The F Word is a series celebrating what it means to be fat, from destigmatizing the word to taking stock of the discrimination fat people face. In this op-ed, Ashleigh Shackelford explains why fat isn’t a bad word, and why they are reclaiming it.
Fat. Many of us who are fat have different feelings about this word. For some, it’s merely a description of the size of our body. For others, it has become a weapon against us, used to incite shame and worthlessness. We hear, “Ugh, I ate so much! I feel so fat right now,” and “How can you be happy being fat? There’s no way you’re healthy.” When people say the word fat, sometimes they mean ugliness, failure, laziness, dirtiness, gluttony, lack of intelligence, and worthlessness. But that’s not what fat means.
No matter how people use it, fat is not a bad word. Fat is not an indication of value, health, beauty, or performance. Fat is a descriptor in the same way that black and queer are descriptors. And fat is somewhat similar to black and queer in more than just that way; it’s also a word that encompasses a marginalized identity. Yes, fat is a neutral and descriptive word, but when it’s an identity, it’s much more than that. To reclaim this word, or any word, is to lean into an identity as a form of revolution against fat phobia, racism, and so much more. For me, fat is a way of saying “f*ck you.”
“I reclaim the word fat in all spaces, formal and informal, because I get to,” says Brienne Colston, director of Brown Girl Recovery. “I get to shift what was once used as a mechanism to break my spirit into something that offers a source of power and pride. It’s a reminder of all that I’ve come from, and all that I will do.”
How fat is weaponized, and the reclamation of the word, goes beyond size. Fat stigma is also tied to anti-blackness, in that being black is the abundance that white supremacy seeks to shrink. Blackness and its cultural markers are historically viewed through a lens of gluttony, abundance, and savagery, stereotypes that linger and impact us today. Because of this, black fat people are assumed to have it “easier” being fat, because it’s “normal” for our bodies to be bigger; because failing the societal standards white people set is the default for our black existence.
But black people come in all shapes and sizes, just like anyone else. It’s the negative stereotypes created by white supremacy that reinforce the idea that we are naturally fat, and with that many of the negative associations tied to the word today. The more we call ourselves fat, and the more we realize that it’s not bad to be fat, the more we’re tearing down walls built by racism.
In a world that seems to want to reaffirm that fat bodies are not worthy of love and joy, and that being fat means we are failures and should be ashamed of “choosing this lifestyle,” we can fight this by taking up space — I encourage you to do this, because demanding space is demanding to exist.
It’s not just physical space, but digital space too. Often I can’t post a picture of my black fat body or identify publicly as fat, regardless of my happiness, health, or motivation, without harassment. But I stand firm in that fatness does not have to be fixed, eradicated, shrunk, hidden, silenced, or shamed.
Being fat is okay. I am okay. And I’m the only one who can define that.
Through a strong community of other fat people, and the process of realizing that fat is not a bad word but a powerful one, I now see fat as not only my personal power, but one that can change the world for everybody. The reclamation of a word that sourced so much shame fueled the reclamation of my entire being; it fueled my commitment to community wellness and my passion to build liberation.
Certainly fat people are not a monolith, and we do not all feel the same way about reclaiming fat. But to embody freeing ourselves from systems of shame that depict fatness as inherently nonhuman or as a failure is something many of us commit to, consciously and not.
My definition of fat is Black AF, multidimensional, and futuristic. Fat means I exist. Fat means taking up space and demanding more. Fat means black. Fat means fuck you. Fat means human. Fat means creating a world full of possibility without shame. Fat means saying f*ck you.
We need to talk about the word fat. Specifically, we as a collective society need to make room for understanding fat the way many plus-size people do: as a neutral, even affirming, term.
Fat is a word that many of us avoid, especially straight-size people (that is, people who don’t wear plus sizes), and understandably so. We’ve spent a lifetime being trained to understand the word as a deeply cruel one. Many of us have been hurt by it, and so we come to know it exclusively as a weapon. Some people use fat to mean unlovable, undesirable, slovenly, unintelligent, lazy. Others use it to mean wealthy and greedy; other times we use it to mean poor and lazy. Sometimes it’s a stand-in for sloth, gluttony, and other deadly sins. Fat becomes a floating signifier—a word that’s a blank screen for us to project our assumptions and feelings onto. It can, and does, bear all manner of things. But all the wide-ranging things we project onto the word fat have one thing in common: They’re negative.
