You’ve probably heard the phrase “breaking up is hard to do.” That’s because it is. Ending a relationship and being honest with someone about your feelings is rarely easy, but it’s a necessary part of life that every person goes through at some point. One thing that can make it easier when it’s time to break up is thinking carefully about the exact words you plan to use.
Breakups are often sad, but that doesn’t mean they have to be unkind, hurtful, or tense. They also don’t need to be so cordial and kind that your soon-to-be ex is left wondering, “Are you breaking up with me?”
There are a lot of words and phrases you can use that let someone know they’re valued and respected by you, but the romance part of your relationship has definitely fizzled out. If you’re looking for the right way to say “it’s over” without any drama or confusion, here are eight of the best breakup words to use and five you should skip.
The best breakup words to use
1. different
Often, breakups occur because of differences. Maybe you have different ideas about your long-term future or different priorities in your current life. Different means “not alike in quality or character, distinct in nature, dissimilar.” It’s a present participle of the Latin differre, meaning “to scatter, disperse.” Differences don’t always have to cause you to disperse, but if they’re too great to overcome, you might say:
- We’re going in different directions.
- We want different things out of life, and it’s important for us both to find partners who support that.
- We have different priorities, and I don’t think we’re a good long-term match.
Before there was ghosting, there was the Dear John letter. Learn more about “Dear John” and old dating slang with this roundup of classic gems.
2. value
No two people are exactly alike, but shared values are important in a successful relationship. In a personal relationship, value refers to ethics and your ideals and customs. Maybe you and your partner have drastically different political views or differ greatly on your ideas about home and family. Differing values aren’t always insurmountable, but it’s important to be honest when they cause issues that can’t be fixed. Here’s what to say:
- Our values don’t align, and the difference is too big to overcome.
- I think our different values will lead to unhappiness, and neither of us deserves that.
- I respect your values, but I also know that I need something different from a partner.
3. future
Sometimes a relationship is good in the short term, but isn’t the right situation to carry forth into the future. That future may be a month from now or what you imagine will happen in several years. Future simply means “something that will happen in time to come,” and it’s an important consideration when choosing a partner. You might say:
- We want different things for our future.
- I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, but I don’t see a future for us as a couple.
- I don’t think this relationship aligns with our future goals.
4. long-term
Not every relationship or romantic connection is meant to go the distance. If you’re casually dating, you might run into situations where you have to tell someone you don’t feel the connection will last long term. In those instances, polite honesty is the best course of action.
- It’s been wonderful getting to know you, but I’m not interested in a long-term relationship.
- You’re a lovely person, but I don’t think we have the spark to stay together long term.
- Our long-term goals aren’t the same, and I think we should go our separate ways.
5. intimacy
Intimacy is sometimes used as a sort of code word for a physical relationship, but that’s not all it means. Intimacy is “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” And when it’s lacking or developing way too fast, that can be a red flag for a relationship. If intimacy is a driving force for you in wanting to end a relationship, you might say something like:
- I’m just not ready for this level of intimacy.
- I feel our relationship is lacking the kind of intimacy it needs to continue.
- I need a certain level of intimacy from a partner, and I don’t feel that in this relationship.
6. respect
It may not seem like it, but breakups have a lot to do with respect. Respect means “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person.” Even though ending a relationship can feel sad and disappointing, it’s ultimately an act of respecting your own needs and the needs of the other person enough to know that you both deserve to be in a better situation.
- I respect you enough to be honest with you, so I need to let you know this relationship isn’t working for me.
- I respect the time we’ve both put into making this relationship work, but I think it’s time for us to move on.
7. happy
Breakups aren’t typically a happy occasion, but they are rooted in each person’s desire to ultimately find happiness. Often, when a relationship ends, it’s because one or both people understand that their current partnership isn’t contributing to their overall happiness or well-being. When you care about someone, their happiness matters as much as your own, so you might say:
- We both deserve a chance to find happiness.
- We aren’t happy right now, and I care enough about you to want both of us to find what makes us happy.
- The compromises we’re making aren’t keeping either of us happy, and I think it’s time for us to move on.
“Love” is only one word for the different emotions it can represent. Discover many of the words the Ancient Greeks had for love in its different forms.
8. difficult
Difficult means ”not easily or readily done; requiring much labor, skill, or planning to be performed successfully; hard.” Relationships may go through hard times, but it’s not uncommon for them to end if being with someone day-to-day feels consistently difficult. Try a phrase like one of these:
- At this point in our relationship, it shouldn’t be this difficult to find a compromise.
- It’s too difficult for us to get on the same page, and I don’t think we’re a good long-term match.
- We have more difficulties than successes, and I think that’s a sign this isn’t working.
Breakup words to avoid
1. settle
No matter how it’s used, the word settle has the potential to be hurtful in a breakup speech. The common breakup phrase “I’m just not ready to settle down” can end up sounding like an insincere cliché.
Settle can also imply resigned satisfaction, rather than true happiness, as in, “I’m just settling for you” or “I feel like I’d just be settling in this relationship.” No one wants to feel like they are the inferior choice as a relationship partner. Even if you feel like your soon-to-be ex is not your ideal match, it’s important to be kind.
2. better
Comparison words, like better, are a surefire way to introduce conflict in a breakup. Better means “of superior suitability, advisability, desirability, acceptableness, etc.; preferable.” Whether you’re saying you deserve better or you want to find someone better, this word has the potential to be unnecessarily hurtful. And, really, the last thing any breakup needs is more heartache.
3. should
If you’re splitting up, don’t dwell on things you wish your partner had done differently. Should means “must; ought to” and is generally used to talk about things we want to change. You may have plenty you wish to change about your ex-flame, but they don’t need a laundry list of things they should have done better or differently to make you happy. That’s likely to turn a dignified breakup into one full of drama and arguing. Instead, focus on the good times you had together and try to move on with grace and respect for one another.
