In This Article
What is love? Love is an emotion that we know has the power to move mountains. People have lived and died in love, lived and died for love. Love is the basis of all our relationships – whether romantic, platonic, or family.
However, as much as people feel love for someone, and feel loved by someone, it’s not easy to describe the feeling. Love is pretty abstract and can be difficult to define. If you want to know more, here are a hundred interesting facts about love you probably didn’t know.
What is love?
All people, whether they have a partner or not, often ask the question, what is love? Is love unconditional? Does love mean being with the same person all your life? Love can mean different things to different people. To know more about what love is, read this article.
Related Reading: What Is Love?
What is so special about love?
Love is a very special feeling. Anyone who has felt love in their lifetime will agree that it is one of the strongest emotions humans can feel. The special thing about love is that apart from giving you unconditional love to your partner, love also teaches you a lot of other significant lessons in life.
Love teaches you to be kind, compassionate, and selfless. It helps you put others over you, be kind and empathetic to them, and be able to look over others’ imperfections.
10 fun facts about love
Here are ten fun facts about love that will wow you.
1. Monogamy is not just for humans
You may think that monogamous relationships are just for humans. However, one of the fun facts about love is that various species in the animal kingdom commit to life-long relationships and live with only one partner throughout their lives.
Related Reading: Monogamous Relationship – Meaning and Dynamics
2. Being in love is like being high on drugs
Many researchers have found that being in love gives you the same feeling as being on drugs. Love can make you do things that feel irrational, things that you never thought you would do. Research suggests that falling in love can feel like a dose of cocaine.
3. You can fall in love in as less as four minutes
Turns out, falling in love does not take as long as we think. It is proven that you can fall in love in as few as four minutes. It only takes four minutes to make the first impressions, and that is why it is said that you must pay attention to your body language and presence.
Related Reading: How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love
4. Opposites attract is not a myth
Everyone has heard the saying, “opposites attract,” but many people think it might not be true. Another fun fact about love is that having different interests and hobbies as individuals can actually help couples be more spontaneous and have a loving, lasting relationship. However, this does not mean that people with similar interests can’t have happy relationships.
5. Adventure can make you feel more in love
There is a reason experts ask people to bring in some adventure and spontaneity in their relationship. Going on an adventure with someone where some risky situations may be involved is likely to make you both fall in love deeper and quicker than when you are in a mundane life together.
6. Cuddling with the person you love can relieve physical pain
Cuddling with someone you love releases a hormone named oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone. Love, therefore, is not just about emotions. The fun fact about love is that cuddling with your partner can relieve you of physical pain as well.
7. Intense eye contact can make you fall in love
Looking into each other’s eyes can make you feel very close to someone. Even if you do this with a stranger, you will likely feel emotions like love and intimacy.
Related Reading: 10 Powers of Eye Contact in a Relationship
8. Face or body attraction means something
Whether you feel attracted to someone based on their face or body says something about what kind of a relationship you want with them. If you feel attracted to their body, you are likely to be looking for a fling, while if you feel attracted to their face, you want a long-term relationship with them.
9. Attraction can be obsessive
When we feel attracted to someone, our body releases hormones that give us a high. Such attraction could be an obsessive trait since the body craves this high, and we like to be around the person we feel attracted to.
10. Butterflies in your stomach are a real feeling
The saying about feeling butterflies in your stomach when you see the person you love is a real thing. The sensation is caused by a rush of adrenaline in your body; the hormone triggered when you are put in ‘fight or flight’ situations.
Psychological facts about love
So many movies and songs depict love because it has a significant impact on how people react and behave around us. Here are a few psychological facts about love that you may not be aware of:
1. Three love components
Love is indeed an indescribable emotion; however, Dr. Helen Fischer divides it into three parts: attraction, lust, and attachment. The brain processes these three emotions together when you are deeply in love with someone.
2. Love changes you
Are you not the same person you were before you fell in love? That is natural. Being in love alters our personality and perception of things. We can become more open to things that our lover is into, or we may even become more optimistic about things.
3. Love affects bonding with others
Love involves the release of the “happy hormone,” dopamine. This hormone gives you a high that makes you feel positive and open to bonding with others. You will find yourself not only open to bonding with your partner but also establishing stronger connections with everyone in your life
4. Love makes you brave
Love leads to the deactivation of the amygdala in the brain, which regulates fear. Thus, you are less scared of outcomes and consequences when in love. You experience a fearlessness and bravery that you wouldn’t usually feel.
5. Love under control
Research shows that people can manage their love for someone. For example, by forcing yourself to think about all the negative aspects of their personality, you can decrease the love, while thinking about the positives would increase it.
6. Love and overall well-being
Experiencing love on an everyday basis has been proven to contribute to the overall psychological well-being of a person. They are more optimistic, motivated, and inspired to do better.
7. Lust and love
Comparing love and lust reveals that there are overlapping sensations that make it hard to distinguish between the two. They can be seen on the same spectrum, where love expands with these responses with habit formation and expectancy of reciprocity.
Related Reading: How to Understand Love vs Lust: 5 Signs and Differences
8. Romantic desire in the brain
People feel their attraction towards someone based on the activity in specific areas of their brain. Sometimes this judgment can take a couple of seconds, while sometimes it takes longer.
9. Ideal standards of love
Popular narratives of love in movies and songs present an idealistic version of love that may not be realistic. These examples of ‘perfect love’ have a direct impact on the idealistic expectations of romantic love that people may continue to have.
10. Love and selection
Research shows that people are attracted to others based on their own self-worth. They will gravitate towards people who are similarly placed in terms of their physical attractiveness, accomplishments, and social standing.
Related Reading: Love and Marriage Psychology Facts
True love facts
Is true love something you have been yearning for? There are various aspects of what true love really implies that can impact your approach towards it. Find them out here:
1. Different stages of love
One has different reactions at the start of a relationship that are different from the ones that they feel when it is a long-term romantic attachment. Research has shown that in addition to activity in the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) area of the brain, there is also activity in the Ventral Pallidum region linked with maternal love.
Related Reading: The 5 Stages of Love Couples Go Through
2. The initial stress
Do they love me? Are we moving in the same direction? Stress is a noticeable component of the initial stages of love as there is an observed decrease in the cortisol levels in the body, which in turn enhances the stress response of the body.
3. Broken Heart syndrome
A broken heart can kill you! Takotsubo Cardiopathy is the term used to describe the stress-induced heart attacks observed in people who have recently lost their loved ones. The risk is particularly high during the first few weeks of losing your lover.
Also Try: Are You Suffering From Broken Heart Syndrome Quiz
4. Brain, not heart
The heart is the organ of the human body that is often associated with love and how we feel for someone. The fluctuating heartbeats are seen as a sign. However, the brain is the part of the human body where various activities in specific areas of the brain indicate love and lead to changes in the heartbeats.
5. Love and the immune system
Heard the term “lovesick?” But can love really make you unwell? Yes, it can. True love leads to the release of cortisol, which can lower someone’s immune system response when they first fall in love.
6. Love evolves over time
Initially, when one falls in love, the desire that one has for their partner can cause stress and unmanageable euphoria. However, this settles over time as the anxiety over it lowers considerably. Scientists have referred to this as the evolution from romantic love to lasting love.
7. Better heart health
Maintaining a long-term romantic commitment can be stressful at times, but the verdict is out: married couples in love have better cardiovascular health overall. They have 5 percent lesser chances of any form of heart risk or complication.
8. Love and hate
The deeper you love someone in a relationship, the stronger is your hatred for them if your relationship falls apart. Intense love signifies an invested state of mind where your mind and body are completely caught up in the state of your relationship. Therefore, if things go wrong, hurt and hate are also significantly high.
9. Love is long lasting
Late couple Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher broke the Guinness world record for the longest marriage in history back in February 2011. They had been married for 86 years and 290 days at that time.
10. Love and similarity with OCD
A decrease in serotonin levels marks Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) due to the high levels of anxiety that one experiences. A study has shown that scientists have seen a similar decrease in people who are in love.
Cute facts about love
Love is a marvelous feeling that can make you smile from ear to ear. There are tiny things about it that make it special, endearing, and cherishable. Here are some:
1. Synched heart rates
Love is such a significant factor that it has been observed that the heartbeats of older couples sync together. Their closeness to each other creates an intricate interaction between how their hearts beat together.
2. Give me love, give me chocolate
Be it in movies or during Valentine’s Day, the link between chocolate and lovers is evident. However, scientists have found that eating chocolate can momentarily make one feel the same way they do when they are in love by releasing serotonin.
3. Hold my hand
Feeling anxious? Are nerves driving you crazy? Just go ahead and hold the hand of the one you love as it will calm you down and reassure your nervous state of mind, as per research conducted on people’s behavior.
4. Kissing is not just for arousal
It is foolhardy to associate kissing with only sexuality and mate selection. It is a way for a couple to establish comfort and bond with each other. It especially becomes a marker of intimacy and connection in long-term relationships.
5. That mutual loving gaze
Mutually gazing at each can stimulate a love for each other. The levels of intimacy, romantic, love and passion significantly increase when you look into each other’s eyes for some time.
6. Expressing love
It is a misconception that women are better at expressing their love than men when they are in love. Survey shows that both genders are affectionate when in love, but there are subtle differences in these affectionate acts.
7. Long-distance relationships’ magic
Couples can form a stronger bond despite being in a long-distance relationship as the focus can turn towards regular and deliberate communication. Meaningful interactions can make these relationships even stronger than the ones where couples stay close to each other.
8. Saying, “I love you.”
Women are considered to be the ones that fall more quickly in love; however, a study shows that men are quicker to fall in love and confess their love compared to women.
9. Funny love
Humor and love are a great combination. It has been observed that a positive partner-perceived sense of humor significantly impacts relationship satisfaction and the longevity of love between couples.
10. Love at first sight
Research shows that love at first sight is possible if you are attracted to the other person’s physical attributes and personality. But in addition, the other person should reciprocate the feelings and have similar traits as you.
Random facts about love
Love is so much deeper than romantic dates and heartfelt I Love You. Know some random facts about love and certain benefits:
1. Online dating and love
As per research by Pew conducted in 2020, 30% of U.S. adults use an online dating app and 12% of the people said that they have married someone they met via these apps.
2. Origin of the word Love
Where does the word love even come from? Apparently, from the Sanskrit word lubhyati, which means desire.
3. The power of gratitude
One of the feel-good random facts about love tells us that expressing gratitude to a loved one can make us instantly happier. So go on, make days happier for yourself and your loved ones too.
4. The stages of love
According to science, the falling in love stage, which is called romantic love and is associated with euphoria and butterflies, lasts for about a year and is later replaced with a more stable form, called the committed love stage.
5. Men vs. women in love
Women often feel more loved and in love in face-to-face conversations with their partners. While for men, it is the working, playing, or conversing side by side that does the trick.
