Dirty word of the day

Rude In Public!

Go ahead. Type it out.

Monday, May 08, 2006

As children of the Most High God, we are to exude a supernatural lifestyle of prosperity in every facet of our lives. When reading the Word of God closely, it’s not hard to see that God expects order, diligence, and competence from us. That especially includes the work place. How much productivity do you give your boss? Do you standout as one of the best workers in the company (and «kiss ups» don’t count)?


Listen to the exhortation of the Holy Spirit through Paul in Ephesians 6:5-7.


«Bondservants (can be interpreted employees), be obedient to those who are your masters(or employers) according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ;not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,«with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men,»

To prosper in our lives we must work, plain and simple. We speak with great reverence of the patriarchs of antiquity (as we should) such as, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, and Paul. These men acted as oracles of God and have such revelation of His Word. «Well they prayed day and night, they got to focus completely on ministry.» Nothing could be further from the truth.

• Abraham: cattle rearer
• Moses: shepherd
• Joshua: slave and warrior
• David: shepherd
• Paul: tent maker
• Jesus: carpenter

These men and Jesus all worked hard (much harder than I’m sure you and I with all of the niceties of industry and technology now). 

Listen, you can’t not work and expect God’s blessings. It doesn’t matter if you gave a million dollars, you need some channel for that to return. God needs your labor and giving and he will bless. That’s the recipe.

1/2 — labor

1/2 — consistent giving

= a whole lot of heavenly blessings.

Laziness is something God hates. Solomon writes in Proverbs that those who lazily nap the day away will be visited by the thief of poverty. Poverty is a curse. It doesn’t teach you humility, it curses you and makes your ability to bless others impotent and your womb barren. We have been commanded to be a blessing to the world. 

Somebody may need some food, or children needing a jacket and shoes. A single mother may need a vehicle to drive to work to support her three children. Now, how can you help those people. A track? Please, the Gospel is being a blessing to them. When you show them such extraordinary love then they see Jesus through your good works and praise God. 

So, learn to work and enjoy work. Here are 7 ways.

Unschooling. Just the word evokes feelings of rebellion. It’s not public school, it’s not private school, and it’s not even homeschooling(in the traditional sense). Unschooling is probably one of the most misunderstood terms in the education community. This morning my facebook page was all a buzz with statuses, some condemning some praising, after ABC did a story on Extreme Parenting:’Radical Unschooling‘. I admit, I got about half-way through the story before I turned it off. This family is very obviously on the extreme side, hence the reason they were chosen, and the story is decidedly one sided. So with this little disclaimer, I do not unschool so my opinions are based on research rather than experience, I would like to share my little blurb on unschooling.

Joel Hawthorne said «Unschooling is primarily about process not content. The process of learning, the process of knowing yourself, openness, confidence, self-determination, independent thinking, critical thinking….none of which one gets when following other people’s agenda. Making one’s own agenda is what it is all about. Again this is done not in isolation but in the context of ones family and community.»

Other parents simply say it is learning without the trappings of a schoolroom. There is no doubt that parents who unschool are concerned about their child’s education. There is not even any doubt that the children learn. But what about the child who doesn’t chose to do math? Or the child who hates English. I can tell you that had I been unschooled I would have, without at doubt, done nothing but science all day long. I enjoy science and I hate math and before I got married planned on going into the medical field (genetics), but now, after a change of heart about where God would like me to be, that math comes in handy! I need to know how to budget, balance accounts, measure for cooking, and so on. As a child I did not have the reasoning skills to think about what I might do in the future, only what I wanted to do right then.

But not all unschooling falls under this extreme approach (the one mentioned above). There are many unschoolers who put in the «required» work and then allow the children to explore those requirements in a more natural way. For instance instead of doing workbooks about measurement they might cook, or maybe for English they would exchange letters with a penpal.

The fact of the matter is that there are extremes in everything. I do not agree with the complete lack of structure in the video posted. It seems to go completely against I Corinthians 14:33 «For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.» God has set up a structure for everything he has created so it makes sense that the home requires structure as well. However, I believe that he intends for us to find balance between the needs and the desires. I think He wants us to enjoy the gift of our education and the best way to encourage a child to learn is to make it fun!

I think all of us have a bit of unschooling in our system and I don’t think that is a bad thing.