4. always/never
A lot of relationship counselors will tell you to avoid always or never statements, such as, “You always do this” or “You never do that.” That’s because these sorts of statements are often exaggerations and can cause people to immediately go on the defensive.
Always means “every time; on every occasion; without exception.” Never means “not ever, not at any time.” We all make mistakes in relationships, but chances are neither of you literally always or never did certain things. For a more peaceful end to your union, shift away from words like these that imply judgment and blame.
5. friends
It might be tempting to say something like, “I think we’re better off as friends” or “I hope we stay friends.”
Those statements are fine if you really mean them, but if you don’t intend to continue a friendship with your ex, it’s better to leave the word friend unsaid. Remember, a friend is “a person attached by feeling or personal regard.” If your goal is to sever all ties, don’t try to soften the blow by promising a friendship you don’t intend to deliver on.
Your relationship is not working out. You have hit a dead-end, and now your relationship is a cesspool of broken promises, jealousy, and boredom. You know that you have to end the relationship, but how do you approach this issue sensitively? If you handle things callously, you may end up with a bruised eye. If you are oversensitive, you may end hanging on to a dead relationship, feeling bitter and exhausted.
Breaking up with someone is never easy. Especially, if you have been with that person for a long time. However, if things come to a head, and you feel it is time to move on, it is best to have a clean break up without carrying the burden of heartbreak or unspoken feelings.
Saying unkind words, calling each other names, or simply shutting all communication with your partner are extremely bad ways to break up. If you expect to be in a healthy relationship, you should at least have the maturity to break up without being abusive or selfish.
6 Bad Breakup Lines to Avoid
If you don’t want your current girlfriend or boyfriend to become a stalking ex, or your spouse to file for divorce on grounds of mental harassment, you must ensure that the breakup does not become an ugly brawl. Also, how you express to your partner that you are breaking up with her will go a long way in restoring her faith in relationships and men. Here are six common breakup lines that can land you in trouble.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
This is a classic excuse when you want to avoid confrontation. Though it may seem non-accusatory, this breakup line is not fair because you don’t give the person a chance to find out what really went wrong. Worse, it’s usually not true: there are usually reasons for breaking up that relate to incompatibility on both sides.
So what do you do, if it is really not her, but you that is the problem in the relationship? What if you mean it, sincerely? If it’s really not her, but you that is the problem, explain why that’s the case. Perhaps you are truly unable to commit to a long-term relationship because you are financially insecure, or emotionally overwhelmed, or still in love with your ex. If there really is something going on with you that makes a relationship impossible at this time, don’t leave without offering a genuine explanation for the breakup.
2. “I want to take it slow.”
To most people, «I want to take it slow» means «I like you and want to pursue this relationship but at a different speed.» While it’s possible that your partner will respond by walking away from the relationship altogether, a decent human being will see an opening to a conversation about how you’d like to proceed. Do you want to get together less frequently? Slow down your physical relationship?
Bottom line, asking to «take it slow» is a great way to slow down the pace of your romance (assuming that you’re in the early stages of getting to know one another). It’s a poor way to actually end a relationship, and it’s almost certainly the wrong thing to say if you’ve been in a committed relationship for years!
3. “I am not ready for a relationship.”
If you were not ready to be involved, what were you doing all along? Why put on a charade, and then pull the plug just when your partner was getting serious? A breakup line such as this one shows that you have no respect for your partner’s feelings. It is okay to not want to take the relationship to the next level if you are not ready. However, it is not fair that you choose to break off the relationship because you suddenly realized that what you thought was a fairy tale romance was actually a real-world relationship with a flawed human being.
4. “Let’s just be friends.”
This is the most dangerous breakup line, ever. It sounds like you are giving a compensatory reward to your partner by promising to be “friends.” Really? Do you expect her to buy that? Did you know that by promising to be friends, you are asking for trouble? Breakups are hard, and at this vulnerable moment, you might end up together on a rebound. Because, hey, you said you wanted to be “friends,” right? If you truly continue to spend time together as «friends,» you may never be able to move on and never able to fully commit to your partner.
5. “I will always love you, but never like that.”
Did you suddenly decide to become a saint? If you ever decide to use this breakup line, don’t be surprised if you end up with a bloody nose or an egg on your face. Why would you say that you love her when you don’t? Many people use this breakup line in the heat of the moment, hoping to diffuse the tension. However, this breakup line will always haunt you, even after you have long moved on. Don’t throw crumbs at your partner. It is not fair for you to break her heart, after leading her on to believe that you loved her.
6. «You’re great, but it is really your sister I fancy.»
Even if this is the truth, please don’t blurt it out. Some truths are best buried. You date a girl, only to later fall in love with her sister. How do you think she’s going to take the news? Would she hug you and say, «Oh wow! I’m so happy to have you as my boyfriend and brother-in-law!»? Or would she kick you out of her house and her life, the moment you utter those words? And what good would it do you to inform her that your heart flutters at the sight of her sister? No self-respecting girl would ever take this breakup line well.
9 Good Breakup Lines to Try
Here are 9 famous quotes to use for breakup lines. They help to communicate the pain of breakup without seeming over the top. Use them to create your own personal breakup line. Borrow the ideas without making it clichéd. Let your breakup line be as memorable as your pickup line was.
Maggi Richard
Two words. Three vowels. Four consonants. Seven letters. It can either cut you open to the core and leave you in ungodly pain or it can free your soul and lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders. The phrase is: It’s over.
Marilyn Monroe
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Sarah Mlynowski
Just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth having.
Alex Elle
I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.
Amit Kalantri
I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.
Judith McNaught, Paradise
Either give me your hand, or end it now, and put us both out of our misery.
Lone Star
I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me—I’m going to smile.
Fannie Flagg, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.
S. B. Morse, Now and at the Hour of Our Death
A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along.
What is broken in a breakup? The relationship? Each individual person?
