Constant pressure to excel in all aspects of life - Word и Excel - помощь в работе с программами

For generations, our life expectations remained relatively constant. You’re born on the family farm, and by the time you can walk, your parents start grooming you to take over the family farm one day. You learn the requisite skills, get married, have kids… and the cycle renews. But things have changed. There’s a pressure to excel, because from a very young age, we’re told that anything is possible.

I want to be an astronaut, a movie star, the president of the United States. Anything is possible. And because anything is possible, anything short of incredible is a disappointment. Of course, by definition, we can’t all be exceptional on average. We must, on average, be average. But we’re told that we’re special. We’re not like everyone else, except of course we are.

Ahead of the Curve

In grade 4, I was pulled aside by my teacher because she identified me as “gifted” when it came to math. She called in a special tutor, a grade 6 or 7 student at the school, who would teach me grade 5 math while the rest of the class followed the standard curriculum. I felt special.

In grade 5 and 6, now at a different school, I was once again identified as “gifted.” So, I was pulled aside along with some other “gifted” students to participate in the “enrichment program.” We’d learn and explore topics off the standard curriculum in a bit more of an open format. One year was architecture. Another was law, including a visit to the courts downtown where we held a mock trial. Judge Michael presiding. You may now be seated.

In grade 8, now in high school, I was chosen for the accelerated math and science programs. I’d complete three years of coursework (8-10) in two years. This led to taking Chemistry 12 in grade 11, and first year university Calculus in grade 12. And generally speaking, I did well. And I, at least from an academic standpoint, felt special.

The Underachieving Overachiever

I don’t say any of the things above in an effort to gloat. Instead, it’s about setting up the context for my current bouts of anxiety and depression. When you’re told, directly or indirectly, that you are “special” or “extraordinary” in some way from a very young age, you internalize a certain set of expectations. You come to believe that anything less than exceptional isn’t good enough.

This is how I come to feel like my successes are grossly overshadowed by my failures. Objectively speaking, life is pretty good. Above average, even. But then I can’t help but dwell on the areas where I’m coming up short. Or where I perceive that I’m coming up short. When you’re groomed as an overachiever, typical, average mediocrity is underachieving.

What results, as you may gather from the title of today’s blog post, is a pressure to excel. This pressure, real or imagined, comes from those closest to us, as well as from society as a whole. Realistically, I don’t think my loved ones really care or notice any incremental quantitative success; they just want me to be happy, just as I want them to be happy. And yet, I feel condemned to be remarkable, and anything less than that just isn’t good enough.

The Curse of Comparison

Before the meteoric rise of social media, we compared ourselves to mass media and popular culture. It’s perfectly understandable that we’d be entranced by the lifestyles of the rich and famous. We also understood that such lifestyles were the stuff of daydreams. They weren’t really grounded in reality.

But with social media, we’re comparing ourselves to our peers (and our perceived peers). Not only that, but we’re comparing ourselves to the curated versions of their lives. I see my mundane, everyday existence and see how it pales in comparison to the superstar influencer, blogger, vlogger or Internet celebrity. The pressure to excel intensifies, because these #goals are presented as reasonably attainable.

When will we be satisfied with “good enough”? When will we accept mediocrity as perfectly sufficient, more than adequate for leading a happy and fulfilling life? Ambition is a good thing, to be sure, but how can we balance that with gratitude and mental health? Or will we always be cursed, viewing our lives as ones of disappointment, which leads to depression, which leads to poorer performance… an unbroken vicious cycle?

How do you cope?

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Everyone’s idea of excelling at life is different. You are an individual person with a unique set of life experiences. These experiences have influenced your ideas about yourself, your goals, the world, and your definition of success. Excelling at life doesn’t always mean that your life will be a smoothly running machine where you’ve overcome every failure and achieved all of your dreams. Be realistic about what excelling at life means to you. Make creative, flexible goals, and develop a hardy sense of self-worth and confidence. It’s also important to understand that success means doing your best.

1

Make a list of your ideals and values. Think about the ideals, values, and moral attributes that are important to you. These might include being a good friend or being healthy. Values and ideals are the ideas about life that you think you need to excel. They are different from goals in that goals are more concrete actions that can be completed.^[1]
2
Make a list of all the ways you can excel in life. The first step is to figure out what excelling at life means to you, as well as for your values and the kind of life you want to have. It may take time to sort through all of these questions and to decide what excelling at life truly means for you. Try to create the broadest possible definition of excelling in life: short-term, long-term, big dreams and small successes.
- Get a journal or notebook that you dedicate solely to your new vision of your life and how you want to see yourself succeed. Start by making a list of all the ways you could excel at life, whether they are realistic or not. Write down your highest aspirations all the way down to simple things like doing the dishes every day.
- You may find that your definition of excelling at life can start with making small changes every day, whether it has to do with your personal health, finances, career goals, family, romance, personality traits such as being more kind, or nurturing your friendships. ^[2]
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3
Make a list of your goals. Look at your list of the ways you can excel. Then look at your list of values and ideals. Begin to figure out how they match up. Which goals accentuate your views about life and the kind of person you want to be?^[3] Start to group the ways you want to excel into similar categories, such as career goals, hobby goals, health goals, family and friendship goals.
- Then group these into long-term and short-term goals. You might have a health goal of being able to weight-lift 300 pounds, or you might have a career goal of becoming a journalist, or you might want to wash the dishes every night.
4
Prioritize your goals. Now that you have started to get clear on what excelling means for you, start prioritizing your goals. Which ones are long-term goals that will make you feel like you are excelling at life? Which goals can you practice on a daily basis in order to feel like you are living your life in a positive direction?
- Excelling at life can be as simple as interacting with people with kindness, being a more organized person, investigating bigger life changes like a career change, or making an effort to spend more time with your family and friends.
- The most important part of defining what excelling at life is for you is that it resonates with who you are as an authentic person and what kind of life you want to live.^[4]
5
Find role models. Your journal will become your personal source for focus and inspiration. Perhaps you have people in your life who inspire you because of their attitudes, strength, and perseverance. Find a picture of them or something that reminds you of them, and paste it in your journal. Use your role models to inspire you and remind you of what you aspire to be.
- You can also consider famous people, such as musicians or athletes, who inspire you because of their life, their actions, or that you can look up to and admire. For example, the Dalai Lama has been a symbol of peace for decades, even under great adversity. You don’t have to become the Dalai Lama to remind yourself of his strength and attitude. This reminder can help you stay focused on the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live. Think of these people as inspirational tools.