6. The effect of love
Another feel-good random fact about love is that the very act of falling in love is known to have a calming effect on the body and mind and, in fact, raises the level of nerve growth for about a year.
7. Compassion affects your brain’s chemistry
Compassion impacts the brain activities related to empathy and positive emotions. It is also responsible for reducing the activation of fear centers. This makes the brains of two people more interconnected which contributes to a secure attachment pattern.
8. The color red
The legends were right. Red is the magic color. Seemingly, men are more attracted to and likely to engage in deeper conversations with women wearing red.
9. Live longer as you kiss
Love also has health benefits. Just one of the random facts about love is that men who kiss their wives are thought to live five years longer.
10. Being supportive
What makes a relationship work? It is indeed being supportive. How you react to your partner’s big news is what it comes down to in the end.
11. Why love is blind
When we are looking at a new love, our neural circuits, which are usually associated with social judgment, are suppressed, which honestly really makes love blind.
Weird facts about love
Check out these weird facts about love that are surely going to blow your mind:
1. Love improves well-being
As you go on improving the quality time spent with your partner, your personal well-being improves as well.
2. Recovering from breakup
Recovering from a breakup is not an easy feat. In fact, recovering from a breakup is similar to kicking an addiction, and this is completely sourced from science.
Related Reading: The 7 Stages of a Breakup and Tips to Heal Faster
3. Socializing in love
An average human will spend approximately 1,769 days socializing with someone they love.
4. Love and happiness
Love really is the cornerstone of happiness and life fulfillment, as is gathered from interviews of a set of people above 75 who admitted to the happiness mostly revolving around love or simply searching for it.
5. Husbands are soulmates?
Another weird fact about love is that more than half of the married women do not actually believe that their husbands are, in fact, their soulmates.
6. Unproductivity in love
If you’ve got things to do, you might think a bit before falling in love as being in love makes you less productive.
7. Connection with food
Brain scans have revealed that women are more responsive to romantic stimuli after eating rather than before.
8. Men and emotions
Statistically, men are both more likely to say “I love you” In a relationship and more likely to go through severe emotional pain after a breakup.
9. Times you fall in love
Most people will fall in love approximately seven times before marriage.
10. Communication is the key
Last of the weird facts about love which in retrospect is only to be expected, is that the longer and more deliberate the knowing or talking stage, the more likely a relationship is to succeed. Strong, intense romances are also likely to be short-lived.
To learn how to fix the communication in your relationship, watch Coach Natalie of Happily Committted as she gives you tips for improving communication between you and your partner:
Human facts about love
Check out these facts about love in connection with human beings:
1. Broken heart syndrome
Heartbreak is not just a romantic metaphor but a real phenomenon that is real and intense emotional stress that weakens your heart. This is known as broken heart syndrome and has real symptoms like chest pain and shortness of breath.
2. Roses on Valentine’s
Ever thought about why lovers exchange red roses on Valentine’s Day? Well, it’s because these flowers represent the Roman goddess of love – Venus.
3. The immune system connection
Humans are intrinsically interesting, and so are the ways we love. Another one of the human facts about love is that we actually find people with different immune systems than ours more attractive to us.
4. The connection with the chemical makeup
We also choose partners whose chemical makeup compliments our own. So if you have a high level of estrogen in your bodily makeup, you are most likely to fall for someone with a high level of testosterone in them.
5. Heartbeat synchronicity
Couples who are in love synchronize their heart rates as they gaze into each other’s eyes, hence the giddiness probably.
6. Cocaine effects in love
Here is a proof of the intensity of love and the crowning feather of human facts about love. Apparently falling in love is comparable to taking a dose of cocaine in terms of emotional effects.
7. Daydreaming in love
All of those daydreaming thoughts of your love, the reminders of love, influence more abstract and creative thinking.
8. Love builds focus
While that’s that, spicy scenarios and reminders of sex trigger concrete thinking, on the other hand. This helps build focus on momentary details of a task.
9. Changes while falling in love
If you’ve been catching yourself acting differently at the beginning of a new relationship, science has the answer. At an early stage of love, we have a lower level of serotonin and a higher level of cortisol, which is linked to stress and hence the acting different.
10. Smelling your way into love
No matter what their gender, humans are drawn to a person depending on how they smell and how much they are innately drawn to that smell.
Deep facts about love
Here are some deep facts about love that you can’t miss reading. Some of these facts are lesser-known to most people.
1. Love triggers euphoria-inducing chemicals
When you fall in love, it boosts the production of a few euphoria-inducing chemicals in your brain. These chemicals stimulate about 12 areas of the brain at one time.
2. Love can cause stress
Some studies suggest that you are more likely to be stressed than happy when you fall in love. People have low serotonin levels responsible for feeling happy and high cortisol levels responsible for stress.
3. You fall in love according to the priorities
Studies suggest that when people look for a fling or a casual relationship, they fall in love with appearance. Emotional and mental compatibility evaluation is involved when people look for a long-term commitment.
4. Some people can’t experience love
Not all of us are lucky enough to know how wonderful love is. Some people have never felt romantic love in their entire life. Such people suffer from a rare condition called hypopituitarism. The condition doesn’t allow a person to feel the thrill of love.
5. Vein of love
Greek believed that the fourth finger of the left hand had a vein that led directly to the heart. They called it -vena amoris. However, the claim stands incorrect as almost all the fingers have a vein that leads to the heart.
Most people still believe that it is true, and as a symbol of love, they wear their engagement rings on the fourth finger of the left hand.
6. Love resembles chaos
The demigod of love, Cupid, also known as Eros, has come from ‘The Yawning Void,’ which means chaos. Hence, it is believed that the primitive forces of love represent desire and chaos.
7. The parent symbolism
Some psychologists and studies have suggested that people fall in love with someone similar to their loved one or parent and possibly have unresolved issues. They suggest that such people look for a solution to their childhood issues in adulthood.
8. Love helps you heal faster
According to a study conducted at the Ohio State University Medical Center on married couples, it was observed that having a caring partner around helps wounds heal twice as faster as compared to an aggressive partner.
9. Slow and steady love flourishes
It is believed that people who have an intense Hollywood style relationship, in the beginning, grow apart later. However, people who take it slow, take their time and invest their emotions time are likely to build a strong relationship foundation.
10. Red is the color of love
You must have heard that men like women who wear red versus women who wear other colors. A research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests that men are attracted to women who wear red because they appear to be more receptive.
Cool facts about love
Do you want to know some cool facts about love? Here are some facts that are not usual and might leave you astonished.
1. Human sweat is used for perfume
Human sweat contains pheromones that are responsible for attractions. For ages, human sweat has been used for perfumes and love potions.
2. The heart hasn’t always represented love
The heart hasn’t always been used as a symbol of love. It started being a love symbol in the 1250s; before that, the heart represented foliage.
3. Some people don’t want to fall in love
Believe it or not, some people fear falling in love. The condition is called Philophobia. It is also associated with the fear of commitment or relationships.
4. Love in the skies
About one in every 50 travelers has met the love of their lives while traveling via plane. This was found in a survey conducted on 5000 travelers by HSBC.
5. A lot of people are searching love
Every day almost 3 million first dates happen. A lot of people are looking for love. So if you haven’t met someone already, don’t lose hope.
6. Love doesn’t always mean soulmate
A study suggests that around 52% of women admitted that their husbands aren’t their soulmates. According to New Oxford American, the term soulmate is defined as a person who is suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
7. Love demands time
A person spends 6.8% of their life socializing with people they love or think can be possible lovers in the future This. 6.8% is equivalent to 1769 days.
8. You can’t ignore someone you love
Psychological researchers suggest that people who try to avoid missing someone they love, their brain tricks them into missing them even more.
9. Love finds you
Psychologists suggest that most people fall in love when they are not actually looking for it. Love indeed finds you.
10. Love is everything
A 75-year long study conducted by a group of researchers at Harvard has shown that love is all that people care about, and it is all that matters. People who participated in the study shared their experiences related to happiness, and they all revolved around love.
Conclusion
Love is everywhere, in our lives, in psychology, biology, history, etc. All these facts about love are equally important and enlightening. You may have understood what love is and why you should always believe in it. If you are with the love of your life, celebrate it, and if not, don’t worry love will find its way to you.
Though being in a relationship comes with its downsides, it’s worth suffering through those melancholy moments just to reap the many benefits that love has to offer. At the end of the day, being in love can be so rewarding—emotionally, of course, but even on a physical level. It has the capacity to reduce stress, speed the healing process, and even lengthen your lifespan. To highlight some of those amazing benefits, we’ve gathered some facts about love that will make you grateful for this warm and fuzzy emotion, despite how overwhelming it can be at times. And for more on what makes love last a lifetime, check out If You Stay in a Relationship for This Reason, It Won’t Last, Study Says.
Read the original article on Best Life.
That feeling of euphoria you get when you fall in love is the same feeling that substance users experience, according to one study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Both actions trigger the release of happy hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, giving you a natural high (that you hopefully never come down from). For hints that you’re off to a good start, check out 18 Undeniable Signs a First Date Went Well.
Feeling stressed? Hug it out with the person you love. One study conducted by psychiatrists at the University of North Carolina found that when couples embraced, they had increased levels of oxytocin—the hormone responsible for lower stress levels and mood boosts.
Being in a loving relationship impacts your life for the better both emotionally and physically. According to one meta-analysis of more than 3.5 million people nationwide, married individuals up to the age of 50 were 12 percent less likely to experience vascular diseases compared to their divorced or single counterparts. And for more cardiovascular tips, check out This Is the Best Thing You Can Do For Your Heart Health Right Now.
Humans aren’t the only species in the animal kingdom that practice monogamous relationships. Out in the wild, beavers, otters, wolves, seahorses, and barn owls are just some of the 25 Adorable Animals That Mate for Life.
When you and your spouse gaze into one another’s eyes, what’s happening behind the scenes is that your heart rates are syncing up, according to research from scientists at the University of California, Davis. When they analyzed 32 heterosexual couples who sat facing one another for three minutes, the researchers found that their heart rates were nearly identical, and they speculate that this occurred because of the strong link between partners on both an emotional and physical level.
According to a 2013 survey from the pew Research Center, about nine in ten of all Americans cited love as an important reason to get married, compared to just 28 percent of people who said that financial stability was an important factor in whether a couple should wed.
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Now more than ever, divorced individuals are finding love and happiness with new partners and remarriages. In 2013, 23 percent of married people had been divorced at least once before, compared to a much lower 13 percent in 1960.
«[Romantic love] is a very powerfully wonderful addiction when things are going well,» said Helen E. Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, in a 2006 TED Talk. That’s because those hormones that your brain releases when you’re in love are intensely euphoric, so much so that they can make you addicted to love—and the person you’re in love with. For advice on finding someone who makes you feel this way, check out The Biggest Dating Mistake You’re Probably Still Making, Experts Say.