The word “breakup” is a metaphor based on a physical phenomenon. This is true of many words we use to express complex emotions, like feeling “low,” “torn,” or “adrift.” In the physical sense, breaking something up means chopping, cracking, or dividing it into many small pieces. The phrase was first used to describe plowland. Break up the soil, break up into small groups, break up the party because the cops are here.
There is something apt in the description of a “breakup” resulting in many tiny bits. Further metaphors extend this image. One feels “shattered,” one’s heart is “in a million pieces,” one strives to “put things back together.” In this picture, emotions are a 10,000-piece puzzle, held together by the relationship, which the breakup, like a mischievous nephew, has dismantled and mixed up. The end of a relationship has been shown to alter a person’s very sense of self, which they must reconstruct using some, but certainly not all, of the pieces available the last time around.
Yet in the context of the modern monogamous relationship, a breakup means something different. One thing becomes exactly two, not many, and each is left on its own. In this sense, a more accurate metaphor might be a “rift.” The surface of the earth, once seamlessly connected, is now separated by a chasm, passable by bridge but, without lots of time, force, and luck, never to be unified again.
At the beginning of any relationship there is already a rift. Separated by unfamiliarity and uncertainty, the two sides inch closer with shared experiences, trustworthy behavior, good sex, mutual respect, laughter, affection, and emotional support. The nearer those two sides become—including those life-affirming moments when they have fused completely, creating a swathe of land greater than the sum of the parts—the more painful it is to separate them once again. But that pain is even greater if the geological/emotional event that caused the rift has also led one or another side to crumble and break apart internally, or indeed if it was like that to begin with.
This is what makes the word “breakup” so good. Because neither the “rift” nor the “into many pieces” metaphors are satisfactory on their own; instead they work together to provide images of both the brokenness of the self and of the relationship. “Breakup” not only captures the feeling of drifting away from what was once so near, of looking at the other person standing across the gulf, getting smaller in the distance. So small that you are no longer sure whether they are facing you or looking away. It also captures the feeling that you are picking yourself up off the ground, like a window that has had a brick thrown at it.
The relationship is breaking up, and so are you. There is some comfort, at least, in knowing that there is a good way to talk about it.
It’s Breakup Week at Quartz! Here are more stories on breakups, breaking up, and heartbreak:
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Breaking up with someone is always hard and one person will always be hurt. But sometimes it’s necessary and unavoidable, no matter how much you deny it.
There are many ways to break up with your partner. No matter which one you choose, always pay attention to other people’s feelings and do it kindly and gently.
We bring you a collection of break up texts that can help you if you want to end your relationship via text message.
Many people would say that it is cowardly to end your relationship that way. But sometimes it is impossible to do it face-to-face and break up texts seem like the only reasonable alternative.
Best breakup texts
1. Love means never having to say we’re sorry. I’m certainly not sorry that we met and fell for each other. It was a wonderful time, but all good things come to an end, and this is it for me.
2. You have been a great boyfriend, but I need to end things. It’s better for us both if we break up.
3. I think you know that things have been hard. Let’s break up so we can remain friends.
4. Life will go on even when we are no longer together. I’m sorry this has to end. Good luck.
5. You are a wonderful human being. You deserve someone who can give you the time and attention that I can’t because of my commitments. She’s out there; go find her. I won’t stop you anymore.
6. I’ve realized that I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want to lie to you, because you deserve to be treated with respect. I know you will find someone who will treat you better. But I just can’t do it. I’m sorry. Goodbye.
7. I wanted to love, and I honestly was trying my best to love you like you love me. But I just can’t lie to myself anymore. We can’t be together, it just doesn’t seem right. You are a wonderful person, and I know you will eventually find someone who will be just right for you.
8. You know how much I’ve loved you over the past years, but the way things have become, it is impossible for me to stay with you. I’m sorry and I hope that you can one day forgive me. Goodbye.
9. I like spending time with you. But it’s not enough. You deserve to be with someone who loves and appreciates you. I just can’t give that to you. It’s time for us to say goodbye to each other and move on.
10. They say that, in a breakup, it is never only one person’s fault. And especially in our case, we are both to blame. Even though we tried our best, we just couldn’t make it work. This is why I think it is better for us to end here on a peaceful note, while we still can. I’m sorry, but this is goodbye.
11. I’ve realized that there’s more to me than loving you. I got so used to being your other half, and I completely forgot that I needed to be myself in the first place. I’m sorry, but we can’t see each other anymore.
12. I don’t know if this is for the best, but I feel this relationship asphyxiating. This is why I want to end this. It’s not you, it’s me, but I feel like I cannot deal with all this stress anymore. I’m sorry, but goodbye.
13. We’ve had a great time. But I just don’t feel like we belong together. Love doesn’t live in this relationship anymore. It’s hard to admit that, but we need to say goodbye to each other to live happily ever after.
14. We can’t save something that has already died. The only thing we can do is to let it go. Our love has died and it’s time to admit it and take another step. I want to be happy and I wish you happiness too, but it will never happen as long as we are together. That’s why we should break up. I’m really sorry.
15. This is as hard for me as it is for you, but the time has come to say goodbye. It was fun while it lasted, and I will always look back on our relationship with a smile, but the time has come for both of us to move on. Please forgive me, goodbye.
16. I have made up my mind. I want this to end. When you ever feel alone in the future, just think why were you unable to maintain this relationship. And if you do, I’d be happy to try this again. But for now, goodbye.
17. I still love you. And that makes it even harder. Although I still have so much love for you, I just don’t feel happy with you anymore. Let’s not look for someone to blame. This is life. Wishing you all of the best.
18. I’ve tried countless times to set things straight, but every time I try to compromise and take one step back, you take three steps forward. Thus, I’m sorry, but this is the end. Goodbye.
19. They say if you love someone, set this person free. I love you, darling, and I want you to be truly happy with someone who’s better than me. I know that I made you suffer a lot and I want it to stop. Please, be happy without me.