1
Be flexible with your goals. Let your idea of excelling at life evolve as you do. Shaping your life into an experience you feel is excellent may take some trial and error. You may think you want to achieve something, such as a high-powered career as an attorney who works 80 hours a week. But what happens when you decide you want to have a family? You might find that as your values change, your goals will change to reflect those values.
- For example, maybe you wanted to be a veterinarian. But once you investigated the schooling and medical skills required, you discovered that you don’t really want to work with animals in that way. Using your journal, start to explore other careers that involve working with animals. Maybe you want to make natural pet treats, work at a human society, be a dog trainer, or foster animals in your home. Learning how to excel at life means getting to know yourself in a very authentic way and being flexible in achieving your goals. ^[5]
2
Periodically reassess your plan. Don’t limit yourself in making changes that you feel will match your definition of excellence in life. However, one of the biggest factors of success in living a fulfilling life is resilience.
- Maybe you want to plan a movie night for your family, but no one can agree on a movie, or family members make other plans. Basically, your goal for that day did not work out. Maybe your plan can be adjusted to asking people in your family what they would like to do to spend more time with you. Maybe you need to organize individual time with everyone instead of planning group activities. Don’t give up on your goals. Instead, reinvent, redesign, and always go back to the drawing board. Be resilient and stay focused on your goal to spend more quality time with your family. ^[6]
3
Don’t underestimate the little things. Make a list of small things you can excel in every day. This will help you feel like you’re moving towards excellence. Excelling at life comes down to appreciating yourself enough to know you deserve a fulfilling life. Besides career, money, family, there is also YOU!
- Excelling at life could mean trying to laugh more, trying to be kinder in your everyday interactions, starting a realistic workout regimen, eating better, or taking lessons like painting, golf, or dancing. When you engage in a life that feels authentic to you, you are excelling at life. It can be that simple.^[7]
4

Continue to build your list of ways to excel. Using your journal, keep building your list of ways to excel in life. Life is a journey and there is always more to explore. As you continue to evolve and your ideas of what excelling at life continue to evolve, be flexible and listen to your intuition. Educate yourself about the goals you are striving for and don’t be afraid to switch directions if you have new ideas or thoughts. ^[8]
5
Post reminders of your goals. Remind yourself of where you want to be and the attitudes you want to encompass. Make posters or reminders that you hang in your office or home.
- Start a collection of motivational quotes on index cards that you keep with you. Collect quotes from the internet, books, movies, or your friends. This can come in handy if you feel discouraged or frustrated. For example, the quote, “Courage is the rarest of talents,” can help you remember that living a fulfilling life can be hard but is very brave.

1
Write down your positive qualities. In order to excel at life, you have to want to excel at life. You will have to develop discipline, perseverance, resilience, and drive. The easiest road to developing these qualities is learning to value yourself for your abilities, courage, worth, and valuing your existence ^[9] Engage in positive self-talk by writing down all the positive qualities you can think of about yourself. Add to this list as much as you can.
- Read this list every morning when you start your day. You are the agent in creating your life, so if you are going to be mentally and emotionally prepared to strive to excel in your life, you need to nurture your self-confidence to the point that you believe in yourself. Celebrate yourself for even wanting to create an excellent life. ^[10]
2
Reframe negative themes in your life. You may have received negative messages in the past from your childhood, your social experiences, or the society you live in. Those messages can be much more ingrained than you think.
- Write down every negative thing you have ever been told, or that you think about yourself. Take some time to look at that list and start reframing negative themes that there may be in your life. For example, everyone has made mistakes in their life. Are you still holding on to guilt and shame about these mistakes? Did someone tell you that you were stupid or worthless while you were growing up? Do you still somehow hold on to that message and let it hinder you?
- In order to excel at life, you must begin to shed those negative messages and replacing them with positive ones. An easy example of this that most people engage in is negative self-talk. Say you dropped your keys on accident. What are the first thoughts in your head? Perhaps you think, “I’m so stupid, I can’t even hold on to keys.” If you pay attention, you may find you speak very harshly to yourself throughout the day. In striving to excel, you are the coach, the team, and the star player. You have to start treating yourself as someone who deserves the excellent life you are building. ^[11]
3
Empower yourself. A major factor in creating lasting, positive change in your life is that you have to see yourself as someone who can create change. Take responsibility for who you are, what you do, and what you choose. Embrace the power of choice in your life, and understand that every day you are making choices.
- Remove the word «can’t» from your vocabulary. «Can’t» is a word that stops creativity and makes you feel stuck in your situation. But the word is usually a replacement for a real meaning. For example, you might say, «I can’t speak French.» What you really mean to say is: «I don’t know how to speak French.» When you say «can’t,» there is an assumption that there is no solution. If you say that you don’t know how to do something, then you recognize that you have agency in a situation to change how you act or think.^[12]
- For example, yes, you get up and go to work every day….but do you HAVE to? Absolutely not. You could choose to stay in bed and lose your job. Choices have consequences, but it is very important to shift the focus from things you feel you are bound by to understanding the power of choice you have in your life. Will you choose to go to work? Yes, because you don’t want the consequences of losing your job. It’s still a choice. You are an agent of change, and you make choices every day. Empower yourself by fully embracing the power of choice that you have. ^[13]
4
Keep a positive perspective. Is the glass half empty or half full? Or is it just a glass with some water in it? Creating a life where you feel you are excelling depends heavily on your perspective. Along with creativity, resilience, and determination, your perspective on life and reality goes a long way in determining feeling as though you are striving for mastery of your life.
- Write down some examples of things that recently disappointed you and then write down how you felt about it. For example, maybe your small cupcake business isn’t doing so well. Does that mean defeat to you? Does that mean that life is working against you so that you never will be happy? Take a look at the statements you have written down. Perhaps they are black and white statements like: “I will never get what I want. Nothing ever goes my way.”
- Try reframing these statements and internalizing a new perspective. For example, instead of taking the perspective that you have failed, try to reframe that thought. Tell yourself, “Okay, there must be another way to do business, something else I can try, a different way to market, or maybe I need to explore a different business model.”
- Try to notice if you shut yourself down without giving a new perspective a chance. In order to excel at life, you have to view life as something that you want and will excel at with endless possibilities and a healthy desire to strive to explore those possibilities. ^[14]
5
Remind yourself that you’re doing your best. It is important to remember to be kind and easy on yourself. In order to create resiliency, self-esteem, and self-worth, you must be okay with things not working out. To keep the flame of determination as you work towards excelling at your life, you must keep yourself in a healthy mind space of doing your best according to the circumstances. ^[15]
- Always doing your best regardless of outcome also will reduce your stress and keep the focus on things that you can control. This will help you empower yourself, strengthen your sense of agency, and let go of stresses over things outside of your control. You did your best, and that is excelling.^[16]
- Let’s say that your cupcake business just isn’t a feasible business venture. If you explored all your options, enacted creative changes, and truly gave your all in making the cupcakes sell, you have done your best. Although you may perceive your cupcake business a failure, you did your best, and that is a success. You got practice using all of your skills and brilliance and that is a success. You tried something different. That is a success.^[17]
- Knowing you did your best and focusing on that as excelling instead of the outcome will help you keep trying new things and striving for the life you want. ^[18]
6