There’s a reason that you love those sacred snuggle sessions so much. Every time you and your partner cuddle, it triggers the release of happiness hormone oxytocin to increase your mood and wellbeing. This phenomenon is so well-documented, in fact, that oxytocin is often referred to as the «cuddling hormone,» or the «love hormone.»
Though love isn’t going to be replacing modern medicine any time soon, it could come in handy if you ever find yourself in some serious pain. One study conducted by researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine found that the warm and fuzzy feeling creates the same response in the brain as painkillers (without any of the harmful potential side effects).
Even the most pessimistic people can change for the better with a little bit of love in their life, at least according to the findings of one study published in the Journal of Personality. After following 245 young couples for nine months, the scientists behind the study found that being in a relationship indirectly made neurotic partners more optimistic and self-confident, presumably thanks to all the positive emotions and experiences associated with the relationship.
When it comes to love and relationships, honesty really is the best policy. One study published in the journal Personal Relationships found that the more honest couples are with one another about how their relationship is going, the more likely they are to last long-term.
People might try to tell you that long-distance relationships can’t and won’t work, but the research out there says otherwise. In fact, according to one study published in the Journal of Communication, not only are long-distance relationships just as successful as regular ones, but they are also more effective in building trust and satisfaction between partners.
If you want to feel closer to your spouse, then consider watching a new comedy series together. In one study published in the journal Personal Relationships, researchers concluded that couples who laughed together were more supportive of one another and more satisfied in their relationship compared to their chuckle-free counterparts.
If you suffer from chronic headaches and can’t find anything to ease the pain, then love might just be the secret solution you’ve been waiting for. When researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine gave subjects with chronic headaches a nasal spray with a dose of oxytocin, or the «love hormone,» in it, they found that 50 percent of participants reported their head pain to be cut in half after four hours, with an addition 27 percent reporting no pain at all in the same timeframe.
You never know where you’ll meet the love of your life. One survey of more than 5,000 travelers conducted by HSBC found that approximately one in every 50 travelers has met their soulmate onboard a plane.
Though women are often perceived as more emotional than their male counterparts, one study published in The Journal of Social Psychology found that it’s actually men who tend to fall in love and say «I love you» quicker. Though they don’t know for sure why this is, the researchers theorize that this is perhaps because females are more wary of getting their hearts broken.
When the Health and Human Services Department analyzed studies that compared marriage and health, one of the shocking things that they found was that married people reported fewer doctor’s visits and shorter hospital stays. «The best logic for this is that human beings have been crafted by evolution to live in closely knit social groups,» Harry Reis, PhD, co-editor of the Encyclopedia of Human Relationships, explained to WebMD. «When that is not happening, the biological systems get overwhelmed.»
Having a loved one by your side when you’re sick or injured doesn’t just provide emotional support. When researchers at Ohio State University Medical Center gave married couples blister wounds, they found that the injuries healed twice as fast when the partners shared a close bond, compared to those who were openly aggressive toward one another.
Having high blood pressure, otherwise known as hypertension, has been linked to everything from heart disease to stroke. Luckily, one study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that simply being happily married contributes to low blood pressure, so don’t forget to thank your husband or wife for keeping you healthy!
When Harvard researchers closely examined the progression of romantic love, they confirmed what anyone who’s ever experienced the emotion has known all along: It develops in phases of intensity, beginning with an obsession and gradually mellowing out into a more mature iteration of itself.
When you find someone who makes you want to be the best version of yourself, your brain responds accordingly. According to one study published in the journal Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, the social connection that comes from being in a loving relationship activates the part of the brain that’s responsible for selflessness and emotional processing.
«For both men and women, how someone smells and whether you are innately drawn to that scent goes a long way in determining your attraction,» relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, explained to Bustle. That’s all thanks to pheromones, chemicals secreted in sweat that can spur sexual arousal.
The next time one of your friends tries to tell you that true love doesn’t exist, just tell them to look up Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher. According to Guinness World Records, the late couple broke the record for the longest marriage in history back in February 2011, having been married at that point for a staggering 86 years and 290 days. As for the secret to their success, the couple once said, «There’s no secret to our marriage—we just did what was needed for each other and our family.»
Like escape from jail to spend time with the person you love. Or at least, that’s exactly what happened with Joseph Andrew Dekenipp, a prisoner in Arizona who broke out of his jail cell just to meet his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.
If you’ve yet to find your soulmate on a site like Match.com or OKCupid, don’t give up just yet. According to a 2020 Pew Research survey, 12 percent of Americans reported finding their spouse or partner on a dating site.
Before she was the Queen of Norway, Queen Sonja was the daughter of a clothing merchant, dating then-Crown Prince Harald in secret. However, Harald eventually made it clear to his father that he would never get married unless the person by his side was Sonja, and the couple wed on August 29, 1968. Sometimes love can conquer all!
Have you ever wondered why you see so many roses around Valentine’s Day? That’s because the bright flowers are the official favorite of Venus, the Roman goddess of love.
Don’t expect your one night stand to turn into something more, at least scientifically speaking. Studies have shown that while being in love activates the regions in the brain connected to empathy, pure and unadulterated lust is connected to the similar but different areas of the brain associated with motivation and reward.
First comes love, then comes marriage—and then comes living longer. According to one study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married individuals were 58 percent less likely to die over an eight-year period compared to those who had never made it to the altar.
According to a study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, your personal well-being increases as you increase the time you put into your romantic relationship. (However, the benefits aren’t the same if you’re not already pretty happy with your partner.)
Per Psychology Today, «Mindfulness and compassion meditations increase activity in brain centers connected with empathy and positive emotions, decrease activation of our fear centers, and make our brains more interconnected—a trait associated with the secure attachment pattern.» In other words, the more you practice compassion for your partner, the easier it will be to understand where they’re coming from and the more connected you’ll feel.
Betty Everett (and Cher) were right: it’s in his kiss. A study in the journal Arch Sex Behavior determined that men and women use early lip-locks to determine whether or not a potential match is right for them, though women put more emphasis on them. The study also states that kissing is also highly valued by couples in long-term relationships, as it helps to keep bonds strong.
A 2017 study reported by Psychology Today found that «love at first sight» isn’t always just a case of looking at the past with rose-colored glasses. Respondents did immediately report falling in love at first sight with potential partners, with men more likely to do so than women. Granted, those strong, initial feelings don’t encapsulate all of what romantic love is, but they can prompt a person to pursue something deeper.
That fluttery feeling you get in your stomach when you meet someone new isn’t a sign that you’ll be together forever. It’s merely a physiological lust response, scientists told NBC News. So there’s no need to worry if you feel calm instead of jittery when your partner walks through the door. «True love is a well-being experience that does not include nervousness or excitement,» neuroscientist Nicole Gravagna, PhD explained, adding that dopamine and endorphins «drop to only mildly elevated levels compared to the pre-relationship level» after the five-year relationship mark.
Love is a miraculous feeling, and it can be proven. The facts about love presented in this article are based on extensive research and numerous studies that have been done on the subject. Even though we all know that being in love is one of the most powerful human conditions, some of the facts and stats listed here might come as a surprise! After all, it turns out love is a truly complex wonder of nature. Let’s get started!
Fascinating Facts About Love
- It only takes four minutes to decide whether or not you like someone. (Mind Body Green)
- Only one-fifth of a second is needed for people to fall in love. (Mind Body Green)
- Men fall in love faster than women. (Glamour)
- Love truly is a drug – it’s just as addicting as cocaine! (The Guardian)
- Facts about relationships reveal that kissing is more important for a happy relationship than sex. (Healthline)
- Women are more attracted to men with a strong sense of humour – they associate this trait with honesty and intelligence. (Healthline)
- Men that kiss their partners in the morning can live up to five years longer than those that don’t. (Psychology Today)
- Scientific facts about love reveal that there are people that are unable to feel romantic love. (Healthline)
- Speed dating was first created in 1999 by a Jewish rabbi – the concept is based on Jewish chaperoned gatherings. (Original Dating)
The History of Love
Love is one of the oldest feelings that’s been described, so we decided to begin with a few interesting facts about the historical development of the concept as we know it today.
#1 The word ‘love’ finds its origins in Sanskrit
(Kidadl)
The word ‘love’ comes from the Sanskrit word ‘lubhyati’, which means ‘he desires’. An equivalent of the word and the concept of love appears across all ancient cultures.
#2 The vein of love is the reason we wear an engagement ring on the fourth finger of our left hand
(FearlessSoul)
Traditionally, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand – this is one of the more mysterious love facts. It is believed that this practice was adopted in Western civilization because the Ancient Greeks believed that the ‘vein of love’ or the ‘vena amoris’ ran from the finger on the left hand directly into the heart.
#3 The heart as a symbol was first used to depict love in 1250
(Thought Catalog)
The heart shape is a commonly accepted symbol of love, even though it doesn’t resemble the physiological shape of the human heart. So, why is the heart associated with love? The heart, as an organ, has been associated with love since the conception of all known civilizations, but it didn’t have the shape it has today. The heart symbol was first used to denote love in 1250 – before that, it was used to depict foliage.
#4 Making love potions used to be common
(Thought Catalog)
One of the interesting facts about love is that people used to believe that a potion could make a person fall in love with them! Usually, these potions contained human sweat, which was also a key ingredient in perfumes that were used to attract the opposite sex.
The Chemistry Behind Love
Many people believe that loving someone is merely a psychological process, but that’s not the case. When people fall in love, the body responds with a physical reaction that has been thoroughly analyzed; this means that we can further understand why some things considered weird happen.
#5 The hormone responsible for love is oxytocin
(Kidadl)
Facts indicate that when people embrace their partner, oxytocin is released from the central nervous system – this hormone causes feelings of trust and affection to increase, which is why it’s often been called the love hormone. Studies have shown that couples that spend more time hugging have higher levels of mutual trust, and experience more stress relief caused by the close presence of their partner.
#6 Phenylethylamine, or the ‘love drug’, can also be found in chocolate
(TheActiveTimes)
The science behind love reveals that when people are in love, the brain releases phenylethylamine into the bloodstream, also known as the ‘love drug’. This is exactly what makes people feel crazy in love – and it can also be found in chocolate! It comes as no surprise that people can’t get enough of love – or sweet treats.
#7 Butterflies in your stomach are caused by adrenaline in your body
(Bored Panda)
Anyone that’s ever been in love knows that strange feeling of butterflies fluttering around your stomach. Even though this may seem like a figment of the imagination, facts about relationships reveal that there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation behind it – butterflies are a stress response caused by the excessive amount of adrenaline your body produces when you see the object of your affection. This is one of the ways you can tell you’re in love!