I know this will be a controversial post for some people. Many medical professionals do not agree with my views… which is fine because I do not agree with  theirs. 😉 Joking aside, many doctors, therapists, and even some people within the dissociative identity disorder (DID) community feel that integration is the holy grail of healing persons from DID.
To me? Integration is a dirty word.

If you have not read this blog before, I call my “alters”, my Helpers. Hence the name of the blog. 😉

Even now while writing this, I can feel my inner world starting to freak out. Anxiety, worry, a wish to run away, feeling overwhelmed, getting angry… that is what my Helpers deal with every time this word is said. I feel it too. Big time. I feel totally in control today and I am always out front when writing but I can still feel the weight of inner feelings especially when they are shaken up.

I can not speak for everyone else out there but I can speak for myself and I will express how I personally feel about the issue of integration. If you disagree, I’d love for you to write a blog on it and forward it on to me. I’d love to read other opinions. 🙂

Having DID is not easy. Every situation that happens garners my own emotions but then the Helpers step in with theirs as well. Have you ever been at a big get-together and try to get everyone to stop and listen to you? Can you imagine trying to come to agreements about certain important issues? There will be as many opinions as their are people. DID is a lot like that every day.
That said? Some of the same people who may drive you batty would also rush to your aid if you suddenly collapsed or started having real troubles coping. DID is a lot like that too.

I believe that my Helpers started coming in to existence between the ages of 2 and 4. I know for sure there were several there when I was 4 and 5 but I have a feeling they were there earlier. For me? I’ve never had a life without my Helpers in it. For the purpose of this blog, I will set aside all the confusion and thinking I saw dead people and just discuss my view since being properly diagnosed.

As much as life with DID can get hectic, I am never bored and never lonely. I have company at all times and honestly? I am not sure I’d enjoy life so much without it. I was once on medication that made them almost silent (and made me a zombie) and that was a very sad and lonely time for me. I am also ALWAYS full of ideas for new things and ways to use things that I myself may have never thought of.

I also have a huge issue with integrating these people whom I have come to view as such a big part of my life. Who do I get rid of first? Little “Hannah Banana”? My ever faithful sidekick Rielyn? Old man Oscar? Tilly who helped me birth a baby when I was too young to mentally handle it on my own? I am sorry but full integration is never going to happen because each of these Helpers are important to me as individuals.

I am also very aware that each of them is a part of me. A very compartmentalized part of me but still essentially “me”. While it would be all neat and tidy to roll the Helpers and I in to one person, I honestly feel I would end up completely overwhelmed. At least right now there is separation between all these opinions and emotions.

So what do I want? What do I feel is healthy?
Teamwork.
Rather than working on getting each Helper to integrate, I spend that time trying to work out the kinks in our relationships and certain actions. I will use Jenna as an example. She was always having issues with self harm and quite often these “events” were incredibly scary. I still have many scars. Trying to integrate her causes panic, more dissociation and more self harm. Working out a deal between us was FAR more productive. Jenna admitted in writing and through art that she often used self harm not only as a release but also in trying to fix old scars. A deal was made that if there was no self harm for 6 months, we would get a tattoo to cover one set of scars. 6 months later was another tattoo to cover more. Jenna LOVES her tattoo’s and I love them too. She found a new strength during a year of no self harming that she still possesses today. Integration made her run away and refuse help but making a deal with her stopped the harmful behavior and allowed me to take care of her.

One by one, we work out deals. We make rules that certain age groups MUST follow. No one under 18 drives. No one under 18 signs important documents. Only I (Heather) goes to therapy. If anyone has a concern, they can write it down and I will take care of it or help them with it. There are a few other rules that are for safety, friendship, being creative and so forth. These rules are enough for me to feel good about my team of Helpers.

There will always be mess ups, uncomfortable situations, missing time, forgotten occasions and other issues that persons with DID have but would full integration solve all of these issues? And what about all the PTSD triggers they help me through? How often I would have fled out of a movie theater, ran my car off the road at a fright, been unable to function at social events before I was able to stay more present? My life would have been far worse. I am sure of it. My Helpers came in to being for excellent reasons and I do not wish to thank them by making them null and void.  Also, I am aware of 34 Helpers… integration could or would take FOREVER. I’d rather live my life with my team. They help me and I help them. For me personally? That is enough.

Rules