Appreciate your circumstances. Doing your best will be different for everyone depending on the day, circumstances and context. If you were sick and didn’t execute a project to your expectations, take into consideration that you were sick. You did the project anyway, and under the circumstances of being sick, you did your best. That’s all you can do, and doing your best is always reason to feel good about yourself.
7

Keep a daily log of what you did best. In your journal, start making daily logs of ways that you did your best that day. Maybe you had a difficult day at work where you felt misunderstood or blamed for something that went wrong. It’s easy to feel shame and embarrassed, but instead honestly ask yourself, did I do my best? Journal about ways you did do your best and ways you could have done things differently.

1

Surround yourself with positive people. These are friends and family members who will encourage you and support you. You may have to take some stock in your personal relationships and make decisions about the people in your life and whether or not they hold you up or pull you down. Honor yourself. Part of honoring yourself is honoring that you deserve to be around healthy, supportive people. Excelling at life is a pretty hefty goal, and it involves every aspect of your interactions.
2
Nurture relationships with the people who are important to you. Part of excelling in your life is having thriving relationships that are mutually supportive. Think about how you be a better friend, partner, or parent. Think about why you truly value the people in your life who love and support you.
- It can help to write down your thoughts about these people. Write about the help you have received from people in your life. Include how you want to best help and support them. This can help you recognize concrete ways that you can strengthen your relationships.
3
Contribute to your community. Becoming a well-rounded, grounded and aware person who excels in life also means becoming involved in your community. Tune in to your empathy and compassion. Learn how to show these qualities to others. This will not only make a difference for someone who needs help, but can also benefit you, your sense of yourself, and your sense of the world. It will also help you feel proactive and empowered.
- Think about areas of service you think you might be interested in. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, after school program, the humane society or animal rescue. If you’d rather volunteer other skills, you could try offering your skills in web design, accounting, or tax help to nonprofit organizations. There are many ways to give back while building a life and personhood you can feel proud of.

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References

↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
↑ Sullivan, Gregory S.; Strode, James P. Motivation through Goal Setting: A Self-Determined Perspective Strategies: A Journal for Physical and Sport Educators, v23 n6 p19-23 Jul-Aug 2010.
↑ http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html
↑ Cerasoli, Christopher P.; Ford, Michael T. Intrinsic Motivation, Performance, and the Mediating Role of Mastery Goal Orientation: A Test of Self-Determination Theory. Journal of Psychology. May2014, Vol. 148 Issue 3, p267-286.
↑ Cerasoli, Christopher P.; Ford, Michael T. Intrinsic Motivation, Performance, and the Mediating Role of Mastery Goal Orientation: A Test of Self-Determination Theory. Journal of Psychology. May 2014, Vol. 148 Issue 3, p267-286.
↑ Locke, Edwin A.; Latham, Gary P. New Directions in Goal-Setting Theory. Current Directions in Psychological Science (Wiley-Blackwell). Oct. 2006, Vol. 15 Issue 5, p265-268.
↑ Locke, Edwin A.; Latham, Gary P. New Directions in Goal-Setting Theory. Current Directions in Psychological Science (Wiley-Blackwell). Oct2006, Vol. 15 Issue 5, pp. 265-268.
↑ Cerasoli, Christopher P.; Ford, Michael T. Intrinsic Motivation, Performance, and the Mediating Role of Mastery Goal Orientation: A Test of Self-Determination Theory. Journal of Psychology. May 2014, Vol. 148 Issue 3, p267-286.
↑ Pomeroy, Heather; Clark, Arthur J. Self-Efficacy and Early Recollections in the Context of Adlerian and Wellness Theory. Journal of Individual Psychology. Spring2015, Vol. 71 Issue 1, p24-33.

↑ Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psycho-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vol. 9 Issue 1, p51-58.
↑ Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psyhco-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vol. 9 Issue 1, p51-58.
↑ http://www.embracepossibility.com/blog/empower-yourself-now/
↑ Devloo, Toon; Anseel, Frederik; De Beuckelaer, Alain; Salanova, Marisa. Keep the fire burning: Reciprocal gains of basic need satisfaction, intrinsic motivation and innovative work behaviour. European Journal of Work & Organizational Psychology. Aug2015, Vol. 24 Issue 4, p491-504.
↑ Klymchuk, Vitaly. THE MOTIVATIONAL DIMENSIONS OF LIFE EVENTS’ PERCEPTION: Towards an Individual Motivational Mapping on Self-Determination Theory basis. Education Sciences & Psychology. 2014, Vol. 28 Issue 2, p78-92.
↑ Yang, Yunxi; Danes, Sharon M. Resiliency and Resilience Process of Entrepreneurs in New Venture Creation. Entrepreneurship Research Journal. Jan2015, Vol. 5 Issue 1, p1-30.
↑ Martin, Andrew J. Implicit theories about intelligence and growth (personal best) goals: Exploring reciprocal relationships. British Journal of Educational Psychology. June 2015, Vol. 85 Issue 2, pp. 207-223.
↑ Yang, Yunxi; Danes, Sharon M. Resiliency and Resilience Process of Entrepreneurs in New Venture Creation. Entrepreneurship Research Journal. Jan2015, Vol. 5 Issue 1, p1-30.
↑ Liu, Ya; Wang, Zhenhong; Zhou, Changjiang; Li, Tong. Affect and self-esteem as mediators between trait resilience and psychological adjustment. Personality & Individual Differences. Aug 2014, Vol. 66, pp. 92-97.