#8 Being in love and having OCD display some of the same symptoms
(Vocal Media Humans)
One of the weird but true facts about love is that it causes serotonin levels to drop. Once these levels drop, infatuation starts to become more pronounced; this can lead to obsessive behaviour. When this happens, people can display symptoms identical to those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
#9 Love and lust are both caused by hormones
(2date4love)
Love and lust are two completely different things, but they are often mixed up. Relationship facts reveal that whenever we do things that feel good, whether it’s simply spending time without a boyfriend or girlfriend or having sex with them, dopamine is released in the body. This hormone is associated with attraction and it can easily confuse our emotions – people are often unsure if they’re in love or merely lusting after their partners.
The Psychology of Love
As we’ve seen so far, the body shows the physical signs of being in love, but that doesn’t mean that the psyche doesn’t react as well. The psychology of love has been heavily discussed in scientific circles and psychologists have come to some fascinating conclusions.
#10 Broken heart syndrome is a diagnosed condition with people suffering from heartbreak
(FearlessSoul)
When people fall in love they feel as if though it will last forever – but how long does love last? Well, some love stories last forever, but others end in heartbreak after several months, years, or even decades. After a breakup, people complain of experiencing physical pain and this has been scientifically backed up – the phenomenon is referred to as broken heart syndrome. Painful emotional experiences result in physical pain in people’s hearts and the symptoms are similar to those of a heart attack.
#11 The heart is not the organ of love, the brain is
(Essence)
Even though love is associated with your heart, most recent studies show that love originates in the brain. Love statistics provided by researchers at University College London and Rutgers University show that romance is activated in the brain – more specifically in the part of the brain that’s responsible for risk and reward, while the part that deals with judgment and decision making is deactivated.
#12 Love decreases physical pain
(FearlessSoul)
Merely looking at a photograph of your loved one can lower pain levels when people experience intense emotional or physical trauma. If you can have the comfort of their company, that’s even better.
#13 Being in love isn’t forever
(BusinessInsider)
When you take a look at facts about falling in love, you may be surprised to learn that the ‘being in love period’ lasts approximately one year. A 2005 study showed that one year after entering romantic relationships, a chemical known as the ‘nerve growth factor’ starts to decrease. This chemical is responsible for intense romantic feelings, but once it starts to decrease the romantic love stage passes over into the committed love stage.
#14 Love makes you a better person
(2date4love)
You may wonder what is love all about in a relationship, and might be surprised when you learn the answer. Being in a committed monogamous relationship makes you become a better person, positively influences your personality development, and decreases levels of neurosis in both partners.
#15 Kindness is the key to the heart
(FearlessSoul)
Psychology facts about love prove that people are more attracted to potential partners who display kindness towards other people – being a good person pays off after all!
Science Says It All
If you thought that love isn’t synonymous with hard science, you’re mistaken. Science has managed to arrive at some conclusions about love, and they’re quite fascinating.
#16 Having a crush is a short-term condition – love is what you experience in the long run
(Good MenProject)
Scientific studies have proven a crush lasts up to 4 months. If you’re still having strong feelings about your partner after the four-month mark, it means that you’re in love with them!
#17 Happiness is contagious
(Vocal Media Humans)
One of the interesting facts about life and love is that happiness is a contagious feeling – if your partner is a happy person with a positive outlook on life, it might be difficult for you to leave them.
#18 You are attracted to people with similar genes
(Vocal Media Humans)
They say opposites attract, but this is not always true! Scientists have proven that interpersonal relationships between people with similar DNA are more common, and usually more successful. Please note that this doesn’t indicate that two people are related; they are just alike.
#19 Equally attractive people do well together
(Bored Panda)
One of the true facts about love is that people who have different levels of attractiveness probably won’t make it as a couple. People subconsciously look for a partner that looks similar to them and has approximately the same level of attraction – this has been proven by the Matching Hypothesis.
#20 Falling in love takes longer for women
(GoodMenProject)
It is a common belief that women fall in love more quickly, but in reality, do men fall in love faster? Yes! Men are the first ones to fall in love with their partner – and they’re more likely to say it first too.
#21 Birth control alters your taste in men
(Relationship Rules)
If you’re in a relationship and want to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy, you’ll probably turn to birth control pills. You may find that your partner isn’t as attractive to you as he once was – kinda weird, right? Well, there’s a scientific explanation for this: birth control pills are hormonal, so it’s expected that there might be some side effects. One unwanted effect of birth control is that it may alter your perception of what kind of partner you want.
#22 Marriage is beneficial for your health
(Fox News)
Marriage can seem like a terrifying lifelong commitment, but is it? Science says no – if you look at how often do married couples make love statistics, you’ll see that they generally have active sex lives, which is good for overall health. Studies have shown married men have stronger skeletons than unmarried ones – marriage somehow strengthens the bone structure!
These facts reveal that married men are more likely to overcome cancer and other diseases, and the risk factor for other diseases is significantly lower – this is possibly due to the support they get from their spouse. So if you were hesitant about that wedding, here’s an additional reason for you to go for it.
#23 The chances of finding love without trying are very small
(Kidadl)
There have been numerous studies that have tried to determine what are your chances of finding love on any given day – and the numbers aren’t too encouraging. If you leave it all to chance, the probability of finding an emotional attachment is 1 in 562, according to love statistics and facts. In case you were already despairing about finding love, there’s no cause for worry – you can improve your odds by going out more frequently or signing up for a dating app!
#24 Divorce runs in the family
(Vocal Media Humans)
Although we all like to believe differently, love ending in divorce is common. These statistics on relationships lasting show that divorce is more likely to happen between people whose parents were divorced – divorce stats show that 43% of children of divorced parents usually end up divorcing themselves; this happening around the ten-year mark is not uncommon.
Love Is Weird
Even though we’ve looked at love from all different angles and described numerous scientific explanations associated, there’s still some weird stuff going on!
#25 Love alters your sense of taste
(Medium)
When you’re in love, your food tastes differently – or is it all in your head? These fun facts about love prove that it’s not just you: studies have shown that when people think about the bliss of love, they rate foods as sweeter than those who were thinking about jealousy. Even water tastes sweeter when you’re in love!
#26 Being in love affects your ability to focus
(Medium)
Feeling like you’re losing the ability to focus? You might be in love! Whether it was love at first sight or you’re already in a committed, monogamous relationship, you can easily stray off track. Statistics about falling in love reveal that people who were infatuated with another person had more trouble focusing on tasks; their performance lacks due to the fact they had something else on their mind: their loved one.
#27 Rom-coms are beneficial to romantic relationships
(Fox News)
Romantic comedy movies often pose the question ‘does everyone find love’? In most films, they do. That being said, it could be beneficial if you watch romantic movies with your spouse, according to a study done at Binghamton University. Couples that watch romance movies together have lower divorce rates – but this activity must take place at home, where couples have the opportunity to discuss the work and how it relates to them.
#28 Falling in love depends on when and where you are in life
(Thought Catalog)
You may have heard people say that timing is everything… and it is. Facts about love at first sight reveal that people merely looking for an adventure were more likely to fall in love. Other factors that entice people to form an emotional attachment to someone are loneliness, transitioning to a new stage of life, being far from home, or feeling ready to take the next step in life.
#29 Intuition plays a large role in the choice of a potential partner
(Relationship Rules)
They say when you know, you know – and that’s not far from the truth. When you meet someone new, your intuition tells you whether or not the relationship will work out. An experiment showed that couples who gave initial predictions of their relationship were right most of the time!
#30 It’s been proven that the main source of happiness in life is love
(Vocal Media Humans)
Finally, romantic facts reveal that love is, in fact, all there is. A Harvard study conducted over 75 years revealed that love is all that matters in long-term relationships. Happiness and pleasure in life are derived from love, or the search for love.
Wrap Up
There are many intriguing facts about love which prove that it truly is a miraculous feeling. Many aspects of love have been explained by science and psychology, and there have been numerous studies done on the subject of love. Even though many things can be explained, love is still the biggest mystery in the world.
Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure.[1][2] An example of this range of meanings is that the love of a mother differs from the love of a spouse, which differs from the love for food. Most commonly, love refers to a feeling of a strong attraction and emotional attachment.[3][4][5]
Love is considered to be both positive and negative, with its virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection, as «the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another» and its vice representing human moral flaw, akin to vanity, selfishness, amour-propre, and egotism, as potentially leading people into a type of mania, obsessiveness or codependency.[6][7] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self, or animals.[8] In its various forms, love acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.[9] Love has been postulated to be a function that keeps human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.[10]
Ancient Greek philosophers identified six forms of love: essentially, familial love (in Greek, Storge), friendly love or platonic love (Philia), romantic love (Eros), self-love (Philautia), guest love (Xenia), and divine or unconditional love (Agape). Modern authors have distinguished further varieties of love: unrequited love, empty love, companionate love, consummate love, infatuated love, self-love, and courtly love. Numerous cultures have also distinguished Ren, Yuanfen, Mamihlapinatapai, Cafuné, Kama, Bhakti, Mettā, Ishq, Chesed, Amore, Charity, Saudade (and other variants or symbioses of these states), as culturally unique words, definitions, or expressions of love in regards to a specified «moments» currently lacking in the English language.[11][12][13]
Scientific research on emotion has increased significantly over the past two decades. The color wheel theory of love defines three primary, three secondary and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in terms of the traditional color wheel. The triangular theory of love suggests «intimacy, passion and commitment» are core components of love. Love has additional religious or spiritual meaning. This diversity of uses and meanings combined with the complexity of the feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.
Definitions
Romeo and Juliet, depicted as they part on the balcony in Act III, 1867 by Ford Madox Brown
The word «love» can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Many other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that in English are denoted as «love»; one example is the plurality of Greek concepts for «love» (agape, eros, philia, storge) .[14] Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus doubly impede the establishment of a universal definition.[15]
Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn’t love (antonyms of «love»). Love as a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like) is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy). As a less-sexual and more-emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust. As an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is sometimes contrasted with friendship, although the word love is often applied to close friendships or platonic love. (Further possible ambiguities come with usages «girlfriend», «boyfriend», «just good friends»).
Abstractly discussed, love usually refers to an experience one person feels for another. Love often involves caring for, or identifying with, a person or thing (cf. vulnerability and care theory of love), including oneself (cf. narcissism). In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[16]
The complex and abstract nature of love often reduces discourse of love to a thought-terminating cliché. Several common proverbs regard love, from Virgil’s «Love conquers all» to The Beatles’ «All You Need Is Love». St. Thomas Aquinas, following Aristotle, defines love as «to will the good of another.»[17] Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of «absolute value,» as opposed to relative value.[citation needed] Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is «to be delighted by the happiness of another.»[18] Meher Baba stated that in love there is a «feeling of unity» and an «active appreciation of the intrinsic worth of the object of love.»[19] Biologist Jeremy Griffith defines love as «unconditional selflessness».[20]
Impersonal
People can be said to love an object, principle, or goal to which they are deeply committed and greatly value. For example, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers’ «love» of their cause may sometimes be born not of interpersonal love but impersonal love, altruism, and strong spiritual or political convictions.[21] People can also «love» material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, then this feeling is called paraphilia.[22]
Interpersonal
Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a much more potent sentiment than a simple liking for a person. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with Interpersonal relationships.[21] Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.
Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the 20th century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of psychology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the concept of love.
Biological basis
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[23] Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and human behavior researcher, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust is the feeling of sexual desire; romantic attraction determines what partners mates find attractive and pursue, conserving time and energy by choosing; and attachment involves sharing a home, parental duties, mutual defense, and in humans involves feelings of safety and security.[24] Three distinct neural circuitries, including neurotransmitters, and three behavioral patterns, are associated with these three romantic styles.[24]
Pair of Lovers. 1480–1485
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including the neurotransmitter hormones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, the same compounds released by amphetamine, stimulating the brain’s pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[25]
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[25] Enzo Emanuele and coworkers reported the protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year.[26]
Psychological basis
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. Non-love does not include any of these components. Liking only includes intimacy. Infatuated love only includes passion. Empty love only includes commitment. Romantic love includes both intimacy and passion. Companionate love includes intimacy and commitment. Fatuous love includes passion and commitment. Lastly, consummate love includes all three components.[27] American psychologist Zick Rubin sought to define love by psychometrics in the 1970s. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.[28][29]
Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb’s law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as «opposites attract». Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g., with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby that has the best of both worlds.[30] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.
Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the «concern for the spiritual growth of another,» and simple narcissism.[31] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Psychologist Erich Fromm maintained in his book The Art of Loving that love is not merely a feeling but is also actions, and that in fact, the «feeling» of love is superficial in comparison to one’s commitment to love via a series of loving actions over time.[21] In this sense, Fromm held that love is ultimately not a feeling at all, but rather is a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, oneself, or many others, over a sustained duration.[21] Fromm also described love as a conscious choice that in its early stages might originate as an involuntary feeling, but which then later no longer depends on those feelings, but rather depends only on conscious commitment.[21]
Evolutionary basis
Wall of Love on Montmartre in Paris: «I love you» in 250 languages, by calligraphist Fédéric Baron and artist Claire Kito (2000)
Evolutionary psychology has attempted to provide various reasons for love as a survival tool. Humans are dependent on parental help for a large portion of their lifespans compared to other mammals. Love has therefore been seen as a mechanism to promote parental support of children for this extended time period. Furthermore, researchers as early as Charles Darwin himself identified unique features of human love compared to other mammals and credit love as a major factor for creating social support systems that enabled the development and expansion of the human species.[citation needed] Another factor may be that sexually transmitted diseases can cause, among other effects, permanently reduced fertility, injury to the fetus, and increase complications during childbirth. This would favor monogamous relationships over polygamy.[32]
Adaptive benefit
Interpersonal love between a male and a female is considered to provide an evolutionary adaptive benefit since it facilitates mating and sexual reproduction.[33] However, some organisms can reproduce asexually without mating. Thus understanding the adaptive benefit of interpersonal love depends on understanding the adaptive benefit of sexual reproduction as opposed to asexual reproduction. Michod[33] has reviewed evidence that love, and consequently sexual reproduction, provides two major adaptive advantages. First, love leading to sexual reproduction facilitates repair of damages in the DNA that is passed from parent to progeny (during meiosis, a key stage of the sexual process). Second, a gene in either parent may contain a harmful mutation, but in the progeny produced by sex reproduction, expression of a harmful mutation introduced by one parent is likely to be masked by expression of the unaffected homologous gene from the other parent.[33]
Comparison of scientific models
Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst.[23] Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. Certainly, love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.
Cultural views
Ancient Greek
Roman copy of a Greek sculpture by Lysippus depicting Eros, the Greek personification of romantic love
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word «love» is used. Ancient Greeks identified four forms of love: kinship or familiarity (in Greek, storge), friendship and/or platonic desire (philia), sexual and/or romantic desire (eros), and self-emptying or divine love (agape).[34][35] Modern authors have distinguished further varieties of romantic love.[36] However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s’agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a «pure,» ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as «love of the soul.»[37]
Eros (ἔρως érōs) (from the Greek deity Eros) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as «love of the body».[37]
Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept addressed and developed by Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics Book VIII.[38] It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean «love of the mind.»
Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey.
Ancient Roman (Latin)
The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word «love.» amō is the basic verb meaning I love, with the infinitive amare («to love») as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans—a lover, amator, «professional lover,» often with the accessory notion of lechery—and amica, «girlfriend» in the English sense, often being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor (the significance of this term for the Romans is well illustrated in the fact, that the name of the city, Rome—in Latin: Roma—can be viewed as an anagram for amor, which was used as the secret name of the City in wide circles in ancient times),[39] which is also used in the plural form to indicate love affairs or sexual adventures. This same root also produces amicus—»friend»—and amicitia, «friendship» (often based to mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to «indebtedness» or «influence»). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia), which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), which addresses, in depth, everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.
Latin sometimes uses amāre where English would simply say to like. This notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by the terms placere or delectāre, which are used more colloquially, the latter used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus. Diligere often has the notion «to be affectionate for,» «to esteem,» and rarely if ever is used for romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning of «diligence» or «carefulness,» and has little semantic overlap with the verb. Observare is a synonym for diligere; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun, observantia, often denote «esteem» or «affection.» Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean «charitable love»; this meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
Chinese and other Sinic
Two philosophical underpinnings of love exist in the Chinese tradition, one from Confucianism which emphasized actions and duty while the other came from Mohism which championed a universal love. A core concept to Confucianism is 仁 (Ren, «benevolent love»), which focuses on duty, action, and attitude in a relationship rather than love itself. In Confucianism, one displays benevolent love by performing actions such as filial piety from children, kindness from parents, loyalty to the king and so forth.
The concept of 愛 (Mandarin: ài) was developed by the Chinese philosopher Mozi in the 4th century BC in reaction to Confucianism’s benevolent love. Mozi tried to replace what he considered to be the long-entrenched Chinese over-attachment to family and clan structures with the concept of «universal love» (兼愛, jiān’ài). In this, he argued directly against Confucians who believed that it was natural and correct for people to care about different people in different degrees. Mozi, by contrast, believed people in principle should care for all people equally. Mohism stressed that rather than adopting different attitudes towards different people, love should be unconditional and offered to everyone without regard to reciprocation; not just to friends, family and other Confucian relations. Later in Chinese Buddhism, the term Ai (愛) was adopted to refer to a passionate, caring love and was considered a fundamental desire. In Buddhism, Ai was seen as capable of being either selfish or selfless, the latter being a key element towards enlightenment.
In Mandarin Chinese, 愛 (ài) is often used as the equivalent of the Western concept of love. 愛 (ài) is used as both a verb (e.g. 我愛你, Wǒ ài nǐ, or «I love you») and a noun (such as 愛情 àiqíng, or «romantic love»). However, due to the influence of Confucian 仁 (rén), the phrase 我愛你 (Wǒ ài nǐ, I love you) carries with it a very specific sense of responsibility, commitment and loyalty. Instead of frequently saying «I love you» as in some Western societies, the Chinese are more likely to express feelings of affection in a more casual way. Consequently, «I like you» (我喜欢你, Wǒ xǐhuan nǐ) is a more common way of expressing affection in Mandarin; it is more playful and less serious.[40] This is also true in Japanese (suki da, 好きだ).
Japanese
The Japanese language uses three words to convey the English equivalent of «love». Because «love» covers a wide range of emotions and behavioral phenomena, there are nuances distinguishing the three terms.[41][42] The term ai (愛), which is often associated with maternal love[41] or selfless love,[42] originally referred to beauty and was often used in a religious context. Following the Meiji Restoration 1868, the term became associated with «love» in order to translate Western literature. Prior to Western influence, the term koi (恋 or 孤悲) generally represented romantic love, and was often the subject of the popular Man’yōshū Japanese poetry collection.[41] Koi describes a longing for a member of the opposite sex and is typically interpreted as selfish and wanting.[42] The term’s origins come from the concept of lonely solitude as a result of separation from a loved one. Though modern usage of koi focuses on sexual love and infatuation, the Manyō used the term to cover a wider range of situations, including tenderness, benevolence, and material desire.[41] The third term, ren’ai (恋愛), is a more modern construction that combines the kanji characters for both ai and koi, though its usage more closely resembles that of koi in the form of romantic love.[41][42] Amae (甘え), referring to the desire to be loved and cared for by an authority figure, is another important aspect of Japan’s cultural perspective on love, and has been analysed in detail in Takeo Doi’s The Anatomy of Dependence[43]
Indian
The love stories of the Hindu deities Krishna and Radha have influenced the Indian culture and arts. Above: Radha Madhavam by Raja Ravi Varma.
In contemporary literature, the Sanskrit words for love is «sneha». Other terms such as Priya refers to innocent love, Prema refers to spiritual love, and Kama refers usually to sexual desire.[44][45] However, the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature.[46][47]
The concept of kama is found in some of the earliest known verses in Vedas. For example, Book 10 of Rig Veda describes the creation of the universe from nothing by the great heat. There in hymn 129, it states:
कामस्तदग्रे समवर्तताधि मनसो रेतः परथमं यदासीत |
सतो बन्धुमसति निरविन्दन हर्दि परतीष्याकवयो मनीषा ||[48]Thereafter rose Desire in the beginning, Desire the primal seed and germ of Spirit,
Sages who searched with their heart’s thought discovered the existent’s kinship in the non-existent.
Persian
The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts one limb
The other limbs cannot remain at rest.
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others
You are not worthy to be called by the name of «man».
Sa’di, Gulistan
Rumi, Hafiz, and Sa’di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present.[citation needed] The Persian word for love is Ishq, which is derived from Arabic language; however, it is considered by most to be too stalwart a term for interpersonal love and is more commonly substituted for «doost dashtan» («liking»).[citation needed] In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life.[citation needed]
Religious views
Abrahamic
Judaism
In Hebrew, אהבה (ahava) is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love between God and God’s creations. Chesed, often translated as loving-kindness, is used to describe many forms of love between human beings.
The commandment to love other people is given in the Torah, which states, «Love your neighbor like yourself» (Leviticus 19:18). The Torah’s commandment to love God «with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might» (Deuteronomy 6:5) is taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one’s life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all of one’s possessions, and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs as to how this love can be developed, e.g., by contemplating divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.
As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: «See life with the wife you love» (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Rabbi David Wolpe writes that «…love is not only about the feelings of the lover…It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.» He further states that «…love…is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do.»[50] The biblical book Song of Solomon is considered a romantically phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading, reads like a love song. The 20th-century rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point of view as «giving without expecting to take» (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1).
Christianity
Love and not a one-way street in romanticism
The Christian understanding is that love comes from God, who is himself love (1 John 4:8). The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (agape), are often contrasted as «descending» and «ascending» love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.[51]
There are several Greek words for «love» that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.