Because many people only conceive of the word fat as a negative one, they redact it from their own vocabularies. They object when anyone else uses the word, especially in reference to themselves. Too often they don’t seek to understand why that person has used the word fat, or how that person feels about it. Instead they simply assume that everyone else sees the word negatively. They don’t listen for content, don’t ask clarifying questions, don’t seek to support that person. They simply lean into their own knee-jerk response of wishing the word away. Sweetie, no! You’re not fat!
For some people, some of that discomfort is rooted in personal experiences being called fat, which many of us experience as a hurtful insult. But being called fat is insulting, at least in part, because whatever our size, we all know how fat people are treated. We all see the way strangers stare at fat people, the ways in which fat bodies are used to prompt full-throated revulsion and disgust. We see the ways in which fat people are bullied and excluded. So we assume that the word fat calls up all that hurt and harm, and we scrub it from our vocabularies.
But in the process of disavowing the word, we reinforce all of those negative meanings, and we reveal our own unquestioned assumptions about what it means to be fat. We don’t ask fat people what they want, or what would feel most supportive to them, even as we insist we’re protecting them by eschewing the word fat. Instead we act as if we know what’s best for people whose life experiences are markedly different from our own. Rather than focusing on the needs of the people who are most marginalized by anti-fat bias, we center our own discomfort. We assume that others share our myriad and multifaceted negative assumptions and preconceptions about being fat. And in assuming, we perpetuate those negative stereotypes, relegating the word fat—and, consequently fat people’s experiences—to that which cannot be named, much less remedied.
For decades now, some fat people have been proudly using the word fat like any other descriptor, accurately and neutrally. The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) was founded 1969, proudly using the word fat in its name. Books like Happy Fat, Things No One Tells Fat Girls, and Fat!So? have been written by and for fat people for years. But still, people who aren’t and haven’t been fat often studiously avoid the word, even going so far as to correct fat people when we name our own bodies.
I’ve been fat since childhood and have worn plus sizes since high school. I have had fat hurled at me as an insult more times than I can count. It stung because it was intended to: Not only was it a condemnation of my body, it was a reminder that I didn’t belong. But even as a child and teenager, being called fat paled in comparison to how I was treated, even by those who diligently avoided the term.
As an undeniably fat person, being called fat is the least of my problems. I am more concerned with the rampant discrimination that people like me face in employment, health care, education, and more. I am much more concerned about the ceaseless street harassment and sexual harassment that follow very fat people wherever we go and about the countless bystanders who too often say and do nothing to intervene. And I’m much more concerned with the number of straight-size people who refuse to say the word fat and, as a result, refuse to acknowledge the lived experience of fatter people. Because I know, from a lifetime of experience in a fat body, that if someone is afraid to say “fat,” chances are they’re not standing up for fat people. If simply naming our bodies is too much to bear, that’s a sign that one’s relationship to fat people is far from neutral, much less accepting or supportive.
Of course, not everyone is comfortable being called fat. But that discomfort can’t override fat people’s body autonomy. And that means that all of us—fat or thin—are going to need to get comfortable enough to hear someone else say the word fat without objecting (unless it’s used in an abusive way, of course). Regardless of the speaker’s size, we’re going to need to get comfortable asking, “What does that mean to you?” and accepting whatever answer we get. We’ll need to relearn to see the word as it is: a neutral descriptor that can hold different kinds of power for different people. Recognize that where you see a minefield, others—including many people who, like me, are undeniably fat—find liberation and joy. In a word you’ve redacted from your vocabulary, many of us find ourselves. And when you cannot name our bodies, when you cannot regard our skin neutrally, what chance do you have of treating us respectfully or lovingly?
If you’re recognizing your own habits as you read this, instead of centering your own discomfort with the word fat when you hear other people use it, try getting at the root of that discomfort. And instead of simply avoiding the word fat out of an attempt not to hurt fat people’s feelings, focus on making the world a safer place for fat people to begin with. Here are a few ways to work on both of those goals.