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Six Tools to Transform the Pressure to Excel

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By: Chinwe Esimai

Follow your dreams. Realize your potential. Dare to lead. Live your legacy.

During the Q&A portion of a work-and-life conference at which I delivered a keynote, someone asked how I respond to women who perceive advice to follow their dreams as pressure.

As one who has myself articulated variations of the phrases above and supported them with actionable advice from personal experience, I love this question. I love it because it challenges advice that we may take for granted, and invites us to address some assumptions.

First, we acknowledge that we live in a time of incredible change. It is a time of disruption across industries and societies, a time when women are being recognized for the value they bring, and a time when barriers are being broken and new paths are being walked.

With change and disruption comes great uncertainty regarding how to integrate the old and new and move into the future. With disruption also comes enormous possibility. Societies, industries, and the world stand to benefit when all human beings realize and live their potential, follow their dreams, dare to lead, and live their legacies.

Here are six tools for women who perceive the invitation to excel as pressure.

1) You have the right to say no to your dreams.

While this may seem to be at odds with advice to follow your dreams, the truth is that we have free will. A lot of us have the gift of living in societies with enormous freedoms, yet millions of women do not have that gift. The transformation of societies noted above includes bringing the truth of human potential to societies where those freedoms are greatly challenged.

Most women who read this have the ability to choose among various paths. We have the right to determine what is best for us and to reject, suspend, or postpone even those things that are good for us. Embrace and exercise that right.

[Related: The Dark Power of Perseverance That No One Talks About]

2) Go inward.

Articulate your own dream; don’t simply follow a trend. Do follow your dreams if they come from within. Do follow them if they are unique to you and were placed in your heart from birth or through your life experiences.

How do you tell the difference between following the crowd and a deeper calling? You discern by inquiring within—in silence—through prayer, meditation, or quiet reflection. No one can discern this for you. You can receive help along the way, but you must discern.

3) Imagine alternate paths.

Use a notebook or journal to carry out this exercise. Imagine what will happen if you don’t follow your dreams. What will you be doing in five years? How will you feel? What will you see and hear? Who will you be with? What will you say about yourself—to yourself and to others?

Next, imagine what will happen if you do follow your dreams. What will you be doing in five years? How will you feel? What will you see and hear? Who will you be with? What will you say about yourself—to yourself and to others?

Once you’ve completed the exercise, make a choice, and be sure to take steps that are consistent with your choice.

4) Your dreams are valid no matter the size.

Some erroneously conclude that advice regarding following one’s dreams is limited to big dreams. I work in the area of anti-bribery and anti-corruption. I am committed to disrupting the decades-old issue that limits countries’ ability to realize their full economic potential. This is an example of a big dream—it spans many countries and has a global impact. It is not limited to a specific family, community, or unit.

Not all dreams need to be that big. I also have smaller dreams that I’m deeply committed to, such as those involving my family and personal relationships. These are small dreams with enormous impact. What is most important is not the size of the dream, but whether in fulfilling them, you believe that you are living in accordance with the highest and greatest good.

[Related: Job Crafting – Create Meaning in Your Work]

5) Explore your purpose.

Part of the reason some perceive advice to follow their dreams as pressure is because they haven’t tuned in to their life’s purpose. I believe each of us is called to accomplish various things in this world. If you haven’t identified what those are for you, spend some time thinking about them and exploring them.

What interests you and what are you curious about? What are you excited to do? Sara Blakely, businesswoman and founder of Spanx, describes purpose as “the intersection of what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and how you want to serve the world.” Cultivate those, and you will be more connected with your purpose.

6) Get a mentor or coach.

Women who do know their purpose and are clear on what their dreams are often don’t know how to go about executing them. Or they may be dealing with fear—of success, of failure, or of the unknown.

Just as a sports coach challenges an athlete to sharpen her skills and attain higher forms of excellence, a life or career coach challenges an individual to push through comfort zones and barriers that are self- or society-imposed and attain higher forms of excellence. I highly recommend getting one.

For those who may not be in a position to hire a coach, it is easier than ever to access valuable information and advice online. Identify a mentor or coach whose message resonates deeply, and who has walked the path you seek to walk. Study them with the intention, not to admire or to be entertained, but to go deeper and discover how to consistently execute your goals.

Choose life!

In choosing to live your dreams, you are choosing life itself. You are choosing to live in harmony with the highest and greatest good. In choosing to dance with your life’s purpose, you touch the very essence of life.

That is not pressure. That is what we are here for.

[Related: Six Reasons Why Selfish is the New Black]

—

Chinwe Esimai is Managing Director and Chief Anti-Bribery Officer at Citigroup, where she oversees the firm’s global anti-bribery program. She was born in Nigeria and is passionate about inspiring immigrant women leaders. She shares leadership insights at chinweesimai.com.

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Ever wonder how to excel in life? Especially since so much feels like it’s out of your control? It’s difficult not to overthink things, trying to figure out the exact right thing to do, the perfect steps to take. The problem with that is you end up stuck in indecision, and never get started (procrastination is often due to overthinking, not laziness).

And what about when the unexpected happens, upending your plans completely (pandemic, anyone)? How do you excel then?

The good news is you can still excel in life – even when the world feel like it’s going crazy. Because your ability to excel (personally, professionally, in your business and so on) has more to do with you than external variables.

And success isn’t just about achieving things. Excelling in life means being content with your decision-making and happy with where you are (even as you work to get to a different – maybe “better” – place). Which means success starts from within and is created from the inside-out.

Read on for 10 important life tips for how to excel in life by creating success from the inside-out (on your terms). And be sure to grab your copy of this guide that contains 8 science-backed strategies for rewiring your mind to be calm, confident and in control. It’s your starting point for less stress, a positive mindset and a happier life (which will enable you to achieve more too!).