- Agape: In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.[37]
- Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as «brotherly love.»
- Two other words for love in the Greek language, eros (sexual love) and storge (child-to-parent love), were never used in the New Testament.[37]
Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah, according to Jesus; cf. Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28–34). Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote «Love God, and do as thou wilt.»
The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poetic interpretation in 1 Corinthians, he wrote, «Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.»[52]
The Apostle John wrote, «For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.» (John 3:16–17, NIV) John also wrote, «Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.»[53]
Saint Augustine wrote that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, «I was in love with love.» Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as «jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.» According to Saint Augustine, to love God is «to attain the peace which is yours.» (Saint Augustine’s Confessions)
Augustine regards the duplex commandment of love in Matthew 22 as the heart of Christian faith and the interpretation of the Bible. After the review of Christian doctrine, Augustine treats the problem of love in terms of use and enjoyment until the end of Book I of De Doctrina Christiana (1.22.21–1.40.44;).[54]
Christian theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships. Influential Christian theologian C. S. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves. Benedict XVI named his first encyclical God is love. He said that a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others (agape) and by receiving and experiencing God’s love in contemplation (eros). This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and Mary, the mother of Jesus and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them.[51]
Pope Francis taught that «True love is both loving and letting oneself be loved…what is important in love is not our loving, but allowing ourselves to be loved by God.»[55] And so, in the analysis of a Catholic theologian, for Pope Francis, «the key to love…is not our activity. It is the activity of the greatest, and the source, of all the powers in the universe: God’s.»[56]
In Christianity the practical definition of love is summarised by Thomas Aquinas, who defined love as «to will the good of another,» or to desire for another to succeed.[17] This is an explanation of the Christian need to love others, including their enemies. As Thomas Aquinas explains, Christian love is motivated by the need to see others succeed in life, to be good people.
Regarding love for enemies, Jesus is quoted in the Gospel of Matthew:
«You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.»[57]
Do not forget to love with forgiveness, Christ saved an adulterous woman from those who would stone her. A world of wronged hypocrites needs forgiving love. Mosaic Law would hold Deuteronomy 22:22-24 «If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die—the man that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from Israel. If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry out in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbor’s wife; so you shall put away the evil from among you.»
Tertullian wrote regarding love for enemies: «Our individual, extraordinary, and perfect goodness consists in loving our enemies. To love one’s friends is common practice, to love one’s enemies only among Christians.»[58]
Islam
In Islam, one of the 99 names of God is Al-Wadūd, which means «The Loving»
Love encompasses the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold faith. Amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud, or «the Loving One,» which is found in Surah [ 11:90] as well as Surah [ 85:14]. God is also referenced at the beginning of every chapter in the Qur’an as Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim, or the «Most Compassionate» and the «Most Merciful», indicating that nobody is more loving, compassionate and benevolent than God. The Qur’an refers to God as being «full of loving kindness.»
The Qur’an exhorts Muslim believers to treat all people, those who have not persecuted them, with birr or «deep kindness» as stated in Surah [ 6:8-9]. Birr is also used by the Qur’an in describing the love and kindness that children must show to their parents.
Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism in the Islamic tradition. Practitioners of Sufism believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God «looks» at himself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices seeing the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of love.[59] God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms, which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved, with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through love, humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being «drunk» due to their love of God; hence, the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.
Bahá’í Faith
In his Paris Talks, `Abdu’l-Bahá described four types of love: the love that flows from God to human beings; the love that flows from human beings to God; the love of God towards the Self or Identity of God; and the love of human beings for human beings.[60]
Dharmic
Buddhism
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish. Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment. Adveṣa and mettā are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others’ welfare.
The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world.
Hinduism
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (Kama) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. Stone images of Kamadeva and Rati can be seen on the door of the Chennakeshava temple at Belur, in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.
In contrast to kāma, prema – or prem – refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which impels one to help reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning «loving devotion to the supreme God.» A person who practices bhakti is called a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavata Purana and works by Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.
In certain Vaishnava sects within Hinduism, attaining unadulterated, unconditional and incessant love for Godhead is considered the foremost goal of life. Gaudiya Vaishnavas who worship Krishna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the cause of all causes consider Love for Godhead (Prema) to act in two ways: sambhoga and vipralambha (union and separation)—two opposites.[61]
In the condition of separation, there is an acute yearning for being with the beloved and in the condition of union, there is supreme happiness and nectarean. Gaudiya Vaishnavas consider that Krishna-prema (Love for Godhead) is not fire but that it still burns away one’s material desires. They consider that Kṛṣṇa-prema is not a weapon, but it still pierces the heart. It is not water, but it washes away everything—one’s pride, religious rules, and one’s shyness. Krishna-prema is considered to make one drown in the ocean of transcendental ecstasy and pleasure. The love of Radha, a cowherd girl, for Krishna is often cited as the supreme example of love for Godhead by Gaudiya Vaishnavas. Radha is considered to be the internal potency of Krishna, and is the supreme lover of Godhead. Her example of love is considered to be beyond the understanding of material realm as it surpasses any form of selfish love or lust that is visible in the material world. The reciprocal love between Radha (the supreme lover) and Krishna (God as the Supremely Loved) is the subject of many poetic compositions in India such as the Gita Govinda and Hari Bhakti Shuddhodhaya.
In the Bhakti tradition within Hinduism, it is believed that execution of devotional service to God leads to the development of Love for God (taiche bhakti-phale krsne prema upajaya), and as love for God increases in the heart, the more one becomes free from material contamination (krishna-prema asvada haile, bhava nasa paya). Being perfectly in love with God or Krishna makes one perfectly free from material contamination. and this is the ultimate way of salvation or liberation. In this tradition, salvation or liberation is considered inferior to love, and just an incidental by-product. Being absorbed in Love for God is considered to be the perfection of life.[62]
Political views
Free love
The term «free love» has been used[63] to describe a social movement that rejects marriage, which is seen as a form of social bondage. The free love movement’s initial goal was to separate the state from sexual matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery. It claimed that such issues were the concern of the people involved, and no one else.[64]
Many people in the early 19th century believed that marriage was an important aspect of life to «fulfill earthly human happiness.» Middle-class Americans wanted the home to be a place of stability in an uncertain world. This mentality created a vision of strongly defined gender roles, which provoked the advancement of the free love movement as a contrast.[65]
Advocates of free love had two strong beliefs: opposition to the idea of forceful sexual activity in a relationship and advocacy for a woman to use her body in any way that she pleases.[66] These are also beliefs of feminism.[67]
Philosophical views
The philosophy of love is a field of social philosophy and ethics that attempts to explain the nature of love.[68] The philosophical investigation of love includes the tasks of distinguishing between the various kinds of personal love, asking if and how love is or can be justified, asking what the value of love is, and what impact love has on the autonomy of both the lover and the beloved.[67]
See also
- Color wheel theory of love
- Human bonding
- Love at first sight
- Love-in
- Pair bond
- Polyamory
- Relationship science
- Romance (love)
- Self-love
- Social connection
- Traditional forms, Agape, Philia, Philautia, Storge, Eros: Greek terms for love
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- ^ Swartley, Willard M. (1992). The Love of Enemy and Nonretaliation in the New Testament, Studies in peace and scripture; (As Scapulam I) cited by Hans Haas, Idee und Ideal de Feindesliebe in der ausserchristlichen Welt (Leipzig: University of Leipzig, 1927). Westminster John Knox Press. p. 24. ISBN 978-0-664-25354-7.
- ^ Lewisohn, Leonard (2014). Cambridge Companions to Religion. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. pp. 150–180.
- ^ «Bahá’í Reference Library – Paris Talks». reference.bahai.org. pp. 179–181. Archived from the original on 20 August 2014. Retrieved 4 September 2014.
- ^ Gour Govinda Swami. «Wonderful Characteristic of Krishna Prema, Gour Govinda Swami». Facebook. Archived from the original on 29 November 2012. Retrieved 7 January 2012.
- ^ A C Bhaktivedanta Swami. «Being Perfectly in Love». Archived from the original on 23 November 2014. Retrieved 7 January 2012.
- ^ The Handbook Archived 13 June 2010 at the Wayback Machine of the Oneida Community claims to have coined the term around 1850, and laments that its use was appropriated by socialists to attack marriage, an institution that they felt protected women and children from abandonment
- ^ McElroy, Wendy (1996). «The Free Love Movement and Radical Individualism». Libertarian Enterprise. 19: 1.
- ^ Spurlock, John C. Free Love Marriage and Middle-Class Radicalism in America. New York, NY: New York UP, 1988.
- ^ Passet, Joanne E. Sex Radicals and the Quest for Women’s Equality. Chicago: U of Illinois P, 2003.
- ^ a b Laurie, Timothy; Stark, Hannah (2017), «Love’s Lessons: Intimacy, Pedagogy and Political Community», Angelaki: Journal of the Theoretical Humanities, 22 (4): 69–79, doi:10.1080/0969725x.2017.1406048, S2CID 149182610
- ^ Soren Kierkegaard. Works of Love.
Sources
- Chadwick, Henry (1998). Saint Augustine Confessions. Oxford: Oxford University Press. ISBN 978-0-19-283372-3.
- Fisher, Helen (2004). Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. New York : H. Holt. ISBN 978-0-8050-6913-6.
- Giles, James (1994). «A theory of love and sexual desire». Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour. 24 (4): 339–357. doi:10.1111/j.1468-5914.1994.tb00259.x.
- Kierkegaard, Søren (2009). Works of Love. New York City: Harper Perennial Modern Classics. ISBN 978-0-06-171327-9.
- Oord, Thomas Jay (2010). Defining Love: A Philosophical, Scientific, and Theological Engagement. Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos. ISBN 978-1-58743-257-6.
- Singer, Irving (1966). The Nature of Love. Vol. (in three volumes) (v.1 reprinted and later volumes from The University of Chicago Press, 1984 ed.). Random House. ISBN 978-0-226-76094-0.
- Sternberg, R.J. (1986). «A triangular theory of love». Psychological Review. 93 (2): 119–135. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119.
- Sternberg, R.J. (1987). «Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories». Psychological Bulletin. 102 (3): 331–345. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.102.3.331.
- Tennov, Dorothy (1979). Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day. ISBN 978-0-8128-6134-1.
- Wood Samuel E., Ellen Wood and Denise Boyd (2005). The World of Psychology (5th ed.). Pearson Education. pp. 402–403. ISBN 978-0-205-35868-7.
Further reading
- Bayer, A, ed. (2008). Art and love in Renaissance Italy. New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
External links
- History of Love, Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy
- Friendship at Curlie
- Philanthropy at Curlie
- Romance at Curlie
The brain is responsible for making a person fall in love.