20. When you kiss me, I feel like I don’t want to kiss you back. When you hug me, I can’t wrap my arms around you with the same tenderness that you have for me. When you say you love me, it’s so hard for me to say I love you too. I’m sorry, but I’m not the one you need.
21. Tbh it was fun hanging out together, but I don’t think we are meant to be a couple.
22. I haven’t been in touch because I think that continuing this relationship isn’t going to do either of us any good as, in my eyes, it has no future. I think it’s time to call it a day.
23. I’m sorry I couldn’t break up with you face-to-face. I just think that if I did, I would get all emotional and wouldn’t be able to say this to you. I don’t consider our relationship a failure, but it was definitely not a success. This is why it’s better for us to end this now, while we still have the chance to do it peacefully. Goodbye.
24. We never know what will happen tomorrow. There are so many paths we can choose and sometimes we can’t predict where they will lead us. Unfortunately, our path has led us to a dead end. And it means that we have to separate and walk different roads.
25. We shouldn’t regret things that come to an end. Because every relationship in our life brings something new. Every person we meet changes us and makes us rethink many things. Every breakup teaches us to overcome the most tragic moments. Thank you for the experience you gave me. You made me a better and stronger person.
26. Our first date, the first time we kissed, every single message that you sent to me, I‘m keeping in my heart. And every single word that you’ve said to me, touches my soul. Although we cannot be together, you will always be a special person to me.
27. I’m sending you this breakup message to tell you I’m breaking up with you. I thought this might be easier than doing it face-to-face as an emotional scene is the last thing either of us needs.
28. You’ve been moving way too fast with this relationship since it started. I don’t think we’re on the same page at all. I don’t like doing this text breakup, but I think it’s time we face the truth.
29. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, and I feel like while we can be good friends, a relationship isn’t on the cards for us. I just want to be honest now, so you don’t feel led on.
Sad break up texts that will make him cry
1. I’m so tired of our fights. I have a heart, and you broke it into million little pieces. I’m not going to pretend like nothing is wrong. It’s goodbye.
2. When we first met, I felt a fire burning inside of me that made me want you with every inch of my body. Yet your actions have made this fire burn less and less, and has now reached a point where it has completely vanished. So, I think this is time to say goodbye. It’s not that I don’t love you, but until you learn how to treat a person properly, I’m afraid I can’t be with you. Goodbye.
3. You said you would never lie to me, or do anything to hurt me, but you have proved yourself wrong in both of these statements. No matter how much I want this to work, I cannot continue being with someone that does not care about me, or even worse, that has lied about doing so. Goodbye.
4. You promised to never make me cry for as long as we’re together, but all I have done for the longest time while being with you is cry. Therefore, this is the last time I allow myself to cry over you, and I draw a line here by saying goodbye. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m truly not, because I know that you aren’t.
5. What hurts me the most is not how bad you made me feel now, but how your attitude contradicts so much with all the things you’ve promised to me. This is why, I’m sorry, but I have to go. Goodbye.
6. I have loved you with all my heart, but apparently, my heart is not big enough to tolerate this toxic relationship. So, goodbye.
7. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But sometimes you have to let someone you love go. I know it’s best for us. I know we’ve had enough. Maybe someday our roads will cross, but now we need to say goodbye to each other.
8. I’m losing my best friend. My lover, my protector. I can’t bear to look at you slowly disappearing in your lovelessness. I wish you the best of all this world can give and hope that you will find someone who can make you happy. I’m sorry it’s not me.
9. I’ve tried so hard to make you see that I’m running out of love for you. You just stopped noticing me. And I can’t spend my life with someone who doesn’t want to see me and listen to me. This is goodbye.
10. While it is sad to see you go, it’s even worse for you to be here and not care about me at all. So I’m afraid that this is goodbye.
11. All the tears I am shedding right now are an indicator that I should be more careful with my relationships in the future. You have hurt me more than I could ever imagine being hurt. So this is goodbye. I’m sorry.
12. I’m not sure what love is, but I know what it shouldn’t be. You can call it whatever you want, but what we have is not love at all. I believe we have to break up and give each of us a chance to find true happiness.
13. I always knew that love was not easy, but what we had was real torture. I’m tired of crying and being unhappy, I’m tired of your lies. It shouldn’t be this way. It took me some time to decide and ultimately I realized what can fix everything – your absence in my life. It’s over.
14. You know, there’s a fine line… I have tolerated it for far too long and now it’s time to get my dignity back. I don’t deserve to be treated like this, I’m better than that. And I need someone who’s better than you. It’s over.
See also: 68 Quotes About Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
Break up text for a long term relationship
1. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for you, but the feelings I once had have changed. Therefore, I don’t think I’m able to continue being with you. I want you to know that I still care about you, and I will always be here for you when you need me, just not as a girlfriend. Goodbye.
2. I will never deny that what we had was once beautiful, but all things change, and your change was for the worse. This is why I feel I can’t continue this any longer. Goodbye.
3. I can’t say that I will not hold dear all the times we have spent together, but I am afraid that all good things must come to an end. And this one wouldn’t if it hadn’t stopped being good. Since you have decided to change your attitude towards me, I have decided to change mine as well, so this is goodbye.
4. No matter how much I’ve loved you throughout the years, I cannot pretend anymore that this relationship is not toxic. So, I think it’s for the best that we end this now. Goodbye.
5. I always appreciated the process and didn’t pay enough attention to the outcome. However painful it is for me to say that our relationship is over, I believe the time we had together wasn’t wasted, because I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you for everything and goodbye.
6. Unfortunately, there are very few things that last forever and our relationship is not one of them. I’m glad we met, because this relationship was a great challenge for both of us and it taught me many things. But now it has come to an end. Thank you for everything and goodbye.
7. It’s better to be alone than with a man who has no respect and love for me. I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret all these years spent with you because it made me realize how much dignity, courage, and strength I had. Now I’m not afraid to kick you out of my life. For so many valid reasons, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.