10 Life Tips for How to Excel In Life

You’ll notice that most of the tips below revolve around your mindset and how you choose to think (and – of course – having the right support). There a reason for that…. In order to create success from the inside-out, you’ll need:

Clarity of purpose. This is about what will bring fulfillment to your life. Once you know that, it’s easier to determine what you want (out of work/business and life in general) and your path forward.
Courage to act (and keep going when things are hard, mistakes are made and you fail). You can’t excel in life without risking failure, which is hard and requires the right mentality.
Confidence in yourself. This is about knowing you’ll make mistakes but can learn along the way. And also trusting yourself to course correct as you go.

The tips below will help you do all of the above. So, here are my top life tips for how to excel in life and be happily successful:

#1: Redefine Success

Succeeding in life isn’t really about where you end up. Unfortunately, most success definitions are destination-based.

Success is about how you choose to live life (and hence, living a life with purpose). Your outlook matters.

When life gets especially hard, do you savor the little things or focus on everything that’s gone wrong in your life?

Upon NOT achieving a big goal, do you celebrate how far you’ve come and identify what you’ve learned (so you can use it moving forward). . . or believe you’ve failed and never look back?

When circumstances work against you, do you let go of your dreams or consider the ways in which you can pivot (and still achieve what you want)?

Success requires that you feel good about who you are, the decisions you’re making and how you’re living your life. A success definition that’s redefined in this way allows you to work toward a better future yet still be happy with where you are in the moment.

For more about how to rethink what success means (and live a happier, more successful life) read Want to Be Successful? Stop Working So Hard and Rethink How You Define Success.

#2: Understand Your Internal Biases (and How to Change Them)

When I first started my coach training, one of the first lessons was around the concept that everyone has their own unique perception of reality.

I remember thinking at the time. . . of course that’s true! That’s why you can have 10 people see the same crime yet get 10 wildly different accounts of what happened.

But then I started coaching and quickly learned that I’d been judging people based on MY past experiences and reality. That’s when I realized that I needed to proactively seek to understand people better.

Your Stories Are Biased

Your past experiences affect how you view EVERYTHING. Because of these experiences, you’ve written internal stories that you hold as truths about yourself, your capabilities, the world and even the people within it.

But these stories only represent what you’ve personally experienced, not the world. And so they’re biased. Yet you judge the world based on these internal stories (often without realizing it).

The problem is that these stories get exacerbated by the way we live (through the rise of technology, social media and how we get our news).

We live in a carefully curated bubble of like-minded people and have few relationships with (or understanding about) people who are different politically, socioeconomically, racially and religiously. And we therefore have no ability to understand their reality.

What You Perceive Directly Affects Your Success (Here’s How)

Your outlook on the world matters because it affects your behavior. You’re less likely to act boldly and live your life fully when you perceive parts of the world (and many of the people in it) as threats. And you’re also less likely to see opportunities that are out there.

And although you shouldn’t worry about how others define success (or even perceive your success), how others perceive you as a human being does matter when it comes to getting help from others. And that’s important because you need other people to succeed in life.

Success requires collaboration and deep relationships with others. And it’s important to include people who think and believe differently than you (they’ll help to challenge and expand your thinking).

How To Change Your Perception

Want to start changing your perception? Here’s how:

Remind yourself (often) that we ALL come to the table with our own unique perception of reality.
Start listening to those who are different from you for the purpose of understanding. Not to try to change minds. Or to fix their problems. Just let them be heard (someone must take the first step, and note that this often leads them to reciprocate).

Please note that this doesn’t require you to change your mind. It’s about gaining understanding so that you can create trust, be more open to opportunities and feel more compassionate towards others.

But also ask yourself. . . what’s so bad about changing your mind (if you change it thoughtfully, based on new understanding)?

#3: Re-Frame (To Change Your Reality)

There are a lot of so-called self-help experts who tell you to think positive thoughts so that you can attract what you want and manifest your dream life. There’s just one problem. . . research doesn’t back any of that up.

You have to work hard to succeed. And even then, nothing is guaranteed.

Achieving your big dreams isn’t as easy as most would have you believe. But that doesn’t mean that going after your dreams isn’t worthwhile.

Why Hard Work Brings Fulfillment (And Can Even Be Fun)

Research shows that those who focus on growing and learning through challenges (called a growth mindset) are more hopeful and resilient. And they’re more likely to succeed at their endeavors too.

Which is why your mindset is so important.

[Recommended Reading: Why Mindset Is Everything: The Key to Success & Happiness].

But What If Things Feel Hopeless?

If the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that nothing is guaranteed. There are big, complicated issues to deal with (within the world and here in the United States). And it’s not just because of the pandemic – although that has made this fact more obvious.

The problem is that many people have become too fearful… to the point where they’re paralyzed by it all. As a cancer survivor, I know how that feels. But if cancer taught me anything it’s that life keeps on (no matter what). And you owe it to yourself and others to LIVE.

So, what do you do? Re-frame.

Re-Frame Problems or Threats Into Challenges To Be Solved

Make it a game if you like, where you’re the hero battling against your challenge. I know that sounds silly, but it works because your brain LOVES to win at games (and to prove others wrong).

You’re not where you want to be (nor is the world). But that doesn’t mean you – or society – can’t end up in a better place. Making that happen starts with your mindset. And re-framing is the best way to get started with the right mindset.

To re-frame, focus on what you’re learning or how the experience is helping you to grow.

NOTE: this technique isn’t going to change your circumstances (and it’s not about solely thinking positive). What this does is to rewire your mind not to get stuck in negativity and catastrophizing. It allows you to let go and move forward despite difficult circumstances.

For step-by-step guidance on how to re-frame (plus other strategies to for cultivating a strong, resilient mentality), be sure to download 5-Minute Stress Solutions here:

#4: Learn To Be Vulnerable

Do you sometimes feel there’s got to be more to life. . . yet do nothing? Do you have a big dream or vision for your life that you’re not acting on?

The problem is that the path to success doesn’t always feel good (despite all those Instagram quotes to the contrary).

Working to excel in life is about being yourself and living with purpose. It requires that you go out on a limb, risk ridicule and potentially do or say the “wrong” thing. That’s vulnerable and takes courage.

But it’s worth it because it’s how to make an impact in the world and feel free (while being content with yourself).