They say when you fall in love, you follow your… hypothalamus? Located near the brain’s pituitary gland, the hypothalamus is responsible for releasing hormones, controlling the appetite, and maintaining daily physiological cycles. Some of the hormones the hypothalamus releases are cortisol and oxytocin, which gives you that lovey-dovey, I’m-high-up-in-the-heavens feeling when you’re in love.
High cortisol levels make a person “lovesick.”
You know you’re in love when thinking about the person already makes you feel light on your feet. The brain releases hormones to make a person feel this way. Short bursts of cortisol feel amazing. But too much? You’re already lovesick. Literally! This hormone helps regulate blood pressure and boost the body’s energy. When too much cortisol is released, the body gets stressed, which may lead to headaches, heart disease, anxiety, and depression.
Oxytocin can also trigger bad memories.
That warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest when you see the person you love feels addicting. But it’s not always a good thing. The love hormone oxytocin plays a role in human and animal emotional attachment. A study by Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine found that oxytocin has the “ability to increase anxiety and fear” and will intensify bad memories. So, in a way, love does hurt.
Falling in love means a stronger immune system for women.
Choosing a partner is a natural human instinct, but choosing the right one may be quite a challenge. Tulane’s School of Science and Engineering assistant professor Damian Murray, in collaboration with UCLA professors, conducted research about falling in love and its association with the immune system. Their research found that women had increased activity of genes involved in antiviral defenses when they are in love. Their immune system became stronger, the body’s way of preparing for pregnancy.
The body’s fight-or-flight response is heightened in the first year of love.
It’s a good thing to be in love. You’re always happy, always excited, and looking forward to what the future will bring. But the human body is much more prepared in that area. The body’s fight-or-flight response is on high alert as soon as a person falls in love. Thankfully, this level of physiological reaction only lasts for a year.
Dilated pupils reveal whether a person is attracted to someone.
They say people in love have hearts in their eyes. The surge in hormones leads to pupil dilation when the irises increase in size. When two people are mutually attracted to each other, their pupils naturally dilate. It’s the body’s biological call to reproduce.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Although a long-distance relationship is not the most ideal, relationship experts agree that this type of arrangement can make a couple stronger. Experts recommend communicating with your partner, being present, supporting each other’s interests, hanging out even when apart, addressing issues, discussing a plan on merging your worlds, and giving constant reminders that you love them.
Love is as addicting as cocaine.
High and in love? There’s a reason for that. Researchers revealed that 12 areas of the brain work simultaneously when a person is in love. Vassopresion, adrenaline, oxytocin, and dopamine create the same sense of euphoria similar to cocaine.
People in love are less likely to be productive.
Ever found yourself sighing, dreaming away, and smiling to yourself instead of beginning your work pile? It’s normal, that’s what love does to you. Science proves that obsessive love makes humans less productive. To combat this, set up boundaries and lessen the distractions, you’ll get into your jive in no time.
Holding hands is a perfect stress-reliever.
This socially acceptable public display of affection is both sweet and intimate. But it does more to the body than to the heart. The act of hand-holding isn’t exclusive to couples, since parents have been holding their children’s hands from the moment they were born. Experimental psychologist says holding hands will instantly reduce stress levels, lower blood pressure, and calm the heart rate.
Love is good for the heart. No, really!
Long and lasting love is also credited for the good health of married couples. Studies show that married couples are at a lesser risk of contracting heart problems than single people. Couples with strong and happy marriages tend to live longer. The blood pressure also lowers in the presence of a loved one.
A good sense of humor is important in a relationship.
Aside from good looks and impressive street smarts, your partner has to be really funny too! Couples with a compatible sense of humor tend to be more relaxed and laidback. A partner who is fun to be around can lighten things up and make the relationship work.
Love and lust are two completely different things.
These two distinct feelings are always mistaken for one another. It’s not always guaranteed that one may lead to the other. Lust is physical and sexual attraction, while love is much more intimate and emotional. You can experience lust with anyone, but romantic love can only be mutually exclusive. Though sometimes, people fall in love with the person they lust after, these two feelings always don’t go hand-in-hand.
There are five stages to a successful relationship.
As the saying goes, “love is a journey, not a destination.” A successful relationship doesn’t end in love, it’s where everything begins. The five stages of a relationship are: first, you fall in love, then become a couple, then reality begins, then the commitment, and then spending your life stronger together. Some couples break up in the third stage, while some thrive until the last stage.
Plato began the concept of soulmates.
One of the greatest Greek philosophers, Plato, used to tell the story of how the gods created the first humans. Back then, humans had two heads, four arms, four legs, and one heart. Zeus found the creature revolting and terrifying, so Zeus had to separate them. This made humans start looking for the other half of their hearts, hence the concept of soulmates.
Red roses are the official flowers of Aphrodite.
In the flower language, a red rose symbolizes love and romance. It also means “I love you” in its truest and simplest form. The Greek goddess of love Aphrodite fell in love with the beautiful mortal Adonis. She warned him about hunting the wild boar but he didn’t heed the goddess’ advice. A wild boar did attack the youth, its tusk buried deep in his groin and killed him. The combination of the goddess’ tears and her lover’s blood grew a bush with a single red rose. Since then, the flower became her official symbol, a sign of her love and devotion for her dead lover.
The Greeks identified eight concepts of love.
There are different kinds of love, and the ancient Greeks are aware of it too. They differentiated each feeling into eight conceptual forms. These are agápe (the universal brotherly love), éros (the passionate and sexual love), ludus (playful love, usually for couples at the courting stage) philía (the love for a friend), philautia (self-love), storgē (the love between parents and children), mania (obsessive love), and xenia (generous love).
Eating chocolates gives off the same feeling as falling in love.
The triad of the common love gifts is a bouquet of red roses, a teddy bear, and a box of chocolates. Some can do without the roses and the bears, but not the chocolates. Eating a piece of sweet, decadent chocolate can help release dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical of the brain. This makes eating this rich dessert taste like you’re falling in love all over again.
“Love at first sight” is a real phenomenon.
Imagine the usual meet-cute trope: handsome guy bumps into a pretty girl, their eyes meet, they both apologize, they couldn’t forget the feeling they had in that brief 10 seconds, and fatefully enough, meets again in another unlikely place where they start falling in love. It’s romantically dubbed “love at first sight,” and there have been studies that support this phenomenon.
In a 2017 study, researchers found that people are likely to feel love at first sight with beautiful people. Of course, the stronger emotions of intimacy, contentment, and passion cannot be felt with the eyes alone, which is why experts hardly call it “love at first sight.”
Acts of Service is one of the five love languages.
A love language is the easiest yet most misunderstood human language there is. Some couples even misunderstand the love their partner gives as the bare minimum when it’s the complete opposite. The five love languages are Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving (or giving) Gifts, and Acts of Service. Most women find Acts of Service as the most romantic love language. This is better understood as their partner voluntarily helping with chores without telling them to.
A crush only lasts for four months.
To have a crush on someone is an amazing feeling. You’re suddenly excited, inspired to do better, you want to see them all the time, and you definitely can’t get them out of your head. But on average, a crush should only last for four months. If it exceeds, then you’ll have a hard time getting over them. You may as well be in love.
Mirroring each other’s actions is a sign of attraction.
Movements are subtle but it’s there. Body language is the easiest to tell a person’s behavior or attitude. Sometimes, when you’ve been hanging out with someone for quite a while, you tend to copy the other person’s movements. In fact, women who mimicked men’s actions were found to be increasingly sexually attractive.
“Love” came from a Sanskrit word meaning “to desire.”
It’s a universal feeling, sure, but where did the word come from? Rooted in the Indo-European word leubh, the word love meant “to care” or “to desire.” In 1904, Webster’s New American Dictionary defined it as “a feeling of intimate personal sympathy and affection towards an individual of the opposite sex.”
Kissing soothes headaches and relieves anxiety.
There are three best ways to let a person know how you truly feel: holding hands, a tight hug, and a sincere kiss. Smooching a loved one can feel rewarding, but getting a deep kiss from your spouse can relieve anxiety. Kissing can help reduce blood pressure, release oxytocin, lower stress levels, soothe headaches, and relieve anxiety. Now plump those lips and kissy-kissy!
Couples with similar facial features usually end up together.
“Are you siblings? You look the same!” is a common opinion most couples hear from people they meet for the first time. The longer a couple stays together, the more they will start copying each other’s facial expressions, eat the same food, and mimic each other’s behavior. These factors affect facial features, hence they will begin looking more like the other.
The wedding ring finger contains the “vein of love.”
The Japanese believe in the “red string of fate,” an unbreakable red ribbon tied to the pinky, which connects a person to their soulmate. There is a similar concept in Western culture. The belief of placing the engagement ring and the wedding rings on the fourth finger of the left hand is rooted in the vena amoris. This tradition began in 332 BC when Alexander the Great conquered Egypt. Rings back then were made of hemp, leather, bone, ivory, or metal.
Unfortunately, opposites do not attract.
Rivals to lovers is an appealing romantic trope but nothing could be further from the truth. Contrary to popular belief, opposites do not attract. It’s common for humans to seek someone like them, whether face-wise or personality-wise.
People who have never felt romantic love suffer from hypopituitarism.
Not everyone falls in love. Sometimes, people are too busy focusing on advancing their careers or simply too passionate about their creative endeavors. But there are people who have never felt what it’s like to be in love. Low levels of oxytocin, sometimes brought by underlying medical conditions, is a disorder called hypopituitarism. Symptoms include stomach pain, excessive thirst and urination, fatigue, anemia, headache, and sensitivity to cold among others.
There are people who actually die with a broken heart.
Ending a relationship is one of the worst things to ever happen. Crying daily, refusing to eat, and thinking that the world is over. Most people get over a broken heart after a few weeks, months, or a year. But some don’t. Broken Heart Syndrome is a rare but serious condition that may lead to severe, short-term heart muscle failure. It can be treated but not everyone manages to go through the period.
February 14 is St. Valentine’s feast day.
Single people everywhere dread this day since it makes them feel alone and unloved even more. But to lovers and believers, St. Valentine’s feast day should be celebrated. Though he was a saint highly associated with courtly love, he is also the patron saint of epilepsy and beekeepers. Not much is known about the saint except that he was arrested twice for spreading Christianity and buried at Via Flaminia on February 14.
12% of Americans found their partners online.
Online dating is around since the rise of the internet. Research found that 30% of adults in America used an online dating app. Not surprisingly, less than half of them found their spouses through the apps. From Tinder to OkCupid to Bumble, meeting a potential partner has never been easier.
Some people fall in love with their captors.
There are cases of people falling in love with their saviors, but there are some who became attached to their captors. Developing a psychological bond caused by extreme stress is called Stockholm Syndrome, coined by Swedish criminologist Nils Bejerot, after the incident where captives raised money to save the bank robbers who held them for six days.
One of the most famous cases is Patty Hearst, a woman held captive for 19 months. It was revealed that she willingly slept with her captors and joined their terror group, despite being kept against her will.