Challenge your own discomfort with the word fat. Try saying the word to yourself, over and over again. Note how it feels in your mouth. Say it until you can hear it neutrally, and until you can say it like any other physical descriptor: tall, short, fat, thin. If you need to describe a fat person’s body for any legitimate and inoffensive reason (one that has nothing to do with any body talk they didn’t consent to), ask them what words they’d like you to use, and then use those words. Including fat. Show up for fat people by honoring our wishes—not just what you think our wishes ought to be.
Find media to consume and social media to follow that challenges your perception of what it means to be fat. If you’re not sure where to start, check out Jes Baker’s list of predominantly fat Instagram accounts to follow, or listen to Nicole Byer’s excellent podcast Why Won’t You Date Me? Essentially, listen to fat people directly, and take note of where our experiences and desires challenge your assumptions.
Address your own anti-fatness. Know that your discomfort with the word fat may indicate discomfort with fatness or with fat people ourselves. If that’s the case for you, work on uprooting your own anti-fat bias. Here are seven places you can start. Recognize that, as with any bias, working on your own anti-fatness is work that ebbs and flows over a lifetime. Don’t expect to reach a simple and satisfying point of completion. Instead, know that you’ve spent decades learning that bias, and you may need to spend decades more unlearning it.
Volunteer for and donate to fat liberation causes. Find organizations like the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, the Association for Size Diversity and Health, NOLOSE, and The Body Is Not an Apology. If you can, seek out crowdfunding fundraisers that benefit fat people, especially fat disabled people and fat people who are Black, Indigenous, or other people of color. Focus on your own growth and learning, yes, and then find ways to materially show up for fat people.
You already know how harsh this world can be for fat people. Refusing to respect the names we choose for our bodies doesn’t change any of that—it just pushes that harshness away and gives people who aren’t fat a sense of absolution for the anti-fatness that’s all around us.
Related:
- Read This If You’re Feeling Pressure to Lose the ‘Quarantine 15’
- 5 Ways to Make Your Fat Friends Feel More Welcome as We Start to Hang Out Again
- I’m a Fat Activist. Here’s Why I Don’t Use the Word Fatphobia
According to the Oxford dictionary, the meaning of fat is “a natural oily substance occurring in animal bodies, especially when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs.” But, in a society that hails thin bodies as the ideal of beauty, the word fat is thrown around like an insult. If you happen to be on the chubbier side, it doesn’t even matter what your size is, you must have been called things like whale, pig, and elephant from time to time. They aren’t even hurled at you with cruelty, they are often nicknames given to you by loved ones. On some level, of course, they are meant to hurt.
It’s high time we acknowledge that fat is not a bad word, it is just a neutral descriptor of the state of your physical being. Here’s why we need to stop using it as an insult.
There is nothing wrong in having a bit of extra fat in your body.
Yes your tummy juts out, your thighs jiggle, and your body has more curves than plains. So what? You are so many amazing things – you are kind, you are smart, you are compassionate (hopefully). Why does all of this get overshadowed by the fact that you have a bit more adipose tissue under your skin than others? The shape and size of your body is unique, and it sets you apart. The world would be a very boring place if we all looked the same.
But being fat is not your whole identity.
You are interested in a million different things. You love art, you love talking about atoms and the universe, you love laughing at puppies who walk like drunk humans – you are a whole person. If you also happen to be fat, then it is just a part of who you are.
Having fat in your body means you can stay warmer during winter.
Having a thicker layer of fat is just like having an extra layer of clothing on, except it is right beneath your skin. Since the extra fat insulates your body’s core, there are fewer chances of you dying of hypothermia. How is that not a good thing? Everything has a purpose, and so does your extra layer of body fat.
Being fat doesn’t say anything about your attractiveness.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is more than just a saying. Physical attractiveness differs from person to person, and, no, finding a fat person attractive has got nothing to do with fetishism. You can be tall and thin, and fall madly in love with a short and round person, and we promise you that the world will not end. The laws of attraction are much less savage than the unkind and shallow perceptions of beauty that our world seems to thrive on.
Being fat doesn’t mean you aren’t healthy.