How Your Mind Works Against You

Ever notice that your mind has a list of ready-made reasons why you shouldn’t make a big change or go after a big dream? You might initially feel excited about the possibilities, but then your mind starts jabbering on about how:

it’s not the right time
you don’t have the financial resources
nothing will change regardless of what you do
things could get worse
it’s too risky
you’ll probably fail

I could keep going.

Here’s the thing about that voice inside your head: its sole purpose is to focus on the potential negatives so that you’ll put on the breaks. And it’s not telling you the whole truth. Just potential half (or less-than-half) truths without any context.

This voice is keeping you stuck doing nothing (while numbing yourself with food, television, social media, alcohol, busyness, or something else). But you don’t have to stay stuck.

Why Getting Comfortable With Vulnerable Thoughts And Feelings Is A Key To Excelling In Life

If you want to excel in life, then you must get comfortable with the discomfort of vulnerable emotions and thoughts. Because what’s keeping you stuck is not wanting to deal with those feelings.

The good news is that you can train yourself to get comfortable with feeling this way. Whenever you feel vulnerable thoughts and emotions, here’s what to do:

Identify exactly how you feel. Be specific.
Ask what’s behind your feelings. Go deep (and keep asking) until you’ve identified the thoughts behind what you feel.
And then let yourself sit with them (without doing anything about how you feel or what you’ve discovered).

This simple exercise will build inner strength and resilience. You’ll discover that you’re okay despite feeling these things. Plus, you’ll gain deeper self-awareness around what’s going on inside of you so that you can do something about it.

But don’t stop there. Once you start getting comfortable with feeling vulnerable emotions (and the thoughts behind them), it’s time to challenge them. And that leads me to your next life tip for how to excel in life. . .

#5: Challenge The Voice Inside

People often talk about being stuck. But you’re not really stuck. It’s just a feeling created by the voice inside of your head (that’s convinced you to do nothing, feel paralyzed).

I’m not saying that you should completely ignore the voice that’s warning you. But it’s important that you challenge it and consider all the potential positives (something the voice cleverly ignores).

How To Take Control Of Your Voice and Get Unstuck

Give the voice a name. Notice how I treat your inner voice as another person? That’s because it’s not WHO you are, and therefore important to separate yourself from it. To help you do that, give your voice a name (mine is Nellie). Think of her (or him!) as a well-meaning friend who’s there to help, always overextends her stay and loves to repeat herself.

Listen to your voice, but don’t let her be repetitive. Don’t ignore what the voice tells you. Once you’ve heard everything once, tell your voice that she’s done her job and thank her. It’s time for her to leave.

Create a list of pros and cons. Put pen to paper and write down all the bad stuff that your inner voice has listed. And then write down all the potential good that could happen. But don’t stop there. Add to the mix the good/bad if you do NOTHING (something few people do but is necessary to make a truly informed decision).

Write down what you’d do if the bad things on your list actually happened. This will help you see that it’s not predetermined, you can do something about it and that you have more control than you realized.

This exercise will help you make an informed decision without getting stuck in all the reasons why you can’t.

For more about how to challenge your fears and move beyond doubts (so that you don’t stay stuck), read 5 Effective Tools to Stop Living in Fear and Worry.

#6: Live With Purpose (For Meaning and Fulfillment)

What if, when trying to determine what you even want, those three dreaded words keep popping into your head. . . I don’t know?

That’s exactly where I was post-cancer. I wanted more purpose and meaning (and knew everything I didn’t want – which included being a lawyer). Yet I didn’t know specifically what I did want.

And it’s where many of my clients are when they first come to me.

Purpose Isn’t What You Think It Is

Most people think that they have to find their purpose (and feel like it’s this heavy, difficult-to-find thing). But you don’t find your purpose. And you don’t have to give up your life, start over or save the world to create deeper meaning within your life.

Purpose is created from within. It’s about being content in who you are and where you’re going, given your current circumstances.

That’s important because it’s impossible for your brain to contemplate your path forward (or even your next step) without getting to that place.

But once you get there, you’ll be able to create your new path forward.

Create Purpose By Getting Back to The Basics Of Being YOU

It’s easy to get so caught up in the busyness of work and life that you become disconnected from what brings you meaning and is most important to you. Here’s how to course correct:

Be useful. Be intentional about how you use your strengths and skills in service to others (at home, at work, and within your community) so that you can start to see the impact you already make + what more you can do.
Strengthen your relationships and prioritize community. Human beings have a primal need to belong. And that only gets satisfied through strong relationships and connections (both individually and through a larger community you care about).
Reconnect to your values. Aligning your life around your values brings purpose. And your values are the best guides for creating your path forward (they’re your inner compass).

Any one of these things will bring more meaning to your life. All three together are life-changing because they’re your road map for how to excel in life and feel content with yourself (and decisions).

For more about how your values create meaning and happiness (and help you to excel in life), read How to Redefine Yourself Into Happiness.

#7: Let Go of Busy

Most people I talk to tell me about their big dreams and goals. Yet when I ask them what they’re actually doing about them I hear that they’re too busy right now (they’ll get to it later).

Busy Is Just An Excuse

Look, we all have obligations and responsibilities (I’m right there with you, by the way). But if something is truly a priority, then it means that you’re actually prioritizing it.

You have two choices:

Prioritize the things you say are important, or
Let them go (for good) because they’re not as important to you as you’ve led yourself to believe.

The other so-called option is to spend your life wishing things could be different (only to regret it later). And that’s not worth your time or effort.

That doesn’t mean that you should drop everything and focus ONLY on your big dreams (so don’t make the mistake of doing that or using that as an excuse NOT to do anything).

Start Small and Keep Things Simple

Learn from my amazing client Sabrina, who needed to fit business development into her already crazy-busy schedule. Instead of making the excuse of being busy, she set aside 15 minutes per day for business development (and scheduled it into her calendar).

I know that 15 minutes doesn’t sound like much, but it got her started in the right direction. She developed a taste for it (really, a habit) and built momentum.

She even got plenty done (it’s amazing what being laser-focused on something will do for you, even in a small amount of time). And after doing that for about a month, she added to it and has kept it going.

The Secret For How to Excel In Life

This is a confidence-building activity that’s going to help you get started more quickly and keep going (one step at a time). Success isn’t rocket science. It’s about taking small, imperfect action that builds momentum and helps you stay the course.