Interracial marriage was legalized in 1967.
It’s true that love sees no color or race. The Loving versus Virginia case took the world by storm. Interracial marriages were illegal, especially in a country where the whites integrating with people of color was a fairly new concept. Richard Loving, a white man, grew up in a predominantly black community and married Mildred Jeter, a woman of African-American descent. The couple won the case in 1967 when the Supreme Court ruled in their favor.
The US legalized same-sex marriage in June 2015.
The LGBTIQ community fought for their basic rights for the longest time. The right to marry someone of the same sex was only legal in a few states, but it all changed in 2015. The landmark case of Obergefell versus Hodges secured the fundamental right to marry between homosexual couples. The topic #LoveWins became the trending topic on Twitter and Facebook at the time.
It is still illegal to marry someone from a different caste in India.
India has the caste system in place for thousands of years. It separates citizens by classes based on their social positions and employment. Couples and their family are killed if they are caught marrying someone below or above their station. There are even cases of couples being killed by their own in-laws because of this. Thanks to the non-profit organization, Love Commandos, these couples are protected from harassment and honor killing.
Boys’ Love romance is gaining worldwide popularity.
Homosexuality is still taboo in some parts of Asia. There are still children who are keeping themselves in the closet and there are still parents ready to whip it out of them. On the other side of the world, girls are falling in love with Thailand’s sensational Boys Love (or BL) dramas since the COVID-19 lockdown began. These love stories are inspired by Japan’s yaoi (men on men) manga and are mostly catered to women. The most popular from the genre is 2gether: The Series starring Vachirawit Chiva-aree and Metawin Opas-iamkajorn.
The longest-married couple was together for 86 years.
Getting past the five-year mark in marriage is already a huge feat, but spending more than eight decades married requires great love and dedication. Such is the case of Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher, who was awarded The Guinness World Record for the longest-married couple. They have been married for 86 years and 290 days until the 105-year-old husband died in 2011.
Animals can be in a monogamous relationship too!
Human decency laws created the concept of staying with one partner for life called monogamy. People with different beliefs do not agree with this because, in a sense, even animals have several partners. Though rare, some animal species practice monogamy, most typically in birds like snowy owls, vultures, bald eagles, and albatrosses.
William Shakespeare coined “Love is blind”.
English playwright William Shakespeare is known for his plays and sonnets. He liked sprinkling creative insults in his works and coining new words to better express the character’s thoughts. The phrase “love is blind” can be found in several of Shakespeare’s works, most notably in the plays Two Gentlemen of Verona, Henry V, and Merchant of Venice.
It was common to get married for economic purposes.
Love and romance were out of the question in the early Middle Ages. Back then, two families who wanted to combine assets or climb up the social ladder, arranged marriage unions. Royals used to wed relatives to keep the blood pure and the wealth within the family. Egyptian pharaoh, Cleopatra, did so by marrying her brothers and uncle to keep the throne.
Keeping a pet together is beneficial for the relationship.
Couples who are terrified of raising a child usually start with pets first. Whether it be a dog, a cat, or a goldfish, it’s been proven that keeping an animal companion helps lower stress levels and makes a person happier overall. Keeping a pet together as a couple opens up avenues for parenting, handling stress, stepping up to responsibilities, and becoming better at communicating. It acts as a test to see if the couple is ready for the next stage of their relationship together.
Couples begin sharing personalities the longer they stay together.
There’s always that pivotal moment in the relationship when a couple is suddenly acting like each other. A team of psychologists from Hong Kong proved in an experiment, confirming that personality does have an effect on how similar a couple looks. If the couple is of similar age, the same level of attractiveness, and with the same interests, it’s only a matter of time before they switch or adapt to each other’s personalities.
The tradition of engagement rings began in 1477.
Cattle owners used chains to easily identify their stock, and engagement rings followed the same concept. Ancient Roman women wore rings of ivory, flint, bone, copper, and iron as a form of business ownership made by the man. It wasn’t until 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a diamond engagement ring. British company De Beers popularized diamond engagement rings in 1947 with a slogan, “A diamond is forever” signifying that love is the same.
Henry VIII founded his own religion to divorce his first wife.
Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived. Second Tudor king Henry VIII notoriously married six times, the most for any European monarch. The former Catholic king used to live by God’s words and devotedly followed the scriptures. He was extremely disappointed with Catherine of Aragorn’s failure to produce a male heir for the throne. Historians believed the king truly loved her, but the pressure to have a son took him over.
Henry VIII wrote to the Archbishop of Canterbury, asking him to dissolve the marriage with his queen. It was unheard of for a king to divorce a queen. This ultimately led to the king breaking away from the Catholic church to find Protestantism, the religion which allowed him to divorce his wife of 24 years.
Some commoners became royals thanks to true love.
Cinderella’s rags-to-riches and Snow White’s true love’s kiss are indeed fairy tales. It led some people to believe that true love is a myth created by stories. Not to these royals. A commoner is defined as a person “without rank or title.” People like celebrities, politicians, or public figures can be considered commoners, no matter how famous they are.
The most popular commoner-to-royal story is when the late American actress Grace Kelly married Rainier III of Monaco in 1956. Former news anchor Letizia Ortiz also married royalty when she wed the then-Prince Felipe VI of Spain in 2004.
Viking husbands present cats to their brides before the wedding.
Some brides believe that this is a wedding tradition that shouldn’t die. Brides were given kittens as a wedding gift in honor of Freyja, the Norse goddess of cats and marriage. One story mentions that the god of thunder Thor gave the goddess kittens that later drove her chariot.
Gladiator sweat used to be sold as an aphrodisiac.
Though they were enslaved by the Ancient Romans, gladiators were popular celebrities of their day. Their exotic facial features and strong physique made them as much as prostitutes as they were warriors. But if women couldn’t afford to buy the man, she’d buy the merchandise instead.
Items were usually sold before the match, and gladiator sweat (and blood!) is a popular choice amongst buyers. Some use sweat as perfume, some use it as medicine, while the most extreme use it as an aphrodisiac.
The phrase “tying the knot” originated from an ancient wedding tradition.
Language evolves like humans do, and even a simple tradition can become a part of the modern vernacular. “Tying the knot” began in a Renaissance ceremony called Handfasting, a contract of marriage similar to a handshake. A cord is tied around the groom’s right hand joined with the bride’s left hand, hence “tying the knot.”
The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian guidebook on love.
There’s a common misconception that the Ancient Indian book only presents sex positions when it is actually a guidebook on love. Kama Sutra, published between 400 BCE and 300 CE, is a Sanskrit literature that tackles love, finding a partner, and other pleasurable human acts, including sexual positions.
Matchmaking couples is a billion-dollar business in China.
Some Chinese parents look for their children’s potential spouses in a literal marriage market at Revolution Park where other parents put up advertisements. Matchmaking companies are common in China and Japan, where the pressure of marriage and children is at an all-time high. It’s a custom in Asia where parents didn’t like “leftover women” because they placed their careers and personal accomplishments first.
The Bible describes love beautifully.
The phrase “Love is patient, love is kind.” comes from the bible verse found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, which describes the ideal version of love in all its glory yet simplicity. Love encompasses more than just romantic attraction and feelings of ardor towards people you have a bond with.
Cupid isn’t really supposed to look like a cherubic baby.
The son of the goddess, Venus, Cupid represents love and beauty. He is depicted as a winged infant holding a bow and arrow. However, before the rise of the Roman Empire, Greeks described Cupid as a slender young man with wings. In some tales, he was even in love with a girl named Psyche, whose beauty his mother was enormously jealous of. Against all odds, the two of them did end up together in a grand wedding attended by all gods and goddesses.
The saying “communication is key” is cliché for a reason.
Communication not only allows you to express yourself to your significant other, but it also helps fulfill their needs by being able to understand their perspective on things. It’s more than just asking how their day was or what they had for lunch. Listening when they have something to say and responding accordingly can really make them feel heard, safe, and want to share their thoughts with you more.
Toxic relationships can be healed.
Toxicity in relationships can stem from a lot of factors such as jealousy, dishonesty, and controlling behavior, to name a few. It may seem like breaking up is the only solution at that point, but there are still ways in order to heal that rift. By putting an effort to view your partner with compassion, taking accountability for negative actions, and going to therapy, there’s still hope in achieving that loving, healthy relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
Attachment styles determine how you are in a relationship.
Our attachment styles stem from childhood where the relationship with our primary caregiver determines how we relate to people when we become adults. There are three attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant.
An individual has a secure attachment style when he or she has a healthy view of relationships, is self-reliant yet affectionate, and knows how to draw boundaries. On the other hand, anxious and avoidant styles usually struggle to express themselves. People with an anxious attachment style find it difficult to regulate their emotions and oftentimes show erratic behaviors, while avoidants immediately shut down and withdraw, preferring to cope alone.
Red Ginseng is probably the most powerful aphrodisiac.
Ginseng is a popular aphrodisiac, particularly, the Red Ginseng. Studies show that this herb is quite effective in improving erectile dysfunction, low libido, sexual arousal during menopause, and increased sperm count. Some benefits also include the body’s general well-being.
Padlocks of Love have become dangerous over the years.
This act of writing names in a padlock and attaching it to a bridge’s railing dates back to 100 years ago in Europe. In order to signify unbreakable love, the key is often thrown away after lovers inscribe their initials or the date. Although romantic as it may seem, love locking is branded as an act of vandalism and pose a great danger to bridges nowadays. Authorities at the Pont des Arts in Paris have even removed them since the bridge was already threatening to collapse because of the weight.
The most romantic place in the world isn’t what you think.
When one thinks about the most ideal place to get engaged it’s usually in Paris with the Eiffel Tower in the background. Surprisingly, however, the top spot goes to none other than the happiest place in the world, Disneyland! Apparently, out of the twelve Disney Parks in the world, people still prefer the Paris park more, perhaps because it’s located in the City of Love, which has the perfect blend of joy and romance. Disney even offers proposal packages ranging from $7,500-$10,000.
Do love potions really work?
Since ancient times, it is believed that love potions can make someone considerably infatuated. However, its effectiveness up to this day is still quite elusive. People used to develop different kinds of concoctions made from herbs, plants, and even animal fat to come up with the best one. However, there is no known scientific evidence that proves such potions work. In modern times, some people rely on aphrodisiacs and sometimes, chemically induced hormones called pheromones found in perfumes and oils, in order to seduce the opposite sex.
The greatest love story ever told came from none other than Shakespeare.
William Shakespeare’s most renowned play ever written about star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet, is by far, the greatest love story ever told. The main characters in the story were blinded by deep infatuation as an escape from their respective circumstances.
Focusing on the romantic bits, all its themes from love at first sight to forbidden love, resonate universally for a lot of people. The unforgettably tragic ending also takes the last slice, making it so popular throughout the ages.