8. Looking at you today and trying to find the man I fell in love with, I realized that he’s no longer there. You’ve changed so much. And I’m not sure that I have any feelings for this rude and arrogant person you’ve become. We need to break up. I don’t want you to poison my life any longer.
9. Sometimes we need someone in order to be happy and sometimes we need to break up with someone to become happy. I was really lucky to have you as my boyfriend, but now I feel like this relationship makes me unhappy. Our love has exhausted itself and we need to move on, separately.
10. Sometimes there’s no clear reason for people to break up. But still it happens, because some people are not just right for each other. We had a good time together, but I feel like you are not the one I want to grow old with. Sorry for this and good luck.
11. We’ve been together for too long and it’s so hard for me to say this, but I have to. Our relationship doesn’t seem to be developing. We’re stuck in one place. I feel like I need to unburden myself and move on without you. I believe you’ll be fine. Good luck.
To wrap up
If you are sick of how your partner treats you or his ghosting on social media, then breaking up is the only option for you.
You may be afraid of another person’s reaction or think that you may get too emotional if you do it in person. That’s why sometimes breaking up via text message seems like a better option.
We hope you’ll find an appropriate message in our collection of break up texts that’ll help you end your relationship in as painless a way as possible.
It was great when it started. Hardly a day went by without calling your partner to find out how they were doing. You exchanged flowers every so often, marked each other’s anniversaries, and went on countless late-night dates. You thought you had met your soul mate and swore to stick together for eternity.
But as it turns out, you were wrong.
The relationship has reached a point where it causes you more tears than joy. Even after pulling all the stops to save the situation and relive the better days, things could only get worse. You know it’s about time to call it quits and go your different ways. It will be painful at first. But if it’s the best decision under the present circumstances, you’ll eventually get over it.
So, you take your phone to write them a breakup text message but then your mind goes blank.
If this is your first breakup, you may never know how to end it. That’s especially if you honestly believe your partner is entirely to blame for not pulling their weight to save the relationship. But it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, a breakup text message should still be decent enough.
Read on for an insightful guide on how to write breakup texts that leave a lasting impression.
How to Write and Send Breakup Text
A breakup text isn’t something that you just wake up and write. Instead, there’s specific criteria to follow.
First off, you should establish whether you really want to end the relationship. Maybe you could still work things out and salvage the situation.
Listen to what your heart tells you. If your differences are irreparable and you believe you’d be happier without your partner, then follow the below criteria when writing a breakup text.
1. Find a suitable time
Breaking up with your partner, be it over a text message or not, should always be done when the time is right. Ideally, you should consider sending the text in the evening when your soon-to-be ex is most likely relaxing at home and has access to their phone. It’s important that they read the message as soon as possible. You wouldn’t want to send a breakup text when your partner is, say, at work, driving, or meeting their family.
2. Keep it private
The relationship has always been a private affair between the two of you, and there’s no reason why you should now make it public just because you’re parting ways. The good thing about breakup texts is that only you and the intended recipient can determine who else sees the message. Even then, don’t share the breakup text with anyone. Most importantly, your friends shouldn’t be privy to your intentions of breaking up with your partner, at least not before the fact.
3. Be discreet
Discretion is a major hallmark of breakup texts. The message should be as brief and candid as possible. Avoid using metaphor breakup lines or other forms of figurative language that could be open to interpretation. Also, avoid lengthy details on why you’re breaking up with your partner as they likely already know why.
4. Be formal
In addition to being discreet, ensure that your breakup text carries some degree of seriousness. If possible, keep it formal and avoid using slang, emojis, or unnatural characters. Also remember that this isn’t the time to crack silly jokes (or any jokes at all).
5. Be honest
This is arguably the most important requirement of any breakup text. The message should contain the actual reason why you’re quitting the relationship. Don’t leave your partner guessing. Even if they’re abundantly aware of the reason you could possibly break up with them, it’s still necessary to mention it. And don’t exaggerate. If they played you with one of your friends, don’t make it seem as though they slept with all of your friends. That might cause them to think that you’re overreacting.
6. Be kind
Your partner is someone you’ve been so deeply in love with before. You’ve shared fond memories together and there’s no point in being fussy when breaking up with them. Write them a plain breakup text and do not rub the message in.
Try to avoid the following breakup lines at all costs:
• I never loved you at all.
• I no longer love you! I hate you. You are stupid.
• I’m breaking up with you motherf****
• Not all monsters are ugly.
• Not every beast who gives roses to you can turn to be your prince.
• There is someone else in my life.
7. Remember that your needs come first
Above everything, remember that your needs come first. So, don’t go out of your way to please someone who’s a few minutes short of becoming your ex.
100 Unique Breakup Text Ideas
1. As much as it hurts, being heartbroken is better than being lied to by you. Goodbye.
2. Hello, I hope you are fine. It was a lovely meeting and being with you. I enjoyed getting to know you but I am not feeling a real connection between us.
3. Hey, thanks for being together for that long. However, I didn’t feel a spark in our relationship, let us end it here.
4. Hi there, you have been good to me. I am sorry to say that being in this relationship isn’t what I should be focusing on. I want to be solo.
5. I am breaking up with you… maybe I will wish I didn’t, maybe I will be happier, but it doesn’t matter because you don’t seem to care.
6. I am slowing losing you and it is very painful for me. I know you will never return but at least we can end our story in a positive manner.
7. I can’t wait any longer. I know that we should end it right now. We don’t belong together, and it’s time for both of us to move on with our lives. Separately. Thank you for being with me all this time. But it’s time to say goodbye.
8. I didn’t think my feelings would change for you, but then you changed. Goodbye.
9. I feel like I’m wasting the time that I’m spending with you. I don’t mean to hurt you, but it just doesn’t feel right. Sometimes feelings just fade, and we can do nothing about it. I wish you the happiest life. Goodbye.