You can have thick thighs and arms, and still be able to run marathons, go on hikes, and do a myriad other amazing things with your body. You can be perfectly healthy and be fat at the same time. Say that to the next doctor who tries to fat shame you even though you went to see them for a sore throat. Say that to the next aunty who tells you to eat less to look pretty. Say that to yourself in the mirror the next time a voice of doubt starts raising its ugly head inside your brain.
Even if you are fat and unhealthy, it doesn’t give anyone the right to dehumanise you.
You know why you don’t deserve to be reduced to a bad joke? Because, healthy or not, you are still a person deserving of love and respect. No one goes to a comatose patient and shouts at them about how ugly they are. No one would harass you if you had any other kind of health issues, and you wouldn’t entertain it either. Then why allow someone to make you feel bad about yourself because of their false concern for your health? When you choose a journey towards healthy living it needs to start from a place of self-love, not self-loathing.
Because you are more than your body.
Fat is just a state of your physical being. Who you are depends on how your brain works, how your heart feels, and how your soul soothes others. You need to take the negativity that the word fat is mired in and destroy it. You won’t change as a person if you become fat one day, your insecurities won’t go away if you become thin one day either, especially if you forget all about loving yourself for who you are.
The moment you open your eyes to the fact that fat is just a word, that there is nothing ugly about it, is the moment that all its negative power will vanish. So what if you are, indeed, fat, how does it make you a bad person? How does it make you any less worthy of love and respect?
Fat is an adjective, not an insult. Originally it was a word created to describe a person’s size. We’re reclaiming that meaning. Fat does not mean lazy, sloppy, clumsy, unworthy, etc. Fat is just the size of a person and fat people are diverse and beautiful.
If you’d like to learn more about the reclamation of the word fat here are some great articles on the subject:
‘Fat Is Not A Bad Word’ by Fatima Mohammed.
‘Fat Is Not A Bad Word’ by Ashleigh Shackelford.
‘When Did Fat Become An Insult?’ by Ashley Austrew.
The Story
«Fat» is not a bad word. Yep, you can read that again. But it’s time we talk about fatness and fat stigma.
What do you mean?
Anti-fat bias or weight stigma (stereotyping based on body size) has become a clear public health problem. Studies show that fat people are often mistreated by strangers, as well as family, friends, and doctors, who could fail to screen them for certain cancers or overlook certain diagnoses. That’s all despite the fact that being “overweight” (we put that in quotes for a reason, which we’ll get into later) doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unhealthy. What’s worse: Data shows that weight stigma damages mental health and, in fact, is harmful to physical health, too.
How’d we get here?
Well, we’ve been here for a while. Sure, fuller bodies were the subjects of statues thousands of years ago. But the corset has been holding in waists for hundreds of years. Even in the early 20th century, only curves with tiny waists were prized — and that was decades before the Kardashians. The Western idealized body type has gotten smaller and smaller ever since (and is typically white…more on that in this book). Enter: the fat liberation or “fat acceptance” movement, which emerged alongside other liberation movements of the ‘60s and ‘70s as a way to celebrate big bodies and fight against weight stigma. (It would take decades before medical journals would quantify just how dangerous weight stigma is.) Today, many activists use the word “fat” to reclaim it as a neutral adjective to describe body size, and to push back against fatphobia (another word for anti-fat bias or weight stigma).
What can we do about it?
Learn about weight stigma, and understand the real meanings of relevant terms. And also confront the ways society has shaped how you think about bodies.
OK, let’s talk.
We called up experts Kimmie Singh, a registered dietitian nutritionist who identifies as a fat-positive provider, and Alissa Rumsey, a registered dietitian and nutrition therapist who wrote Unapologetic Eating, to give us theSkimm on fatness, diet culture, and weight stigma…
Fat
-
Some context…Merriam Webster defines “fat” as “notable for having an unusual amount of fat.” Some activists repeat the word to normalize it, while others avoid it because it’s long been used as an insult. Despite what a billboard may say, ‘fat’ is not a feeling.
-
Rumsey says…“Many people, especially within the fat acceptance and fat liberation movements, choose to use the word ‘fat’ as a neutral adjective to describe body size, like short or tall. It’s similar to some of the things we’re seeing now with the word ‘queer.’ People in fat bodies are kind of reclaiming this word.”