So, set aside 15 minutes per day to start working on YOUR big priority.

To help you maintain focus no matter what’s going on in your life, be sure to download your free Guide of 8 stress management + mindset strategies here:

#8: Focus On Your Relationships

Part of succeeding includes having healthy relationships with those you care about. And although part of the point for wanting to excel in life is to be your best and serve others to the best of your ability (which should have a positive ripple effect on your relationships), there’s a drawback to be aware of.

The Self-Development Trap

Although bettering yourself has a positive ripple effect on others, there’s a catch. It’s easy to become selfish (without realizing it).

After my cancer journey, I felt like something needed to change (but had no idea what to do about it). After struggling for a couple of years, I finally hired a coach.

For the next 6 months, I happily worked with her believing that I was becoming a better version of myself. Until the day my husband asked if I wanted to be married to him any longer.

That’s when I realized that I had become so inward focused that I was neglecting the people I loved the most (and had been for months).

Since then, I’ve been informed (by several coaches) that this is common. But that doesn’t mean that you’re destined to fall into this trap.

How To Guard Against the Selfish Trap

As you make big decisions for yourself (including when choosing not to do something), ask how it will affect those around you. Be specific about your close relationships (the people you love the most). And be honest with your answers.

Most people think they consider other people yet don’t (it’s normal to assume that what you’re doing to benefit yourself will also benefit others). They key is to balance your selfish individual needs with the needs of those you love (and your own need for strong relationships with those people).

This will interject some relationship-saving honesty into your personal development journey without slowing you down. [After all, part of personal development includes strengthening your relationships.]

#9: Be Open to Whatever Comes

Life isn’t fair. Some people have it easier than others. Many don’t play by the same rules. And sometimes people will try to hold you back.

And sometimes, other people deserve it just as much as you (or more!).

You know this, already. But have you truly accepted it or do you use it as an excuse to quit (or never try in the first place)?

Acceptance isn’t the same as giving up, but about not making excuses so that you’re more capable of taking on life’s challenges. This means that you can’t be chained to your desired outcome.

Do you want it? Of course. But you also go forward knowing that it may not happen and that you’ll be okay regardless (sometimes even better for it).

It’s also important to remember that success isn’t linear. You’re going to take a couple steps back after moving forward, veer to the right, dip down, climb steep hills (even mountains) and go around in circles. It’s part of the growth process.

#10: Have a Strong Support System

You don’t succeed in life by doing everything yourself. You need people who:

Give you spiritual, emotional and mental support and guidance.
Push you to be your best, mentor you through tough situations and keep you accountable.

And you need coverage in ALL areas of your life (personally, professionally and spiritually).

Identify who’s within your support system and any gaps. And then fill the gaps. Then use your support system like your life depends on it (because it does).

And before you go, be sure to grab your copy of 5-Minute Stress Solutions. This guide isn’t just about managing stress, but will help you cultivate a healthy mindset that’s calm under pressure and able to reframe even the worst of situations. Get your free Guide here:

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The use of Microsoft Excel in daily life at home and office is to perform the calculation, analysis, and visualization of data and information.

Microsoft Excel is one of the most important workplace applications that help to organize the business system and processes of data and information by the use of columns and rows with formulas.

Microsoft Excel Application is developed and marketed by Microsoft Inc. for Windows, Mac OS, Cloud computing, and Android users.
In the excel spreadsheet users can do all kinds of mathematical, financial, and logical calculations, data manipulation, data analysis, and visualization of information in quick ways.

Excel is used by students, teachers, job seekers, managers, entrepreneurs, companies, retailers, distributors, freelancers, bloggers, and housewives in their daily life.

Microsoft Excel’s first version was released 31 years ago on September 30, 1985. Today, the latest version you can download is version 16.0 or Excel 2016.

Commonly people download & buy complete MS Office. Because Microsoft Office Suite includes all official applications such as Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Excel, Publisher, and Outlook in one complete package.

The Excel spreadsheet is a group of 10,48,576 rows and 16384 columns. Excel is in a table format in which one index is called a CELL. In Excel, there are three worksheets by default. A group of worksheets is called the workbook. Workbooks and electronic spreadsheets are now synonyms of Microsoft Excel.

For a higher level of data calculation and manipulation, the use of the function library in Excel is important to utilize. The function library in Excel contains Financial, Logical, and text filtration formulas that are most important to practice for every excel learner.

Excel also provides table styles and conditional formatting options for users. That is very beneficial to the visualization of data in colors, based on a condition in the cells.

Explore: How to learn Microsoft Excel in the best way possible

Microsoft Excel software provides very wide features and functionalities for everyday official work. Let’s understand the various uses of Microsoft Excel features in daily life, based on different types of users around the world.

Top 8 Exceptional uses of Microsoft Excel

1. Uses of Microsoft Excel in Education: –

Teachers can use table styles, shapes, charts, data tools, and formulas to teach students in the classrooms. Students can learn and solve basic and logical-mathematical problems and statistics in excel.

Teachers can educate by creating a table in an Excel sheet. They can highlight more interesting cells in colors, emphasize important values and visualize data using bars and charts.

Below is the basic example 1.0 of data visualization in Microsoft Excel 2010 (Note: data used in this example is not correct it’s just for an educational example.)

The above data visualization example is easy to understand and is created by the use of two excel functions conditional formatting and chart. You can see in the first picture that the literacy rate of countries is highlighted in red color by the use of conditional formatting.

Conditional formatting is used to decorate, and design, and visually appealing data by using data bars, color scales, and icons based on figures. Such as you can see that 99% of the literacy rate cell is filled more than others and 45% of cells are filled with less color than others.

In the charts, you can see China’s data bar is bigger than the others. Charts are used to compare values visually written inside the cell. You can access this option in the Insert menu.

Another use of Excel for teachers is to schedule periods.

You can insert the above period planner by using the template function in Excel.

As a similar example if you Google then you as a teacher or student can understand the various aspects of Microsoft Excel in Education.

If you don’t want Google then visit the Template menu and select the Education category and you will find out some outstanding pre-defined templates with formulas for various educational purposes. You can see a template picture in point 2 in which I am sharing a little more about templates.

The above example can be used in a Business similar, only need to change the values. The options of Microsoft Excel are the same for all users but it depends on us, how we use a particular option.