10. I feel this relationship isn’t working for me and feel not compatible together. I want to end and wish you the best in the future.
11. I just need to get it off my chest. I’m not in love with you anymore. I don’t know if I ever was. Maybe I just wanted to have what everyone has, you know. Stable relationship, a house and a dog. But it’s not what I really want right now. I’m sorry for making things so complicated.
12. I know we had life’s best times when we were together, but it is hard to be in the same relation as there is no place to breathe here. It is better, we stop dreaming. We should face the truth and walk off from each other’s life.
13. I tried hard to express my feeling for you but you were never interested in understanding that. It’s painful to be a one-sided love relationship. Goodbye.
14. I will never deny that I loved you, but with time, things change and so did you. Goodbye.
15. Our breakup hurts me a lot, but I would rather heal a broken heart than suffer in a relationship with you. Goodbye.
16. There is nothing more painful than living in a fake relationship. It gives only disappointment. So, it’s the time to end all drama and be realistic. This is my goodbye message to you, stay happy.
17. We both just fight, argue and shout. No place is left for love, understanding and compassion. I think we should end this relationship at a beautiful turn, then ruining it more.
18. We have a bright future ahead of us just not with each other. Let’s be brave so that we can move on to better things. Goodbye.
19. With this message, all I want to say, we have been in a good relationship that has no future. I want to end it now forever. Goodbye.
20. You used to make me feel special, and that’s what really hurts now.
- “I want to say I enjoyed staying and chatting together, I would love to see you again, but for me, it would only be as friends. I am not sure if you will be keen on that?”
- “Tbh it was fun hanging up together, but I don’t think we are meant to be a couple”
- “It was so nice getting to know you over the past few [days, weeks, months], but I don’t feel a connection anymore. I wish you luck in the future!”
- “Truthfully, I am still in love with my ex, and things just don’t feel settled for us yet. I am sorry but I feel like this is goodbye.
- “After getting to know you a bit more, it’s obvious to me that you’re not quite ready to date. I hope you can get to a good place soon and find someone who makes you just as happy.”
- “I’d like to see other people and I know you don’t want an open relationship, so this is my goodbye.”
- “It seems like our paths are going in different directions and I need to put all my focus on my own path. Pursuing a relationship isn’t going to work out.”
- “It’s clear to me now that our views are incompatible. I am sorry (name) but this isn’t going to work.”
- “I wanted to let you know that my feelings for you are much stronger as a friend than as a romantic partner. Would you like to continue our relationship as friends going forward? I’d love to keep you in my life.”
- “I’ve realized the distance between us is too great and there is no immediate remedy. I am not built for a long-distance relationship. I’m sorry, I need to break this off and move on.”
- “I really wish it wasn’t ending this way, but I’ve lost all trust after learning that you cheated. Our relationship is over.”
- “I’m writing to let you know that I am no longer comfortable or willing to remain in this relationship. You are too controlling and I feel like I can’t move forward on my own personal journey whilst I am with you. I am sorry.”
- “Thanks for meeting up for drinks last night! I don’t think there’s a romantic spark, but I wish you the best of luck out there.”
- “Being in a relationship with you was a waste of time. I think breaking up is best because you need to figure out what you want in life.”
- “I think our relationship isn’t working. We have different priorities, and our personalities aren’t suited to each other. Think about it, and you’ll agree.”
- “I hope I’m not hurting your feelings because it’s the last thing I want to do, but I think we’d be better off as friends.”
- “Whatever happened in the past, I need to focus on my future. I think it’s better if we break up instead of trying to fix something that’s broken.”
- I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, and I feel like while we can be good friends, a relationship isn’t on the cards for us. I just want to be honest now, so you don’t feel led on.”
- “When I met you, I was in a bad place. You helped me a lot, and thank you. But that’s no reason to stay in a relationship that I don’t feel is working out, so I think breaking up is our best option.”
- “I think we need to meet to discuss the fight we had. It was a deal breaker for me, and I don’t think we can be together anymore. Let’s get together and talk one last time.”
- “I’ve been dishonest with you these last few weeks, and I feel bad about it. I don’t feel the same way as you do, and I want to end the relationship.”
- “Please don’t think that this is leaving me indifferent. I’m in just as much pain as you are! The problem is that I haven’t stopped loving you, I simply don’t trust that we’re right for each other. I hope you understand that, as well.”
- “You’ve been moving way too fast with this relationship since it started. I don’t think we’re on the same page at all. I don’t like sending break-up texts, but I think it’s time we face the truth.”
- “You’ve stopped caring for me and this relationship. At this point, you only make me feel like a burden. I deserve better than that and you deserve someone who appreciates your minimal effort. That someone isn’t me. Good luck and goodbye.”
- “I don’t want to do this anymore. We stay together because we’re scared of being alone! I don’t want to fight and cry every damn day. Let’s just end this now before my heart breaks into a million pieces. Goodbye.”
- “I need to get this off my chest, so I’m sorry that I’m sending you a breakup text. I’m not in love with you anymore, haven’t been for quite a while now actually. I know we made some amazing memories, but that’s about it. We don’t have anything else going for us. So let’s just break up already and move on.”
- “You used to make me feel so special, loved, and cared for. I haven’t felt like that next to you for a very long time now. So please understand what I’m about to say: I’m breaking up with you. We’re both at fault here, so I hope you won’t get mad. Goodbye.”
- “I’m not happy with you anymore. And say what you like, I see that you’re not happy with me either. We make each other miserable! Please let’s stop this. I can’t do this anymore, I want to be happy again. I want you to be happy again. There’s no way we can truly feel that when we’re together.”
- “There’s nothing more painful than staying in a loveless relationship. That’s what’s happening, isn’t it? You don’t love me anymore and it’s obvious. Because I want to be the bigger person, I’m going to end our misery and break up with you right now. Let’s hope we both find what we deserve.”