-
Singh says…“Folks have used ‘heavier,’ ‘people of size,’ ‘bigger’ or ‘larger-bodied,’ but I prefer the word ‘fat.’ I think it’s really important to neutralize that word. I know that can make people really uncomfortable. And I also think it’s important that we listen to fat activists who have been describing themselves as fat since the [late] ‘60s.”
BMI
-
Some context…It stands for “body mass index.” BMI is meant to measure body fat based on height and weight. Doctors use it to assess whether someone is at greater risk of certain health conditions, because it’s considered a quick way to get an idea of someone’s overall health and weight status. But many people have deemed the measurement BS or even racially biased.
-
Singh says…“BMI was created by a mathematician, and it wasn’t created to be a medical tool. He was using it to look at the proportion of different body sizes in a population. Research shows that using BMI leads to misdiagnosis of people as ‘unhealthy’ or even ‘fat’ according to their BMI, even if they’re metabolically healthy.”
-
Rumsey says…“The body mass index is based upon an equation from the early 1800s that was primarily used for white European men…It’s not a representative sample of the general population and doesn’t account for any differences in average body sizes in other ethnic groups.”
Obesity and overweight
-
Some context…These O-words are the weight statuses that the BMI chart gives to adults who have upwards of a 25% (for “overweight”) or 30% (for “obese”) weight to height ratio. And they’re terms many people find harmful. One reason: Doctors tend to overlook certain medical conditions (and instead focus on weight loss) when treating people with these identifiers.
-
Singh says…“‘Overweight’ and ‘obese’ are words that I consider to be terms of stigma and fatphobic slurs because they’re used to discriminate against fat people. They’ve historically been used from the BMI ranges of what’s considered an unhealthy body, so that’s why I recommend people stay away from those words.”
-
Rumsey says…“The word ‘obese’ actually comes from a Latin word, obesus, which means ‘having eaten until fat.’ That’s a super stigmatizing word, especially how it’s used now, when it can be a diagnosable sort of condition. That’s why you’ll see quotes or some people will put asterisks (i.e. ob*sity), so they’re not spelling out the whole word, to kind of signify that we don’t recognize them as official terms or agree with what they signify. As for overweight, ‘over’ what? Humans, we are so binary.”
Diet culture
-
Some context…Fad diets come and go, but the societal desire to be thin remains. Diet culture describes the forces that encourage an ongoing pursuit of thinness. Think: looking at before and after photos, focusing on eating only “good” foods as part of a strict regimen, and comparing yourself to filtered Instagram models. Many argue that diet culture is harmful and unhealthy, both because it fuels weight stigma and because data shows that dieting usually doesn’t even lead to long-term weight loss.
-
Singh says…“Diet culture is this cultural norm of pursuing thinness at all costs, pursuing fitness in the hopes that your life will become amazing. And it’s painted as ‘if you can kind of get your food and movement under control in a certain way, everything else will just fall into place.’ And I feel like it upholds these really disordered views on bodies, food, and health.”
-
Rumsey says…“Certainly in the US but also in a lot of other Westernized countries, diet culture equates thinness to health, to happiness, to attractiveness, to worthiness. It’s this overarching system of beliefs where to be thin is to be better and morally superior, whereas to be fat is to be seen as unhealthy, as lazy, as a failure. We’re taught this, not just from families, but it permeates everywhere in our culture: health care, the media, all kinds of different places.”
Body positivity
-
Some context…The term «body positivity» grew out of the fat acceptance movement and can be interpreted as honoring and embracing bigger bodies — across all genders and races — in a society that has often dismissed them. Today, some people think of it as having a generally good perception of the way they look, aka having a positive body image.
-
Singh says…“Fat activists created body positivity to recognize the oppression that fat people experience. Now, I feel like it’s something seen as having a positive body image.”
-
Rumsey says…“As a thin person, everywhere I look — from movies to books — I see myself reflected. You can’t say the same thing for fat people. Body positivity really began as a way to center and celebrate bodies that are historically relegated to the margins of society. It was originally part of the fat liberation movement and meant for fat folks.»
Body neutrality
-
Some context…Yes, this is different from “body positivity.” It’s about accepting your body as it is. And for some people that means separating your physical body from your self-worth.
