions as part of normal human existence. I’m also teaching them to that while they can’t always control how they feel, they are always responsible for what they do.

Second, in my experience, no one responds favorably to being publicly ridiculed by a stranger. I know nothing about that dad’s life except that he has young kids and he was there to support his daughter at her tennis lesson. It’s not my place to mom-splain to him in front of his wife and MIL how to parent his kids, about whom I know practically nothing except that they seemed sweet, happy and thriving! He’s a good dad and I’m sure he’s doing to best he can to improve on how HE was raised, just like the majority of other parents, who deserve compassion and support instead of judgment from strangers.

I met another parent recently when our preschool-age kids were playing at a park. One kid trips and the other kid trips over that kid. Standard little kid shenanigans. I yell over, “You guys OK? Hey, buddy, check on your friend to make sure he’s OK.” The other parent, a dad, said there’s no crying in his family, and he’d “whoop his butt” if his son cried. I was stunned. The dad was there with his other kids, and was clearly an involved parent who seemed to care about his children. But, still, what a lesson: if you’re crying, I’ll threaten or hurt you more until you stop. Wow.