- “Maybe we weren’t ready for this relationship. I know that I wasn’t. So instead of dragging you along with me, it’s better if we break up right now. Please don’t be sad because of this, we just weren’t meant to be together.”
- Hey babe I think is time we take our relationship to the previous level
- If you take the “L” out of LOVER. Its OVER
- I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
- Hey baby I’m calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
- They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you
- You have been my best friend always, even after becoming my wife. I know you love me a lot, but now I have realized, my love is someone else. I am sorry for hurting you, but can’t continue this relationship.
- I knew this girl in middle school who would break up with boys by saying: roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you
- Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
- Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
- You remind me of Halley’s Comet. I don’t wanna see you again for another 74 years
- I think we need to become better strangers.
- Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We’re not working out anymore
- I never thought I could be hurt by you. You have given me a big shock. I do not know if I will ever be able to see your face again. Good bye! Thank you for all the pain.
- I am done giving all my time to you and spending all my energy on you. Let us just overlook that we’ve even met and had a thing. I wish to not see you again or talk to you. Bye. Good luck.
- Life was beautiful with you, I will take time to move out, but eventually, I would. So, goodbye and do take good care of yourself!
- You wanted me to love you unconditionally, projected me as your partner but treated me as ur servant. Love has a condition, that is, respect your partner. I don’t want to be such relation. Goodbye
- There is no trust left in our relationship. I can never look at you the same way I used to. It is okay that we’re just not good for each other. Life happens. All the best. Bye
- I could have moved on but I won’t because I wanna see your guilt face whenever you see me alone and broken
- I was always there for you, my love always wanted to be with you, but when you cheated me it was your loss that you never understood.
- I know we had the life’s best time when we were together, but it is hard to be in the same relation as there is no place to breathe here. It is better, we stop dreaming. We should face the truth and walk off from each other’s life
- A piece of thought to you doesn’t ruin somebody else’s life like you did to me because someone may not be as strong as I am
- You are the kind of a man who deserves a woman who is all in for you. I am genuinely sorry that I am not the right woman for you. So, I wish that you will get the perfect match someday. Goodbye.
- I don’t feel happy living in the relationship that you call is full of love. I need freedom from all the mess, so accept my final goodbye and forget me forever
- Girl you’re looking like a snack and I’m going on a diet.
- I rejected everyone just to give time to you, to make love with you but you always kept me last. Heartbroken!
- I want you to kick off your past and move forward in life with proud and confidence. I am not the man you should cry for.
- No, no one can take your place in my heart, but sometimes it just becomes difficult to be happy together. This is our case. Goodbye dear, have a good life.
- Thank you for teaching me a lesson of not trusting anybody, I was blind, and I don’t blame you.
- I just walked away because you were busy finding faults in me, while I was busy overlooking yours. So now, I finally decided to break this relationship forever. We were never meant for each other. I hope I will get my right partner and you will get yours. Goodbye.
- I wasn’t prepared for this marriage, but everyone insisted me and said, things will turn good and I will start loving you. But, nothing happen so far and will never happen. I don’t wanna drag you in this relation. From my side you are free and I’m ending everything here.
- We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
- You will get something good someday for thing that you have lost today. Look at the positive side of things, and forgive me for breaking your heart.
- Baby are you an angel? Because I’m an atheist
- I have decided to break up with you as things are not working between us, and won’t work in the future.
- I wish you get the best person in your life after me. Please don’t ruin your beauty by crying for me. You are cute, adorable and pretty. It’s only me who doesn’t deserve you.
- You have proved that everything that is good, will not last long. We shared a beautiful relationship, and now it is over. Goodbye
- After hurting you, I am so much in pain that I can’t show my face to you. Goodbye, and if possible, please forgive me
- I want to break up with you. Sorry Wrong Number
- You were right! I’m irresponsible, careless, self-centered. But you are wrong when you say, I don’t love you. This is not true, and soon you will realize it.
- Maybe I was not mature enough to handle our love, and it ended at this turn. But, I assure you no one can love you the way I do.
- There was a time when the thought of separating from you used to scare me from within. But, now there is no doubt that I want to end this relationship.
- Maybe this is the best decision for both of us. perhaps it is written in the stars.
- Are you a music fan? Because you are going to have a deeper appreciation for Adele’s songs.
- Breaking up with you is as difficult as staying with you. I’m choosing the first option because this way at least you will be happy.
- Hey babe, are you the McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine because you just aren’t working for me anymore.
- We have outgrown one another, I’m sorry but its just not working anymore
- Damn girl, are you being followed? Cause I’ve been seeing people behind your back.
- Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would keep u and I pretty much where they are, far apart from each other. Maybe even make them a little further away.
- Hey baby, I think I’m going blind. Because I can’t see you anymore.
- We both knew it was a tempestuous relationship, to begin with. But we chose to remain oblivious to that fact. Now that we’ve had enough space to think straight without fighting, I think it’s best if we end it here. I have no hard feelings for you; it just wasn’t meant to be. I wish you all the best for your future.
- Hey. I hope you’re doing fine today. It’s been quite a while since we’ve thought of separating our paths. I won’t deny the fact that I miss you; you had certainly become a huge chunk of my life. It pains me to admit that we couldn’t get along. The fighting and the turbulence was too much for either of us to handle.
- There’s always wisdom in parting ways. I still adore you for the person you are. For what it’s worth, you made my life beautiful while our relationship lasted. I wish you all the success you have always yearned for.
- You are meant to do great things in life. Don’t let this breakup dim your light. I have never thought ill of you and never will. I hope we can still be friends.
- Hey. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. It’s hard to get over you, but I also know that if we get back together, it’ll end in another messy fight. It’s like our bond was synonymous with carnage. It was just too stormy. There are better days ahead of us. I hope you understand why I did what I did.