-
Singh says…“Body neutrality can be a great first step or a first goal for someone that’s really struggling with not feeling so great about their body. I like to frame it as: Think of having a roommate you might not love all the time. [They] might not look or act how you want [them to], you might have some strong negative feelings toward [them], but try to coexist with this roommate.”
-
Rumsey says…“‘Body neutrality’ [could be a useful concept for] people who find that the idea of loving their body or feeling positive about their body is really out of reach. Other people find that body neutrality doesn’t sit well for them, because, especially for folks who live in marginalized bodies or live in a body that is marginalized by our society, the world is not neutral with how it judges and treats them. So for some people, they find that the term ‘body neutrality’ can feel invalidating.”
HAES
-
Some context…HAES (pronounced “hays”) stands for “Health At Every Size.” It’s a registered trademark of the nonprofit Association for Size Diversity and Health, which began in 2003. But it’s the hashtag (#HAES) that you might’ve seen on your feed (especially if you follow a bunch of nutritionists). It describes a holistic approach to eating and living that doesn’t focus on weight loss and thinness.
-
Singh says…“[HAES] came from folks that were really passionate about recognizing that diets don’t work and that fat people can engage in health-promoting behaviors, which research shows is more likely to have a healthier outcome than focusing on weight loss. As a HAES provider, it means that I try to work with folks to focus on ways that they can feel better in their body and improve their relationship with food, without focusing on weight loss.”
-
Rumsey says…”The tenets of the HAES framework began decades before it became a registered trademark, with the work of fat activists and the fat liberation movement that came out of the [late] 1960s. It rejects the use of weight or BMI as a proxy for health. Instead, it promotes and works to support people, no matter what their size, no matter their weight, in finding more compassionate ways to take care of themselves.”
Intuitive eating
-
Some context…It’s the idea that you should listen to your body about what and when and how much to eat, and was coined more than 25 years ago by registered dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. But it’s gotten renewed attention in the last couple years as a way to reject diet culture.
-
Rumsey says…“[Intuitive eating] is a framework that is really a non-diet, self-care approach to nutrition, health, and wellbeing. It helps people get back into their bodies and make decisions based upon their body’s inner wisdom, rather than following external restrictions or outside sources, like counting calories, eating certain foods, or avoiding certain foods.”
-
Singh says… “One of the biggest misconceptions that I hear about intuitive eating is that it encourages people to ‘just eat anything and everything.’ It’s important to have permission to eat a variety of foods, but I find that people want to progress past this part of intuitive eating to learn more about eating foods that help them feel both pleasure and nourishment. It’s important to mention that this part, and some other parts of intuitive eating, are only accessible to those that have the privilege of affording consistent nourishment.
Thin privilege
-
Some context…“Thin privilege” describes how people in relatively smaller bodies may have an advantage in everyday life without realizing it, from the fact that clothing stores readily carry their size, to how strangers might not judge what they eat in public. The concept is similar to “white privilege.”
-
Singh says…“Someone can experience thin privilege and not have to worry about experiencing weight stigma, fitting in airplane seats comfortably, or being bullied explicitly because of their size. I generally remind folks that wherever there’s oppression, there’s also privilege. A lot of people mistake thin privilege for having positive body image. They might experience negative body image and be uncomfortable in their body, and still have thin privilege.”
-
Rumsey says…“The term ‘privilege’ can make people bristle. I think it’s important to think about the privileges that you hold as a human. They may have nothing to do with how you feel about yourself but are about how society treats you. And just because you have certain privileges does not mean that your life still hasn’t been hard. It just means that you haven’t been treated differently by society because of the size of your body…People don’t necessarily have to acknowledge it all the time like I do, because I’m [taking up room] in a space that was created by and for fat people. But we do really have to be cognizant of how we’re talking about bodies, our own and others.”
theSkimm
People with fat bodies have historically been stigmatized in the US, even though studies show that weight is not necessarily a measurement of health. That’s a problem. A way to be a part of the solution: Listen and learn from fat activists, acknowledge that thin privilege is real, and know that accepting your body at any size can take time — people have been reckoning with it for centuries.
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute a medical opinion, medical advice, or diagnosis or treatment of any particular condition.
