F is not a dirty word

And yes, I’m talking about the actual F Word.

Throughout my first year at university, I have often found that, once people have discovered I am a Feminist (being required to declare and defend this allegiance in the same one would when supporting Communism, or being Scottish), their first reaction, after checking for any obvious signs of lesbianism, is ‘But we don’t need Feminism any more’.

This is not such a surprising reaction: women do now have the vote and equal legal rights to men; the fact that I am able to attend university and have this discussion in the first place shows that many of the barriers women faced in education have also been eradicated; and many guys, often rightly so, feel insulted when accused of treating women any differently then they would men.

However, although the feminist movements of the past century have undeniably achieved a great deal for women’s rights, and it is a philosophy which has a great deal of publicity and support from both genders, it is clearly not a problem which has been eradicated altogether. Though unnoticed by many, ingrained misogynistic views still bubble under the surface, subtly creeping into the thoughts and words of many, ensuring that women are still prevented from being perceived equally to men.

This leads me on to my tale of the F Word. One  afternoon, myself and my (now ex) boyfriend were in the kitchen. Being unblessed with any culinary abilities, the apparently ‘simple’ pasta dish I had been trying to create for the two of us  had, somehow, exploded across the kitchen. As is a natural reaction to such a cooking disaster, I began to swear loudly before trying to scrape said pasta off of the ceiling with a spatula. My boyfriend, however, was horrified, not at my inability to cook even the simplest of meals, but at the fact that I had used a series of 4 letter words which would not be allowed on the BBC before 9pm to announce my distress at the event.

‘Women shouldn’t swear’, he announced in trying to justify his disgust at my behaviour, ‘it’s just so un-lady-like. It makes them less attractive’

Here is a clear case of 21st century sexism. Why is it that he felt that it was acceptable for men to swear, but not women? What part of me having a vagina means I have less of a right to use expletives than he does? I know that this is a one off case, and I’m by no means claiming that this is the way all men think, but I do think it highlights that there remains an unacknowledged set of expectations over how women should act, which is still heavily influenced by guidelines which stem from the Victorian era.

Women should not use vulgar language.They should be sweet and delicate.They should not enter into the semantic systems possessed by males; that makes them far too close to the masculine world they need to be excluded from. 

My argument here is not to advocate swearing, but rather, to highlight the fact that there are still different expectations over how man and women should act, despite the fact that many people would claim both genders are equal now. It mirrors the reaction some women receive for having a large amount of sexual partners or choosing not to have children; acts that are deemed as acceptable or normal for men are perceived very differently when performed by a woman.

Just think about it next time you hear a woman swear on television or in the street. Does it change your perception of her in a negative way? Do you suddenly see her as aggressive or lesser educated; does she become less attractive or lady-like? And, most importantly, would you think about a man in the same way if you heard him to tell his destroyed dinner that he’d see them next Tuesday?