- I guess you weren’t my soul mate; you were my twin flame. We were passionate about each other, but for all the wrong reasons. Nevertheless, there’s more to life. I will always hold you close to my heart. Goodbye.
- I hate goodbyes, and I never thought a breakup would shake me up like this. However, this must be done. Goodbye; I wish you all the best in your life ahead. May you achieve all that you have always dreamed of.
- Even though I love you as a person and as a friend, I just feel like we’ve changed our priorities. Our relationship doesn’t come first anymore like it used to. I hope we can still be friends, but let’s just end this turbulent relationship so we can move on with our lives.
- Sometimes your absence aches me to the core. I won’t deny that I miss your morning smile and evening laughter. I miss our late-night snack hoarding and movie binging. You were a huge part of my life. It’s sad how it ended the way it did. But I have no hard feelings for you, and I wish you all the best in life.
- Hey, I’m just checking up on you to see if you’re okay. We’re both having a rough time moving forward, but it is what it is.
- I’m glad we moved on. There’s no beef between us. I’m glad we ended it gracefully.
- I do not have a bone to pick with you; I hope you don’t either. Take care of yourself, and goodbye forever.
- I just wish you didn’t lie to me the way you did. Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in life. Goodbye.
- This just isn’t working between us. We fight every day, and I’ve stopped seeing the brighter side of life. It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. Let’s finish this gracefully.
- I hate to be the one doing this, but I’ve exhausted all my energy in trying to fix this relationship. Yet, you couldn’t care less. I can’t do this anymore.
- I don’t understand how you don’t feel the least bit of responsibility towards me. I can’t do this anymore. Farewell.
- As I look back upon our time together, I see nothing but cherished memories. We were together for some of the most memorable times. It’s a shame it has to end this way. I guess finding the right person isn’t enough, after all. It’ll be tough getting over this. Fare thee well.
- I hate to be doing this over text, but I can’t risk meeting you in person. You’ve proven to be vile and vicious, I don’t know how I was so blind. I don’t like who I become when I’m with you. Goodbye.
- As much as I love and care for you, I just don’t think we’re good together. I feel like we’ve grown apart, and the spark just isn’t there anymore. I think we should take a break. Goodbye.
- I’ve been struggling to communicate my feelings to you, and I don’t think this relationship is working out. It’s better we go our separate ways and find someone more compatible.
- We both have very different goals at this point in life, and I think staying together is only proving to be a hindrance to achieving those goals. As much as I wish I could’ve been with you to achieve these goals, I’m just not the person for you. I hope you find someone who aligns with you. Bless you.
- I know breaking up over text is a pity, but I had no choice. I didn’t how to face you, and quite frankly, I don’t think I ever want to. Don’t try to contact me again, please. We’re done.
- I honestly can’t believe you turned out to be a cheater. I feel stupid to have believed all your lies when the truth was right there. I never want to see your face again. Goodbye!
- I just can’t bear being around you anymore. Every time I see you, my heartaches. When did we become so toxic to each other? I hope you find someone who makes you happy and you achieve all that you want in life. It just can’t be with me. Farewell.
- The air becomes dense when I’m with you. You’ve completely changed as a person. I don’t think I can make this work anymore. I need to be out of this relationship. I hope you understand.
- I’m at the point in life where I just can’t take any more BS from you. I wish for you to mature and take things a bit more seriously. I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry.
- I hate to be doing this over text, but you’ve left me no choice. Please leave me alone; I no longer wish to be with you. Our differences are beyond repair. Goodbye.
- If you try calling me or texting me again, I swear I’ll block you off everywhere. Why can’t you understand that I no longer love you? I didn’t want to be rude or hurtful, but you’ve left me with no choice. Just go away!
- Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m going through a lot right now, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Staying in this relationship is detrimental for both of us right now because of the state I’m in. I need time to discover myself and find my identity. I need a break; I hope you understand.
- Lately, I’ve been feeling really caged in this relationship, and I’ve tried talking to you about this over and again. You just don’t seem to understand. I’ve decided that I no longer want to be with you for the sake of my own sanity. Please don’t try to contact me again. Good luck and goodbye.
- You promised me you’d always take care of my heart, but all you’ve done is stomp over it. I feel like a wreck, and there’s no going back from this. Please leave me alone, I don’t want to be with you anymore.
- I gave you chances to mend yourself over and over. I was with you through rehab and everything, but you just can’t seem to get a grip. I’m done being selfless, and I need to be selfish for my own sake.
- We’ve grown apart with time, and our interests don’t match. I’ve tried very hard to make this work, but I feel like we’ve hit a dead-end.
- I love you more than anything, but I think it just isn’t meant to be. You’re the right person at the wrong time, and that just breaks my heart. Maybe we could reunite in the future, but for now, it’s goodbye.
- It pains me to admit this, but I’ve grown out of love with you, and there isn’t anything you can do to mend this. I need to go my separate way. I hope you live a joyous and successful life. Goodbye.
- I’m sorry if I ever gave you any false expectations, but I was never in this for the long run. I’m really sorry for doing this, but I can’t be with you anymore.
- I really can’t deal with you anymore; it’s taking a huge deal on my nerves. You need to get your life together and stop ruining mine. Whatever we had is over now. Please leave me alone and don’t contact me. Farewell.
- I’m glad it finally came to an end. Like all good things, this, too was destined to end. I have no remorse, and you shouldn’t either.
- We have decided to part ways, but I just want you to know that I still respect you. I’ll still be there for you if you need me.
- You were a huge chunk of my life. But not anymore. This emotional trauma was too much for both of us. Have a good life ahead.
Final Word
Breaking up with someone who stole your heart may be a difficult decision to make. There’s always the temptation to make your partner feel like they’re all to blame for not acting to save the relationship. As such, you may want to send them a mean breakup text that will linger in their memories forever. But it’s really not worth it. Why not consider any of the above kind and candid breakup text ideas and walk out of the relationship with your head high?
Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams.
When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games.