Fat has become the F word. Fat has become an insult to mean the opposite of attractive; the opposite of pretty. Fat has become a synonym to ugly, or a term used to demean others. Fat has evolved into a word which implies inferiority and lack of control. It’s a word that the media tells us we should never be. It’s a word that we tell our selves we should never be.
But all of these messages? All of these negative associations?
These are all lies.
Because here’s the thing: fat is not a bad word. Let me say that again. Actually, better yet, let me shout it: FAT IS NOT A BAD WORD. Fat is by no means the F word. Fat is not a word to be afraid of. It’s not a word we need to avoid. Fat is not an insult, and fat does not imply inferiority. Fat is not mean. Fat is not scary. Fat is not ugly. Fat is simply a word, with no inherent goodness or badness. Fat is a characteristic; an adjective. It’s nothing more.
Some of us are tall, some of us are short. Some of us are skinny, some of us are fat. The amount of fat we have on our bodies is just another characteristic of our appearance. It’s no different than our hair color or our height. It’s simply a part of how we look.
We don’t shame people for their height or eye color. So why do we shame people for their bodies?
Society has done a great disservice to all of us all by teaching us that fatness implies inferiority. By turning the word fat from a neutral adjective into a shameful insult, millions of beautiful people battle with unnecessary low self-esteem and low self-confidence. Society has infiltrated our minds with the belief that thin people are more beautiful, and that thin people have more of a right to feel pretty.
It has led us to believe that we can only feel confident if we are a certain size or a certain weight. Society has taught young children that the worst thing they can be is fat. This is not only embarrassing, this is also heartbreaking. It leaves children to think that their bodies are a problem, or tricks them into thinking that they are not worthy of feeling loved or feeling confident.
We constantly compare ourselves to the thin ideal that popular culture throws in our faces. We believe that if we are different from this idealized image of beauty, we are not good enough. Everywhere we see and hear the same message- the message that thin is pretty, and that fat is not. But this very obviously is not true. This is clearly discriminatory.
You see, some of us are born fat. Some of us are born heavier, or have more curves. And this is where society keeps messing up. Society deems fat people as lazy, or as having no self-control around food. Society sees fatness as a flaw that is avoidable. This is an ignorant and uneducated view, because it neglects to realize that our bodies are intelligent, and that we all have weight set points, or weights in which our bodies are the healthiest.
Those of us who have larger bodies are born into these bodies for a reason. Our bodies are built this way because this is how they should be – this is how our genetics and our environments have shaped us. Our bodies and minds function optimally at a heavier weight. Our body systems and our metabolism function ideally when we are at this weight. In other words, this is our natural set point. This is the weight in which we are the healthiest and the happiest.
While some of us are naturally fat, others of us are naturally thin. For those of us who have thinner bodies, we too have healthy weight set points. We reach our best psychological and physiological wellbeing at a lower weight. This is where our bodies work more fluidly – this is where we are supposed to be. This is where we function optimally.
In other words, weight is rarely an indication of health.
When you think about it, why would we have a weight in which our body functions at equilibrium if it didn’t serve a purpose? If we were all supposed to be thin, we would be thin. But we are supposed to be all different weights. And when we try to diet when we are already at our own healthy weight, our bodies protest. They fight back. They do this for a purpose. The binge urges that spike when we diet? The mood swings? The cravings? These are all emergency alerts telling us that we aren’t satisfied; that something is wrong. These occur because we are depleting ourselves of what we fundamentally need.
You see, our bodies are smarter than we think. Just as we would not try to squeeze our feet into shoes that are four sizes too small, we shouldn’t try to decrease the size of our bodies to reach unrealistic weigh expectations. We all have a set point – and whether we are heavy or light, we are the healthiest when we relax and let ourselves be at this set point.
Fat is just a characteristic. Fat is an adjective. Fat is a description. Fat is beautiful. Fat is healthy. Fat is fat. We don’t need to change our weights. What do we need to do? We need to open our eyes to beauty and health at every size. We need to rebel against society’s lies by accepting our own bodies and the bodies of others. Our bodies do not need to change. Society needs to change.
Fat is a description. Fat is an adjective. Fat is a physical characteristic.
Fat is not the F word. 
In the early hours of this morning, something really interesting happened.