Must Read: Importance of Microsoft Excel for Students

2. Uses of Microsoft Excel in Business: –

I don’t think the business owner, either a small or big company can be productive and managed without the use of Microsoft Excel.
Microsoft Excel application can be used in various business operations. Such as goal setting, budgeting process, and planning, team management, account management, income, and expenses calculation, product and service valuation, and management of client data, etc. in business.

The uses of Microsoft Excel in business make such daily official operations faster, more accurate, and more predictable. Because Excel provides great features such as filters, charts, conditional formatting and pivot table, and logical and financial formulas.

Let’s see below the basic account management example 2.0 in Microsoft Excel (Note: This is just for example)

In the above example 2.0 you can see the basic income and expenses report month-wise with a quote of the month at the end. In quote column I used this formula: =IF(F6>=400000,”Outstanding”,IF(F6>=300000,”Above Average”, IF(F6>=200000,”Average”,”Below Average”)))

This is just but you can understand that only with the IF formula you can create thousands of types of logic in your business calculation. The above exercise is just created manually not a big deal. But if you want to access the real power of Microsoft Excel in Business operations then visit the template menu.

As you can see in the template picture that there are various high-quality templates that business users can use in their business calculations. Such as VAT Invoices, Marketing Campaign trackers, and break-even analyses are very beneficial.

The benefit of using the template in Excel is that you don’t need to create everything from scratch, you only need to select or search and then download it. After then you can edit the downloaded template according to your choice. This is that simple!

Must Read: Importance of Microsoft Excel in Business

3. Uses of Microsoft Excel in Goal Setting and Planning: –

Goal setting and planning is a tasks that we do repeatedly each day. Goal setting and planning are very important for everyone from students to business owners. But goal setting and planning take a white paper, time, and lots of calculation but if you use Excel then it becomes very easy and environmentally friendly.

Example 3.0

In this example, you can see that it’s very easy to design the complete financial plan and goals by using formulas, raw, and columns.

Example 3.1

You can see in example 3.1 that it’s easy to track goals and plan each day on excels.

4. Uses of Microsoft Excel for Business Owners: –

Online business owners or offline can use Excel to manage their daily life work. Such as work progress, team management, payout details, and business progress. Such as if you want to track your marketing campaign progress then go to the file-new- template and search for a marketing campaign and you will be amazed by seeing pre-designed and formulated cells.

Must Read: – How to make the best use of the internet as a small business owner

5. Uses of Microsoft Excel for Housewives: –

Housewives can use Excel to manage their daily house expenses. They can create monthly expense reports. They can track their spending habits. Also if housewives learn Excel then it’s also beneficial for them to teach kids basic excel skills too.

It is because many computer teachers are unable (due to various reasons) to teach all excel skills practically to students in schools.

The use of Excel for housewives is also helpful if they are doing business or jobs or looking for part-time work. There are various online and offline jobs and projects that they can do from home by learning and using excel.

Related: –16 ways to utilize your time to become a smart housewife

6. Uses of Microsoft Excel for Data Analysis: –

Data analysis is very important to work today for an online business or website owner (eCommerce, blog, forums, etc.). Such as tracking website visitors, product sales, customer reviews, marketing campaigns, user behavior, and events Such work is very time and brain-consuming especially when things are not going according to plan.

Microsoft Excel application provides great benefits for online business owners and customers. As filtering users’ data by country, filtering users by age, adding conditional formulas in big data, etc. are common daily tasks that can be handled smartly in excel.

7. Uses of Excel in the Daily Progress Report: –

Many online and offline companies and clients make it mandatory for virtual and offline staff to maintain their daily progress reports. It is not only beneficial for employees but also for companies to track daily progress reports.

You can create a table with Date, Time, Client, Task, Duration, and status according to demand from clients or managers.

Also, the daily progress report is very beneficial for students and teachers. But all start with learning and execution. As you know the computer is a magical device that we’re using in daily life. Routinely there are various uses of computers in our life but all depend on how much you’re interested in learning.

Related: – How to teach basic computer skills

8. Uses of Excel in Career Development: –

When you learn to excel, you learn the management of daily life. In daily life, there are various things that need to be calculated. Why? Because we’re doing multiple works in daily routine. Shopping, learning, entertainment, and expenses are all small things that need to manage.

If you’re a student then it is very important for you to learn Microsoft Excel. Microsoft Excel knowledge will help you to get a job. Because as I discussed above there are almost all small and medium businesses use Excel in their daily official works.

If you’re writing about computer skills in the resume then make sure that you know about Excel and Microsoft Office and Internet research and highlight such skills.

Career Development is more about career management. Time management, learning management, work, and life management, and goal-oriented habits are very important. Such things you can learn in excel. When you create your college expenses report then at the end of the month you can analyze where you’re spending more money.

Also if you’re doing learning or doing online courses then you can use Excel to track knowledge. Such as if you learned today about Conditional formatting then create a table with Date, Topic, and Satisfaction levels. This is very beneficial because then you can understand your daily learning outcomes and the effects of knowledge on you.

For example, if you’re learning digital marketing but you’re not tracking and creating notes in one line conclusion then it’s tough to implement that knowledge later. I mean for example today you learned about PPC and CTR and then it’s really important that you can write in your diary or in Excel about it in the conclusion or in summary.

Such kind of learning management is very important. Because it happens to me often when we learn something on the internet or on blogs because of different conclusions and we often forget about the main points.

For example, if I telling you to learn English typing then it’s just a piece of advice or suggestion but if I am telling you that learning English Typing by using basic typing lessons such as ASDF; LKJ etc. then it’s really important for you to note it down and practice.

Related:- Top 11 Most important Computer Skills to learn for career development

How to use and learn Microsoft Excel for personal benefits

The 1st method is that define what you want, before googling. For example, you want to create monthly expenses report in excel then type this same line in Google and you will get tutorials. Follow the steps and you will do it.

2^nd method is you can take an online course and that will be more beneficial. Because then you can learn everything stepwise.

3^rd method is to take admission in a computer institute and join offline classes of basic computer or Excel basics.

Conclusions: – The more you learn about excel the more you develop the ways to use excel in your daily life. I am still learning, why you don’t learn. It’s better to spend time learning than doing likes on unnecessary things. Understand your duty as a student because learning is more important for you than entertainment in life.

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