At around 12:30 am, as I was undertaking my nightly Tik Tok scroll to catch a few laughs before bed, I noticed that my friend Sofie had tagged me in a Tik Tok post featuring my ICON Lizzo. As I watched the video, I noticed that she had used one of my tweets which expressed my pride at seeing her on the front cover of Vogue. The tweet said:
I never thought I would see a fat, black woman on the cover of Vogue. Not in my lifetime.
Followed by a torrent of emotional and crying emojis. In the video, Lizzo then goes on to feature several beautiful black plus-sized women on mock covers of Vogue. It was amazing! I commented on the post, acknowledging the awesomeness of not only using my tweet, but featuring beautiful fat black women.
This didn’t go so well with a lot of her fans. Over the next 2 hours, I received a barrage of abuse from fans, accusing me of being a hater, calling me ugly, a horrible person and threats to hack into my social media and email accounts, which a few later tried to do. I was…confused to say the least. It wasn’t until a couple of minutes later that I realised why: my use of the word ‘fat’ in describing Lizzo had offended her fans, and in turn, they assumed I was being negative.
The word ‘fat’ has a complicated place in our history. As an adjective, it joins words like tall, short, hairy, white, black, athletic and fluffy. Unlike these descriptors, however, ‘fat’ is framed as a negative descriptive word, and associated with ugliness, laziness, and is often used as an insult.
According to Wikipedia, historically, ‘fat’ had a number of positive meanings. In the late 1300s, fat land was “fertile” and “abundant.” In the 1600s, a fat person could be “wealthy” or “affluent.” It wasn’t until the 1940s-1950s that the word fat started to hold negative associations, as the ideology of thinness as an aesthetic ideal began to spread. From there, new diets began to pop up to encourage people to undertake low and often extreme food intakes in order to achieve the perfect body. Instead of framing dieting around health, it was framed around thinness and associating that with looking and feeling better.
Scientific research has shown MANY TIMES, however, that diets, no matter the type, do not work on a lasting basis for many people. Hence the ongoing splurge of new diets being touted to gullible people. More importantly, there are many reasons why a person may be bigger, and that does not make us moral failures.
Why we should stop using ‘fat’ as an insult
Basically, fat is a constant source of shame and ridicule. Did you know that research showed that kids as young as four would not want to be friends with a fat child? Other research has shown that more than half of doctors discriminate and described their fat patients as ‘ugly’ and ‘non-compliant’ when it came to recommending them for further treatment.
Furthermore, fat-shaming and weight-stigmatizing can hurt people’s health and well-being. fat-shaming has been associated with weight gain, despite some people’s misguided and idiotic beliefs that they can bully people into losing weight. Fat-shaming is also associated with an increase in the risk of depression and low self-esteem. Fat people are often misdiagnosed at the doctor and have medical concerns overlooked or ignored. Weight discrimination may even shorten life expectancies in some cases.
Not only is it used against us negatively in an individual setting, but it is used at a systemic level to oppress a large demographic of people, leaving us unable to receive the proper healthcare we deserve, the jobs we are worthy of having, and the respect and decency that we are deserving of having in public.
Reclaiming the word
I started reclaiming the word fat only a couple of years ago, as I realised that the word no longer had any power over me and my emotions anymore. I was able to unlearn the toxic associations and fatphobia surrounding that word and just see it for what it was: an adjective that described my body type. I get to shift what was once used as a mechanism to break my spirit and throw me into the depths of depression, into something that offers a source of power and pride. It’s a reminder of all that I’ve come from, and all that I will go on to do.
Photography by Kaye Ford
A lot of us within the fat acceptance and body positivity use the word to describe ourselves frequently, only to be met with responses such as ‘you’re not fat! You’re beautiful!’. Responses like this are harmful and toxic because as innocent as your intentions, you are still associating fatness with ugliness, and that in itself still makes you fatphobic. It is up to you to undertake the journey of unlearning problematic and toxic behaviours associated with the word fat. Fat is not an indication of value, health, beauty, or performance. Fat is absolutely NOT the worst thing a human being can be. Fat does not mean that one is unhealthy, lazy, stupid, dirty, immoral, or unworthy of love and respect.
Fat is a noun. Fat is an adjective. Fat is not an insult, and it’s time for society and culture to stop doing harm to fat people by treating their body type like it’s a bad word.